All language subtitles for Teachers (2016) S02E17 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 2 0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,967 --> 00:00:11,100 [classy piano music] 2 00:00:11,167 --> 00:00:12,767 - Thanks for another great date. 3 00:00:12,833 --> 00:00:17,800 Here's to many, many, many, many, many, many more. 4 00:00:17,867 --> 00:00:19,933 To us. 5 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,067 To us! [women laugh] 6 00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:25,933 Oh. Mmm. Are you gonna eat those shrimps? 7 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,267 Ugh, I friggin' love shrimp. 8 00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:30,633 Mmm, mmm, mmm. Mmm. 9 00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:33,633 [rock music] 10 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,600 * * 11 00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:37,233 - * Tear it down * 12 00:00:39,533 --> 00:00:41,433 [squish] 13 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:46,500 - Who keeps pooping in the hallway? 14 00:00:46,567 --> 00:00:48,000 - Ding-dong. 15 00:00:48,067 --> 00:00:52,800 I have a delivery here for Ms. Mary Louise Bennigan. 16 00:00:52,867 --> 00:00:55,633 - That's me. I'm Ms. Mary Louise Bennigan. 17 00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:56,700 And your name is? 18 00:00:56,767 --> 00:00:58,600 Just kidding. I know you're name. 19 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:01,500 [gasps] Wow. These are beautiful. 20 00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:04,233 You must've gotten these from a really fancy supermarket. 21 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:05,433 - Ah, I went to a florist. 22 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,300 - Oh, I can't take these. 23 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,700 - They're yours. - Ah, I feel like I can't. 24 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,067 Yes! 25 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,500 - Well, I came by to see 26 00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:16,733 if you would like to go out again tonight. 27 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,100 - I'd love to. 28 00:01:18,167 --> 00:01:19,633 Let me check and see if Chelsea's free. 29 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:22,567 - Uh, actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. 30 00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:24,067 I know Chelsea's your friend-- 31 00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:25,400 - Best friend. - Right. 32 00:01:25,467 --> 00:01:27,300 But she's been on most of our dates so far. 33 00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:28,567 - Just four. - Out of five. 34 00:01:28,633 --> 00:01:31,067 And I was wondering if tonight, 35 00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:32,833 it could just be the two of us. 36 00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:35,333 - I'd love that, but I don't think Chelsea 37 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,667 has anything else lined up. 38 00:01:36,733 --> 00:01:38,600 And she just got kicked off Tinder 39 00:01:38,667 --> 00:01:42,067 for having all three private areas as her profile picture. 40 00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:44,067 - Wow. 41 00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:46,667 Uh, well, I'm sure she'll be fine. 42 00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:50,333 She is an adult. - She prefers advanced teen. 43 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,800 This is gonna be rough. 44 00:01:51,867 --> 00:01:53,967 - Oh, this happens every year. 45 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:56,167 That was the third rogue poop this week. 46 00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:57,533 - Actually, fourth. 47 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,800 Mr. Spinnoli stepped in a hot human turd. 48 00:01:59,867 --> 00:02:02,567 That's why he stopped wearing Tevas. 49 00:02:02,633 --> 00:02:04,600 - It's got to be Bradley G. 50 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:07,800 He and his friends pooped all over the school last year. 51 00:02:07,867 --> 00:02:09,267 I've got a plan. 52 00:02:09,333 --> 00:02:11,400 We'll monitor all the boys in school, 53 00:02:11,467 --> 00:02:12,967 listen in on their conversations, 54 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:15,067 search their desks, watch their online activity, 55 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:16,567 do whatever it takes. 56 00:02:16,633 --> 00:02:19,067 - Isn't that kind of an invasion of their privacy? 57 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,567 - [scoffs] Students' rights don't mean diddly 58 00:02:21,633 --> 00:02:23,933 when there's a poop terrorist. 59 00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:27,333 - And remember, when it comes to Georgia O'Keeffe... 60 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,567 all: It's never just a flower. 61 00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:32,733 - Excellent. Great job, guys. 62 00:02:34,367 --> 00:02:36,100 - Oh. 63 00:02:36,167 --> 00:02:38,733 [screams] - No, Caroline, don't! 64 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:42,133 [gasps] 65 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,800 - What? It was a cockroach. 66 00:02:44,867 --> 00:02:46,467 - Murderer. 67 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,233 [suspenseful music] 68 00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:51,800 - Security checkpoint, boys. 69 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,400 - Why didn't you stop those girls? 