All language subtitles for Gammera The Invincible (1966)

It's time for RiffTrax!

RiffTrax!

♪ Whoo! Gammera!

♪ And Batman! Gammera!

♪ And also Batman!

I mean truly. He is the
grooviest Kaiju of them all.

Oh yeah.

Ah. They missed the exit for
the highway to the danger zone.

But they're too proud to ask
for directions.

A ship gropes through the ice
field of the Arctic. The expedition

with American and Canadian cooperation,

seeks an open water route
across the top of the continent.

Henry Hudson's fabled north
west passage.

Wait wait. Okay.
Take a breath narrator guy.

A lot of info.

(Mumble) I...
They approach an eskimo village.

Innocently unaware of the fabulous
experiences ahead of them.

Fabulous?

I'd hate to live in cold like
this all the time.

These people have developed
special adaptations, Mr. Iagi.

Well I hope my cameras don't freeze.

My grandson says you might be fabulous.

Welcome.

Welcome.

We have heard of your
expedition, Doctor.

Welcome to... Welcome!

Look!

Much better visitors are coming!

I think that those planes up there would
make an interesting picture, Mr. Iagi.

Don't you think so?

Yeah. I... Ugh.
I hate back seat photo journalists.

Almost a thousand miles to
the west.

I hope the shore party
returns soon, Sir.

I don't like the looks of things.

Have the ice conditions changed?

No Sir. Just a feeling.

Planes! Trains! And automobiles.
Why, it must be Thanksgiving.

There they are!

Above the...

Admit it Ken.
You don't know morse code.

You're just playing with that thing.

I know. But it sounds so cool.

Ha. Never knew that Norad worked
out of a strip mall insurance office.

Also, Norad is chatty as hell.

Get to work, you. (Mumbles)

Did I hear my name mentioned?

You did. Susan we know you've
marked yourself no trespassing.

But you shouldn't stop a guy
for trying.

Ha. Straight to the harassment.
They're creeps but efficient creeps.

Right on.

There's a south sea island
that's your direct call tonight.

Dulcet sea ripples,
muted mandolins, and me.

Ah fine, until that last item.

Would you do me the honor? Maybe.

If you keep your buttery claws
to yourself.

Remember that air men don't drool.

They obey.

Oh, your date's already going poorly,
once your "Buttery Claws" are mentioned.

Excuse me Captain? Yes General.

Make it fast Hopkins.

This just came in. Thank you.
What is it Captain?

Joe I thought you'd better
see these reports.

The protocol here is baffling.
But again, very efficient.

We just intercepted a message from
the Japanese explorer ship...

Thank you Captain. What is it?
What's wrong?

What? Are they all on amphetamines?

Lovell?

I want direct contact with
air defense immediately.

Yes sir. Lieutenant?

Similar reports with the
command post?

No Sir. Well ride herd!

Putting on my cowboy outfit sir.

Well get me General Arnold in
Washington, pronto. Right away Sir.

General, we made contact with
air defense.

They keep playing the Close Encounters
theme Sir. It's very annoying.

It's General O' Neil, do you read me?
Unknowns have been traced to your area.

Altitude four thousand feet.
Flying north, north east.

A latitude of eight four
point two seven.

East longitude one seven six
point five eight.

Be willing to set and conduct
them to base.

If they resist, you will use
plan Skylark and destroy.

Roger.

Well I didn't pay any attention.
But I did hear destroy. Let's do it.

What the? What is it?

Russian planes, and now Americans.

Trouble huh? Air trouble, yes.

Let's just pray that an
airshow doesn't break out.

Well Simpson?

Still no reports of unknowns
from our other command posts.

Could be their planes have flown off
course, General. It's happened before.

Perhaps.

Washington, Sir? The White House.

The President.
He was with General Arnold when.

No need to explain it, Lieutenant.

O'Neil speaking?

What am I wearing? Sir! Please.

Yes Mr. President. Yes Sir.

That's exactly the way it is.
No Sir. Only if the unknowns resist.

Yes Sir. I quite agree with you.

The constitution is bull (bleep) Ssir.

Directly.

Red alert.

Yeah which alert is that again?
Is that the one

where we throw an emergency bake sale,
or the one where we assassinate the pope?

Oh damn you! Chemtrails!

Identi!

Oh sorry. I got the hiccups!

I..!

Answer if?

Oh god! Let me sip some water.

No! Gammera's dead!

Wait, what?

Wasn't he piloting that plane?
No. Of course not.

Oh. Whoo.

It was Rodan. No!! Rodan's dead!!!

Harrison Ford?

Only a nuclear bomb could cause a blast like that.
You're right. It was one of those jets we saw.

Well, if it was Harrison Ford,
I hope he was in his refrigerator.

In the plane in the refrigerator.
Realize what would happen, though?

Should a cloud come towards us.

Let us stand still here and
contemplate it.

Oh, the shock wave is ruining the
semifredo I made us for dessert.

Ugh. Another infinity stone?
Geez Marvel!

How about changing up the
McGuffin for once?

How are ya!!!??

Hey hey! This is my big entrance!

Get those damn titles off me!

Harris Associates! We are done professionally!
Ugh! Ugh! You misspelled my name too!

It's one M!
Okay this is lawsuit territory!

No Mr. President. I am aware
of the need for restraint, Sir.

But I still prefer boxer shots.

Yes Sir. We'll stay on red alert
until we receive further orders.

Good bye sir.

He just got one step closer
to a military coup Jagoff!

Well the russians insist their
planes flew off course accidentally.

Electronic interference. Bull!!
Excuse me Sir.

I mean they couldn't have
mistaken the area.

I bet they were photographing our missile
locations? Well one plane maybe Lieutenant.

But not four.

No government could afford
four cameras!

Accidentally. Then realize what happened, and
fired on our planes in order not be forced down.

Oh our boys have done it occasionally.
We all know that.

Now give me my cigar back. Any
luck on raising that Japanese ship?

No sir. No air defense since you ordered them
back. Our communications system is blacked out.

The explosion Sir? It's unlikely.

There must be something else
causing the interference.

Keep on trying Clark. Yes Sir.

You like Clark? I sure don't.

Doesn't make sense! Well we'll
get more interceptors up there!

I want to find out what's going on!

Yes Sir. Oh Sergeant Embers?
Yes General?

Would you get me a cup of
coffee please? Black, no sugar.

I'm a munitions expert Sir.

Been a long day. Yes Sir.

Titles over my face! Camera jammed into
the eyeball! Terrible cinematography!

