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1
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,748
TED:
You know how Aunt Robin's
a big fan of Halloween,
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00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,445
always dressing up
in crazy costumes?
3
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,417
Well, she wasn't always
that way.
4
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:25,225
Back in 2005, she thought
she was too cool for Halloween,
5
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:27,029
unlike Aunt Lily.
6
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,401
Guess what came
in the mail today?
7
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,960
Our costumes?
Do they rule?
8
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,098
They rule.
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00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,273
And yours is 100% wool,
10
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:35,001
so you won't
get hypothermia
11
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,595
like last year.
12
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,907
Tarzan nipples blue.
13
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,480
You know what I love
about Halloween?
14
00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,009
It's the one night
of the year
15
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,883
chicks use to unleash
their inner ho-bag.
16
00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:46,913
If a girl dresses
up as a witch,
17
00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:48,517
she's a slutty witch.
18
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,649
If she's a cat,
she's a slutty cat.
19
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:52,645
If she's a nurse...
20
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:53,786
Wow, we get it.
21
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,662
...she's a slutty nurse.
22
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,258
Robin, what are you doing
for Halloween?
23
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,393
Oh, I don't know.
24
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,458
Probably hanging
out with Mike,
25
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,095
this guy I've
been seeing.
26
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,101
Mike? There's a Mike?
27
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,343
You have a boyfriend
and you haven't told us?
28
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:08,598
No, I mean, he's
not my boyfriend.
29
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:10,136
He's just this guy
I've been seeing
30
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,371
for a couple of weeks.
31
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,735
( sing-songy ):
Boyfriend!
32
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,213
So why haven't we met him?
33
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,912
We're not really ready
to go public yet.
34
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:19,084
( sing-songy ):
Married.
35
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,753
How about we go on a
Halloween double date?
36
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:22,852
I don't know.
37
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:25,393
We were kind of thinking
about staying at home
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00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,159
and dressing up
as naked people.
39
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,658
Come on, Robin, trot
out your new fella.
40
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,930
Let us judge and evaluate
him behind your back.
41
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:32,859
It'll be fun.
42
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,932
Hey, Ted, you'll never guess
what happened.
43
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:36,763
Your costumes came?
44
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,197
Our cost... Yes.
45
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,502
That is why
we're best friends.
46
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,003
Hey, Ted, what are you
doing for Halloween?
47
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:42,835
Well...
48
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,100
( groaning )
What?
49
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,908
Every Halloween, Ted waits
50
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,279
for the Slutty Pumpkin.
51
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:48,078
That's right.
52
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,578
What's the "Slutty Pumpkin"?
53
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,450
You mean, "Who is
the Slutty Pumpkin?"
54
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,649
It was four years ago...
55
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:56,051
I was at this Halloween party
up on the roof of our building.
56
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,423
I'm about to call it
an early night
57
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,491
when out of nowhere
appeared this girl
58
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,060
in the sexiest pumpkin costume.
59
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:05,660
Wait, how can a pumpkin
costume be sexy?
60
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,763
It was carved
in strategic places.
61
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,126
So, uh, we're at the bar,
62
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,734
and I see her mix Kahlua...
63
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,095
Kahlua and root beer.
64
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,103
A cocktail
she invented herself.
65
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:15,865
And she called it...
66
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:17,143
"The Tootsie Roll..."
67
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,171
ALL:
Because it tastes
68
00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,966
like an alcoholic Tootsie Roll.
Hey!
69
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,437
Can I please tell the story?
70
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,035
So we had
this instant connection.
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00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,406
She gave me her number,
but then...
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00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,546
ALL:
Something went terribly wrong.
73
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,351
Guys!
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00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,053
Then something went
terribly wrong.
75
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,854
Happy Halloween.
76
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,487
Sonny, where's Cher?
77
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:40,234
Cher?
Right here, babe.
78
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,331
I just met
the perfect woman.
79
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:45,173
She's funny.
She's beautiful.
80
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,399
She loves Star Wars.
81
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,104
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's her take on Ewoks?
82
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:48,965
Loves 'em.
83
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,042
Oh, good.
84
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,940
I don't know why people
are so cynical about Ewoks.
85
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,482
The rebellion would have failed
without the Ewoks.
86
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,938
And get this:
She's a marine biologist.
87
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,146
She spent a year in Antarctica
studying penguins.
88
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,178
Oh, penguins are cool.
89
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,813
Kind of like
black-and-white Ewoks.
90
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:01,778
I approve.
91
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,016
Hey, where's my,
uh, Kit-Kat?
