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1
00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:02,367
KEVIN: At least once a year,
2
00:00:02,435 --> 00:00:06,769
I like to bring in
some of my Kevirs
Famous Chili.
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,936
The trick is to
undercook the onions.
4
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,845
Everybody is going
to get to know each
other in the pot.
5
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:17,576
Now, I'm serious
about this stuff.
6
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:22,610
I'm up the night before,
pressing garlic and
dicing whole tomatoes.
7
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,749
I toast my own
Ancho chilies.
8
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,486
(MOANING)
9
00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:32,094
It's a recipe passed
down from Malones
for generations.
10
00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:33,655
(EXCLAIMING)
11
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,258
It's probably
the thing I do best.
12
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,653
(BOTH CLEARING THROAT)
13
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,289
MICHAEL: Someone
is returning.
14
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:08,860
He started his own
company, and now
he's back.
15
00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:10,562
Who could it be?
16
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:14,197
I'll give you a hint.
He is a man.
17
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:17,209
A man you have missed
with all your heart.
18
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:20,678
A man who has ruined
all other men for you.
19
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,681
Who is it?
20
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,910
(WHISPERING) Who is it?
(WHISPERING) Who is it?
21
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:28,551
(BANGING)
22
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:34,087
It's Michael Scott.
23
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:38,764
Hold up!
24
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,663
Conference room,
five minutes.
25
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,465
Well, I guess
the first order
of business
26
00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:49,201
is to welcome back
me and Pam and Ryan.
27
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:50,833
(PEOPLE CLAPPING)
28
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:56,805
And how about Casual Friday
again, huh? Reinstituting
Casual Friday?
29
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:58,978
You all look great.
30
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:02,954
What I want to do right
now is try something
a little different.
31
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:05,388
I'm going to throw it
out there, starting
with this meeting.
32
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:09,258
I want you guys to
run it. I want you to
say whatever you want.
33
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,263
Take it away.
Your meeting.
34
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,092
(STAMMERING)
What are you doing?
35
00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:17,836
If there is something
that you would like
to say as a group,
36
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:21,101
then by all means,
you may say it
to me right now.
37
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,504
Okay.
MICHAEL: Yes.
38
00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:24,133
People are dressed
inappropriately.
39
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,974
Take it up with Toby.
What I want you to do
40
00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:29,173
is I want you
to look inward,
41
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:32,946
and I want you to reflect,
and I want you to say
something different.
42
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,384
Can you give us a hint?
43
00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:38,019
MICHAEL: When I needed
salespeople for my new
paper company,
44
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,719
everyone here turned
their back on me.
45
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:45,189
Am I going to ask them
to beg for forgiveness?
No.
46
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:50,430
Am I going to ask for
a big, crying apology?
No.
47
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:54,098
(LAUGHS) Am I going to
ask them to slit their
wrists for me? No.
48
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:58,008
I just want a tiny,
microscopic version
of that.
49
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,009
Oscar, what were
you going to say?
50
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:02,639
Nothing. I didn't
say anything.
51
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:03,773
All right.
52
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,284
Do I still have
a job here?
Not important.
53
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:07,842
Michael, she's...
Okay.
54
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,718
(ALL MURMURING)
All right,
yes, yes.
55
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:12,155
She deserves to know.
You have a job.
56
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:15,786
Frankly, you have
a job because
Ryan and Pam
57
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,126
are starting with us
as salesmen.
58
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,325
Wait, what?
How is that
going to work?
59
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,890
MICHAEL: It's going
to work very smoothly
60
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,526
because Pam and Ryan
are bringing over
61
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:26,504
a ton of clients
from Michael Scott
Paper Company and...
62
00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:28,200
You mean the clients
you stole from us.
63
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:29,832
Yeah, aren't we
getting those
clients back?
64
00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:31,706
No, you lost
those clients.
65
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,712
I call foul, sir.
Okay.
66
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:34,940
DWIGHT: You were bought out.
They...
67
00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:38,245
So the company, then,
bought out all of
the stolen clients.
68
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:40,786
Okay, Dwight,
let me explain
something to you.
69
00:03:40,853 --> 00:03:44,949
I set the rules,
and you follow
them blindly, okay?
