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1
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,367
- [groaning]
2
00:00:12,633 --> 00:00:16,000
[grunts]
Come on!
3
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,600
[groans]
Okay.
4
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,400
[groaning]
5
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,533
Okay.
[groaning]
6
00:00:23,533 --> 00:00:27,100
Get up my butt!
Get up my butt!
7
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:30,333
[groaning]
8
00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:31,900
What is going on?
9
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:34,700
These are my fat jeans!
10
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:37,700
[Broadway music]
11
00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:44,633
*
12
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,633
- I'm sorry, after you.
13
00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:50,867
- I couldn't possibly.
You were here first.
14
00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,533
- No, please.
I insist.
15
00:00:52,533 --> 00:00:53,633
- Move it!
16
00:00:53,633 --> 00:00:55,800
- My favorite time of day--
lunch!
17
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:57,000
[upbeat Broadway music]
18
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,800
* Lunchtime is the best time
19
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,567
* Coming here is such a treat
20
00:01:02,567 --> 00:01:05,167
* Lunchtime is the best time
21
00:01:05,167 --> 00:01:07,333
* We only have one job
and that's eat *
22
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:09,500
- I agree.
* I always wait in line
23
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:11,200
* I'd never brown bag it *
24
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,933
* Food so good
it should be rated by Zagat *
25
00:01:13,933 --> 00:01:16,533
- * The only time of the day
I'm not pissed off *
26
00:01:16,533 --> 00:01:19,633
* Is when I'm here eating
my beef stroganoff *
27
00:01:19,633 --> 00:01:22,400
- * Food makes you smart
so fill up your plate *
28
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,367
* All the great artists
needed to hydrate *
29
00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:28,300
- * The à la carte menu
totally frees us *
30
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,067
* We can thank one person
for it *
31
00:01:30,067 --> 00:01:31,833
* That's Jesus *
32
00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:33,600
*
33
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,400
all:
* Lunchtime is the best time
34
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,200
* Coming here is such a treat
35
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,633
* Lunchtime is the best time
36
00:01:41,633 --> 00:01:44,933
* We only have one job
and that's eat *
37
00:01:44,933 --> 00:01:47,667
- * Hamburgers and french fries
and some sloppy joes, please *
38
00:01:47,667 --> 00:01:50,567
- * Chicken patties, corndogs,
tacos, and grilled cheese *
39
00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:53,433
- * Pepperoni pizza,
nuggets, and pop *
40
00:01:53,433 --> 00:01:56,333
- * Uncooked cookies
with soft serve on top *
41
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,100
* Good thing I'm in sweatpants
from Old Navy *
42
00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:02,133
* Because mama needs more room
for all the gravy *
43
00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:04,667
* Gravy, gravy
on all the food *
44
00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:07,667
* Gravy, gravy
I'm in the mood *
45
00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:10,200
* Gravy on my chicken,
gravy on my fries *
46
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,333
* Gravy on my burger,
hell, I put gravy on my pies *
47
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,700
all: * Gravy, gravy,
gravy, gravy *
48
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:17,500
* Lunchtime is the best time
49
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:20,367
* Coming here is such a treat
50
00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:22,633
* Lunchtime is the best time
51
00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:25,433
* We only have one job
and that's eat *
52
00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:27,700
- * Lunchtime
is the worst time *
53
00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:31,067
* When trying to
fit into jeans *
54
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,433
* Lunchtime is the worst time
55
00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:36,233
* When you want to look
pre-teen *
56
00:02:36,233 --> 00:02:39,300
* This whole room is filled
with the Devil's fried scent *
57
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:42,067
* Not being able to join
is pure torment *
58
00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:44,767
* Look at them line up
like fat pigs at the slop *
59
00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:47,767
* While I have to summon
all my will to stop *
60
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:52,867
*Lunchtime
is the worst time
61
00:02:52,867 --> 00:02:57,067
* For me
62
00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:58,200
[gasps]
63
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,967
- Oh!
Oh, what the--
64
00:03:01,967 --> 00:03:05,067
Oh, God!
- Chelsea?
65
00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:08,200
Chelsea?
66
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,233
- Ms. Bennigan, hi.
67
00:03:09,233 --> 00:03:10,333
- [whispering]
Hot Dad.
