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Starring Andy Griffith...
2
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with Ronny Howard.
3
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Also starring Eleanor
Donahue and Don Knotts.
4
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Andy, ain't you ready yet?
5
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That meeting's due to
start in about ten minutes.
6
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I'll be ready in a little bit.
7
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Well, you take
longer to get ready
8
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than anybody I ever knew.
9
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Well, you know how it is
10
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when you're good-looking.
11
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You know, Andy,
I can't understand
12
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about this cannon business.
13
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I just can't understand it.
14
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Oh, Barney, you
can't fight progress.
15
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Why do they want
to get rid of something
16
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that's become a
landmark in Mayberry?
17
00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:54,597
Oh, that old cannon's
getting to be an eyesore.
18
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,089
It's all rusty and
chipping away.
19
00:00:57,124 --> 00:01:00,525
I know, but I'm used
to seeing it there.
20
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,061
I got a good mind
to vote to keep it.
21
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,740
Fine. You vote any
way you want to.
22
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That's what the meeting's for.
23
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:07,743
So everybody can decide on what
24
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:08,945
they want to do with it.
25
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,380
Well, that's what
I'm going to do.
26
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,614
I'm going to vote to keep it.
27
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All right.
28
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:15,240
Yes. Going to vote to keep it.
29
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:18,610
You don't like change, do you?
30
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As a matter of fact, I don't.
31
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,526
Little bit conservative
there, are you?
32
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,350
Well, what's the
matter with that?
33
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Oh, nothing. I just noticed that
34
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you like for things
to stay the same.
35
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,989
Well, lots of
people are like that.
36
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I just happen to be one of them.
37
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That's all.
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I like things to just
stay the way they are,
39
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and if something
happens to change it
40
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:39,097
well, it-it upsets me.
41
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,798
It does? Yes, it does.
42
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,845
You know when they
put that stamp machine
43
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,909
in the post office?
That just frosted me.
44
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,304
That bothered you, did it?
45
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,705
Yes, it did.
46
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I don't think it's right for the
United States government
47
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to be transacting business
through a slot machine.
48
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I sat down and wrote a letter
49
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to the Postmaster
General about it.
50
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Oh, you did? Yes, I did.
51
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I didn't mail it, though.
52
00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:00,063
Why didn't you mail it?
53
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,421
I wouldn't buy a stamp
from that machine.
54
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:06,002
Barney, I'll tell you the truth.
55
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:09,161
You are a bird in this world.
56
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,795
Well, that may
be, but I'll tell you
57
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how I'm going to
vote on that cannon.
58
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,599
How?
59
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,000
I'm going to vote to keep it.
60
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,079
You just do that.
61
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,647
I don't know how
you're going to vote,
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00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,782
but I know how I'm going
to vote. Yeah, mm-hmm.
63
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Hi, Paw.
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00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:21,818
Oh, hi, son.
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00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,942
Can I leave my
school books here?
66
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I'm going over to
Jerry Parker's house
67
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,112
and I'll be skating back.
68
00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:28,725
Well, wait, wait, wait, now.
69
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,627
How you going to be skating back
70
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,562
when you don't have any skates?
71
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,119
Well, I'm gonna get 'em.
72
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,920
Jerry and me are making a trade.
73
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His roller skates
for my licorice seeds.
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00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,126
Your what?
75
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,828
His licorice seeds.
76
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,663
What are licorice seeds?
77
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,409
And where'd you get 'em?
78
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,267
On another trade
with Tommy Farrell.
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00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:50,736
I gave him my cap pistol.
80
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,203
Your new one?
81
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:55,707
It would have been worth it
to grow my own licorice sticks.
82
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:58,054
You were gonna
grow licorice sticks?
83
00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:00,145
Yeah, but it was a fake.
84
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,881
I planted 'em, and
nothing came up.
85
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:06,167
You know, Paw, I think
Tommy cheated me.
86
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:11,000
Yeah, I'd say that
sums it up pretty good.
87
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:14,025
And so now, you're
gonna pawn 'em off
88
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,660
on the next fellow?
89
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,429
And on a better trade, too.
90
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:20,532
Roller skates are twice
as good as a cap pistol.
91
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:26,037
Uh, let me, let me tell
you something here.
92
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:28,718
Uh, you know that
you've been taught
93
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,341
the Golden Rule...
94
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:33,322
Do unto others as you
would have them do unto you?
95
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:34,513
Yes, Paw.
96
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,760
You think you've been
following that rule?
97
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:41,085
Sure. Tommy did it unto me,
and now I'm doing it unto Jerry.