None of you clowns are ever
gonna work again!

Whoa, ha ha ho!
Gammera packing quite a...

That was just his tail, Mike.

Oh. That's what I meant.

Gammera's been charbroiled to perfection.

Here's Gam! Era!

His... Face!!

Sorry.

Didn't know that had lyrics.

What's the matter? I don't know, doctor.
I can't reach the ship. Or anyone else.

I can't get anything but static.

We shall have to miss
Howard Stern today.

Interference from the bomb doctor?
I would imagine so.

We'd better start back at once.
Right.

Good bye chief. Thank you.

Good bye.

No kiss? Not even a hug?

Wait. Some walrus pemmican for
the road? Only a few years old.

Wait. Please, Dr Hidaka.
You look, you take.

It's a very old stone about
cloud of death.

It's a primitive carving.
Of a proto killonian.

A what? An ancestral turtle.
Like the leather back.

I want my leather back!
Leather back! Leather back!

Okay. Cut it out. Stop it.

Old story of death and evil
things that happen.

Of Gammera!

Gammera is the Frau Blucher
of the dog world.

Gammera you called. This Gammera
is obviously an object of terror.

There's a peculiar pattern in
the background.

It's almost like waves, doesn't it?
Let's ask the chief.

Is that what they are?
I do not know.

Only that it is evil and very frightening.

Same answer I gave regarding
juice cleansing.

Something very significant. That
pattern is symbolic, of something else?

Yes I believe it is. This is not the
usual way that the Eskimos depict a sea.

But what else could it be? I mean turtles
live in water, so that would make sense.

Well perhaps you are right. Still I think
there's much more to this than meets the eye.

Or much less? Just throwing that out there.

That's right. The cloud is spreading.

But why should any of the those
planes be carrying the atomic bomb?

They don't trust each other. That's
why they stay on the earth. Look there.

Mitch McConnell! Oh, Gammera.

Just getting ice for cocktails.
You guys want a snort?

Gammera is dancing near us! Emergency!

Abandon ship! All hands!
Abandon ship!

Any luck? No Sir.

All of our frequencies appear to be
jammed. Then forget it. Abandon ship!

Oh, shell-o there! Get it??
Ah ha ha ha!

Quick! Get out of here!
Are you insane?!

Captain goes down with his ship.
Unless he's already pooped his drawers.

Ah, Gammera must be an army vet.
They hate Navy guys.

Ladies and gentlemen, Gammera! The new
celeb spokesman for flaming hot Cheetos!

General O'Neil? I'm lonely.
Sorry, I meant to say "What"?

We've been able to contact
Captain Foster, Sir.

He reports the Shidori Maru
is destroyed.

All that remains is a huge crack
in the ice. and debris. What??

No sign of survivors. Now Foster said that
ship was beyond the area of the explosion.

Now what happened?

Sir I? I don't know exactly
how to explain his report.

It's mostly written in Zaft dingbats.

Alright Lovell. This is no
time to get tongue tied.

Now let's hear it.

Captain Foster insists that after he
was separated from his group, he saw

a giant turtle walking way from the area
where the Shidori Maru was last sighted.

What? Are you talking about
giant turtles again??

Hey? Tell us the truth. Did you
drop acid again this morning?

Hey turtle boy!! Answer me!

The captain's kidding.
A giant turtle?

He must have been working too hard.
That's one we haven't heard before.

Alright Sergeant. Get back to
your duties. Yes Sir.

Whoa. Close one there. They almost
gave us a feets don't fail me now moment.

Wow. I want a full report on
this hallucination.

And I also want a helicopter over that disaster
area to see if there are any survivors.

Maybe some people to show whatever
happened, happened. Sergeant Embers?

Yes I know. Coffee.

Want you to contact General.

Really? Me?

All possible to rescue survivors.
Also General Arnold in Washington.

Tell him it is absolutely imperative that
he meet me. Coded instructions will follow.

Yes Sir. A giant turtle?!

That's my short review of a
Master of Disguise.

Turtle. Turtle.

Would you care for a magazine
or a newspaper sir? Oh thanks.

You're very kind.

Cat Fancy. Nice.

Photographed by Big Foot,
turns out.

Do you suppose there's any
connection between this

and what happened to the
Shidori Maru doctor?

I'm personally inclined to
believe there is, yes.

Although we don't know what
happened to the ship.

Stolen by Big Foot, turns out.
Busy guy.

Got to be a coincidence. And those reports
General O'Neil told us about Dr Hidaka.

I think there is a connection between
them, somehow. I'm sure of it.

Rampant speculation!
It's all the rage!

I'm convinced all this has
something to with Gammera.

You mean you believe such a
beast might really exist?

Of course you are the scientist,
and I'm just a layman, Doctor.

That's a weird job.

After all. Except for the pilot's
report and the eskimo stone.

There's really nothing to go on. Still,
you can't just discount all the evidence.

No, you can't. To do so is
just dangerous and foolish.

I'm afraid Gammera is real.

I'm also coming around on
mind control via fluoride.

You realize the amount of damage
it could cause? Of course I do.

In civilized areas, it will be
capable of destroying whole towns.

Well, as long as he takes out every
Joe's Crab Shack, I'm cool with it.

Well, you've convinced me doctor.

Let's hope General Arnold can
convince the people in Washington.

Uh yeah. We've seen the Capitol.

Show us the statue of Albert Gallatin.
Or the Farragut North Metro Station.

The 60s. When EVERY politician was
the same 78 year old white guy.

Gentlemen?

I think we know why we're here.

To work out a new chore
rotation for the office kitchen.

General Arnold, we'd appreciate
your report. Yes Sir.

In addition to our initial findings, huge
foot prints not unlike those of a turtle.

Leading from the area of the
explosion, to the exact spot.

Ugh! Damn these staff meeting erections!

Also where Captain Foster, of our air
defense, claims he saw the giant turtle.

And during the last 13 hours.

All of which I've spent
talking about turtles.

Reliable sightings of flying saucers.

All fitting the identical description.
Starting over Nome, Alaska.

Proceeding to Saskatchewan,
on to Toronto, London.

Oh my god. He's still talking.

With Munich, Warsaw and now, Moscow.

General? Are you inferring that these
sightings of UFOs are related to?

Oh he's Robert DeNiro-ing!

Giant turtle, like renda's monster?

From mythology.
I'm inferring nothing, Senator.

I'm reporting facts as we know them.

Gah! Nobody asked for this shot!

Cut away! Cut away! It's violent.

It will be sighted next over Japan.

I would estimate in five or
six hours.