68
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:13,900
Hidey-ho.
What are you doing here?
69
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:16,567
- Well, I'm the parent volunteer
for lunch this week.
70
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:17,933
Gonna be serving hot dogs.
71
00:03:17,933 --> 00:03:20,767
- Yum. I'd love to eat
your hot dog.
72
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,100
- [laughs]
73
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:26,367
Listen, uh,
I want to apologize
74
00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:27,533
for trying to kiss you
75
00:03:27,533 --> 00:03:29,367
when you came over
to babysit Blake.
76
00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:31,200
- When did we kiss?
77
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,633
- Well, we didn't.
You fainted.
78
00:03:32,633 --> 00:03:35,167
I'm sorry.
You're Blake's teacher
79
00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:36,233
and my behavior was
inappropriate.
80
00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:37,567
It won't happen again.
81
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:39,833
- Yes, that's probably
for the best.
82
00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:42,233
We should keep this
a professional relationship,
83
00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:44,167
because...
84
00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:45,667
[Broadway music]
85
00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:49,100
* I am a teacher,
you are a parent *
86
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:51,833
* I don't even know your name *
87
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:55,233
* I'm glad we agree
on what we should be *
88
00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:58,567
* It's nice to feel the same *
89
00:03:58,567 --> 00:04:01,700
- * You are a teacher,
I am a parent *
90
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,967
* A couple that shouldn't be *
91
00:04:04,967 --> 00:04:07,833
* I won't interfere
with your great career *
92
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:11,367
* It's too important, I see *
93
00:04:11,367 --> 00:04:14,467
- * You are a parent,
I am a teacher *
94
00:04:14,467 --> 00:04:17,633
* Without boundaries
we'd be lost *
95
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:20,933
* And as for your kiss, sir,
which I did miss, sir *
96
00:04:20,933 --> 00:04:24,067
* These lines can
never be crossed *
97
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:27,367
- * You are a teacher
and it's apparent *
98
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:30,600
* It's late and I must fly *
99
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,167
* I'm on lunch duty,
some gravy needs spooning *
100
00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:36,333
- * So...
101
00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:38,400
* Do...
102
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,500
* I
103
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,833
[bell dings]
104
00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:48,400
- Morning, everyone.
- Morning.
105
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,133
- Ooh, Deb. Looks like
that chicken fried steak
106
00:04:51,133 --> 00:04:52,700
gave you
a little pimple.
107
00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:58,833
- [gasps]
This is bullshit.
108
00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:01,267
Ugh. I took Accutane
in high school
109
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,900
and it was supposed to get rid
of my acne forever.
110
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:06,267
The side effects from the stuff
makes you a depressed,
111
00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:08,433
negative, suicidal mess.
112
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,433
- Oh, so you're
still taking it?
113
00:05:10,433 --> 00:05:12,700
- What? No.
114
00:05:13,967 --> 00:05:16,933
Stop staring at me.
115
00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:21,667
- Oh!
Everyone, shut up.
116
00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:23,300
I have an announcement
to make.
117
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:25,233
As of today, there will be
a new meal plan
118
00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:27,067
here at Fillmore.
119
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:29,367
Here are the menus.
120
00:05:29,367 --> 00:05:33,133
- Lunch on Tuesday's kale
and a dollop of brown rice?
121
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,633
Dude, this is worse
than P.O.W. food.
122
00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:37,333
- You can't tell us
what to eat.
123
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:39,067
- Actually, she can.
124
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:41,633
As a member of the LSC,
Miss Snap can recommend
125
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:44,400
suspension for any teacher
who doesn't comply.
126
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,400
- Whoa. This sounds
like the beginning
127
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,700
of a dystopian novel.
128
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:50,600
- Get that snack cake
out of my face!
129
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,067
They're not on the menu.
130
00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:54,833
From now on, there will be
no more sugar, sodium,
131
00:05:54,833 --> 00:05:59,300
starch, carbs, fat, or dairy--
for students or teachers.
132
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,233
The only food allowed
on school grounds
133
00:06:01,233 --> 00:06:02,633
is what's on
the new meal plan.
134
00:06:02,633 --> 00:06:04,767
[snaps fingers]
135
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:07,967
Thanks, guys.
