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[horns honking]

[rain pouring]

[little girl] Prince Harry! Hariya!

Have you seen my cat?

-Prince Harry.
-[meows]

[thunder rumbling]

[little girl] Prince Harry, where are you?

[playful, suspenseful music playing]

PRINCE "HARIYA" HARRY

-[thunder rumbling]
-[rain pouring]

[groans]

LEO "LECHEROUS" MATTHEWS

Have you seen Prince Harry? My cat!

-My cat!
-[bottles rattle]

-[breathes shakily]
-[little girl] Huh?

[music resumes]

-[breathes heavily]
-[sneezes]

[Leo] I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!

[little girl] Prince Harry.

-[sniffs, gasps]
-[objects clattering]

Fuck off!

YASH "THE JUNKIE" BATRA

[music concludes]

Get the dessert ready!
Get the dessert ready!

[indistinct chatter]

Hurry up! Let's go!

[soft music playing]

-[indistinct chatter]
-Prince Harry!

Prince Harry!

Where is Guppie Ram?
Why isn't he here working?

Guppie Ram is missing since afternoon.
God knows where the hell he is!

[soft music concludes]

-Hurry up! The wolves are here, come on!
-[indistinct chatter]

-New car, sahib?
-Always.

-[chuckles]
-[rain pouring]

-At your service, hukum. [chuckles]
-[chuckles]

This way, sir.

Uh…

Get some sweets for your kids, hm?

RANNVIJAY "THE SHOW-OFF" SINGH

[chuckles]

[Balbir] Today, I've decided I'll stay
miles away from these two candidates.

Their electioneering
is only going to ruin our budget.

That Raja sahib, great style,
orders one Scotch after another.

-Bloody fraud.
-And that waiter chases us to sign for it.

As for Shehnaz,

she's already offered film roles
to more than half the club

just to push her election bid.

See, he doesn't even pick up my call.

I keep trying him endlessly,
he just won’t answer.

And he won't turn up today,
I'm sure of it.

That Bengali woman, she will not rest
until she's made a leftist out of my son.

Come on, Mala,
don't be a typical mommy now.

"The girl is always the vamp!"

Did I say anything wrong, Beeji?

Okay, so you live by yourself
for three years in Kolkata. That's fine.

But once you're back home,
you need to come and stay with us, right?

To live separately here in Delhi,
how does that make sense?

And these days, he's even started
speaking like that Bengali woman.

He says, "A club is a symbol
of privilege and classism."

[instrumental music playing]

[trolley tires creaking]

-[Balbir] What class?
-Yeah! [chuckles]

-Look at us.
-Exactly.

Knocking around
in this eight-year-old piece of junk.

Who offers us an umbrella?

Bloody hell this, since when did it start
raining in November?

Global warning.

-"Warming," Beeji. "Warming."
-It's still a warning.

[little girl] Prince Harry!

Prince Harry.

Prince Harry.

[rain pouring]

Hello, hello, gather around
for the group photo, please.

Please come to the main stage area.
[sniffs]

Listen, Tambola will begin
only after the group photo.

Hi. Namaste, bhai sahib.

[Bhatti] The bar will still be open
after the photo.

-Let's do glasses later.
-[indistinct chatter]

Please come this side now.

[groans, chuckles]

Hey, cutie. Did you find your cat?

[indistinct chatter]

Love kids.

President sahib!
Stop playing the class monitor.

Your tenure is almost done.

That's what I am waiting for, Raja sahib.

Once the elections get done this Thursday,
I'll withdraw.

Guys, the next round is on me!

Sir, you know the drinks are on the house.

[instrumental music playing]

AKASH "THE PITIABLE" DOGRA

[male guest] Hey, Dogra! Join us, yaar.

-Raja sahib!
-[kisses, chuckles]

Sir, what is this, sir?
How can two tickets be enough?

Fine, give me two more,
but don't ask for money.

[Yash] And why is your glass empty?

-Staff!
-Beta!

-There he is.
-What is this?

-Raja sahib's glass should never be empty.
-Never. Hukum. Hukum!

-Always hukum.
-Hukum.

The staff will always call me hukum,
and here's something for the kids.

[chuckles, kisses]

[inhales sharply] I am so proud
of my Yashu. So proud!

You know that place in UK?
The rehab center.

That is just fabulous! Just fab!

Few lacs a month, yaar!
Just a few lacs.

Drugs, wugs, all gone,
all addiction clean!

ROSHNI "THE BULLSHITTER" BATRA

And you know,
it had an indoor heated swimming pool,

scented towels, sushi!
I was like, "You know what?"

"Why don't I also fake an addiction
and get myself admitted?" [laughs]

-[glasses clink]
-Cheers!

[instrumental music concludes]

[indistinct chatter]

-Hello.
-Hello.

-How are you?
-All good.

So my "commie" son has come.

Are you sure I'm yours?
Sometimes, I wonder…

if I was exchanged at the hospital.

[Mala] Not at the hospital, beta.
Now, you've switched.

It's been a whole week
since you came to Delhi,

you haven't bothered to visit me.
You haven't even called me once.

I mean, what are we to you?
We could die tomorrow

and you wouldn't give
a damn about us, isn't it? Isn't it?

-Mommy--
-You have 17 missed calls

from me on your phone!
Do you even check your phone?

-I don't even see a damn blue tick…
-Mommy--

…so you're not reading my messages, beta.

-[Akash] Mommy--
-All I asked for

was to simply attend the Tambola,
just do this for your mother's sake--

I'm here now. Right in front of you. Look.

[exhales sharply]

Let's get a photo taken.

Maa, I don't belong
to this fancy dress competition.

Oh, I see, I see.

If she were here,
you'd suddenly belong, isn't it?

Maa, she's nothing to me anymore, okay?
I have a steady girlfriend.

I see, I see, she's nothing to you.
It's steady, it's unsteady.

-I know everything--
-[Bhatti] Okay, everyone, enough chatting!

Come line up for the photos.

-I am starting Tambola in five minutes.
-What's with this November rain, yaar?

[Bhatti] This is the first and last call!

-The poor farmers.
-Yeah.

-Hi. Yeah! Excuse me.
-Sure.

[Roshni] Hello.

So she really cares about the farmers?

For someone who has risen
from cow dung herself.

SHEHNAZ "THE DIVA" NOORANI

[dramatic music playing]

[camera shutter clicking]

[cellphone camera clicks]

Shehnaz ji, I am so glad
you left your shoot to be here tonight.

By the way,
magenta really suits you, I must say.

Green? Grey. [chuckles]

-Gold.
-[chuckles] That you are.

[indistinct chatter]

Stunning, what's up?

How do you do this? Gorgeous.

[dramatic music concludes]

Where's the silver cake knife?

Arey, how am I supposed to know
where the silver cake knife is?

Go ask another waiter.

Oh, yes. Bloody, my dada ji gave me this,
you know. Original.

-Dada ji gave you this?
-Yes!

-Wow! Looks damn cool.
-Yeah.

Okay, everyone, hold your positions.

Come on, come on, everyone.
Let's go! Hurry up, take the picture.

This side, this side, Bhatti ji…

[hesitates] What's going on?

-Hello, I am still the president, guys.
-Excuse me!

-Your tenure is almost over.
-What do you mean by that?

[Bhatti] Come on.

-Yes!
-One second, one second. Wait for me.

[chuckles] Hello, Mrs. Nayyar,
you're looking gorgeous today.

Could you please move up a bit?

-Just a little bit. Arey, come on!
-[Rannvijay] Okay.

Just…

-[Bhatti] Come, come, hurry up!
-Yes, please.

-[chuckles]
-[cameraman] Please, please, come.

And, everybody, now,
just give me your best smiles. Okay?

-Always the best smile!
-[cameraman] Yeah, like a happy family.

And, Shehnaz, oh, my God.
What an unforgettable smile.

Yes, madam.

Better give your best smile today,
because after the election--

After the elections,
I am going to be very busy, Mr. Singh.

-Mm-hmm.
-Building washrooms

-near the kitchen garden.
-Over my dead fucking body!

If that's what it takes. [chuckles]

-[cameraman] Okay. Guys, ready?
-[Rannvijay] Yeah!

[cameraman] And one, two--

-[glass shattering]
-[cameraman] Oi!

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music playing]

[chuckles] Fuck.

BAMBI "THE WIDOW" TODI

[male guest] Ma'am, are you fine?

[Bambi] Guys, wait.

How can you take the picture
without the prettiest girl in the club?

-Dadi, how are you?
-I am cool!

[soft guitar music playing]

-Beta, so you belong now?
-Mom, let's focus on the photo.

[cameraman] Okay, guys,
no one else remaining? Ready?

-And one, two…
-[camera shutter clicking]

♪ I endured your deceit… ♪

[camera shutter clicking]

♪ Sipping tears
With a smile bittersweet ♪

♪ Breaking promises, deserting me ♪

♪ You walked away ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Innocent, naive baby ♪

♪ Breaking my heart, deserting me ♪

♪ You walked away ♪

[screams]

[music gains momentum]

[music concludes]

Shalini.

-[car engine whirring]
-[groans]

-[Padam] Sir ji.
-Yeah?

May I drive, please?

No, Padam. It's on me.

I made a solemn promise to Shalini,

before I came to Lucknow,
I would learn to parallel park my car.

Just ten days left.

I too had made a solemn promise
that I would get married this year.

Twenty-three girls I checked out,
on average, two per month.

But I haven't even printed invitations.

Because you are checking out the girls.

You need to connect with them.

When connection happens,
the knots untangle themselves.

Sir ji, connection is not going
to help you with your parallel parking.

You need to move a little bit to the left.
Just a little bit.

-[ACP Bhavani] Just a little bit?
-Just a little bit, sir ji. Come.

Yeah, yeah. Coming.

Back up, sir ji, slowly.

Bloody asshole. Motherfucker!

Okay.

[Padam] Hey, take it easy.
It's not the end of the world.

-What's the problem?
-Hey, are you blind?

-You just hit my two-million car, bastard!
-You know what two million looks like?

That piece of junk
is not worth ten rupees,

forget about two million.

Hey, old fuck,
do you have eyes or buttons, huh?

Now, sir, think of it as something
between the two.

-Step out. Out of the car!
-[ACP Bhavani] Coming, coming.

Now, you're screwed.
I am lodging a complaint against you.

-[Padam] Sir, I'll drive you to the cops…
-You bloody mother--

Hey, hey, hey!

Just day before yesterday
he lost his mother.

-Oh. So sorry.
-Sir, do you know, this is Padam Kumar ji.

Do you have any idea what happened to him?

What happened, sir?

He dreamed of joining the police force,

but then his eyesight
turned out to be poor.

He failed the examination.

Now, to the elderly and to women,
he gives driving lessons.

At night, he practices belly dancing.

His father was martyred
while on active police duty.

My father?

-Be kind to him.
-[cellphone ringing]

-Jai Hind, sir.
-[banged car owner] It's all right.

Absolutely, no problem.
Sub-inspector Padam and I are free.

Practicing parallel parking.

[Padam] Everyone, carry on, carry on.
Nothing to see here. Go.

-Which club, sir?
-[Padam] Go, go, go.

[instrumental music playing]

-[Padam] Janab.
-[ACP Bhavani] Hmm?

[Padam] How long do you think
this will take?

It's Diwali night,

and the movers and packers
will be awaiting your arrival.

[ACP Bhavani] And criminals, thieves
and murderers, my departure.

Anyway, Chief sahib insisted
it won't drag on for long. It's an--

Open and shut case, guys.

Your work, my friend, can be so hard.

Now, just see what a useless waste
of time. That too during Diwali.

President sahib,
was it someone's birthday?

[Bhatti] It was our Diwali Tambola night.
A raging success.

Thirty lacs my club made.

No. But the accident was sad.
[clicks tongue]

Very sad. [sniffs] Come, please, come.