Or, shortly before Dr. Hidaka
is scheduled to land in Tokyo.

We should all start judging time in terms
of when scientists arrive at airports.

He has some standing in world science
councils. I've never heard of it.

And I'm considered expert
enough to head

committees on nuclear efficient...

He doesn't actually head these committees.
He's just considered expert enough.

Unless he is qualified.

A lot of hedging there.
Should they break out.

The point is Dr Hidaka is
eminently qualified.

I wonder how Waldorf felt about Statler
being named secretary of defense.

Between General Arnold and Dr. Hidaka.

Shortly after the zoologist was
rescued by one of our helicopters.

What's a heelocopter?

Logical man.
And one who relies on facts.

And from what he learned about
Gammera, as a result of his research,

and the evidence at the scene
of destruction,

I respect his conculsion. Whoo! That light
pen tap, really brought his point home.

Yeah. Mr. Secretary, you must agree
that until more logical explanations.

His nine martini lunch is
beginning to show. (Mumbles)

Factual evidence of supposed
footprints, of supposed monster.

Oh supposed monsters is
Richard Terry's new reality show.

Be a thick brown soup of fun.

World is about to face a
calamity of enormous proportions.

Much like the Tang shortage
of '63.

This school boy myth of flaming dragons!
And frankly Mr Secretary, I'm disturbed.

Oh we know that.
Deeply disturbed.

It's quite evident.

Are you Senator?

Well, from the facts, I am quite
concerned. Deeply concerned.

And so is the President.

When I spoke with him he was crying.
Stress eating a tube of salami.

Dr. Hidaka, offered any advice?
No sir.

There was none he could offer.

Until he knows more about the creature.

Gentlemen I think we're in
for a time of it.

He seems excited about the
approaching turtle-pocalypse.

Command post, and we'll take this
assignment to Gammera operation.

Report directly to me. Yes Sir.

Now gentlemen, if you'll excuse
us, the President is waiting.

I actually have a theory of
how we can defeat Gammera.

Uh cram it Walter. Meeting's over.
It's quite easy.

Ah beat it.

The only three known survivors of the
ill fated exploration ship, Shidori Maru.

Will be revealed after this
commercial break. Kikoman!!

You know, I don't speak Japanese.

And I can still understand him
better than Bob Dylan.

(Mumbles)

Just coming back from his meeting of drunk old
guys nobody will every believe saw the monster.

Damn nocturnal frolfers!

Whoa!!

Scenic lighthouse on the outside,

packed to the rafters with
inflatable wafu on the inside.

Did you rest well, father? I don't
know. Do you like working at night?

Well there's not much need for
lighthouses during the day, is there?

No. May I be excused?

Wait. Have you read the new
book about helium?

It's impossible to put down.
Ha ha ha! Dad jokes.

Tosho? Come here.

What are you up to Tosho?
Oh hosting bum fights. Burning stuff.

Turtle? Oh father? Yes?

Could you come here a second?
Yes what is it?

Tosho? Your sister and I understand
your love for your pet turtle.

But we want to talk to you about it.

Son, did you know that turtle is a
traditional ingredient in Creole cooking?

Come Tosho. You have to learn to make
friends with people, as well as animals.

Tosho. Your turtle is very nice.

But you have to have other
friends too.

What about that Ted Bundy boy
next door? He seems nice.

Better for him to return to the lake.
And better for you to forget about turtles.

Listen, if you promise to get rid of that
turtle, I think father will buy you something.

Anything you like.

Tortoise? No. Terrapin? No.

Snapping? No dammit!

Hookbill? You want me to tell you
what I would really like? What is it?

Yes, tell us. What is it?
To keep it.

Alright. Get the ether.

Tosho? I want you to set him free.

If you don't, I'll do it for you.

It's a lot nicer, if you went
out yourself and let him go.

Certainly nicer than me launching
him out of t-shirt cannon.

Listen to me Tosho.

I realize that this may seem cruel.
It is.

But am doing it for your sake.
You do understand, don't you?

I mean the last thing we want
for you is to grow up

to be someone who loves and
cares about things.

I cover the turtle front!

I'm watching the sea! Just hoping that
reptile of mine, will come back to me.

Don't go in the ocean!
Stay where I put you!

Okay!

Meanwhile in the lighthouse, his dad's
goofing on those clowns in congress!

Oh I forgot what I was gonna say.

Bugs Bunny like prankster, Gammera!

Hey kid. Do you know of any all night
terrariums where a guy can get his shell rubbed?

Tosho?

What is it?
Why are you running? Look!

It was like Edward James Olmos,
but not as craggy.

Look at what? The ocean?

Go to bed now.

Authentic bridge of the
Enterprise impact effects.

Naboyo?

Tosho? Are you alright?
No, it's not an earthquake. Look!

Cowabunga dudes!

Anyone know where I can get a
huge pepperoni pizza?

Ha ha! I'm kidding.
I'm here to kill ya.

Tosho!

Tosho! Come back!

Is irritable bowel syndrome getting
in the way of your Kaiju watching?

What? Am I paying to light the
whole neighborhood here??

Tosho!

Tosho!

This is what you get for not
laughing at my dad joke earlier!

I can't hold on! I can't!

I'm falling papasan! Tosho!

Hey. Aren't you supposed to be a
hot blond? I'm getting screwed here.

All the grace of a drunk
harbor seal.

Tosho? Tosho? Tosho?

Yeah. I make that sound every
time I step barefoot on a Lego.

Tosho? Tosho?

Tosho, wake up! Wake up!

Wake up son! Tosho!

Tosho! The super group formed
by members of Toto and Chicago.

Are you alright? Sure I'm alright.

Yeah. That big turtle is Gammera.
But he's gone.

Apparently he's gone back in the ocean.

Apparently?? You lost track of
a mountain sized murder turtle?

Gammera caught you and put you down.

Well, Gammera put me down? Yes!
You're safe, you're safe.

Thank goodness.

Tokyo airport. Rebuilt following attacks
by Megalon, Kumonga and Alec Baldwin.

Good evening Dr. Hidaka.

Would you answer a few questions?

How do you account for your
Tom Skerrity-ness?

Attention please.

Will Dr Hidaka arriving on Pan American flight
819 please report to the desk for a message?

A call for you Sir. Thank you.
Hidaka speaking?

Uh huh. Fifteen minutes, yeah.
Save 15% or more. Got it.

Why of course.
Practically on my way.

That was professor Morassi.

Gammera was seen there by a
number of reliable witnesses.