70 00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:54,967 - Because the girls 71 00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:57,067 weren't brought up in a culture that glorifies poop. 72 00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,567 Now empty your pockets. 73 00:02:58,633 --> 00:03:00,400 So you know what you're looking for? 74 00:03:00,467 --> 00:03:01,933 - Anything having to do with poop, 75 00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:04,700 number two, dookie, doo-doo. - You got it. 76 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,367 - But butter, Lincoln logs, 77 00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:08,133 chocolate thunder, human Tootsie Rolls. 78 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,400 - Yeah, I said you got it. 79 00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:11,067 What's in the lunch box, Terrence? 80 00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:12,300 - My lunch. 81 00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:13,500 - Really? 82 00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:16,633 [scoffs] Shredded Wheat? 83 00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:18,933 Pretty high-fiber snack here, Terrence. 84 00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:22,567 You planning on using this at both ends today? 85 00:03:25,533 --> 00:03:28,067 - I have got to get ass implants. 86 00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:30,433 - Hey, there, Chelse-a-roo. 87 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,833 How's it hanging, girlfriend? 88 00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:34,800 - Why are you acting strange? 89 00:03:34,867 --> 00:03:37,067 [gasps] Did you and Hot Dad do butt stuff? 90 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:39,733 Ugh, I told you you'd feel weird the next day. 91 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,633 - What? No. I never-- I never. 92 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:46,500 Uh, but I did talk to him this morning, and tonight-- 93 00:03:46,567 --> 00:03:48,067 He's joining us to watch 94 00:03:48,133 --> 00:03:49,767 "Teen Mom Where Are They Now: Regular Moms"? 95 00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:51,233 Oh, I forgot it's Tuesday. - That's perfect. 96 00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:52,633 Afterwards, you and Hot Dad 97 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,267 can help us assemble my new bookshelf. 98 00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:56,267 And then I'm gonna buy books for it so I look smart. 99 00:03:56,333 --> 00:03:58,600 I really want to start picking up tech-industry guys. 100 00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:00,067 - He and I already made plans 101 00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:01,800 to go to the Great American Pasta Company. 102 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,667 - Okay, we can do that instead. 103 00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:06,933 - Actually, I was thinking it could just be the two of us. 104 00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:09,867 It's just now that we're dating, 105 00:04:09,933 --> 00:04:11,867 we need to spend some time together alone 106 00:04:11,933 --> 00:04:14,900 to see what our relationship is like with-- 107 00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:16,367 without you. 108 00:04:16,433 --> 00:04:18,767 - So you're bailing on me? 109 00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:21,533 Whatever. I'll just spend the night by myself. 110 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,200 Everyone needs a little bit of alone time-- 111 00:04:23,267 --> 00:04:25,533 like Kim Kardashian after she got robbed in Paris. 112 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,067 [both chuckle] 113 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:31,067 [romantic music] 114 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:38,100 * * 115 00:04:53,967 --> 00:04:54,933 - Chelsea? 116 00:04:55,067 --> 00:04:57,367 - Oh, my God. 117 00:04:57,433 --> 00:04:59,067 Mary Louise? 118 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,667 Is that you? 119 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:02,267 Ugh, I don't have my contacts in. 120 00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:03,633 What are you doing here? 121 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:05,200 - We're on our date. 122 00:05:05,267 --> 00:05:06,500 - What a coincidence. 123 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,333 Armen and I are here on a date, too. 124 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,600 [laughs] It's his favorite restaurant. 125 00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:12,600 You guys have a good night. 126 00:05:14,433 --> 00:05:16,367 [chuckles] 127 00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:20,600 - Uh, just so you know, my break is only 15 minutes. 128 00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:23,667 - Okay, Dane Cook. [laughing] 129 00:05:23,733 --> 00:05:24,967 I am not leaving here tonight 130 00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:28,233 without a hot stock tip from you. 131 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:30,533 - I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about. 132 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,133 - Yes, you do. 133 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,767 Don't think I don't know that you golf with the mayor. 134 00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,433 [laughs] 135 00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:38,600 - Hey, blue Volvo. 