70
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:47,515
And if you have
a problem with that,
71
00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:51,028
then you can talk to
our complaint department.
72
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:52,988
It's a trashcan.
73
00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,870
Don't fall in
love with me, kid.
74
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:06,542
(PHYLLIS CHUCKLING)
75
00:04:06,946 --> 00:04:09,278
(CHUCKLES) Boscov's
at the Steamtown Mall?
76
00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,078
It sure looked good
on the mannequin.
77
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:13,311
Well, you have
good taste.
Well, thanks.
78
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:16,617
I sure wish I had
more time to talk
to my clients, though.
79
00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:17,678
What?
80
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,726
Isn't that what you said
to a bunch of my clients
when you were stealing them?
81
00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:22,488
That I didn't have
enough time for them?
82
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:24,086
Oh, I, uh...
83
00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:26,791
Close your mouth, sweetie.
You look like a trout.
84
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:30,897
The man is
wearing sandals.
85
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:33,996
I don't need to see
Oscar's toes at work.
Gross.
86
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:36,439
I mean, he looks like
he just got off the boat.
87
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:38,841
Can't you just not
look at his feet?
88
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,242
Excuse me?
89
00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,409
Oh! You're so educated,
aren't you, Toby?
90
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:45,212
So trained to deal
with a hysterical woman!
91
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,219
I don't want to
look at his feet!
92
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,914
Do your job!
93
00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:52,116
TOBY: Well, I was in
the seminary for a year
and dropped out
94
00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:55,058
'cause I wanted to have sex
with this girl Kathy.
95
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,221
Followed her
back to Scranton,
96
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,356
took the first job
I could find in HR.
97
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,498
Later, she divorced me.
98
00:05:03,703 --> 00:05:07,662
So, no, I wouldn't say
I have a passion for HR.
99
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:12,143
There you are,
my friend.
Oh. Thanks, man.
100
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:13,877
(CAN OPENING)
101
00:05:13,946 --> 00:05:15,174
Pamela.
102
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,472
Thanks, Michael.
Yep.
103
00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:24,184
Fresh, hot ink.
104
00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:26,816
STANLEY: New file system?
105
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:31,521
Trust me, Stanley, you're
going to want to read
this memo very carefully.
106
00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:34,464
I am not changing
the way I do my files.
107
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,094
No, no! This goes
for all of you.
108
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:43,370
Believe me, you are
going to want to heat
my words.
109
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:46,105
When held over heat,
the invisible ink
will reveal
110
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,171
that everyone should meet
at the warehouse immediately.
111
00:05:50,249 --> 00:05:52,774
Do not ask me where
I got the invisible ink.
112
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,818
Urine. It was urine.
113
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,083
(CHUCKLES)
114
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,124
(SIGHING)
115
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,889
I'm sorry you're
offended by my shoes,
116
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:05,294
but I'm not going to
drive home to change.
117
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,697
Okay. I could loan
you a pair of socks.
No.
118
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,064
No, they're clean.
I was gonna wear them
119
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,500
to volleyball practice.
I don't think so.
120
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,135
(PHONE RINGING)
121
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:14,897
Andrew Bernard.
122
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:17,101
Okay, what are you
still doing at your desk?
123
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:19,644
What are you still
doing not at your desk?
124
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:22,146
Did you even
read the memo?
125
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,342
All my files are
now in reverse
alphabetical order...
126
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:28,649
No, you idiot!
There is a code
embedded in the memo.
127
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,986
Listen, you need to round up
all the salesmen,
except for Ryan and Pam,
128
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,686
and get them down
to the warehouse,
pronto.
129
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:38,197
Oh, it is on,
like a prawn who
yawns at dawn.
130
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:40,061
Stop doing
rhyming poetry.
131
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,363
Just tell them, please.
God, the simplest thing.
132
00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:46,334
We're in crisis
mode here.
133
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,874
Do you understand
that two unqualified
134
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:51,466
so-called salespeople
are being favored
135
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:54,012
because they all
failed together?
136
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,945
And frankly,
I'm not convinced
that Michael and Pam
137
00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:57,642
didn't have a thing going
while they were gone.