We leave immediately. Yes Sir.

Hey! Now we'll never know whether

they stopped at duty free to
buy those giant Toblerones.

Stay tuned for continuing announcements
and bulletins. It's dreadful isn't it?

This is when car talk is
usually on.

Yes. He had quite an evening.

We all have.

Annoying little boy man,
to the rescue!

Mountain top? Majestic ocean view?

Do I feel a musical number about
someone's hopes and dreams coming on?

It's me! Come on out of there!

You're my new turtle now Rock.

I know why.
I bet Gammera scared you.

But he's gone.

Hey!! Silkwood! Looking good, doll!
Ha ha! Practically glowing! Call me, Babe.

Ah. Yes.

Levels comfortably between fillings
catch fire, and third nipple. Perfect.

Did you feel that tremor?
What's so unusual?

We have them all the time here.
Yeah, but not that rough. Ah.

Monster movie science guys ignoring
their own science. Classic.

I spotted Gammera! Yes! He's headed
for the geothermal installation.

Ah! Something must be wrong. I'm getting
nothing but a high frequency noise.

A high frequency noise? The
original title of CBS's The Nanny.

What is it? An earthquake.
Or a steam explosion.

Well, whatever it is, the
stand and gawk squad is on it!

Dr. Hidaka! Did you buy the
Toblerone? I must know Sir.

Good evening. Good evening.

I'm Dr Hidaka of Tokyo University.
How do you do?

Nobody cares. Who is this?

Oh. I'm Kyoke. I'm afraid I'll
have to ask you to leave.

The press is bogged.

Yeah. Down after Larry King excreted
his oils all over the knobs.

Whoo. That's a rough one.

I feel you can make a worthwhile
contribution to our efforts here.

He's been with us from the start.
And I value his opinion very highly.

His rankings of the supermodels are spot on!

At 1930 hours Gammera destroyed
the light house of (indistinct) here.

Then he disappeared.

But then within the last ten
minutes, he was spotted

near the geothermal power plant
by aerial reconnaissance.

Ugh. Look, can we get Bill Nye
here instead?

Allow me to explain doctor.

In a volcanic area such of this, there
are many natural steam beds or fumaroles.

Pouring out steam at about a
thousand degrees.

This tremendous natural energy has
been harnessed to generate electricity.

Which, in turn, we use to
power the rocket fire explosion.

Issuing from the ground out. Exactly.

Excuse me, Dr. Hidaka.

Steam that hot could kill a
person instantly, could it not? Yes.

Then why can't we use that
steam to destroy Gammera?

I don't think it would work, Captain.

Guy tries to become an instant
Gammera expert gets burned.

Gammera was able to survive.
Dr. Hidaka?

What is there that could stop
Gammera, then?

Don't know.

Does anyone know where can
get enormous heating rock?

Three hundred and fifty thousand kilowatts.
Three hundred and fifty thousand.

It might just work,

Alright. Listen up, maggots! We're gonna lob
shell after worthless shell at the creature.

Shifting back and forth between obvious stock
footage and hilariously awful miniatures!

Think you candy asses can h
andle that?

Sir! Yes Sir!

This is Red Leader.

Ready to attack. Stand by. Over.

Red leader, this is Jack
Tonoporkins checking in, over.

Tonoporkins. Tono.

They're ready to attack now,
Dr. Hidaka.

Captain? Please hold off the attack
for a while Let's try my plan first.

Yes Sir.

Attention soldiers. Prepare Dr. Hidaka's
plan to build a giant spring loaded trap

that will launch a cream pie
directly into Gammera's face.

Oh, Tofo. We're ready Sir.

Axel Rose has never sounded better.

He's getting close to the wires.

Ready! Close all circuits!

Oops. Accidentally closed all
Circuit City's.

That's how that happened. Stand
by for signal for full discharge.

Imagine if power lines actually worked
for once. And the movie just ended.

Ah, yeah. This was a mistake.

Captain? You'd better give
the order to attack.

Yes Sir.

Army captains love taking orders from
random scientists. Classic movie.

Gammera hates Springfield!

He's had it up to here with those
numskull drones in sector seven G.

Well, to be fair, they probably
shouldn't have built their

nuclear towers out of plywood
and a chain link fence.

He won't stop until Blue Oyster Cult agrees
to write a rock song about him, too.

Think Gammera is just gentrifying.
In a few months, there's gonna

be a mini Target there, along
with a bunch of cute little

overpriced boutiques and
craft beer bars.

So uh. Anyway. Thanks for going
with my plan. Ha ha. Science.

Wow. Buddy! You've got to moisturize
your back. Take care of yourself.

At least put some Chapstick
on the thing.

Woodstock, '99 baby!

After the fires, he's gonna
catch Limp Bizkit on the main stage.

Then check out G Love and
Special Sauce.

Dr. Hidaka?

It looks like he's eating it? Yes
he is. I knew that. I'm a scientist.

Call off the attack?

He's invulnerable.
One might even say "Invincible?

What? Where the hell are you
getting that from?

I don't know. Heard it somewhere.

I must consult with Professor
Morassi urgently.

There's the point when eating
fire when you're really full.

But you just can't stop yourself
from finishing the entire bag.

He actually ingested the fire?

Yes. And now he's a skull.
Wanna grab dinner?

Legends of fire breathing monsters like the
Chimera, and dragons, persisted through the ages.

Still, it's astounding to discover
such a creature really exists.

Well, they can stop re-casting. They
found the best Colonel Sanders yet.

I don't know. I've made one conclusion.

Well, what?

Obviously his metabolism is
not like ours.

Not only conceivable,
but entirely likely.

That his cell structure differs
radically from known life forms.

Oh! The invincible giant turtle
isn't like known life forms?

Good work there, Professor.

That would explain his fire eating. And
his invulnerability to electric shock.

Heat and concussion.

Yes, I agree with you
completely Professor.

But that doesn't bring us any
nearer to a solution, does it?

Meanwhile, Gammera just ate
the british parliament.

And yet I don't think they. Yes. Still
they're obviously symbols of some sort.

I don't think they're rhythmic
enough for waves.

Doctor? It would be very useful
if we could decipher this.

Planes are on their way to decipher
the symbols. Thank you, planes!

His waving his hands in the air.

But scientists remain unsure or
if they just don't care.

It's no use sir. Our weapons
do not shoot him down.

Nothing short of an atom bomb
would do any good. You're right.

Yes Sir. Wait? That's how it works?

A soldier suggests the atom bomb,
and they call a general?

It's not a great system.