136
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:10,100
Take that to the parking lot
and set it on fire.
137
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:13,867
- This is terrible.
138
00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:16,600
- I think a less processed menu
is a great idea.
139
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,300
[funk music]
140
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,800
- * There's a solution
to the revolution *
141
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,800
* An evolution of what we eat
142
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,800
- Ms. Cannon, that's enough.
Peas and rice.
143
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,900
- No one cares
about your farm-to-table BS.
144
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:32,800
I can't fit
into my fat jeans!
145
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,667
Is what these children will
wake up and say to themselves
146
00:06:35,667 --> 00:06:38,633
in the morning if we don't
get them on a healthy diet.
147
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,800
[bluesy rock music]
148
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,500
* At four years old
149
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:47,200
* Mama put me
on my first scale *
150
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,133
* From that day on
151
00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:52,333
* I lived in a food jail
152
00:06:52,333 --> 00:06:54,333
* Every time I go to lunch
153
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:57,167
* I fail my diet regime
154
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,467
* And then I get a FUPA
155
00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:02,133
* And lose my self-esteem
156
00:07:02,133 --> 00:07:05,767
* There's a new lunch lady
in town *
157
00:07:05,767 --> 00:07:08,900
* No snacks, no salt,
no carbs, no sweets *
158
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:12,900
*
159
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:15,667
* If you want to be a winner
160
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:18,067
* You've got to be thinner *
161
00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:21,533
* It's just too easy
to cheat *
162
00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:24,500
*
163
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:25,867
* Every magazine
164
00:07:25,867 --> 00:07:30,067
* Every reality show
165
00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:35,200
* Makes me feel
like a dumpy-assed ho *
166
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,633
* So I push myself
167
00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:39,700
* Burn calories faster
168
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:41,900
* I don't sit nowhere *
169
00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:44,967
* Without my trusty
ThighMaster *
170
00:07:44,967 --> 00:07:48,133
* There's a new lunch lady
in town *
171
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:53,167
* Gonna purge this school
and stand my ground *
172
00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:55,067
Oh, baby.
173
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:57,900
* I've never felt
such vim and vigor *
174
00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,500
* I'm getting smaller *
175
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:03,133
* But my dream's
getting bigger *
176
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:06,167
* 'Cause there's
a new lunch lady *
177
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:10,667
* In town
178
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:12,933
Damn it, Rory!
179
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:17,733
- I haven't been
this depressed
180
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:19,733
since I watched
"The Da Vinci Code."
181
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,700
- Yeah, this new lunch menu
sucks.
182
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,167
- Oh, come on, guys,
it's not that bad.
183
00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,900
There are some great things
about the new meal plan.
184
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:30,267
[funk music]
185
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:33,533
* Don't you want
small farms to thrive? *
186
00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:35,533
* Plant--
- Not now, Cecelia.
187
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,967
What are you
so happy about?
188
00:08:40,967 --> 00:08:43,800
- I snuck in a little
something-something.
189
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,667
- How'd you get that
in here?
190
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,233
- My pants.
191
00:08:48,233 --> 00:08:49,600
- Ohh.
192
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,867
That's why you're
wearing JNCO jeans.
193
00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,400
You got any more?
194
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,767
- Share-sies.
195
00:08:58,267 --> 00:08:59,267
- Oh, hey, Deb.
196
00:08:59,267 --> 00:09:00,533
- Don't look at me!
197
00:09:00,533 --> 00:09:01,767
[bell rings]
198
00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:04,900
- Okay, two days
on the new meal plan.
199
00:09:06,733 --> 00:09:08,500
I've gained a pound?
200
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:11,667
How is that even possible?
201
00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:13,567
What would Gwyneth Paltrow do?
202
00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:15,667
[ominous music]
203
00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:18,667
Today, lunch is liquid.
204
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:25,633
*
205
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,333
- [gasps]
206
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:31,067
No!
207
00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:32,533
*
208
00:09:32,533 --> 00:09:36,267
It's like my senior yearbook
disaster all over again.
