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00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:09,700
[rock music]
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00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:11,633
* *
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00:00:11,633 --> 00:00:14,000
- Oh, Ms. Bennigan, hi.
- [whispers] Hot Dad.
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00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,333
Hidey-ho, neighbor gator!
5
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:18,667
Are you, uh,
volunteering today?
6
00:00:18,667 --> 00:00:20,333
- Uh, no. Actually,
I just had a meeting
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00:00:20,333 --> 00:00:21,800
with Principal Pearson.
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00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,333
It turns out that, uh,
Blake is really struggling
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00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:26,233
in the third grade.
- Oh, no.
10
00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:28,067
- Yeah, he's been having
a hard time
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00:00:28,067 --> 00:00:29,533
ever since his mom left.
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00:00:29,533 --> 00:00:31,700
- Oh. She's still gone?
- Yeah.
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00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:33,333
- Hm.
- Principal Pearson suggested
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00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,133
that Blake repeat
the second grade.
15
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:39,200
- Oh, back to my grade.
Fantastic...
16
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,733
...ly awful.
- Well, actually,
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00:00:40,733 --> 00:00:42,933
I think it'll be good
for him in the long run.
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00:00:42,933 --> 00:00:44,600
As a single dad,
I really appreciate
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00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,833
the school's support.
- Well, I'm happy to have you
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00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:49,167
back in my life--
uh, grade.
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00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:52,500
[laughs] I mean Blake
back in my life--oh!
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00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,333
My grade, too.
Both for my grade.
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00:00:54,333 --> 00:00:55,467
- I am so sorry.
- Okay.
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00:00:55,467 --> 00:00:56,833
- I'm running late for my
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00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:58,033
volunteer firefighter duty.
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00:00:58,033 --> 00:01:00,933
- [chuckles]
27
00:01:00,933 --> 00:01:02,200
[whispering]
Hot Fire Dad.
28
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,100
- Stupid-ass coffee maker.
29
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:05,667
How is this thing not fixed?
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00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:07,567
- Why don't you just try tea?
- Because I'm not
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00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,767
a seven-year-old having
a party with my dolls.
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00:01:09,767 --> 00:01:11,067
[dog barking]
- Ryan!
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00:01:11,067 --> 00:01:12,800
- Oh, my God!
- Stop! [gasps]
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00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,100
Ryan, no!
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00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,433
Okay.
- Oh, my God.
36
00:01:15,433 --> 00:01:16,733
- No!
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00:01:16,733 --> 00:01:19,467
Everyone...[chuckles]
Meet Ryan Gosling.
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00:01:19,467 --> 00:01:20,533
- When did you get a dog?
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00:01:20,533 --> 00:01:22,200
- I got him a couple weeks ago.
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00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,067
I love him.
When I'm with him,
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00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:25,567
he creates the illusion
I'm a size two.
42
00:01:25,567 --> 00:01:27,500
- Chelsea, you can't bring
a dog to school.
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00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,667
- I have to. He destroys
my apartment when I'm gone,
44
00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:32,300
and I can't afford
doggie day care right now.
45
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,667
Brad Renfro signed
my lower back last weekend
46
00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:37,667
and I'm saving up to have
his autograph tattooed.
47
00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:41,267
- Brad Renfro
died eight years ago.
48
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,600
- Oh, my God.
49
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,167
Then who signed my lower back?
50
00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:46,233
- I've got great news!
Hot Dad just told me
51
00:01:46,233 --> 00:01:48,367
Blake needs to repeat
the second grade!
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00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:50,067
He's gonna be back
in my class.
53
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:52,733
- How do you know he's not gonna
be put in Caroline's?
54
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:56,500
- Phooey. I never even thought
of that possibility.
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00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:59,333
How will I ever find out
if Blake's back in my class?
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00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,367
- Uh, you could just ask Blake.
57
00:02:01,367 --> 00:02:03,467
- Wow, Deb.
You're just like Nancy Drew.
58
00:02:03,467 --> 00:02:05,600
But without the close-knit
group of friends.
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00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,700
- Okay, I swear
my vag doesn't smell.
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00:02:08,700 --> 00:02:11,400
Fine, it does.
Now get this dog away from me!