92
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,751
I put it right here
on this table.
I don't know,
93
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:08,056
but we've plenty
of chocolate here.
94
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,088
No, no, you don't understand.
95
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,462
I need that Kit-Kat;
she wrote her number
96
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:11,831
on that wrapper. Where is it?
97
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,259
Uh-oh.
98
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:16,502
Hey, Dracula!
99
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,930
Come on, give me the...
Give me it!
100
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,035
Where's the Kit-Kat?
101
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,540
Where's the Kit-Kat?!
102
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:28,483
Never found her number,
never saw her again.
103
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:29,509
But every year,
they have
104
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,913
a Halloween party
up on the roof,
105
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,254
so that's where I'll be.
106
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,080
You know, Ted,
it's been four years.
107
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,454
She could be engaged
or married,
108
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:39,754
or, God forbid, fat.
109
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,257
I don't know.
110
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,519
I got a feeling.
This could be the year.
111
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,827
Halloween is a night
of wonder and magic.
112
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,029
( all groan )
113
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,060
All right, bring
the mockery.
114
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,295
Fine, I can take it.
115
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,960
But, come on, wouldn't it be
the coolest story ever
116
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,968
if the Slutty Pumpkin
turned out to be my future wife?
117
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,702
Oh, on the off-chance
that that could happen,
118
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,467
maybe we should stop calling her
the Slutty Pumpkin.
119
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:00,807
That's a really good point.
120
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,141
That's a good idea.
121
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:05,045
Ted, is your
world ready
122
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,078
to be rocked,
rocked, rocked?
123
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,454
Can't wait.
124
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,915
So...
125
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,563
what do you think?
126
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:15,858
So, what do you think?
127
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,529
( squawks )
128
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,088
Wow.
129
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,786
Marshall, are you wearing
eyeliner?
130
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:21,858
Oh, yeah.
131
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,725
Weirdly hot, right?
132
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,502
We are so going to win the
costume contest this year.
133
00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:30,435
First prize: $50 gift
certificate at the bar.
134
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,041
And how much did you pay
for your costumes?
135
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,272
$100.
136
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:34,477
Each.
137
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:38,348
Well, I think
you guys look great.
138
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:41,749
What are you going as?
Oh, like I even need to ask.
139
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,482
Hey, I want the Slutty Pumpkin
to recognize me,
140
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,617
and she knows me as...
a hanging chad.
141
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,315
What? She thought
it was hilarious.
142
00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:50,817
Yeah, four years ago,
143
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:53,888
but nobody remembers
what the hell a hanging chad is.
144
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,127
What a sad commentary
145
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,432
on our national
attention span--
146
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,374
that we could forget
such a turbulent time
147
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,499
in our political history.
148
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,904
Sad commentary.
149
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:02,865
( squawks )
150
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:03,973
All right,
151
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:04,944
Polly got to pee.
152
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,872
Again?
153
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,177
Where you going?
154
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,538
It's an elaborate costume.
155
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,547
( power chords playing
pop intro )
156
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:29,061
* Highway to the danger zone
157
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:34,326
* Gonna take you
right into the danger zone *
158
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,368
( music stops )
159
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:37,473
No, no, not again,
not this year.
160
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:38,835
You're going as my wingman.
161
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:39,842
Flight suit up.
162
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:40,743
No thanks.
163
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:43,184
I'm sticking with
the hanging chad.
164
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,710
Oh, you're dangerous,
Maverick.
165
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,345
Your ego's writing checks
your body can't cash.
166
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:48,815
Okay.
167
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:52,918
Here's the plan,
and I crap you not.
168
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:53,923
I'm getting us
169
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:57,664
into the Victoria's Secret
Halloween Party.
170
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,391
Trust me, by the end
of the night,
171
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,927
your chad will not
be hanging.
172
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,562
We can get rejected
by supermodels
173
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,627
any night of the year.
174
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:05,865
Tonight I'm going
up to the roof,
175
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,029
I'm going to
have a few beers,
176
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,897
I'm going to wait for
the Slutty Pumpkin.
177
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,496
It's just what I do.
178
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:13,238
Hmm. Victoria's Secret models
179
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:15,583
prancing around in bras
and panties...
180
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:20,079
or Yale preppies reuniting
their stupid a capella group.
181
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,053
What's that, left hand?
"Right hand sucks"?
182
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,522
Word.
183
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:24,751
Heading up to the roof.
184
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:27,085
Well, boys, looks like
it's just the three of us.
185
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,560
What's that? "Self five"?
186
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:29,719
Nice. We out.