209
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:38,933
*
210
00:09:38,933 --> 00:09:41,267
[dramatic music]
211
00:09:41,267 --> 00:09:43,533
[scoffs]
212
00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:45,533
* I thought the days
213
00:09:45,533 --> 00:09:50,233
* Of humiliation
were behind me *
214
00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:52,767
* But now I've got this mountain
on my face *
215
00:09:52,767 --> 00:09:55,300
* To remind me
216
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:58,567
* Of high school shame
and nasty games *
217
00:09:58,567 --> 00:10:01,167
* And vicious insults
218
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:04,367
* Is there anything worse
than having *
219
00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:11,367
* Acne as an adult?
220
00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:13,067
Ah!
221
00:10:13,067 --> 00:10:17,933
* So now I must hide
this hideous seeping welt *
222
00:10:17,933 --> 00:10:20,767
* So that no one
can once again *
223
00:10:20,767 --> 00:10:23,767
* Make me feel the way I felt
224
00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:26,567
* I'll slip through Fillmore *
225
00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:29,333
* Like a phantom, keeping mum
226
00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:33,833
* I just wish this zit would
stop pounding *
227
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:40,367
* Like a drum
228
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,300
- Mrs. Adler?
229
00:10:46,533 --> 00:10:47,867
Can we keep the lights on?
230
00:10:47,867 --> 00:10:50,700
We can't see our quizzes.
231
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,333
- Oh, yeah.
232
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:54,033
Of course.
Sorry.
233
00:10:54,033 --> 00:10:55,700
- What's on your face?
234
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:57,933
- It's half
of a Korean sheet mask.
235
00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:02,667
[dramatic music]
236
00:11:04,267 --> 00:11:06,900
- Chelsea, I think I made
a huge mistake.
237
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,067
- Shh.
Do you smell that?
238
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:10,233
[sniffs]
239
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:11,667
That's not lemon,
pepper, or cayenne.
240
00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,467
- No.
Hot Dad told me
241
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:15,733
that he tried to kiss me
and I freaked out.
242
00:11:15,733 --> 00:11:17,367
- [sniffs]
243
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,300
[sniffs]
244
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,233
There is chocolate
in the general vicinity.
245
00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:25,267
- I told him that I wanted
to keep our relationship
246
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,467
purely professional,
because I thought
247
00:11:27,467 --> 00:11:29,367
that's what he wanted,
but it might not be
248
00:11:29,367 --> 00:11:31,067
what he wanted,
because at one point
249
00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:32,400
he wanted to kiss me,
which is what I wanted.
250
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,067
- [sniffs]
Mary Louise,
251
00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:35,133
I don't have time
to teach you
252
00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:37,067
how to act like a normal
human being.
253
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:39,067
Just tell him
how you really feel.
254
00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,200
[scoffs]
255
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,767
[sniffing]
256
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,500
[sniffs deeply]
257
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:47,200
[dramatic music]
258
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,533
Whoa! [gasps]
259
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,100
I knew it!
260
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:54,433
Someone is hiding food
at this school.
261
00:11:54,433 --> 00:11:57,833
When I find out who did this,
I will hunt them down
262
00:11:57,833 --> 00:12:00,067
and decapitate them,
if I can get a knife
263
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,833
through the fat layers
of their fat necks!
264
00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:03,967
*
265
00:12:03,967 --> 00:12:07,267
[chuckles]
Oh, sorry,
266
00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:10,133
that was the cayenne talking.
267
00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:12,833
I mean, I'll recommend
to the LSC they get suspended.
268
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,133
[dramatic sting]
269
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,900
- [loudly] Thanks for returning
my student's backpack.
270
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,067
[quietly] This is full
of Cool Ranch chips, right?
271
00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:24,833
- And there's more
where that came from.
272
00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:27,300
[dramatic music]
273
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:30,200
- * Feldman's gonna
have her way today *
274
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,867
* Setting up
a junk food buffet *
275
00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:35,933
* Snap can't catch me
but she'll taste the backlash *
276
00:12:35,933 --> 00:12:39,700
* She'll never find
my main candy stash *
277
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:41,333
* Today
278
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:44,133
- * With my waist trainer
tightened today *
279
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:46,500
* My senses are heightened
280
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:49,867
* I know there's junk food
around *
281
00:12:49,867 --> 00:12:53,767
* Whoever did this
is going down *
282
00:12:53,767 --> 00:12:55,433
- * Today
283
00:12:55,433 --> 00:12:59,733
* My fate I will soon seal
284
00:12:59,733 --> 00:13:02,067
* Today I'll tell Hot Dad *
285
00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:06,067
* Just how I feel
286
00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:07,433
- * Gonna figure out
the sitch *
287
00:13:07,433 --> 00:13:08,867
- * Gonna trick
that skinny bitch *
288
00:13:08,867 --> 00:13:12,067
- * Maybe I'll get hitched *
289
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:15,267
all: * Today
290
00:13:15,267 --> 00:13:16,900
*
291
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:19,333
- [gasps]
I found it!