98
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:47,125
Uh, I-I believe you're
bending that rule just a little bit.
99
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,493
Now, the Golden Rule says
100
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:51,329
that you're supposed to be
honest and square dealing
101
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:52,330
with other folks.
102
00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:53,632
Now, telling your friend
103
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,100
that them seeds is
gonna grow licorice sticks
104
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,702
well, that's kind of far away
105
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,616
from what you'd
call square dealing,
106
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,307
and it's awful close to
what you'd call cheating.
107
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:05,343
I didn't tell him that they
grow licorice sticks, Paw.
108
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:07,395
I just didn't tell
him they wouldn't.
109
00:04:12,869 --> 00:04:15,387
Well, I got cheated.
110
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,572
Well, now, that still
don't make it right,
111
00:04:17,608 --> 00:04:19,674
and I know that you
wouldn't feel good
112
00:04:19,710 --> 00:04:21,075
cheating your friend.
113
00:04:21,111 --> 00:04:22,911
Now, I-I'll tell you what to do.
114
00:04:22,946 --> 00:04:24,980
Now, you just keep
them licorice seeds
115
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,581
and forget this whole trade
116
00:04:26,617 --> 00:04:28,461
until you got
something worthwhile
117
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,918
to dicker with, all right?
118
00:04:29,953 --> 00:04:33,254
All right. Now just
always remember
119
00:04:33,289 --> 00:04:35,724
honesty is the best policy.
120
00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:37,959
You just listen
to your Paw, son.
121
00:04:37,995 --> 00:04:40,028
You'll never go wrong on that.
122
00:04:40,063 --> 00:04:42,543
All right, we'll see you, Opie.
123
00:04:48,639 --> 00:04:51,439
If honesty is such
a good policy,
124
00:04:51,474 --> 00:04:54,643
how come I'm out a cap pistol?
125
00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:01,249
Wait a minute!
126
00:05:01,284 --> 00:05:02,584
Barney, will you wait a minute?
127
00:05:02,619 --> 00:05:04,819
You don't have the
floor. Sheriff Taylor does.
128
00:05:04,855 --> 00:05:06,399
I don't want the
floor. I just thought
129
00:05:06,423 --> 00:05:08,968
you'd like to know how I'm
gonna vote on the cannon question.
130
00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:10,258
We're not gonna have any voting
131
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:11,726
till we finish with
the discussion.
132
00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:12,839
Now, is that clear? Yes, sir.
133
00:05:12,863 --> 00:05:14,229
Well, go on then, Andy.
134
00:05:14,264 --> 00:05:16,642
As soon as we do vote, though,
you wanna know how I'm gonna vote?
135
00:05:16,666 --> 00:05:18,299
No! Now, go ahead, Andy.
136
00:05:18,334 --> 00:05:19,834
Wanna know how I'm gonna vote?
137
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Barney!
138
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,815
I'm gonna vote to keep it. Shh.
139
00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:26,174
Well, she just wanted to
know how I was gonna vote.
140
00:05:26,209 --> 00:05:27,175
Miss Walker!
141
00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:28,387
I didn't...
142
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Barney!
143
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,863
Shh.
144
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:34,432
Well, all I was
tryin' to say is that
145
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,168
the cannon never was
in such good shape,
146
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,349
and you remember
after last Fourth of July
147
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,883
it certainly didn't
get any better
148
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,936
when we busted the
muzzle, trying to fire it.
149
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,838
I remember that very well!
Okay, let's get on with the voting.
150
00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:47,195
We're not ready for the voting.
151
00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:50,031
We haven't had any discussion
on the plaque yet. What plaque?
152
00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,945
Oh, the plaque that
would replace our cannon.
153
00:05:51,969 --> 00:05:53,813
Yes, one of our
former citizens...
154
00:05:53,837 --> 00:05:55,070
Mr. Milford Philips...
155
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,522
Has generously
offered to donate it to us.
156
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,823
Milford Philips?
157
00:05:58,858 --> 00:05:59,824
Yes.
158
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,276
He still has fond memory
159
00:06:01,311 --> 00:06:02,527
for his boyhood days
160
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,396
here in this splendid community.
161
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:07,248
Well, I guess we've had
about enough discussion.
162
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,828
Yeah, let's get
on with the voting.
163
00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:11,820
Now then, all those in favor
of getting rid of the cannon
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raise their hands.
165
00:06:12,856 --> 00:06:13,822
Motion carried.
166
00:06:13,857 --> 00:06:15,090
Wait just a second.
167
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,258
You didn't ask
for those against.