136 00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,900 - I'm so sorry. I got to get back to work. 137 00:05:40,967 --> 00:05:42,067 - Oh. 138 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,767 Okay. Okay. 139 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:02,067 - Chelsea? - Hmm? 140 00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:03,733 - Would you like to join us? 141 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,333 - Oh, I don't want to impose. 142 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,833 Okay, fine. [laughs] 143 00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:14,067 Oh, I cannot get enough of these shrimp. 144 00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:16,267 Oh! Mmm. 145 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,367 Mmm. 146 00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:21,900 Ooh, baby. [chuckles] That's a cheap wine. 147 00:06:24,267 --> 00:06:25,300 [rock music] 148 00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:26,900 - Cecilia freaked out 149 00:06:26,967 --> 00:06:29,533 and called me a murderer for killing some dumb bug. 150 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,167 - Don't sweat it. 151 00:06:31,233 --> 00:06:33,067 She called me the same thing when I peeled an orange. 152 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:35,100 Hey, girl. Pasta? 153 00:06:35,167 --> 00:06:38,900 - Chelsea, I can't believe you crashed our date. 154 00:06:38,967 --> 00:06:40,533 - I can't help it that you went to my favorite restaurant. 155 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,933 - You hate that place. 156 00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,933 You said that Great American Pasta Company 157 00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:45,933 was for fat Italian trash. 158 00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:47,767 - No, I said it was for fat trash who want to be Italian. 159 00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:49,533 - I know your date was the valet. 160 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,267 He got our car when we left. 161 00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:53,167 - He just likes helping strangers retrieve their cars, 162 00:06:53,233 --> 00:06:55,800 and he's so into it, they gave him a uniform. 163 00:06:55,867 --> 00:06:57,533 - Okay, Chelsea, it's really important 164 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,367 that we spend time together alone. 165 00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:00,833 - I know. I miss you-- 166 00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,600 - No, I mean Hot Dad and me! 167 00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:04,133 - So now you're one of those girls 168 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,500 who gets a boyfriend and completely disappears? 169 00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:06,867 - You've literally left me 170 00:07:06,933 --> 00:07:09,067 at hundreds of bars without a ride home. 171 00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:12,467 Just last weekend you ditched me for a pharmaceutical sales rep. 172 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,300 - He manages the entire Midwest territory. 173 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:16,267 What was I supposed to do-- not sleep with him? 174 00:07:16,333 --> 00:07:17,967 - Okay, you know what? If you're gonna act like this, 175 00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:19,800 then I don't want to hang out with you anymore. 176 00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:21,433 And don't try to win me back 177 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,233 by saying I can sleep over in your bed tonight, 178 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,300 because we both know you never follow through! 179 00:07:25,367 --> 00:07:27,767 - Ah! [sighs] 180 00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,600 - This is really good. 181 00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:32,600 [suspenseful music] 182 00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:35,233 * * 183 00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:38,067 - New development? - Ah, get down. 184 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:40,433 I found this. 185 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:42,433 An attack is imminent. 186 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:46,067 * * 187 00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:47,767 - Bradley G's dropping a bomb! 188 00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:49,367 - Go, go, go! 189 00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:50,433 * * 190 00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,067 Pooper! - Freeze! 191 00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:53,600 - Thought you could get away with it, 192 00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:55,267 didn't you, you fecal insurgent? 193 00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:57,433 - Get away with what? I was just tying my shoe. 194 00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,067 - Nice try, dude. 195 00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:01,867 We're taking you to the detention monitoring center. 196 00:08:01,933 --> 00:08:03,433 - Please, I don't want to go to Ditmo! 197 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:04,833 - Move! 198 00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:09,167 - You should never kill a living thing, 199 00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:12,133 because each and every life is precious, 200 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,367 including a cockroach like Kevin. 