292
00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:20,567
Oh.
293
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,533
Ugh!
294
00:13:24,533 --> 00:13:26,433
Who eats this?
295
00:13:26,433 --> 00:13:27,567
[sighs]
296
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,567
Oh.
297
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:35,667
Ohh.
298
00:13:35,667 --> 00:13:37,800
Mmm, mmm.
299
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,100
[garbled] Oh, my God,
this so good!
300
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,833
Oh, yeah.
301
00:13:45,767 --> 00:13:49,300
Stop eating,
you disgusting pig!
302
00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:51,900
How much do I weigh now, Mommy?
303
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,267
Oh.
304
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:58,067
[moaning]
305
00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:02,200
Oh, this poutine is so good.
306
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,333
No.
You can't do this!
307
00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:07,267
[panting]
308
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,567
[grunts]
309
00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:15,267
Ha!
Burn, you sweets of Satan, burn!
310
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:21,167
[dramatic music]
311
00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:24,633
- Attention, there will be
no lunch today.
312
00:14:24,633 --> 00:14:28,067
I repeat,
lunch is cancelled!
313
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:30,533
That is all.
314
00:14:30,533 --> 00:14:31,800
- What are you doing?
315
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,067
- Studies have shown
316
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:35,200
that eating is an
inappropriate use of time.
317
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,467
- Snap's out of control.
You have to do something!
318
00:14:38,467 --> 00:14:42,333
- Isn't it funny, after all
the trouble you've caused me,
319
00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:45,367
now you need my help.
Hmm.
320
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:48,367
And in the middle
of my spring cleaning.
321
00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:52,367
Well, it doesn't come
for free.
322
00:14:52,367 --> 00:14:55,067
[cabaret music]
323
00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:58,300
- * Ask any of the teachers
at this school *
324
00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:01,667
* They'll all tell you
I can be pretty cool *
325
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:04,800
* But this is not
a one-sided trade *
326
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,933
* Because one day,
Papa might need your aid *
327
00:15:08,933 --> 00:15:11,367
*
328
00:15:11,367 --> 00:15:14,933
* You cause a lot of trouble
329
00:15:14,933 --> 00:15:17,800
* And I've never laid you off *
330
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,200
* But Papa needs your help too
331
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,867
* Sometimes I want to get off
332
00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:26,700
- Excuse me?
333
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:28,367
- Early...from work.
334
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,733
What?
I work a lot of late nights.
335
00:15:32,733 --> 00:15:33,867
*
336
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:36,900
* If I do you a favor
337
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:40,100
* And help you with your plan
338
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:43,400
* I'll want a little reward *
339
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,567
* To make me feel like a man
340
00:15:47,867 --> 00:15:50,467
- Whoa.
What are you suggesting?
341
00:15:50,467 --> 00:15:54,533
- Just, like, a nice bottle
of Sutter Home white zin
342
00:15:54,533 --> 00:15:57,667
or a gift certificate
to WorldMarket.
343
00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:59,200
Something fun.
344
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,700
* This job can be
real stressful *
345
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,567
* And it's hard
to pull through *
346
00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:09,133
* But when you're good to Papa *
347
00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:13,967
* Papa's good *
348
00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:16,733
* To you
349
00:16:16,733 --> 00:16:19,667
- Okay, I'm pretty skeeved out,
so I'm gonna leave.
350
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,333
- Hm.
351
00:16:30,267 --> 00:16:33,933
- Mmm. It's not real,
but at least it's sweet.
352
00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:35,800
- [sobbing]
353
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,533
[ominous music]
354
00:16:37,533 --> 00:16:39,467
- Deb?