168
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,738
Barney, the majority rules.
169
00:06:18,762 --> 00:06:19,961
I don't care.
170
00:06:19,997 --> 00:06:22,463
He's supposed to get a
count on those against.
171
00:06:22,499 --> 00:06:23,932
All right, all right.
172
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:27,068
Now, all those against
it, raise their hand.
173
00:06:30,207 --> 00:06:32,001
Well, why don't
you raise your hand?
174
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:35,810
Think I wanna go on
record as a troublemaker?
175
00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:37,612
The motion was
carried unanimously.
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00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:38,613
Meeting adjourned.
177
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:39,814
Wait a minute, Mayor.
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00:06:39,849 --> 00:06:40,831
Well, what for?
179
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We didn't decide
180
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what to do with the cannon.
181
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,285
Well, that's so.
182
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,903
We gotta make some decision.
183
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,172
Well, you might...
184
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,918
Why not donate it
to the state museum?
185
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,241
Yeah, state museum.
186
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,576
That's a good idea.
187
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:54,178
That sad-lookin' thing
in the state museum?
188
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,897
No, state museum, no good.
189
00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:57,248
Bad idea.
190
00:06:57,283 --> 00:07:00,184
You were all anxious to
get rid of it, weren't you?
191
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,854
Now you don't know
what to do with it, do you?
192
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:05,290
Simple... you just...
193
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:06,274
Sell it.
194
00:07:06,309 --> 00:07:07,508
That's a good idea.
195
00:07:07,543 --> 00:07:09,927
I suppose we could
sell it at auction.
196
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,579
Andy, I appoint you and Barney
197
00:07:11,614 --> 00:07:13,715
as a committee of
two to sell the cannon.
198
00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:14,716
But, Mayor...
199
00:07:14,751 --> 00:07:16,734
Meeting's adjourned.
200
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:22,307
Barney, that was
wonderful, wonderful.
201
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,782
Glad you voted my way, Barney.
202
00:07:32,569 --> 00:07:33,818
Well, bucket mouth...
203
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,488
you know anybody who
wants to buy a cannon?
204
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:15,170
Whoop! That's good
enough, right there.
205
00:09:18,274 --> 00:09:21,008
Well, we didn't have much
luck trying to sell it, did we?
206
00:09:21,044 --> 00:09:23,345
Might as well just forget it.
207
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:26,681
Oh, Andy, somebody's
bound to come along.
208
00:09:26,717 --> 00:09:29,183
There must be someone
who'd like to own
209
00:09:29,219 --> 00:09:31,564
this fine-looking
piece of artillery.
210
00:09:31,588 --> 00:09:33,566
We'll find a good place for it.
211
00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:36,591
Don't say forget it.
212
00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:45,667
Uh... Barney?
213
00:09:45,702 --> 00:09:47,201
Yeah?
214
00:09:47,237 --> 00:09:49,303
You know, I believe
I know somebody
215
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:52,374
that would be tickled to
death to buy this cannon.
216
00:09:52,409 --> 00:09:53,720
You do? Yeah?
217
00:09:53,744 --> 00:09:54,709
For sure? Yeah.
218
00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:55,710
Here? Yeah.
219
00:09:55,746 --> 00:09:56,711
Who? You.
220
00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:57,712
Me? Yeah.
221
00:09:57,748 --> 00:09:58,991
Forget it. Now, Barney...
222
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,455
Oh, Andy, you trying
to sell me this cannon?
223
00:10:01,485 --> 00:10:04,318
What would I do with a
cannon, for heaven's sakes?
224
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,803
Well, you seem to love it.
225
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,039
Love it?
226
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,874
Oh, no.
227
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:12,977
I mean, well, I... I like it.
228
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,314
But I... well, I don't love it.
229
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,516
Well, Barney, wouldn't
you like to own this cannon
230
00:10:18,552 --> 00:10:20,351
and keep it right in
front of your house?
231
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,931
In front of my
house? That's right.
232
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,655
And that way your place would
get to be a kind of a landmark.
233
00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:26,168
Sort of a tourist
spot. That's it.
234
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,337
And folks would come
from all over and just stand
235
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,072
in my front yard and
stare at my cannon.
236
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:32,074
That's right. And
young'uns would play on it.
237
00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:34,131
Yeah, what do you say,
Barney, what do you say?
238
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,332
Forget it.
239
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:36,734
Barney...
240
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:39,287
You got a lot of nerve,
trying to sell me a cannon.
241
00:10:39,322 --> 00:10:41,433
What kind of a dumbbell
do you think I am?
242
00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:43,777
You beat everything,
you know that?