138
00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:58,706
Can I address that?
139
00:06:58,785 --> 00:06:59,877
No, you're too close.
Okay.
140
00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:02,147
Stanley, how do you
feel about those two
taking your clients?
141
00:07:02,221 --> 00:07:04,348
It's not right.
I don't like it.
142
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,755
He doesn't like it.
143
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:08,521
You don't take my clients
away and give them to
a secretary.
144
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,427
(SIGHING)
No offense, Jim.
I think she's very pretty.
145
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:13,294
Her face is okay,
but...
146
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,096
Jeez, what...
What are you
doing here?
147
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,694
I don't know. I saw
a crowd. Thought there
might be a dog fight or...
148
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:19,999
Get out!
149
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:22,465
We need to
do something.
150
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:25,602
I'm thinking maybe a coup,
or we take Ryan hostage.
151
00:07:25,678 --> 00:07:26,736
Those sound too harsh.
152
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,144
No, I'm not saying
we do those things.
153
00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:30,205
I'm saying something
like those things.
154
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,012
Of course.
What is like a hostage?
155
00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:33,346
Excellent question.
156
00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:35,512
We could write
a strongly worded
letter.
157
00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:37,021
Words will never
be enough.
158
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:39,353
Strongly painted picture.
No, pictures are
too interpretive.
159
00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:41,859
Can I just say something?
I know that tempers are high.
160
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,020
But I think the best
way to handle this
161
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:44,687
might be to just talk
to Michael directly.
162
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,560
Oh.
163
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,897
That...
That's a great
idea, Jim.
164
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,368
I totally see
your point.
165
00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:54,804
Okay, we'll talk to
Michael directly, so, uh,
meeting is over, I guess.
166
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:56,466
I'll see everyone upstairs.
Great. See you upstairs.
167
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:57,600
Come on.
168
00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:03,714
(WHISPERING) Listen,
now is the time for
action. I'm talking...
169
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,150
(LAUGHING)
That one's great.
I know.
170
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,483
PAM: Why are you so mad?
RYAN: You look so classy.
171
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:10,749
MICHAEL: I do? Well...
172
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:11,846
(PAM LAUGHING)
173
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,482
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Where is that bowl?
174
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:16,551
Hi, you have a second?
Michael Scott
Paper Company only.
175
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:18,256
Yeah, I think you're
gonna wanna cool it
with that,
176
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,094
'cause it's starting to
upset the other salesmen.
177
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,292
Okay, well...
Tough.
178
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,232
I will... No. No.
179
00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,167
I'll talk to them
when they all get back
from the bathroom.
180
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,866
This is awkward to talk
about, but there
may or may not be,
181
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:31,000
but definitely is,
a mutiny forming in
the warehouse right now.
182
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:33,539
Against who?
You.
183
00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:35,475
Us.
What?
184
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,482
It's gotta be
because they all
want their clients...
185
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,882
The old Michael Scott
might have taken this,
186
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:41,977
but not the new
Michael Scott.
187
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:46,889
They are in for a bitter
surprise. I am not to be
truffled with.
188
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:51,126
Six weeks ago,
none of these people
wanted to come with me.
189
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,462
You two were the only ones
with the stones to follow.
190
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,558
Mmm-hmm.
191
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:58,433
That was us,
right there.
PAM: We were something else.
192
00:08:58,504 --> 00:09:01,837
What you gotta do is
you gotta go down
to that warehouse
193
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,502
and you gotta crack some
skulls, Chiklis style.
MICHAEL: Mmm-hmm.
194
00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:06,408
Yeah, The Commish.
195
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:09,141
Yes, but Chiklis
Shield style...
Okay.
196
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,513
...not Commish style.
Yeah, yeah. The Shield.
197
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:17,723
It's crazy, what's going
on out there today, huh?
198
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,691
(CHUCKLES)
I know. Yeah,
it's kinda...
199
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,955
Sometimes it's best
just to stay out of it.
200
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,688
That's true.
That's right, yeah.
201
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:27,960
Want to play a game?
202
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:35,931
Hey, gang,
where you been?
203
00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:38,467
Lunch.