355
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,333
Are you okay?
356
00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:46,267
Did you get the veggie smoothie
runs like Mr. Spinnoli?
357
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:48,067
- I can't show my face.
358
00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:50,133
- Deb, is this
about your zit?
359
00:16:50,133 --> 00:16:51,367
Look at how crazy
Chelsea's gotten
360
00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:53,433
because she's worried
about her looks.
361
00:16:53,433 --> 00:16:55,967
- Don't tell me
looks don't matter.
362
00:16:55,967 --> 00:16:58,200
My skin was so bad
my senior year,
363
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,067
everybody called me
Edward James Olmos.
364
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:03,067
[doo-wop music]
365
00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:04,667
- * Appearances don't matter *
366
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:07,467
* Is what you say
to ugly freaks *
367
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:09,700
men: * Ooh
- * Of course they matter
368
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,333
* But there're so many things
you can tweak *
369
00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:14,567
* So trust me, Debbie Do-Dah
men: * Ooh oh
370
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:17,167
- * I have a big bag of tricks
men: * Ooh, ooh, wah
371
00:17:17,167 --> 00:17:19,600
- * For every
unsightly problem *
372
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,967
men: * Ooh, wah
- * There's a simple fix *
373
00:17:22,967 --> 00:17:26,833
* For us women there are
so many tools at the ready *
374
00:17:26,833 --> 00:17:29,467
men: * Ooh, wah, ah, ah
- * Lasers, BOTOX
375
00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:32,067
* Or if it's really big,
a machete *
376
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:34,433
men: * Ooh, wah, ah, oh
- * Extensions, exfoliants
377
00:17:34,433 --> 00:17:36,633
* Tweezers, dye, wax,
peels, and Spanx *
378
00:17:36,633 --> 00:17:38,900
* Men tell you
what you need *
379
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,767
* You don't even
have to say thanks *
380
00:17:41,767 --> 00:17:43,767
men: * Ooh, wah
- * I know right now
381
00:17:43,767 --> 00:17:45,567
* That your skin
is causing anxiety *
382
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:47,333
men: * Ooh, wah, ah, ah
383
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:51,200
- * For that we must thank
patriarchal society *
384
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,433
* So come out
Debbie Do-Dah *
385
00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:56,067
* You can still have
all of your kicks *
386
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:59,900
* For every unsightly problem
387
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:02,467
* There's a simple fix *
388
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:06,600
men: * Woo
389
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,067
- I'm sure it's much better
already.
390
00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:12,367
If not, I've got
some zit cream.
391
00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:14,667
Let's take a look.
392
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:16,733
It's okay.
393
00:18:18,267 --> 00:18:19,800
That's it.
394
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:20,733
[ominous music]
395
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,067
- Back!
Back to the shadows!
396
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:25,500
*
397
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,167
- Hot Platonic Friend.
398
00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:32,533
Hello, there.
[laughs]
399
00:18:32,533 --> 00:18:33,700
- I haven't seen you
all week,
400
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:35,167
but apparently lunch
is cancelled,
401
00:18:35,167 --> 00:18:36,433
so I'm gonna head home.
402
00:18:36,433 --> 00:18:38,933
- Listen, there's...
403
00:18:38,933 --> 00:18:42,067
* Something I want to tell you
but it's not easy to say *
404
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:44,933
* I'm not a forward person,
I would rather run away *
405
00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:48,067
* When I share my feelings,
it makes me very antsy *
406
00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:49,433
* I sweat, I giggle,
I freak out *
407
00:18:49,433 --> 00:18:51,367
* I want to poop my pantsy
408
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,100
* I don't know why I said that *
409
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,567
* I have never pooped my pants
410
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:56,900
* Oh, God,
I can't stop talking *
411
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,867
* Do not think
I've pooped my pants *
412
00:18:58,867 --> 00:19:01,433
* All I want to say is--
413
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,200
- ML? I need you.
414
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,567
I have to cover my body
in lotion
415
00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:06,667
and wrap it in plastic wrap
for 24 hours.
416
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:09,367
I've read it can take
up to an inch off my waist.
417
00:19:09,367 --> 00:19:11,700
- Not...now.