243
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,994
Well, golly, Barney,
244
00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:51,132
I was just doing what
the Mayor asked us to do.
245
00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:55,102
I didn't think there'd
be any harm in asking.
246
00:10:55,138 --> 00:10:58,456
You like the cannon,
and well, shucks,
247
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,842
I mean, I didn't think there'd
be any harm in asking.
248
00:11:01,877 --> 00:11:06,280
Well, I-I'm sorry, Andy.
I didn't mean to get riled.
249
00:11:06,316 --> 00:11:10,918
I know you was just doing
what you thought was right.
250
00:11:10,953 --> 00:11:13,421
Well, of course there's
no harm in asking.
251
00:11:13,456 --> 00:11:16,857
And... I'm not mad...
252
00:11:16,892 --> 00:11:18,759
buddy.
253
00:11:19,795 --> 00:11:21,462
No? No.
254
00:11:21,498 --> 00:11:22,630
Want to buy a cannon?
255
00:11:22,665 --> 00:11:25,316
Forget it!
256
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:35,928
There you go.
257
00:11:39,182 --> 00:11:41,015
Oh.
258
00:11:41,051 --> 00:11:43,184
Hello.
259
00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:44,297
No luck?
260
00:11:44,321 --> 00:11:45,686
Nary a nibble. I don't believe
261
00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:48,056
there's a very brisk market
for cannons this year.
262
00:11:48,091 --> 00:11:49,268
Oh, that's too bad.
263
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,926
I do have Barney
following up one last lead.
264
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,527
Might amount to something.
265
00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:55,396
I sure could use a cool drink.
266
00:11:55,432 --> 00:11:57,243
Okay. I'll tell you the truth...
267
00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:59,567
Cannon-selling
parches a body's throat.
268
00:11:59,602 --> 00:12:02,103
I don't know how many
miles we went today,
269
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,538
but I tell you the truth,
270
00:12:03,573 --> 00:12:05,050
I sure am wore out.
271
00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:06,106
Hi, Paw.
272
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,308
Well, hi, Op.
273
00:12:07,343 --> 00:12:08,643
Hi, Miss Ellie.
274
00:12:08,678 --> 00:12:10,144
Can I have some, too?
275
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:11,145
Oh, I guess so.
276
00:12:11,181 --> 00:12:13,047
Miss Ellie, one more straw.
277
00:12:13,082 --> 00:12:14,193
All right.
278
00:12:14,217 --> 00:12:15,927
How was school today, Opie?
279
00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:18,664
I'll accept that.
280
00:12:18,688 --> 00:12:20,754
Oh, there you are, Andy.
281
00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:21,755
Oh, hi, Barney.
282
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,875
I got an offer
from Charlie Ross.
283
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,759
Charlie Ross, the junk dealer?
284
00:12:25,795 --> 00:12:28,107
That's the only
prospect we had left.
285
00:12:28,131 --> 00:12:29,208
All right, what's his offer?
286
00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:31,599
He'll take it off
your hands for $15.
287
00:12:31,634 --> 00:12:33,279
$15? That's not very much.
288
00:12:33,303 --> 00:12:34,268
Andy...
289
00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:35,781
I know. What else we got?
290
00:12:35,805 --> 00:12:38,172
All right, go collect
the 15 from Charlie,
291
00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:40,119
and tell him he bought
hisself a cannon.
292
00:12:40,143 --> 00:12:41,942
Well, Andy, we
don't collect the $15.
293
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:45,279
We pay it.
294
00:12:45,315 --> 00:12:46,547
We pay it?
295
00:12:46,582 --> 00:12:49,484
That's the best offer
I can get out of him.
296
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,152
We pay him $15,
and he'll haul it away.
297
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,644
May I help you, sir?
298
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,346
Yes, I'd like a tin of
pipe tobacco, please.
299
00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:04,548
Fine. Um, how's this?
300
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:05,717
That's fine.
301
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:07,434
Say, that's interesting.
302
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,554
Something I
haven't seen in ages.
303
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:10,789
Soap?
304
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:11,889
No.
305
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,541
That old copper wash boiler.
306
00:13:13,577 --> 00:13:15,159
Uh, how much do I owe you?
307
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:16,288
That'll be 25 cents.
308
00:13:16,312 --> 00:13:18,045
Thank you. All
right, here you are.
309
00:13:18,081 --> 00:13:19,646
Is this for sale?
310
00:13:19,682 --> 00:13:21,282
Do you want to buy it?
311
00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:23,284
Yes. I'm an antique dealer.
