All language subtitles for Teachers S01E05 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 2 0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[eng]
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1
00:00:06,833 --> 00:00:09,567
[rock music]
2
00:00:09,667 --> 00:00:10,933
- * Tear it down
3
00:00:11,033 --> 00:00:12,700
[laughter]
4
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,967
- Hey, Caroline.
5
00:00:16,067 --> 00:00:18,633
Truth or dare?
6
00:00:18,733 --> 00:00:20,867
- Truth.
[all oohing]
7
00:00:20,967 --> 00:00:24,200
- Have you ever given
road head?
8
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:26,933
- I'm not playing anymore.
9
00:00:27,033 --> 00:00:29,467
- Totally a yes.
10
00:00:29,567 --> 00:00:32,467
[laughter]
11
00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:33,967
- My turn.
12
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:37,367
Mary Louise, truth or dare?
- Dare.
13
00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:39,067
- I dare you
14
00:00:39,167 --> 00:00:41,467
to stick this bottle
up your butt.
15
00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:44,500
[laughter]
16
00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:50,100
- Breathe deep!
- Start with the skinny side!
17
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,200
- Oh, right?
- Oh. Uh-uh.
18
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,200
- I hate when you guys do this.
19
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:56,033
You're acting
like a middle school clique.
20
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:57,733
- Oh, my God.
You're right.
21
00:00:57,833 --> 00:00:59,533
That is so awesome.
22
00:00:59,633 --> 00:01:02,633
[laughter]
23
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:08,300
[indistinct chatter]
24
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,633
- Kim Rigsby
and Claire Strauss.
25
00:01:11,733 --> 00:01:12,667
John Glenn High School.
26
00:01:12,767 --> 00:01:14,800
- Oh, Caroline Watson?
27
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,733
It's been years since someone's
called me by my maiden name.
28
00:01:17,833 --> 00:01:21,667
- We're just a couple
old married ladies now.
29
00:01:21,767 --> 00:01:24,100
- Wow.
Congratulations.
30
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,900
- So, what about you?
31
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,433
Did Jacob ever
put a ring on it?
32
00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:29,267
- Oh, no.
33
00:01:29,367 --> 00:01:31,267
We actually broke up.
- Yeah, I heard that.
34
00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:34,233
- Then why did you ask?
- So, what have you been up to?
35
00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:37,500
- I'm just single
and teaching.
36
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,067
- How brave.
37
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:41,067
- It is so great
to see you moving on.
38
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,667
- Jacob clearly has.
39
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:45,500
- Oh, no. He would've told me
if he was dating someone.
40
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:52,333
- I'm gonna need a ride
to the hospital.
41
00:01:52,433 --> 00:01:57,133
*
42
00:01:59,733 --> 00:02:02,600
- Seriously, I'm fine.
43
00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:09,967
[muffled wincing]
44
00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:11,767
- Aren't you ashamed
of yourself?
45
00:02:11,867 --> 00:02:13,933
You and your little group
pressured her into putting
46
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,267
a bottle up her butt.
47
00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:16,967
- My little group?
48
00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:19,233
You were there, and you didn't
do anything to stop her.
49
00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:20,733
- Yeah,
but I wasn't a part of it.
50
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:22,233
- Oh.
51
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:24,533
Is Ethical Ethel
not part of the group anymore?
52
00:02:24,633 --> 00:02:27,533
- I'm your friend, but I can't
condone cliquey behavior.
53
00:02:27,633 --> 00:02:29,567
- Mary Louise,
do you hear something?
54
00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:32,567
It sounds like someone's
talking, but I don't see anyone.
55
00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:34,633
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, Cecelia is talking.
56
00:02:34,733 --> 00:02:37,267
- Cecelia is here?
Oh, where?
57
00:02:37,367 --> 00:02:39,400
I only see people
that are in my "group."
58
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,767
- You know what, this is
just like in middle school
59
00:02:41,867 --> 00:02:44,333
when I wouldn't help
egg Cindy Hirsch's house
60
00:02:44,433 --> 00:02:47,333
because it was mean,
and I was vegan.
61
00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:49,867
- [gasps]
The notebook is floating!
62
00:02:49,967 --> 00:02:52,433
[laughter]
63
00:02:52,533 --> 00:02:54,500
*
64
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:59,233
- Siri, are rectal
foreign objects a frequent cause
65
00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:01,967
of emergency room visits?
