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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,694 --> 00:00:13,027 Starring Andy Griffith... 2 00:00:13,063 --> 00:00:16,197 with Ronny Howard. 3 00:00:16,232 --> 00:00:20,469 Also starring Eleanor Donahue and Don Knotts. 4 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,960 Andy, ain't you ready yet? 5 00:00:28,995 --> 00:00:31,963 That meeting's due to start in about ten minutes. 6 00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:33,309 I'll be ready in a little bit. 7 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,899 Well, you take longer to get ready 8 00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,368 than anybody I ever knew. 9 00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:37,914 Well, you know how it is 10 00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,516 when you're good-looking. 11 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,440 You know, Andy, I can't understand 12 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,007 about this cannon business. 13 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,543 I just can't understand it. 14 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,656 Oh, Barney, you can't fight progress. 15 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,947 Why do they want to get rid of something 16 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,083 that's become a landmark in Mayberry? 17 00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:54,597 Oh, that old cannon's getting to be an eyesore. 18 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,089 It's all rusty and chipping away. 19 00:00:57,124 --> 00:01:00,525 I know, but I'm used to seeing it there. 20 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,061 I got a good mind to vote to keep it. 21 00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,740 Fine. You vote any way you want to. 22 00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:06,242 That's what the meeting's for. 23 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:07,743 So everybody can decide on what 24 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:08,945 they want to do with it. 25 00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,380 Well, that's what I'm going to do. 26 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,614 I'm going to vote to keep it. 27 00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:12,971 All right. 28 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:15,240 Yes. Going to vote to keep it. 29 00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:18,610 You don't like change, do you? 30 00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,391 As a matter of fact, I don't. 31 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,526 Little bit conservative there, are you? 32 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,350 Well, what's the matter with that? 33 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:26,929 Oh, nothing. I just noticed that 34 00:01:26,953 --> 00:01:29,099 you like for things to stay the same. 35 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,989 Well, lots of people are like that. 36 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,690 I just happen to be one of them. 37 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:33,858 That's all. 38 00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:35,860 I like things to just stay the way they are, 39 00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,862 and if something happens to change it 40 00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:39,097 well, it-it upsets me. 41 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,798 It does? Yes, it does. 42 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,845 You know when they put that stamp machine 43 00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,909 in the post office? That just frosted me. 44 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,304 That bothered you, did it? 45 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,705 Yes, it did. 46 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:50,642 I don't think it's right for the United States government 47 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,755 to be transacting business through a slot machine. 48 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,212 I sat down and wrote a letter 49 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,958 to the Postmaster General about it. 50 00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:57,793 Oh, you did? Yes, I did. 51 00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:58,950 I didn't mail it, though. 52 00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:00,063 Why didn't you mail it? 53 00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,421 I wouldn't buy a stamp from that machine. 54 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:06,002 Barney, I'll tell you the truth. 55 00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:09,161 You are a bird in this world. 56 00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,795 Well, that may be, but I'll tell you 57 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,531 how I'm going to vote on that cannon. 58 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,599 How? 59 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,000 I'm going to vote to keep it. 60 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,079 You just do that. 61 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,647 I don't know how you're going to vote, 62 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,782 but I know how I'm going to vote. Yeah, mm-hmm. 63 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:20,772 Hi, Paw. 64 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:21,818 Oh, hi, son. 65 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,942 Can I leave my school books here? 66 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,844 I'm going over to Jerry Parker's house 67 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,112 and I'll be skating back. 68 00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:28,725 Well, wait, wait, wait, now. 69 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,627 How you going to be skating back 70 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,562 when you don't have any skates? 