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1
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:10,984
- [upbeat music playing on laptop]
- Ooh.
2
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:12,928
Oh! [laughs]
3
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,639
Hi! I didn't see you there.
4
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:18,518
I'm Cassy Wight,
and I specialize in distressed properties.
5
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:21,938
I can sell your house
no matter what problems it has.
6
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,332
- [smile dings]
- [audience laughs]
7
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:27,235
I think my house is haunted
by Civil War ghosts.
8
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:29,029
From the wrong side.
9
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,072
I can sell that house!
10
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,156
[audience laughs]
11
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:34,743
My house has a family of raccoons
squatting in it,
12
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,244
and they know their rights.
13
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,204
I can sell that house!
14
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,122
[audience laughs]
15
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:42,292
I blew up my garage
trying to deep fry a turkey.
16
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,627
I can sell that house!
17
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,711
[audience laughs]
18
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:48,965
I can sell your house
if it used to be a Chili's To Go
19
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,259
or if it was built over a coyote cemetery,
20
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,470
or any of the following:
21
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:54,804
[audience laughs]
22
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,099
♪ Make it classy
And call Cassy ♪
23
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:01,853
♪ Cassy Wight sellz properties
Serving all of Tampa Bay ♪
24
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:03,480
Will travel outside of Tampa Bay.
25
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,356
- [smile dings]
- [audience laughs]
26
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,540
So, what did you think of my commercial?
27
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:10,361
Really great, Mom.
I can't believe you made it yourself.
28
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,614
You're even better
than my favorite actress,
29
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:13,948
Flo from Progressive.
30
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,032
[audience laughs]
31
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,493
I have a couple of notes.
32
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,162
Is it too late to change your outfit?
33
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:21,081
- Yes?
- Then I love that outfit.
34
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,083
- Awesome job, Mom.
- [audience laughs]
35
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:24,626
[bells ding]
36
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,629
[upbeat pop opening credits playing]
37
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:29,464
[music fades]
38
00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,091
[Mandy] Mom, I really liked your ad.
39
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:32,654
It's awesome you're giving visibility
40
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,135
to a woman-run business.
41
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:38,014
Yeah, it's kinda like when KFC
let Reba McEntire play The Colonel.
42
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,849
- [audience laughs]
- Oh, my God,
43
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,573
Mandy, do you want me to make an ad
for your presidential campaign?
44
00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,145
- No.
- [audience laughs]
45
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,397
Okay, little miss Rotten Tomatoes
over here.
46
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:47,875
- [audience laughs]
- No, it's great.
47
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:50,735
It's just Taylor and I decided
this is gonna be a friendly election.
48
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,862
No campaigning, no mudslinging.
49
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,864
[scoffs] Cable news
is gonna hate you guys.
50
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:55,990
[audience laughs]
51
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:58,159
Wow, check out these headshots.
52
00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:00,411
Cass, now I know why you married me.
53
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:02,664
'Cause I look good.
54
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:03,748
[audience laughs]
55
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:07,090
Are you sure you're gonna have enough
to sign at Terry's charity event?
56
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,648
There might be a lot of people there.
57
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:11,214
I doubt it.
Terry's terrible at organizing things.
58
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,383
Like that one time
he threw me a surprise party,
59
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,009
but I was the first one he invited.
60
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,404
- [audience laughs]
- This sounds like the best birthday yet.
61
00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:18,548
I can't believe I missed it.
62
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:19,806
We all missed you.
63
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,349
It was the best day.
64
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,143
Who is she talking to?
65
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,353
Alex, her best friend from Minnesota.
66
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,648
[scoffs] One of those
coat-wearing northerners.
67
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,441
- [audience laughs]
- [doorbells rings]
68
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,609
Lola, get the door.
69
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,862
- I'm on the phone with Alex.
- Lola, get the door.
70
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,071
Dad, you're closer.
71
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,907
Hey, unless you got a forklift handy,
I'm not getting off this couch.
72
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:38,825
Get the door.
73
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,870
- [audience laughs]
- [scoffs] I gotta get the door. Hang on.
74
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,249
- Alex!
- Lola!
75
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:50,128
- [audience laughs]
- [Lola and Alex scream hysterically]
76
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,345
- [continued screaming]
- You can hang up now.
77
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,309
- [audience laughs]
- [Lola and Alex giggle]
78
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:58,094
- What are you doing here?
- [sighs] Your amazing dad flew me out.
79
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,012
You heard her.
80
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,681
From now on, I'm known as "Amazing Dad."
81
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:02,849
[audience laughs]
82
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,642
Oh. We changing names?
83
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:08,021
From now on,
I want to be called "Frank Thunderbutt."