[tablet chimes]
66
00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:04,400
- Yes.
both: Hey.
67
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,400
- Turns out
Mary Louise isn't alone.
68
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,433
- Dude, since when
do you have an iPad?
69
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:09,733
I thought you said
they were just
70
00:03:09,833 --> 00:03:11,500
for stepdads
who were trying to relate.
71
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,800
- Yeah, but I got
really into Pinterest.
72
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:17,433
You should see
my Victorian funeral boards.
73
00:03:17,533 --> 00:03:20,100
- How much did this thing cost?
- Nada.
74
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,533
I lifted it from
the lost and found.
75
00:03:22,633 --> 00:03:24,500
As far as I'm concerned,
after three months,
76
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,767
it's up for grabs.
77
00:03:25,867 --> 00:03:28,367
- It sounds easier
than shoplifting,
78
00:03:28,467 --> 00:03:31,100
not that I know anything
about shoplifting.
79
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,067
- I just figured
their Lululemon mommies
80
00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:34,667
will buy them new ones.
81
00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:37,433
I did almost all my Christmas
shopping in the lost and found.
82
00:03:37,533 --> 00:03:39,233
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
83
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:41,333
Anything you can dream of
is in there,
84
00:03:41,433 --> 00:03:43,600
and about 300 retainers.
85
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:46,733
- Hey, have you seen any Heelys?
- What are Heelys?
86
00:03:46,833 --> 00:03:49,067
- You know, the shoes
with the wheels in them.
87
00:03:49,167 --> 00:03:50,533
You can walk normally,
88
00:03:50,633 --> 00:03:55,067
then all of a sudden,
you start rolling forever.
89
00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:58,633
- I know we're all excited
to learn about clouds today,
90
00:03:58,733 --> 00:04:02,733
but last night,
I started to get nostalgic,
91
00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:05,300
and I just thought--yes, Carl?
92
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:09,967
- What does...
n-n-n-n-nostalgic mean?
93
00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:11,500
- It means a bittersweet longing
94
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,833
for people or things
from the past.
95
00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:17,233
Anyway,
I ran into some old friends,
96
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:19,867
and when I got home,
I went online
97
00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:22,333
and looked up my ex-boyfriend
Jacob's profile.
98
00:04:22,433 --> 00:04:25,433
- But, Ms. Watson, you promised
you wouldn't do that anymore.
99
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,433
- Yeah.
I know I said that, Beth,
100
00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:30,100
but I'm an adult,
and I needed to do this.
101
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,467
- Okay.
102
00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:35,400
- So, who wants
to play a game?
103
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,100
[overlapping chatter]
104
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,067
Great.
105
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:46,133
This game is called
"Friends or More Than Friends."
106
00:04:46,233 --> 00:04:47,800
I'm gonna show you the photos
107
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:51,900
that Jacob posted online
of him and this girl,
108
00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:55,200
and I want you to tell me
if they look like friends
109
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:58,067
or more than friends, okay?
110
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,067
Friends or more than friends?
111
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,067
all: Friends!
112
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:08,800
- Great.
113
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:11,933
Friends or more than friends?
114
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:15,533
all: Friends.
115
00:05:15,633 --> 00:05:18,767
- Friends or more than friends?
116
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:24,867
It's okay.
You can be honest.
117
00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:30,467
Yes?
- More than friends?
118
00:05:30,567 --> 00:05:32,233
- David,
go to the principal's office!
119
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:34,433
- But--
- Now!
120
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,067
[door opens and closes]
121
00:05:39,167 --> 00:05:42,333
Okay.
122
00:05:42,433 --> 00:05:46,200
Friends or more than friends?
123
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,933
all: Friends.
124
00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:49,967
- Thank you.
125
00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,467
*
126
00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:56,433
- You shouldn't squint
so much.
127
00:05:56,533 --> 00:05:57,967
You'll start looking
like Keith Richards.
128
00:05:58,067 --> 00:05:59,367
- Yeah, Keith Richards.
129
00:05:59,467 --> 00:06:01,067
- Well, I wouldn't have
to squint if you'd just
130
00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:03,067
scoot over
so I could sit in the shade.
131
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,900
- Oh, we'd be perfectly willing
to scoot over,
132
00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:06,700
but then people might think
you're in the clique.