71 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,119 Well, I'm gonna get 'em. 72 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,920 Jerry and me are making a trade. 73 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,857 His roller skates for my licorice seeds. 74 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,126 Your what? 75 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,828 His licorice seeds. 76 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,663 What are licorice seeds? 77 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,409 And where'd you get 'em? 78 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,267 On another trade with Tommy Farrell. 79 00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:50,736 I gave him my cap pistol. 80 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,203 Your new one? 81 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:55,707 It would have been worth it to grow my own licorice sticks. 82 00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:58,054 You were gonna grow licorice sticks? 83 00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:00,145 Yeah, but it was a fake. 84 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,881 I planted 'em, and nothing came up. 85 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:06,167 You know, Paw, I think Tommy cheated me. 86 00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:11,000 Yeah, I'd say that sums it up pretty good. 87 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:14,025 And so now, you're gonna pawn 'em off 88 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,660 on the next fellow? 89 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,429 And on a better trade, too. 90 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:20,532 Roller skates are twice as good as a cap pistol. 91 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:26,037 Uh, let me, let me tell you something here. 92 00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:28,718 Uh, you know that you've been taught 93 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,341 the Golden Rule... 94 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,322 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you? 95 00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:34,513 Yes, Paw. 96 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,760 You think you've been following that rule? 97 00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:41,085 Sure. Tommy did it unto me, and now I'm doing it unto Jerry. 98 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:47,125 Uh, I-I believe you're bending that rule just a little bit. 99 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,493 Now, the Golden Rule says 100 00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:51,329 that you're supposed to be honest and square dealing 101 00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:52,330 with other folks. 102 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:53,632 Now, telling your friend 103 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,100 that them seeds is gonna grow licorice sticks 104 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,702 well, that's kind of far away 105 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,616 from what you'd call square dealing, 106 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,307 and it's awful close to what you'd call cheating. 107 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:05,343 I didn't tell him that they grow licorice sticks, Paw. 108 00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:07,395 I just didn't tell him they wouldn't. 109 00:04:12,869 --> 00:04:15,387 Well, I got cheated. 110 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,572 Well, now, that still don't make it right, 111 00:04:17,608 --> 00:04:19,674 and I know that you wouldn't feel good 112 00:04:19,710 --> 00:04:21,075 cheating your friend. 113 00:04:21,111 --> 00:04:22,911 Now, I-I'll tell you what to do. 114 00:04:22,946 --> 00:04:24,980 Now, you just keep them licorice seeds 115 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,581 and forget this whole trade 116 00:04:26,617 --> 00:04:28,461 until you got something worthwhile 117 00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,918 to dicker with, all right? 118 00:04:29,953 --> 00:04:33,254 All right. Now just always remember 119 00:04:33,289 --> 00:04:35,724 honesty is the best policy. 120 00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:37,959 You just listen to your Paw, son. 121 00:04:37,995 --> 00:04:40,028 You'll never go wrong on that. 122 00:04:40,063 --> 00:04:42,543 All right, we'll see you, Opie. 123 00:04:48,639 --> 00:04:51,439 If honesty is such a good policy, 124 00:04:51,474 --> 00:04:54,643 how come I'm out a cap pistol? 125 00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:01,249 Wait a minute! 126 00:05:01,284 --> 00:05:02,584 Barney, will you wait a minute? 127 00:05:02,619 --> 00:05:04,819 You don't have the floor. Sheriff Taylor does. 128 00:05:04,855 --> 00:05:06,399 I don't want the floor. I just thought 129 00:05:06,423 --> 00:05:08,968 you'd like to know how I'm gonna vote on the cannon question. 130 00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:10,258 We're not gonna have any voting 131 00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:11,726 till we finish with the discussion. 132 00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:12,839 Now, is that clear? Yes, sir. 133 00:05:12,863 --> 00:05:14,229 Well, go on then, Andy. 134 00:05:14,264 --> 00:05:16,642 As soon as we do vote, though, you wanna know how I'm gonna vote? 135 00:05:16,666 --> 00:05:18,299 No! Now, go ahead, Andy. 136 00:05:18,334 --> 00:05:19,834 Wanna know how I'm gonna vote? 137 00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:20,870 Barney! 138 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,815 I'm gonna vote to keep it. Shh. 139 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:26,174 Well, she just wanted to know how I was gonna vote. 140 00:05:26,209 --> 00:05:27,175 Miss Walker! 141 00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:28,387 I didn't... 142 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:29,377 Barney! 