All language subtitles for Love.On.The.Sidelines.2016 Engels !

THEY RAN OUT OF
BUFFALO WINGS.

I KNOW,
IT'S A TRAGEDY.

GUESS WE AREN'T
THE ONLY ONES

WHO'VE DISCOVERED
THE FREE BUFFET HERE.

BEING BROKE REALLY
MAKES ME FEEL CHEAP.

YOU'RE NOT CHEAP,
YOU'RE JUST...

FRUGAL?

"CHEAP," "FRUGAL,"
IT'S ALL THE SAME.

BROKE IS BROKE.

YOU'RE GOING TO
FIND ANOTHER JOB.

I DON'T KNOW,

I SHOULD'VE STUDIED
BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION

OR COMPUTER SCIENCE,

NOT ART AND DESIGN.

DID YOU EVER HEAR BACK
FROM THOSE VERA WANG PEOPLE?

SORRY.

ANOTHER REJECTION.

SO FAR, I'VE BEEN REJECTED

BY EVERY DESIGN HOUSE
I CAN THINK OF.

MAYBE I'M JUST NOT
MEANT TO BE A DESIGNER.

SERIOUSLY, YOU SHOWED THEM
ALL YOUR SKETCHES?

EVEN THE WEDDING
DRESS DESIGN?

THAT'S CRAZY.

ANY DESIGNER WOULD BE
LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.

MAYBE,

BUT, SOMEHOW, I DON'T THINK
THEY'RE UP NIGHTS

WORRIED ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE ME,

BUT I AM UP NIGHTS

WORRIED ABOUT HOW
I'M GOING TO PAY MY RENT.

MY SIX-MONTH NEST EGG
IS ALMOST EMPTY.

LOOK, HOW MANY BLENDERS
DO SHAWN AND I REALLY NEED?

I CAN RETURN
SOME OF THE GIFTS

AND HELP YOU OUT.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

I COULD NEVER TAKE
WEDDING MONEY.

IT WOULD JUST BE
UNTIL YOU GOT YOUR BREAK.

I APPRECIATE
THE GESTURE,

I REALLY DO,

BUT YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL
ABOUT WEDDINGS.

THEY'RE SACRED.

SO, WHAT'S PLAN B, THEN?

ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE HOME?

AS MUCH AS I LOVE MY PARENTS,
THAT IS NOT AN OPTION.

WHEN I LEFT HOME,

I VOWED I WOULD
NEVER USE THEM

AS A SAFETY NET.

SO, I AM WORKING ON PLAN C.

WHICH IS...?

TAKE THE FIRST JOB I CAN FIND.

DON'T LAUGH.
I EVEN APPLIED HERE.

BUT YOU HATE SPORTS...

AND YOU HATE JOCKS MORE.

I KNOW,
BUT I HATE STARVING MORE.

NO!

EXCUSE ME, CAN WE GET
A TO-GO BOX?

FOR THIS...

THAT WOULD BE GREAT, THANK YOU.

IT'S A DISASTER,

A TOTAL DISASTER.

HONEY, WHAT HAPPENED?

IT'S HOLLAND.

DID SOMEBODY
NUKE HOLLAND?

NO. WHAT?
DIDN'T YOU SEE?

DANNY HOLLAND?

ONLY THE GREATEST
QUARTERBACK IN THE LEAGUE.

HE'S DOWN.

WHAT'S HE GOT TO
BE DEPRESSED ABOUT?

HE'S A FOOTBALL PLAYER.

HE WAS SACKED BY
THAT BIG MOOSE, BUDDY JOHNSON.

OH, SO HE WAS FIRED?

NO, HE WASN'T FIRED.

HE WAS INJURED.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT THIS MEANS?

SEVEN YEARS,
3,346 COMPLETED PASSES,

243 TOUCHDOWN PASSES,

AND ONLY 62 INTERCEPTIONS.

THEN THERE'S LAST YEAR'S MVP!

DID I TELL YOU

THAT HE WANTS TO HAVE
OUR WEDDING CAKE

IN THE SHAPE OF A FOOTBALL?

AND YOU'RE STILL MARRYING HIM?

THAT IS LOVE.

HAS ANYONE SEEN ELLIOT?

ELLIOT!

HE'S RIGHT HERE.

HERE I AM.

I'VE BEEN TWEETING
ABOUT YOUR CONDITION.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW
MY CONDITION.

WELL, I CAN
TELL YOU THIS...

THAT'S ONE
BAD-LOOKING ANKLE.

I DON'T NEED TO HEAR THAT.

IT'S PROBABLY NOT

AS BAD AS IT LOOKS.

HONESTLY.

HOW BAD IS IT?

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M MR. HOLLAND'S
PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

WHAT'S THE PROGNOSIS?

JUST IGNORE HIM.

GOOD NEWS IS,

YOU WON'T REQUIRE SURGERY.

THAT'S GREAT NEWS!

WELL, HOW LONG
AM I GOING TO BE OUT?

IT'S AN INVERSION
SPRAIN,

SO PROBABLY
SIX TO EIGHT WEEKS.

WHAT? SIX...

FOR A SPRAIN?

LET'S TAKE IT
ONE WEEK AT A TIME.

SO, WHAT TIME DOES
THIS ONE GET HERE?

ANY MINUTE.

I HOPE I LIKE HER.

SHE SOUNDED NORMAL
ON THE PHONE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
IT'S BEEN SO HARD

TO FIND A NEW ROOMMATE.

MAYBE 'CAUSE I'M SUCH
A TOUGH ACT TO FOLLOW.

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT,

I'M SUPER LATE
FOR WORK ALREADY.

I'VE GOT TO GO.

BUT... GOOD LUCK.

HI.

HI.

I'M GINA,
THE SOON-TO-BE EX-ROOMMATE.

OH, YOU MUST BE LAUREL.
I'M PATTY.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

PLEASE, COME IN.

BYE.

UNFORTUNATELY I'VE ONLY
GOT 10 MINUTES,

SO I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
IF I JUST CUT TO THE CHASE?

THEN I GUESS YOU
WON'T WANT COFFEE.

HERE ARE MY TAX RETURNS
FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS.

I'VE GOT SIX MONTHS
WORTH OF BANK STATEMENTS,

MY MEDICAL RECORDS,

AND SEVERAL REFERENCES
FROM FORMER ROOMMATES.

I DON'T SMOKE, DRINK,
OR DO DRUGS.

I HAVE NO PETS, NO TEDDY BEAR,

OR OTHER ANNOYING
COLLECTIONS,

NO BOYFRIEND,

AND PRETTY MUCH NO LIFE
BECAUSE I WORK ALL THE TIME,

WHICH MEANS
I'M THE PERFECT ROOMMATE

AND YOU'LL HARDLY
EVER SEE ME.

WOW.

WHAT KIND OF WORK DO YOU DO?

I'M A PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

IT SOUNDS PRETTY DEMANDING.

IT CAN BE,

BUT IT'S ALSO THE BEST JOB
I'VE EVER HAD.

THE PAY ISN'T BAD,

BUT THE PERKS
ARE AMAZING.

THE REASON I'M IN
SUCH A RUSH RIGHT NOW

IS BECAUSE I'M HEADED TO PARIS
WITH MY BOSS IN 30 MINUTES.

30 MINUTES?

YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT
TO CHECK-IN ON TIME.

IT'S A PRIVATE JET.
THERE IS NO CHECK-IN.

THIS IS A LETTER
FROM THE AGENCY

THAT PLACED ME
AT MY CURRENT JOB.

UNFORTUNATELY, YOU CAN'T
CONTACT MY EMPLOYER DIRECTLY

BECAUSE I SIGNED
A CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT,

SO I CAN'T TELL YOU
WHO I WORK FOR,

BUT YOU CAN
CALL THE AGENCY

FOR A REFERENCE.

SO... WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK I'VE GOT
A NEW ROOMMATE.

AND I THINK I WANT YOUR LIFE.

IT IS NOT ALWAYS
THIS GLAMOROUS,

BUT IT DEFINITELY
HAS ITS MOMENTS.

BY THE WAY,
WHAT DO YOU DO?

I'M CURRENTLY BETWEEN JOBS,

BUT WILLING TO DO
ALMOST ANYTHING.

THEN YOU'D BE PERFECT
AS A PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

WHY DON'T YOU CALL TRINA

AT THE AMSTERDAM
PLACEMENT AGENCY

AND TELL HER I RECOMMENDED YOU.

THAT'S SO GENEROUS OF YOU.

I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO THANK YOU.

WITH THE ATTRITION RATE
IN THIS FIELD,

TRINA'S THE ONE
WHO WILL BE THANKING ME.

SO, THE DOC
HAS A PHYSICAL THERAPIST

ALREADY LINED UP FOR YOU.

HE'S GOING TO WORK
AROUND YOUR SCHEDULE.

NOW, DON'T FORGET,

YOU STILL HAVE PROMOS
COMING UP FOR YOUR BOOK,

AND THEN THERE'S THE, UH,
THE WHEATIES THING.

OH, AND OF COURSE
THE, UH, PHOTO SHOOT.

THAT IS GONNA BE
REALLY GOOD FOR YOU.

I'M SURPRISED YOUR INJURY
ISN'T SCARING ANYONE OFF.

WHY WOULD IT?

I'M STILL DANNY HOLLAND, YEAH?

YEAH, AND BELIEVE ME,
THEY ARE PAYING FOR THAT.

ELLIOT, YOU WANT TO

GIVE US A MINUTE?

NICK, HE'S GOT TO GO.

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PUT UP
WITH HIM FOR THIS LONG.

HEY, YOU DON'T, UM,

YOU DON'T THINK

THAT THERE'S ANY TRUTH
TO WHAT HE'S SAYING, DO YOU?

WHAT? NO!

OF COURSE NOT!

ELLIOT'S AN IDIOT.

DANNY, LOOK, YOU'RE GOING TO
BACK ON YOUR FEET

IN NO TIME, ALL RIGHT?

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
SIX WEEKS IS NOTHING.

IT'S SIX MISSED GAMES.

STOP WORRYING AND START ICING.

I SEE PATTY RECOMMENDED YOU.

UH-HUH.

HMM, THAT'S AS GOOD
A RECOMMENDATION

AS YOU CAN GET IN THIS BUSINESS.

SHE'S GOT ONE OF
THE BEST REPUTATIONS IN TOWN.

I EVEN HAVE
A WAITING LIST

OF CLIENTS THAT WANT
TO HIRE HER.

SHE'S GOING TO BE
MY NEW ROOMMATE.

FABULOUS.

SHE CAN TEACH YOU
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW...

IF WE HIRE YOU.

SO, YOU GRADUATED

FROM THE SAN FRANCISCO
SCHOOL OF DESIGN.

HAVE YOU HAD ANY LUCK WITH THAT?

NOT YET,

BUT I AM BEING REALISTIC

AND LOOKING FOR
A FULL-TIME JOB NOW.

HMM.

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
OR CHARGED WITH A FELONY,

HAVE YOU?

NOPE.

ONE LAST QUESTION.

IF TMZ APPROACHED YOU
AND OFFERED YOU $50,000

FOR A PHOTO OF YOUR EMPLOYER

WITH NO MAKE-UP,

WOULD YOU TAKE IT?