201 00:08:14,433 --> 00:08:17,500 - Kevin? Okay, you can't be serious. 202 00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:18,667 - Oh, I am. 203 00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,233 You see, I knew Kevin. 204 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,167 He used to peacefully roam these halls, 205 00:08:22,233 --> 00:08:24,633 minding his own business, never hurting anybody. 206 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:26,833 - He was a cockroach, Cecilia. 207 00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:29,367 We can't be expected to live amongst cockroaches. 208 00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:30,967 - Well, we should. 209 00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:33,667 Insects were here first, by over 300 million years. 210 00:08:33,733 --> 00:08:35,167 So, technically, we're on their turf. 211 00:08:35,233 --> 00:08:37,300 - Whatever. I had to kill him. 212 00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:38,767 - Did you, Caroline? 213 00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:40,733 Or could you have just covered him with a cup, 214 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,467 slid a piece of paper under it, and released him into the wild? 215 00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:45,300 - Why would I ruin a cup? 216 00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:47,067 - Ms. Cannon, look. 217 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,700 - Wow, Karina. That's a beautiful depiction of Kevin. 218 00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:54,367 - He's up in Heaven with all the other bugs Ms. Watson's killed. 219 00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,367 - Mass murderer. 220 00:08:56,433 --> 00:08:58,067 [high-pitched children's music playing] 221 00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,867 - * We do the Spooky Shuffle * 222 00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:03,667 - Ah! Please, I can't take this music anymore! 223 00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:05,333 It wasn't me, okay? 224 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,433 - You'll be in Ditmo for an indefinite amount of time 225 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,933 unless you confess. 226 00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:13,067 And if you think the "Spooky Shuffle" is bad, 227 00:09:13,133 --> 00:09:14,733 here comes "Snap Outta My Life." 228 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:15,867 - No. 229 00:09:15,933 --> 00:09:17,567 No, no. Aah! 230 00:09:17,633 --> 00:09:19,533 No! 231 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,567 Why? 232 00:09:21,633 --> 00:09:24,567 - It's only a matter of time before he breaks. 233 00:09:24,633 --> 00:09:25,933 [squish] 234 00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:28,900 - [gasps] We got the wrong guy. 235 00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:31,500 The pooper's still on the loose. 236 00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:32,733 - Am I...? 237 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,567 - Yeah. 238 00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:35,900 - Is it all over my back? 239 00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:37,867 - Oh, yeah, you're covered in poop. 240 00:09:37,933 --> 00:09:39,933 [rock music] 241 00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:41,933 - Today we'll be reviewing the place value 242 00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,700 for tens and hundreds. 243 00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:46,233 Although, to be honest, until you get to the thousands, 244 00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,467 it's really not that important. 245 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:54,633 What's this? 246 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,067 - Ms. Cannon put out food 247 00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,733 for Kevin's friends and family 248 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,433 to help them deal with their grief. 249 00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,033 [cap clatters] 250 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,533 The cockroaches are sitting shivah for Kevin. 251 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:07,167 [creepy music] 252 00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:12,200 - Cecilia! 253 00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:15,267 - Does anyone want to hang out with me tonight? 254 00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:17,233 [school bell rings] I'm just asking 255 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,900 'cause if nobody does, then I'll have to be alone, so... 256 00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,267 - I'm busy. 257 00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:24,000 - Sorry, dog. - Same. Sorry. 258 00:10:24,067 --> 00:10:26,567 - Nobody? Seriously? 259 00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:30,233 - What did you have in mind? 260 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:31,767 - I just want to hang out, drink some wine, 261 00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:33,100 put together my Swedish bookshelf. 262 00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:34,767 [chuckles] - No, thanks. I'll pass. 263 00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:37,033 - Oh, my God. You're turning me down? 264 00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:41,233 This is literally the lowest moment of my life. 265 00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:44,233 [traditional Italian music] 266 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:46,133 - I know it was hard for you, 267 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,400 but I really appreciate you taking the time just for us. 268 00:10:48,467 --> 00:10:49,900 - Of course. 