143 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,863 Shh. 144 00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:34,432 Well, all I was tryin' to say is that 145 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,168 the cannon never was in such good shape, 146 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,349 and you remember after last Fourth of July 147 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,883 it certainly didn't get any better 148 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,936 when we busted the muzzle, trying to fire it. 149 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,838 I remember that very well! Okay, let's get on with the voting. 150 00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:47,195 We're not ready for the voting. 151 00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:50,031 We haven't had any discussion on the plaque yet. What plaque? 152 00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,945 Oh, the plaque that would replace our cannon. 153 00:05:51,969 --> 00:05:53,813 Yes, one of our former citizens... 154 00:05:53,837 --> 00:05:55,070 Mr. Milford Philips... 155 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,522 Has generously offered to donate it to us. 156 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,823 Milford Philips? 157 00:05:58,858 --> 00:05:59,824 Yes. 158 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,276 He still has fond memory 159 00:06:01,311 --> 00:06:02,527 for his boyhood days 160 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,396 here in this splendid community. 161 00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:07,248 Well, I guess we've had about enough discussion. 162 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,828 Yeah, let's get on with the voting. 163 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:11,820 Now then, all those in favor of getting rid of the cannon 164 00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:12,821 raise their hands. 165 00:06:12,856 --> 00:06:13,822 Motion carried. 166 00:06:13,857 --> 00:06:15,090 Wait just a second. 167 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,258 You didn't ask for those against. 168 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,738 Barney, the majority rules. 169 00:06:18,762 --> 00:06:19,961 I don't care. 170 00:06:19,997 --> 00:06:22,463 He's supposed to get a count on those against. 171 00:06:22,499 --> 00:06:23,932 All right, all right. 172 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:27,068 Now, all those against it, raise their hand. 173 00:06:30,207 --> 00:06:32,001 Well, why don't you raise your hand? 174 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:35,810 Think I wanna go on record as a troublemaker? 175 00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:37,612 The motion was carried unanimously. 176 00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:38,613 Meeting adjourned. 177 00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:39,814 Wait a minute, Mayor. 178 00:06:39,849 --> 00:06:40,831 Well, what for? 179 00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:41,816 We didn't decide 180 00:06:41,851 --> 00:06:43,284 what to do with the cannon. 181 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,285 Well, that's so. 182 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,903 We gotta make some decision. 183 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,172 Well, you might... 184 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,918 Why not donate it to the state museum? 185 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,241 Yeah, state museum. 186 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,576 That's a good idea. 187 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:54,178 That sad-lookin' thing in the state museum? 188 00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,897 No, state museum, no good. 189 00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:57,248 Bad idea. 190 00:06:57,283 --> 00:07:00,184 You were all anxious to get rid of it, weren't you? 191 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,854 Now you don't know what to do with it, do you? 192 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:05,290 Simple... you just... 193 00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:06,274 Sell it. 194 00:07:06,309 --> 00:07:07,508 That's a good idea. 195 00:07:07,543 --> 00:07:09,927 I suppose we could sell it at auction. 196 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,579 Andy, I appoint you and Barney 197 00:07:11,614 --> 00:07:13,715 as a committee of two to sell the cannon. 198 00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:14,716 But, Mayor... 199 00:07:14,751 --> 00:07:16,734 Meeting's adjourned. 200 00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:22,307 Barney, that was wonderful, wonderful. 201 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,782 Glad you voted my way, Barney. 202 00:07:32,569 --> 00:07:33,818 Well, bucket mouth... 203 00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,488 you know anybody who wants to buy a cannon? 204 00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:15,170 Whoop! That's good enough, right there. 205 00:09:18,274 --> 00:09:21,008 Well, we didn't have much luck trying to sell it, did we? 206 00:09:21,044 --> 00:09:23,345 Might as well just forget it. 207 00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:26,681 Oh, Andy, somebody's bound to come along. 208 00:09:26,717 --> 00:09:29,183 There must be someone who'd like to own 209 00:09:29,219 --> 00:09:31,564 this fine-looking piece of artillery. 210 00:09:31,588 --> 00:09:33,566 We'll find a good place for it. 211 00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:36,591 Don't say forget it. 212 00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:45,667 Uh... Barney? 213 00:09:45,702 --> 00:09:47,201 Yeah? 214 00:09:47,237 --> 00:09:49,303 You know, I believe I know somebody 215 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:52,374 that would be tickled to death to buy this cannon. 216 00:09:52,409 --> 00:09:53,720 You do? Yeah? 217 00:09:53,744 --> 00:09:54,709 For sure? Yeah. 218 00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:55,710 Here? Yeah. 219 00:09:55,746 --> 00:09:56,711 Who? You. 220 00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:57,712 Me? Yeah. 221 00:09:57,748 --> 00:09:58,991 Forget it. Now, Barney... 