187
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,332
Hey, Chad,
how's it hanging?
188
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:37,061
Hey, word play, funny.
189
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,497
Whoo, nice outfit.
190
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,933
I'm a parrot.
191
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:42,438
You sure are.
192
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:43,470
Where's Mike?
193
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:44,544
He's meeting me here.
194
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,172
I ran late covering
the Halloween parade
195
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,506
in the Village.
196
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,611
There are, like,
a zillion gay pirates this year.
197
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:52,553
Seriously,
does my eyeliner look okay?
198
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,480
Yes, it's weirdly hot.
199
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,645
So, where's your costume?
200
00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,254
( knocking )
Uh, you know,
Mike and I joked
201
00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,515
about doing
something together,
202
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:02,023
but we decided
not to dress up.
203
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,893
Oh, geez.
204
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:06,559
Hi.
205
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,004
Uh, everyone,
206
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,028
this is Michael.
207
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,302
That is not his real hair.
208
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,131
Um, where's your
costume, Gretel?
209
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,426
You thought I was...
210
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,368
Oh, I was just kidding.
211
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,173
I've got to stop
making jokes in e-mails.
212
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,665
It's so hard to convey tone.
213
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,539
I think we got them beat.
214
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,347
I can't believe you
talked me into this.
215
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:32,022
I didn't.
You followed me up here.
216
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,322
This party sucks.
217
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:37,194
There's seven
chicks here.
218
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:40,064
There's six
chicks here.
219
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,063
Relax. The night is young.
220
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,455
It's going to get better.
221
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,067
Ladies and gentlemen,
222
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:48,098
as on pitch as they were
at Spring Fling '95,
223
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:51,505
it's my pleasure to welcome back
the Shaggarats.
224
00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,109
CROWD ( cheering ):
Whoo!
225
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,840
Whoo!
226
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:59,406
* My Bonnie lies
over the ocean *
227
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,546
* My Bonnie lies
over the sea *
228
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:06,793
* My Bonnie lies
over the ocean *
229
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,960
* Oh, bring back
my Bonnie to me *
230
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,197
( all giggling )
231
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,869
( mimicking pirate ):
What be a pirate's
232
00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:21,028
favorite kind
of sweater?
233
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,268
Arr-gyle.
234
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,107
MARSHALL:
And what be
235
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:31,879
a pirate's favorite
fast food restaurant?
236
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:34,282
Arr-by's.
237
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,549
'Twould think it
would be Arby's.
238
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:40,145
( regular voice ):
But, actually, it's
Long John Silver's.
239
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,447
( all chuckling )
240
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,518
Actually, I kind of
need this hand to eat.
241
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,457
Oh..
242
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,062
( chuckles )
243
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,634
Oh, yeah.
244
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:49,702
( both growl like pirates )
245
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,460
Oh, thank you.
246
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,568
I'm starrr...ving!
247
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,770
Thank you.
248
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,536
It's so nice
to meet you, Mike.
249
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,111
You guys are
really cute together.
250
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,369
Yeah, we've been spending
a lot of time together.
251
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,878
We're even getting to that point
where we finish each other's...
252
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,478
This cheeseburger
is so...
253
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,483
Good. See?
254
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,145
( chuckles )
255
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,723
I think you won
the dish-off tonight, baby.
256
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:15,463
This steak totally
bitch-slapped my pork chops.
257
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:16,858
MARSHALL:
That may be true,
258
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,690
but your rice pilaf kicked
my spinach in the crotch
259
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,798
so hard it threw up
a little bit.
260
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,500
( laughs )
261
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,031
MARSHALL:
Mmm... mmm.
262
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,466
Mmm.
263
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,840
Robin, you have
to try this chicken.
264
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,010
Oh, that's good.
I'm okay. Thanks.
265
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,536
It's really tasty.
266
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,144
I'm just really feeling
this cheeseburger.
267
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,777
MIKE:
Come on.
268
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,012
Just try a little bite.
269
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,777
Dude, I'm kind of
in the zone here.
270
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,689
Oh, for God's sakes.
271
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:53,057
Really tasty.
272
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,772
( sustaining notes
in harmony )
273
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,839
( cheering and applause )
274
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,205
Hey.
275
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,939
Hey.
276
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,982
So what does a fella
have to do
277
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:14,081
to get lei'd around here?
278
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,584
Yeah.
279
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:21,017
Right. 'Cause I'm
wearing a lei.
280
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:24,864
It isn't funny
if you explain the joke.
281
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:27,997
Let's bail.
282
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,098
No, Barney, come on.