THAT'S NOT ONLY
A BREACH OF CONTRACT,

THAT'S A BREACH
OF MY MIDWESTERN VALUES.

GREAT ANSWER.

SO, YOU HAVE A JOB FOR ME?

THE ONLY OPENING
I HAVE RIGHT NOW

IS WITH
A VERY TEMPERAMENTAL CHEF,

BUT SHE JUST WENT AFTER
HER LAST ASSISTANT

WITH A POTATO PEELER,

AND, FRANKLY,

YOU DON'T HAVE THE EXPERIENCE
TO HANDLE SOMEONE LIKE HER.

IF YOU DON'T THINK
SHE'D COME AFTER ME

WITH A MEAT CLEAVER,

I'D TRY IT.

I REALLY NEED A JOB.

SORRY, BUT I DON'T CARRY
THAT MUCH LIABILITY INSURANCE.

THANK YOU.

YEAH, YEAH, JUST, UH,

CALL THE AMSTERDAM
PLACEMENT AGENCY

AND FIND
ANOTHER ASSISTANT FOR DANNY.

WHAT HAPPENED
TO ELLIOT?

LET'S JUST SAY
HE WASN'T VERY HELPFUL.

OH, AND I NEED
SOMEONE HERE BY TOMORROW.

HE'S GOT A FULL DAY
OF APPEARANCES.

TOMORROW?

I DON'T THINK I HAVE
ANYONE AVAILABLE THAT QUICKLY.

I KNOW THAT DANNY ALWAYS
USES MALE ASSISTANTS,

BUT I DO HAVE SOMEONE AVAILABLE
IF HE DOESN'T OBJECT TO A WOMAN.

MAKING SUCH A BIG
DEAL OUT OF THIS?

LET ME FIND OUT.

IT'S JUST
AN ANKLE INJURY...

WHAT?

WHAT!

OH!

ABOUT THAT ASSISTANT
POSITION FOR DANNY,

IT'S GOING TO BE
TOUGHER THAN WE THOUGHT.

JUST GET ANYONE, ALL RIGHT?

JUST MAKE SURE
THAT THEY'RE THERE

FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING.

WHO ARE YOU?

LAUREL WELK.

I'M YOUR NEW PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

IT'S REALLY NICE
TO MEET YOU...

OKAY, YOU CAN'T BE
MY NEW ASSISTANT.

THE AMSTERDAM PLACEMENT
AGENCY SENT ME.

OH.

OKAY, UNLESS THIS IS
A PRACTICAL JOKE...

OKAY, SOMEONE MESSED UP.

I'M A COLLEGE GRADUATE.

A COLLEGE GRADUATE.

AM I SUPPOSED TO BE
IMPRESSED BY THAT?

WITH HONORS.

THEN WHY AREN'T YOU

GETTING THIS?

I CAN'T HAVE A FEMALE ASSISTANT.

EVEN THOUGH
THAT'S BLATANTLY CHAUVINISTIC,

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY NOT.

I'M A FOOTBALL PLAYER.

I'M USED TO BEING
AROUND A LOT OF GUYS.

I MAY WANT TO WALK AROUND
IN MY UNDERWEAR IF I WANTED TO.

I DON'T WANT TO SAY EXCUSE ME
WHEN I BELCH.

AND CAN YOU SPOT ME
150 POUNDS?

I DON'T THINK SO.

THAT'S YOUR CRITERIA
FOR AN ASSISTANT?

IT'S SOME OF IT, YEAH.

WELL, MAYBE I'M NOT
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED,

BUT WHY NOT GIVE ME A CHANCE?

YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE
ALLOWED IN THE LOCKER ROOM.

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN
NEED SOMEONE IN THERE?

I'M GUESSING YOU DON'T
NEED HELP TAKING A SHOWER

OR GETTING DRESSED.

YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED SOMEONE
TO HELP YOU AROUND,

WHAT WITH THE CRUTCHES...

YEAH, AND I WAS EXPECTING
THAT SOMEONE TO BE A GUY.

OKAY, LOOK,
THAT'S MY CAR,

AND I HAVE
A REALLY BUSY DAY, SO...

WHICH IS WHY YOU NEED ME...

I APPRECIATE YOUR ENTHUSIASM,

BUT IT REALLY
IS NOT GOING TO WORK.

THE BOTTOM LINE IS
I REALLY NEED THIS JOB...

WHICH MEANS

I WILL PUT MY HEART
AND SOUL INTO IT,

AND YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY.

YOU'RE NOT THE TYPE
THAT CRIES EASILY,

ARE YOU?

ONLY WHEN I WATCH THE NOTEBOOK.

OKAY, WE'LL GIVE THIS A SHOT,

BUT...

JUST WHILE
I'M SIDELINED.

SIDELINED?

NOT PLAYING.
INJURED.

RIGHT.

DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT FOOTBALL?

LET'S JUST SAY I'M LEARNING.

OKAY.

WELL, THEN LET'S JUST SAY
THAT THIS IS ON A TRIAL BASIS,

BUT AS SOON AS I AM
CLEARED TO PLAY,

I'M SORRY,

I'M GOING BACK
TO BEING A CHAUVINIST,

AND I'M GOING TO HIRE A GUY.

UNDERSTOOD.

AND YOU WON'T REGRET THIS.

I PROMISE.

HMM.

LET'S GET YOU
TO THE CAR.

THANKS, PAL.

MR. HOLLAND, I GOT
THAT INFORMATION YOU WANTED.

WILLIAMS INDUSTRIES
IS SELLING AT 150 A SHARE.

YEAH, I WASN'T ASKING YOU

ABOUT THE STOCK MARKET.

WILLIAMS IS A BACKUP RECEIVER,

AND, UH, THERE WAS TALK
OF A MID-SEASON TRADE.

OH.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST, UM,
GO GET ME A BOTTLE OF WATER?

RIGHT AWAY.

HEY, PAL.

SMILE, SMILE.
YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELF.

YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELF.

SOMEONE, GET RID
OF THOSE CRUTCHES.

HUNTER, HOLD HIM UP.

SOMEBODY, GET A BOARD,
A STOOL, ANYTHING.

JUST PROP HIM UP.

HEY, MAN, I'M NOT
A PIECE OF MEAT, ALL RIGHT?

MY APOLOGIES.

GOOD.

THIS IS JUST
TEMPORARY, BY THE WAY.

OKAY, HERE WE GO.

WELL, NOW YOU'RE JUST
KIND OF TOWERING OVER HIM.

I COULD SCRUNCH DOWN.

WELL, THEN WE'D BE LOOKING
AT YOUR CHEST, NOT YOUR FACE.

YOU KNOW WHAT,
LET'S TAKE FIVE MINUTES,

WE'LL FIGURE THIS OUT.

FIVE MINUTES.

JUST GOING TO CHANGE
SOME LIGHTS HERE.

I HAVE
YOUR LUNCH FOR YOU.

YEAH, SORRY, ROOKIE,
THE CLOCK RAN OUT.

I ALREADY ATE.

OKAY,

LET'S TRY SOME
WITH THE JERSEY.

UH, YOU!

GO TO THE BACK,

GET DANNY'S JERSEY
FROM THE RACK, PLEASE, QUICKLY.

YEAH, THAT'S NOT MINE.

THAT'S MANNING'S.

THIS IS
THE ONE YOU WANT.

YEAH.

PATTY,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THAT'S MY BOSS WHO WAS
LEANING UP AGAINST YOUR BOSS.

I'D HEARD YOU GOT A JOB,

BUT TRINA DIDN'T TELL ME
IT WAS WITH DANNY HOLLAND.

YOUR BOSS IS THE MODEL?

I JUST GOT BACK
FROM A LONG LUNCH.

SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT
WHEN I EAT IN FRONT OF HER,

SO I DUCKED OUT FOR A BURGER.

SHE DOESN'T MIND
YOU NOT BEING HERE?

WELL, WE'RE STILL
IN THE TRIAL PHASE.

WOW.

I'M NOT SURE I'M GOING TO LAST
EVEN TWO DAYS.

HEY! I'M CAUGHT.
SOMEBODY, HELP!

GUYS, PLEASE,

COULD SOMEONE DO SOMETHING,
LIKE, RIGHT NOW? COME ON!

I THINK THAT I COULD HELP.

PLEASE.

MAYBE YOU
BETTER NOT.

YOU CAN'T AFFORD ANOTHER FUMBLE.

NO, I GOT THIS.

I THINK I CAN FIX THIS.

JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE. NICE.

WILL THIS WORK?

THAT'S REALLY AMAZING.

THANK YOU, MISS...

IT'S LAUREL.

I'M MR. HOLLAND'S ASSISTANT.

WELL, THANK YOU, LAUREL.

CAN WE START
SHOOTING?

YES, WE CAN
START SHOOTING.

OKAY...
THERE WE GO.

IMPRESSIVE.

YOU ARE GOING TO BE
ONE HANDY ROOMMATE

TO HAVE AROUND.

IF WE EVER SEE
EACH OTHER.

WITH OUR HOURS,
WHO KNOWS?

OH, WE'LL BE
SEEING EACH OTHER.

OUR BOSSES ARE AN ITEM.

WHAT A CLICHE.

AN ATHLETE
DATING A MODEL.

OH, YEAH.

THAT'S IT, YES.

JUST PUT IT
RIGHT OVER HERE, GUYS.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

THANKS.

ALL RIGHT,

YOU'RE ALL SET.

THANKS, DAD.
I APPRECIATE ALL THE HELP.

YOU KNOW WHAT,

I'M GOING TO GIVE IT
A TRY NOW.

WHOA.

SLOW DOWN, CHAMP.

THE DOCTOR SAID

YOU HAD TO TAKE IT EASY
FOR THE FIRST WEEK.

YOU HAVE TO REST IT

AND KEEP ICING IT.

DAD, IF I REST TOO LONG,

I'M LIABLE
TO BECOME ANOTHER HAS-BEEN.

WE BOTH KNOW

THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE
ALL RIGHT, SON.

YOU'RE GOING TO
GET THROUGH THIS.

I'M NOT GOOD AT...
SITTING AROUND.

I KNOW IT'S HARD,

WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT,

THIS IS NOT
THE END OF YOUR CAREER.

YEAH, I GUESS THAT'S TRUE.

NOW, WHAT DO WE SAY
IN THIS FAMILY?

I KNOW.

"NEVER SETTLE
FOR THE SIDELINES."

THAT'S RIGHT.

OH.

HI.

I'M HERE FOR DANNY.
I'M HIS NEW ASSISTANT, LAUREL.

REALLY?

I'M DANNY'S FATHER.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

THANK YOU. NOW,
I WANT YOU TO MAKE SURE

HE STAYS OFF THAT FOOT,

AND IT NEEDS TO BE ICED

FOUR MORE TIMES
TODAY. GOT IT?

- I'LL MAKE SURE.
- OKAY.

GOOD MORNING.

MORNING, ROOKIE.

I DIDN'T THINK
I'D SEE YOU AGAIN.

WHY NOT?

WELL, YOU HAD MORE FUMBLES
THAN RECEPTIONS YESTERDAY.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT

THROW IN THE TOWEL.

I'M NO QUITTER.

TODAY'S GOING TO
BE BETTER.

YOU'LL SEE.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO DO FOR YOU FIRST?