222 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,455 Oh, Andy, you trying to sell me this cannon? 223 00:10:01,485 --> 00:10:04,318 What would I do with a cannon, for heaven's sakes? 224 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,803 Well, you seem to love it. 225 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,039 Love it? 226 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,874 Oh, no. 227 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:12,977 I mean, well, I... I like it. 228 00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,314 But I... well, I don't love it. 229 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,516 Well, Barney, wouldn't you like to own this cannon 230 00:10:18,552 --> 00:10:20,351 and keep it right in front of your house? 231 00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,931 In front of my house? That's right. 232 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,655 And that way your place would get to be a kind of a landmark. 233 00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:26,168 Sort of a tourist spot. That's it. 234 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,337 And folks would come from all over and just stand 235 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,072 in my front yard and stare at my cannon. 236 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:32,074 That's right. And young'uns would play on it. 237 00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:34,131 Yeah, what do you say, Barney, what do you say? 238 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,332 Forget it. 239 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:36,734 Barney... 240 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:39,287 You got a lot of nerve, trying to sell me a cannon. 241 00:10:39,322 --> 00:10:41,433 What kind of a dumbbell do you think I am? 242 00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:43,777 You beat everything, you know that? 243 00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,994 Well, golly, Barney, 244 00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:51,132 I was just doing what the Mayor asked us to do. 245 00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:55,102 I didn't think there'd be any harm in asking. 246 00:10:55,138 --> 00:10:58,456 You like the cannon, and well, shucks, 247 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,842 I mean, I didn't think there'd be any harm in asking. 248 00:11:01,877 --> 00:11:06,280 Well, I-I'm sorry, Andy. I didn't mean to get riled. 249 00:11:06,316 --> 00:11:10,918 I know you was just doing what you thought was right. 250 00:11:10,953 --> 00:11:13,421 Well, of course there's no harm in asking. 251 00:11:13,456 --> 00:11:16,857 And... I'm not mad... 252 00:11:16,892 --> 00:11:18,759 buddy. 253 00:11:19,795 --> 00:11:21,462 No? No. 254 00:11:21,498 --> 00:11:22,630 Want to buy a cannon? 255 00:11:22,665 --> 00:11:25,316 Forget it! 256 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:35,928 There you go. 257 00:11:39,182 --> 00:11:41,015 Oh. 258 00:11:41,051 --> 00:11:43,184 Hello. 259 00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:44,297 No luck? 260 00:11:44,321 --> 00:11:45,686 Nary a nibble. I don't believe 261 00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:48,056 there's a very brisk market for cannons this year. 262 00:11:48,091 --> 00:11:49,268 Oh, that's too bad. 263 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,926 I do have Barney following up one last lead. 264 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,527 Might amount to something. 265 00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:55,396 I sure could use a cool drink. 266 00:11:55,432 --> 00:11:57,243 Okay. I'll tell you the truth... 267 00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:59,567 Cannon-selling parches a body's throat. 268 00:11:59,602 --> 00:12:02,103 I don't know how many miles we went today, 269 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,538 but I tell you the truth, 270 00:12:03,573 --> 00:12:05,050 I sure am wore out. 271 00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:06,106 Hi, Paw. 272 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,308 Well, hi, Op. 273 00:12:07,343 --> 00:12:08,643 Hi, Miss Ellie. 274 00:12:08,678 --> 00:12:10,144 Can I have some, too? 275 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:11,145 Oh, I guess so. 276 00:12:11,181 --> 00:12:13,047 Miss Ellie, one more straw. 277 00:12:13,082 --> 00:12:14,193 All right. 278 00:12:14,217 --> 00:12:15,927 How was school today, Opie? 279 00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:18,664 I'll accept that. 280 00:12:18,688 --> 00:12:20,754 Oh, there you are, Andy. 281 00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:21,755 Oh, hi, Barney. 282 00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,875 I got an offer from Charlie Ross. 283 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,759 Charlie Ross, the junk dealer? 284 00:12:25,795 --> 00:12:28,107 That's the only prospect we had left. 285 00:12:28,131 --> 00:12:29,208 All right, what's his offer? 286 00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:31,599 He'll take it off your hands for $15. 287 00:12:31,634 --> 00:12:33,279 $15? That's not very much. 288 00:12:33,303 --> 00:12:34,268 Andy... 289 00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:35,781 I know. What else we got? 290 00:12:35,805 --> 00:12:38,172 All right, go collect the 15 from Charlie, 291 00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:40,119 and tell him he bought hisself a cannon. 292 00:12:40,143 --> 00:12:41,942 Well, Andy, we don't collect the $15. 293 00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:45,279 We pay it. 294 00:12:45,315 --> 00:12:46,547 We pay it? 295 00:12:46,582 --> 00:12:49,484 That's the best offer I can get out of him. 296 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,152 We pay him $15, and he'll haul it away. 297 00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,644 May I help you, sir? 298 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,346 Yes, I'd like a tin of pipe tobacco, please. 