The Royal Delhi Club
is one of the country's top-notch clubs.

-[Padam] Yes, yes. Of course.
-[Bhatti] Very exclusive.

Even the presidents of India
have played golf at this club.

There.

[indistinct chatter]

[Bhatti] To become a member,
the fee is 19.9 million, plus GST.

And even if you can afford it,
the waiting period is minimum 20 years.

Even after independence, for many years,

only Britishers were allowed
exclusive membership.

Meaning not even other White people,
you see.

Wow!

We should be proud of something like that.

[sniffs] Exactly. [clears throat]

You won't find such a huge campus
anywhere else in India.

[sniffs, exhales sharply]

Isn't this the same club

that Highway Minister Ruhia ji
wanted to shut down?

[Bhatti] The Highway Minister's loafer son
wore loafers and barged in here.

Look, if you want to wear loafers,

there's many cheap dhabbas
on the highway, go there.

We, very humbly, requested him,
"Kind sir, please wear formal shoes."

Everybody has these kind of shoes,
isn't it? I have ten, 12 pairs myself.

-Prada, Gucci, everything.
-[Padam] What? Pucchi?

He wouldn't listen.
We have 100-year-old rules.

-A hundred years.
-Rules are rules.

[Bhatti] Look,
even they understand this much.

Those loafers should've been on his head
instead of his feet.

-[Padam] Yeah, you're right!
-[Bhatti] And that was it.

Within 30 minutes,
he had a hashtag trending.

#SlavestotheBritishRDC.

#AntiNationalRDC.

Anti-national?

Yes, these days, being anti-national
doesn't require much effort from anyone.

[indistinct chatter]

-[bell rings]
-Boy! Boy!

[birds chirping]

Boy, get my cushion, no!

Come on, fast.

[instrumental music concludes]

-Hey, you!
-[sobs] Sir.

Who gave you permission
to use the member’s washroom?

Sorry, sir. [sobs]

Don't mind, sir.

Normally, this doesn't happen.
Rules are rules.

This is a community bar.
Those kinds aren't allowed here either.

-[man] It's done.
-Move, move.

Please come. Please come.

There's elections in three days,
and he had to die today!

-Please, ACP.
-Oh, no, sir…

Myself, SI Padam Kumar. The ACP…

Sir ji? Sir ji?

Hmm? [claps]

-[Padam] Sir ji.
-Yeah?

ACP Bhavani Singh.

[exhales sharply]

Never mind, never mind. Come.

[suspenseful music playing]

[club doctor] Leo Matthews.
Zumba trainer. So sad.

[metal clanging]

[club doctor] It was quick.

The barbell slipped out
of the deceased's hands,

fell on his windpipe,
and fatally fractured his neck.

[Padam] Time of death?

[club doctor] Between 5:00 and 7:00 a.m.

The exact time can only be determined
by an autopsy,

but in such clear accident cases,
an autopsy is unnecessary.

[Bhatti] Apparently, he an orphan.

Let me try and find his address. Mithun!

[intense music concludes]

All right, Doctor sahib.

You and President sahib sign these forms,
and we'll be done.

We'll have the body picked.

[ACP Bhavani] President sahib!

Can we get a glimpse of this CCTV footage?

[Bhatti] Why's that necessary?

[ACP Bhavani] Just a glimpse.

[Bhatti] That's Raja sahib.
Ranvijay Singh.

One of our most esteemed members.

From the royal family
of Achingad. [sniffs]

And that's gym trainer, Thinsuk.

No, maybe it's Theju.

They both look like they came
out of the same mold.

-[intense music playing]
-[ACP Bhavani] Hmm.

I am sure these camera angles
have blind spots.

-[Bhatti] What's that, sir?
-[ACP Bhavani] Nothing.

Pause, pause, pause.

That's the same sky-blue-colored bottle
that was found near the body.

[Padam] Oh, bhai!

When the balloons waltzed
in front of the CCTV,

what dance were you dancing, huh?

-Normally, it doesn't happen. [sniffs]
-[Padam] Hmm.

You need to check the color
of the balloons?

Oh, pause, pause, pause!

The tail of a cat.

-[intense music concludes]
-[Prince Harry meowing]

-Prince Harry.
-[ACP Bhavani] Prince Harry?

Prince Harry.

For the past 100 years,
we have named every pet in the club

after members of the British royal family
as a tradition.

You see, this club was built
to commemorate King George's arrival.

-Hmm.
-Now, he couldn't come here. Busy man.

But even so, to this day,
that family means everything to us.

-[sniffs]
-Wow, they must be bursting with pride.

-Exactly. [sniffs]
-Mmm…

Now, what do we do about this, ACP?

Will your people clear this or should we?

After all, the members also need
to use the gym.

[ACP Bhavani] President sahib.

What you have witnessed
is not an accident…

-but a murder.
-No, no, no, no, no.

Murders are strictly not allowed
in my club.

Our members are all respected people and--

-And they all have my respect.
-[Bhatti sniffs]

CCTV covered by balloons,

Hariya ji's condition,

and that fainting feeling in my belly,

they all say Leo ji has been murdered.

So, who was the first one
to lay eyes on Leo ji's body?

-[birds chirping]
-[hesitates]

-Sir…
-Um…

I don't think we should speak
without our lawyers.

-Yeah.
-Whatever you deem fit.

Yes, sir?

[bell rings]

-Yes, sir?
-My apologies. Thank you.

I… [chuckles]

-[phone chimes]
-[Cookie] I am so upset, so upset.

I've been drinking since morning.

[Roshni] Relax, Cooks.
We will get a new Zumba trainer.

[Cookie] Dime a dozen.
Who cares about Zumba?

Uh… Original. Cookie Katoch Cocktail.

COOKIE "COCKTAIL" KATOCH

-Beetroot juice and little tequila.
-[ACP Bhavani] I see.

Oh, jeez! Nirmal already uploaded
a memorial photo.

-What a phot of her with Leo, shit!
-[Cookie] What? Show me. Show me.

[gasps] Oh, my God! Look at that lip job.

[Roshni] Show!

[Cookie] Bloody bitch. She'll never
tell us who she went to, isn't it?

You can ask her. She's your friend.

Go ask.

So, as I was talking
about Leo ji's dead body…

[exhales sharply]

-[sighs] You can't imagine.
-Hmm.

[breathes shakily]

Oh, my God! Oh, look, I've got goosebumps.

Hmm.

-Rosh! We need to go for waxing!
-[Roshni] Sure.

[Roshni] No, but listen, during Diwali,
Cinderella is just too crowded.

-I am not going. I am not going.
-Let's go to the club parlor then.

-We will give Ganga a hundred or two.
-Babe…

Dead body, madam. Dead body.

Whose?

That's exactly
what I was telling you about.

At seven o'clock,
the three of us went to the gym.

A three-tier strawberry cake
and under it a dead body?

-And that was only the appetizer, Cooks!
-[Cookie] Oh!

[Roshni] After that,
what happened on Tambola night,

I'm telling you,
you're gonna go crazy listening to that.

[Bambi] Cooks Aunty, why didn't you come?

One too many Patiala pegs or what?

No, no, beta.
Katoch sahib was all hot and horny.

That was it, you know, right?

He's like a…

-horse in bed.
-[chuckles]

Thanks to him, I always miss out
on the action in the club.

Come on, girls. Let's go for it.

-[joint pops]
-[groans]

[exhales sharply]

[intense music playing]

[whispers] Oh! Sorry.

-[Roshni] What are you doing?
-[Cookie gasps] What?

-What am I doing, huh?
-What are you doing?

-My napkin fell down, that's it.
-Your napkin fell down?

-Rosh, don't look at me like that.
-[chuckles] Cooks, I know you.

-No you have a wild imagination.
-Cooks…

-Guys…
-It's just gossip, okay?

Guys!

-What?
-What?

[Roshni] Cooks… Cooks, he's dead.

-[cellphone camera clicks]
-Are you calling the police?

-[whimpers]
-Obvio.

[intense music concludes]

Look at him, my poor Leo.

And, oh, those thighs…

What a waste.

-Oh, how I lusted after them.
-[ACP Bhavani groans]

-[clears throat]
-[clears throat]

[chuckles]

Is it that easy to just kill someone
and get away with it?

Not really, it's extremely nerve-wracking,
even for the most seasoned criminals.

So the BMR must be going
through the roof, na?

Two, three kilos must be lost
just by sweating, right?

What? Then I should definitely consider
murdering someone!

I'll lose some of my belly fat,
my hips will get into shape as well.

-[Roshni] Excellent idea.
-Madam, madam,

you were just saying
that under the strawberry cake

-you found somebody's body? Whose body?
-That was his.

[laughs]

-Who'd murder this guy? [laughs]
-[laughs]

-Guys, it's not funny.
-[laughs hysterically]

Guys, it's not funny.

Cooks Aunty, stop it!

[laughs hysterically]

Sir, he's demented.

-[gasps]
-[Mala] Is that blood?

[Rannvijay] Yuck!

[chuckles] Relax, guys.
It's strawberry sauce.

-Oh!
-[Rannvijay] Oh, my God. Come on.

[ACP Bhavani] During all this,
where was Leo ji?

Leo was hosting the Tambola.

When the lady is flirty at three and zero…

Thirty.

Jaldi five!

[crowd cheering, applauding]

Come on.

[Roshni] The scoop is…

Leo was Shehnaz Noorani's
latest astronaut.

Congratulations!

[ACP Bhavani] Astronaut, madam?

If Shehnaz is the moon,
then astronauts will be there, right?

[laughs]

Astronaut… Is she the famous actress,
Shehnaz Noorani, by any chance?

-A C-grade heroine of B-grade films.
-Hmm!

Two husbands she's divorced already.
Pocketed a fat alimony from both,

and has come and plonked herself
in our Delhi. Bloody witch!

Since then, a whole bunch of astronauts
have landed on the moon.

-[spits, laughs]
-You know what I mean?

So you were watching
through a telescope, Rosh Aunty?

[chuckles] And the fat magnet,
always late. Six and eight, 68!

-Full house! Full house! [cheers]
-[crowd cheering]

And after that
is when the real commotion started.

-Mine as well!
-[Roshni] And Leo said…

Two fat magnets?

Arey!

[Rannvijay] It's all a scam.
How can there be two full houses?

-This old bugger is cheating.
-[Leo] Show me your ticket.

-Listen, you get back!
-Arey, take it easy, uncle.

What are you doing to him?

Hey, who you calling "uncle"?

Bloody item number, PT teacher. Gigolo!

-Just wait.
-[Rannvijay] Who do you think you are?

Worms crawling out of the bloody gutter.

[Cookie] Rats!

He said rats, I'm sure.

Rats crawling out of the bloody gutter.

[Roshni] Cooks, yaar.
You were not even there, right?

Okay, so then you do all the talking.
Keep on yakking.

You don't need me for this.
I am out of here.

Anyways…

after that, that Dogra boy
arrived on the scene…

Cockroaches crawling out
of the bloody gutter.

[Akash] Guys!

-I am Leo Matthews's lawyer, okay?
-[ACP Bhavani] Pause, pause, pause.

So Leo ji's lawyer
was at the Tambola night that day?

Everyone, move aside, move aside.
Akash bhaiya, I'll lose my job.

You had to come to court on a holiday.

Just 30 seconds more, 30 seconds.

-Yeah, please hurry.
-Okay, listen.

The judge will ask for a blood test.
Carry the report with you.

This lab is not expensive.

-[phone ringing]
-[indistinct chatter]

One second, one second.

Akash, Leo has been murdered.

-That MC?
-[Bambi] Yeah.

The police wants to talk to you.

It's Diwali, yaar.
I am going back to Kolkata.

I've to catch a flight in two hours.

Your girlfriend lives with you there?

Koohu.

Koohu?

Sounds like a bird's name.

Can't help it.

Maybe I am destined to end up
with girls with weird names,

Bambi.