MY DOG NEEDS WALKING.

YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH DOGS, DO YOU?

NO, I LOVE THEM.

UM, I'M A GREAT DOG WALKER.

WELL, I GOTTA WARN YOU,

SHE DOESN'T LIKE MANY PEOPLE.

WHAT'S HER NAME?

KNUTE.

YOU NAMED YOUR DOG
AFTER NEWT GINGRICH?

NO, KNUTE ROCKNE.

IS HE SOMEONE FAMOUS?

- HE WAS. HE'S LEGENDARY NOW.
- REALLY?

FOR WHAT?

FOR BEING THE GREATEST
FOOTBALL COACH OF ALL TIME.

WOW. DID YOU EVER
PLAY FOR HIM?

NOT IN THIS LIFETIME.

KNUTE!

KNUTE!

COME HERE, GIRL.

POOPER-SCOOPER'S RIGHT HERE.

A SHOVEL?

OH, TRUST ME,

YOU'LL NEED IT.

SIT.

HUH...

KNUTE DIDN'T GIVE YOU
A HARD TIME?

KNUTE CERTAINLY HAS
A LOT OF ENERGY.

COME ON!

MUST BE THE ANKLE.

IT'S PROBABLY
FREAKING HER OUT.

I KNOW IT'S FREAKING ME OUT.

WELL, I AM GOING
TO HIT THE SHOWERS.

OH.

THE OFFICE IS IN THERE.

THERE IS A CELLPHONE

ON THE DESK.

THAT'S FOR YOU,
FOR AS LONG YOU KEEP THIS JOB.

THERE'S ALSO
A PILE OF WORK

LEFT BY
YOUR PREDECESSOR,

BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
FOR RIGHT NOW IS,

YOU NEED TO ORGANIZE
MY SCHEDULE.

I NEED YOU TO CHECK

WITH THE TEAM PUBLICIST,

MY PUBLICIST,

MY SPORTS AGENT, MY BOOK AGENT,

AND MY PHYSICAL THERAPIST.

YOU GOT THAT?

OF COURSE.

OF COURSE.

KNUTE...

COME HERE.

CAN I HELP YOU?

I WANT TO SEE DANNY BOY.

MAY I HAVE YOUR NAME?

DO YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?

A WHAT?

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

WHO ARE YOU?

I ASKED YOU FIRST.

I'M ISAIAH HOWARDS.

WHO?

ISAIAH HOWARDS.
BEST TIGHT END IN THE LEAGUE?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

THEN YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS
BEING IN DANNY HOLLAND'S HOUSE.

NOW, STEP ASIDE AND LET ME IN.

ARE YOU ALWAYS THIS PUSHY?

THAT'S HOW I MAKE A LIVING.

WANNA SEE?

HEY, ISAIAH.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

SHE BELONG TO YOU?

WELL, THAT'S UP
FOR SOME DEBATE,

BUT YOU CAN PUT HER DOWN NOW.

YOU... KNOW HIM.

HE'S MY TEAMMATE.

SHE'S MY NEW ASSISTANT.

AH.

SORRY, I DIDN'T KNOW
WHO YOU WERE.

I NEED A NEW PUBLICIST.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME

MOVE SOME OF
MY STUFF IN EARLY.

THANK GINA.

WHEN IS SHE MOVING OUT?

RIGHT AFTER
THE WEDDING.

HOW'S THE JOB GOING?

NOT GREAT.

ACTUALLY,

I STINK AT BEING
A PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

IT'S NOT THE LONG HOURS,
OR THE RUNNING AROUND,

OR EVEN THE STANDING UP
TO A TIGHT END,

BUT HALF THE TIME,

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT DANNY'S TALKING ABOUT

BECAUSE HE SPEAKS IN FOOTBALL.

I HAVE GOT JUST WHAT YOU NEED.

THIS IS THE PERSONAL
ASSISTANT'S HANDBOOK,

WHICH I HAPPENED
TO HAVE AUTHORED.

IT WILL TELL YOU
EVERYTHING YOU NEED

TO MASTER THIS JOB.

IT WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO
TELL A CAP FROM A LATTE,

A FINE CUBAN CIGAR FROM
A TWO-DOLLAR COSTA RICAN,

AND A PINOT
FROM A MERLOT.

STUDY IT
COVER-TO-COVER.

OH, AND MAKE SURE YOU TAKE
A GOOD LOOK AT PAGE SIX.

IT HAS ALL
THE UNLISTED NUMBERS

FOR THE PRIVATE CLUBS,
RESTAURANTS,

AND THE CHIEF OF POLICE.

YOU KNOW, JUST IN CASE.

THANKS.

I WILL ADD IT TO MY HOMEWORK.

HOMEWORK?

I NEED TO LEARN EVERYTHING
I CAN ABOUT FOOTBALL

IF I WANT TO KEEP
THIS JOB,

SO THAT'S
TONIGHT'S READING.

THE JOB WILL
GET EASIER.

I PROMISE.

EVEN IF YOUR BOSS
DOESN'T WANT YOU?

YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY

BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN
THERE'S A WOMAN?

WELL, THE TRUTH IS,

BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL PERSON,
THERE IS A PERSONAL ASSISTANT.

IS THAT IN THE HANDBOOK?

NO.

BUT I LIKE THE SOUND OF IT.

I THINK I'LL ADD IT
TO THE NEXT EDITION.

GOOD MORNING.

WHAT'S THAT
YOU'RE WEARING?

YOU LIKE IT?

I MADE IT MYSELF.

I NOTICED THE TEAM SHIRTS
ARE SO MASCULINE,

SO I JUST PUT MY OWN SPIN ON IT.

IT'S CALLED A JERSEY,
NOT A SHIRT,

AND I HOPE YOU DIDN'T
GO OUT AND MAKE ONE FOR ME.

NO, I MADE YOU THESE.

CRANBERRY
WALNUT MUFFINS.

YOUR FAVORITE, RIGHT?

WHAT, NOTHING FOR THE DOG?

SHE ALREADY LIKES ME.

I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM.

I WON A BLUE RIBBON FOR THOSE
AT THE STATE FAIR.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO
BE SUCH A GIRL?

NOBODY'S EVER COMPLAINED
ABOUT THAT BEFORE,

BUT DO YOU HAVE
TO BE SUCH A JOCK?

NO ONE'S EVER COMPLAINED
ABOUT THAT EITHER.

AND THAT'S WHAT'S
PAYING YOUR SALARY.

THAT'S MY RIDE.

LUCAS IS PICKING ME UP
FOR PRACTICE.

BUT YOU'RE IN A BOOT
AND HAVE CRUTCHES.

YOU DON'T
HAVE TO REMIND ME.

I MAY NOT BE PLAYING,

BUT I STILL
SHOW UP FOR PRACTICE.

00,

AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE ON TIME.

I THOUGHT YOU HAD
A LIMO AND A DRIVER?

NO, THE PUBLISHER
ARRANGED THAT.

I NORMALLY DRIVE MYSELF,

BUT, OBVIOUSLY,
RIGHT NOW I CAN'T.

HEY. OH.

LUCAS, COME ON,
LET'S GET GOING.

EXCUSE US, MISS,
FOR RUSHING OUT ON YOU.

NO, NO, THAT'S...
THAT'S JUST LAUREL.

THAT'S MY NEW
ASSISTANT.

THIS IS RON LUCAS.

PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

AND QUITE THE SURPRISE,
I MIGHT ADD.

YEAH IT WAS
FOR ME, TOO.

YEAH.

COME ON, LUCAS,
WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE.

SEE YOU.

SHE'S CUTE.

WHO?

LAUREL.

COME ON, LUCAS,
SHE'S MY ASSISTANT.

DON'T EVEN
THINK ABOUT IT.

OH, COME ON,

YOU KNOW HOW BAD
I WANT TO MEET SOMEONE.

IS SHE SINGLE?

HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

DON'T YOU TALK TO HER?

NOT ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT.

HEY, ROMEO,

KEEP YOUR MIND
FOCUSED ON THE GAME, OKAY?

SHAWN, CALL ME BACK
AS SOON AS YOU CAN.

I NEED HELP WITH DANNY'S
FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE,

WHATEVER THAT IS.

SO, PLEASE, THE MINUTE
YOU GET THIS, CALL ME.

OH, AND MAKE SURE TO CALL
MY PERSONAL PHONE

AND NOT MY WORK PHONE.

OKAY...

STAY. STAY.

HI.

IS DANNY HOME?

NO, AND I'M SO SORRY,

BUT WE DON'T ACCEPT GIFTS
FROM FANS.

OH, WE'RE NOT JUST ANY FANS.

I'M DANNY'S MOTHER,
AND THIS IS HIS SISTER.

CAN I SEE SOME PROOF?

YOU MUST BE LAUREL.

YOU MET MY HUSBAND
YESTERDAY?

WILL THAT GET US IN?

I'M SO SORRY, MRS. HOLLAND.

PLEASE, COME IN.

THANK YOU.

DANNY TOLD ME NOT
TO LET ANYONE IN.

WELL, I'M PRETTY SURE
HE DIDN'T MEAN US.

I'M JULIE, BY THE WAY,
AND THIS IS AVA.

- HI.
- HI.

I MADE DANNY
A POT OF HIS FAVORITE CHILI.

THAT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU.

HE'S LUCKY TO HAVE
SUCH A CARING FAMILY.

OH, WE'RE LUCKY, TOO.

WELL, BESIDES
CHECKING UP ON DANNY,

WE WANTED TO DROP OFF
THE LIST FOR THE PARTY.

IS THIS SOMETHING
I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?

OH, DANNY'S

GIVING HIS FATHER AND ME
AN ANNIVERSARY PARTY.

WHICH MEANS YOU'LL PROBABLY
BE DOING ALL THE WORK.

WELL, AT LEAST
PLANNING A PARTY

IS SOMETHING I'M GOOD AT.

WELL, THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS

HAVE BEEN PARTICULARLY
HARD ON HIM,

SO I HOPE YOU'RE NOT TAKING
ANYTHING TOO PERSONALLY.

NOPE.

PERSONAL ASSISTANT
RULE NUMBER 8 SAYS

THAT YOU HAVE TO
DEVELOP A THICK SKIN,

SO I'M WORKING ON IT.

IS IT A SPECIAL
ANNIVERSARY?

YEAH, IT'S OUR 35th.

WOW! 35 YEARS?

THAT'S... EPIC.

MY PARENTS ONLY
LASTED SIX YEARS.

OH, I HOPE THAT DIDN'T
DISCOURAGE YOU.

NO, JUST THE OPPOSITE.

IT TURNED ME INTO
A HOPELESS ROMANTIC.

I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN,

ONLY I NEVER END UP
WITH THE RIGHT GUY.

OH, IT JUST HASN'T
HAPPENED YET, SWEETIE,

THAT'S ALL.

AS LONG AS
YOU DON'T GIVE UP.

I MEAN, THERE'S PROBABLY
SOME GUY OUT THERE RIGHT NOW

THINKING THE VERY SAME THING.

YEAH.

WE'LL LET OURSELVES OUT.

OKAY, THANKS.

- BYE.
- BYE.

BLACK 72! BLACK 72!

RED 27! HUT!

LET'S GO!

GOOD JOB. GOOD JOB.