Do everything we can.
You can be assured of it.

Thank you.

We have just received a request
from General Yokobashi.

So it's convenient that we
were already gathered like this.

Up until now, every armament we have
provided them hasn't done any good.

Our missiles? Lavin!

But that means getting
approval of our allies!! Aye!!

Mr Secretary, have you consulted the
President of these decisions? I have.

And he has given my complete authority

to implement any moves that
we may take.

President's too busy for small matters
like the atomic bomb. Thank you Sir.

Now gentlemen, I think we'd
better order in some lunch.

Now that's a scene I like.

Senator, you can expect my complete
cooperation Sir. I expect nothing less.

Next time,
move your mouth when you talk.

Ugh. Oh hey guys, sorry I'm late.

Good evening, Professor Marassi.
Good evening.

The situation about the same?
Yes sir.

It's about to be changed any
moment though.

The Americans are going to attack
Gammera with nuclear missile.

Did they ask the President first?
Nope!

Good.

Good. Clear the area. No, wait.
Listen.

The missiles wont do any good.

It's more likely they'll serve as source
of energy. Alright. If you say so.

Well what do we do instead though?
Alright. If you say so.

Who knew the path to nuclear
disarmament was so easy.

It's like a Trader Joe's
staff meeting.

Very good. Professor Marassi?
What can we do?

Uh, call an even older scientist?

Dr. Hidaka?
Do you have any ideas? What?

It's not even an idea.

Just a thought that occurred
to me.

What if an Italian plumber fought
the gorilla that throws barrels?

A great deal of justification.
But Gammera is vulnerable.

To cold. Remember he was frozen in
the ice until the bomb released him.

Yes of course. We must devise
a means of freezing Gammera.

I repeat your ideas. But louder.

The army may have the answer.

Our scientists have developed a freezing
bomb. To use in fires and nuclear reactors.

Captain? You mean the army has
a bomb that will freeze things?

How implausibly convenient.

Well it's still in the experimental
stage. I believe we can use it.

Although there is one serious drawback.

The gases that they use in this as
a refrigerant dissipate in ten minutes.

Also they smell like
microwaved broccoli.

Still. These bombs.
Are there enough for us?

I believe there's an adequate
supply, Sir.

You know? Maybe this random army
guy should be the scientist.

May be the answer.

There isn't too much time. Do you
suppose you can arrange it? It's urgent!

I believe so Sir. Yes. I'll
get started on it immediately.

In fact it's already done. We're a
remarkably prepared and organized government.

Ugh. So drunk.

This is night watch patrol.

Gammera is now leaving power plant.
Heading for mountains.

Mountains? But that's where
we keep our Dew!

Hmm. It should be easy out there.

Yes it should.

The planes will be able attack
from all sides.

Choosing not to fly?
Very sporting of Gammera.

Gammera's now on Toshima Ridge.

Heading for Devil Spring area.
Roger. That's a big resort area.

We have to attack now.
Before he gets there.

Hurry. Forget the bombs.

Yes sir. Attacking resort area
before Gammera can Sir,

May I have your attention please?

For a brief assembly before homeroom.

Freezing bomb doesn't last
very long. Ten minutes.

Which means that your work has
to be completed within that time.

So everyone, please remember, when
you plant the dynamite, be quick.

But be careful. The Acme Corporation
has assured us the dynamite is very good.

Should I give the signal doctor? Please.

Oh great. Now all the dogs in
the neighborhood are freaking out.

They'd better have my Kosher meal!

How did they miss? Hey guys!
Aim for the gargantuan turtle!

Look! It's working!
Uh huh, you're right.

His movers are getting slower.
But unarguably funkier.

Look! The bomb is doing the trick!

Dr. Hidaka!
Almost a minute is gone...

Dr. Hidaka! On the double!
Dr. Hidaka storms into combat.

Just quickly carve Mt. Rushmore.
Then it's back to fighting Gammera.

Hey. Stop. Stop it.

Look! Gammera's beginning to move!

Do we have enough time left, to
plant that dynamite? How much time?

Only three minutes.

Back when women were mostly
used as stop watches.

Only one minute, Captain. Right!

Clear out!! Take cover!!
You apes want to live forever?!

On the double! Hurry up!

Thirty seconds!! I'm starting
to think I just enjoy yelling!

Ten minutes are nearly up now.

Maybe if everyone would wear a watch, or?
Maybe they wouldn't need all these updates?

That's it! The time's up, Doctor.
I know.

Then why did you make me keep telling
you?? Don't worry. We're all ready.

Fire!

Now summon our top sushi chefs!
There isn't much time.

Aww. This is like when I cut a crayfish
open with my pocket knife as a kid.

I thought it'd be cool.
But it just made me kind of sad.

Look! He's down and he's on his back.
Luckily. We've got him now, huh?

Yes. Because with Gammera,
as with any other turtle,

once he's on his back he can't
get up again.

Wait. What happened to "Gammera differs
radically from known life forms"?

Doctor, Doctor.
I think we've done it. Hooray!

Hooray! Dr. Hidaka!

It looks like your plan has
succeeded. Yes.

And in a month or so from now, he'll
be just another zoological specimen.

We'll just throw him in with the penguins.
I'm sure that will work out fine.

Look! He's pulling his legs
and head back in his shell.

Turtle!!

A good one Steve!! Villages would be
without power and clean water for years.

He's activated his hemorrhoids.
Run for your lives!!

Let's get closer to this!

The actual anus!
Thanks for showing us that.

Yeah!

What you can't see is he's puking
non-stop inside that shell.

Look! An amazing adaption!

Amazing adaptation!

Turtle couldn't flip himself over. So
evolution gave him flying flame spin powers!

Yeah. Could have just gone with a long tail
for flipping. But where's the showmanship?

Where's the pizazz?

Please kill us Gammera!

We're all so tired of being alive.
Please!

Oh well. It's China's problem now.

The eskimo stone? Do you have it?

Yes sir. Right here.

She's all about knowing what time
is is and holding the eskimo stone.

That's it. Now I understand
the pattern Professor Marati.

Those lines are meant to
represent clouds, you see.

A primitive but graphic attempt
to show, that Gammera can fly.

That's also the description
of the effects in this movie.

Gentlemen, Gammera must be stopped.

God knows where he'll strike next.

Perhaps at high tea!
Have been completely ineffective.

And the Japanese radar systems
offer barely enough warning

to evacuate the civilian populations.

We must now work as one cohesive unit.
With one objective.

To colonize the world. (Mumbles)
I'm sorry. Old habit.