299 00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:04,548 Fine. Um, how's this? 300 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,717 That's fine. 301 00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:07,434 Say, that's interesting. 302 00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,554 Something I haven't seen in ages. 303 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:10,789 Soap? 304 00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:11,889 No. 305 00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,541 That old copper wash boiler. 306 00:13:13,577 --> 00:13:15,159 Uh, how much do I owe you? 307 00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:16,288 That'll be 25 cents. 308 00:13:16,312 --> 00:13:18,045 Thank you. All right, here you are. 309 00:13:18,081 --> 00:13:19,646 Is this for sale? 310 00:13:19,682 --> 00:13:21,282 Do you want to buy it? 311 00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:23,284 Yes. I'm an antique dealer. 312 00:13:23,319 --> 00:13:25,486 I'll give you $5 for it. 313 00:13:25,522 --> 00:13:26,820 $5? 314 00:13:26,856 --> 00:13:28,222 Well, Mr., Uh... 315 00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:29,474 Mason. Ralph Mason. 316 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,943 Mr. Mason, if you really want to buy it 317 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,511 I guess you can have it. 318 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,346 I don't have much use for it. 319 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:36,447 Fine. Fine. 320 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,783 Here you are. Thank you. 321 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,918 Uh, Mr., Uh... Mason, was it? 322 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,086 Uh, yes, Mason. 323 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:43,766 Mr. Mason, I'm Andy Taylor. Yes? 324 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,734 I'm the sheriff in these parts. 325 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,091 Well, how do you do, Andy? 326 00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,425 How do you do? 327 00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:49,861 This is Barney Fife. 328 00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:51,261 How do you do, Barney? 329 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:52,675 I'm the deputy. Oh, the deputy. 330 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,699 That's right. 331 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:54,848 Uh, Mr. Mason... 332 00:13:54,884 --> 00:13:56,850 as long as you're on a shopping spree, 333 00:13:56,886 --> 00:14:00,087 I believe we've got something you wouldn't want to pass up. 334 00:14:00,123 --> 00:14:01,605 Oh, really? 335 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,107 What is it? 336 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,112 Well, I... 337 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,447 I don't know. 338 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,015 It's-it's very interesting, 339 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,518 but I'm not sure I can find a buyer for it. 340 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,815 Well, now, wait a minute, Mr. Mason. 341 00:14:15,839 --> 00:14:18,439 You're interested in historical treasures, 342 00:14:18,474 --> 00:14:19,741 ain't you? 343 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,291 Historical treasures? 344 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:22,676 Oh, yes, sir. 345 00:14:22,711 --> 00:14:26,363 Like firing the first shot at Fort Sumter and like that. 346 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,399 Really? 347 00:14:30,152 --> 00:14:32,052 Well, I... I don't know. 348 00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:35,233 Oh, there's history written all over this old cannon, 349 00:14:35,257 --> 00:14:36,368 Mr. Mason. 350 00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:38,454 You see that crack right there? 351 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:40,094 Yes. 352 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,707 You are interested in historical cannons, 353 00:14:41,731 --> 00:14:43,593 ain't you? Oh, yes, yes, indeed. 354 00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:47,518 Good, good, well, that crack right there come from a direct hit 355 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:51,222 whilst Teddy Roosevelt was a-draggin' her up San Juan Hill. 356 00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,324 Really? 357 00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,329 What are you making faces for? 358 00:14:58,364 --> 00:14:59,663 We have to sell that cannon. 359 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,432 What are you trying to do, spoil this? 360 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,011 Well, what are you trying to tell him? 361 00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:05,147 You know that cannon was never at San Juan Hill. 362 00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:06,804 Well, how do you know? Were you there? 363 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,551 No! You want to buy this cannon? 364 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,092 No. Well, stop making faces. 365 00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,777 Well, I-I just don't know. I'm not sure. 366 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,456 Oh, yes, sir, Mr. Mason. 367 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,881 Teddy Roosevelt had a lot of cannons, 368 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,166 but this is his very favorite one. 369 00:15:19,202 --> 00:15:23,220 When he yelled "Charge," this is what he charged with. 370 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,790 But I thought Teddy Roosevelt led a cavalry unit. 371 00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,226 How's that? 372 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,044 Well, I understood when he charged up San Juan Hill, 373 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,596 he charged up on horseback. 374 00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,049 Oh, well, now, that's right. 