[birds chirping]

Sir, this Leo, I mean, the deceased,
I met him just once.

[male member] What's going on?
Why are the cops here?

He's been here for the last two hours.
Get him out!

About three years ago.

-It was just a minor case.
-Hmm. What sort of case was it?

-Cocaine.
-Hmm.

A few minors
from an orphanage were involved.

The orphanage warden was also arrested.

He had a slight limp.

But didn't you proclaim in the presence
of Maharaja Rannvijay Singh

that you are Leo ji's lawyer?

Sir…

-people in this club fear only two things.
-[man] I mean, this is too much.

-Don't worry, sir, I'll handle it.
-Taxes and lawyers.

So I felt Raja ji should
be brought before the court.

I represent Leo Matthews,

and if he wants, he can sue you
and this club for slander,

criminal intimidation
and workplace harassment.

-Okay.
-[old male guest] Let it go, Raja sahib.

We can divide the winnings.
It's okay, I don't mind.

That's exactly what I am trying to say.
Share and care na, yaar, uncle.

Raja sahib never shares his bounty.

[scoffs]

-[Rannvijay] Why the smirk?
-Why are you bullshitting, Hukum?

-[grunts]
-[crowd gasping]

[Rannvijay grunts]

Come, come! You wanna fight? Come!

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music playing]

[energetic music playing]

[indistinct clamor]

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Innocent, naive baby ♪

♪ Breaking my heart, deserting me
You walked away ♪

♪ I endured your deceit ♪

♪ Sipping tears
With a smile bittersweet ♪

♪ Breaking promises, deserting me
You walked away ♪

♪ Baby… ♪

[indistinct clamor]

[instrumental music concludes]

[Akash] And in the middle of this chaos,
Bambi was dancing.

Only Bambi is capable
of something like this.

[music concludes]

[indistinct chatter]

-Upwards?
-Yeah, upwards.

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Innocent, naive baby ♪

♪ Breaking my heart, deserting me ♪

♪ You walked away ♪

[Padam] They have given us this junkyard
to conduct our interrogation.

Sir ji, that bloody asshole, Bhatti…

-[objects clattering]

-[Padam grunts]
-Hm. Mm-hmm.

[ACP Bhavani] If you're done
with cleaning, then Happy Diwali!

-[coughs]
-[instrumental music playing]

Happy Diwali, sir.

[ACP Bhavani] President sahib
is of the opinion

that at least one of you was responsible
for making a protein shake.

But he is unable to say, for certain, who.

Sir, do you think we both look the same?

Yes, I made the protein shake.
Yeah. So?

He's also the one
who placed weights on the barbells.

You always complain about me.

Sir, this Leo fellow,
he does nothing by himself, sir.

He thinks he is over and above us.

Was.

Only him, sir. He had a problem with Leo.

Sir, he used to make way more money
than us.

Plus, all the ladies
demanded only him, sir.

Hey, I am not interested
in those "aunty.coms."

Sir, my girlfriend is 50 times
more beautiful than them.

Wait, I will show you the photo, sir.
Wait, sir.

Minu, sir.

[ACP Bhavani] Did Leo ji
and you know each other?

[sobs]

Just hi, bye type.

MINU "THE CHEAT" DIMRI

Thank you. [blows nose]

-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.

Actually, that aqua aerobics
was my idea, sir.

That Leo, he even snatched
that from me, sir.

-Aqua…
-Aqua aerobics, Padam.

-Water exercises.
-Oh.

That was your idea?
Then Leo stole it from you?

[instrumental music concludes]

[Akash, muffled] Bambi!

Bambi!

You're didn't go, huh?

So, there's a small village north
of Kolkata, it got hit by a cyclone.

There's a primary school
where the, uh, roof caved in.

So, Koohu's gone there
with her volunteer friends.

Shush!

You didn't go.

Dream girl.

All the girls at the club's beauty parlor
are called dream girls.

[intense music playing]

Hair tong burns.

All the curly haired members
want straight hair,

and the straight haired want curls.

Hmm. Did Leo and you know each other well?

Kitchen, waitering, gardening,

in fact, I even babysit the kids
of some of the club members.

I know who was the one who killed Leo.

The cold gets into your bones.

Back in Garhwal, you know,
there was once this man,

walking with an axe on his shoulder.

Shivering thur, thur, thur, thur
in the bitter cold.

Then suddenly, he sneezed violently,
and the axe chopped his head off.

And after that…

[manager] He would always say
such weird, nonsensical things

that he ended up
with the nickname "Guppie Ram."

But after he was diagnosed with dementia,

it's hard to tell whether Guppie ji
is chatting with you

or if the voices in his head
are chatting with him.

[intense music concludes]

Don't you miss…

this place?

[Akash] This is the exact spot
where 19 years ago…

[kids laughing]

…I first laid eyes on the Bambi Todi.

[Bambi chuckling] And I was four inches
taller than you.

When you put on this entire drowning act,

-just to get me to rescue you.
-[Bambi] Please!

Even if I were really drowning,

times weren't so bad
that I'd have a crush on you!

-[chuckles]
-[cellphone beeping]

[Bambi chuckles]

[Rannvijay] That's for you.
Congratulations!

♪ The more I try to forget you ♪

♪ The more you come to mind ♪

♪ The more I try to forget you… ♪

[Bambi] Akash.

♪ I remember you just as much… ♪

What do you want from me?
Why did you call me here?

-I need to talk to you.
-[Akash] What do you wanna talk about?

[crowd cheering]

What do you want to talk about? Tell me.

-Something really important--
-[Anshul] Bambi!

-Can you come here, please?
-Where the hell, yaar?

One second, just wait. Please wait for me.

[indistinct chatter]

♪ As much as I try to console my heart ♪

Happy anniversary, Bambi and Anshul!

♪ I remember you just as much ♪

♪ As much as I try to console my heart ♪

♪ My life slips away ♪

"Darling, are you okay?"

Mom just needs an excuse
to send me this text.

Since I am a widow.

[somber music playing]

[chuckles]

I was planning to come to meet you but…

Mommy said that you and Anshul's mom

had gone to Manali to look for the body.

You could have come after.

Fine, forget that.
One call in three years?

You could have
at least called once, Dogra.

I still remember that phone call.

The police said only 21 bodies were found.

They said four…

four bodies probably got washed away
in the river.

Couldn't believe my luck.

[somber music concludes]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
The rumors were true!

The great Akash Dogra abandoned
his bogus fight against the class system

to go to The Royal Delhi pool
to take a dip.

Have you heard about the Batra boy?

The one who went to rehab?

And ended up teaching the staff
how to take drugs, up the ass?

-[Yash] Hey, fucker!
-Asshole!

-Bloody prick!
-[Akash] Lord of the pricks!

[Yash and Akash chuckle]

Fucker, I've been clean ten months.
Your bro hasn't even touched a cigarette.

-[Akash screams]
-[Yash] What the fuck!

-[chuckles]
-Fuck you, yaar, Bambi!

Sorry, yaar, Batra.

-Yaar, I dropped my phone, yaar!
-Oh, shit.

-Fucking assholes!
-Call me when you get home.

One of those two trainers
must have done it,

-who else?
-Hmm.

[Bhatti] They keep fighting
among themselves.

Theju, Theja, whoever they are.

They both look the same.

No, no. Theju ji is from Karnataka,
Thinsuk ji is from Arunachal Pradesh, so…

Exactly! Whatever.

[Gagan] These British-era club members,

do they consider themselves
the direct defendants of the British?

God knows these so-called liberals…

what other nefarious activities
besides murder they could be involved in

behind those four walls.

If this case
doesn't get investigated thoroughly,

then we'll have to take matters
into our own hands.

Just shut up! Pig!

If this case isn't closed pronto,
our club will be closed down by then.

Ten days.

Would that be pronto enough for you?

I'll adjust. [sniffs]

Thank you!

Let's go!

-[instrumental music playing]
-[water pouring]

[speaks indistinctly]

[music continues]

[bell rings]

-[music concludes]
-[indistinct chatter]

[bell ringing]

All my male tenants
eventually move out of here and leave,

but the taste of my chai
they'll never ever forget!

-[glass clinking]
-They don't forget me either. [chuckles]

Until the ginger is ground
and the tea simmers for a long time,

you don't feel like slurping it all up.

Now, watch.

[soft music playing in background]

Aren't you also from Haryana?

I can tell just by looking
at your moustache.

Cool Jutt boys! [chuckles]

♪ Jutt boys ♪

What energy those Haryanvi songs have.
Hindi songs don't have that charm.

This is the first time
police have come to my house.

We must take a selfie, sir!

Come, sir, come!

Smile, please! [gasps]

[Padam] Anything else
you need me to get you?

-Sir!
-Sir!

You think this is your aunty's home?

Now, watch my tea get stronger
and special!

-Let's go upstairs.
-What?

-Leo ji's room.
-Yeah, sure.

-You know, sir, I've been…
-[Padam] I will deal with you guys later.

[Leo's landlady] Sometimes I've to feed
your constables.

Sometimes I've to make tea for everyone.

One thing I tell you, sir,
our guests are like family.

Oh, bloody!

Everything was fine this morning.

Your constables must have messed it up.

-No one else has come up since morning.
-[intense music playing]

[Padam] You two be ready
for some serious disciplinary action.

Get lost! Go!

-[constable 1] Sir, sorry, sir.
-[constable 2] Sorry, sir!

[Padam] Sir, what are these pictures for?

[ACP Bhavani] These aren't
just pictures, Padam.

They are crucial evidences for the case.

Madam, in all of this mess,

do you feel like
there's something missing?

He used to have this thing with him, um…

You know, that thing which is big?

A computer, a phone, something like that.

Trimmer.

-Tablet.
-[Leo's landlady] Yes, that one.

It was a red-colored tablet.

All day long, he'd sit with that tablet
and keep watching films he'd made himself.

He was also a filmmaker?

-Padam.
-[Padam] Yes, sir.

Leo ji seems to be a spontaneous
and philandering kind of personality.

Wait a minute.

[gasps] That's mine.

I used to come up here all the time.
I must have dropped it.

Uncle, would you please hook me up?

[intense music concludes]

Come on!

-[fireworks cracking]
-But, sir, why don't you wear a uniform?

The uniform creates a barrier
between us and the people, Padam.

Once that barrier is broken,
I… I just become one of them.

Then they might let out
a tiny little detail

which they wouldn't in front of a baton.

What are you saying, sir!
That baton has a magic wand!

[ACP Bhavani] To each their own.

[suspenseful music playing]

[birds chirping]

Kashi, I need to tell you something.

-Leo was blackmailing me.
-What?

[Akash] Bambi, you stole the glasses
from the ACP?

-Yes.
-You're still doing it?

I had given it up for a bit.

But after Anshul's accident, I was…

-I don't know, it started again.
-Started again?

Anything, anywhere, I just nick it.

Honestly, Kashi, I don't even realize!

Frames, gold bangles,
toilet paper, dentures!

-Why?
-Dentures?

Just once.

[suspenseful music concludes]

Bambi, yaar!

Half my life I've spent in returning
the things you've stolen, yaar.

-But this time you weren't there, right?
-[mellow music playing]

So, what now?

Should we tell the Hindi professor?

Not tell him,
we have to return this to him.

Bambi.

I don't trust you. Give it to me.

Give it!

Bambi.

-Mmm.
-[laughs]

-Mmm.
-[laughs]

-Mmm.
-Stop it!

[inhales deeply]

-So, Leo got to know about this?
-[mellow music concludes]

[dramatic music playing]

And you know Mom.
She's always been a mess.

-And you know the people at the club.
-Of course.

If they were to find out, then…
[inhales deeply]

[sighs] Anyway…

-Now what?
-I'm showing you.

-Listen to this.
-["Awara Hoon" playing]

[man singing indistinctly]

-Whenever Leo started playing this…
-[dramatic music concludes]

…it meant, "Show me the money."