133
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,067
- Yeah, the clique.
134
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:10,100
- I will never be
in your clique.
135
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,900
Cliques encourage exclusivity,
136
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,733
and I want to promote
acceptance.
137
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:15,967
- Well, how about accepting
that your deodorant crystal
138
00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:17,933
can't stand up
to 80 degrees in alpaca?
139
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:19,867
- Yeah, alpaca.
- Okay, you need to stop that.
140
00:06:19,967 --> 00:06:22,800
- Yeah, stop that.
- Seriously?
141
00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:24,167
- Oh.
142
00:06:24,267 --> 00:06:27,300
- I feel like a sweat lodge
tragedy waiting to happen.
143
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,533
- We have plenty of beverages
to cool you down on this side.
144
00:06:29,633 --> 00:06:31,967
In fact, I'm thirsty.
145
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,667
- Bottle up your butt,
up your butt,
146
00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:36,833
up your butt,
up your butt, up your butt.
147
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:41,467
- [sighs]
All right.
148
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,633
I can't take it anymore.
I'm in.
149
00:06:43,733 --> 00:06:47,733
- Yay!
I'm so proud of you.
150
00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:49,700
[laughs]
151
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,467
See, isn't it so fun
over here?
152
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:54,400
- I'm so happy.
153
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:55,567
I haven't been this excited
154
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:57,067
since I convinced
David Weinberger
155
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,900
to accept Jesus Christ
as his Lord and Savior.
156
00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:01,467
*
157
00:07:01,567 --> 00:07:06,700
- [sobbing]
158
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:11,067
- Ms. Watson, I wanted to
introduce you to Ginny Groves.
159
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:16,500
She'll be our substitute
speech therapist for the week.
160
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,267
- Hi.
It's nice to meet you.
161
00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:21,133
- Oh, wow.
You're here.
162
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,767
- You're the l-l-l-l-lady
from the p-p-p-p--
163
00:07:23,867 --> 00:07:27,633
- Carl, that's enough!
164
00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:29,833
Well, it's great
to have you here, Jenny.
165
00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:32,133
- Oh, it's Ginny.
G-I-N-N-Y.
166
00:07:32,233 --> 00:07:33,533
- Oh.
167
00:07:33,633 --> 00:07:35,367
I would've pronounced
that "Giney."
168
00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:38,667
- Well, I will be back a little
later to take Carl from you.
169
00:07:38,767 --> 00:07:40,700
- Haven't you
already taken enough?
170
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,067
- What?
- What?
171
00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:45,800
- What?
172
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:49,400
Ms. Watson, perhaps
you can show Ginny around,
173
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,367
answer any questions Ginny has?
174
00:07:51,467 --> 00:07:52,800
- Of course.
175
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:55,067
And I might even have
some questions for her.
176
00:07:55,167 --> 00:08:00,667
[laughs]
177
00:08:00,767 --> 00:08:02,933
Looking forward to it, Giney.
- Ginny.
178
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,500
- Uh-huh.
179
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,333
- Okay.
180
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,733
- She looks prettier
in person.
181
00:08:12,833 --> 00:08:14,367
- I want you to go
to the corner and think about
182
00:08:14,467 --> 00:08:16,967
what you just said, okay?
183
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,667
- * Tear it down
184
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,167
[rock music]
185
00:08:23,267 --> 00:08:25,500
* Tear it down
186
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,067
- That's the famous Jacob.
187
00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:28,567
- I can't believe
I have to spend the day
188
00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:31,200
with my ex-boyfriend's
new girlfriend.
189
00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:34,067
- Yeah, she sucks.
190
00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:35,867
What do you think, Cecelia?
191
00:08:35,967 --> 00:08:38,600
You're in the group,
aren't you?
192
00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:46,333
- Yeah, she's a tramp.
193
00:08:46,433 --> 00:08:47,533
- Aww, thank you.
194
00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:49,567
- I taught him to do
all that stuff.
195
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:50,900
When he refused to read
"The Notebook,"
196
00:08:51,067 --> 00:08:52,433
I played the movie
while he slept
197
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,433
so he would subliminally
absorb it.
198
00:08:54,533 --> 00:08:55,900
- Why did you guys
break up again?
199
00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:57,900
- I suggested
we get a puppy, you know,
200
00:08:58,067 --> 00:09:00,500
to warm him up to the idea
of a baby.