84
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,438
[audience laughs]
85
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:11,928
Look, I know you've been feeling
a little homesick lately,
86
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,819
so I thought it'd be kinda nice
if Alex was around for a while.
87
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,404
- Come to the roof!
- Oh, my God...
88
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:18,990
- [both talking over each other]
- [audience laughs]
89
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,205
[upbeat pop music playing]
90
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,542
- [music fades]
- Wow!
91
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,170
This is a pretty good turnout
for an autograph signing.
92
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:37,258
"Make it one round with the Big Show
and win a free lifetime gym membership."
93
00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:38,718
What's going on?
94
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:39,886
Hey!
95
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,305
What do you guys think
of the changes I made to the gym?
96
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,098
[inhales] You check out my Peloton bike?
97
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,643
You mean that rusted, '80s exercise bike
98
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,269
with the iPod Shuffle taped to it?
99
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:49,771
[audience laughs]
100
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:50,897
Yeah, baby!
101
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,232
Couple things, Terry.
102
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:54,442
One, you spelled "ring" wrong.
103
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:56,003
- [audience laughs]
- [Big Show] Also,
104
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,613
I am absolutely not doing this.
105
00:03:58,696 --> 00:03:59,739
Oh, come on.
106
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:02,664
We came up with another way to raise money
for the Boys and Girls Club.
107
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,041
What do you mean
"we" came up with another way?
108
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:06,996
Well, "we" as in me and...
109
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,581
- [yells] Me!
- [audience laughs]
110
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,252
I brought your wrestling onesie.
111
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,335
[audience laughs]
112
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:16,714
It's called a singlet.
113
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,633
Aw, cute.
114
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:20,236
- [audience laughs]
- Isn't it, though?
115
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:21,468
Hold onto this.
116
00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:23,096
Terry, come here a sec.
117
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:24,847
I'm not doing this.
118
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,349
I am not in wrestling shape.
119
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,810
What if I lose?
You know how embarrassing that would be?
120
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,021
It'd be like that time
I accidentally ate a piñata.
121
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,023
I thought it was a confetti cake.
122
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,107
It wasn't.
123
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,068
- It was cardboard.
- [audience laughs]
124
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,653
I ate a cardboard horse.
125
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:42,031
- [audience laughs]
- Come on, Dad. It's for the kids.
126
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,033
And for this kid.
127
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,077
- [audience laughs]
- And this kid.
128
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,160
[Big Show] Hmm.
129
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,372
Okay, for the kids, I'll do it.
130
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:50,873
[Terry and JJ scream] Yay!
131
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,518
- [audience laughs]
- But for the record,
132
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,742
I'm not wrestling your cousin Todd.
He has a wooden leg.
133
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:55,878
[audience laughs]
134
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:57,964
Todd, you're out! Hop home!
135
00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,090
[audience laughs]
136
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,091
[Terry] All right.
137
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,720
First up, we have Bob from Tampa.
138
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:06,514
Okay, let's just assume
that everyone's from Tampa
139
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:07,724
and signed a consent waiver.
140
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:08,641
I hate paperwork.
141
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:09,600
Oh, hey.
142
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,937
You must be the Big Show's assistant.
Can you send him a message?
143
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,939
Tell him it's his last day on Earth.
144
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,190
[audience laughs]
145
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:17,859
Take care of that.
146
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:18,943
[audience laughs]
147
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,864
You look like a man
that stopped downloading at 40%.
148
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:24,073
[audience laughs]
149
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:26,075
Hey, Big Show,
150
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,037
people will call you the Big Escrow,
151
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,206
'cause you're gonna be stuck
in the same position for 30 days.
152
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,290
[audience laughs]
153
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,503
You're awful confident for a man
who got dropped off by his mom.
154
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:38,587
[audience laughs]
155
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:40,757
- [bell dings]
- [Bob grunts]
156
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,301
[struggling] I gotcha.
This is all part of it.
157
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:44,302
[audience laughs]
158
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:45,887
- [Bob groans]
- [Big Show huffs]
159
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,098
- [Big Show roars]
- [Bob thuds]
160
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,558
[crowd oohs]
161
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:52,393
[dings bell]
162
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:53,353
Winner!
163
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,396
- [crowd applauds and cheers]
- [yells] Yeah, Bob!
164
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:59,484
The Big Escrow
just put you in foreclosure, baby!
165
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,443
[audience laughs]
166
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:03,112
[gruff] Who's next? I'm hungry!
I'm ready to eat!
167
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:04,238
Feed me!
168
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,162
- [audience laughs]
- Next up, Doug from Tampa.
169
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,951
- [Terry] Doug!
- [audience laughs]
170
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,412
Doug! Where you going, Doug?
This is your moment!