HEY...

YOU LOOKED GOOD
OUT THERE TODAY.

FEELIN' GOOD.

TOO GOOD.

I'M STARTING TO WORRY.

NO, YOU AREN'T.

NEED A RIDE?

YEAH, I MIGHT.

LAUREL WAS SUPPOSED
TO PICK ME UP, BUT...

I HOPE NOTHING HAPPENED TO HER.

HAPPENED TO WHO?

DANNY'S GOT
A NEW ASSISTANT.

ANOTHER ONE.

ACTUALLY, I'M THINKING ABOUT
ASKING HER OUT.

IT'S A HER?

AND I ALREADY TOLD YOU
TO FORGET ABOUT IT.

IT WOULD BE INAPPROPRIATE
IF YOU DATED HER,

BUT I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG
WITH ME ASKING HER OUT.

LAUREL, WHERE ARE YOU?

YOU'RE HERE?

NO... I COULDN'T FIND YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE LOST?

YOU GUYS
DON'T HAVE TO WAIT.

OH, WE DON'T MIND.

WANT TO MEET
YOUR NEW ASSISTANT.

THERE'S NOTHING
TO MEET, DURBIN.

SHE'S JUST A GIRL.

OH, I SEE HIM.

THANKS. THANKS SO MUCH.

SORRY.

THEY SHOULD REALLY HAND OUT
MAPS FOR THIS PLACE.

THAT IS A GREAT IDEA.

NICE JERSEY.

BUT WHERE CAN I GET ONE
FOR MY WIFE?

OH, THANKS.

I MADE IT.

LATER, GUYS.
I GOTTA GET GOING.

BYE.

BYE.

THIS PLACE IS
REALLY CONFUSING.

WHERE'S YOUR CAR?

OH, IT'S, UM,
RIGHT OVER THERE.

THE... THE RED ONE?

THAT'S YOUR CAR?

I KNOW IT'S OLD,

AND IT DRIVES
KIND OF LOUD,

BUT IT'S SORT OF A CLASSIC,
AND I LOVE IT.

IS IT A 1964 OR '65?

'65.

'65...

I HAD AN '65 IN HIGH SCHOOL.

IT WAS A HAND-ME-DOWN
FROM MY GRANDDAD.

IT WAS A GREAT CAR.

IT RUNS, REALLY.

JUST GIVE ME A SECOND.

IT'S KIND OF
AN UNUSUAL CAR

FOR A GIRL TO BE DRIVING.

AND I CAN DRIVE IT
JUST AS WELL AS ANY GUY.

HEY, GLAD I CAUGHT YOU.

COACH WANTS TO SEE YOU
FOR A SECOND.

- THANKS.
- YEAH.

- HEY.
- HEY.

JUST WANTED
TO LET YOU KNOW,

WHAT YOU DID
WITH THE TEAM JERSEYS WAS GREAT.

YOU'RE REALLY CREATIVE.

I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.

I REALLY MEAN IT.

I'M NOT THE TYPE OF GUY
WHO DOESN'T MEAN WHAT HE SAYS.

GOOD TO KNOW.

SO, FEEL FREE TO TELL ME
IF YOU SEE ME MESSING UP.

WELL, I WILL BE SEEING
A LOT OF YOU,

WITH DANNY, I MEAN,

SO I WILL KEEP AN EYE ON YOU.

THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I NEVER KNEW FOOTBALL PLAYERS

WERE SO NICE.

WELL, WE'RE NOT ALL BAD BOYS.

HEY, LUCAS, DON'T YOU
GOT SOMEPLACE TO BE?

NO.

YEAH, WELL, I DO, SO...

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

- BYE.
- BYE.

CASANOVA...

ARE WE HEADING
FOR HOME?

NO.

YOU'RE TAKING ME TO
THE BAY AREA BOY'S CENTER.

I'M WORKING WITH
SOME OF THE KIDS THERE,

AND THEN I HAVE
A DATE WITH HUNTER,

SO, UM...

YOU CAN TAKE
THE NIGHT OFF.

IF YOU'RE ENTERTAINING,

WHY DON'T YOU LET ME
FIX UP THE HOUSE A BIT?

WHY? WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
I HAVE A HOUSEKEEPER.

I JUST MEAN

I COULD TRY AND MAKE IT
A LITTLE MORE ROMANTIC.

TRY AND HIDE THE FACT

THAT YOU HAVE A GYM
IN YOUR LIVING ROOM.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE
SOME CANDLES,

FLOWERS, SOFT MUSIC...

NO MICHAEL BUBLE.

GOT IT.

OH, AND I NEED YOU
TO PICK UP

A BAG OF FOOD FOR KNUTE.

WE USE THE 30-POUND SIZE,

BUT DON'T WORRY,

THEY'LL CARRY IT
TO THE CAR FOR YOU.

I SUPPOSE I'LL BE THE ONE
CARRYING IT INTO THE HOUSE?

WELL, I CAN'T EXACTLY
IN MY CONDITION.

IF YOU WERE A GUY,
IT WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.

DON'T WORRY.

I'M STRONGER THAN I LOOK.

HMM.

WELL, IN THAT CASE,
GET THE 50-POUND BAG.

IT'S MORE ECONOMICAL.

THAT WAS FUN.

HEY, KNUTE.

I DIDN'T THINK THAT

WHEN YOU SAID
WE WERE GOING TO A CLUB,

YOU MEANT...

YOU MEANT THE BOY'S CLUB
WITH LITTLE BOYS.

WELL, YOU SAID
YOU WANTED TO COME

TO ONE OF MY BOOK EVENTS.

YEAH, FOR ADULTS,
NOT CHILDREN.

WELL, IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE,

THAT IS WHO
I WROTE THE BOOK FOR.

- WHAT?
- GET AWAY...

SHE'S JUST TRYING
TO BE FRIENDLY.

CAN'T YOU PUT HER
OUTSIDE OR SOMETHING?

UH... YEAH,
SURE, YEAH.

COME ON, KNUTE,
LET'S GO OUTSIDE.

COME ON.

LET'S GO. YEAH.

COME ON.

DID YOU DO ALL OF THIS FOR ME?

AND YOU EVEN REMEMBERED
YELLOW ROSES ARE MY FAVORITE.

THEY ARE?

OH, YEAH, UH, RIGHT. YEAH.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING

SINCE YOU'RE INJURED
AND NOT PLAYING ANYWAY,

WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH ME
TO ROME?

I'LL BE ON A PHOTO SHOOT
FOR A WEEK,

AND WE COULD TAKE ANOTHER WEEK
AND GO TO VENICE.

VENICE...

MM-HMM.

UM, AS TEMPTING
AS THAT SOUNDS,

I CAN'T.

AND WHY NOT?

WELL, BEING OUT
WITH AN INJURY

ISN'T LIKE BEING
ON VACATION.

BESIDES ALL THE REHAB,
I'M STILL PART OF A TEAM.

I HAVE TO
SHOW UP EVERY DAY.

WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.

ITALY WOULD'VE BEEN FUN.

KNUTE!

QUIET, GIRL!

WELL, WE COULD DO
SOMETHING FUN

ONCE YOU'RE
BACK IN TOWN.

I WILL HOLD YOU TO IT.

KNUTE, KNOCK IT OFF!

I'M SORRY.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO HER TONIGHT.

MAYBE SHE'S JEALOUS.

I DON'T KNOW,

SHE'S NEVER ACTED
LIKE THAT BEFORE.

MAYBE IT'S ME.

I MEAN, I LIKE DOGS...

MOST OF THE TIME.

WELL, HOW
DO YOU, UH, FEEL

ABOUT THEIR OWNERS?

WELL, THERE IS ONE

THAT I AM
VERY FOND OF.

OH, MY GOSH, THAT DOG
IS RUINING OUR EVENING.

I MEAN, MAYBE
IF I BROUGHT HER INSIDE,

SHE'D CALM DOWN.

UH, SHE MIGHT, BUT I WON'T.

DANNY, I JUST,
I CAN'T HANDLE THIS TONIGHT.

I'VE GOT A REALLY
EARLY CALL IN THE MORNING,

SO I'M JUST GOING TO GO.

WELL, I-I'M SORRY
SHE'S BEHAVING THIS WAY.

YEAH, SO AM I.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO HER TONIGHT.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO

GETTING HER
A REALLY GOOD PET THERAPIST.

MAYBE YOU DO NEED A THERAPIST.

OKAY.

I WAS ON MY WAY OUT
WHEN YOU GUYS CAME IN,

AND I WAS GONNA SLIP AWAY

WHEN YOU WENT INTO
THE OTHER ROOM,

BUT THEN YOU DIDN'T, SO...

HERE I AM.

HMM.

DID YOU, UH,
DID YOU HEAR EVERYTHING?

IT WAS A LITTLE MUFFLED,

BUT I'M PRETTY SURE I'M THE ONE
THAT RUINED YOUR EVENING,

AND NOT KNUTE.

WELL...

AT LEAST WE KNOW
SHE'S NOT CRAZY.

AM I FIRED?

WHAT? NO.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
WE CAME HOME EARLY.

YOU DID A NICE JOB, THOUGH,

FIXING UP THE PLACE.

AND THE ROSES,
THAT WAS A NICE TOUCH.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT
THEY WERE HER FAVORITE?

TRADE SECRET.

SHOULDN'T YOU BE
OFF YOUR FEET?

PROBABLY.

CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?

YOUR MOM'S CHILI
IS IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

NO. I'M GOOD.

BESIDES THE CHILI,

SHE ALSO DROPPED OFF
AN INVITATION LIST.

OH... YEAH.

I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE
TOLD YOU ABOUT THE PARTY.

OH, NO BIG DEAL.

YOUR MOM AND AVA
FILLED ME IN.

OH.

IT'S REALLY NICE
YOU'RE DOING THIS.

YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
35 YEARS IS A BIG DEAL.

THEY'RE STILL
CRAZY ABOUT EACH OTHER.

LOVE STORIES LIKE THAT
ARE WHAT PEOPLE DREAM ABOUT.

YEAH, I SUPPOSE SO.

IF THERE EVER WERE ROLE MODELS,
THEY'RE IT.

BUT NOT EVERYBODY'S LUCKY ENOUGH
TO FIND WHAT THEY HAVE.

I CAN TELL YOU

MY PARENTS ARE ROLE MODELS
OF WHAT NOT TO DO.

THAT BAD?

LET'S JUST SAY

MOST OF MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
ARE OF MY PARENTS ARGUING.

FORTUNATELY,

THEY FIGURED IT OUT
EARLY ENOUGH

AND GOT A DIVORCE.

THEY'RE BOTH GREAT,

AND I REALLY LOVE
BEING WITH THEM,

BUT I REALLY MISSED
HAVING A FAMILY

WHEN I WAS GROWING UP.

YEAH, I CAN'T IMAGINE
WHAT THAT MUST'VE BEEN LIKE.

WE HAVE A GREAT FAMILY,

BUT IT DIDN'T REALLY HELP
ME OR AVA

IN THE ROMANCE DEPARTMENT.

I'VE HAD A LOT OF
FAILED RELATIONSHIPS,

AND I DON'T KNOW,
IT'S NOT...

IT'S NOT FUN SEEING IT
PLASTERED ALL OVER CYBER SPACE

FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE.