I'm having fun.
283
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,770
Plus, it's really great to
see all these guys again.
284
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,340
Name one person you know
at this party.
285
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,198
Well, there's Ninja,
286
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,337
Back of Horse.
287
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,672
Hey, where's
Front of Horse?
288
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:43,078
That guy's a riot.
Where is he?
289
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,411
Okay, I'm leaving.
290
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,275
But just know that this
Victoria's Secret party
291
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,654
is on a yacht.
292
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,722
And what will be sticking
to that yacht?
293
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,291
The "Barnacle."
294
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,450
Really?
295
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,657
That's your
nickname now?
296
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:56,689
Yeah, the Barnacle.
The Barnacle?
297
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,934
That's it.
298
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,188
Barnacle out.
299
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,127
Have fun, Barnacle.
300
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,527
So... do you like Mike?
301
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,236
Do you like Mike?
302
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,768
Of course I do. Why?
303
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,943
It just doesn't
seem like it.
304
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,672
You won't share your food.
You won't wear a costume.
305
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,138
Oh, Lily, you know me.
306
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,176
I'm just not into
all that coupley stuff.
307
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,981
Okay, I know that stuff
looks dumb from the outside,
308
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,484
but it's kind of the
greatest thing in the world
309
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,716
when you're a part of it.
310
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:26,022
If you just gave it
311
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:28,063
a chance, you might like it.
312
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,958
Are you trying to get me
to join a cult?
313
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,230
Robin, Mike likes you.
314
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:34,229
If you don't start
meeting him halfway,
315
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,361
you're gonna lose him.
316
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,295
What?
317
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:37,459
Look, it's Halloween.
318
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,627
Just put on the girlfriend
costume for a night.
319
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:43,797
Okay, well, what am I
supposed to do,
320
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,807
buy him a giant teddy bear
or something?
321
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:50,210
How about you start
by sharing dessert?
322
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,583
I can share dessert.
323
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,712
Good.
324
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,847
He better want
the brownie sundae,
325
00:11:56,884 --> 00:12:00,224
but yeah, yeah,
I can totally share.
326
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,656
Barney?
327
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:11,657
What, you're back?
328
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:12,628
That's right.
329
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,265
In a totally
new costume.
330
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:17,501
Every Halloween
I bring a spare costume,
331
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,367
in case I strike out with
the hottest girl at the party.
332
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,737
That way I have a second chance
to make a first impression.
333
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:25,884
What's with the face?
334
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,953
It's half you're pathetic,
half I have to pee.
335
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,081
So go to the bathroom.
No, there's a huge line.
336
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:32,547
I don't want to miss
the "Slutty Pumpkin."
337
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,115
So pee off the roof.
338
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,894
Ooh, Ted,
pee off the roof.
339
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,893
Whoa, I wouldn't do
that if I were you.
340
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,325
There's people
walking down there.
341
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,899
Come on, Ted,
who you gonna listen to?
342
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:45,299
Me or Mr. Goody-Goody
over there?
343
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:48,972
Yeah, whatever. You
guys got some weed?
344
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,472
A little
to the left, Marshall.
345
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:52,744
ROBIN:
Lily, squat down.
346
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,372
This is gonna be a slaughter.
347
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:58,177
None of these other costumes
even come close to ourrr...s!
348
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:01,311
Take the damn
picture. ( squawks )
349
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:02,348
Got it.
350
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:05,352
I still think we should have won
as Sonny and Cher.
351
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,785
Maybe if I'd worn
the red dress. Huh.
352
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:10,291
If I could
turn back time.
353
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,063
( gasps )
354
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,762
Oh, wow, this sundae
looks so good.
355
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,063
I could eat
the whole thing.
356
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,495
But, um, I would
much rather share
357
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,231
this small one-scoop sundae
with you, Mike.
358
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:23,898
Apple tart? Excellent
choice, Lily-pad.
359
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,167
Thanks, Marshmallow.
360
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:29,536
Well, let's dig in, Mi... Mi...
Microwave Oven.
361
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,922
Let me guess.
362
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:38,118
Every guy's used the lei'd line
on you tonight, huh?
363
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,921
You wouldn't believe.
364
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,223
I apologize for my gender.
365
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,715
Let me make it up to you.
Make you a drink?
366
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,086
Oh.
367
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,885
You certainly are
a charming devil.
368
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:50,697
I'm also a "horny" devil.
369
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:51,970
Yeah.
370
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,429
( chuckles )
371
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,036
No.
372
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,042
Oh, go to hell.