204
00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:40,705
Where'd you eat?
A restaurant.
205
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,179
What did you
have, Stanley?
206
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,046
I had a salmon salad
with water, no ice.
207
00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:47,551
I was going to get
a soda, but the waitress
talked me out of it.
208
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,087
Her name was Flo.
She had black hair.
209
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,213
I had Mexican food.
210
00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:51,483
So since you
guys already ate,
211
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:55,288
you won't be eating the stuff
that you brought with you for
lunch, will you?
212
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:02,033
(EXCLAIMING)
213
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:06,003
Wow, Stanley,
is that egg salad?
214
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:07,664
Andy brought
some salmon.
215
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:08,866
RYAN: That looks great.
216
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:11,671
Dwight, is that
a meat sandwich?
217
00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:13,644
You guys hungry?
I can eat.
218
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,307
I'm going to have
some of this
meat sandwich.
219
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,408
It's pony.
220
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:21,186
Mmm!
What kind of sauce
is on your salmon?
221
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:23,778
(EXCLAIMING)
ANDY: Dijonnaise.
222
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,719
MICHAEL: Thanks for
going out, guys.
PAM: Mmm-hmm.
223
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:29,226
Hey, Meredith, can
I talk to you privately
for a second?
224
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,593
About what?
Your outfit.
225
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,723
What? What's wrong
with my outfit?
226
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:37,567
(STAMMERING) You might
consider pulling it
down a touch.
227
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,401
It's riding up
a little high.
228
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,135
Bunch of prudes.
You know, Oscar's
allowed to wear sandals,
229
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,972
(ALL GASPING)
But I'm not allowed to
wear open-toed shoes?
230
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:46,511
Is that how it goes?
231
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:47,978
Meredith, your boob is out.
232
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:49,036
Fine.
233
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,878
(ALL GROANING)
Too far, Meredith!
Too far!
234
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:52,781
Damn it, Meredith,
where are your
panties?
235
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,444
It's casual day.
236
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,216
Happy?
237
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:02,990
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
238
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,324
KELLY: Toby.
PAM: Toby.
239
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,489
(ANGELA EXCLAIMING)
OSCAR: Toby?
240
00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:08,897
No. If you do that,
I'm going to do that.
241
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,595
If you do that,
I'm going to do that.
242
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,570
If you do this,
I'm going to do that.
243
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,466
What if I just do this?
244
00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:17,202
You don't want
to do that.
245
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:21,144
I'm just hiding out
until all this
stuff blows over,
246
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:24,671
with Creed, playing
chess, at work.
247
00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:26,751
He's winning.
248
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,387
I feel like
I'm describing
a dream I had.
249
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:33,785
RYAN: I'm sorry you feel
that way, Mr. Bart.
250
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:37,124
Is there anything I can do
to make things better?
251
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,630
(EXCLAIMING)
Give me the phone.
Give me the phone.
252
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,259
Exactly, if this is your
first complaint in 10 years...
That's my client.
253
00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,268
...things have
been generally good.
Give me the phone.
254
00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:45,462
Tell him Dwight Schrute
wants to talk to him.
255
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,199
Look, Mr. Bart...
DWIGHT: Hi, Mr. Bart!
256
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,264
...at these prices,
with this service...
Hey, it's Dwight here!
257
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:50,774
...you're not
going to find this
anywhere else.
258
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,174
Dwight Schrute here.
Hey, don't hang up,
Mr. Bart.
259
00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:54,542
No, sir, don't listen...
Listen, I know times
are tough right now,
260
00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:55,773
and I laud your thriftiness.
Look, let me...
261
00:11:55,848 --> 00:11:57,406
Ryan, hand
the phone over!
262
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:58,950
Stop flustering me,
everybody!
263
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:01,009
(DWIGHT GRUNTING)
Who let this boy
on the phone?
264
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:02,179
Mr. Bart!
265
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:03,683
(GRUNTS)
266
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:05,822
I cannot believe
you lost that account!
267
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,882
He was my client
for 10 years!
268
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,259
You made him lose
the account by screaming
at him the entire time!
269
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:12,422
It's okay, Ryan.
270
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:15,092
You're a secretary!