312
00:13:23,319 --> 00:13:25,486
I'll give you $5 for it.
313
00:13:25,522 --> 00:13:26,820
$5?
314
00:13:26,856 --> 00:13:28,222
Well, Mr., Uh...
315
00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:29,474
Mason. Ralph Mason.
316
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,943
Mr. Mason, if you
really want to buy it
317
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,511
I guess you can have it.
318
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,346
I don't have much use for it.
319
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:36,447
Fine. Fine.
320
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,783
Here you are. Thank you.
321
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,918
Uh, Mr., Uh... Mason, was it?
322
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,086
Uh, yes, Mason.
323
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:43,766
Mr. Mason, I'm Andy Taylor. Yes?
324
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,734
I'm the sheriff in these parts.
325
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,091
Well, how do you do, Andy?
326
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,425
How do you do?
327
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:49,861
This is Barney Fife.
328
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:51,261
How do you do, Barney?
329
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:52,675
I'm the deputy. Oh, the deputy.
330
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,699
That's right.
331
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:54,848
Uh, Mr. Mason...
332
00:13:54,884 --> 00:13:56,850
as long as you're
on a shopping spree,
333
00:13:56,886 --> 00:14:00,087
I believe we've got something
you wouldn't want to pass up.
334
00:14:00,123 --> 00:14:01,605
Oh, really?
335
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,107
What is it?
336
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,112
Well, I...
337
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,447
I don't know.
338
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,015
It's-it's very interesting,
339
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,518
but I'm not sure I
can find a buyer for it.
340
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,815
Well, now, wait a
minute, Mr. Mason.
341
00:14:15,839 --> 00:14:18,439
You're interested in
historical treasures,
342
00:14:18,474 --> 00:14:19,741
ain't you?
343
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,291
Historical treasures?
344
00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:22,676
Oh, yes, sir.
345
00:14:22,711 --> 00:14:26,363
Like firing the first shot at
Fort Sumter and like that.
346
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,399
Really?
347
00:14:30,152 --> 00:14:32,052
Well, I... I don't know.
348
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:35,233
Oh, there's history written
all over this old cannon,
349
00:14:35,257 --> 00:14:36,368
Mr. Mason.
350
00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:38,454
You see that crack right there?
351
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:40,094
Yes.
352
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,707
You are interested
in historical cannons,
353
00:14:41,731 --> 00:14:43,593
ain't you? Oh, yes, yes, indeed.
354
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:47,518
Good, good, well, that crack
right there come from a direct hit
355
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:51,222
whilst Teddy Roosevelt was
a-draggin' her up San Juan Hill.
356
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:53,324
Really?
357
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,329
What are you making faces for?
358
00:14:58,364 --> 00:14:59,663
We have to sell that cannon.
359
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,432
What are you trying
to do, spoil this?
360
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,011
Well, what are you
trying to tell him?
361
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:05,147
You know that cannon
was never at San Juan Hill.
362
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:06,804
Well, how do you
know? Were you there?
363
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,551
No! You want to buy this cannon?
364
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,092
No. Well, stop making faces.
365
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,777
Well, I-I just don't
know. I'm not sure.
366
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,456
Oh, yes, sir, Mr. Mason.
367
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,881
Teddy Roosevelt
had a lot of cannons,
368
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,166
but this is his
very favorite one.
369
00:15:19,202 --> 00:15:23,220
When he yelled "Charge,"
this is what he charged with.
370
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:26,790
But I thought Teddy
Roosevelt led a cavalry unit.
371
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,226
How's that?
372
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,044
Well, I understood when
he charged up San Juan Hill,
373
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,596
he charged up on horseback.
374
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,049
Oh, well, now, that's right.
375
00:15:35,085 --> 00:15:38,052
That's right, he did... he
did charge on horseback,
376
00:15:38,088 --> 00:15:39,787
dragging this cannon behind him.
377
00:15:39,823 --> 00:15:40,805
Oh?
378
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,274
You see the
initials right there?
379
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:44,409
Oh, yeah.
380
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,743
See that "TR"?
381
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,218
Yes. Teddy Roosevelt.
382
00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:53,551
Will you stop that?
383
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:54,551
Teddy Roosevelt?
384
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:55,731
You know Tracy Rupert
385
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,666
scratched that on
there with a nail.
386
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:58,656
Well, so what?
387
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,469
Well, you're telling him a lie.
388
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,959
You want to buy this cannon?
389
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,021
No! Well, shut up!
390
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,045
Sheriff?
391
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,045
Yes?
392
00:16:05,081 --> 00:16:06,214
Paw, I never heard...