418
00:19:12,867 --> 00:19:15,100
- Oh, my God. You
two make Jane Austen
419
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:17,300
look like a one-night stand.
420
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,467
Okay.
421
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:19,900
[both laugh sheepishly]
422
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,067
- So what was it that
you were gonna tell me?
423
00:19:22,067 --> 00:19:23,300
- Right.
[sighs]
424
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,267
I was just about to get
to the important part.
425
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:27,067
Well, there's...
426
00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:30,500
* Something I want to tell you
but it's not easy to say *
427
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:33,467
* I'm not a forward person,
I would rather run away *
428
00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:35,700
* When I have to share feelings
it makes me very antsy-- *
429
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:37,567
- Mary Louise, if you see Deb,
can you tell her
430
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:40,467
that she's still beautiful...
on the inside?
431
00:19:40,467 --> 00:19:42,367
Thanks.
- What?
432
00:19:42,367 --> 00:19:44,167
- Okay, Mary Louise,
what were you gonna tell me?
433
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:45,267
- Let me start
from the beginning.
434
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,300
- Or you could
just skip ahead.
435
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,067
- Okay.
There's...
436
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:51,067
* Something I want to tell you
but it's not easy to say *
437
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:53,900
* I'm not a forward person,
I would rather run away *
438
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:55,967
- Bennigan,
we've got to do something.
439
00:19:55,967 --> 00:19:57,633
I was down
for healthier food choices,
440
00:19:57,633 --> 00:19:59,333
but now Chelsea's starving
everyone.
441
00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,367
We have to start
a rebellion.
442
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,933
The children are
"Les Misérables."
443
00:20:02,933 --> 00:20:06,700
- We won't stand for this,
not one day more.
444
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,100
I have to go.
445
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:10,867
- Uh, Mary Louise, wait!
What were you gonna tell me?
446
00:20:10,867 --> 00:20:14,133
[grandiose music]
447
00:20:14,133 --> 00:20:16,200
- * Do you hear
our stomachs growl? *
448
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,333
both:
* They refuse to be quiet
449
00:20:18,333 --> 00:20:19,967
all: * They are
full of angry sounds *
450
00:20:19,967 --> 00:20:22,300
* Caused by Chelsea's
stupid diet *
451
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,267
* We are sick
of not being heard *
452
00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:25,933
* We are sick
of Chelsea's plans *
453
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:30,067
* We need to get our treats,
we need to lift the ban *
454
00:20:30,067 --> 00:20:32,200
- Eh.
455
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,833
[sobbing]
456
00:20:36,833 --> 00:20:40,000
[sad music]
457
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,400
- * Am I a bad person
458
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,167
* For wanting to look hot?
459
00:20:46,167 --> 00:20:49,767
* Am I a bad person
460
00:20:49,767 --> 00:20:52,367
No. [scoffs]
That's bullshit.
461
00:20:52,367 --> 00:20:53,667
[tense music]
462
00:20:53,667 --> 00:20:54,867
Stop it!
463
00:20:54,867 --> 00:20:56,500
Why can't we all
sacrifice our bodies
464
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,367
for societal standards?
465
00:20:58,367 --> 00:21:00,633
* I will never surrender
- * Snap, you're going down *
466
00:21:00,633 --> 00:21:02,300
* And all will join me
in this feat *
467
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,633
- * I will never repent
all: * Beyond this
468
00:21:03,633 --> 00:21:04,967
* Hell juice cleanse
469
00:21:04,967 --> 00:21:06,967
* There is more food
we want to eat *
470
00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:08,833
- * If I die, I'll die slender *
all: * This hunger
471
00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:11,100
* Can't be quenched
We'll destroy this awful wench *
472
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:15,167
* For our...
- * When my last breath is...
473
00:21:15,167 --> 00:21:19,200
all: * Sweets
- * Spent
474
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,733
- What is going on in here?
475
00:21:21,733 --> 00:21:25,433
Ms. Snap, we are getting
parent complaints.
476
00:21:25,433 --> 00:21:26,733
Children are starving,
477
00:21:26,733 --> 00:21:28,700
and apparently,
so are the teachers.
478
00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:30,633
Starting now,
lunch is back
479
00:21:30,633 --> 00:21:33,100
and the old lunch plan
is reinstated!