[singing continues]

[ACP Bhavani] Hmm.

[singing continues]

-[ACP Bhavani] Hmm.
-[singing continues]

[ACP Bhavani] Hmm.

-[ACP Bhavani] Uh… Forgive me, but…
-[music stops]

…Shalini, uh, has taken away
all the furniture to Lucknow.

-Shalini?
-[ACP Bhavani] Shalini…

-Better half.
-Much better half, Padam.

-[whimsical music playing]
-[chuckles]

[dogs barking in distance]

Sir, so why are you shifting out of Delhi?

-Is it the cold or the pollution?
-The crime in Delhi, Todi.

Shalini ji must be fed up.
Murderers, blackmailers, kleptomaniacs.

-[whimsical music concludes]
-[Akash] Hmm?

Sorry, sir.

I missed my reading glasses.

Hmm.

-Hmm.
-[whimsical music playing]

[ACP Bhavani] Mm-hmm. Well.

[Akash] Sir, uh,
do you remember those kids,

-the one's I released on bail?
-[ACP Bhavani] Hmm?

Leo used to donate money
to that very same orphanage.

-[smack lips] But Leo ji's phone…
-[whimsical music concludes]

…doesn't have any evidence
of blackmailing.

Sir, but my chat?

Leo ji has deleted all his previous chats.

-[chuckles] It's still on my phone though.
-This rumbling in my belly…

is telling me, Padam…

that Leo ji was not blackmailing only you.

[dramatic music playing]

This case keeps getting
more complex, sir ji.

How do we solve it in ten days?

In ten days?

Uh… If in ten days,
I don't report in Lucknow to Shalini

and to the government,
or if my transfer is stayed,

then she'll look for some poet,
get married and leave.

-[laughing]
-[chuckles] Sir.

-[dramatic music concludes]
-They say…

a poet and a detective are two sides
of the same coin.

Absolutely.

One of them weaves in the mystery,
while the other untangles it.

Just like the world's
most fascinating mystery…

-Love.
-Love.

Whoa!

-[romantic music playing]
-[ACP Bhavani] Hmm.

-Looks like you have been on that train?
-[chuckles]

Hmm.

-[romantic music concludes]
-[Bambi] After all these years,

finally, I am gonna gift you a new car.
How about that?

I got a flashback from childhood
all of a sudden.

Now, what did I do now?

I remember how you used to get me
these imported gifts,

so that your standards could be maintained
in your circle.

Noted.

Your standard.
I'll look for a car that fits there, okay?

-Nice, cute, comfy, middle-class car.
-[romantic music playing]

[Bambi] Is that fine?

I am good with this middle-class car.

-[romantic music concludes]
-[traffic whizzing]

[whimsical music playing]

-What?
-[car lock clicking]

[laughs]

[whimsical music concludes]

-[romantic music playing]
-[inhales deeply]

[fireworks cracking]

-[romantic music concludes]
-[suspenseful music playing]

[crickets chirping]

-[indistinct chatter]
-[suspenseful music concludes]

-[Rakesh] He was Lambodhar, actually.
-[ACP Bhavani] Hmm.

-[Rakesh] True to his name, God.
-[birds chirping]

Sir, when we were kids,
he used to always misbehave.

-Hmm.
-Intentionally, deliberately…

-Hmm.
-…so that no one would want to adopt him.

Hmm.

'Cause I'd be left alone, and…

there was no demand for kids like me.

-[dramatic music playing]
-[ACP Bhavani] Hmm.

-Warden ji, those donations?
-That was Leo's hard work, sir.

Through his new job, he had built up
a lot of new contracts.

-Hmm.
-Big people with big hearts.

Mm-hmm.

He told me, "Raks, bro…

these fancy rich people
blow so much money on a bottle of wine,

it's more than my monthly salary."

Hmm.

[dramatic music concludes]

The donations kept coming nonstop, sir.

[Padam] Warden bhai,
those weren't donations.

Your God-like benefactor brother
was actually blackmailing everyone.

This basketball court…

-[chuckles] …I probably donated this one.
-So? [chuckles]

You guys are unbelievable.

-Leo took such a big risk…
-[suspenseful music playing]

…got the funds together.

Is that a joke?
He was a goddamn Robin Hood.

[chuckles] Yeah, right!

[Padam] Madam, do you see
the names of any members here?

-[Bambi] Fuck me!
-Hmm?

-[chuckles] Fuck me!
-What, ma'am?

-And who else is on that list?
-[suspenseful music concludes]

Hmm.

What? There was no blackmail shlack-mail!

The boy was a magician!

UK six to UK four
in three months, like that!

What?

-Size. My size.
-Oh.

-[whimsical music playing]
-[Roshni chuckles]

Cookie's didn't reduce at all, you know.
She gained three kgs. [laughs]

Anyway, when Leo informed me about his,
uh, you know, um, NGO, orphanage,

I made an offer myself, na. I mean, like…

Leo.

Leo.

Don't do this to me.

Hmm? [inhales deeply]

-I'll do anything.
-[Leo] Really?

I will.

Sign the fucking check, bitch!

[kisses]

-Smart.
-[breathes angrily]

-[whimsical music concludes]
-[chuckles]

[Padam] Madam, have you seen this before?

-You found this in Leo's things?
-[Padam] Yes.

-[Roshni] That bitch! Kanchan!
-[dramatic music playing]

[Roshni] Jasmeet.

Guppie Ram ji!

-Guppie ji, here.
-[dramatic music concludes]

If you're so keen on listening
to our conversation, come inside.

Please, don't be shy.

[Guppie] I can't find my Harry anywhere.

[ACP Bhavani] You might find him inside.

-Hey, Hariya! Beta?
-[whimsical music playing]

-Aey, bacha!
-Guppie Ram ji,

-your cat must be there somewhere.
-Aey, beta!

Aww. [clicks tongue]
Our Guppie Ram has become so old now.

When Yashu was a little boy,
how much he used to run after him.

-[Guppie] Aey, bacha!
-[Roshni] Guppie!

-When Yash baba goes to America na…
-Harry!

…I'll give all his polo T-shirts
and summer clothes to you.

Handsome you'll become.

-[music concludes]
-He tends to swallow the wool.

-And the synthetic one, you know…
-[tense music playing]

…it doesn't dissolve. It stays solid.

-So, if that happens, you know…
-Guppie…

is everything okay?

What's wrong?

My Harry is nowhere to be seen.

He must be outside, Guppie.

-Huh?
-He must be outside.

-[footsteps receding]
-[tense music concludes]

Poor people should die young.

[whimsical music playing]

Old age is so hard for them.
[clicks tongue, chuckles]

By the way, I am 48 years old.

Am I allowed to live
until retirement, madam?

Everyone is being so all serious and all.

What? Nobody has got a sense of humor?

-Rich people can't even crack a joke? Huh?
-[whimsical music concludes]

-Is that what you're--
-[cell phone ringing]

[ACP Bhavani]
Yes, Krishnan, what's the news?

-What's that? Pinko?
-[dramatic music playing]

Uh… ACP, I'll leave now.

I… I'll call you back.
I'll call you. Madam.

-Okay, everyone. I'll see you. Uh…
-[ACP Bhavani] Madam! Madam!

Come back, come back. Come.
Come here. Sit.

Do you know what happened, uh,
to Padam one time?

Padam was on night duty.
The poor fellow was asleep.

When he woke up, his trousers, uh--

Weren't there?

-They were, but they were wet.
-[chuckles]

[ACP Bhavani] So, everyone at the station
begin to tease him, make fun of him.

Many days later, Padam discovered
that a sniffer dog had come along.

He took a liking to his pants,

so he left his mark on them,
and… [imitates rapid footsteps]

-[laughs]
-Now, tell me, who was the culprit?

And who was taking the blame?

That, uh…

B-grade heroine said something about me?
Hmm?

-Raja ji did?
-Oh.

That show-off Maharaja, na,

is definitely hiding something
under his shiny sherwani.

I'm telling you that! I'm telling you!

-[dramatic music concludes]
-But Leo ji,

why would he blackmail Raja ji? Tell me.

-Hmm?
-[dramatic music playing]

Well, rumor has it…

that your Maharaja ji
gets a proper "royal salute" every night

from his "dream girl."

Ganga…

-[Bambi] Rosh Aunty, that's not fair.
-[music concludes]

Sir, she's been through a lot.

She used to work at my house,

but her scumbag, piece-of-shit husband,
he used to hit her a lot, sir.

-[suspenseful music playing]
-[Bambi] He left her and went away,

and then I got her a job
at the club too, sir, at the salon.

No idea why all these club members
gossip about her so much.

-Because she's pretty.
-[chair scraping]

[footsteps receding]

These things I can sniff
from a mile away, darling.

And imagine, if this story comes out,

then our Raja ji's honor
will not even be worth a scrap.

Enough of a motive, ACP.

-[suspenseful music concludes]
-[gasps]

Raja ji, we were just try-- [laughs]

We were talk-- Your Highness. [laughs]

[Rannvijay] You ruined my game of golf.

-Now, don't fuck up my card party!
-He's on the list?

[ACP Bhavani] Have a seat, Raja ji.

[Rannvijay] "Hukum!"
"Have a seat, hukum!"

-Hello, sir. Hi, sir.
-[ACP Bhavani] Hello, hello.

-Raja ji, your flare gun?
-Hello. Oh, yes!

[dramatic music playing]

[Rannvijay chuckling]

Keep this in the club cabinet.

-[Thinsuk] Yes, sir.
-Hmm. [exclaims]

[exhales sharply] Hmm.

-That's for you. Keep it.
-[dramatic music concludes]

Keep it, keep it. Go on.
Why are you hesitating, yaar?

Keep it, man. Don't be shy.

-Come on, man, keep it!
-Yes, sir.

I love my staff here.
Always take care of them.

How many years old is the gun, hukum?

Hundred years, inspector sahib.
Hundred years.

-Hmm.
-[Rannvijay] My grandfather,

-Raja sahib Rajyavardhan Singh…
-[whimsical music playing]

…used it to blow off the guptangs
of many, many Englishmen.

-Guptang?
-Balls, Bambi beta, balls!

There are only two in this club,
and both of them belong to me!

-[laughs]
-Ah! [laughs]

-No-balls land. [chuckles]
-[laughs]

-[blows]
-[whimsical music concludes]

-Thank you.
-Thank you. Thank you.

Actually,
those were the golden days, hukum.

-Of rajas and maharajas.
-Yes.

These days, everyone is just stuck
in this mess of elections.

[Rannvijay] You know,
this Madam Noorani, you know,

honestly, I don't even know
why she is contesting this election.

She keeps on shouting,
"Change, change, change!"

Why the fuck change something
which is perfect?

Sorry for the language.

Shehnaz Aunty wants to build
female staff washrooms.

[Bambi] We don't have any at all, you see.

But where does she want to build them?
In place of the kitchen garden?

Rani Vasudha Devi Garden. My beloved wife.

-[dramatic music playing]
-She wants smelly staff toilets there?

It's fucking disgusting!

Nothing will happen
to Vasudha Aunty's garden.

In any case,
you are going to win this election.

-So, you decide. Okay?
-[blows kiss] Love you.

Oh, and, sir, if you need anything at all…

-Hmm.
-…just give me a call.

-I'll sign for it.
-[ACP Bhavani] No, this is enough.

-Bye.
-We done?

No, no, no, no. Hmm.

-The fun part hasn't even begun yet.
-[Rannvijay] Uh-oh.

Yeah, yeah. Come on, come on.

-You're wasting my time.
-[ACP Bhavani] So…

-did Leo ji ever send you…
-[suspenseful music playing]

…a song to, kind of,
try and blackmail you,

or a link to make a donation
to an orphanage or something?

Who the fuck do you think
will blackmail me? Who?

-Bhenchod!
-[gun cocks]

My family has conquered
a mountain of corpses to get here!