171
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,081
[upbeat pop music playing]
172
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,041
[music fades]
173
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,543
Principal Crowley,
I know exactly why we're here.
174
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:21,547
You heard about our relationship
and you want us to serve as co-presidents.
175
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:22,465
We accept.
176
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,259
- [audience laughs]
- No, I don't follow school gossip.
177
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:28,429
I get my fix
with The Real Housewives of Dallas.
178
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,597
What I wouldn't give
179
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,767
to throw a dirty peach martini
in one of those plastic faces.
180
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:33,851
[audience laughs]
181
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:35,770
So, why are we here?
182
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:39,315
I rescheduled your debate
that was canceled due to the sinkhole.
183
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,150
It'll be held after school hours.
184
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,694
- Parents and quiet siblings welcome.
- [audience laughs]
185
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:44,612
No, thank you.
186
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,989
We're running a modern campaign
that avoids conflict
187
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,367
of any sort, so we can't debate.
188
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,827
Well, I can't debate with that.
189
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:51,994
[audience laughs]
190
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,997
JK, I absolutely can. This is mandatory.
191
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,959
- [audience laughs]
- But I don't want to debate my girl.
192
00:06:58,042 --> 00:07:00,378
That'd be like making Barack
debate Michelle.
193
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,505
- Michelle would crush him.
- Michelle would win.
194
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:05,091
- [audience laughs]
- Don't worry, Taylor. I've got a plan.
195
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:06,843
And thanks to Weight Watchers,
196
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,763
I've got seven almonds
to snack on in the break room. Points!
197
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,056
[audience laughs]
198
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,809
- [door closes]
- Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
199
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,103
Instead of disagreeing onstage,
200
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,604
we'll simply compliment each other.
201
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,148
What an amazing idea!
202
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:21,649
How'd I do?
203
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:24,044
- [audience laughs]
- Perfect. We're gonna show the students,
204
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:26,195
the parents, no, the world...
205
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,781
how to have a healthy political discourse.
206
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,031
Sweet.
207
00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:32,535
Then I'll show the whole world
how I can fly.
208
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:36,122
Taylor, for the last time, you can't fly.
209
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:37,665
Yet.
210
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:38,958
[audience laughs]
211
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,127
[upbeat pop music playing]
212
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,254
[music fades]
213
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:46,591
[giggles] And when Jess got her license,
we finally did it. We...
214
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,177
[both]...road tripped
to the Iowa State Fair!
215
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,300
- Tell me every deep-fried thing you ate.
- [scoffs]
216
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:53,890
Butter, Oreos, pickles... [gasps]
217
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,310
a funnel cake in the shape of Bruno Mars.
218
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,395
- [audience laughs]
- [sighs] I'm so jelly!
219
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,105
We also had deep-fried jelly!
220
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,041
- [audience laughs]
- Modern deep fry technology
221
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:05,318
is just getting better and better
every year.
222
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,236
- [audience laughs]
- Oh, and peep this.
223
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,613
For prom, we're all getting
224
00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,324
giant '80s prom dresses!
225
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,034
[squeals] Mine's the bright orange one.
226
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,369
[exhales] Shut the front door!
227
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,813
- [audience laughs]
- Getting '80s prom dresses was my idea!
228
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,627
When I moved, I didn't think
about everything I'd be missing out on.
229
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:25,922
Well, at least you have
amazing weather here,
230
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,007
and you live in a magical paradise
231
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,676
where Ed Hardy hats
never went out of style.
232
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,120
- [both giggle]
- [audience laughs]
233
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:33,595
Wow,
234
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,765
there's a lot of laughter
coming from here.
235
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,808
Are you guys watching Grace and Frankie?
236
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:38,892
[audience laughs]
237
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,604
Tomlin gets all the love,
but don't sleep on Fonda.
238
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,727
- [audience laughs]
- What's up? You need something?
239
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,940
Yes.
240
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,817
It's very important.
241
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,612
I want my face painted like a cat.
242
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,155
Why do you want a cat face?
243
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,157
Because I'm eight.
244
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,035
- [scoffs] This one.
- [audience laughs]
245
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,246
[upbeat pop music plays, then fades]
246
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,289
- Man, isn't this great?
- [exhales]
247
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:01,791
I'm having a blast.
248
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:05,211
I forgot how much fun it was
to throw a full human man out of the ring.
249
00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:07,088
- [audience laughs]
- I feel reborn,
250
00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:10,216
- like a beefy big bearded baby!
- [audience laughs]
251
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,262
I can't believe how many people showed up.
252
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:17,348
There's so many people using the gym
I might finally have to clean it.
253
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:18,683
You don't clean the gym?
254
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:20,351
No, I clean it with Roomba.