375 00:15:35,085 --> 00:15:38,052 That's right, he did... he did charge on horseback, 376 00:15:38,088 --> 00:15:39,787 dragging this cannon behind him. 377 00:15:39,823 --> 00:15:40,805 Oh? 378 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,274 You see the initials right there? 379 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:44,409 Oh, yeah. 380 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,743 See that "TR"? 381 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,218 Yes. Teddy Roosevelt. 382 00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:53,551 Will you stop that? 383 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,551 Teddy Roosevelt? 384 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:55,731 You know Tracy Rupert 385 00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,666 scratched that on there with a nail. 386 00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:58,656 Well, so what? 387 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,469 Well, you're telling him a lie. 388 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,959 You want to buy this cannon? 389 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,021 No! Well, shut up! 390 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,045 Sheriff? 391 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,045 Yes? 392 00:16:05,081 --> 00:16:06,214 Paw, I never heard... 393 00:16:06,249 --> 00:16:07,281 Oh, you never heard 394 00:16:07,316 --> 00:16:08,944 because you been too busy talking. 395 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:09,933 I've been quiet. 396 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,347 Well, you been looking noisy. 397 00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,237 But, Paw, I still never heard... 398 00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:15,817 Go find the barrel ring, and tell Barney to put it away. 399 00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,019 What barrel ring? Never mind. 400 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,121 Just find one, find one, find one. 401 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:23,413 Now then, uh, Mr. Mason, shall we set down 402 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,460 and do a little serious dickering 403 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,318 about this fine, old, historic piece? 404 00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,622 Him and his Golden Rule. 405 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,490 I ain't been able to stop thinking about it. 406 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,076 I was so mad, I didn't even put away the barrel ring. 407 00:16:36,112 --> 00:16:37,978 What barrel ring? 408 00:16:38,013 --> 00:16:40,364 Oh, the one Opie brought in. 409 00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,401 I did it! 410 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:44,635 I did it! 411 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,681 And hold on to yourselves when I tell you 412 00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:48,250 how much I got for that cannon, 413 00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:49,584 'cause you're going to jump 414 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:50,841 clear out of your skins. 415 00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:55,346 I got $175! 416 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,933 Your skins ain't a-ripping. 417 00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:01,346 Maybe you don't believe your ears. 418 00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:04,005 I got $175 419 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,557 for the cannon! 420 00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:09,971 I'm just not making contact. 421 00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:11,995 Barney told me how you did it. 422 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,849 Oh, well, maybe I did stretch the truth 423 00:17:14,884 --> 00:17:17,404 a little bit, but what's the harm? 424 00:17:18,755 --> 00:17:20,571 Well, it's not like Mr. Mason's 425 00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:21,983 going to be out anything. 426 00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,241 He's a antique dealer, 427 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,476 and he'll just sell it to somebody else 428 00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:27,160 and wind up making even more. 429 00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:36,103 Well, this is a fine howdy-do. 430 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,906 All I did was a little horse trading, 431 00:17:38,942 --> 00:17:41,742 and instead of the town being out $15 432 00:17:41,777 --> 00:17:43,588 to get rid of the cannon 433 00:17:43,612 --> 00:17:47,381 we come out $175 to the good. 434 00:17:48,617 --> 00:17:50,462 You'd think I'd just committed 435 00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,986 a bank robbery. 436 00:18:00,363 --> 00:18:03,780 If that don't beat anything I ever saw in my life. 437 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,119 Where are you going? 438 00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,455 In there to get a cone. 439 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,668 Well, get your cone someplace else. 440 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:16,193 No son of mine is going to patronize a place... 441 00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:18,307 Where'd you get them roller skates? 442 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,764 Same place I got the money 443 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,627 for the cone... From Jerry Parker. 444 00:18:21,651 --> 00:18:23,379 Opie Taylor, do you mean to tell me 445 00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:26,170 that after all the talking I did about the Golden Rule, 446 00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:28,889 you went ahead and traded them licorice seeds, anyhow? 447 00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:30,474 Oh, no, Paw. 448 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:31,942 Well, that's good. 449 00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:35,146 I traded him that cufflink that you gave me the other day. 450 00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:37,848 That old broken cufflink that was on my dresser? 