BUT YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN UP.

I JUST DON'T GET
TOO SERIOUS ANYMORE.

BUT HOW CAN YOU FALL IN LOVE
IF YOU DON'T GET SERIOUS?

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT LOVE?

I BETTER FINISH CLEANING UP
BEFORE I LEAVE.

HE SOUNDS LIKE A JERK.

YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM.

LISTEN,

I'VE GOTTA GET GOING,

BUT DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN.

THERE ARE STILL
SOME NICE GUYS OUT THERE.

OKAY, BYE.

DID I MENTION
NO PERSONAL CALLS?

SORRY.

AVA SAYS HELLO.

YOU WERE TALKING
TO MY SISTER?

SHE SAID SHE TRIED
CALLING YOU,

BUT IT WENT TO VOICEMAIL.

SHE WANTED TO SEE
HOW YOU WERE DOING.

WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?

SHE'S YOUR FAMILY.

SHE'S CONCERNED.

SO AM I, AND THEM ASKING ME
HOW I AM ALL THE TIME

ISN'T HELPING.

NEITHER IS AVOIDING
THEIR CALLS.

PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY
ISN'T ALWAYS THE ANSWER.

OH, HEY, I AM NOT
DOING THAT, OKAY?

I'VE JUST BEEN BUSY.

MORE BUSY THAN
USUAL ACTUALLY,

WITH THE BOOK

AND, YOU KNOW,
ALL THE REHAB

AND EVERYTHING.

ISN'T THAT JUST AN EXCUSE?

I'VE NEVER BEEN CALLED
ON THAT BEFORE.

THERE IS MY PLAYBOOK.

I WAS LOOKING FOR THAT.

WAIT. THIS...

THIS IS NOT MY PLAYBOOK.

OH, NO, SORRY.

THAT'S MY NOTEBOOK.

IT'S JUST SOME SKETCHES
I'VE BEEN WORKING ON.

BUT ONLY DURING MY LUNCH BREAK.

HONEST.

THESE LOOK PROFESSIONAL.

IS THIS ANOTHER
HIDDEN TALENT OF YOURS?

THE JURY'S
STILL OUT ON THAT.

I GOT MY DEGREE
IN FASHION DESIGN,

BUT I HAVEN'T EXACTLY
TURNED IT INTO A CAREER YET.

AH, OF COURSE,
THE JERSEY YOU MADE.

NOW I... SEE THE CONNECTION.

YOUR PLAYBOOK
IS ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER.

I MADE THE SAME MISTAKE EARLIER
AND THOUGHT IT WAS MINE.

OH.

DANNY HOLLAND'S OFFICE.

OH, HEY, DREW.

HOLD ON, LET ME ASK.

HEY, NED WANTS TO KNOW

IF YOU CAN GO TO DINNER
SOME TIME NEXT WEEK

WITH SOMEONE NAMED MARINO?

DAN MARINO!

THE ONLY NIGHT
THAT YOU HAVE FREE IS TUESDAY.

ABSOLUTELY.

HE'S ALSO SOMEONE
I SHOULD KNOW, ISN'T HE?

YEAH.

IT'S TOO BAD YOU DIDN'T
HAVE ANY BROTHERS.

IT PROBABLY WOULD'VE
MADE THIS JOB

A LOT EASIER FOR YOU.

HEY, IT SOUNDS LIKE
TUESDAY NIGHT WILL WORK.

COME ON, MINERS!

SO, WHEN IS
PATTY ACTUALLY MOVING IN?

SHE HAS A HALF DAY OFF
IN THE NEXT THREE WEEKS,

BUT IN THE MEANTIME,
SHE'S LEAVING A FEW BOXES.

SHE'S IN ROME WITH HUNTER.

ROME?

LET'S GO, BOYS,
DON'T GET LAZY!

TOO BAD YOU GOT STUCK WORKING
FOR A FOOTBALL PLAYER.

DON'T LET SHAWN
HEAR YOU SAY THAT.

OH, BEFORE I FORGET...

GO DEEP,
GO DEEP...

RON LUCAS CALLED YOU EARLIER.

RON LUCAS CALLED HERE?

SHAWN, DON'T YOU DARE
LOOK IN HERE!

THAT'S BAD LUCK!

SORRY.

YOU KNOW
WHO RON LUCAS IS?

OF COURSE I KNOW
WHO RON LUCAS IS.

I'D BETTER,
IF I'M MARRYING SHAWN.

I THINK HE WANTS TO ASK ME OUT.

AND IS THAT A GOOD THING?

UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES,
IT WOULD BE,

BUT SINCE HE'S
MY BOSS' BEST FRIEND,

IT'S KIND OF AWKWARD.

THIS JOB'S
REALLY CHANGING YOU.

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN
CONSIDERED

DATING AN ATHLETE BEFORE.

ATHLETES DON'T ALWAYS
FIT THE STEREOTYPE.

I'M EVEN BEGINNING TO THINK

THAT THERE'S
ANOTHER SIDE TO DANNY.

OH, REALLY?

I'M JUST SAYING

THAT PEOPLE AREN'T ALWAYS
WHO YOU THINK THEY ARE.

MM-HMM...

LAUREL! FOURTH QUARTER'S
ALMOST OVER.

IF YOU WANT ME
TO TEACH YOU ABOUT FOOTBALL,

YOU'D BETTER GET OUT HERE.

IT'S FINE.

OKAY, UM, JUST GIVE ME
A FEW MINUTES.

BE CAREFUL ABOUT THE PINS.

I WON'T MOVE.

OKAY.

OKAY.

- OKAY, HAVE A SEAT.
- OKAY.

I WAS TRYING
TO EXPLAIN TO YOU

ABOUT THE FIRST
DOWN MARKER?

SEE THAT YELLOW LINE

THAT GOES
ALL THE WAY DOWN THE SCREEN...

AH! FACEMASK!

AH, FACEMASK!

WELL...

WHY IS IT MOVING?

BECAUSE THEY'RE
GAINING YARDAGE.

AND IT'S TEN YARDS
TO A FIRST DOWN, RIGHT?

YEAH.

YEAH, YOU'RE REALLY STARTING
TO PICK THIS UP.

HI.

LAUREL, I NEED HELP.
I'M STUCK.

OKAY, HOLD ON.
DON'T MOVE.

YUP...

THANK YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M TRYING TO GET MY PHONE.

IT JUST FELL UNDER THE COUCH.

HERE, LET ME HELP YOU.

I'M GUESSING
THIS ISN'T YOURS.

WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK

FOOTBALL PLAYERS
CAN READ LITERATURE?

YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY PERSON
WHO WENT TO COLLEGE, YOU KNOW.

IT'S JUST,
IT'S RIGHT UNDER HERE.

DO YOU SEE IT?

RIGHT HERE.

THANK YOU.

YUP.

OW!

YOU'VE BEEN VOTED
SEXIEST MAN IN SPORTS

TWO YEARS IN A ROW.

HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

IT'S VERY NICE,

BUT IT'S NOT WHAT
MY BOOK IS ABOUT.

YOU'RE DATING HUNTER ST. JAMES.

DOES THAT MEAN
YOU'RE OFF THE MARKET?

I'D PREFER NOT TO TALK
ABOUT MY PRIVATE LIFE.

THEN YOU'RE NOT DENYING IT?

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT
EITHER WAY.

OKAY, COME ON,
BUT YOUR FANS WANT TO KNOW.

JUST...

LET ME
JUST SAY THAT...

THAT...

MY AREA OF EXPERTISE
IS PLAYING ON THE FIELD,

NOT PLAYING THE FIELD.

SURE.

NOW, HOW ABOUT WE GET BACK
TO DISCUSSING MY BOOK,

WHICH, AS YOU KNOW,
I WROTE FOR KIDS,

AND ALL THE PROCEEDS GO TO
INNER-CITY YOUTH PROGRAMS...

OKAY...

- YOU STILL THERE?
- OH, YEAH.

HERE, LET ME.

I CAN GET OUT OF
THE CAR MYSELF.

RIGHT.

SORRY.

PROBLEM?

NO, IT'S FINE.

I'LL JUST CALL THE AUTO CLUB.

WHY DON'T I TAKE A LOOK?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

I'M NOT GOING TO
RUIN YOUR CAR

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF.

I USED TO WORK ON MINE
ALL THE TIME.

FINE, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO.

I THINK I SEE
THE PROBLEM.

THAT'S AMAZING.

OH, YOU'VE GOT
SOME GREASE...

HOLD ON.

I HAVE... YEAH.

DID I...
DID I GET IT?

NO.

NOW IT'S ON YOUR NOSE.

HEY...

I EVEN READ IT.

WHAT'D YOU THINK?

I THOUGHT IT WAS HONEST
AND INSPIRING.

I ESPECIALLY
LIKED THE PART

WHERE YOU TALKED ABOUT
KIDS OVERCOMING THEIR FEARS.

THAT'S 'CAUSE I LIVED IT.

THERE ARE A LOT OF KIDS

WITH WORSE ODDS THAN I EVER HAD.

THAT'S WHY I WROTE THE BOOK.

WELL, IF THE FOOTBALL THING
DOESN'T WORK OUT,

I GUESS YOU'VE GOT
A FUTURE AS A WRITER.

I'M SERIOUS.

THANK YOU.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

OKAY.

OH, AND DANNY WANTS TO KNOW

IF IT'S ALL RIGHT TO INVITE
A FEW OF HIS TEAMMATES.

OH, OF COURSE.

HOW IS DANNY?

HE'S DOING WELL.

BUSIER THAN USUAL,
I GUESS.

THEN YOU MUST BE
BUSIER THAN USUAL, TOO,

SO WHY DON'T I
HELP OUT A BIT?

I'LL CALL THE PLAYERS
AND INVITE THEM,

SINCE I KNOW
MOST OF THEM.

THAT WOULD BE GREAT,
THANK YOU.

ERIC DURBIN,
ISAIAH HOWARDS,

RON LUCAS...

I HAVEN'T SEEN RON IN A WHILE.

GLAD HE'S ON THE LIST.

IS DANNY BRINGING A DATE?

I ASSUME HUNTER.

SHE'S THE MODEL?

NATURALLY.

HAVEN'T YOU MET HER?

OH, DANNY DOESN'T INTRODUCE US
UNLESS IT'S SERIOUS.

WHICH MEANS WE HAVEN'T MET
MANY OF DANNY'S GIRLFRIENDS.

OH, I REALLY LIKE THIS.

ISN'T THAT SWEET?

OH, YEAH,
THAT'S REALLY PRETTY.

I WISH DANNY WOULD FIND
SOMEONE TO GET SERIOUS WITH.

DESPITE APPEARANCES,

HE'S REALLY NOT
ONE OF THOSE PLAYER TYPES.

JUST SEEMS LIKE

HE'S DATING
THE WRONG TYPE OF WOMEN.

I'M PRETTY SURE HE KNOWS THAT.

TEN MORE SECONDS, COME ON.

ANKLE FEELS GOOD.
I'M GOING TO KEEP GOING.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
STICK TO THE REGIMEN,

NOT MAKE UP YOUR OWN.

THANKS FOR
HELPING ME OUT TODAY.

SURE.

I'M SORRY
I MISSED LAUREL.

I'LL BE SURE
TO TELL HER.