255
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:21,477
That's what I call my dog
256
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,997
when I tie wet wipes on his feet
and lead him around the room.
257
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,147
[audience laughs]
258
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,608
[laughs] Hey, check this out.
259
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,860
I posted pictures of you
to the gym's Insta.
260
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,654
Whoo, it is blowing up!
261
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,072
They're leaving comments.
262
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:35,259
"Big Show looks like
when he first started wrestling."
263
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,283
[Terry] Mm-hmm.
264
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,619
"I miss the Big Show."
Look at that one right there.
265
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:41,080
"I'm so proud of my Polly Pocket."
266
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:41,998
Oh... [sighs]
267
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,081
That's my mom.
268
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,292
- [audience laughs]
- Oh?
269
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,960
She's new on Instagram.
270
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:49,672
She writes the word "like"
under each and every one of my posts.
271
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:50,755
[audience laughs]
272
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,443
You know, It's a bummer
this charity event has to end today.
273
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:54,343
It's been so much fun!
274
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,178
Well, maybe it doesn't have to end.
275
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,662
These people want the Big Show,
let's give them the Big Show.
276
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,309
Aw... That's my Polly Pocket!
277
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:02,685
[audience laughs]
278
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,937
- I will never do that again.
- [exhales]
279
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,021
[audience laughs]
280
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,148
[laughing] Call me!
281
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:10,443
If I can sell a haunted house,
I can sell one with too many toilets
282
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:11,966
- and no windows.
- [audience laughs]
283
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,947
Is that another client?
That's like your seventh one today!
284
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:17,366
I know!
This commercial is working too well.
285
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,076
They played it during Jeopardy!
286
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,120
[inhales sharply] Who is I am blowing up?
287
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,473
- It's me. I'm the one who's blowing up.
- [audience laughs]
288
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,937
Hey, Show, we got a big line here.
Wanna hop back in the ring?
289
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,294
Yeah. Look, I'm gonna have to meet you
at Mandy's debate.
290
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,814
I have a line out the door
and I don't wanna let my fans down.
291
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,506
Okay, sweetie, but don't be late.
292
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:33,590
- I won't.
- [kisses]
293
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,635
- Hey, Terry.
- Yeah?
294
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:36,719
We gotta hurry up, man.
295
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,638
- And we need to make it tougher.
- Ooh.
296
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,389
We need to turn out the lights!
297
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,473
[audience laughs]
298
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,601
Yeah, I see you, Lucha Libre.
299
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,478
We gonna see what's under that mask.
300
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:46,729
[audience laughs]
301
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,105
[upbeat pop music playing]
302
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,693
- [music fades]
- Why are we indoors?
303
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:53,819
This is Florida.
304
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,781
- School should also be water parks.
- [audience laughs]
305
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,867
That reminds me, do you want my parkas?
I don't need them.
306
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,577
I got no place to parka them.
307
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,037
- [audience laughs]
- [Alex laughs]
308
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,331
You get me, and I miss you for that.
309
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:09,126
Hey, maybe you will need
those parkas soon.
310
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,921
Look, I was thinking
about what you said
311
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:12,838
on the roof.
312
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:16,425
It's not fair that you're missing prom
and so many other things.
313
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,635
Alex, stop.
314
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:19,845
You know I'm already FOMO-ing
at the mouth.
315
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,765
- [audience laughs]
- Okay, uh... I know this sounds crazy,
316
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:23,932
but...
317
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:27,019
maybe you can live with us
for the rest of high school.
318
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,563
Wait, I don't understand.
How would that even work?
319
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,232
We have an extra room in my house.
320
00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:34,110
My brother finally moved out
for his 30th birthday.
321
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:36,404
- [audience laughs]
- Part of me would love that idea,
322
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:37,655
but wouldn't it be weird?
323
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:41,158
No! You've been sleeping over at my house
since we were seven.
324
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:42,660
You should be home
325
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:44,412
doing all this stuff with us.
326
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,706
Do you want me to ask my mom?
327
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,332
Oh, my God, I love Fran!
328
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:49,416
[chuckles]
329
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,587
Okay. Yeah, ask your mom.
330
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:54,671
[squeals]
331
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,006
[indistinct chatter]
332
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,551
- [audience] Aw...
- [Cassy] Okay.
333
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:01,262
I mean, obviously, I'm gonna shoot
this whole debate. [chuckles]
334
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:05,474
You know, once you're a filmmaker like me,
stuff just looks clearer through a lens.
335
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,558
[audience laughs]
336
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,186
Welcome, children and parents.
337
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,479
- [crowd cheers]
- Not yet.
338
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,106
- [audience laughs]
- Not yet.
339
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,774
First candidates up
340
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,735
are running for Lower School President.