Bloody gigolo!

-I dare you to talk about this to anyone!
-It's empty, chutiya.

-[breathes angrily]
-[Leo] Ronnie.

Aren't you getting late for the club?

You still have to pick up
your rented car from the mechanic.

-[breathes angrily]
-What's it gonna be?

Merc or BMW?

Go fuck yourself!

-Hmm?
-Fuck yourself!

I'll fucking fuck you!

-[sighs]
-[suspenseful music concludes]

-[pants]
-Gym.

Gym, yeah. After the gym, you…

-Was there someone with you?
-[suspenseful music playing]

If you want to talk about Ganga,
then do it openly.

Beating around the bush like this
is meant for ladies.

Or have they stopped hiring men
in the police force?

[laughs]

I haven't given you
permission to leave yet.

-Remain seated, Raja sahib.
-[suspenseful music concludes]

-"Remain seated, hukum."
-[tense music playing]

Tell me,
when did your dear wife pass away?

-Four years back.
-Padam.

-Yes.
-Check the orphanage reports to see

if there's a shrimati, uh, Bagula Devi--

-Vasudha Devi!
-Yeah, after Vasudha ji's death,

did he start making donations immediately,

-or was it in the recent months?
-Sure, sir.

-Inspector, I--
-[ACP Bhavani] ACP.

Assistant Commissioner of Police,
Bhavani Singh.

Now, you're welcome to leave, hukum.

Men like me, you know…

look straight in the eye
when they commit murder.

Not like…

Not like?

-[suspenseful music concludes]
-[male director] Cut! Cut! Cut!

-Blood is too fucking fake, man!
-[indistinct chatter]

[groans]

My neck's screwed.
Dada, get me some lime juice, yaar.

[groans]

[whimsical music playing]

[music stops]

[grunts]

Wow.

[whimsical music resumes]

[music stops]

Thank you.

Madam, how did it occur to you
to run for club president?

Would you ever ask a man
this question, ACP sahib?

Perhaps, you didn't get the memo.
It's no longer a man's world.

[whimsical music resumes]

Madam ji, after the Tambola that night,
where were you?

Raja ji sound it pretty certain
that you killed Leo.

He must have threatened
to bring your business, uh…

-Affair. Affair. Out into the open.
-[music concludes]

-[Padam] Am I right?
-[sighs heavily]

-If I were to murder him…
-[suspenseful music playing]

…you wouldn't even find his body.

I'd chop it into pieces
and feed it to the crows.

Crows love human meat. Did you know that?

[crows cawing]

-[suspenseful music concludes]
-[laughs]

-[whimsical music playing]
-[chuckles]

These are dialogues from this film.
It's a delicious character.

Whenever her heart gets broken,
she murders someone.

-[smack lips]
-[whimsical music concludes]

-Leo ji was blackmailing a few people.
-[tense music playing]

He'd ask them to make donations
to Shepherd's Home Orphanage.

The donors' list has your name too.

Where are the files, Leo?

-[cries]
-[Leo laughing]

Shit! [cries]

[Leo] Very nice.

This must be
your life's best performance na?

Hey! [kisses] Should I make a video, huh?

Screw you!

[Shehnaz breathes shakily, grunts]

First, in front of everyone…

accept it.

-I just can't. I have two daughters.
-Is it?

[grunts]

Don't touch me.

[Leo whistling]

[breathes deeply]

[tense music concludes]

You're welcome to check my bank records,
ACP sahib.

I've been donating to Shepherd's
for the past 20 years now.

Nothing to do with blackmail.

What do you think?

-Who could have murdered Leo ji?
-[dramatic music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

You're the one that gets paid
to find that out, ACP sahib.

[female assistant]
Ma'am, your shot is ready.

[dramatic music concludes]

-Uh… Excuse me.
-[hesitates]

-[footsteps receding]
-My… My… [chuckles]

Hmm. Sir ji, shall we?

Yeah, soon. Water. [chuckles]

[Krishnan] Pinko Hathini
is the street name.

-[suspenseful music playing]
-[Krishnan] Very powerful.

Doesn't have any smell.
And the taste too is impossible to detect.

His stomach contains
a minimum of 280mg of Pinko.

Isn't it possible
that this bodybuilder guy

took it to pump his physique up,
and he got pumped out of existence?

Pinko has the opposite effect.
It's an opiate.

Once you take it, it dissolves
and goes to the blood stream directly.

And after that,
the entire system slows down.

The muscles start to feel like jelly
and the bones like rubber.

Meaning a person
can't even lift light objects,

for example, this teacup over here.
Forget about lifting a barbell.

Krishnan, tell me something.

How long after ingesting these drugs
would they have affected Leo ji?

[Krishnan]
This takes affect at bullet speed.

As though your central nervous system,

uh, just got a kick
from a sexy, pink elephant.

Okay, so those, uh, drugs that were found
in that, uh, sky-blue bottle were--

It was a normal protein shake, sir.

But traces of Pinko
were found in one more place.

-In the cat's vomit.
-[chuckles]

-That bloody Prince Hariya is a junkie?
-[suspenseful music concludes]

[Bambi] You should have seen Rosh Aunty.

[chuckles] You just should have seen
her fucking face.

She hadn't the slightest clue,
and the professor totally took her case.

It was really something else.

You really don't have
anything better to do, right?

-Better than a murder investigation?
-Hmm.

No.

Better than a murder investigation.

[whimsical music playing]

Dude.

-What the fuck!
-[girl beggar] Didi, didi.

Please, give me something to eat.
Please, didi.

Didi, can I have this?

[Bambi] Hmm.

-What? I am really stuffed.
-Oh.

Getting away leftovers on your plate
doesn't make you great, Todi.

Aey, Kashi mae--

Return this or the professor
will catch you and put you behind bars.

[whimsical music concludes]

[smack lips] That's exactly
what I was trying to tell you about.

So, Rosh Aunty was all like,

"Raja sahib," and suddenly,
he comes in from the back, her face falls.

That was hysterical.

And just then, ACP got a call
about some Pinki, Pinko something.

And then Raja sahib comes in

-with his flare gun--
-Wait, did he say Pinko?

-Can you let me finish?
-Did he say Pinko?

-[Bambi] Yes!
-Pinko? Pinko Hathini?

-[Bambi] Yes.
-[dramatic music playing]

[Bambi] Once then, Raja sahib…

"Bambi beta, balls…"

-[water rippling]
-[birds chirping]

[ACP Bhavani] Leo ji began his workout.
The day was Sunday.

-What did he do on Sundays?
-[Theju] Upper body, sir.

[ACP Bhavani] Uh… So what's
the first drill in upper body routine?

[Theju] Bench press, sir.

[ACP Bhavani] So, were it not a Sunday,
and had he not worked on his upper body,

-the plan wouldn't have succeeded.
-[Padam] Hmm.

[ACP Bhavani] What can we learn from this?

[grunts] Maybe starting with squats, sir.

-[dramatic music concludes]
-[ACP Bhavani] No.

The killer was familiar

-with Leo ji's routine.
-[suspenseful music playing]

[pants] Sir, I didn't do anything, sir.

Sir, I am not interested in extra money,
and all those Botox barbies.

Sir, I have a girlfriend--

-Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes.
-She's very beautiful, sir.

-Please--
-No, no. I know. Enough. Enough.

[Padam] Sir, 200% he's our guy.

He's the one who prepared the shake.
[pants]

The bottle didn't have
any traces of Pinko, Padam.

Meaning between Leo's death
and our arriving at this place,

-somebody switched the real bottle.
-Hmm.

And by the time we got here,
the whole club was present. Hmm.

-[suspenseful music concludes]
-[gasps]

-[groans]
-[party music playing]

-[Bambi chuckles] That poor ACP.
-[crowd cheering]

[Bambi] He probably has no clue
about this world.

[Akash] Listen, I know you are doing
all of this to spend more time with me.

[Bambi chuckles] Hello, please!

If there is anywhere we can find out
where the Pinko came from, this is it.

I can get you
more potent stuff than Pinko.

This Pinko's just been hyped up
for no reason, man.

The rich and their drama. [laughs]

Check this out.

Ah.

Just two, three pills left, that's all.

If club members want to score this stuff,
where do they-- who do they go to?

Aey, they come to me only. Now,
don't ask me the members' names, okay?

-[laughs]
-Just tell us.

Arey, three years ago,
I had my men sitting in there. AK.

Then suddenly, he vanished.
Into thin air! Whoosh!

[Akash] He was the biggest dealer
around the club. AK bastard!

-[party music concludes]
-You knew this AK guy or what?

Yes, Ajay Kumar. Motherfucker!

-Ajay…
-[traffic whizzing]

Ganga's husband, Ajay Kumar?

-What?
-[suspenseful music playing]

-Were they married?
-Yes!

Fuck-- He used to beat her.

Akash, he used to beat her
every fucking day.

And didn't the guy say
he just disappeared three years back?

God knows how many children's lives
the bastard has ruined.

He was even jailed.
But the fucker got out on bail, yaar.

What now?

Todi, no!
These guys are really dangerous, okay?

Todi, I fight cases
against these drugs now. I am that lawyer.

[mumbles] It's for research.

-It's for research?
-Mm-hmm.

[music becomes whimsical]

Fuck! I don't like this!

Okay. Bambi, I need to tell you something.

Fuck! Oh, fuck! Yash!

I thought the rehab worked.

Either Rosh Aunty doesn't know
about all this, or Leo--

[Bambi] Akash, let's see
what we find at Yash's place.

-[Akash grunting] Abey yaar, Bambi.
-[Bambi grunts]

[Akash] I… I can't even walk straight.

[laughing] And we're breaking
into someone's house.

[music continues]

[breathes deeply]

Oh, God. Bambi.

[car engine rumbling]

[hums]

-[car beeps]
-[sighs]

[music intensifies]

-[door opening]
-[music concludes]

[heavy knocking on door]

[doorbell ringing]

Bro…

Me here, walk…

-Dog. Potty.
-[dramatic music playing]

-Moon-- Moon reflection.
-[chuckles]

-Good windows, man. Good car. Good.
-[Yash chuckling]

-[Akash] Can I… Can I come inside?
-Potty outside, bro.

-Ah!
-[dramatic music concludes]

[laughs]

-Epic party, bro.
-[laughs]

-[Bambi laughs] Too much fun, man.
-[laughs]

-Epic party, bro.
-[whimsical music playing]

Epic party.

You… You enjoy.

-Who turned off the music…
-[music concludes]

-…bhenchod?
-[Bambi laughing]

-[Bambi laughing] "Epic party, bro!"
-[Akash laughing]

-[car engine rumbles]
-[Akash sighing]

Should we tell Professor sahib
about this Batra boy?

We've known him since childhood. Batra.

It will destroy his life, man.

Who knows? Maybe his drugs and this murder
may not even be connected.

Oof. Akash Dogra.

How does such a big heart
fit in your body?

That's why you chop it up
into little pieces all the time,

so it fits into my body, right?

[mellow music playing]

[door lock clicking]

-Bye, Dogra.
-Bye.

[Guppie] Hey, Harry,

-where have you gone, my son?
-[music concludes]

Here, look.
Papa has got some milk for you.

Aey, bacha. Where are you hiding?

Look, I'm walking around
with your milk in my hand,

and you keep wandering off
to God knows where.

-[sizzling]
-What is my cake doing outside?

-What's burning in here?
-[suspenseful music playing]

[screams, cries] Ah! Oh, no!

[cries] Harry! Harry! Oh, no!

[somber music playing]

[birds chirping]

Bambi, can you keep that phone away?

Here.

Akash, remember this
from Yash's room last night?

-[Akash] I have seen it.
-[scoffs] No, you haven't. See this.

Shit! Ajay Kumar?

Ganga's husband.

-Yash's dealer.
-[somber music concludes]

[Akas] He must have supplied
the Pinkos to Yash.