NO, YOU WON'T.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

SEE YOU.

I THINK THIS ONE...

WHAT IS THAT?

SORRY, IT'S MY PHONE.

UM, IT'S THE EMERGENCY LINE.

IT ISN'T DANNY,
IS IT?

NO, NO, IT'S UM,

AN EMERGENCY WITH
MY ROOMMATE'S WEDDING.

OH.

DANNY?

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

SORRY, EXCUSE ME!

I HAVE TO GO.

- OKAY, BYE, SWEETIE!
- BYE!

HOW BAD IS IT?

ACTUALLY, IT'S GOOD NEWS.

I DIDN'T DO ANY DAMAGE.

WHAT A RELIEF!

I MEAN...
YOU MUST BE SO RELIEVED.

AND A LOT
MORE COMFORTABLE.

DOC SAID I DON'T HAVE TO
WEAR THE WALKING BOOT ANYMORE,

JUST AN AIRCAST.

THAT'S GREAT.

HEY, CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

CAN WE TELL NO ONE WHAT I DID?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY.

DISCRETION IS RULE NUMBER TWO

IN THE PERSONAL ASSISTANT'S
HANDBOOK.

WHAT'S RULE NUMBER ONE?

NEVER GET TOO PERSONAL.

HEY, KNUTE...

HEY, GIRL.

YOU WAITING FOR US?

YEAH...

I'LL GET YOU
AN ICE PACK.

UH, COULD YOU BRING IT
OUT TO THE PATIO?

I THINK I MIGHT
SIT OUT THERE FOR A WHILE.

WANT TO GO TO THE PATIO?

YEAH? GO OUTSIDE?

COME ON.

HEY, YOU WANT
SOME WINE?

THANK YOU.

HEY, THANKS, UM...

FOR NOT JUDGING ME TODAY.

WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

WELL, I'VE BEEN DOING IT TO YOU
FOR THE LAST FOUR WEEKS.

AND WHAT'S THE VERDICT?

WELL, THE VERDICT IS

THAT YOU ARE BETTER
THAN ELLIOT EVER WAS.

I GUESS THAT'S SOMETHING.

OH, YOU'D PREFER
A LETTER GRADE?

ONLY IF IT'S ABOVE A C.

I WAS GOING TO SAY B MINUS.

I'LL TAKE IT.

HMM.

BUT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
AN A STUDENT,

AND I WILL GET THERE.

YOU'LL SEE.

GOOD.

UM...

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE

THAT YOU NEED ME TO DO
TODAY, OR...?

NO.

YOU COULD PROBABLY TAKE OFF,

IF YOU WANT.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

THANKS FOR THE WINE.

THAT'S SO SWEET...

OKAY, LADIES,
I WANT TO MAKE A TOAST.

THERE WE GO.

TO GINA AND SHAWN.

I MAY BE LOSING A ROOMMATE,

BUT I AM GAINING
FREE DENTAL CARE.

AW...

CHEERS.

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

HEY, LOOK,

LAUREL'S HERE.

DANNY'S ASSISTANT?

- YEAH.
- WHERE?

LOOKS LIKE
A GIRLS' NIGHT.

LET'S NOT SPOIL IT.

OH, NO. MY BOSS
JUST WALKED IN.

WHICH ONE IS HE?

HE'S THE REALLY
GOOD-LOOKING ONE

WITH THE LEATHER JACKET.

ISN'T HE ON THE WHEATIES BOX?

YES.

HI, LAUREL.

THIS IS A NICE SURPRISE.

HEY, RON.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?

UH, LATE PRACTICE.

SOME OF THE GUYS
WANTED TO GRAB A DRINK.

DANNY'S OVER THERE, TOO.

NICE.

WE'RE HAVING
A BRIDAL SHOWER, ACTUALLY.

EVERYONE,
THIS IS RON LUCAS.

- HI.
- HI.

WHY DON'T YOU INVITE
YOUR FRIENDS TO COME OVER?

- YEAH!
- SURE.

YEAH, I'LL GO GRAB 'EM.

HE'S ADORABLE.

THEY DON'T WANT TO
COME OVER HERE.

THEY'RE FOOTBALL PLAYERS.

WE WON'T HOLD IT
AGAINST THEM.

AND IF ANY OF YOU

EVER TELL SHAWN ABOUT THIS,

I'M NOT GOING TO
TALK TO YOU AGAIN.

NO WAY!

I JUST DON'T GET IT.

HE WAS THE ONE
THAT CAME ON STRONG.

HE PURSUED ME,
AND THEN NOTHING.

DO YOU THINK
I SHOULD CALL HIM?

YEAH, TOTALLY.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I MEAN, IT'S BEEN
OVER A WEEK.

IT'S TIME.

WHAT DO YOU...

AS A GUY,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

LOOK, BY NOT
CALLING THIS JERK,

HE'S GOING TO WONDER
WHAT HAPPENED.

"DID SHE MEET
SOMEONE ELSE?"

"WAS SHE JUST
NOT THAT INTO ME?"

HE'S GONNA NOT KNOW,

AND IT'S GOING TO
DRIVE HIM CRAZY,

AND YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE
THAT HE'LL ALWAYS THINK ABOUT.

WOW.

THAT'S MY OPINION.

I'M GOING TO GO
CHECK UP.

YEAH, SURE.

- NO, THAT'S GOOD.
- THAT'S REALLY GOOD.

DANNY, CAN I HELP YOU
WITH ANYTHING?

UH, NO, THANKS.

YOU DO KNOW
YOU'RE OFF THE CLOCK,

DON'T YOU?

RIGHT.

SO, WHEN'S THE WEDDING?

IT'S SUNDAY,

SO I WON'T
BE AVAILABLE,

BUT THAT IS THE ONLY NIGHT
THAT I REALLY NEED OFF...

I THINK I CAN MANAGE.

THAT WAS REALLY NICE

WHAT YOU SAID TO HER
JUST NOW.

AH, WELL, I CALL 'EM
LIKE I SEE 'EM.

SHE REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR IT,

ESPECIALLY FROM A GUY.

EVEN IF I AM A...
A JOCK?

I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU THAT.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE
AGAINST US, ANYWAY?

I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST DON'T LIKE THEM...

MOST OF THE TIME.

NO, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY
ABOUT BRUSSELS SPROUTS

OR A ROOT CANAL.

THERE HAS TO BE A REASON.

IN HIGH SCHOOL,
THEY MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE.

I WAS A LITTLE
ON THE NERDY SIDE.

YOU KNOW,
BRACES AND GLASSES.

THE FOOTBALL TEAM
LOVED TO PICK ON ME.

YOU KNOW, THEY ONLY DID THAT

BECAUSE OF
THEIR OWN INSECURITIES.

SOME GUYS DO
GROW OUT OF IT, YOU KNOW.

REALLY?

YEAH.

DO YOU NEED A RIDE HOME?

NO.

I'M WITH LUCAS.

LET'S GO ROMEO.

GOOD NIGHT.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO MEET
YOU, TOO.

NICE TO
MEET YOU.

- CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANK YOU.

SO, ARE YOU BRINGING HUNTER
TO MOM AND DAD'S PARTY?

UH, PROBABLY, UH...

BUT I'M NOT SURE.

YOU GOING TO BRING SOMEONE?

MAYBE.

WHO'S THE GUY?

SOMEONE I THOUGHT
WAS JUST A FRIEND,

AND I THINK IT MIGHT BE
TURNING INTO SOMETHING MORE.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO JINX IT
BY TALKING ABOUT IT.

YEAH, UNDERSTOOD.

BUT I DO WANT TO TALK ABOUT

WHICH ONE OF US
WILL MAKE A SPEECH.

I'VE BEEN THINKING
I'D LIKE TO DO IT.

BUT I USUALLY
MAKE THE SPEECHES.

THAT'S MY POINT.

HOW ABOUT LETTING ME DO IT
FOR A CHANGE?

YEAH, WELL THEN,
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE JUST ENJOY THE PARTY,

HAVE A GOOD TIME.

YEAH, BUT EVERYONE'S GOING TO
EXPECT ME TO GIVE A SPEECH.

I KNOW YOU'RE USED TO BEING
THE CENTER OF ATTENTION,

BUT MAYBE
YOU COULD GIVE IT UP

JUST FOR ONE NIGHT?

OKAY, HEY, THAT IS NOT FAIR.

I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE
THE CENTER OF ATTENTION...

CAN I BOTHER YOU
FOR AN AUTOGRAPH?

HE'S ALL YOURS.

AVA...

THERE YOU GO, BUD.

THANK YOU.

I'M GONNA GO OVER THERE.
I'LL...

WHAT WAS THAT?

IT'S DANNY.

HE'S USING
THE EMERGENCY CODE.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

WELL, CHECK
TO SEE WHAT HE WANTS.

BUT IT'S THE MIDDLE
OF YOUR WEDDING!

WELL, ACTUALLY,

TECHNICALLY
WE'RE ALREADY MARRIED,

SO...

GO, CHECK.

WHAT DOES HE WANT?

HE DIDN'T SAY,

HE JUST SAID
THAT HE NEEDS TO SEE ME.

THEN YOU SHOULD GO.

BUT I CAN'T RUN OUT
DURING YOUR WEDDING...

I'M THE BRIDE,
AND THAT I SAY YOU CAN.

OKAY, I'LL BE BACK
AS SOON AS I CAN.

PERFECT.

OKAY.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

I JUST GAVE
MY BEST FRIEND

A CHANCE AT HAVING
WHAT WE HAVE.

WHAT IS IT?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I GOT HERE
AS FAST AS I COULD.

AM I THE SORT OF GUY

WHO ALWAYS NEEDS TO BE
THE CENTER OF ATTENTION?

WHAT?

MY SISTER MORE OR LESS
ACCUSED ME OF THAT,

AND THEN SHE WALKED OUT ON ME.

THAT'S THE EMERGENCY?

I THOUGHT SOMETHING
HAPPENED TO YOU.

I NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE.

YOU WERE THE PERSON
THAT I THOUGHT OF.

IN THE MIDDLE OF
MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING?

OH, THAT WAS
TONIGHT, WASN'T IT?

YOU LOOK GREAT.

I TOLD YOU I HAD THIS WEDDING,

BUT, OBVIOUSLY,
YOU WEREN'T LISTENING.

NO, NO, I WAS LISTENING.
I FORGOT...

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT
WEDDINGS ARE SACRED?

RUSHING HERE

TO LISTEN TO YOU WHINE ABOUT
SOMETHING YOUR SISTER SAID

IS NOT WHAT I WOULD CALL
AN EMERGENCY!

I WOULDN'T EXACTLY SAY
I WAS WHINING...

I'VE BEEN
AT YOUR BECK AND CALL

FOR THE LAST FIVE WEEKS.

THE LEAST THAT YOU COULD DO

IS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
FOR ONE LOUSY NIGHT.

IT'S PATHETIC!

YOU CAN BARELY KNOW
HOW TO PROGRAM YOUR DVR

FOR YOUR OWN STUPID
FOOTBALL GAMES,

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO DAY-TO-DAY

WITHOUT SOMEBODY TELLING YOU,

AND I'LL BET
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW

WHAT THE INSIDE OF
A GROCERY STORE LOOKS LIKE.