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00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,967
[rock music]
62
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:15,467
- * Tear it down
63
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:17,067
* Tear it down
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00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:21,633
- So if we used 1,000 M&M'S
to make Andre the Giant
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00:02:21,633 --> 00:02:23,467
and one quarter of them
were green,
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00:02:23,467 --> 00:02:25,967
how many green
M&M'S did we use?
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00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:29,200
- How could we know that?
You ate so many of them.
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00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,267
- Dang, Trey,
that was harsh.
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00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:33,600
But also, an excellent point.
Very good.
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00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,167
- Feldman, can I talk to you
for a minute?
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00:02:36,167 --> 00:02:37,833
- You got it.
What's up?
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00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:40,200
- I got a call from a parent
saying that you're not
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00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,200
teaching the
Common Core curriculum.
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00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,333
- Oh, yeah, I don't teach that
'cause it sucks.
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00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,633
- It's federally mandated.
- Listen, Toby--
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00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:49,133
- It's Principal Pearson.
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00:02:49,133 --> 00:02:51,233
- Okay, if you're into
that sort of thing.
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00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:54,467
I tailor my lesson plans
to teach my kids
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00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:57,133
in ways that are best
for their learning styles.
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00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,800
- You don't have a choice.
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00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,167
Start teaching Common Core
immediately.
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00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:04,567
*
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00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:07,367
- Today we are gonna be reading
"The Boxcar Children."
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00:03:07,367 --> 00:03:09,067
I think you guys
are gonna like it.
85
00:03:09,067 --> 00:03:10,767
It's kind of like
Mrs. Adler's trailer
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00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:12,367
but less sad.
[dog growling]
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00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:14,533
- Uh, Ms. Snap?
[dog barks]
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00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:16,500
- [gasps] Ryan Gosling!
89
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,067
Okay, Ryan...
- What the--
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00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:20,233
- Come on, now.
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00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,233
- Is that a dog?
- Ryan--yes.
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00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:23,600
It's a dog, obviously.
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00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,300
- Dogs are not allowed
in school.
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00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:27,200
Get him out of here
right now.
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00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,500
- I can't.
- Why not?
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00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,367
- He's an
emotional support dog.
97
00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:32,967
- If this is a therapy dog,
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00:03:32,967 --> 00:03:35,333
I need to see a written note
from a licensed therapist.
99
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:37,933
- Fine, no problem.
[gasps]
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00:03:37,933 --> 00:03:39,467
- Ooh! No!
101
00:03:39,467 --> 00:03:42,100
- Huh. He usually only
does that to women.
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00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:46,233
*
103
00:03:46,233 --> 00:03:47,867
- Hey there, Blake-a-roni!
104
00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:49,633
What's scooting? What's shaking?
What's the--
105
00:03:49,633 --> 00:03:50,867
- Hey, kid,
whose class are you
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00:03:50,867 --> 00:03:52,900
gonna be in when you
get held back?
107
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,233
- I'm being held back?
108
00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:58,533
- Never mind.
As you were.
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00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,100
- [sighs]
- Oh, relax.
110
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:05,300
We'll just hack
into Pearson's computer.
111
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,767
I need to get in there anyway.
112
00:04:06,767 --> 00:04:08,500
I sent him an email about
the broken coffee maker
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00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:11,833
that may have included
a .jpeg of my butthole.
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00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:14,500
- Deb, again?
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00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,267
- Same picture,
different filter.
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00:04:16,267 --> 00:04:19,733
- Let's go over this
math problem one more time.
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00:04:19,733 --> 00:04:23,200
"José wants to give bags
of lollipops to his friends.
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00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,600
"He wants to give
the same number
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00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,900
"of lollipops to each friend.
120
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,567
"He's not sure if he needs
four or six bags of lollipops.
121
00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:32,400
"How many lollipops
could he buy
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00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,733
so there are no
lollipops leftover?"
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00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,733
- How many lollipops
are in a bag?
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00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:38,733
- How many friends
does he have?
125
00:04:38,733 --> 00:04:41,067
- Why is it four or six bags?
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00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:43,733
- Uhh...
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00:04:43,733 --> 00:04:46,167
I don't know.
[bell rings]
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00:04:46,167 --> 00:04:48,367
Sorry we're still on
the first problem, guys.