[suspenseful music playing]

I suspect
I'm still on your list of suspects.

-[suspenseful music concludes]
-[Shehnaz] Hmm?

Padam won't give me…

permission to take your name off the list.

-And Mr. Singh?
-He's helpless.

[whimsical music playing]

I was referring
to Mr. Rannvijay Singh, actually.

Oh. [chuckles] Raja ji. Raja ji.

Padam is of the opinion that Raja ji
would look into the eyes of the enemy

and kill him. Like a real man would do.

-[scoffs]
-[suspenseful music playing]

-Man?
-Man.

The world has had enough manliness
from you men for too long, ACP sahib.

And anyway,

all their manliness only comes out at home
before their wives and their children,

or as a part of a faceless mob
in front of the weak and helpless.

Tell Mr. Singh I'd like to see him
give birth to a child

in a burning ghetto
after a 14-hour painful labor.

[cries] And that too with rioters armed
with swords are banging on your door!

[cries, breathes shakily] And then…

-[cellphone ringing]
-[suspenseful music concludes]

-[Akash] Shit.
-Put your phone on silent!

-Where is that warden, Rakesh?
-[indistinct chatter]

[Shehnaz] Leo used to speak
very highly of him.

[suspenseful music playing]

Rakesh ji's missing since yesterday.

-[breathes deeply]
-He's missing.

-Thank you so much for coming, bro.
-[music concludes]

I won't be there to save you
every time, Raks.

Why get drunk and create a ruckus
at the police station?

So, what wrong did I do, bro?

I only went there to tell those people
that I know who it was.

Who killed Leo Matthews.

-[grunts, retches]
-[suspenseful music playing]

-What? You okay?
-Ugh.

-[Rakesh coughing]
-[Akash] You want some water?

-Do you have a smoke, bro?
-Smoke…

I don't smoke.

-Leo ji had a dark-red-colored tablet.
-[Rakesh coughing]

Have you seen it with him?

-Those rich bastards did it together.
-[car tires screeching]

-They all killed him together, Bhavani ji!
-[car tires screeching]

Ah!

-[Rakesh retching]
-Oh, no!

-[car engine halts]
-[Rakesh retching]

-Oh, damn.
-[Rakesh] Bloody fucking murderers!

Looks like you're deeply attached
to this vehicle.

[chuckles]

[car approaching]

[music concludes]

-[Bambi] Rakesh ji!
-[Rannvijay] Hello, hello.

-[Bambi chuckles] Hi.
-[Rannvijay] Hi, hi, how are you?

-All the best for elections.
-Yes, thank you. Vote for me.

-Hey! How are you?
-[grunts]

[screams, grunts] Oh!

-[cat meowing]
-[Padam] Oh!

Sir, let me get a flowerpot here for you.

No need to go to Lucknow,

-you can settle down here.
-[chuckles]

There's a Queen Victoria
for company as well.

Do you know, Padam…

among the staff members who…

wasn't there at the church?

-[Padam] Who?
-[suspenseful music playing]

-[paper rustling]
-[water pattering]

[ACP Bhavani] Guppie Ram ji.

You didn't come
to bid farewell to your friend?

He was a potful of sin!
Stealing secrets from everyone!

Just couldn't keep things to himself.

Here to there. There to here.
Gossiping all the time.

Guppie Ram ji, are you sure
beetroot can handle so much water?

But it's done now! The pot has burst open.

-Just like the other time.
-Other time?

Which other time, Guppie ji?

-[music concludes]
-[ACP Bhavani] Guppie ji?

[gasps, hesitates] Another party's here!

[chuckles] What can I do for you, sir?
Tell me, what can I do for you?

-The other time…
-[hums]

[indistinct chatter]

[suspenseful music playing]

[ACP Bhavani] Ah-ha-ha!

-[music concludes]
-[crowd cheering]

-[party music playing]
-[male guest] Come on! Come on!

Hey, bro. Raja sahib is the killer!

-[male member 1] Yes!
-[male member 2] Idiot!

Say, "Hukum." "Hukum."

[Thinsuk laughing]
He's Bhatti, man, Bhatti.

Here's the 50, bhenchod!

I'm betting 100 rupees on Shehnaz Noorani.

Looks like you have met my daughters,
Shahana and Ira. [chuckles]

[ACP Bhavani]
Shahana ji, Ira ji, Bhavani ji.

-[Shehnaz] For you.
-Arey.

-But I can't even vote for you here.
-[Shehnaz] It's fine. [chuckles]

-[indistinct chatter]
-Your better half…

I'm a single mother,

-and that's more than enough.
-[whimsical music playing]

-[female guest] Hi.
-[chuckles]

-ACP sahib.
-Hmm?

You're completely different
from the detective in my film.

How's that?

Detective Bose always remains undercover.

-Hmm.
-And those cliché dialogues.

"Terrifying blood-thirsty savages!"

But what I love about you, you're real.

The reality is most murderers
aren't the blood-thirsty savage types.

We know them, we're familiar with them.

Very often, we even love them.

Ordinary men, women.

People like me. People like you.

-[whimsical music concludes]
-That's great.

Yet another field
where we're in competition with men.

[both laugh]

-[chuckles]
-See you later.

[suspenseful music playing]

-[music concludes]
-Sir.

Yaar, these artifacts are quite popular.

[chuckles] Sir,
this is all Cookie Aunty's talent.

-[chuckles]
-And also, Cooks Aunty's so generous

that she keeps gifting
all these kalakriti…

-to literally everybody all the time.
-[Cookie] Oh, baby.

We quietly dump them
into the club's storeroom. [chuckles]

Oh. [laughs]

But by the way,
whose statues are these anyway?

Our two candidates.

Oh, really? Which one is Shehnaz ji?

[dramatic music playing]

Oh.

[chuckles] Obviously, this one is Shehnaz!

-I've seen her movie.
-[dramatic music concludes]

[Cookie] Isn't she beautiful?

[Rannvijay] Whatever food is leftover,
pack it and keep it in my car.

Just keep it.
You see that shiny blue Mercedes?

That one. Got it?

[suspenseful music playing]

I'm taking it for the poor.

-I hate wastage.
-You, please pack this.

[Yash shouting]
Have you lost your fucking mind?

Just because your bloody cat is dead,
I should fuck up my stomach?

I ordered sausages,
and you cooked them the same microwave?

Get lost, yaar, Guppie!

[pants] I should water the plants.

[hesitating] But I need to look
for Prince Harry.

Are you all right?

Come, sit here.

Did Yash baba say anything?

-Are you missing Harry?
-[cries]

I killed Harry.

[cries] I must have lost my mind.
How could I have done this?

I burned him in the oven.

You must have left
the oven door open by mistake.

It's not your fault.

If she wins, things will get difficult!
It will get very difficult!

-I--
-[Bambi] Nothing's going to happen,

Guppie.

Everything will be all right.

-[twig snapping]
-Don't--

-[crowd cheering]
-[suspenseful music concludes]

[party music playing over speaker]

Akash, I am very worried about Guppie.

-[shushes]
-[dramatic music playing]

[Bambi] But seriously--

[both breathe softly]

♪ Born to one ♪

♪ Now, taken away by another ♪

♪ Oh, Lord ♪

♪ My Almighty! ♪

♪ Oh, Lord ♪

♪ My Almighty! ♪

[crowd cheers]

-[indistinct chatter]
-Cheers! Cheers to everyone!

[muffled cheering]

Listen, I'll leave first.
You come out two minutes later. Okay?

[kisses]

Yash!

Who could ever tell
that a murder was committed here

-just three days ago?
-[suspenseful music playing]

-Yash!
-[ACP Bhavani] And the murderer

is one of these people.

Who's congratulating himself right now…

-"Murder Mubarak!"
-[suspenseful music concludes]

-[gunshot]
-[tense music playing]

[pants] I know everything
about you, bastard!

You were here much
before me, bhenchod!

-[Akash] Really?
-[overlapping chatter]

-[Padam] Hey, what's going on?
-[Rannvijay] Stop it!

-Calm down.
-[Yash] Fuck!

-How dare you touch me, motherfucker?
-[overlapping chatter]

-[overlapping chatter]
-[Yash] I will sue them!

Don't talk to them, Yash!
Don't talk to them!

[Yash] Asshole, you became a lawyer
with just a correspondence course,

-bhenchod!
-Hey, shut up!

-Asshole!
-You back off!

Hey! I will sue you!
I will sue your family.

[Padam] Hey, step back! Step back!
Move! Move!

-[overlapping chatter]
-[Padam] Move! Stop!

-[overlapping chatter]
-["Awara Hoon" playing over cell phone]

[Bhatti] I'm the president.

[Padam] Move back. Move back.
Raja sahib, move back, please. Back, back.

Come on. Come on.

[Padam] Yes, yes. Madam, that's it.
That's it. Stop, stop.

-Bambi, come, let's go.
-[Rannvijay] Bambi beta.

[Padam] Madam?
Madam, please take care of Bambi.

-[employee] Please, come this way.
-[Padam] Okay, that's it. That's it.

-[employee] Ma'am?
-[Bhatti] Come, come, come.

[Padam] Come on. Keep moving.
This way, please.

[indistinct chatter]

The murderer blew
Guppie Ram's ji head off,

and place the gun in his hand
to make it look like a suicide.

Guppie Ram ji appears to have
fine taste in coffee.

-So many bags of coffee.
-[ambulance siren blaring]

-[dogs barking]
-[tense music concludes]

-Don't. [groans] Stop it.
-Beta!

Just… Don't do that, man!

Yashu, I've spoken to dad already.
There's nothing to worry about.

I will talk to them, na? What is--

-Can you just shut the fuck up?
-[tense music playing]

This matter's way above your station.
Dad will handle this.

-[breathes deeply]
-[Yash] Look pleasant…

and keep your mouth shut.

This much you can do for me, Rosh-- Mom?

[breathes softly]

[ACP Bhavani] Where were you
when you heard

-the sound of the gunshot?
-[tense music concludes]

-Uh…
-Yash baba.

-[traffic whizzing]
-Yash baba?

[dramatic music playing]

[Akash] He's a complete psycho, sir.

Do you know he's taking drugs even now?
Your favorite Pinko Hathini.

And that's why
Leo was blackmailing Rosh Aunty.

That Uttarakhand rehab… [inhales deeply]
…was a torture cell.

It was freezing,
but they used to tie up Yashu

and leave him on the floor.
They fed him watery daal and thick rotis.

Six months he had to spend in that hell.

Stinking junkies.
Low-class people all around.

With great difficulty, he's got
an internship in a Boston University.

But Leo found out that he… [hesitates]

And he threatened to share
that information with his employers.

Guppie ji said that Leo ji's
pot of sin burst open.

Just like the other time.

-What could that other time be?
-[music concludes]

-Ganga's husband, sir.
-[sinister music playing]

Ajay Kumar. It's been three years
since he's been missing.

And, sir, he was the one
supplying Yash drugs.

I told him that I don't want to live
my life with his dirty money.

Sweeping, mopping.
Took up any work I could.

But he was suspicious
that the people I work for and I were…

You didn't file a police complaint?

Does the police listen
to people like us, sir?

-I only told Raja sahib.
-[Rannvijay] Yes, it is mine.

It was stolen
from the club cabinet last night.

You and, uh, Raja ji,
what was the nature of your relationship?

Can the rich and the poor have
only one kind of dealing between them?

Nothing more than that?

Till date, Raja ji has never been
inappropriate with me.

One second! Are you suggesting
that I'm responsible

for Ajay Kumar's disappearance?

-And I also killed Guppie?
-It certainly entangles everything.

Next time,
don't make the mistake of calling me

without evidence, inspector.

Raja ji…

-those are the government's balls.
-[sinister music concludes]

[tense music playing]

We're aware that there's Pinko
in your house.

As we speak,
our team is already conducting a search.

Search.

My son cannot murder anyone!

And you, madam?