451 00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:38,916 Yes, sir. 452 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,396 And Jerry Parker give you 453 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,703 a good pair of skates and enough money 454 00:18:42,738 --> 00:18:44,382 for a cone for that? Yes, sir. 455 00:18:44,406 --> 00:18:45,706 Well, how do you figure 456 00:18:45,742 --> 00:18:47,975 you was able to make such a good trade? 457 00:18:48,011 --> 00:18:50,661 Well, maybe 'cause he got the idea 458 00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,829 that it was really a button 459 00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:56,467 off the uniform of General George Washington. 460 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,755 That was the idea that he had. 461 00:19:11,334 --> 00:19:13,245 Now, you take them skates off 462 00:19:13,269 --> 00:19:15,114 as fast as you know how. Why, Paw? 463 00:19:15,138 --> 00:19:16,982 Because you're returning them, that's why. 464 00:19:17,006 --> 00:19:18,717 But, Paw... And the money for the cone. 465 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,261 Now, come on, get 'em off. 466 00:19:23,612 --> 00:19:25,947 What's the matter, Paw? 467 00:19:25,982 --> 00:19:29,083 The matter is that I got a idea 468 00:19:29,118 --> 00:19:30,329 about the idea Jerry got 469 00:19:30,353 --> 00:19:32,064 about that cufflink being a button 470 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,933 off of General Washington's uniform. 471 00:19:33,957 --> 00:19:35,067 And the idea I got 472 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,802 is that it's just barely possible 473 00:19:36,826 --> 00:19:39,427 that the idea Jerry got could have come from you. 474 00:19:39,462 --> 00:19:40,494 How about it? 475 00:19:40,529 --> 00:19:42,330 Well... 476 00:19:42,365 --> 00:19:44,009 Now, come on, tell me the truth. 477 00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:45,544 I don't want you lying to me, 478 00:19:45,568 --> 00:19:46,912 on top of everything else. 479 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,053 Okay. It's barely possible. 480 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,657 Do you know what you've done? 481 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,326 You've just broken the Golden Rule 482 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,661 and thrown it right out the window and cheated. 483 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,908 Oh, no, Paw, I didn't cheat at all. 484 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,765 Well, what do you call it then? 485 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,268 Why, being smart, just like you. 486 00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,803 What? 487 00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,939 Sure. When I saw how you dickered 488 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:11,007 with that fellow for the cannon, 489 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,688 I knew how important it is 490 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,211 to make up a good story 491 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,880 to go with whatever it is you're trading. 492 00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:19,950 So I made up the story about George Washington. 493 00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:21,836 Ain't that being smart, Paw? 494 00:20:21,871 --> 00:20:24,071 Well, no, that's not being smart. 495 00:20:24,107 --> 00:20:26,640 That's just lying, lying and cheating. 496 00:20:26,675 --> 00:20:29,955 But didn't you do the same with that fellow, Paw? 497 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,396 Well, well, well, no! 498 00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:33,797 No? 499 00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:35,566 No! 500 00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:37,501 What I did was to build up the product 501 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,236 so it'd be easier for me to sell. 502 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,954 That's what I did. 503 00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,373 Well, well, no, now. 504 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,710 Now, what-what I did is what we call 505 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,795 a little innocent horse trading. 506 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,747 I know. That's what I did. 507 00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,115 Well, now, no. 508 00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:54,285 You see, it's different with you. 509 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,854 With-with grown folks, why-why, we... 510 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:03,160 You know what I think, Paw? 511 00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,395 What? 512 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,711 I think we both broke the Golden Rule. 513 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:12,185 I think you're right, Opie. 514 00:21:12,221 --> 00:21:13,654 Now, I'll tell you what: 515 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,723 You take them skates back to Jerry, 516 00:21:15,758 --> 00:21:17,658 and I got a little fence mending 517 00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,259 to do of my own, all right? 518 00:21:19,294 --> 00:21:20,594 All right. 519 00:21:20,629 --> 00:21:22,563 All right. 520 00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,303 Another root beer float. 521 00:21:30,339 --> 00:21:32,183 Barney, don't you think you've had enough? 522 00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,790 Ellie, you let me worry about that. 523 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,060 But, Barney, four inside of 15 minutes. 524 00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:39,107 Putting all that ice cream and soda in your stomach. 525 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,914 Ellie, if you won't sell it to me 526 00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:42,783 I'll just buy it somewheres else. 527 00:21:42,818 --> 00:21:44,484 All right. 