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00:04:48,367 --> 00:04:51,333
I'll keep working on this
while you're at recess. Okay?
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00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,467
We'll figure it out, I swear!
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00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:57,733
- Need some help?
- Thanks, dawg,
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00:04:57,733 --> 00:05:00,267
but this is supposed to be
for third graders.
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00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:03,467
I gotta figure out this
Common Core stuff on my own.
134
00:05:03,467 --> 00:05:06,100
- Okay.
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00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:10,300
- Friends. Lollipops.
136
00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,067
José...
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00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:15,400
*
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00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,067
- Hey, June.
- Oh, hi!
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00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,733
- I need to keep my dog
at school.
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00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:20,333
So can you do me a favor
and write one of your
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00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:22,700
little notes or whatever it is
you therapists do
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00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:24,733
and say that I need
an emotional support animal?
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00:05:24,733 --> 00:05:27,633
- Chelsea, I'm so glad
to see you're taking
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00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:29,967
the steps to improve
your mental health.
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00:05:29,967 --> 00:05:31,800
- [laughs] Oh, no.
This has nothing to do
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00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,933
with my mental health.
I'm clearly fine.
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00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:35,633
I'm just trying
to work the system.
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00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:37,500
- Oh, so why did you decide
to get a dog?
149
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:38,933
- The same reason
anyone gets one.
150
00:05:38,933 --> 00:05:40,567
To have someone
who's excited to see me
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00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:42,633
when I get home, share
inside jokes with,
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00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,333
and hold me when I'm sad.
153
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:45,833
- I really do think
you need one.
154
00:05:45,833 --> 00:05:49,700
So I'm gonna
write you that note.
155
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,700
Here you go, sweetheart.
- I don't want that.
156
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,367
- But I thought that's why
you came in here.
157
00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:56,067
- I did, but I don't want it
for a real reason.
158
00:05:56,067 --> 00:05:57,867
- Well, I really do think
that this dog would be
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00:05:57,867 --> 00:05:59,900
a great psychological
benefit to you.
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00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:02,067
- You clearly don't know
what you're talking about.
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00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:03,900
I have to get back
to my class right now,
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00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:06,133
but I will gladly come back here
later and explain to you
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00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,267
why I don't actually need
a therapy dog.
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00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:09,967
- So you wanna make an
appointment for later today?
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00:06:09,967 --> 00:06:11,967
- No, June. This isn't
an official thing.
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00:06:11,967 --> 00:06:14,167
I'm just going to come back
and tell you why you're wrong
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00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:15,800
and your profession is wack.
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00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,200
Come on, Ryan Gosling.
169
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,433
- Does 12:30 work?
- Okay, that's great.
170
00:06:20,433 --> 00:06:23,433
[suspenseful music]
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00:06:23,433 --> 00:06:29,867
*
172
00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:32,200
- What are you doing?
173
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,533
- Wiping off fingerprints.
174
00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:34,700
- Mary Louise,
you don't wipe off
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00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,067
other people's fingerprints.
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00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:38,200
You wipe off ours
when we're done.
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00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,533
It's password protected.
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00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,300
[keys clacking, beep]
179
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:44,100
Got it.
- Ah! How'd you do that?
180
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:46,067
- He's got
a "Friends" screensaver.
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00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:48,167
His password's obviously
"Ross and Rachel."
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00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:50,100
- Finally I'll know the fate
of the rest of my year
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00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:51,833
and what's in store
for me with Hot Dad--
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00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:54,500
- Blake's been assigned
to Caroline's class.
185
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,200
- Wait, what?
- Hang on.
186
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,500
I need to delete my email.
187
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,700
- Why would he be
in Caroline's class?
188
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:01,200
He's supposed to be
in my class!
189
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,067
- Oh, dude! There's an email
from Hot Dad here.
190
00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:04,767
- What does it say?
- Oh, "Thanks again
191
00:07:04,767 --> 00:07:06,367
"for having me in this morning.
192
00:07:06,367 --> 00:07:09,267
"I've decided that
I would like for Blake
193
00:07:09,267 --> 00:07:12,700
to be placed in
Ms. Watson's class."
194
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:16,233
- He requested Ms. Watson?