341
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:16,938
- [crowd cheering]
- Not yet.
342
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,154
- [audience laughs]
- Not yet.
343
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,947
Reminder, no gum allowed.
344
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,950
It's gross, and why chew something
you have to remove from your mouth
345
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,593
- with your fingers?
- [audience laughs]
346
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:26,078
Glad I got that off my chest.
347
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:29,457
[chuckles] Okay, please welcome
Taylor Swift and Mandy Wight!
348
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,251
This is your time, people.
349
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,044
- [audience laughs]
- [crowd applauds]
350
00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:41,761
First question to Mandy:
What are your plans for Spirit Days?
351
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:45,723
I'll use the Spirit Day budget
to take the school picture with a drone.
352
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:47,266
That way, we don't leave anyone out.
353
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,786
- I've got your back, Janitor Lance.
- [audience laughs]
354
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,145
Your rebuttal, Taylor?
355
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,313
Don't have one.
356
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,733
I think that's a great plan.
Janitor Lance knows what's up.
357
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,401
[crowd applauds softly]
358
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,237
- Wow, riveting start.
- [audience laughs]
359
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:03,449
My Spirit Day plan
is to spell "Garvey Prep" in gasoline
360
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:04,700
in front of the school
361
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,951
and light it on fire.
362
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:09,997
That way it'll be burned into the grass,
and it will be Spirit Day every day.
363
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,291
- [audience laughs]
- Mandy, do you have a rebuttal?
364
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:16,045
This should be easy because Taylor
is basically just pitching arson.
365
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:19,006
- [audience laughs]
- I think that idea is straight fire.
366
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,968
Okay, this is boring.
367
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,469
[audience laughs]
368
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,223
Okay, next question.
How do both of you plan...
369
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,351
Sorry. Excuse me,
If I could slide in here... Oh...
370
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:33,020
Sorry about your phone.
[stammers] I'll buy you a new one, sir.
371
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:34,438
- [audience laughs]
- Pardon me.
372
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,607
- [chairs thudding]
- Oh. Hi. Nice bag.
373
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,317
- [audience laughs]
- All right. [sighs]
374
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,612
- Sorry, [strained] excuse me. Thank you.
- [audience laughs]
375
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,864
- [exhales deeply]
- Oh!
376
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,428
- [audience laughs]
- What did I miss?
377
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,577
So far,
it's been a very boring, polite debate.
378
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,021
- [Big Show] Mm.
- [Crowley scoffs]
379
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,372
So much agreeing.
380
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:54,583
This is like when my sister
dragged me to the Unitarian church.
381
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,147
- [audience laughs]
- Let's skip to closing statements. Taylor.
382
00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:58,838
In closing,
383
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,590
I'd like to announce
a new cafeteria initiative.
384
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,968
[hushed] Uh, Taylor,
we didn't discuss this.
385
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,636
I know. I just came up with it.
386
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,222
We should replace the salad bar
387
00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:10,182
in the cafeteria with a candy bar.
388
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,306
- [audience laughs]
- Instead of lettuce, Twizzlers.
389
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,311
Instead of carrots, M&Ms.
390
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:17,857
And instead of tomatoes,
[shouting] full size Snickers!
391
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:18,940
[crowd cheering]
392
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:24,738
Mandy, do you agree with this plan?
393
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:29,869
Uh... You know, that sounds fun,
though it might be a little unhealthy.
394
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:30,952
Thank you, Mandy.
395
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,370
Wait, what?
396
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,220
[stammers] Are you shooting down my idea?
397
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,248
[crowd oohs]
398
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:36,959
Ooh... Drama.
399
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,837
Someone make me
a dirty peach martini, stat.
400
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,065
- [audience laughs]
- You're embarrassing me in public.
401
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:44,383
- Taylor, I didn't mean to.
- Okay, then take it back.
402
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:45,759
I... [sighs]
403
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:48,804
I can't.
404
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,723
The job of Lower School President
405
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:51,966
is to consider the well-being
406
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,267
of all the students,
407
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:55,769
and that is exactly what I intend to do.
408
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,396
[crowd cheers and applauds]
409
00:14:59,106 --> 00:14:59,940
Wow.
410
00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:02,484
I guess if you're not with me,
then I'm not with you.
411
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,105
Taylor, what are you saying?
412
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,863
[stammers] I'm saying we're breaking up.
413
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,532
[Crowley] Taylor Swift,
414
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,242
not the time or place.
415
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,120
And we're never ever
getting back together.
416
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,330
[crowd gasps]
417
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,413
Wow.
418
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,167
He really stuck the landing.
419
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,460
[audience laughs]
420
00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:20,586
[mellow music playing]
421
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:22,922
[music fades]
422
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,965
Hey, JJ, can you hand me the...