269 00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:52,867 You look really nice, by the way. 270 00:10:52,933 --> 00:10:55,533 Your eyes are as brown as... 271 00:10:57,633 --> 00:10:58,767 This meatball. 272 00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:00,600 - [laughs] Well, thank you. 273 00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:02,467 I love meatballs, so that's high praise. 274 00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:03,667 - [chuckles] 275 00:11:03,733 --> 00:11:05,700 - And that is a bookshelf. 276 00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:09,300 [giggles] I did good. 277 00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:13,167 Why are there so many tiny nubs left over? 278 00:11:13,233 --> 00:11:14,567 Whatever. 279 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,833 [line trilling] 280 00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:28,300 - How's that frog you rescued doing? 281 00:11:28,367 --> 00:11:29,900 - He's better. [cell phone vibrates] 282 00:11:29,967 --> 00:11:31,433 Yeah, it wasn't easy. 283 00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:33,300 It's really hard putting a catheter in a frog, 284 00:11:33,367 --> 00:11:34,900 and it's nearly impossible to get it out. 285 00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:37,067 - Yeah, you have "ribbit" out. [giggles] 286 00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,967 - Yeah, if they do it too quick, they croak. 287 00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,233 [both laugh] 288 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,133 - Straight to voice mail? [scoffs] 289 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,967 I should've ended our friendship when she decided 290 00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:46,500 to do Meals on Wheels instead of being my designated driver 291 00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:47,967 at the Women's March. 292 00:11:48,067 --> 00:11:50,267 [gasps] 293 00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:55,233 [line trilling] 294 00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,800 [cell phone vibrates] - [sighs] 295 00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:59,300 I'm really sorry. 296 00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,367 It's just Chelsea's called twice now, 297 00:12:01,433 --> 00:12:04,067 and I'm worried it might be an emergency. 298 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:05,500 Chelsea? - It's an emergency. 299 00:12:05,567 --> 00:12:08,200 My bookshelf just fell on me, and I'm-- 300 00:12:08,267 --> 00:12:10,833 I'm--I'm kind of, like, terrified. 301 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:14,267 - A bookshelf? Do you really expect me to believe that a-- 302 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,200 - Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but I'm being serious. 303 00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:17,733 I need you to come over now. 304 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,067 - No, I'm on a date. 305 00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:24,300 - Maybe I could free myself if I cut my hair. 306 00:12:24,367 --> 00:12:26,500 - Oh, my goodness. I'll be right there. 307 00:12:26,567 --> 00:12:28,300 Chelsea's trapped under a bookshelf. 308 00:12:28,367 --> 00:12:30,067 - I thought she only read magazines. 309 00:12:30,133 --> 00:12:31,567 - Her hair's from India, and she'd never cut it. 310 00:12:31,633 --> 00:12:33,567 I have to go and save her. - Well, wait. 311 00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:35,567 Uh, I'll drive you. 312 00:12:35,633 --> 00:12:37,433 [rock music] 313 00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:42,067 [dance music playing] 314 00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:45,067 - [gasps] - You guys came. Yay! 315 00:12:45,133 --> 00:12:47,200 Time to party-party. 316 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,400 [chuckles] - You lied to me? 317 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,533 - Chelsea, we really thought you were in trouble. 318 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,233 - I was, but... 319 00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:56,067 then I got Hulk strength and had to free myself. 320 00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:57,167 Let's hang out. 321 00:12:57,233 --> 00:12:59,433 - What is wrong with you? 322 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,733 - Oh, Mary Louise, that's sweet, but I'm fine. 323 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,733 - That's not what I meant. I'm in a relationship now. 324 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,533 - Oh, I know. 325 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,900 You have made it perfectly clear that he is your priority now. 326 00:13:08,967 --> 00:13:10,367 Meanwhile, I spent the night alone 327 00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:11,967 putting together a Swedish bookshelf 328 00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:13,467 with only pictures to guide me. 329 00:13:13,533 --> 00:13:15,067 They weren't even American! 330 00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:17,067 - I've always supported you, Chelsea. 331 00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:19,133 Who always orders two entrées so you can say, 332 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,500 "I'm not hungry, I'll nibble"? 