IS THERE ANYTHING
THAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOURSELF?

THIS.

MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

- DID YOU WANT SOME COFFEE?
- WANT ME TO MAKE COFFEE?

YEAH.

COFFEE.

YEAH.

I-I THINK WE SHOULD...

TALK ABOUT
THAT KISS LAST NIGHT.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, WE SHOULD.

I KNOW THAT WAS REALLY
UNPROFESSIONAL OF ME.

UM, BUT, UH...

GOD, UH...

IT PROBABLY BROKE
EVERY RULE IN YOUR HANDBOOK.

I DID KISS YOU BACK.

YEAH.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT...

I... I WANTED TO SAY...

SHOULD I GET THAT?

GET KNUTE.
I'LL GET THE DOOR.

STAY, STAY!

BUONGIORNO!

WHOA!

OW...

DID YOU
MISS ME, SWEETIE?

HOW'S YOUR KNEE?

YOU MEAN MY ANKLE?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT.

HONEY, CAN YOU PUT THE DOG
IN THE OTHER ROOM?

DANNY AND I HAVE
A LOT TO CATCH UP ON.

I'LL TAKE HER OUT FOR A WALK.

HONEY...

I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY,

FOR THE WAY I BEHAVED

THAT LAST NIGHT
WE WERE TOGETHER.

I HOPE YOU'RE NOT
MAD AT ME.

NO, YOU KNOW WHAT,

IT REALLY WASN'T A BIG DEAL.

I'M SO GLAD.

WHO AM I KIDDING?

I CAN'T COMPETE WITH HER.

HMM, OKAY,
CAN WE DO THIS LATER?

BECAUSE I, UM...
YEAH...

UM, I HAVE TO
GET TO PRACTICE,

AND IT'S A REALLY
BUSY DAY, SO...

CAN WE, UM...

OKAY, SURE.

YEAH, OKAY.

OH... HEY,
LET ME HELP YOU.

THANKS.

BY THE WAY,

CONGRATULATIONS
ON THE GAME.

THANK YOU.

IT WAS EXCITING TO SEE YOU
MAKE THAT LAST PASS.

I'M GLAD YOU WERE WATCHING.

I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED IT.

YEAH, YOU GUYS ARE
HOLDING UP THIS GAME, THOUGH,

SO IF YOU DON'T MIND...

DO YOU GUYS NEED ANYTHING
ELSE BEFORE I LEAVE?

UH, YEAH, I COULD
USE ANOTHER BEER.

SHE'S NOT
YOUR SERVANT.

YOU'VE GOT LEGS.

YOU CAN GO
GET IT YOURSELF, MAN.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

I GUESS
WE'RE TAKING A BREAK?

ALL RIGHT, THEN,

I'LL JUST SAY GOOD NIGHT.

BYE.

OH, BY THE WAY...

MY WIFE LOVED THE JERSEY.

COULD YOU MAKE ONE
FOR MY DAUGHTER?

ABSOLUTELY.

PERFECT.
THANK YOU.

HEY, I WONDER
IF YOU COULD MAKE ME

ONE OF THOSE JERSEYS, TOO?

UH, NOT FOR ME, FOR A FRIEND.

UH...

A FEMALE FRIEND.

I'D BE HAPPY TO.

PERFECT.

SEE YOU.

BYE.

TALK TO YOU
FOR A SECOND?

YEAH, SURE.

IT'S ABOUT THIS GIRL
THAT I'M SEEING

AND... I'M PRETTY
CRAZY ABOUT HER.

YEAH, YOU KNOW,

I'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T
GIVE ME THE DETAILS.

I DON'T NEED
TO HEAR THEM.

JUST TRYING TO BE
HONEST WITH YOU.

YOU ARE,

AND, UM...
YOU'RE ADULTS,

YOU'RE FREE TO DATE
WHOEVER YOU WANT.

SO, YOU ALREADY KNOW?

SHE TOLD YOU?

NO, SHE DIDN'T TELL ME.

I KIND OF FIGURED IT OUT.

AND...

YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT?

I SHOULDN'T HAVE OBJECTED
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

YOU'VE GOT THE BALL,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL RUN WITH IT.

THAT'S A GOOD METAPHOR.

COME ON, LET'S PLAY SOME CARDS.

WELL, HELLO, PRINCESS.

LET'S GO MEET DADDY.

DADDY?

NOW, THIS IS
WHAT YOU CALL A DOG.

ISN'T SHE A CUTIE?

I BOUGHT HER YESTERDAY.

I THOUGHT SHE WOULD MAKE
A GREAT COMPANION FOR KNUTE.

SERIOUSLY?

GUYS, CAN WE
LOSE THE DOG, PLEASE?

PATTY, DEAR!

WOULD YOU MIND?

THANK YOU.

OKAY, HERE WE GO.

OKAY, GUYS,
READY TO DO THIS?

SO...

I'M THINKING
00

TO ACTUALLY MOVE IN.

HUNTER'S GOT
A BOTOX APPOINTMENT,

SO THAT SHOULD GIVE ME
A COUPLE OF HOURS.

SO DOES THAT WORK FOR YOU?

YOU LOVE EACH OTHER?

PRETEND, PRETEND...

LAUREL, DOES NEXT
TUESDAY WORK FOR YOU?

SORRY.

YEAH. THAT'S FINE.

YEAH, THERE YOU GO, NICE.

EXPRESS YOURSELF, DANNY.

NICE. VERY NICE.

THANKS, DOC.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

WHOO!

DOC CLEARED ME TO PLAY!

UM... I GOTTA CALL COACH.

HEY, UH, YOU NEED SOMEONE

TO WIN YOU THE GAME
NEXT WEEK?

YEAH, 100% CLEARED...

YEAH.

YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW AT PRACTICE.

WHOO!

THAT'S GREAT NEWS, DANNY.

YEAH.

YEAH, IT'S THE BEST.

HEY, NED.

YEAH.

GUESS WHO'S CLEARED TO PLAY.

YES! WHOO!

- WHAT?
- DANNY... HE'S BACK!

I NEED YOU TO GET
A PRESS RELEASE READY.

CALL "THE CHRONICLE,"
CALL THE NETWORKS,

AND EVERYBODY AT NIKE!

MWAH!

OOH, YEAH.

BLACK 19!

BLACK 19!
SAID HUT, HUT!

OKAY, I'M ALL SET.

CONGRATULATIONS
AGAIN, SON.

THANKS, DAD,
BUT REMEMBER,

WE'RE JUST CELEBRATING
MY RECOVERY.

IT'S NOT LIKE I WON
THE CHAMPIONSHIP.

LET'S CALL IT
A CELEBRATION

FOR THE GAME YOU'RE GOING
TO WIN THIS SUNDAY.

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO?

NO, WHERE WOULD
YOU LIKE TO GO?

IT'S ON ME.

I SORT OF OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

FOR WHAT?

I'VE BEEN A BIT OF A JERK
FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS,

AND I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN
VERY RESPONSIVE.

YOU KNOW WHAT,
NO APOLOGIES NEEDED.

UM, WHERE'S AVA?

SHE'S NOT COMING?

OH, NO, NO,
SHE'S GOT A DATE TONIGHT.

OH, LAUREL,

YOU'RE GOING TO
JOIN US, AREN'T YOU?

THANKS, BUT
I'D BETTER NOT.

I'M SURE DANNY WILL GIVE YOU
THE NIGHT OFF, WON'T HE?

IT'S FINE WITH ME.

I'VE GOT SO MUCH WORK TO DO.

BUT HAVE A GREAT NIGHT.

OKAY.

- BYE, SWEETIE.
- BYE.

HELLO!

HEY, NED, UM, LOOK,

I NEED YOU TO LINE ME UP
A NEW ASSISTANT,

AND THIS TIME,
MAKE SURE IT'S A GUY.

WHAT?

UM, I'M SORRY,
I DON'T GET IT.

WHAT HAPPENED TO LAUREL?

I THOUGHT YOU LIKED HER.

I DO LIKE HER.

I MEAN, I DON'T LIKE HER
IN A NON-PROFESSIONAL WAY,

BUT I'D BE MORE COMFORTABLE
HAVING A GUY AROUND.

OKAY.

WHATEVER.

I'LL CALL THE AGENCY.
AGAIN.

THANKS.

YEAH, SORRY, PAL.

I KNOW YOU'LL MISS HER,

BUT IT'S JUST TOO HARD
SEEING HER EVERY DAY,

KNOWING SHE'S WITH
MY BEST FRIEND.

GOOD MORNING.

UM... THAT'S FOR YOU,
ON THE TABLE.

WHAT'S THIS FOR?

I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
IT'S SEVERANCE PAY.

I HOPE IT'S ENOUGH.

I DON'T GET IT.

AM I FIRED?

NOT FIRED,

BUT I AM GOING TO
HAVE TO LET YOU GO.

DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?

NO...

BUT IF YOU REMEMBER
OUR AGREEMENT, UM,

I SAID THAT YOU COULD STAY
UNTIL I WAS CLEARED TO PLAY.

OH, RIGHT.

I DID AGREE TO THAT, DIDN'T I?

AND NOW THAT I'M PLAYING,

I'D JUST RATHER
HAVE A GUY IN THE LOCKER ROOM

AND EVERYTHING.

I UNDERSTAND.

I'M REALLY SORRY.

IT'S OKAY.

AND YOU REALLY DID
GIVE ME A CHANCE

WHEN I NEEDED IT.

I'M GLAD YOU UNDERSTAND.

IF YOU EVER NEED SOMEONE
TO TAKE CARE OF KNUTE,

LET ME KNOW.

RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?

I GOT FIRED.

I MEAN, LET GO.

WHAT?

IT CAME AS A SURPRISE
TO ME, TOO.

OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING.

IT JUST SO HAPPENS
THAT I'M A GIRL.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT
HE LIKED ABOUT YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

OH, UH...

MAYBE I WAS WRONG, UM,

BUT I THOUGHT YOU AND DANNY
BROKE RULE NUMBER ONE.

WE ALMOST DID,
BUT THEN WE DIDN'T.

THEN WHY DID HE
BREAK UP WITH HUNTER?

HE DID?

WHEN?

UH, A FEW DAYS AGO.

SHE'S ALREADY MOVED ON
TO SOME SOCCER PLAYER.

THEN THAT JUST PROVES
THAT HE'S NOT INTERESTED IN ME.

NOW THAT HE'S FREE,
HE COULD HAVE ASKED ME OUT.

SOMEHOW I FEEL LIKE
THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.

NO, IT'S MY FAULT.

I WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO THINK

THAT THERE COULD ACTUALLY
BE SOMETHING

BETWEEN ME AND DANNY.

YOU SURE IT ISN'T
TOO PAINFUL BEING HERE?

IT'S FINE.

I NEEDED TO GET OUT.

I HAVE NO INTEREST IN
WATCHING THE GAME, THOUGH.

HOW ABOUT SOME BUFFALO WINGS?

THANKS, BUT I'M NOT
VERY HUNGRY.

TELL ME MORE
ABOUT YOUR HONEYMOON.

WELL, WE WENT TO
ONE FOOTBALL GAME

AND THEN WE WATCHED
A COUPLE ON TV.

DID YOU TAKE A CARRIAGE RIDE
THROUGH THE PARK

LIKE WE ALWAYS SAID WE WOULD?