480
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,133
[all cheering]
- Burgers!
481
00:21:34,133 --> 00:21:36,067
- Oh, fries!
- Pizza!
482
00:21:36,067 --> 00:21:37,533
- Victory is ours.
483
00:21:37,533 --> 00:21:40,233
- No.
You can't do this to me!
484
00:21:40,233 --> 00:21:43,900
- Chelsea, there's
a four-year-old inside of you
485
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:48,800
who's been starving
for the last 27 years.
486
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:49,967
[soft music]
487
00:21:49,967 --> 00:21:52,900
- [quavering breaths]
488
00:21:55,067 --> 00:21:56,867
[groans]
489
00:21:56,867 --> 00:21:57,867
Mmm.
490
00:21:57,867 --> 00:21:59,733
[sobs]
491
00:21:59,733 --> 00:22:01,233
[sniffs]
492
00:22:01,233 --> 00:22:02,800
This tastes like love.
493
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,533
- Yeah.
It's a hamburger.
494
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:07,133
all: * Gravy, Gravy,
Gravy, Gravy *
495
00:22:07,133 --> 00:22:08,700
* Gravy, Gravy, Gravy, Gravy
496
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:11,300
* Lunchtime is the best time
- * Ah, ah, ah
497
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:13,967
all:
* Coming here is such a treat
498
00:22:13,967 --> 00:22:16,467
* Lunchtime is once again
the best time *
499
00:22:16,467 --> 00:22:18,633
* We only have one job
500
00:22:18,633 --> 00:22:22,767
* And that's eat *
501
00:22:22,767 --> 00:22:26,767
- Oh! Son of a nut sack!
My good cheek!
502
00:22:30,733 --> 00:22:32,067
- Hey.
503
00:22:32,067 --> 00:22:35,467
I'm done volunteering
for the week.
504
00:22:35,467 --> 00:22:38,367
So headin' out.
505
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,233
- I wanted to be kissed.
506
00:22:43,233 --> 00:22:44,533
[soft music]
507
00:22:44,533 --> 00:22:47,700
That's what I was
trying to say.
508
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:51,967
What you did wasn't
inappropriate at all.
509
00:22:51,967 --> 00:22:55,800
I've always...
510
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,133
liked you.
511
00:22:57,133 --> 00:22:58,133
*
512
00:22:58,133 --> 00:23:00,333
- Hey!
There you are.
513
00:23:00,333 --> 00:23:01,733
- Sharon.
514
00:23:01,733 --> 00:23:03,300
- I've been waiting
in the parking lot.
515
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:05,367
You said you'd drive me
to the good casino in Joliet.
516
00:23:05,367 --> 00:23:06,967
- Who is this?
517
00:23:06,967 --> 00:23:08,633
- Oh. His wife.
518
00:23:08,633 --> 00:23:10,133
And you must be
Ms. Brannigan.
519
00:23:10,133 --> 00:23:12,733
Blake has told me
so much about you.
520
00:23:12,733 --> 00:23:15,167
- It's Bennigan.
521
00:23:15,167 --> 00:23:16,500
- Let's go.
522
00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:18,267
What's going on
with that uniform?
523
00:23:18,267 --> 00:23:19,933
[purrs]
You look like a Nazi.
524
00:23:19,933 --> 00:23:21,067
[laughs]
525
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,167
- Mary Louise,
I figured out
526
00:23:23,167 --> 00:23:24,867
how I can still fit
into a size four.
527
00:23:24,867 --> 00:23:27,067
[chuckles]
Pajama Jeans.
528
00:23:27,067 --> 00:23:28,067
[laughs]
529
00:23:28,067 --> 00:23:29,333
Look at 'em go.
530
00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:30,433
[laughs]
531
00:23:30,433 --> 00:23:32,067
These things are great.
532
00:23:32,067 --> 00:23:33,467
- [sobs quietly]
533
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,200
[rock music]
534
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:46,133
*
535
00:23:47,233 --> 00:23:50,067
- * Tear it down
536
00:23:50,067 --> 00:23:52,700
* Tear it down
537
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:55,467
* Tear it down
538
00:23:55,467 --> 00:23:57,667
* Tear it down
539
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,200
- Oh, yeah.
37008
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