All language subtitles for The Bionic Woman S02E08 Black Magic 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN (1)_track5_[eng]

[high-pitched howling]

[doorbell chimes]

Good evening, Barlow.

Welcome, Mr. Manfred.

Nice to see you again.

Well, it's good to be back.

I left my things down at the landing.

You'll fetch them and put
them up in my old room?

Yes, sir.

How is my dear brother?

At death's door, sir.

I doubt if he'll last the night.

Oh.

That's too bad.

Tell him I'm here.

Yes, sir

Such bad taste.

[door squeaks]

Stop staring, you fool.

I'm not dead yet.

Mr. Manfred's arrived, sir.

I told him your condition.

I suppose he's giggling
in anticipation,

in his sickening way.

Barlow?

How would you like to be a wealthy man?

Well, I'd have no objection, sir.

You have all the qualifications

for inherited wealth.

Spineless,

slavish to superiors,
arrogant to inferiors.

My will states the value I have
placed on your years of faithful service--

Two cents.

Bring Manfred in.

Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.

[door squeaks]

How are you feeling, Cyrus?

Are you in pain?

Yes, and it's grown more acute since
you entered the room.

We can only hope you're going
to a better place.

Personally, I've never believed
all those ugly stories

about retribution in the next world.

For your sake, I certainly hope
that they're not true.

You'll find out soon enough for yourself.

I've just tried to follow
an older brother's example.

But this is no time to reminisce.

There are family matters to settle.

Mm.

My will is over there

behind the picture, in the safe.

I had the safe designed
with you in mind--

Burglar-proof.

That's cruel, Cyrus.

The will has some surprises.

I had a terrible time

deciding which relative
should get my money.

I hate you all so much.

But you are my family,

so one of you gets everything.

Naturally, as your only brother,
you named me.

Let's just say

I left it all to the smartest.

[snickers]

I'm sorry, Mr. Manfred.

- He just died laughing.
- Laughing.

If you'll excuse me, sir,
I'll notify the attorney, Mr. War field.

He'll want to summon
the rest of the family.

Oh, yes, of course.
Of course.

[door squeaks]

[Oscar] Manfred Car stairs.

Indicted 17 times.

17 times?

[Oscar] Never convicted of anything.

Wait'll you see the rest of the family.

This is Claudette.
She's been married six times.

Divorced twice, widowed four times.

Four times?
How'd they die?

Probably overdoses of Claudette.

There's Aunt Tess.
She lives in England.

She was convicted of black-marketing
during the war.

She's under suspicion of high crimes
and misdemeanors.

And here is Andrew War field,
Car stairs' attorney.

The legal profession's been
trying to disbar him for years.

Who's that?

That's the Car stairs' only niece, Tracy.

She's agreed to let you
impersonate her.

The Car stairs family hasn't seen her

since she ran away
to join the circus 18 years ago.

Can't say as I blame her,
with that family she's got.

Um, what am I after?

An envelope marked Top Secret.

In it is a formula for a high-speed alloy
used in our jet fighters.

Old Cyrus developed it

and was about to sell it to us
for $20 million when he died.

One of the members of the Car stairs family
has offered it for sale,

and foreign powers are offering millions.

We think the will
will tell us where the formula is.

Now that's why I'm sending you
to Car stairs Manor on Lafitte island.

Car stairs Manor?
Lafitte island?

Oscar, sounds like an old horror movie.

Igor's not going to meet me at the door,
is he?

I don't know if Igor will be there, Jaime.

But I wouldn't take my eyes off this guy.

Just ahead.

Where's the house?

A little ways inland.

I'll pay you extra if you
take me up there.

No one around here'd be fool
enough to set foot on Lafitte island

and maybe run into the creature.

Creature?
What creature?

Oh, well, most think it is just a trick
of old Cyrus to--

To scare trespassers away.

What do the rest say?

Mon Dieu.

Unholy things happened in the old days,

when Lafitte pirates ruled the swamp.

Me, I--
I don't believe a word of it.

That's encouraging.

[engine starting]

Hello?

[footsteps]

Hello?

[growling]

[shrieks]

[grunts]

Hey, now, come on, stop that.

You should be ashamed of yourself,
scaring people like that.

Huh? Uh.

Uh-uh.

[hinges squeaking]

[doorbell chimes]

Hello?

Hello?

[metal clanging]

[metal clanging]

Who are you?

I'm Tracy.

Oh, yes, of course.