Rosh Aunty was involved as well.
I bet the son had a Pinko pill at night,

and in the morning,
the mother switched the bottles.

We had sent a team
to conduct a search in Yash ji's room.

-And?
-And we found nothing there.

Not a thing.

Let's say those photos
are from same room, okay?

Apart from that, we have--

[Padam] Hey!

Had a brain wave? Huh?

[tense music concludes]

-[faucet running]
-[birds chirping]

What happened?

You know the earrings that I had given you
on your 20th birthday, remember?

I just saw them in Leo's evidence box.

That's what happened.

Akash, it was just physical.

After Anshul's accident,
I just had no idea what was going on.

I was so disoriented.
I would… l would just stay up just crying.

-I just needed someone--
-I hear there are plenty of flights

between Delhi and Kolkata.

Do you know how many times I called you?

Picked up even once?

My husband had just died, Kashi.

So, I am really sorry
if this was about me.

And he was there for me. You weren't.

You know what?

Fuck you, Todi!

I wasn't there?
I was always there for you!

Like a fucking fool,
always standing next to you.

Like a fool,
I used to keep standing there for you.

Bambi, I have no idea
what it is you want from me.

This much is clear.

Three years ago,
you were messing around with me.

Today, you're doing the same thing.
I'm done with you!

You… You know what?
You consume my entire life, man!

And you didn't even realize it!

Why? Huh? What did I ever do to you?

[emotional music playing]

[emotional music concludes]

[knocking on table]

[Padam] What was the reason
for your husband's death?

-Sir, I'm trying to--
-[Padam] Bambi Madam!

I want nothing but the truth!

What's the real reason
for your blackmailing?

Was it your klepto-escapades
or your current affair? Hmm?

Speak up, speak up, speak up! Hmm?

I didn't give a shit
if he told anybody about the affair.

If you didn't give a shit,

then why have you been hiding
this shit from us all these days?

Huh?

Kashi would've found out.

[sobs]

[sniffing]

From now on,
you'll stay away from this case.

[suspenseful music playing]

-[ACP Bhavani] Please leave. Go.
-Uh, I…

Leave.

[Padam] Now, even Bambi Todi
is a murder suspect.

For the world,
the members of this club are full hi-fi,

always prancing around.

But come nighttime, they are worse
than the criminal from the ghettos.

I say the minister
should definitely shut down this club.

I support him fully.

-[doorbell dinging]
-[door opening]

[music concludes]

[ACP Bhavani] Never punish the stomach

for the afflictions
of the heart, vakil sahib.

You know, an octopus has three hearts.

-Bhai sahib.
-[ACP Bhavani] Hmm?

You must be wondering why I'm serving
sautéed beetroot for dinner.

Oh, no, no. The… beetroots
have turned out delicious, madam.

Really?

The sight of Guppie Ram's beetroots
was very painful!

-[Mala] Yes.
-[ACP Bhavani] They were weird to look at.

Day and night,
he'd keep watering the kitchen gardens.

Yes! This is exactly where they go wrong.

So, the thing is,
beetroot is a root vegetable.

Now, beetroot and root vegetables
should not be watered too much.

-But people keep on overwatering.
-[dramatic music playing]

[Mala] What it does is,
it makes them soggy. Kind of mushy.

Are you sure beetroot
can handle so much water?

Guppie Ram ji appears to have
fine taste in coffee.

Who has his pot of sin burst open?

Forgive me,
I have a slight, uh, emergency.

-[Mala] Bhai sahib, dinner?
-[ACP Bhavani] No, no, some other time.

Some other time.

Who the hell allowed this?
The results are out there, Bhatti!

Bhenchod, I'll bury you right here!

-[dramatic music concludes]
-[indistinct chatter]

Kings and queens
are things of the past, hukum.

Don't fuck with me today, Shehnaz!

-ACP, gold! You found gold--
-[shushes]

[Padam] Madam,
please don't get overexcited.

Careful with the mud.
Keep them back. Move back, everyone.

-Move back.
-[indistinct chatter]

[dramatic music playing]

[ACP Bhavani] Hmm. Padam.

[indistinct chatter]

[ACP Bhavani] Guppie Ram ji
wasn't watering the vegetables.

He was pouring acid into the ground.

And in the linings,
coffee and vinegar.

So, anything underneath
would dissolve quickly.

That's why those… those beetroots…

-[pukes]
-Madam! Back! Get back.

-Oh, God!
-[ACP Bhavani] Get back.

-I've been eating beets from here.
-Madam, come back.

[gasps] This is not beetroot.
Oh, my God! Cannibals…

[music concludes]

Who are here to arrest?
Can it wait an hour?

No, sir, it's urgent.

-Huh?
-Yes.

You can't just look at a pile of bones
and say whether it's my husband or not.

Madam, can you tell me when was
the last time you saw your mister?

I mean, your husband,
when did you see him?

That would be at didi's anniversary party.

[Padam] Hmm. Three years ago?

The same night Raja sahib
made tandoori chicken out of him?

Are you in touch with your in-laws?

[suspenseful music playing]

[Krishnan] It's a male, 25 to 30 years.

Buried for three to four years.

The death was due to blunt force trauma
with some heavy object.

Right on the face.

We're trying to locate
Ajay Kumar's dental records

to do a DNA match.

There's something important
I wanted to show you.

In his left eye socket,
I found these tiny, little shards.

This could be from your murder weapon.

[music concludes]

[dramatic music playing]

Tell me, why was Leo ji blackmailing you?

Do you see anything?

There are no bone china cups…

no Mercedes…

no elephants either.

Rannvijay Singh is just
a ground-floor tenant of an old mansion.

That's it.

All I do is wait for the clock
to strike 4:00, ACP,

when I can go to The Royal Delhi Club…

and become Raja sahib again.

And if that scumbag Leo
had revealed the truth about me

in front of everyone,

then never mind the members,
even the staff would have ridiculed me.

They would've laughed
at my 20-rupee tip…

[breathes shakily]

…and thrown 50 rupees
at my face instead.

You are telling the truth, Raja sahib…

but not the whole truth.

[sighs]

[ACP Bhavani] At Leo ji's house,
we found several photos like this.

If anyone would've discovered that a man
from the royal family…

I truly loved my wife very much.

She was the only one who really knew me.

Understood me. Please don't tell anyone.

So, Raja sahib,
you were with Thinsuk that night?

Uh… If you want my advice,
then you should…

fearlessly accept this relationship.
This case would--

I won't be able to live with it.

I can't do this to someone like Thinsuk.

His life will be ruined.

I request you, please give
the other photos back to me.

[breathes shakily]

I'll consider myself
in your debt for life.

Raja ji, I promise you,

as soon as we recover more photographs
and pictures, I'll give them all to you.

Meaning?

Please forgive me,
but I have to place you under arrest.

Come on.

Just give me a minute.

Mm-hmm.

[Cookie] Tanzanite.

It's very expensive. Pricey, you know.

That's why I made just two of them.

-And you sold both of them.
-No, no.

I always gift the special ones.

Poor Raja sahib.

After his wife passed away…

he became very, very lonely.
That's when I gifted it to him.

-The second one?
-Not the second. His first wife.

The second Mother Teresa.

[reporters] Sir, please tell us something.

There's no criminal that can escape
the Delhi Police.

Not even the Maharaja
of a dilapidated mansion.

[female reporter] A dilapidated mansion,

perverted Maharaja
turned out to be the murderer.

Was Raja ji romancing Ganga,
who's young enough to be his daughter?

-I gifted that one as well.
-Whom did you gift it to, madam?

[male reporter] Raja ji
buried Ganga's husband, Ajay Kumar,

in the club ground.

In the memory of his wife, Vasudha Devi…

[Rakesh] I'll kill that bastard!

To whom did you gift the second gift?

God! My blood pressure
is going through the roof.

-Whom did you give the second--
-Don't shout, SP ji! Please leave.

[male reporter 1] Delhi Police
has found key evidence against Raja ji.

[male reporter 2] After the argument,
it's been three years.

Ganga's husband, Ajay Kumar, is missing.

[female reporter 1] Sir, why are you
not sharing all the details with us?

[male reporter 3] Sir, can you give us
some more details?

[chief officer]
When the time's right, rest assured,

we'll share every detail with you.

Cookie ji, the second Mother Teresa,
whom did you give it to?

[female reporter 3]
His ancestral mansion…

Dogras.

[female reporter 4]
Maharaja Rannvijay Singh…

-[breathes shakily]
-[indistinct chatter]

-Thank you, Cookie ji. Thank…
-[Cookie sighs]

-[gasps]
-[breathes deeply]

-No, no, SP.
-[whimpers]

[sighs]

-Hell… Nothing. [chuckles]
-What… What are you doing, SP?

What are you--
Katoch sahib is inside. He'll get upset.

Yeah, Padam, you are ready?

[grunts]

Yes, yes!
We have got today's biggest breaking news!

-Ajay Kumar is alive!
-Sir, Ajay Kumar is still alive!

[male reporter 5] What's happening, sir?

Ajay Kumar in flesh and blood

stands alive and well
right before our eyes!

So, the question that rises

is the the skeleton
that was found at the RDC belongs to who?

[dramatic music concludes]

What could I do here?

My Mrs. was coochie-cooing
with her bosses here.

Mmm.

And that bastard lawyer, Dogra,
bloody dog! He was hot on my trail.

So, I disappeared.
I could've escaped the police very soon.

God knows what his deal was.

Asshole would make
my entire stock disappear.

Pinko.

Thank you for meeting me.

You're leaving?

[emotional music playing]

♪ I remember you just as much ♪

Yes, I was pretending.

Nineteen years back…

I did pretend to drown.

So that you could come and save me.

You always landed up
to save me, didn't you?

Kashi, if I pretend…

[breathes shakily]

…once more that I'm drowning…

would you come and save…

[cellphone ringing]

I really have to take this. Sorry.

[emotional music concludes]

-Yes, sir.
-It's a DNA match, sir.

[dramatic music playing]

I found Leo's iPad, bro.

There are more than 100 photos
and videos of those club members.

You haven't told anyone else, have you?

[ACP Bhavani] Hello, Bambi ji.

A few minutes ago, we received
the DNA report on the skeleton.

It's a match with your husband, Anshul.

Is vakil sahib with you?

I need to ask him something.

Hello, Bambi ji, can you hear me?

[Akash] Do one thing.

Wait right there. I am coming.
Don't go anywhere.

Bambi ji, I'm asking,
is vakil sahib with you right now?

No.

[Mala] Okay, it's not nice
to keep reminding all the time…

Where is vakil sahib?

[Mala] He's gone back to Kolkata.

-This Koohu Madam, can we get her number?
-Number…

Koohu? But we've never even spoken
to her till today.

Cookie ji had gifted you something.
A bust of Mother Teresa.

-[Balbir] Uh…
-Can you tell me where it is?

That's, uh, been missing
for quite some time.

-Padam.
-Yes, sir.

Vakil sahib hasn't gone to Kolkata.

-Track his phone.
-[Padam] Yes, sir.

What are you saying?

Raks!

[siren wails]

Shepherd's Orphanage.
Send someone immediately!

What did he want
with the Mother Teresa bust, huh?

[Cookie] Hello?
You didn't like my joke or what?

[pants]

Where's Warden Raks's room, huh?

[police sirens wailing]

[dramatic music concludes]

["Awara Hoon" playing]

[cellphone chimes]

[cellphones chime]

["Awara Hoon" continues]

[cellphone chimes]

-[music stops abruptly]
-[bell ringing]

[chuckles]

[tense music playing]

Do all of you know
what happened once with Padam?

A case was brought before him.

A poor rickshaw driver
was crushed under a fancy Mercedes.

Everyone said, "Drop it."
"He was a poor man, he was a nobody."

Padam said, "No!"

The value of a car can be high or low.

But the value of the lives inside either
is always equal.