Oh, God,
423
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,276
- your face!
- [audience laughs]
424
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,426
It's a cat face.
425
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:29,845
- Where?
- [audience laughs]
426
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:34,266
I figured I have to learn
how to do my own face painting, since...
427
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:38,228
my friend who usually does it
is moving away.
428
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:41,440
Oh. Why is your friend moving away?
429
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,651
She thinks her life is better
430
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:44,734
with her other friends,
431
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,695
but I really need her here.
432
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:50,616
Mom, would you make me one of your videos
to convince her to stay?
433
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,451
Okay, well, first of all, they're films.
434
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:53,577
[audience laughs]
435
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:55,537
And secondly,
436
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,373
I don't think they work like that.
437
00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:01,418
But they're so awesome!
I really think it could make a difference.
438
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,004
It is kinda the purpose of art, isn't it?
439
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,607
- [audience laughs]
- Okay, let's do it.
440
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:06,924
- [chuckles]
- Yay!
441
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,009
So, I can't pay you in cash,
442
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,553
but I can give you coupons
for hugs and kisses.
443
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,973
Aw. Can I get one of those hugs and kisses
right now?
444
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,558
Let's shoot a couple of pages
and see how it goes.
445
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,642
[audience laughs]
446
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:19,395
[upbeat pop music playing]
447
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:21,981
[music fades]
448
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:24,900
- Hey.
- Hey.
449
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,528
Oh. What's all this? Wait.
450
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:32,700
Are you going through all your ideas
for merchandise the WWE rejected again?
451
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:33,784
- [audience laughs]
- No.
452
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:36,829
This is merchandise
the WWE wouldn't let me sell
453
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:38,664
because they didn't see my vision.
454
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,666
- [audience laughs]
- Oh, yes, your vision.
455
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:41,875
Okay. [clear throat]
456
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,253
[clicks tongue] My hair dryer,
the Big Blow.
457
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,504
[audience laughs]
458
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:49,133
My socks with my face on it, the Big Toe.
459
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,426
[audience laughs]
460
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,636
Okay, let's not forget...
461
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:55,014
my night light,
462
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,474
- the Big Glow.
- [audience laughs]
463
00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,019
You know, I haven't seen you this happy
since you realized
464
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,542
there was a calculator
on your phone.
465
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:02,813
So convenient.
466
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:03,896
[audience laughs]
467
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,194
- Hey, guys. Do you have a minute?
- [Cassy] Hey.
468
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,986
Oh... Are we going through the merch
469
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:10,320
that the WWE rejected?
470
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,656
- Didn't see my vision.
- [audience laughs]
471
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:16,577
I was hoping I could talk to you guys
about something Alex had brought up.
472
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,258
[breathless] The election results are in!
473
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,007
Can someone look at the email?
I can't look!
474
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,874
Okay. Uh... Let's see.
475
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:25,020
- "This year's Lower School President..."
- No, don't tell me. I don't wanna know.
476
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,628
- Okay.
- No, no, no! Tell me!
477
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,898
- "This year's president is..."
- No, no, no, don't do it!
478
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:29,923
[audience laughs]
479
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:30,841
Okay.
480
00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:33,218
- You just read it, but don't tell me.
- [audience laughs]
481
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,014
Oh, my God! What does it say?
482
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:38,223
The winner is...
483
00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:39,808
- Oh!
- Sorry!
484
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:40,892
[audience laughs]
485
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:42,853
[frantic] Oh, my God, I won!
486
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,188
Yay!
487
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:45,773
- I'm so proud of you!
- Oh, my gosh!
488
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:46,857
Wow! This is...
489
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,776
This is great.
490
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,027
Really great.
491
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,322
[stammers] I'm gonna go celebrate upstairs
by myself.
492
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,481
Yeah, I'm gonna go check on her.
493
00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:00,162
Wait, you wanted to talk to us?
494
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:02,645
Oh, I can do it later.
I should go with you to talk to Mandy.
495
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,333
[mellow music playing]
496
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,592
Hey, Madam President.
497
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,343
How you doing?
498
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:18,680
He broke up with me
in front of the whole school.
499
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,390
I'm so embarrassed.
500
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,642
No, honey, don't be.
501
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,269
The most important thing
is that you stood up for yourself,
502
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,396
and you didn't make yourself small
for somebody.
503
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,690
You should have seen yourself
at that debate.
504
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:29,959
- You didn't back down.
- Nope.
505
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:31,652
You were fierce and inspirational.
506
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:33,862
That does make me feel better.
507
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:35,114
I'm almost ready
508
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,616
to change into my Kerry Washington
celebratory pantsuit.
509
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:39,243
- [audience laughs]
- The only scandal
510
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:40,828
is how stylish I look.