You're Marcia's little girl.

Well, I'm Uncle Manfred.
How are you, my dear?

Not very well at the moment, thank you.

Man scared me half to death on
my way from the landing.

- Really?
- And outside in front here,

a very large pot fell
and barely missed me.

Well, I'm not surprised.

It's terrible the way Cyrus
neglected the place.

It's literally falling down.

At the oddest times.

Yes, well, I'm delighted to see you again,
my dear.

But you've changed, almost too much,
especially your eyes.

There's none of the Car stairs
look about them.

Strange.

Well, it has been 18 years,
Uncle Manfred.

And speaking of strange things--

Oh, yes, of course.
Well, I--

I was just testing the safe.

It's very well built.

Yes, we can all feel very safe
with the will locked up in it.

Let me show you up
to your mother's old room, hm?

Are my aunts here yet?

Oh, no, no, you're the first to arrive.

But don't harbor foolish hopes
about any part of the family fortune.

- Oh, so the will has been read already?
- Oh, no.

No. But he left everything
to the smartest among us.

Everybody in the family knows who that is.

[chuckles]

Well, I never realized Cyrus
admired me so much.

Imagine him leaving
me all his money.

Ha-ha, you?

Yes, well, he said the smartest,
didn't he?

Well, I'm not saying that--that
Manfred and Tessie are utterly retarded.

[giggles]

But they're no whiz kids, either.

[laughs]

And these aren't booby prizes, darling.

Uh-huh.

Oh, War field, bring the bags.

Bring the bags.

All right.

You, uh, you wouldn't want
to carry--carry

your jewelry ca--

Case, would you? No, I guess not.

Come in, Snow White.
This is Dopey.

Come in, Snow White.
You in position yet?

Jaime, how's it going?

Well, pretty bad.
There's already been attempt on my life.

Listen, if it's that dangerous,
you better get out of there.

How?

The water around this island
is filled with snakes and alligators,

and this house is filling up
with Car stairs.

[crash]

- [War field] Ah!
- Wait a minute, Oscar.

Oh!

Oh, get up, War field.

It was only a glancing blow.

Manfred and Cyrus got me several times
when we were children.

Oh!

Ah.

War field and Claudette
just got the same reception I did.

Look, Oscar, I think that the formula
is in Cyrus's safe.

I'm going to go after it now.

All right, but be careful.

And watch out for those Car stairs.

Yes, thank you.

By tonight, all of this will be mine.

How sweet of dear Cyrus
to leave everything to me.

If he'd said the most beautiful,

I would have known he meant Claudette.

She's really quite pretty
in a tawdry sort of way.

But it took more than the gaudy
to slay dear Cyrus.

Oh, we did agree on $50 for the trip,
didn't we?

Oh, you said $100.
Otherwise I would not have come.

Oh.

Have a safe trip back.

You frog.

[clicking]

[growls]

Ha. That you, Manfred?

I know it is.

Stop the nonsense and come out at once.

We're not children any longer,
you know, Manfred.

Stop trying to scare me.

[growls]

Very well.

Two can play at that game.

[gunshots]

Uh?

Uh!

That'll teach you.

[sonar pinging]

[clicking]

Just what are you doing, girl?

She was just trying to cheat us.

Just like you were trying to do.

How about you, Manfred.

Those marks on that metal
weren't made by any woodpeckers.

Don't move, anybody.

What's going on here?

Who's she?

Oh, that's our niece, Tracy.

Aunt Tess and Claudette.

Would you believe,
when I first saw her, I--

I didn't think that
she was one of us.

Not much family resemblance.

None at all.

She doesn't look like us, but--

She certainly acts like us.

A Car stairs through and through.

Welcome aboard.

Sweet darling.

Come, let me take you to your room.

My goodness, the circus certainly
has an effect on your clothing.

Still working in the sideshow?

Come in, Snow White.

[Oscar] Hello, Dopey.

I'm not Dopey anymore.
I'm Grumpy.

And I haven't got the formula.

However, I have been accepted
as a Car stairs.

Somehow, Jaime,
I knew that you'd fit right in.

[Jaime] Now, that's a rotten thing to say.

Say, Oscar, these people are homicidal.

They're trying to knock each other off.

Wouldn't surprise me a bit
if they are stole the formula.

Well, they all know how
high the stakes are.

My information tells me

that the formula hasn't been
delivered yet,

so it still must be in the house.