To destroy Gammera before he
destroys civilization.

General Arnold. Thank you Sir.

Repressing my powerful urge
to punch your face off, Sir.

Convinced that Gammera is
continually on the hunt for food.

There is some chemical substance
in our fuel that it needs to exist.

Olestra.

Possibly the same chemical substance it
consumed over two hundred million years ago.

Hmm?

In the beginning,
in the earth's atmosphere.

This meeting was produced by
Quincy Jones.

Right on.

One percent oxygen, that we,
with lungs, need to live.

The other creatures existed
on the sustenance

of sulfur compounds in their
seething earth.

Blink, blink, blink.
There's something in my eye.

Increased in the world atmosphere.
Living things started to develop lungs.

Wow! This pitcher is like
amazing man!

The last survivor. This all came
within the radii of our microscopes.

But the existence of Gammera is living proof,
that they were not all single-cell creatures.

He must have three, even four cells.

Eats fire? Yes.

The beast actually eats fire.

Uh! That's the best
Iron Maiden album.

This may explain why he is most

destructive when he's unable to
satisfy his ravenous appetite.

And least destructive when he's gorging
himself at some oil refinery or fuel reserve.

Like a sentient Range Rover.

Any plan that we come up with.

If we can keep Gammera in one location,
long enough, we may gain the time we need.

Thank you General.

This conference is now open to
discussion. What say the rotarians?

Representative from the
Soviet Union.

I've been authorized by my government
to offer complete cooperation.

Our nation's resources, scientists,
and armed forces are at your disposal.

And our stereotypes.

The American ambassador.

The United States government
takes the identical position.

To save time, gentlemen,
I move for unanimous agreement.

Will all those in favor say aye?
Aye!

So be it. Here's another one.

From Paris. Ah.
The famous pyramids of Paris.

Gammera has been sighted all over
the world. But only in the air.

Yes. Apparently his experience with the
freezing bomb frightened and disturbed him.

Yes. What happens when he
gets hungry again?

See who it is? Yes Sir.

Oh no! Its Gammera! Ahhhh!
Come in please.

How do you do?

I'm Naboyu Sakurai.
And this is my brother Tosho.

How do you do? Good afternoon Sir.
Good afternoon.

In the lighthouse, doctor. I asked them
to come when I heard they were in Tokyo.

Yes. I see. (Mumbles)
Will you let her speak???!!!

They're rebuilding everything now.

And since there is no place
nearby where we can stay,

Tosho and I have come to visit
our uncle here in Tokyo.

Yes I understand.

Yes, but as long as you are here in
Tokyo, you must miss the sightseeing!

See that? Right there?
That is the Tokyo tower.

You might remember the time
Mothra humped it.

Dr. Hidaka?

Yes?

Is Gammera going to return?
(Mumbles)

Let us hope that he doesn't
return here.

It's very dangerous.

Gammera has saved my life.
I hope he's alright.

He doesn't mean to be dangerous.
He's just so big and clumsy, that's all.

Awww. Gammera just wanted to
pet the rabbits!

I like turtles. That's all.

I bet Gammera is lonesome too,
wherever he is.

Even a turtle doesn't like to
be alone.

That's his favorite poem by Jewel.

Be kind to Gammera. I bet he could
be trained to be nice and quiet.

Like other turtles.

He likes turtles more than
that kid who said "I like turtles".

I wonder where he is now?

I'm in the can! Give me some privacy.

Good night Tosho.

Don't let the gigantic
radioactive turtles bite.

I think Dr Hidaka was very nice
to explain everything. Don't you?

And at least you realize now
how dangerous Gammera really is.

Hmm?

Listen, I think tomorrow you and
I should go sightseeing. Hmm?

Answer me!!!

Tosho?

Sound asleep already. Good night.

Little turtle.

Hey. Just because he's slow
and useless. He's a turtle.

This was the scene earlier
today at Haneda Airport.

When the international
commission arrived.

Oh. The scene at the airport was
a plane landing? Thanks newsman.

Good scene.

United States. (Indistinct) of the Soviet Union.

We interrupt to bring you live from the
conference itself, a statement from Dr. Hidaka.

A statement? Hot diggity.

We are fairly certain that the disturbances
earlier today have been caused by Gammera's return.

You mean he's in the Tokyo area?
And he didn't text me? What the hell?

But knowing that he is Tokyo,
gives us a chance

to carry out the United Nations
plans for his disposal.

Yes. Will the projectionist
show the film please?

Oh man. This is just a trick to
show us his timeshare presentation!

Space installation,
and weather observatory.

It is here that plan Z will be carried
out as soon as arrangements are completed.

Plan Z. AKA, Operation turtle puncher!

This is control!
We have lost our contact!

We dropped it on the bathroom floor.

There it is!! Look!!

Huh. Is that Gammera? Or are
sicadas hatching inside my skull?

Yeah. Gammera heard the air
traffic controllers

are considering a strike,
and he ain't having it.

It's Gammera! Look out!

Whoa! Gammera! Dude.

Ugh. Getting dizzy. Think I'm
getting dizzy. I think I'm gonna hurl.

Down there. That's my puke.

Gammera!

What? Where are we? Did someone
sit on the remote?

Gammera!

And possibly Batman!

Okay, what else is in their set list?
Tsunami party? Bubonic plague rock??

Attention everyone!

Gammera is attacking!

Head to one of the giant
mutant animal attack shelters!

Earthquake! Not an earthquake!
Gammera!

He's coming I tell you!

Quickly! Move!

Dad! You're embarrassing me!

I say we should stay here and
dance! How about it?

Damn you! Clean cut punks!

There's my theme song!

Hey! Just because we're a death cult,
doesn't mean we don't like to have fun!

ammera hates rock bands. He thinks
the only real music is jazz.

I denounce your soulless
modern architecture.

Special bulletin! Special bulletin!

Gammera is attacking! Proceed to
shelter immediately! Proceed to shelter!

Gammera is attacking!
Gammera is attacking!

Oh calm down you snowflakes! You've
got homeowners insurance don't ya?

Hey. Can I use your restroom
real quick?

Everyone hurry!

And file your PTO and over time
requests while we still can!

The lights! What is going on?
Gammera!

Oh! I am really having a
blast in this town.

My therapist was right. I need
to travel more. Oh it was fun.

Yeah, you like that?
That's not for being 5G.

I refuse to die in this lame hatchback.

While strolling through the
rubble one day!

Ho! Ho!

Smashing everything in my way!

This doesn't count as my
lunch break!