393
00:16:06,249 --> 00:16:07,281
Oh, you never heard
394
00:16:07,316 --> 00:16:08,944
because you been
too busy talking.
395
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:09,933
I've been quiet.
396
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,347
Well, you been looking noisy.
397
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,237
But, Paw, I still never heard...
398
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:15,817
Go find the barrel ring, and
tell Barney to put it away.
399
00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,019
What barrel ring? Never mind.
400
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,121
Just find one,
find one, find one.
401
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:23,413
Now then, uh, Mr. Mason,
shall we set down
402
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,460
and do a little
serious dickering
403
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,318
about this fine,
old, historic piece?
404
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,622
Him and his Golden Rule.
405
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,490
I ain't been able to
stop thinking about it.
406
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,076
I was so mad, I didn't even
put away the barrel ring.
407
00:16:36,112 --> 00:16:37,978
What barrel ring?
408
00:16:38,013 --> 00:16:40,364
Oh, the one Opie brought in.
409
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,401
I did it!
410
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:44,635
I did it!
411
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,681
And hold on to
yourselves when I tell you
412
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:48,250
how much I got for that cannon,
413
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:49,584
'cause you're going to jump
414
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:50,841
clear out of your skins.
415
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:55,346
I got $175!
416
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,933
Your skins ain't a-ripping.
417
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:01,346
Maybe you don't
believe your ears.
418
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:04,005
I got $175
419
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,557
for the cannon!
420
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:09,971
I'm just not making contact.
421
00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:11,995
Barney told me how you did it.
422
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,849
Oh, well, maybe I
did stretch the truth
423
00:17:14,884 --> 00:17:17,404
a little bit, but
what's the harm?
424
00:17:18,755 --> 00:17:20,571
Well, it's not like Mr. Mason's
425
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:21,983
going to be out anything.
426
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,241
He's a antique dealer,
427
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,476
and he'll just sell
it to somebody else
428
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:27,160
and wind up making even more.
429
00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:36,103
Well, this is a fine howdy-do.
430
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,906
All I did was a
little horse trading,
431
00:17:38,942 --> 00:17:41,742
and instead of the
town being out $15
432
00:17:41,777 --> 00:17:43,588
to get rid of the cannon
433
00:17:43,612 --> 00:17:47,381
we come out $175 to the good.
434
00:17:48,617 --> 00:17:50,462
You'd think I'd just committed
435
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,986
a bank robbery.
436
00:18:00,363 --> 00:18:03,780
If that don't beat anything
I ever saw in my life.
437
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,119
Where are you going?
438
00:18:09,155 --> 00:18:10,455
In there to get a cone.
439
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,668
Well, get your cone
someplace else.
440
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:16,193
No son of mine is going
to patronize a place...
441
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:18,307
Where'd you get
them roller skates?
442
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,764
Same place I got the money
443
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,627
for the cone...
From Jerry Parker.
444
00:18:21,651 --> 00:18:23,379
Opie Taylor, do
you mean to tell me
445
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:26,170
that after all the talking I
did about the Golden Rule,
446
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:28,889
you went ahead and traded
them licorice seeds, anyhow?
447
00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:30,474
Oh, no, Paw.
448
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:31,942
Well, that's good.
449
00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:35,146
I traded him that cufflink that
you gave me the other day.
450
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:37,848
That old broken cufflink
that was on my dresser?
451
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:38,916
Yes, sir.
452
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,396
And Jerry Parker give you
453
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,703
a good pair of skates
and enough money
454
00:18:42,738 --> 00:18:44,382
for a cone for that? Yes, sir.
455
00:18:44,406 --> 00:18:45,706
Well, how do you figure
456
00:18:45,742 --> 00:18:47,975
you was able to make
such a good trade?
457
00:18:48,011 --> 00:18:50,661
Well, maybe 'cause
he got the idea
458
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,829
that it was really a button
459
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:56,467
off the uniform of General
George Washington.
460
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,755
That was the idea that he had.
461
00:19:11,334 --> 00:19:13,245
Now, you take them skates off
462
00:19:13,269 --> 00:19:15,114
as fast as you know
how. Why, Paw?
463
00:19:15,138 --> 00:19:16,982
Because you're
returning them, that's why.
464
00:19:17,006 --> 00:19:18,717
But, Paw... And the
money for the cone.
465
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,261
Now, come on, get 'em off.
466
00:19:23,612 --> 00:19:25,947
What's the matter, Paw?