Well, they're going to have
the will-reading right after dinner,

so I should know something soon.

Good.
I'll move in when you tell me.

You got it.

[growls]

Radio.

[growls]

50 left, right 13.

Wait a minute.

Yes.

Nothing but this.

Here, that's for you.

Ah, he put his will on a TV cassette.

Mm.

Wanted to tell us what
was in it personally.

Why, there's no television set
in this house.

Oh, yes there is, Miss Claudette.

Why was it kept locked?

He didn't want the servants
wasting time watching it.

Oh, but you had the key, hm?

Oh, your easy days are over, Barlow.

Turn it on, huh?

All right, watch and weep.

[Cyrus] My dear family.

Oh, Cyrus, Cyrus.

Hello, hello, wherever you are.

Doesn't he look wonderful?

All things considered,
a most handsome man.

Manfred.

Tess. Claudette.

[cough]

You aren't even mentioned, darling.

You and Marcia's little girl,

what's-her-name, are my family.

And so you all have a crack at my fortune.

Back to the races, darling.

[Cyrus] I tried to give

you all equal chances
to prove who is the smartest.

Hidden somewhere here in this house
is a safe deposit box

containing various valuable papers

and the stock certificates
to all my companies.

I'm making it winner take all,
to the one who finds it.

Forgive me, Cyrus.

For a moment,
I actually thought well of you.

So a scavenger hunt

will have to pick the fittest

to replace me as head of the family.

Hopefully, it will be the best,
the smartest, luckiest--

Or perhaps, if I know my dear family,

just the survivor.

Oh, uh,
War field is allowed in the hunt, too,

because he has proven over so many years

that he can't do anything right, anyway.

Now, here are all the clues that
you will need to find the box.

"'The time has come,'
the walrus said,'

to talk of many things.

Of shoes and ships and sealing wax,

and cabbages and kings.

And why the sea is boiling hot
and whether pigs have wings.'"

And why the fun when time has run

and stopped its tired fling.

All right, scavengers.

Start your hunt.

[snickers]

Oh, just the kind of childish thing
I'd expect of him.

A really flawed mind.

But I don't understand.

What does it mean?

Well, it's from Lewis Carroll,

but I'm afraid Uncle Cyrus
wrote the last line himself.

Well, the only thing we can do is go along
with his stupid game.

The time has come, the walrus said.

Ships?

Shoes?

Fun when time has stopped?

Cabbages.

Boiling hot.

Pigs with wings?

Shall we be civilized for once
and agree on some ground rules?

Like what?

Well, we don't want to be stumbling over
each other in the dark.

Let's start the hunt at, say, 6:00 a.m.?
Hm?

That's a wonderful idea.

- Very fair.
- Fine.

- Okay by me.
- Hm.

See you at 6 o'clock sharp.

Well, no hurry.

I'll have breakfast before I start.

Oh, that's a capital idea.

If I oversleep, be sure and wake me.

[yawn]

Sleep well, all.

A good night's sleep'll be wonderful.

Good night, everybody.

[sonar pinging]

Sound like everybody decided
to get up a little early.

Somebody got my radio

[sonar pinging]

I'm going to have to stay one jump ahead
of these Car stairs.

Eh.

[high-pitched howl]

[high-pitched howl]

[clock chiming]

Wings, pigs, boiling hot.

It's the kitchen.

[clock chiming]

Shoes, shoes, shoes.

Sealing wax.

A letter.

Cyrus always was a pig.

But he did take wings from here.

The walrus said,
to talk of many things.

Talk, talk, talk.

Could it mean the television set?

[glass shattering]

Kings.

Ah!

- I saw it first.
- You did not!

- Ooh!
- Would you let go of it, you old bat?

[smash]

Hey!

Oh, nothing.

Ah, well, here, you can take it.

But the next clue is mine.

Tess, I--
I've already checked the kitchen.

Smart girl.

And now why don't you go
and help War field search the living room?

Mr. War field?

Mr. War field?

Well, so much for kings.

[loud bang]

[smash]

[crash]

Get out!

This is the only ship in the house,
and it's mine.

Well, I just came in to see
if you were all right.

Well, close the door.

[smash]

[bang]

[sonar pinging]

Claudette--

Ahh! Oh!

Is something wrong, Miss?

Well, Aunt Claudette just disappeared.

Oh, she's been doing that
for years, Miss.

The first time was when she married
the Polish count.