333 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,767 Who pretended to be a 15-year-old 334 00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:24,767 so you could convince that handsome social worker 335 00:13:24,833 --> 00:13:27,233 that you were a volunteer for the Big Sisters program? 336 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:30,600 Who told everyone that you had an allergy attack 337 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:33,067 when you got the bad Botox in Mexico? 338 00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:36,533 - That wasn't Botox. That was a Mexican facial-paralysis serum. 339 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:40,800 - The one time I needed you to support me, you couldn't. 340 00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:42,667 I'm so disappointed in you. 341 00:13:42,733 --> 00:13:44,167 - [gasps] 342 00:13:44,233 --> 00:13:45,667 Don't say "disappointed." 343 00:13:45,733 --> 00:13:47,833 You know my mom used to say that when I got acne. 344 00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:49,467 Wait. ML, don't go. 345 00:13:49,533 --> 00:13:51,333 Please, just don't leave me alone. 346 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,600 Oh. 347 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,433 [cries] 348 00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:58,067 Oh. [whimpers, gasps] 349 00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:00,633 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! 350 00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:03,733 [grunting] 351 00:14:05,933 --> 00:14:07,733 ML! 352 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:11,300 - It's like we're missing something. 353 00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:12,900 - What could it be? 354 00:14:12,967 --> 00:14:15,067 - [sighs] Let's go back to that first attack. 355 00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:16,400 - The number one number two? 356 00:14:16,467 --> 00:14:18,100 - [chuckles] Right. 357 00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:19,933 That hallway only leads to and from the gym, 358 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:22,267 so the pooper had to be in PE. 359 00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,900 - Who's class was in gym at that time? 360 00:14:24,967 --> 00:14:27,900 [suspenseful music] 361 00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:30,367 * * 362 00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:33,367 both: Watson's. 363 00:14:33,433 --> 00:14:34,600 - Can I go home now? 364 00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:35,867 - No. 365 00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:37,400 We're gonna find something on you. 366 00:14:37,467 --> 00:14:39,333 - But it's dark outside. 367 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,533 - Your mom and dad said we could keep you as long as we want. 368 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,100 They're making a date night out of it. 369 00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,133 - [sighs] 370 00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,067 Come on. 371 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,567 Come on. 372 00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:57,200 Oh, no! 373 00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:58,767 [sighs] 374 00:14:58,833 --> 00:15:01,633 Oh, my God. I'm gonna lie here until I die... 375 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,067 in a T-shirt. 376 00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:04,800 [school bell rings] 377 00:15:04,867 --> 00:15:08,100 [rock music] 378 00:15:08,167 --> 00:15:09,900 [can hissing] 379 00:15:09,967 --> 00:15:11,733 - Did a boy from you class go to the bathroom 380 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,933 during gym yesterday? - I don't know. 381 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:17,267 - When does your class have gym? - Right now. 382 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,067 - What are you doing? 383 00:15:19,067 --> 00:15:20,600 - Exterminating. 384 00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:22,733 Thanks to you, my room is completely infested. 385 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,067 - It's not infested. 386 00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:25,300 They're just living their bug lives. 387 00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:26,533 - Are you insane? 388 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,100 If you care about bugs so much, 389 00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:29,867 take them home to your filthy yurt, 390 00:15:29,933 --> 00:15:31,067 not to our school. 391 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,433 They don't belong here. 392 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,900 - The belong everywhere. 393 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,800 These beautiful creatures are an integral part 394 00:15:36,867 --> 00:15:38,267 of our complex ecosystem. 395 00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:39,833 [animal squeaking] [gasps] 396 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,533 Aah! - [gasps] 397 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,167 - [gasps] 398 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,833 [haunting music] 399 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,367 - Mm. 400 00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:50,300 - Hey, um, have you guys seen our class rat, Milo? 401 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,867 He got out, and I think I saw him run in here. 402 00:15:52,933 --> 00:15:54,933 - Cecilia. 