467
00:19:25,982 --> 00:19:29,083
The matter is that I got a idea
468
00:19:29,118 --> 00:19:30,329
about the idea Jerry got
469
00:19:30,353 --> 00:19:32,064
about that cufflink
being a button
470
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,933
off of General
Washington's uniform.
471
00:19:33,957 --> 00:19:35,067
And the idea I got
472
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,802
is that it's just
barely possible
473
00:19:36,826 --> 00:19:39,427
that the idea Jerry got
could have come from you.
474
00:19:39,462 --> 00:19:40,494
How about it?
475
00:19:40,529 --> 00:19:42,330
Well...
476
00:19:42,365 --> 00:19:44,009
Now, come on, tell me the truth.
477
00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:45,544
I don't want you lying to me,
478
00:19:45,568 --> 00:19:46,912
on top of everything else.
479
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,053
Okay. It's barely possible.
480
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,657
Do you know what you've done?
481
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,326
You've just broken
the Golden Rule
482
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,661
and thrown it right out
the window and cheated.
483
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,908
Oh, no, Paw, I
didn't cheat at all.
484
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,765
Well, what do you call it then?
485
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,268
Why, being smart, just like you.
486
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,803
What?
487
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,939
Sure. When I saw
how you dickered
488
00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:11,007
with that fellow for the cannon,
489
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,688
I knew how important it is
490
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,211
to make up a good story
491
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,880
to go with whatever
it is you're trading.
492
00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:19,950
So I made up the story
about George Washington.
493
00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:21,836
Ain't that being smart, Paw?
494
00:20:21,871 --> 00:20:24,071
Well, no, that's
not being smart.
495
00:20:24,107 --> 00:20:26,640
That's just lying,
lying and cheating.
496
00:20:26,675 --> 00:20:29,955
But didn't you do the
same with that fellow, Paw?
497
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,396
Well, well, well, no!
498
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:33,797
No?
499
00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:35,566
No!
500
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:37,501
What I did was to
build up the product
501
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,236
so it'd be easier
for me to sell.
502
00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,954
That's what I did.
503
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,373
Well, well, no, now.
504
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,710
Now, what-what I
did is what we call
505
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,795
a little innocent horse trading.
506
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,747
I know. That's what I did.
507
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,115
Well, now, no.
508
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:54,285
You see, it's
different with you.
509
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,854
With-with grown
folks, why-why, we...
510
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:03,160
You know what I think, Paw?
511
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,395
What?
512
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,711
I think we both broke
the Golden Rule.
513
00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:12,185
I think you're right, Opie.
514
00:21:12,221 --> 00:21:13,654
Now, I'll tell you what:
515
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,723
You take them
skates back to Jerry,
516
00:21:15,758 --> 00:21:17,658
and I got a little fence mending
517
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,259
to do of my own, all right?
518
00:21:19,294 --> 00:21:20,594
All right.
519
00:21:20,629 --> 00:21:22,563
All right.
520
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,303
Another root beer float.
521
00:21:30,339 --> 00:21:32,183
Barney, don't you think
you've had enough?
522
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,790
Ellie, you let me
worry about that.
523
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,060
But, Barney, four
inside of 15 minutes.
524
00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:39,107
Putting all that ice cream
and soda in your stomach.
525
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,914
Ellie, if you
won't sell it to me
526
00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:42,783
I'll just buy it
somewheres else.
527
00:21:42,818 --> 00:21:44,484
All right.
528
00:21:44,519 --> 00:21:48,355
You know, I just can't believe
that Andy would do such a thing.
529
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,906
I looked up to that man.
530
00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:51,436
Well, there's one thing, Barney.
531
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:53,304
He isn't doing this
for personal profit.
532
00:21:53,328 --> 00:21:55,107
He's doing it for
the good of the town.
533
00:21:55,131 --> 00:21:57,597
Well, that don't make it right.
534
00:21:57,633 --> 00:21:58,799
Oh, Deputy.
535
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:01,802
I've been looking all
over for Sheriff Taylor.
536
00:22:01,837 --> 00:22:03,536
You can save me the trouble.
537
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:06,940
Here's my certified check
in payment for the cannon.
538
00:22:06,976 --> 00:22:09,476
Well, uh, Mr. Mason...
you made your deal
539
00:22:09,511 --> 00:22:10,744
with Sheriff Taylor,
540
00:22:10,780 --> 00:22:13,113
and you let him do
his own collecting.
541
00:22:13,149 --> 00:22:15,783
Well, it really doesn't
matter who accepts it.
542
00:22:15,818 --> 00:22:18,118
It's made out to "The
Town of Mayberry."