And then she just dropped out
of sight

when she met the Buenos Aires gentleman.

No, no, no, she just
disappeared from that room.

Hmm. Was there a gentleman with her?

[sigh]

Where is Uncle Manfred?

I think he's in the attic.

- The attic?
- Yes, he--

He remembered the fine wood carvings

in the ceiling of the master bedroom
and asked me if we'd ever waxed them.

I told him, oh,
sometimes we touched them up.

Then he just shouted,
ceiling wax!

And, and--and ran up into the attic.

Will that be all, Miss?

Thank you.

[clock chimes]

[Tess] Stop!

Don't move, girly.

What have you done
with Claudette and War field?

What are you talking about?

I saw everything.

I left him in the drawing room.

He disappeared after you had been there.

The same thing happened to Claudette.

You're young, but you're all Car stairs.

Did you realize that I had
solved the puzzle,

and you came back to get me, too?

- What?
- Look at it.

It hasn't rung for years.

"And why the fun when time has
run

and stopped its tired fling."

I know the secret's in it somewhere.

Turn around.

What are you going to do?

Just turn around!

Well, can I--can I please just
tell you why I came here?

Tess?

Tess?

You're next, my dear.

[Jaime] The formula has got to be
in this crazy house somewhere.

Now what have we got?

"And whether pigs have wings.

And why the fun when the time
has run to--

[sonar pinging]

- [squeak]
- [gasp]

- [man] Oop!
- Well, hey!

Wha--

Tracy, what are you doing?

There is a man behind that wall.

[Manfred] How unusual.

Oh, not for this house, it isn't.

And by process of elimination,
it must be Barlow.

Barlow?
Oh, don't be ridiculous.

That lazy oaf--

- Well, who else would could it be?
- Wouldn't dare compete

...with the Car stairs.

You can't be in two places at one time.

And everyone else has disappeared.

Is it possible you could be right?

Tracy, I'm not one to share,

but there's a first time for everything.

For safety's sake,
I think we'd better cooperate.

What's on your mind?

What would you want if we
found that box together?

There's an envelope that's
probably just among his personal papers.

You may have all the rest.

What's so valuable about that envelope?

I am a philatelist.

- A philatel-what?
- I'm a stamp collector.

Oh.

Do we have a deal?

Partner.

Let's pool our knowledge.

Hell, I took the attic apart.

- There's nothing up there.
- Okay.

Claudette found the only ship
in the house,

so I think that's a red herring.

And War field found the only thing
that looks like a king.

Now, I myself went through the kitchen,
so there are no cabbages.

So maybe Tess was right.

Could it have anything to do
with that clock?

Oh, no. No.

Cyrus would never hide it in
as obvious a place as that.

What time is it?

It's almost 8:00.

Eight o'clock.

And kings on the chessboard.

Maybe that's the kind of king
he was talking about.

Could be.

Oh, what is that?
Is that supposed to be light

coming down through a window
or something?

Looks like it.

Okay, so we've got 8 o'clock and light.

Eight o'clock light coming through
a window

makes a chess board on the floor!

What position is that king?

Queen three.

Look, okay, I don't know
anything about chess.

- Can you show me where--
- Sure.

- Stand on it, please?
- There.

[Jaime] ls there anything down there?

The old family burial crypt.

There's a stairway leading down
to it in the back hall.

[Jaime] This is about where queen's
three would be.

We should be right under it.

Without the sun,
time has stopped for it, too.

Help me with this.

[grunts]

I'll get a crowbar.

[metal creaking]

I got it.

How did you--

And here is Uncle Cyrus' box.

Well, look at that.

Well, we found it.

Isn't that right, partner?

Guess so.

Silly girl.

I was talking to my real partner.

The butler did it?

Well, actually, we did it together.

I made an arrangement
with Barlow before Cyrus was even cold.

He caught Tess and War field.

And I got poor Claudette.

And you.

What are you doing?

Did you think I'd settle
for more scraps from the Car stairs table?

The old man wanted to sell the formula
to the government.

But he got plenty of other offers
before he died.

So I--I made a deal for it.

They're waiting to hear from me now.

Barlow, remember your place.

Move.

Move!

Sir.

Hm.

Down to the end of the corridor.

Oh, now, you horrid man,
get us out of here.

I'll pay you back for this, Manfred.

I am suing everybody for every dime
in the estate.

Inside.

[cell door creaks]

I suppose you realize this means
you're discharged.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Ah.