SECOND NIGHT THERE.

THAT MUST'VE BEEN SO ROMANTIC.

IT WAS.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

AT LEAST YOU HAVE
THAT SEVERANCE CHECK

TO TIDE YOU OVER FOR A WHILE.

I SENT IT BACK.

WHY?

IT DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT
KEEPING IT.

I DECIDED TO FOCUS

ON THE ONE THING THAT
I'M TRULY PASSIONATE ABOUT.

AND NO MORE SETTLING
FOR THE SIDELINES.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

NOTHING.

I'M GOING TO GET
ANOTHER DRINK.

DO YOU WANT ONE?

NO, I'M FINE.
THANKS.

HEY, LAUREL,
DID YOU SEE THAT?

DANNY JUST THREW
THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN.

SHAWN...

OH, I'M SORRY,

I DIDN'T MEAN TO THROW
SALT ON THE WOUND.

THAT'S OKAY.

LOOK, AS MUCH AS I LOVE
DANNY HOLLAND,

I'LL ALWAYS BE ON YOUR SIDE.

THANKS.

WILL YOU TELL GINA
I WILL CALL HER TOMORROW?

SURE THING.

YES, DANNY!

THANKS FOR MEETING ME.

I WANTED TO GIVE YOU
THE FINAL GUEST LIST

BEFORE THE PARTY.

OH, THANK YOU.

I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHY YOU'RE NOT WORKING
FOR DANNY ANYMORE.

I'D... RATHER NOT
DISCUSS IT.

OKAY.

THEN I WON'T PRY.

I ADMIRE
YOUR PROFESSIONALISM.

I SURE AM GOING TO MISS YOU.

AND I'LL MISS ALL OF YOU.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT
YOU'RE GOING TO DO NEXT?

WELL...

I HAVE THIS CRAZY IDEA,
BUT IT'S PROBABLY TOO AMBITIOUS.

HOW DO YOU KNOW UNLESS YOU TRY?

YOU KNOW THOSE JERSEYS I MADE
FOR SOME OF THE PLAYERS' WIVES?

MM-HMM.

EVERYONE SAYS I SHOULD TRY

AND DO SOMETHING
WITH THEM,

BUT I'D HAVE TO GET
THE LICENSING RIGHTS,

WHICH I'M SURE
I COULD NEVER AFFORD.

I DON'T THINK
THAT'S CRAZY AT ALL.

I THINK YOU SHOULD
FOLLOW YOUR PASSION.

DANNY DID THAT,

AND HE NEVER, EVER GAVE UP,

NO MATTER WHAT.

DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE
OF THAT GUACAMOLE?

THAT WAS GOOD STUFF.

LAUREL MADE THAT
HERSELF,

SO, NO, WE DON'T HAVE
ANY OF THAT TONIGHT.

AND, UM, DID SHE LEAVE

ANY OF THOSE
COOKIES SHE MADE?

NO.

IT SURE WAS NICE
HAVING LAUREL AROUND.

YEAH, WELL, SHE'S NOT HERE,
AND SHE'S NOT COMING BACK,

SO CAN WE JUST
FOCUS ON THE GAME?

SO, LUCAS...

WORD HAS IT
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

OH, YEAH?
WHO IS SHE?

GUYS, ARE YOU GOSSIPS
ALL OF A SUDDEN?

WE'RE CURIOUS,
THAT'S ALL.

IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT
IT, THAT'S HIS BUSINESS.

SHE MUST BE
PRETTY SPECIAL.

YEAH, SHE'S GREAT.

COME ON, GUYS,

DO YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT GIRLS,

OR DO YOU WANT TO
PLAY SOME CARDS?

LET'S PLAY SOME CARDS.

THANKS FOR COMING TONIGHT.

MY MOM AND DAD WERE...

OKAY, I WILL.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HI, GUYS.
THANKS FOR COMING.

YOU'RE A SHARP-DRESSED
MAN, DANNY.

YOU LOOK REALLY NICE.

YOU TOO, YOU TOO.

YOU DRESS YOURSELF?
I LIKE THIS.

HI. WOULD YOU EXCUSE US?

I HAVEN'T DANCED WITH
MY BROTHER ALL EVENING.

WOW, THAT IS A DRESS.

I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

SORRY FOR THE THINGS I SAID
WHILE WE HAD DINNER.

I WAS OUT OF LINE.

NO, YOU WEREN'T.

I KNOW THERE ARE TIMES
I CAN BE PRETTY SELF-ABSORBED.

AND I KNOW IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY
BEING MY SISTER.

I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE
ANYONE ELSE'S.

WHEN I SEE
MOM AND DAD LIKE THAT,

I THINK THAT'S WHAT
LOVE SHOULD BE.

NOT EVERYONE
CAN BE THAT LUCKY.

I'VE BEEN
THINKING, AND...

I WANT YOU TO MAKE
THE SPEECH TONIGHT.

EVEN THOUGH I ACCUSED YOU
OF STEALING THE SPOTLIGHT.

THE TRUTH IS,

YOU'RE BETTER
AT MAKING SPEECHES.

LOOK, I...
I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING DOWN.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

JUST...

SAY HOW YOU FEEL.

HEY, SORRY I'M LATE,
BUT MAY I CUT IN?

UM, SURE.

WOW.

HI.

HOW LUCKY AM I?

YOU LOOK HANDSOME.

I FEEL LIKE JAMES BOND.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING!

WHAT ABOUT LAUREL?

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

YEAH. DANNY,

YOU'VE BEEN ACTING
A LITTLE STRANGE LATELY.

AREN'T YOU
SEEING LAUREL?

WHAT? NO. NO.

NO, I...
I'VE BEEN SEEING AVA.

I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO TELL YOU THAT

FOR A FEW WEEKS,

BUT YOU SAID YOU ALREADY KNEW.

THAT'S THE CUE FOR THE SPEECH.

YEAH.

GOOD LUCK UP THERE.

THANK YOU ALL

FOR SHARING
THIS WONDERFUL EVENING WITH US.

MY BIG BROTHER, DANNY,

WOULD LIKE TO SAY
A FEW WORDS.

A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK
THAT I'M THE SORT OF GUY

WHO ONLY THINKS ABOUT FOOTBALL,

WHICH IS ONLY PARTIALLY TRUE...

BECAUSE TONIGHT
ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT

IS HOW LUCKY I AM
TO HAVE SUCH AMAZING PARENTS.

THESE TWO HAVE GIVEN ME AND AVA

ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT

THAT ANY TWO KIDS
COULD EVER WANT,

AND THEY STILL HAD ENOUGH
LEFT OVER FOR EACH OTHER.

THEY INSPIRED US

TO WANT THE SAME
TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP

THAT THEY'VE SHARED FOR...

FOR 35 YEARS.

ONE BUILT ON RESPECT,

AND UNDERSTANDING,

AND PASSION.

BUT SUPPOSEDLY,
IT WASN'T ALWAYS THAT WAY.

I DON'T KNOW
IF MANY OF YOU KNOW,

BUT WHEN THEY FIRST MET,
THEY COULDN'T STAND EACH OTHER.

IT'S TRUE.

BUT DAD TOLD ME THAT

THAT WAS JUST
A DEFENSE ON HIS PART,

BECAUSE...

HE THOUGHT SHE WAS THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL GIRL HE'D EVER SEEN.

SHE STILL IS.

I GUESS
IT ONLY GOES TO SHOW HOW...

HOW WRONG WE CAN BE
ABOUT SOMEONE

THE FIRST TIME WE MEET THEM.

AND, LUCKILY,

DAD WASN'T DUMB ENOUGH
TO LET HER GET AWAY.

TO MOM AND DAD...

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

CHEERS.

CHEERS.

OH...

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL, DANNY.

YEAH, I MEANT EVERY WORD OF IT.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES,

THE RIGHT PERSON
IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU,

AND YOU JUST DON'T NOTICE.

IS THIS YOUR SUBTLE WAY
OF TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING?

WELL, IT'S TRUE

THAT YOUR DAD AND I

DIDN'T REALLY LIKE EACH OTHER
AT THE BEGINNING,

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE
THE DISADVANTAGE

OF HAVING TO WORK FOR HIM.

YEAH, MOM I DON'T THINK
IT MUCH MATTERS.

SHE PROBABLY HATES ME.

OH, I WOULD BE
WILLING TO BET

THAT SHE DOESN'T.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
STAND AROUND

ON THE SIDELINES...

THANKS.

YOU DON'T MIND
IF I BAIL, DO YOU?

NO.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

I'M GOING
TO RECOVER A FUMBLE...

AND GO FOR A TOUCHDOWN.

THAT'S MY BOY.

THIS ROUND IS ON ME.

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

THANKS.

WHY AREN'T YOU MORE EXCITED?

I AM.

I THINK IT JUST HASN'T
SUNK IN YET.

OH, YEAH, OKAY.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU JUST BOOKED
AN AMAZING MERCHANDISING DEAL

WITH A MAJOR LEAGUE
FOOTBALL TEAM.

I'D BE DANCING ON THE TABLES.

COUPLE MORE GLASSES OF WINE,
AND I WILL.

ALL RIGHT.

IS THAT...?

UH-HUH.

I LIBERATED BOTH
OF US FROM HUNTER.

I DECIDED I DIDN'T
LIKE THE JOB AFTER ALL.

BESIDES, SHE IS NOT
WHAT YOU WOULD CALL

A RESPONSIBLE PET OWNER.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND HAVING
AN ADDITIONAL ROOMMATE.

NO. I MISS HAVING A DOG AROUND.

HELLO?

GINA, THIS IS, UH,
THIS IS DANNY HOLLAND.

OKAY, I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

I HAVE TO FIND LAUREL.

I-I NEED TO TELL HER
SOMETHING IN PERSON,

NOT ON THE PHONE.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS?

I DO, BUT WHY
SHOULD I TELL YOU?

BECAUSE I NEED TO TELL HER
THAT I'M IN LOVE WITH HER.

OKAY, WELL,

HERE'S THE DEAL.

I WANT SEASON TICKETS,

YOU'LL WATCH SPORTS CENTER
WITH MY HUSBAND ONCE A MONTH,

YOU WILL BE HIS FIRST PATIENT

WHEN HE OPENS
HIS DENTAL PRACTICE,

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,

YOU WILL NEVER TELL HIM
ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION.

DEAL.

YEAH, I'M GOOD.

YOU SHOULD BE.

YOU'VE BEEN ACTING
VERY STRANGE

SINCE I GOT BACK
TO THIS BAR.

IT'S DANNY HOLLAND.

I LEFT MY PARENTS'
PARTY TONIGHT

BECAUSE OF YOU.

IT WAS A GREAT PARTY,
BY THE WAY.

EXCEPT YOU WEREN'T THERE.

I KNOW THINGS GOT ALL...

COMPLICATED,

AND, UM...

I PUSHED YOU AWAY.

BUT THE TRUTH IS...

I AM CRAZY IN LOVE WITH YOU.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WOULD CALL
A HAIL MARY?

HEY, YOU DO KNOW
SOMETHING ABOUT FOOTBALL.

NOT REALLY.

JUST ONE FOOTBALL PLAYER.

AND I'M CRAZY IN LOVE WITH HIM.

TOUCHDOWN!