201
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,067
But he was so commitment-phobic
202
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:05,200
that when I brought it up,
he broke up with me over a dog.
203
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,933
- Bastard.
- We were really in love.
204
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:12,533
I thought we were gonna
get married.
205
00:09:12,633 --> 00:09:14,800
Oh, my God!
206
00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:16,533
That hussy is kissing
my ex-boyfriend
207
00:09:16,633 --> 00:09:18,567
in front of my school!
208
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:19,700
- Don't worry, girl.
209
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,067
We got your back.
- Yeah.
210
00:09:21,133 --> 00:09:23,533
That bitch better sleep
with one eye open,
211
00:09:23,633 --> 00:09:25,433
or I'm gonna stab her
in the neck!
212
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:29,533
*
213
00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:30,967
- This is the teachers' lounge.
214
00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:33,367
Coffee, doughnuts, you get it.
Moving on.
215
00:09:33,467 --> 00:09:35,367
- Ooh, I love your bracelet.
216
00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:38,433
- Thanks.
I made it.
217
00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:40,333
- A fellow crafter?
218
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:43,267
Do you tumble your own stones?
- Uh, yeah.
219
00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:45,733
It's not homemade unless
you tumble your own stones.
220
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:48,433
- That's what I always say.
You know what?
221
00:09:48,533 --> 00:09:49,867
I have always wanted
to take that class
222
00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:51,967
at the adult learning annex,
but they always fill up.
223
00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:54,400
- Ugh, tell me about it.
- Yes, and when a spot
224
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:55,833
did open up,
it was on a Wednesday
225
00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:57,500
when I have
synchronized swimming class.
226
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:58,667
- Oh, my God.
227
00:09:58,767 --> 00:10:00,333
I also do water ballet.
228
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,033
- Okay.
Hold on.
229
00:10:02,133 --> 00:10:03,267
On the count of three,
230
00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:05,300
say your favorite
synchronized swimming position.
231
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,133
One, two, three.
232
00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:10,600
both: Dolphin arch!
233
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:12,167
- Everyone always says,
"Flamingo position."
234
00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:13,333
- I know, but it is...
235
00:10:13,433 --> 00:10:15,133
both: A total waste of time!
236
00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:17,533
[both laugh]
237
00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:19,533
- Wow!
We have so much in common.
238
00:10:19,633 --> 00:10:21,867
You would not believe how many
people don't share my interests!
239
00:10:21,967 --> 00:10:23,867
- I know!
We should totally hang out.
240
00:10:23,967 --> 00:10:24,867
- Yes!
- You should come
241
00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:25,867
to a wine tasting with me
242
00:10:25,967 --> 00:10:28,833
and my boyfriend sometime!
243
00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:32,033
- No, I can't.
244
00:10:32,133 --> 00:10:34,267
I'm busy.
245
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,667
Moving on.
246
00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:38,933
- Feldman?
247
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:41,367
Are you trying out
a Harajuku girl lifestyle?
248
00:10:41,467 --> 00:10:42,700
- Sorry, dude.
249
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,633
Gotta turn down
these sweet jams.
250
00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:46,167
- Is all this stuff
from the lost and found?
251
00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:49,267
- Yeah.
But clothes can be problematic.
252
00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:50,633
I fit into this vest,
253
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,233
but I had to cut myself
out of a pair of jeans.
254
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:54,933
- You're too obvious.
255
00:10:55,033 --> 00:10:57,567
You're supposed to keep your eye
on an item for a while,
256
00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:58,800
and then steal it.
257
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:01,067
- Chill out,
McGruff the Crime Dog.
258
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,867
I rock this stuff
like I was born wearing it.
259
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,667
- Hey, my sunglasses!
260
00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:07,833
I've been looking for those!
261
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:10,067
- Well, apparently,
you missed my face
262
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,367
because that's where I've been
holding them for you.
263
00:11:12,467 --> 00:11:14,900
- You stole them.
I'm telling Principal Pearson.
264
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:18,067
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
265
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,367
Here you go.
266
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,633
And here's an iPad
to keep quiet.
267
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,733
- What?
One kid noticed.
268
00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:37,267
- Hey, that's my vest!
I'm telling!
269
00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:40,767
Principal Pearson!
Principal Pearson!