This is Barlow, sir.

I have the goods.

[man] Splendid.

We'll be there shortly, as agreed.

There's something else you
must do for me, too.

[man] Yes? What is it?

Dispose of several persons.

[man] My friend, for that formula,
we'll do anything you want.

[Claudette] It's all your fault, Manfred!

Completely and totally!

Triple damages!

I am naming everyone as accessories.

Oh, what do you mean, it's my fault?

Don't go blaming me
for the servant problem.

You know, this looks awfully old.

- It might break easily.
- Oh, don't be stupid.

They're solid.

Cyrus and I found them
when we were kids.

They're the chains Lafitte
held his prisoners with.

We used to have lots of fun
tying up the governess with them.

Well, I still think a link or two
might have rusted through.

[chain jingling]

However you did that,
I'm glad you're on my side.

Your side?

I just might need you.
But can I trust you?

You have my word of honor.

[snickers]

That and ten cents would get me a dime.

Don't be cruel, Tracy.

There's a lot of Cyrus in you.

Help me find Barlow.

Sure.

Ah!

Where's the envelope.

All right, so you've got the gun.
I'll search him.

No, you don't!

Well, then, you give me the gun,
then you search him.

- No.
- No.

Checkmate.

[airplane approaching]

[airplane approaching]

Well, that must be his contact.

Look, you Car stairs may be rotten,
but these people are really killers.

You treacherous scum.

How much did they offer you
to--to betray me?

$10 million.

$10 million? Really?

- You did say $10 million--
- Manfred, come on!

Now these people that
are coming here,

they're very dangerous.

Do you think that they know
what he looks like?

Could they possibly have met?

Oh, I can't see how.

Cyrus didn't give him a day off
in 30 years.

Okay.

You and I are going to take a chance.

Come on. Get up.

$10 million.

[Tess] Tracy, surely you're not going
to leave us here any longer.

Don't you owe us some loyalty?

Loyalty?

You were going to put me away.

Oh, well, if you're going to hold grudges.

Some people are like that,
always dwelling on the past.

I didn't do anything.

Don't you try and make me
feel guilty, any of you,

because it's not going to work.

All right.

All right, I will.

But you had better do exactly
what I tell you.

Don't you trust us?

Oh, about as far as I can throw you.

No, I don't trust you that far.

[doorbell chimes]

Good day.

- You're Barlow?
- Yes, of course.

Where's the money?

It's deposited in the Swiss Bank,
as per our agreement.

You'll get the number of the account

when we get the formula.

Very good.

Where are the people you
want taken care of?

They're waiting for you.

Call me a sensitive fool,
but I just can't bear to watch.

Excuse you, Manfred.

Nice work, Manfred.

I guess I was wrong about
you after all.

Where'd he go?

He went out there.

You--

Why should I be surprised?

Tracy!

Oh, thank heaven you're safe.

Oh, ho, ho, yes.

Oh, Tracy, to the shallow mind,
I know that this looks incriminating.

But in deeper retrospect,

I'm sure you'll understand

my worry about you,
and why I was rowing for help.

[laughs]

[Oscar] And so Barlow and his contacts
are all in jail.

What's going to happen
to the Car stairs fortune?

Well, it's up for the courts to decide,
of course.

But my guess is Tracy will get it all.

- Tracy?
- [Oscar] Yeah.

Old man Cyrus left it
to the smartest Carstair, right?

- Yeah.
- And it's a good argument

that the smartest Carstair

wouldn't come within
a thousand miles of the place.

Amen.

And she got the OSI

to have somebody go in there
and get it for her.

Smart girl. Not dumb. Smart girl.

Here's to you, babe.

You did good.

I'll drink to that.

Oscar.

They have escaped.

They're sitting down right
there behind us.

Uh, Jaime, I, uh,
I've got to tell you something.

I had to let them go.

Let them go?

Well, you see,

the Car stairs wouldn't testify
against each other.

And since they did help
you capture Barlow--

Well, yes, but--

Pardon.

The gentleman asks if he
and his party might join you.

- No.
- No, thank you very much.

You'd think after all we've
done for her

she'd let bygones be bygones.

Oh!

Look at that outfit.

Glad she's going back
to the sideshow

Silly girl.

She just wants us to coax her
into accepting our apology.

- Yes.
- Oh, very well, let's go.

Oscar, they're coming over here.

Those nuts are coming over here
to this table anyway.

[theme music]