Gammera? That's not very nice.
No.

Authorities have ordered those not
in the immediately threatened area.

To pick up guitars and jam!

Outlying areas will receive
evacuation instructions...

Tosho? Did you hear me?
I need some help.

Do not attempt to leave on
your own.

Kill them all and we shall
build a new turtle world.

Don't do that! Listen to me!
Gammera!

You must not!

Well, maybe I'll take a water
color class.

Try creating instead of
destroying for a little while.

Yeah, you'd be mad too if
your mom left you

and your 80 brothers and sisters buried in a
hole on the beach in the middle of the night.

Oh. She wore her cutest little
flame retardant skirt suit.

Have you seen Tosho?
I think he went to the river.

The river?

Tosho! Tosho!

Tosho is painting his face
green and putting on lipstick.

Hello big boy!

Tosho stole a train??

So all dressed up. Did they all
flee straight from a job interview?

Hurry! Run!

Oh. Confession. I'm peeing right
now. It is so freeing. Ahhh.

Hey. Will our bullets reach all
the way over into nighttime?

Okay. Get going.

Roll it!!

Whoa. The Norman Krasner of
train horns. Ugh.

Ugghh!!

Our plan is the car will bonk him in the junk
and we'll make a mint on the viral video.

Whoa!! Getting a little singed here.
And to be honest, I smell scrumptious.

Refinery?

O'Neil speaking?

Yes Dr. Hidaka. Yes. We'll try

Dr. Hidaka says to believe in
the power of team work!

For another twenty four hours.

That means we've got to keep blowing gas
down there, until the supply runs out.

All right. Everybody ready now?

Let them roll!

Plan B is to have John Henry challenge
Gammera to a steel driving contest.

Gammera!

Yeah. Yeah.
A little busy here, kid.

Aww. This is gonna look so charming
set up around my Christmas tree.

What?

Well. He'll get the cutest
little turtle-themed funeral.

Layed out in a shell.

Hey! Gammera!

Well hey little buddy! Give me that
list of school bullies we talked about.

Ah. What a day for the intern
to call in sick.

Come here!

Are you nuts? Get out of there!
Come on! No!

They said I'd lose my pension if I let
another kid die in a monster-related inferno.

Let me go!

Ahhh!

I regret screaming like that!
And ever helping a child!

Ah, he's a in a better place.
Harassing the wild life in heaven.

Are you all right, kid?

I think so. All right then.
Come on, let's go.

I just said I was all right.
You don't need to.

Stranger danger! Stranger danger!

Yeah. Sorry we didn't help. Just kind
of seemed like the kid wanted to die.

He's lucky to be alive.

That was a pretty stupid stunt
you pulled back there.

It was not.

I wanted to see Gammera,
that's all.

Uh huh. Well, you saw him all right.

Is he hurt sir?

No he's all right.

Yeah. He's all right. He just had a full blown
psychotic break after releasing his turtle.

So (indistinct) is really
asleep at the wheel, huh?

Meanwhile, the Gammera song band are
doing their third encore at Altamont.

Head out! Line up around that border!

Calling Oshima! Testing!

Yep. This moves pretty much
all I got folks. Right here.

Dr. Hidaka should be in Oshima
by now.

Yes. And we'll be ready here,
as soon as they need us.

Good. Let's hope our plan to
get Gammera to Oshima works.

On D day, Eisenhower said
"Let's hope our plan to

rid the world of naziism by
storming Omaha Beach works".

Ahh! The crate was full of badgers!

This one next? Yeah.
Take up the slack!

All right, you ready? Get going!

Ah, they're loading it into a
United flight. Kid's doomed.

Dr Marassi. Excuse me sir.

A young lady to see you.
Excuse me.

Miss Akura? What are you doing here?

I thought I'd go whale watching.
I'm here to stop Gammera!

Bearded man! But Tosho's gone.

He's been missing all day.

Wait a second. Turtles are really
stupid. Get me out of here!

Just finish unloading.

Hey! Where do you want this stuff?

Take it up to the warehouse.

Drop it off at the turtle
abusing station.

Uh men. We just read the title. Turns out
Gammera is invincible. You can all go home.

That should do it. You think?
Don't you?

Let me go! Let me go!

Alright! Get up there!

What's that? What's going on?

We just found a stowaway sir!

That's what they call
Gammera's dingleberry.

Oh yeah.

Tosho! You shouldn't be here!

I'm sorry. I came here to see
Gammera, that's all.

Kid has definitely drawn pictures of
Gammera pregnant with Sonic's baby.

But you have to behave, you understand?

Mm hmm. I'll take care of
Tosho doctor.

You hungry? Starving.

He's so hungry he couldn't
let her finish her line.

Is everything ready here?
Yes doctor.

Dr. Hidaka? Are you sure this scheme of
yours will lure Gammera to Oshima island?

Practically. Assuming of course his
behavior pattern remains unchanged.

You just discovered he can shoot
fire from his limbs and fly!

Take operation. Everything's
ready on Oshima Island.

Dr. Hidaka!
Get those hoses out there!

Borrowed those hoses from
Stanley Spidowski.

Alright! Take your positions!

If you see Godzilla's weiner
son, shoot to kill!

Yes. As soon as it's ready.

Mm hmm. Of course. Yes.

That's fine. Goodbye.

My dry cleaning. Hey!
How's the war going?

Sakura! Good news! Tosho is
safe on Oshima Island.

Oh my! Tosho is alright? Yes.

Now watch this. They're nuking
some dump called Oshima Island.

Ah. The Titanic and The Edmund
Fitzergald. Here to save the kid! Oh.

Oh oh boy.

Yes professor?

Phase two can begin.
The ships are here.

Uh? Did pulling out some hoses
really warrant being called phase one?

Immediately. Thank you, Doctor.

Alright General. They're ready.

Thank you.

Sergeant! Proceed!

I'm starting to worry
Gammera's never

gonna put on a backwards hat
and rap.

Open fire!

The extra "M" in Gammera is for
miss, when you fire at Gammera.

Ah. Store brand fire?
I'm not eating that.

Gammera's Jim Halpert impression.

All right, fine.

But when I wreck your sewer system
tomorrow, it is not my fault.

Look! He's moving.
It's going to work.

Yes.

Congratulations. Thank you Noboyo.

It's Hack-Gam!

Waka waka waka waka!

Gammera is following the path of
fire to Oshima! So we did it!

He's on his way here.

Wait. He's coming here?? No!
Send him to Korea!

Can you see anything?

Is Gammera there yet?