What do you know?
271
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,135
And you're a temp!
And I'm taking your phone.
272
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:19,103
I'm confiscating this!
Hey, guys...
273
00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:22,106
You know what I want
you to do? Shake hands,
get over it.
274
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:27,776
That was not
a shake, Dwight.
275
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:30,145
We want our clients back
or we quit, Michael.
276
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:31,581
Who quits?
277
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,543
Me.
278
00:12:33,652 --> 00:12:35,745
And me.
Me, too.
279
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:36,845
You guys gotta be kidding.
280
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,446
No, we gotta be
deadly serious.
281
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,151
We'll start our
own paper company.
282
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:45,186
The Schrute-Bernard-Lapin-
Vance-Stanley Paper Company.
283
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:48,756
I love it!
I love this idea,
and I fully support you.
284
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:52,326
As a matter of fact,
I'm going to give
you some seed money.
285
00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:54,736
There you go.
There's some
seed money for you.
286
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:56,672
And you can take it,
no hard feelings,
287
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:59,233
but if you stay,
I want an apology,
288
00:12:59,311 --> 00:13:00,369
and I want a big one.
289
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,846
You want us to
apologize to you?
Yes, I do.
290
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:04,439
That's completely backwards.
291
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:05,677
It's frontwards!
292
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:07,742
Michael, you thought
you were attacking
Corporate,
293
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,219
but we were the
ones who got hurt.
294
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:10,619
You should be
apologizing to us.
295
00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:11,781
ALL: That's right.
296
00:13:11,857 --> 00:13:16,817
Michael, you always
said we were a family.
Then you went after us.
297
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:23,067
No matter how I look at
this, I am in the wrong.
298
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:28,001
And I have looked
at this thing like
100 different ways,
299
00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:31,406
from my point of view,
from their point of view,
300
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:38,376
98 others, and bottom
line, I am in the wrong.
301
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:39,747
I'm the bad guy.
302
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,781
I need you
to arrange a meeting
303
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,585
between me and
the sales staff
304
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,888
without Ryan
and Pam knowing.
305
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,291
Gasp.
306
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:51,522
Are you talking
about a secret meeting?
307
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,656
(WHISPERING)
Whatever you guys
did earlier.
308
00:13:53,732 --> 00:13:56,326
I don't know
the first thing about
secret meetings.
309
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:59,337
Just do it, okay?
Get them there.
Get them there.
310
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:00,702
I'll do the best
I can, Michael.
311
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:01,831
Are you kidding me?
312
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:04,603
Deceit does not
come easy to me.
Okay, okay, okay.
313
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,383
I really love
your outfit.
314
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:18,047
Thank you so much
for saying that.
315
00:14:18,123 --> 00:14:20,421
I can't believe
that Toby thinks
this is inappropriate.
316
00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:21,857
You look like J-Lo.
317
00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:24,455
So, from the bottom
of my heart
318
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,192
to the top of
my heart, I am sorry.
319
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:28,893
Are you giving us
our clients back?
320
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:31,334
If we could just focus
and go down the line,
321
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:34,065
and everyone would say,
"Apology accepted,"
322
00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:35,629
I think we would
all feel better,
323
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:39,508
and then we can break
out my gift to you,
324
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,705
complimentary
white chocolate bark.
325
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,748
Nobody likes that stuff,
except for you.
326
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,807
They wouldn't make it
unless people liked it.
327
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,319
Michael, just give
us our clients back.
That's all we care about.
328
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,252
Okay, if I give you
your clients back,
329
00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:52,415
there won't be enough
clients for Pam and Ryan,
330
00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:54,652
and I promised both of
them that they were
going to be salespeople.
331
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,957
So?
Fine, have your clients.
332
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,554
I can see that's what
you wanted all along.
ALL: Okay.
333
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,361
MICHAEL: However,
I rescind my apology.
334
00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:02,525
ANDY: That's fair.
STANLEY: Absolutely.
335
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:05,126
You are not reacting
at all as I had hoped.
336
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,069
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
337
00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:15,006
What did I tell you
about building forts
in my warehouse?
338
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:20,415
RYAN: Michael gave all
of our clients back to
their old salespeople.