511
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,454
- Ooh...
- Good!
512
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,206
You're Lower School President.
513
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,499
I'm so proud of you.
514
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,000
You should be proud, too.
515
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:47,918
I am.
516
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:50,480
This whole Taylor thing made me forget
what I've always wanted.
517
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:55,384
Yep, you have wanted to be president
way before you ever met Mr. Taylor Swift.
518
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,151
- Still sounds weird.
- [audience laughs]
519
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:58,719
You know what?
520
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,681
I'm not gonna stop at president.
521
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,852
Next year,
I am going to run for School Ambassador.
522
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:07,020
They get to represent the school
in Tallahassee.
523
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,648
Our current ambassador
is Kevin David Perry,
524
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,942
and I can crush him.
525
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,694
His name is Kevin David?
526
00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:15,320
Yeah, but he goes by KD.
527
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:17,447
Wait, KD Perry?
528
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,616
- [audience laughs]
- Excuse me one second.
529
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:21,160
[screams]
530
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,244
[audience laughs]
531
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,454
[exhales] That was some good work
up there.
532
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,331
Just following your lead.
533
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:30,002
[chuckles] You know, Mandy is so lucky
to have her big sister here.
534
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,461
In fact, we all are.
535
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:33,629
Uh...
536
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,382
- Thanks.
- Oh!
537
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:38,069
Hey, since you're here,
can you check something out for me?
538
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:41,805
JJ asked me to make a film for her friend
who's thinking of moving.
539
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,141
- She did?
- Yeah.
540
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,227
Why don't you check it out?
I think you might like it.
541
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:48,187
[clicks]
542
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,039
- [soft music plays]
- Since you're going away,
543
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,773
I'll miss all the big events in your life,
544
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,318
so I made you a video
that you can play
545
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:55,569
during all those times.
546
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,028
[blows horn]
547
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:59,281
Happy 21st birthday!
548
00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:02,159
I'm so jealous you get to gamble
in every state.
549
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:04,021
- [audience laughs]
- [blows horn]
550
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:05,412
Wow!
551
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,289
You graduated from Harvard!
552
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:08,415
I can't believe
553
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:10,834
- you majored in robot time travel.
- [audience laughs]
554
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:14,254
Lady, I love your house on Mars.
555
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,131
Or as you say,
556
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,095
- "Beep boop bop beep beep!"
- [audience laughs]
557
00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:22,471
Congratulations on the birth
of your new child, JJ Junior!
558
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,515
I'm gonna call her "Triple J"!
559
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,362
[Cassy on tape] Anything else
you wanna say?
560
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:29,895
I miss you already.
561
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:32,773
Thank you for showing this to me.
562
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:34,399
Sure.
563
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,611
[takes breath] But, please,
do not show this to anyone else, okay?
564
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:38,934
I mean, it's not the final cut.
565
00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:40,822
As soon as I score it
with some Beatles songs,
566
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,032
this baby's gonna pop.
567
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:43,158
[audience laughs]
568
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,243
[upbeat music playing]
569
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:47,703
- [music fades]
- Wow!
570
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:49,122
This crowd looks very put together
571
00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:51,416
for a mid-afternoon,
non-sanctioned wrestling event.
572
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,340
- [audience laughs]
- This is so great for Dad.
573
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:54,962
I've never seen him happier.
574
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,756
And I have seen him ride a Clydesdale
at Busch Gardens.
575
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,007
[audience laughs]
576
00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:01,802
I can't believe
this is the last day. [sighs]
577
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,762
He's really gonna miss this.
578
00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:05,471
- [phone chimes]
- Oh.
579
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:07,891
- Another client?
- Yeah, I'm getting so many people
580
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:11,019
wanting to talk to me,
they're now just sliding into my DMs.
581
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,896
This is how Channing Tatum must feel.
582
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,791
- [audience laughs]
- It's so great you're busy.
583
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:17,734
Honestly, it's a little stressful.
It's a lot to juggle.
584
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,654
Girl, just focus on the work
for right now.
585
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,406
Let Dad handle the home stuff.
586
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:23,656
He's retired.
587
00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:26,159
It's time for the women
in our house to shine.
588
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:29,037
No, the women in America to shine.
589
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,581
Wow, I do sound presidential.
590
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:32,749
[audience laughs]
591
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:36,795
Where's Alex?
592
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:39,006
She went home.
Her flight left an hour ago.
593
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:43,302
Oh. And will you be seeing Alex
or her stupid home anytime soon?
594
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:45,721
I'm not going back to Minnesota, JJers.
595
00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:48,181
This is my home. You're my home.
596
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:51,101
- [audience] Aw...