In your world,

there may be a distinction
between higher, lower, rich, poor.

But today, in this assembly,
you are all equal.

So, please be seated.
Those standing, please sit.

Hmm.

Now, it looks democratic.

Arey, stop it! He's called me here!

[grunts] SP!

I don't remember inviting you here.

-I know.
-[sighs]

-I'm here for you, Rosh.
-I'm okay. Okay. I'm okay.

Shehnaz ji, I caught onto your lie

the moment you spoke to me
about the riots.

I'd like to see him give birth to a child

in a burning ghetto
after a 14-hour painful labor.

And that too when rioters armed
with swords are banging on your door!

And then…

So, the riots that fit your story
are the Mumbai riots of 1992.

That year, your age was…

Forgive me, uh,
I am about to mention a lady's age.

Sixteen years,

which does not match
the present ages of your daughters.

Ammi didn't even let me see
my baby's face.

But I found out that he was placed
in Shepherd's Home Orphanage.

As I progressed forward in my career…

I always tried…

never to turn and look back.

But I kept making donations to Shepherd's.

[breathes deeply]

Then, one day, Leo showed up.

And he knew about who my son was.

He had some photos with him.
And he began to blackmail me.

His only condition was…

that I accept my son in front of everyone,

or else he'd reveal everything
to my daughters.

So, today, I did that myself.

[sighs]

[sobs]

[sobs]

-[sniffs, sobs]
-[kisses]

Perhaps not Shehnaz ji…

but Leo ji was blackmailing Raja ji.

Only for money and nothing else.

[Rannvijay] I can't do this
to someone like Thinsuk.

[sobs]

His life will be ruined.

That's got nothing to do with this murder.

It's his personal matter.

Whatever his personal matter may be,
who cares?

But Guppie Ram
was killed by his gun, I'm sure.

[sniffs, clears throat]

I regret to inform you…
that was a suicide.

[gunshot]

[ACP Bhavani] The forensic evidence

and the blood splatter reports
suitably prove it.

Forensics also revealed
an astonishing fact to us.

The identity of the corpse
buried in the kitchen garden.

I've already informed Bambi ji.

It was her husband Anshul ji's body.

The DNA has been matched
with both his parents.

Anshul ji's skeleton
also provided another detail.

Cause of death,
a powerful blow to the head.

He was attacked. By whom?

-Padam.
-[Padam] Yes, sir.

"I am sorry for everything, Bambi."

"I love you." "I always have."

[ACP Bhavani] Yesterday, Yash attempted
to kill himself.

By overdosing on drugs.
Right now, he's in a coma.

Since childhood, Yash ji
had a soft corner for Bambi.

We also discovered that he would stalk her
and secretly spy on her.

Yash baba could not stand it
when Bambi chose another,

and that is why he decided
to remove Anshul ji from the picture.

It was impossible
to accomplish this task alone.

His accomplice
turned out to be Guppie Ram ji.

-Druggie bastard!
-Shut up!

Just shut up!

I knew this is what you people
would say! I knew it!

This is why today, I left Yashu half dead
in the hospital and came here!

You're a bunch of scumbags!
Bloody scumbags!

Nobody cares for anyone here!
Everyone is--

Don't, don't. I know.
I know exactly what you guys

are saying about me behind my back.

[sobs] Cow dung. Gold-digger!

Cheap leach!

-Rosh--
-Arey, stop it!

My favorite. Blood-sucker pussy.

Fine! Today I'll show you
what a wild cat I am!

Anyone dare bad-mouth my Yash,

I'll claw them to pieces.
Won't spare anyone!

-Roshni ji, please calm down.
-[breathes shakily]

Fine, let us assume Yash ji
is not the killer.

This is, uh, Leo ji's tab.

Leo ji kept the camera on at all times

so that he could capture
the weaknesses of his next victim

and then use it to blackmail them.

Observe the date and time stamp
on this video.

It's from the night of Bambi ji's
and Anshul ji's anniversary, 2:30 a.m.

This video revealed to us
a very highly intriguing detail.

That perhaps… [chuckles]
…escaped even Leo's notice.

Look here. Far behind at the parking lot,

there's a car standing here
that has a prominent dent in the rear.

Even from here,
we can clearly tell whose car this is.

Vakil sahib's.

Vakil sahib may have left
that anniversary party early.

-That's possible.
-[Anshul] Bastard, wait!

[ACP Bhavani] But he was back again
later that night.

Not thinking straight,
heady from alcohol and anger.

[knocking on door]

[ACP Bhavani] It was impossible for him
to bury the body alone.

That's how drunk he was.

Then he found an accomplice
in Guppie Ram ji.

And coincidentally,

the bus taking Anshul ji and his friends
to the mountains fell into a gorge.

And no one even realized anything.
Anshul ji never boarded that bus.

Yes, I did go that night,
back to the club, to meet Bambi.

I knocked on the door, nobody answered,
so I went back home, okay?

This bullshit yarn you're spinning…

might work here,
but it won't hold in court.

That's what you think. It'll hold fine.

The CCTV footage from that night,
that is October 12th, has been deleted.

Your murder weapon,
the Mother Teresa bust,

has been missing from your home
for three years.

While conducting your raids
on Ajay Kumar,

you also came across several sources
of Pinko.

-[scoffs]
-[tense music concludes]

Sir, but Yash's letter.

He has confessed, hasn't he?

Whether he wrote it himself
or vakil sahib forced him to write it,

we may never know, Bambi ji.

But Kashi wasn't even at the club, sir.

How could he have switched
the protein bottles?

So, he didn't do it.
Guppie Ram ji switched them.

And that's how that bottle came in contact
with Prince Harry, the cat.

My apologies, vakil sahib.

[Padam] Let's go.

Come on, come on. Get up.

♪ Oh Lord, my Almighty! ♪

♪ Born to one, now taken away by another ♪

-You pulled a miracle today, sir ji.
-Hmm.

You nabbed the killer,
saved the fake Raja ji,

and to top it all, compelled everyone
to revealing everything.

Sir.

All the knots
are not yet untangled, Padam.

-Ji?
-ACP sir!

Hmm.

Now, the knots unravel.

[tense music playing]

[Bambi] I need
to tell you something, ACP sir.

I loved the club.

I know a person like you
will never understand…

I love each and every thing about RDC.

It's a privileged world I was born into.

And it's the only world I have known.

♪ Oh Lord, my Almighty! ♪

♪ Born to one, now taken away by another ♪

[Bambi] So many of us
have nowhere else to go.

We're all so terrified of the real world…

that we make the club our whole world.

It's my home. My prison.
And what a beautiful fucking prison.

[door creaks]

Anshul was the perfect husband material.

Sweet, dependable, rich,
et cetera, et cetera.

There was just one problem.

He was not Kashi.

I just needed one thing from him.

We needed to look
like the perfect couple. That's all.

You know, for the club.

But he couldn't even manage that.

[dramatic music playing]

You're leaving me? Huh?
You're leaving me for a maid?

For a fucking maid, Anshul?

[Anshul] I left you a long time ago,
Bambi.

-And like I said, I fucking love her.
-[Bambi] I don't care if you love her!

Love her, fuck her,
do whatever the fuck you want!

But do it in your room!

The world… Fuck the world!

The club cannot find out about this!
Do you understand…

Is that the only thing
that you give a fuck about?

Look at your mom and dad's situation.

Even after that,
you haven't figured it out?

You're so fucking selfish, Anshul!
You're so fucking selfish!

Have you even thought about Ganga?
You think people will accept her?

She won't even get membership
at the club, Anshul.

You're so stupid!

Do you really think
I give a fuck if she gets a membership?

-You should give a fuck!
-I don't!

[sobs] "I love her."

Marriage is about love, not status.

Love and marriage have nothing to do
with each other, Anshul!

How could that fool know
what love feels like?

Look at me, sir.

I madly loved Kashi,
but I didn't marry him.

You need to understand what I'm saying.
No one is going to accept her.

Listen to me.

-We have a perfect marriage.
-We don't, Bambi.

-Are you fucking hearing yourself?
-[glass smashes]

We have a perfect marriage, Anshul.

We don't.

It doesn't matter, Anshul.
It doesn't fucking matter!

How are love and marriage connected?

Kashi is a chutiya too.
He just never understood this.

-Anshul, please listen to me.
-[Anshul] You listen to me.

The divorce papers are almost ready.
Once I come back from my--

[Bambi] Getting Guppie to help was easy.

I just told him Anshul had raped Ganga.

I loved Guppie a lot. I promise.

But in the end,
these folks can never be us.

They don't have it in them to know
what's good and what's bad for them.

But Leo did, though. Bastard.

[whistles]

[Bambi] Once you've taken one life,

murder becomes a part
of your list of solutions.

[meows]

["Awara Hoon" playing on cellphone]

-Arey, do you hear that song?
-What song?

Where is it playing from?

[Bambi] It's not your fault, Guppie.

You're not well, you know?

That's why.

I'm like a daughter to you, aren't I?

Would you like it…

if you're the reason
I'm sentenced to death?

I know if you had the means,
you'd save me for sure.

If only that stupid Yash
had not cleaned out the Pinko

I had planted,

he'd be in jail, not in the ICU.

Everything would've been sorted out.

But then you came along
with your middle-class interference.

[ACP Bhavani] Now, it's my turn, Bambi ji.

The knots will unravel only when we talk.

-Yes, dadi.
-Return gift.

I returned the gift.

All night, that bust
used to stare at me like an owl.

So, to whom did you give that bust
as a return gift?

To that Todi’s daughter.

Looks like you've been on that train.

Kashi would've found out.

[ACP Bhavani] That tingling in my belly,

and the way you were buzzing
like a bee around this case,

both seemed to clearly tell me
that you were the murderer.

If you need anything at all,
just give me a call. I'll sign for it.

[ACP Bhavani] But I didn't have
any strong evidence against you.

And suddenly, it occurred to me.
I had an ace up my sleeve.

Vakil sahib.

[tense music concludes]

[ACP Bhavani] No matter
how low a person stoops,

when it comes to matters of the heart,

the benevolence inside him
instinctively takes charge.

Didn't I tell you…

the world's greatest mystery…

is love?

♪ The more I try to forget you ♪

♪ I remember you just as much ♪

♪ The more I try to forget you ♪

♪ I remember you just as much ♪

♪ My life slips away ♪

[Bambi] But professor sahib.

All is not lost.

And that's why I know…

I'll find a good lawyer,
one who'll come to meet me every day.

For years to come.

-Do one thing.
-Yes.

-You know, you get these large plants…
-[Balbir chuckles] Yes.

[grandmother]
The rats will come and eat them up.

[Mala] If we grow carrots,
we'll get great results.

-[Balbir] And you'll make delicious halwa.
-[Mala chuckles]

[grandmother] No, I'll make the halwa.

[tires screech]

Vakil sahib,
do not take up Bambi ji's case.

Why did you rush
to the orphanage that night?

To see whether or not
Bambi left any evidence?

If she had, what then?

[car door closing]

Vakil sahib,
you seem to have a big heart.

Shrink it a little.

Go back to that Bengali maid in Kolkata.

Bye.

Vakil sahib!

This Koohu ji does exist, right?

[dramatic music playing]

This matter was more complicated
than our previous cases, Padam.

We were not just solving
only a murder case,

but also untangling
the knots of a love story.

A peculiar love story.

-[Padam] Sir.
-[ACP Bhavani] Hmm?

-[Padam] Should I park it?
-No, no, no, no. I will park it.

You, please locate to the chat protocol.

Hmm.

[Padam] Yeah, a little more spice.

[indistinct chatter]

Do you all know
what happened to Padam once upon a time?

[bell ringing]

[soft, dramatic music playing]

[music concludes]

[ambient music playing]

♪ Milk churn! ♪

♪ Oh Lord, my Almighty! ♪

♪ Born to one, now taken away by another ♪

[music concludes]
ow taken away by another ♪