339
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,750
So now there's not enough
for both me and Pam
to stay on.
340
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:25,051
PAM: He can only
keep one of us as
a salesperson now.
341
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,819
He'll make his decision
by the end of the day.
342
00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:28,325
I think you
should get it.
343
00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:30,685
You really
grew into it.
344
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,090
Oh.
345
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,132
I think you
should get it.
346
00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:36,599
You've changed a lot,
and you'd be good at it.
347
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,170
If you really think
that, will you tell
that to Michael?
348
00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:42,730
That would go a long
way, coming from you.
349
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:43,968
Yeah.
350
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:45,237
Thanks.
351
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:49,308
So, hey, I want to set
you up with my daughter.
352
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:51,950
Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
353
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,041
I thought you were gay.
354
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,518
(CLICKS TONGUE) Then why
would you want to set me
up with your daughter?
355
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,020
I don't know.
356
00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:58,647
Jim, could I talk
to you for a minute?
357
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,749
Sure, let me just
finish this turn.
358
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:05,458
And Bingo was
his name-o.
359
00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:08,428
Let's go.
Challenge.
360
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:10,960
I need your help.
361
00:16:11,036 --> 00:16:13,527
This whole Pam-Ryan debate
is screwing with my head.
362
00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:16,369
Well, I don't want to be
biased, but I am very close
to Ryan. You know that.
363
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:17,739
You're close
with Pam, too.
364
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,244
Oh. She's nice,
I guess.
You know what?
365
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,745
Best thing to do,
pros and cons list.
366
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:25,580
Pro for Ryan, he went
to business school.
He's my number-one choice.
367
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,209
Well, that's...
I like his hair.
368
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:30,483
Cons, Ryan, he
defrauded the company.
369
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,183
He has never
made a sale.
Okay.
370
00:16:32,257 --> 00:16:33,315
He definitely
stole my iPod.
371
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:34,825
That sounds pretty biased.
372
00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:36,155
You didn't
hear my pros.
373
00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:38,822
Environmentally conscious,
'cause his mom drives him
to work every day.
374
00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:41,661
Okay. Pam, pros,
I like her.
Mmm-hmm.
375
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,931
I think that she
is a fast learner.
376
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,699
Cons, she doesn't
always follow through.
377
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:49,103
New York and the whole
art school thing.
378
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,198
And Roy.
379
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:51,799
She has a weird voice.
That's not true.
380
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:52,969
I don't need to
tell you that.
381
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:55,570
I think she'd be
a really good
salesperson.
382
00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:58,343
I don't think you're being
totally impartial, though,
383
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:00,408
because you haven't said
one bad thing about Pam.
384
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,010
And I won't.
Okay.
385
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:04,251
So be it. Then you've
lost credibility,
386
00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:06,917
and I'm going to
go with my gut,
and that's Ryan.
387
00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:08,118
Okay.
388
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,955
You're right. Sometimes,
when she is tired,
389
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,429
she can be
a little bit shrill,
390
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:14,591
but that's not
a weird voice,
that's just...
391
00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:16,327
(EXCLAIMING)
392
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:17,494
(LAUGHING)
Take it easy.
393
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:20,436
Oh. Man! Wow!
394
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:21,700
(SHRILLY) "Honey!
395
00:17:22,574 --> 00:17:26,237
"I want you to
put the garbage out!
396
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:28,074
"'Cause I'm not gonna
have sex with you
397
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:29,978
"unless you bring
out the garbage!"
398
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,544
I have a very difficult
decision to make.
399
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,589
It's like last week
I was at the video store.
400
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,918
Do I rent Devil
Wears Prada again
401
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:47,022
or do I finally get
around to seeing
Sophie's Choice?
402
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,361
It is what you
would call a classic
difficult decision.
403
00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:55,906
You don't understand
clothing, Toby!
404
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:58,670
You're dressed like
this amorphous blob
of khaki.
405
00:17:58,744 --> 00:17:59,972
All right, look,
what you've got
to understand is
406
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:01,444
when you come to work,
407
00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:02,946
(PEOPLE GRUMBLING)
You give up
certain rights.