- But aren't you worried about your prom
597
00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:53,603
where you dress up in clothes
from the 1880s?
598
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:56,398
- I think you mean 1980s.
- [JJ] Eh.
599
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,150
1880s, 1980s...
600
00:21:58,233 --> 00:22:00,319
All sounds the same to me
'cause I'm so young.
601
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,403
[audience laughs]
602
00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:04,239
It's more important to me
that I don't miss any big events with you.
603
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,533
Or Mandy, or Cass, or Dad.
604
00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:08,410
There's nowhere else I wanna be.
605
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:14,541
The video worked!
606
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:15,624
[Cassy exhales]
607
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:16,960
It's a film, sweetie.
608
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,253
[audience laughs]
609
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:22,215
Ladies and gentlemen!
610
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:23,717
[crowd applauds]
611
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,010
Put your hands together
612
00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:26,762
and make it loud,
613
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:29,514
because we are live streaming this!
Come on, make it loud!
614
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:30,766
[crowd cheers]
615
00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:31,849
And here he is,
616
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:34,269
for his final match,
617
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,021
The Big Show!
618
00:22:36,104 --> 00:22:37,874
- [steam hisses]
- ["The Big Show" theme plays]
619
00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:39,775
♪ It's The Big Show ♪
620
00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:40,984
[continued cheering]
621
00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:45,151
[gruff yelling] Yeah!
That's what I'm talking about!
622
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:48,784
This is the outfit
he always wanted to wear,
623
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:51,328
but the WWE never let him because they...
624
00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:53,830
- [audience laughs]
- [all together] Didn't see his vision.
625
00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:55,290
[roars]
626
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,209
[Cassy] Go, baby!
627
00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:00,796
Okay, coming into the ring
are two big dudes
628
00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:02,756
whose names I was too scared to ask for.
629
00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:03,924
[audience laughs]
630
00:23:04,007 --> 00:23:05,258
- [bell dinging]
- [crowd boos]
631
00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:06,968
- [floor rattling]
- [arm thudding]
632
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,930
Oh, no! Oh, no! Show's in trouble!
633
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:12,015
Oh no! He's fighting back!
634
00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:13,659
- Oh, he's fighting back!
- [crowd yells]
635
00:23:13,683 --> 00:23:14,683
[head thuds]
636
00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:16,645
[Terry] There he goes! He's coming back!
637
00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:17,813
[Big Show grunts]
638
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:19,856
There he is! Oh, he's gonna do the move!
639
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,566
- The chokeslam!
- [body thuds]
640
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:23,610
- [crowd cheering]
- [screaming] Whoo!
641
00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:28,116
- [yelling] That's my dad! Yeah!
- [Cassy laughs]
642
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:29,616
[screams]
643
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:32,953
Show, we love you!
644
00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:34,036
I love you!
645
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,122
We miss you, man!
646
00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:37,958
I don't know you, so I don't miss you,
but thanks!
647
00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:40,210
- [audience laughs]
- Show, will you autograph my back?
648
00:23:41,002 --> 00:23:42,796
No, but thank you regardless!
649
00:23:42,879 --> 00:23:45,149
- [audience laughs]
- Show, will you come back to wrestling?
650
00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:46,258
[crowd chanting] Come back!
651
00:23:46,341 --> 00:23:48,802
Come back! Come back! Come back!
652
00:23:48,885 --> 00:23:51,721
- Come back! Come back!
- You know what? Yeah!
653
00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:54,057
I'm gonna tell you
before I tell anyone else!
654
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,935
The Big Show is going back to the WWE!
655
00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:58,562
The Big Show is back, baby!
656
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:00,480
- [crowd cheers]
- [Big Show] Yeah!
657
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:03,441
Hey!
658
00:24:03,650 --> 00:24:06,445
Did you just say
you're going back to the WWE?
659
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:09,448
Good point, it is loud in here.
I need to get it on the livestream.
660
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:12,742
All right, you heard me!
661
00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:15,745
- The Big Show's back, baby! Whoo!
- [continued cheering]
662
00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:21,672
So, what do you think? Celebrate?
What do you say we go get a party sub?
663
00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:26,047
Or party pizza. I mean, you know what?
Any kind of party food's good for me.
664
00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:28,925
Read the room, bruh.
665
00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:32,679
- [audience laughs]
- Wait, you guys did not just love that?
666
00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:36,183
I mean, if you didn't like it,
just tell me.
667
00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:39,102
I mean, you can say something.
668
00:24:40,353 --> 00:24:43,273
Say something 'cause I can hear
my own heartbeat and it's freaking me out.
669
00:24:43,356 --> 00:24:44,691
[audience laughs]
670
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,195
[mellow closing credits playing]
671
00:25:19,392 --> 00:25:20,560
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