195
00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:23,133
- * Tear it down
196
00:07:23,133 --> 00:07:24,600
* Tear it down
197
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,900
- I can't believe Hot Dad
requested Ms. Watson.
198
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:30,600
- Son of a bitch.
You got a school full of junkies
199
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,733
and the only crack pipe
is broken.
200
00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:35,967
- I mean, why would he do that,
unless he...
201
00:07:35,967 --> 00:07:37,767
thinks I'm a bad teacher.
202
00:07:37,767 --> 00:07:39,900
- That's not it.
I mean, yes,
203
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:41,600
you hung up a bunch
of crucifixes and claimed
204
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,933
they were the letter "T,"
but you're a great teacher.
205
00:07:44,933 --> 00:07:46,900
- Then why didn't Hot Dad
request me?
206
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,733
- The science fair
isn't later into the year,
207
00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:50,767
but the kids are already
working on it.
208
00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:55,067
[intense music]
209
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,600
- [gasps]
210
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,767
Caroline's with Hot Dad.
211
00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:01,667
- The students are currently
working on dioramas.
212
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:04,133
And over here
is our reading nook.
213
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:05,833
- Oh, well, he's not
that into reading.
214
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,267
- Oh.
- But he does love
215
00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:09,233
the "Goosebumps" books.
- Oh, that's every boy.
216
00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:10,467
[both laugh]
217
00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:14,767
- [laughs mockingly]
What's so funny?
218
00:08:14,767 --> 00:08:18,133
- [laughs]
[romantic music]
219
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:21,300
*
220
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,633
- I feel like I failed him
or something.
221
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:24,867
- It's not your fault.
222
00:08:24,867 --> 00:08:28,067
[romantic music]
223
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:31,933
*
224
00:08:31,933 --> 00:08:34,067
Oh...
225
00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,700
[moaning]
226
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:38,267
Oh, you--
you got a little eyelash.
227
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:41,267
[romantic music]
228
00:08:41,267 --> 00:08:48,200
*
229
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:58,100
*
230
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,667
- That's third base!
231
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:02,933
*
232
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:06,067
Caroline's seducing Hot Dad!
233
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,700
- So, as you can see,
I don't have
234
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,300
a problem connecting
with men.
235
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:12,233
I connect with a lot of men.
A lot.
236
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:14,400
- And how long has this pattern
been going on with men?
237
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,267
- [laughs]
Oh, it's not a pattern.
238
00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:18,433
I haven't always been this way.
- What do you mean?
239
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,667
- Well, in junior high,
nobody would touch me.
240
00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:23,400
I had long, frizzy hair
and a full-blown mustache.
241
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,900
Everyone called me Weird Al.
242
00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:26,833
One time,
I asked out Mac Brady,
243
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,567
who was the most popular guy
in school.
244
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:31,567
And him and the entire
soccer team just laughed...
245
00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:34,267
[voice breaks] And then started
to sing this song.
246
00:09:34,267 --> 00:09:37,800
* You're fat, you're fat,
you know it *
247
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,300
- Okay.
- [crying]
248
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:42,067
- The wound is still
pretty fresh.
249
00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,700
- Oh! I am leaving!
- Okay...
250
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,733
- You are an idiot, June!
- It's understandable
251
00:09:45,733 --> 00:09:48,433
that you need to lash out.
- I'm not lashing out, June!
252
00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:50,867
I just think you're an idiot!
- Okay.
253
00:09:50,867 --> 00:09:52,300
- Come on, Ryan Gosling!
254
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,933
[growling]
255
00:09:53,933 --> 00:09:55,800
I will be back later
to convince you
256
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,500
that there is
nothing wrong with me.
257
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,233
And that is not
an appointment, June!
258
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,033
- All right,
I'll pencil you in for 3:30.
259
00:10:02,033 --> 00:10:03,867
- I can make that.
That's fine.
260
00:10:03,867 --> 00:10:08,933
*
261
00:10:08,933 --> 00:10:11,633
- Hot Dad and Caroline
are having a torrid affair!
262
00:10:11,633 --> 00:10:14,933
She's a harlot
with a headband.
263
00:10:14,933 --> 00:10:16,467
What are you doing?