270
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,733
- Then Tucky surprised me
the other day
271
00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:45,067
with a hot air balloon ride.
272
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,300
- "Tucky"?
273
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,567
- Oh, I started calling Jacob
that after he surprised me
274
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,533
with a trip to Nantucket.
Tucky!
275
00:11:50,633 --> 00:11:52,133
Have you ever been there?
276
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:53,067
- Yeah.
277
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,733
It's my favorite island.
278
00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:57,500
- Oh, he's the best.
279
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,467
- Wow. Sounds like he
doesn't have any flaws
280
00:12:00,567 --> 00:12:02,967
like not putting back
your decorative pillows
281
00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:04,533
after he makes the bed
or forgetting
282
00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:07,067
to use your rose-petal room mist
after using the bathroom.
283
00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:09,267
- Oh, he used to do stuff
like that all the time,
284
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,600
but not anymore.
285
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:15,400
He said he wanted
to change for me.
286
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,867
- Amazing.
- Although,
287
00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:19,433
there is one thing about him
that drives me nuts.
288
00:12:19,533 --> 00:12:22,300
- Great.
I mean, what is it?
289
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:23,633
- He's too involved.
290
00:12:23,733 --> 00:12:26,300
Sometimes I'm like,
"Okay, just because I'm reading
291
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,667
all of Nicholas Sparks' books
doesn't mean you have to."
292
00:12:28,767 --> 00:12:30,933
- [laughs]
Right?
293
00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:34,400
- Right.
294
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:36,167
- [grunts]
295
00:12:36,267 --> 00:12:39,467
This potholder
is taking forever.
296
00:12:39,567 --> 00:12:43,233
- Oh, I just finished mine.
297
00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:45,067
The T is for "Tucky."
298
00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:52,400
- You know what you
and Tucky should do?
299
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,833
- What?
300
00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:57,467
- You should adopt a dog.
301
00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:59,367
- Aww.
302
00:12:59,467 --> 00:13:01,667
[laughter]
303
00:13:01,767 --> 00:13:03,067
- This will teach her to date
304
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:04,700
one of our friends'
ex-boyfriends!
305
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,133
[laughter]
306
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:07,333
- You spelled the name wrong.
307
00:13:07,433 --> 00:13:08,733
It's Ginny with a G.
308
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,567
- I know.
I'm being mean.
309
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:13,067
[laughter]
310
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:15,733
- I just took a dump
in her desk.
311
00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:17,733
- Oh, my God.
312
00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,167
It's not even her desk.
313
00:13:19,267 --> 00:13:21,533
- She's a sub.
- This clique rules!
314
00:13:21,633 --> 00:13:23,867
I don't know why I didn't
do this in middle school.
315
00:13:23,967 --> 00:13:25,333
[gasps]
Oh, my God!
316
00:13:25,433 --> 00:13:27,167
Have you guys seen
the movie "Carrie"?
317
00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:31,067
I have pig's blood in my trunk
from my last protest.
318
00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:32,500
I'll be right back!
319
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,133
*
320
00:13:38,733 --> 00:13:40,067
- * Tear it down
321
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,400
[rock music]
322
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:43,133
* Tear it down
323
00:13:43,233 --> 00:13:45,200
- [sobbing]
Oh, there you are.
324
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:46,667
I've been looking
all over for you.
325
00:13:46,767 --> 00:13:48,333
- What's wrong?
326
00:13:48,433 --> 00:13:50,967
Did you get shut out
of the herbal soap making class?
327
00:13:51,067 --> 00:13:54,967
- No.
Jacob and I broke up.
328
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,367
I just feel sick.
329
00:13:57,467 --> 00:14:00,433
[sobbing]
330
00:14:00,533 --> 00:14:01,833
- What happened?
331
00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:04,333
- Last night, we got home
from a couple's cooking class.
332
00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:06,200
- You guys go to cooking class?
- Yeah.
333
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:09,867
And everything was going fine
until I decided to bring up
334
00:14:09,967 --> 00:14:11,400
getting a dog
like you suggested.
335
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,433
- Uh-huh?
- And he totally freaked out,
336
00:14:14,533 --> 00:14:16,133
and he said
that that was exactly
337
00:14:16,233 --> 00:14:18,267
what happened with his ex.
338
00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:20,300
[sobbing]
339
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,967
- Did he say anything
else about her?