408
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:06,075
Listen up, Flenderson,
you're being weak
and ineffectual.
409
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:08,119
I'm cowboying
this meeting, okay?
410
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:10,951
Here are the new rules,
okay? Earth tones only.
411
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:13,253
Also, women are
forbidden to
wear pants.
412
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:15,350
All right, come on,
sit down, Dwight.
No.
413
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:16,917
I'm running
this meeting.
That's debatable.
414
00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:18,053
It's not.
Listen...
415
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:19,927
It's not. Sit down,
or I'm writing you up.
416
00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:21,761
Hmm. Where's
this guy been?
417
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,233
Casual Fridays
are canceled.
418
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:24,826
What?
Let's just not
do it anymore.
419
00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:26,598
That's not a solution.
No, it is a solution.
420
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:27,934
You're running
from the problem.
421
00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:29,803
(ALL CLAMORING)
There's not a single
appropriate outfit
422
00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:32,069
in this whole...
Except mine,
quite honestly.
423
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:34,871
Pam, could you
come in here, please?
424
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,116
Have a seat.
425
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,311
Okay.
426
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:42,948
(CLEARS THROAT)
427
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:46,722
Well, there's no
easy way of saying this,
428
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:51,661
so I think I will
just drag it out.
429
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:56,325
Since the dawn of time,
there have been...
Just tell me.
430
00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:57,993
I gave Ryan
the sales job.
431
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,671
There just werert
enough clients for
the two of you.
432
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,299
So I had to...
433
00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:06,344
I'm sorry. Sorry.
No, okay, okay,
I get it, yeah.
434
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:08,811
(LAUGHS)
435
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,145
Why are you giggling?
436
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:13,616
(LAUGHING)
437
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,348
Is this a joke?
438
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:17,615
Michael, is this...
439
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:19,852
Did I get the job?
440
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,289
Yes.
441
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,657
I did?
Yep.
442
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:25,424
For real? You're not
kidding? I did?
443
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,522
No, you're the best
person for the job.
You're going to be great.
444
00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,590
Oh, Michael, thank you!
Okay.
445
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,262
Thank you. Thank you.
You will not be sorry.
446
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:37,331
You should have seen
your face. Oh. Man!
That was classic.
447
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:38,535
(LAUGHING)
448
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:40,805
I really thought
I didn't get it.
449
00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:41,971
Oh. Really?
450
00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:43,071
Yeah.
Man.
451
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,581
That was really good.
'Cause you said I didn't.
452
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,083
That was really good.
453
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:47,482
What about Ryan?
454
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:49,885
I don't know.
I offered him
his temp job back.
455
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,081
We'll see.
456
00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:54,751
He was not happy at all
when I offered him this job,
457
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:56,987
and then I told him
that he didn't
get the job, so...
458
00:19:57,062 --> 00:19:59,826
Yeah, maybe you shouldn't
fake-fire people anymore.
459
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,458
I don't appreciate you
telling me what to do,
460
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,059
so clean out your desk.
You are through.
461
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:08,534
Thanks, Michael.
Oh.
462
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:10,268
What's our
receptionist's name?
463
00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:11,400
Erin.
464
00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:12,636
Could you send her in?
465
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:18,375
Erin, Michael
wants to see you.
466
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:20,645
(EXCLAIMING)
467
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,412
Hello.
Hi.
468
00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:25,581
Have a seat.
469
00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:29,524
This is very
difficult to say.
470
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:32,359
But no one here likes
you in the office,
471
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:34,763
and we're going to
have to let you go.
472
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:41,329
Hank, would you come
up here, please? Hank
is our security guard.
473
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,636
Oh. I can go...
He will be
ushering you out.
474
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:45,267
(LAUGHING)
475
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:46,401
Oh.
476
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:47,702
(LAUGHING)
477
00:20:47,779 --> 00:20:49,076
Oh, your face.
478
00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:50,307
Oh!
479
00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:54,250
Is... Do the people...
No, I'm kidding.
You're not fired. Yet.
480
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,251
(LAUGHING)
481
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:57,680
Do they not
like me, though?
482
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,348
I don't know,
actually.
Okay.
37033
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