264
00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:18,867
- I talked to Principal Pearson,
and he said that as long as
265
00:10:18,867 --> 00:10:20,200
the coffee maker
can be repaired,
266
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,667
he won't get us a new one.
267
00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:26,367
So now he's gotta
get a new one.
268
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:28,600
You don't have to worry
about Caroline.
269
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,033
Hot Dad doesn't even
own a boat.
270
00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:32,400
- I know she's after him.
271
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,600
She's going down.
272
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,600
[suspenseful music]
273
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:45,733
*
274
00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:12,100
*
275
00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:27,833
- Friends, lollipops...
[rambling incoherently]
276
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,767
[muttering]
277
00:11:32,767 --> 00:11:34,267
Not enough!
278
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:36,067
You can't figure it out
if you don't know
279
00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:39,067
how many lollipops
are in a bag!
280
00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,800
- Ms. Feldman?
281
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,100
Should we go to gym now?
282
00:11:46,067 --> 00:11:48,500
Everyone,
let's line up for gym.
283
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:53,267
- [mumbling]
- Feldman?
284
00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:56,067
Ready for some help?
- Yeah.
285
00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,633
- * Mr. Beetle Boo,
how do you do... *
286
00:11:58,633 --> 00:12:01,833
[suspenseful music]
287
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:12,867
[whispers]
Somebody was in here.
288
00:12:22,233 --> 00:12:23,700
[gasps]
289
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:25,133
Oh, my God.
290
00:12:25,133 --> 00:12:26,733
The pencils are the pens.
291
00:12:26,733 --> 00:12:28,533
[gasping]
292
00:12:31,767 --> 00:12:33,233
No!
293
00:12:35,467 --> 00:12:37,333
This is supposed to be
in the "B" section
294
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:41,633
and then subfiled with
all the other chartreuse books.
295
00:12:41,633 --> 00:12:45,333
What is going on here?
296
00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:47,400
Okay.
297
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:52,200
Just calm down and put on
your afternoon cardigan.
298
00:12:54,967 --> 00:12:58,500
*
299
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:01,067
[screams]
300
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,767
- Well, I never really
knew my father.
301
00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:05,600
He left when I was a baby
because I was a shrill crier.
302
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,667
- Interesting.
- Fine.
303
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:10,200
If you are so smart, June,
why don't you just go ahead
304
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,600
and tell me
what is wrong with me?
305
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,800
- Okay, I think
the reason you got a dog
306
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,333
is because your dad left you.
- You think I got the dog
307
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:18,700
in place of my dad?
[laughs]
308
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,067
How dumb are you?
309
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,433
I don't even need a dad.
310
00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:24,633
And that dog is not my dad.
He's my dog.
311
00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:25,800
[grunts]
312
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,400
Come on, Dad!
313
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,400
And the only reason that
I just called him my dad
314
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,267
is because we were
talking about dads,
315
00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:34,100
not because I think my dog
is my dad.
316
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:35,567
- Chelsea, if you'd let me
finish, I just think
317
00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:37,267
there's a real connection
between your father
318
00:13:37,267 --> 00:13:39,433
and your history with men.
- I reject that.
319
00:13:39,433 --> 00:13:42,067
I reject you. I reject
this entire conversation.
320
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:44,867
I reject that dog. I don't need
him, and I don't need therapy!
321
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:48,167
I can still fit into my niece's
clothes, and she's 11!
322
00:13:48,167 --> 00:13:50,233
- Chelsea, please.
323
00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:52,100
Ryan.
324
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,900
[spooky music]
325
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:59,433
- Oh, hello, Caroline.
326
00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:03,367
Having a bad day?
I heard about your sweater.
327
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:05,967
- I know.
Isn't it terrible?
328
00:14:05,967 --> 00:14:08,867
I scream-cried in my room
for an hour,
329
00:14:08,867 --> 00:14:10,367
but there's a silver lining.
330
00:14:10,367 --> 00:14:12,233
I went to the button store
on my free period
331
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:14,433
and I found these
really cute buttons!
332
00:14:14,433 --> 00:14:18,200
Look!
They're tiny pineapples.
333
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,100
- I would've gone
with an American fruit.
334
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:22,433
- [laughs]
- What are you laughing about?