340
00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,900
- What?
No.
341
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,700
And then, before I knew it,
he was just--
342
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,067
he said it was over!
343
00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:33,067
And then, this morning,
I get here,
344
00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:35,800
and some students
had vandalized my office.
345
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:38,333
- That's terrible.
- Someone actually defecated
346
00:14:38,433 --> 00:14:40,367
in my desk drawer.
- Oh, my God.
347
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:42,267
- And I'm pretty sure
they were vegan
348
00:14:42,367 --> 00:14:45,700
'cause the smell was awful.
349
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,767
- Oh, my God.
350
00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:51,200
- And I just--ugh!
351
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:55,133
I've never had my heart broken
like this before.
352
00:14:55,233 --> 00:14:57,467
I thought he was the one.
353
00:14:57,567 --> 00:15:00,300
- I know.
354
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,133
It's the worst feeling.
355
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,167
- I've got to go
disinfect my desk.
356
00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:10,367
But maybe we can talk later?
357
00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:11,900
- Sure.
358
00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:15,167
- Okay.
359
00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:18,067
You're an angel.
360
00:15:20,967 --> 00:15:23,767
- I'm a monster.
361
00:15:23,867 --> 00:15:26,300
- Crap!
Did I miss her?
362
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:29,933
- No running!
363
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:33,733
- Dude, I'm sorry I derailed
your lost and found gravy train.
364
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,100
- It's okay.
I knew it was too good to last.
365
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,700
- You put all your stuff back?
366
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,833
- Yeah.
My husband's gonna be pissed
367
00:15:39,933 --> 00:15:41,633
when he realizes
half our Xbox games
368
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,067
and our stash
of ADD meds are gone.
369
00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:46,067
- Hmm.
- Did you return everything?
370
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:47,867
- Yeah.
- Really?
371
00:15:47,967 --> 00:15:49,600
- Mm-hmm.
- Feldman.
372
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,100
- Smell you later.
373
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,300
[uplifting music]
374
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,333
*
375
00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:59,433
- You bounce back
surprisingly quickly
376
00:15:59,533 --> 00:16:01,167
after putting a bottle
up your butt.
377
00:16:01,267 --> 00:16:02,833
- You know,
the human body's pretty amazing,
378
00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:04,167
the way it heals itself.
379
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,433
- Oh, my God, you guys!
380
00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:06,933
Guess what! Hey!
381
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,833
What did I tell you,
you bald freak?
382
00:16:08,933 --> 00:16:10,433
You don't sit at our table!
383
00:16:10,533 --> 00:16:12,633
Get the hell out of here!
384
00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:17,100
[laughs]
385
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,867
- What is wrong with you?
That is Mr. Spinnoli.
386
00:16:19,967 --> 00:16:21,833
- He teaches special ed.
387
00:16:21,933 --> 00:16:23,067
- So?
- Okay.
388
00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:24,233
I can't take it anymore.
389
00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:25,867
I am dissolving this clique.
- What?
390
00:16:25,967 --> 00:16:27,067
- You are out of control.
391
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:29,067
This morning's desk incident?
392
00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:30,433
Who can poop on cue?
393
00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:32,400
- I doubled up
on my mung beans.
394
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,167
- This clique used to be fun,
395
00:16:34,267 --> 00:16:36,600
but now it's kind of scary.
- Yeah.
396
00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:39,067
I dated a Latin King once,
and it was not this bad.
397
00:16:39,133 --> 00:16:40,633
- So we're done?
- Yeah.
398
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,567
We are done.
399
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:44,067
- Good.
400
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,600
I'm glad I made my point.
401
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:50,233
- What point?
402
00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:52,567
- I decided the best way
to show you
403
00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:54,900
how awful cliques were
was to infiltrate yours
404
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:57,267
and mimic your behavior...
405
00:16:57,367 --> 00:17:00,100
to affect social change.
406
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,500
- Right.
You took a dump for change.
407
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:07,133
- I just can't believe
it's over.
408
00:17:07,233 --> 00:17:08,567
- Don't beat yourself up.
409
00:17:08,667 --> 00:17:11,067
It's perfectly reasonable
to want a dog.
410
00:17:11,167 --> 00:17:12,933
- You're absolutely right,
Caroline.
411
00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:15,067
You know what?
I am so glad we met.