403 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,567 - Nope. Mm-mm. 404 00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:02,067 - That has bones. 405 00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:03,967 Bones. 406 00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:06,967 [mysterious music] 407 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:11,500 * * 408 00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:14,167 - Janine's the poop terrorist. 409 00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:15,700 - But how? 410 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:19,467 Who keeps pooping in the hallway? 411 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,667 It's got to be Bradley G. 412 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:26,867 He and his friends pooped all over the school last year. 413 00:16:26,933 --> 00:16:28,333 [dramatic music] 414 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,067 Security checkpoint, boys. 415 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,233 * * 416 00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:34,500 Is it all over my back? 417 00:16:34,567 --> 00:16:36,933 - Oh, yeah, you're covered in poop. 418 00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:39,233 - [giggles evilly] 419 00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:43,867 - Holy crap. 420 00:16:43,933 --> 00:16:47,067 - Put the turtle back in the shell, Janine! 421 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,167 * * 422 00:16:48,233 --> 00:16:49,967 - Oopsies. 423 00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:51,867 * * 424 00:16:54,233 --> 00:16:55,500 [rock music] 425 00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:57,933 - So, finally, by the seventh call... 426 00:16:58,067 --> 00:16:59,533 - No, come on. - We show up to the place. 427 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,133 - Yeah? [knock at door] 428 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,067 - Chelsea, I don't want to-- 429 00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,433 - I need to say something. 430 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,267 Last night after you both left, 431 00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:09,167 I took some time to be by myself 432 00:17:09,233 --> 00:17:11,900 and to really reflect. 433 00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:14,733 And I realized that I am not comfortable being alone. 434 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,600 And I've probably relied on you too much, Mary Louise. 435 00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:19,900 That is something that I need to work on. 436 00:17:19,967 --> 00:17:21,933 I also wanted to say that you're right. 437 00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:26,567 You've always supported me, and it's my turn to support you. 438 00:17:26,633 --> 00:17:27,933 I am so happy for you guys. 439 00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:30,233 And I promise that I will not bother you 440 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,833 on your dates anymore. 441 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:34,067 I love you, girl. 442 00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:36,600 - I love you, too. 443 00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:38,267 I'd love to have a girls' night soon. 444 00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:39,667 Thursday? 445 00:17:39,733 --> 00:17:41,867 - [gasps] "Pursuing Polygamy" on Lifetime? 446 00:17:41,933 --> 00:17:43,367 - Yes, please. 447 00:17:43,433 --> 00:17:45,633 [both laugh] - I will see you then. 448 00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:48,333 [chuckles] 449 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,700 - Wait. What happened to your back? 450 00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:52,600 - Oh, nothing. 451 00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:54,067 I just had a wild night. 452 00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:57,067 [whimpering] Oh, I just wet myself. 453 00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:58,433 [giggles softly] 454 00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,367 [rock music] 455 00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:03,533 - We are the victims of our own preconceptions. 456 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,333 We turned all of our focus onto the boys, 457 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,767 and as a result 458 00:18:06,833 --> 00:18:08,967 missed the development of this one lone wolf. 459 00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:12,667 - I know. Who knows how many poops we could've stopped, 460 00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:17,167 how much encrusted footwear we could've prevented? 461 00:18:18,567 --> 00:18:20,100 - Why did you do it, Janine? 462 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:23,500 - Because poop is funny. 463 00:18:23,567 --> 00:18:27,700 - She pooped in the school five times. 464 00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:30,667 - Six. [giggling wickedly] 465 00:18:30,733 --> 00:18:33,733 [suspenseful music] 466 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:39,067 [rock music] 467 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:46,133 * * 468 00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:49,700 - * Tear it down * 469 00:18:49,767 --> 00:18:52,533 * Tear it down * 470 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,300 * Tear it down * 471 00:18:55,367 --> 00:18:59,067 * Tear it down * 472 00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:02,200 - Oh, yeah. 32945

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