335
00:14:22,433 --> 00:14:25,067
- Oh, nothing. I'm just
making plans for tonight.
336
00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:27,533
- With who?
337
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,767
- What?
- Huh?
338
00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:31,067
- Uh, nobody.
339
00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:33,200
I don't have plans
with anyone tonight.
340
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,500
I don't know why
I said that I did.
341
00:14:37,467 --> 00:14:40,133
I gotta go.
342
00:14:40,133 --> 00:14:43,800
[intense music]
343
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,600
- I hate pineapples.
344
00:14:49,067 --> 00:14:51,700
- * Tear it down
345
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:54,433
* Tear it down
346
00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:57,933
[suspenseful music]
347
00:14:57,933 --> 00:15:05,133
*
348
00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:14,767
[engine starts,
tires screech]
349
00:15:18,267 --> 00:15:20,067
- Then carry the one...
- Yes!
350
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,867
- Add this to that.
- Exactly.
351
00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:24,167
- Oh-ho-ho!
Six!
352
00:15:24,167 --> 00:15:26,167
I can't believe it!
We solved it!
353
00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:28,967
The answer was six!
- Yes! Yeah!
354
00:15:28,967 --> 00:15:30,700
You did it!
Oh!
355
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:32,600
- Oh, no. We did it.
356
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,467
- Peas and rice!
What happened here?
357
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:38,467
- I just solved my first
Common Core problem!
358
00:15:38,467 --> 00:15:40,767
- Wow. Good for you.
I guess.
359
00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:43,467
- I couldn't have done it
without Ms. Cannon's help.
360
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:45,067
- How could
Ms. Cannon help you?
361
00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:46,667
She's been
at an art conference
362
00:15:46,667 --> 00:15:50,067
in Sheboygan, Wisconsin,
all day.
363
00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:52,533
She left after first period.
364
00:15:54,467 --> 00:15:57,533
- She was...just right here.
365
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,400
In my beautiful mind.
366
00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:05,467
- Chelsea,
where's your horse dog?
367
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:06,733
- I got rid of him.
- Why?
368
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,367
I thought you loved that thing.
369
00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,333
- No.
- Yeah, you told me
370
00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:12,067
when you watch
"Intervention" and laugh,
371
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,400
he never judges you.
372
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,233
- What a stupid thing to say.
I never said that.
373
00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:16,767
- Yeah, you did.
And you said
374
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,333
he made you feel safe
and loved and--
375
00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:21,200
- Okay, fine!
376
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,700
I do love Ryan Gosling.
377
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:24,533
And the only reason
I don't let men get close to me
378
00:16:24,533 --> 00:16:26,533
is because my dad left.
379
00:16:26,533 --> 00:16:28,467
And then I was rejected
in junior high.
380
00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:30,100
And now I reject men
so they can't hurt me.
381
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:32,167
And that's why I got the dog,
because it represents
382
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:35,233
what I really want in life,
which is a stable relationship.
383
00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:36,800
And then I got rid of the dog
to prove that
384
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,567
all of that wasn't true!
[cries]
385
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,600
Oh, my God.
386
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,300
I don't even need therapy.
387
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:50,933
[chuckles]
I just fixed myself.
388
00:16:50,933 --> 00:16:53,600
[hopeful music]
389
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,767
I have to go get Ryan Gosling!
[laughs]
390
00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:01,767
Oh, and I will
take that note, June.
391
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:03,900
- Oh, okay.
392
00:17:08,267 --> 00:17:11,300
- "Enchanted Princesses
on Ice"?
393
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:14,167
How elegant!
394
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:17,300
[thrilling music]
395
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:20,100
Get out of my way!
396
00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:22,400
Caroline.
397
00:17:26,733 --> 00:17:31,433
*
398
00:17:31,433 --> 00:17:32,733
Thought you could
get away with it,
399
00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,600
didn't you,
you crafternoon minx?
400
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,333
- Mary Louise,
what are you doing here?
401
00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:38,467
Did you follow me?
- Obviously.
402
00:17:38,467 --> 00:17:40,333
You stole Blake from me
so you could get closer
403
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,900
to Hot Dad, you harpy.
- What?
404
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,933
You don't know what
you're talking about.