Gammera? No. I'm scoping the
girls' camp across the lake.

Typhoon warning!

Doctor listen! Attention!
Typhoon warning!

Wait. False alarm.

Gammera just farted. Has changed course
and is approaching the Tokyo area.

All shipping is warned to take
shelter immediately.

High winds.

Rain squalls. Dr. Hidaka?
Could this be trouble for us?

I think we're all right.
Once Gammera is here.

Yeah. But you said the same
thing about Godot.

Waiting forever for that guy.

Yeah. The turtle enthusiast is in
about as good of shape as you'd expect.

Turtles don't run!

No! Gammera! It's a trap!

Get back! You're in danger!

Don't care! So delicious! Mmm!

Come on! Gammera!

Okay. Settle down, Tim.

Sorry. I got a little carried away.

You usually do Tim.

Sorry. Sorry.

Tim?

The wind is blowing out the fire.

Oxygen. Noted fire suppressor.

Fire is out.

It's like he's throwing a tantrum
because someone took away his bath toys.

I'm going to Gorgo's.
His mom lets us eat fire!

This blasted typhoon.

Can anything be done, doctor?

Might I suggest, doctor?

We outrun the woman and the boy?

From Plan Z. It's not practical.

Because if we did, there wouldn't be
enough fuel leftover for the plan itself.

See?

You McNugget-eating,
bald eagle kisser!

Dr. Hidaka!

Sabotge! Hey you!

Stop that! Put out the fire!

What are you doing? Are you mad?

I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed.

Let me go!
Don't put out the fire! Listen!

Well, what's the meaning of this?

I was just gonna wash some
clothes in gasoline.

What are you doing?

You know? Like we all do.

Right.

If Gammera sees that,
he'll come back. Won't he?

You're right Taigi. Men!
Light the fire!

Hurry! Wow. My friends never get
on board of my arsons this quickly.

His teeth look like Lisa Simpson's
if she didn't get braces.

From Here to Eternity.
Starring Gammera.

Keep feeding the fire!

Toss those pink lady records
on it!

Whatever Jeff material you
can find.

That's how I react when I get to the bar
just after dollar oyster happy hour ends.

Heh. That was my ex-wife's house.
Heh heh.

Gasoline!
Get more gas from the truck!

The fire's going out! Dr Hidaka!

Please! It's Dr. Hidak.
Oh that's what you said.

It's no use.

I guess I have to marry Gammera.

It's a bit of leap, Tony.

I'm doing it. Gammera!

Look at that! There he goes.

And there's nothing we can do
about it!

Doctor? So close to success too!

Rotten luck.

Traffic on the way to the
airport is rotten luck.

This is more final stage of
the apocalypse luck.

Huh. Now a volcano? Okay guys.
Who broke the mirror?

Sorry folks! The volcano's already
scheduled to fight Joe today.

He's turning. The volcano did it!

We were right!

Hooray! We can die from lava
instead of Gammera!

You know the need for fires
is more of

an erotic thing by this point, folks.

Don't even think about calling
me Dante's Peak.

I'm a volcano.

Still a better catchphrase
than Vanilla Ice's "Yep Yep".

Here comes the plane.
Probably Professor Marassi.

Yes.

Ten minutes and counting

They do not mess around with
their surprise parties.

Gotta be great.

Eruption has subsided Sir.

Not even a live volcano could
keep me away today.

Oh god. He's used that line
20 times already.

Noboyo!
Good morning Professor Marassi.

Tosho! Noboyo! Tosho!

You had me scared half to death!
Tell me later!

Right now we've got to hurry!
Hurry or else we miss everything.

Five minutes and counting.

Kid hasn't been this excited since
Yertle the Turtle's sex tape leak.

Wait until you see this!

Look!
It's incredible!

"It's incredible" is the name
of the

50s sci fi magazine they
lifted this illustration from.

Yes. Without special effects,

movie magic like showing an
elevator was impossible!

(Humming)

Yep. Brilliant. Here they are.

Professor Marassi! Ah! Dr. Hidaka!

Everything is going well I see?

Very well indeed.

By the way.
Where and when the hell are we?

The count is now ten seconds
and holding.

All set? Yes Sir.

Good. Ready ignition and
start step two.

The remix to ignition.
Begin step two.

Dr. Hidaka used to run pyro
for Slayer.

Sorry guys. I'm not hungry
anymore! My limits.

Ready? Tosho!

This is Gammera at this
friendliest to all children.

A big lug.

Putting up a sign that said "Not a
trap" would have been more subtle.

I would kill for this to end with
Gammera stepping into a hot tub.

Open hatches! Flares out!
Hatches open!

Flares out!

Giant novelty dog catcher net ready!

Capsule! Close capsule!

Did the hare put you up to this?
I won that race fair and square!

Activate energizer.

Ironically, the energizer is
powered by Duracells.

Stand by.

Resume count. Ten, nine.

We paid two yen for this
drawing and dammit,

we're getting our money's worth.

Six, five, four, three.

So is that volcano still erupting??

Shh! They've moved on! One, zero.

A rectal thermometer! Hurray!
Mankind is saved!

Then it hits Sputnik and starts
World War Three. It's a success!

Not Gammera. His nephew just
set up his WiFi extender.

Congratulations!

Hurray! Now let's lure Kanye
West into the next one.

This is United Nations radio.

Have you considered a more
interesting station?

Strongly urge!

Plan Z, a triumph of scientific
achievement, is the result of the

combined efforts of all the
nations of the world.

And this guy's huge gloves.
International cooperation.

A major threat to civilization
has been averted.

Recreate that Times Square kiss?

No no.

Well done. You did it.

Well the three of us saw the
beginning and the finish huh?

Only I didn't get a picture.

Ha ha ha! Hundreds are still
pinned under the rubble.

He's on his way to Mars.

Still be lonely.
I think so, Dr. Hidaka.

When I grow up, I'm going to
be a scientist like you.

Then I'll go to Mars in a rocket.

The boy would work as a strip
club janitor until he died.

Gammera!

Sayonara!

Oh. They trapped the Gammera
band on there too.

And Gammera just ate the bass player.

Gammera!

Thanks for joining us everyone!!

And hey! If you watched this riff
anywhere you weren't supposed to,

head to our site and kick in
your fair share.

So, you know?
We can keep making them.

Otherwise we'll send a weird kid

who's obsessed with turtles
over to your house!

Ha ha! Right!
Just like in the movie!

Movie?

Goodbye everyone.

Ahh. Goodbye!

It's time for RiffTrax! RiffTrax!