528 00:21:44,519 --> 00:21:48,355 You know, I just can't believe that Andy would do such a thing. 529 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,906 I looked up to that man. 530 00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:51,436 Well, there's one thing, Barney. 531 00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:53,304 He isn't doing this for personal profit. 532 00:21:53,328 --> 00:21:55,107 He's doing it for the good of the town. 533 00:21:55,131 --> 00:21:57,597 Well, that don't make it right. 534 00:21:57,633 --> 00:21:58,799 Oh, Deputy. 535 00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:01,802 I've been looking all over for Sheriff Taylor. 536 00:22:01,837 --> 00:22:03,536 You can save me the trouble. 537 00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:06,940 Here's my certified check in payment for the cannon. 538 00:22:06,976 --> 00:22:09,476 Well, uh, Mr. Mason... you made your deal 539 00:22:09,511 --> 00:22:10,744 with Sheriff Taylor, 540 00:22:10,780 --> 00:22:13,113 and you let him do his own collecting. 541 00:22:13,149 --> 00:22:15,783 Well, it really doesn't matter who accepts it. 542 00:22:15,818 --> 00:22:18,118 It's made out to "The Town of Mayberry." 543 00:22:18,154 --> 00:22:19,552 Oh, Mr. Mason. 544 00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,255 Oh, there you are, Sheriff. 545 00:22:21,290 --> 00:22:22,389 I been looking for you. 546 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:23,468 Well, no need to worry. 547 00:22:23,492 --> 00:22:24,870 I've got that certified check 548 00:22:24,894 --> 00:22:26,238 for you, just as I promised. 549 00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:28,128 Well, you better just keep that. 550 00:22:28,164 --> 00:22:30,130 I'm afraid that's money we can't take. 551 00:22:30,166 --> 00:22:31,564 Why? We made a deal. 552 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,966 Well, I know we did, 553 00:22:33,002 --> 00:22:35,719 but the deal we made is based on lies. 554 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:38,655 Oh? Yeah. Everything I told you 555 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,108 about Teddy Roosevelt and San Juan Hill 556 00:22:41,143 --> 00:22:43,677 and all like that, well, I made that up. 557 00:22:43,712 --> 00:22:45,796 And I have to be honest with you. 558 00:22:45,831 --> 00:22:47,113 Well, I appreciate that, 559 00:22:47,149 --> 00:22:49,333 and I have to be honest with you, too. 560 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,185 I think I can sell it. 561 00:22:51,220 --> 00:22:53,187 That rusty old eyesore? 562 00:22:53,222 --> 00:22:55,973 That old cannon ain't worth $175. 563 00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:57,725 All right. I'll give you 150. 564 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,226 Will that ease your mind? 565 00:22:59,261 --> 00:23:01,645 For a cannon that ain't even been in a war? 566 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,308 Okay, let's make it a hundred. 567 00:23:03,332 --> 00:23:05,399 No. You don't understand, Mr. Mason. 568 00:23:05,434 --> 00:23:06,733 I just can't cheat you. 569 00:23:06,769 --> 00:23:07,913 Well, how about 75? 570 00:23:07,937 --> 00:23:09,047 No. 65? 571 00:23:09,071 --> 00:23:10,182 No. 50? 572 00:23:10,206 --> 00:23:11,505 No. 40? 573 00:23:11,540 --> 00:23:13,073 30. Done. 574 00:23:14,177 --> 00:23:16,576 There you are, $30. I'll have it moved 575 00:23:16,612 --> 00:23:17,895 within a week. 576 00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:20,831 Oh, that's right. I forgot about you having to move it. 577 00:23:20,867 --> 00:23:22,432 That'll cost you at least $10. 578 00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:25,069 I'll just give you $10 back, and that'll make it 579 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:27,187 $20 fair and square all the way around. 580 00:23:27,223 --> 00:23:29,000 Sheriff, I just want to say 581 00:23:29,024 --> 00:23:32,343 this is the darndest business deal I was ever in. 582 00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:34,361 Come back to see us. 583 00:23:34,396 --> 00:23:35,362 Thank you. 584 00:23:35,397 --> 00:23:36,463 So long. 585 00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:38,131 We'll see you. Yeah. 586 00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:40,667 Oh, Andy, you did the right thing, and I'm proud of you. 587 00:23:40,703 --> 00:23:42,147 How was that for horse trading? 588 00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:45,973 When I set out to lose, I really do a good job of it, don't I? 589 00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:47,035 Andy... 590 00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:48,759 Huh? 591 00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:50,494 Well... 592 00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:03,156 I ought never to drink. 593 00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:15,252 Oh, Andy? 594 00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:16,899 Oh, hi. Well, you certainly do look 595 00:24:16,923 --> 00:24:18,934 like a person with something on their mind. 596 00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,658 Oh, I am. I just got this wire from Mr. Milfred Phillips. 597 00:24:21,694 --> 00:24:22,938 Oh, good, I hope that plaque 598 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,606 he's giving the town is on its way. 599 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,474 Yeah, that cannon sure left a bare spot. 600 00:24:26,498 --> 00:24:28,299 Well, maybe you better read this, Andy. 601 00:24:28,334 --> 00:24:29,499 Okay. 602 00:24:29,535 --> 00:24:31,768 "Mayberry Town Council. 603 00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:33,838 "Have reconsidered giving plaque. 604 00:24:33,873 --> 00:24:35,940 "Have found something much better 605 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,875 "and more fitting for a town. 606 00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:40,410 "Am sending you genuine Civil War cannon 607 00:24:40,446 --> 00:24:42,079 "with cracked iron muzzle 608 00:24:42,114 --> 00:24:45,682 from actual combat at San Juan Hill"?! 39773

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