412
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:17,833
You...you have been
such a great friend.
413
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:25,433
- Actually, that's not true.
Listen--
414
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:27,567
- Excuse me.
Where's the teachers' lounge?
415
00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:30,933
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
416
00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:33,133
- Oh, my pen!
- What?
417
00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:36,100
- Ginny.
418
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,167
I need to talk to you.
419
00:17:37,267 --> 00:17:38,933
- Jacob,
what are you doing here?
420
00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:40,633
- I freaked out yesterday.
421
00:17:40,733 --> 00:17:41,867
I-I blew it.
422
00:17:41,967 --> 00:17:43,233
- Did you get me a puppy?
423
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:48,900
- No, I got us a puppy.
424
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:52,333
And that's not all.
Here.
425
00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:56,200
I've never met another woman
like you.
426
00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:58,267
No one has ever measured
up to you.
427
00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,767
No one ever will.
428
00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:05,167
Virginia Anne Groves...
will you marry me?
429
00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:08,067
- Tucky!
430
00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:11,200
Yes!
Yes!
431
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,967
- Are you kidding me?
432
00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:16,133
Did you seriously just propose
at my school?
433
00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:18,800
I did everything for you.
434
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:22,067
Eat [bleep]! Eat [bleep]!
Eat [bleep]! Eat [bleep]!
435
00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:23,200
Eat [bleep]!
436
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:25,100
You, sir, can eat [bleep]!
437
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,233
Eat [bleep]!
Eat [bleep]!
438
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:27,500
Eat all of the [bleep]!
439
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:28,467
Just eat it!
440
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:29,800
You're a [bleep] eater!
441
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,300
Eat [bleep]! Eat [bleep]!
442
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,833
Eat it!
Eat [bleep]!
443
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:40,200
Ginny...
444
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:44,533
I wish you all the happiness
in the world.
445
00:18:44,633 --> 00:18:49,400
This is a really great dog.
446
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,767
Jacob, you can eat [bleep].
447
00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:53,767
- Yeah.
448
00:18:57,333 --> 00:18:59,467
[rock music]
449
00:19:02,867 --> 00:19:05,367
- * Tear it down
450
00:19:05,467 --> 00:19:08,067
- Rough day, sister.
How you holding up?
451
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:09,233
- I'm fine.
452
00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:11,167
I think I handled it
really well.
453
00:19:11,267 --> 00:19:12,433
Besides, she needs
to get married
454
00:19:12,533 --> 00:19:14,833
so she can change
her last name.
455
00:19:14,933 --> 00:19:16,700
Virginia Ann Groves?
456
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,200
Her monogram is VAG.
457
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:20,067
[women giggling]
458
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:23,367
[indistinct chatter]
459
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:27,267
I'll be right back.
460
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,067
Hello.
- Caroline.
461
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,067
We'd hoped we'd see you here.
- Oh, why?
462
00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:34,067
So you could rub it in my face
that I'm still single?
463
00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:35,433
Well, guess what.
464
00:19:35,533 --> 00:19:37,100
Jacob got engaged
to another woman today,
465
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,633
and I actually helped.
466
00:19:38,733 --> 00:19:41,267
And I realized I don't need
to get married.
467
00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:42,733
I don't need a man.
468
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,267
I don't need anyone.
469
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:46,133
I can sit at home all day
470
00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:47,533
watching
"International House Hunters"
471
00:19:47,633 --> 00:19:49,167
if that's what I want to do.
472
00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:50,733
I'm a survivor.
473
00:19:50,833 --> 00:19:52,333
I listen to Beyoncé!
474
00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:56,067
So...bow down, bitches!
475
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,067
- Well, we were gonna
give you my brother's number.
476
00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:00,400
He's a surgeon.
477
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,100
- And I'll gladly take it.
478
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,333
[rock music]
479
00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:10,033
[rock music]
480
00:20:10,133 --> 00:20:18,067
*
481
00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:19,733
- * Tear it down
482
00:20:19,833 --> 00:20:20,933
*
483
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:22,533
* Tear it down *
484
00:20:22,633 --> 00:20:23,767
*
485
00:20:23,867 --> 00:20:25,100
* Tear it down
486
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,267
*
487
00:20:26,367 --> 00:20:28,433
* Tear it down
488
00:20:29,867 --> 00:20:31,667
- Oh, yeah.
33637