543
00:22:18,154 --> 00:22:19,552
Oh, Mr. Mason.
544
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,255
Oh, there you are, Sheriff.
545
00:22:21,290 --> 00:22:22,389
I been looking for you.
546
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:23,468
Well, no need to worry.
547
00:22:23,492 --> 00:22:24,870
I've got that certified check
548
00:22:24,894 --> 00:22:26,238
for you, just as I promised.
549
00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:28,128
Well, you better just keep that.
550
00:22:28,164 --> 00:22:30,130
I'm afraid that's
money we can't take.
551
00:22:30,166 --> 00:22:31,564
Why? We made a deal.
552
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,966
Well, I know we did,
553
00:22:33,002 --> 00:22:35,719
but the deal we
made is based on lies.
554
00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:38,655
Oh? Yeah. Everything I told you
555
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,108
about Teddy Roosevelt
and San Juan Hill
556
00:22:41,143 --> 00:22:43,677
and all like that,
well, I made that up.
557
00:22:43,712 --> 00:22:45,796
And I have to be
honest with you.
558
00:22:45,831 --> 00:22:47,113
Well, I appreciate that,
559
00:22:47,149 --> 00:22:49,333
and I have to be
honest with you, too.
560
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,185
I think I can sell it.
561
00:22:51,220 --> 00:22:53,187
That rusty old eyesore?
562
00:22:53,222 --> 00:22:55,973
That old cannon
ain't worth $175.
563
00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:57,725
All right. I'll give you 150.
564
00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,226
Will that ease your mind?
565
00:22:59,261 --> 00:23:01,645
For a cannon that ain't
even been in a war?
566
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,308
Okay, let's make it a hundred.
567
00:23:03,332 --> 00:23:05,399
No. You don't
understand, Mr. Mason.
568
00:23:05,434 --> 00:23:06,733
I just can't cheat you.
569
00:23:06,769 --> 00:23:07,913
Well, how about 75?
570
00:23:07,937 --> 00:23:09,047
No. 65?
571
00:23:09,071 --> 00:23:10,182
No. 50?
572
00:23:10,206 --> 00:23:11,505
No. 40?
573
00:23:11,540 --> 00:23:13,073
30. Done.
574
00:23:14,177 --> 00:23:16,576
There you are, $30.
I'll have it moved
575
00:23:16,612 --> 00:23:17,895
within a week.
576
00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:20,831
Oh, that's right. I forgot
about you having to move it.
577
00:23:20,867 --> 00:23:22,432
That'll cost you at least $10.
578
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:25,069
I'll just give you $10
back, and that'll make it
579
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:27,187
$20 fair and square
all the way around.
580
00:23:27,223 --> 00:23:29,000
Sheriff, I just want to say
581
00:23:29,024 --> 00:23:32,343
this is the darndest
business deal I was ever in.
582
00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:34,361
Come back to see us.
583
00:23:34,396 --> 00:23:35,362
Thank you.
584
00:23:35,397 --> 00:23:36,463
So long.
585
00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:38,131
We'll see you. Yeah.
586
00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:40,667
Oh, Andy, you did the right
thing, and I'm proud of you.
587
00:23:40,703 --> 00:23:42,147
How was that for horse trading?
588
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:45,973
When I set out to lose, I
really do a good job of it, don't I?
589
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:47,035
Andy...
590
00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:48,759
Huh?
591
00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:50,494
Well...
592
00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:03,156
I ought never to drink.
593
00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:15,252
Oh, Andy?
594
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:16,899
Oh, hi. Well, you
certainly do look
595
00:24:16,923 --> 00:24:18,934
like a person with
something on their mind.
596
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,658
Oh, I am. I just got this
wire from Mr. Milfred Phillips.
597
00:24:21,694 --> 00:24:22,938
Oh, good, I hope that plaque
598
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,606
he's giving the
town is on its way.
599
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,474
Yeah, that cannon
sure left a bare spot.
600
00:24:26,498 --> 00:24:28,299
Well, maybe you
better read this, Andy.
601
00:24:28,334 --> 00:24:29,499
Okay.
602
00:24:29,535 --> 00:24:31,768
"Mayberry Town Council.
603
00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:33,838
"Have reconsidered
giving plaque.
604
00:24:33,873 --> 00:24:35,940
"Have found
something much better
605
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,875
"and more fitting for a town.
606
00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:40,410
"Am sending you
genuine Civil War cannon
607
00:24:40,446 --> 00:24:42,079
"with cracked iron muzzle
608
00:24:42,114 --> 00:24:45,682
from actual combat
at San Juan Hill"?!
39773
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