405
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,833
Just get out of here.
- Blake's supposed
406
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,233
to be in my class.
407
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,300
This is the rest of my life
you're messing with!
408
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:52,800
- Ms. Bennigan,
I suggest you lower your voice.
409
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:56,667
They're starting the overture.
410
00:17:56,667 --> 00:18:01,100
- Wait, you're here with him?
411
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:04,067
- Yes.
- I'm so sorry.
412
00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:07,500
I didn't realize you two were--
you know--
413
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:11,967
- We're just friends!
414
00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:13,433
[quietly] So...
415
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,900
I'm sorry.
- No, that's--I get it.
416
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:18,433
- Didn't mean so emphatic--
- No, no, no, no.
417
00:18:18,433 --> 00:18:20,200
- You know, we just--
- I get it.
418
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,600
[doorbell rings]
419
00:18:24,133 --> 00:18:25,633
[heartfelt piano music]
420
00:18:25,633 --> 00:18:28,833
- Ms. Bennigan.
- I wanted to apologize.
421
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:32,067
I've failed you and Blake.
422
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:36,233
I understand now why
you requested Ms. Watson.
423
00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:39,533
Maybe I got distracted by--
424
00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:43,767
I'm a bad teacher.
425
00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:47,300
And I'm sorry.
- Wait.
426
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,967
That's not it at all.
427
00:18:48,967 --> 00:18:52,500
You're a great teacher.
Blake is just terrible at math.
428
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:55,833
- Oh.
- Actually, I requested
429
00:18:55,833 --> 00:19:00,300
Ms. Watson because
I felt like you and I were--
430
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:03,300
that our friendship
was progressing.
431
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,833
- Really?
- I didn't think
432
00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:07,900
it'd be appropriate
if Blake was in your class.
433
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,867
- [sighs]
434
00:19:09,867 --> 00:19:14,800
In that case, I'm glad
he's not in my class.
435
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:15,900
- Me too.
436
00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:21,500
Was it raining earlier?
- No.
437
00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:25,133
[rock music]
438
00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:27,300
- * Tear it down
439
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,600
* Tear it down
440
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,533
- You wanted to see me?
441
00:19:32,533 --> 00:19:34,700
Ooh!
Bought a new coffee maker?
442
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:37,833
- It's a Keurig.
Apparently the last coffee maker
443
00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:40,933
was smashed into little pieces
and urinated on.
444
00:19:40,933 --> 00:19:43,067
Have a seat.
- So how was
445
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:45,800
the show last night?
- Magical.
446
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,967
When Pocahontas
did a triple axel after
447
00:19:47,967 --> 00:19:51,300
she met John Smith, I almost...
448
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:54,133
That's not what I'm here
to talk to you about.
449
00:19:54,133 --> 00:19:56,467
I'm putting Blake
back in your class.
450
00:19:56,467 --> 00:19:57,967
- Oh, no.
That's not necessary.
451
00:19:57,967 --> 00:20:00,700
- Ms. Bennigan,
I overheard you last night.
452
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,467
And it's very clear
how passionate you are
453
00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:05,267
about teaching him.
- No, please!
454
00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:08,100
- I think it's the best thing
for Blake,
455
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:10,967
considering the situation
with his mother.
456
00:20:10,967 --> 00:20:14,833
And I'm sure you agree.
- I do.
457
00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:17,167
I do.
[dog barking]
458
00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:18,733
- Ryan Gosling!
459
00:20:18,733 --> 00:20:21,133
- Oh, God!
- No.
460
00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:23,833
- I want this dog
out of this school right now!
461
00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:25,167
- Lucky for you,
I am sick of him,
462
00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:27,267
so I will be taking him
to doggy day care.
463
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:28,600
And besides, legally,
464
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,133
you can't ask me to do that.
465
00:20:30,133 --> 00:20:32,467
He's a service dog.
[dog growls, barks]
466
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:38,333
[rock music]
467
00:20:38,333 --> 00:20:45,267
*
468
00:20:46,367 --> 00:20:49,200
- * Tear it down
469
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,833
* Tear it down
470
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,600
* Tear it down
471
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,800
* Tear it down
472
00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:00,333
- Oh, yeah.
33824
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