373
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,245
You know,
374
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,749
if you guys
like tiramisu,
375
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,150
we found this little
Italian place...
376
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,082
No, you found it.
I came with you.
377
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,392
Go on.
378
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,720
I'm just saying,
we love tiramisu.
379
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,685
I cannot get
enough of it.
380
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,194
We're crazy for the stuff.
381
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,226
I'm crazy, and
you're crazy...
382
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,325
...for tiramisu.
383
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:25,067
MIKE:
Right.
384
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,368
We love tiramisu.
385
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,169
Mm-hmm.
386
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,570
Am I wrong saying that?
No, no, no.
387
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,241
I mean, it just sounds
a little bit weird.
388
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,100
Doesn't it?
389
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,968
We love tiramisu?
390
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,706
Isn't really a group activity.
391
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,881
Loving tiramisu?
392
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,480
Right?
393
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:43,922
So this Italian place,
how is their cannoli?
394
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,391
ROBIN:
Oh!
395
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,048
Easy there, hungry.
396
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:52,187
Mmm.
397
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,755
Yeah, looks like we're
both hungry.
398
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:55,704
( chuckles )
399
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:56,998
Hey, is that Gary Oldman?
400
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:57,630
Wait... where?
401
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,374
I don't see...
402
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,075
Brain freeze.
403
00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:14,479
Okay, Victoria's Secret party,
right now.
404
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:15,384
Nope.
Come on.
405
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,175
I can't stand watching
my delusional friend
406
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,147
waste another
precious Halloween.
407
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,446
Ted, the "Slutty Pumpkin"
is not coming.
408
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:22,518
She might.
409
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,455
( groans )
410
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,160
Come on, Barney, this
is not about the odds.
411
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,432
It's about believing.
412
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,329
This girl, she...
413
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,000
she represents
something to me.
414
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,399
I don't know.
415
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,530
Hope.
416
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:34,604
Wow.
417
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,044
I did not understand
a word you just said.
418
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:42,436
Lingerie models on a boat!
419
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,535
See ya.
420
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,777
No. See ya.
421
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:47,813
( laughs devilishly )
422
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,147
Ow!
423
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,524
Want to drink
the melty part?
424
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:54,823
You know what?
425
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,164
It's getting late.
426
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:57,893
I think I'm gonna
427
00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:58,964
take off.
428
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,732
Hey.
429
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,200
I thought we were gonna
follow those breadcrumbs
430
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,230
back to my place, Hansel.
431
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,795
Robin, I don't get the sense
you like being with me.
432
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,244
I like being with you.
433
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:10,769
Not as much as you
like being alone.
434
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,213
You like...
435
00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:14,239
eating your own food,
sleeping in your own bed,
436
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,584
doing your own crosswords.
437
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,308
Who uses ink?
438
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,881
Sorry.
439
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,952
Okay, I'm a bit
set in my ways.
440
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,581
That doesn't mean
that this won't work.
441
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,686
Actually, it kind of does.
442
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:28,118
Wait. Are we breaking up?
443
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:30,485
No,aren't
breaking up.
444
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:33,463
I'm breaking
up with you.
445
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:43,073
TED:
And then just as I was
about to lose hope...
446
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:49,076
She spent a year in Antarctica
studying penguins.
447
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,709
Kahlua, root beer...
448
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,375
Could this penguin be
449
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:57,354
the "Slutty Pumpkin?"
450
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,033
Uh, excuse me.
451
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,131
This is going to sound crazy,
452
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,373
but I met someone
up on this roof four years ago,
453
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:16,739
and they mixed that cocktail,
and-and they loved penguins.
454
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,539
By any chance, was that you?
455
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,307
It's you.
456
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,753
Everyone thought
I was crazy, but I came...
457
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,148
You are such a loser.
458
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:30,747
Come on, I came
back for you, Ted.
459
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,623
I penguin-suited up
460
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,252
to show you the
error of your ways.
461
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,117
And to score
Hula Girl's number.
462
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,686
Check and check.
463
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:38,964
Unbelievable.
464
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,031
Yes, it is.
465
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,900
Oh. Wait a minute.
466
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,359
You're that lame army guy.
467
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,167
What? No, No,
that's some other guy,
468
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,629
and he was a kick-ass
fighter pilot.
469
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,237
I cannot believe I
gave you my number.
470
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,699
Yeah, well, you did. Thanks.
471
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:51,467
Yeah. Well, give it back.
472
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,474
Well, uh, I don't think so.
473
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:53,635
I earned it fair and square.
474
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,943
I'm calling you.
475
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,214
But I'm never gonna
go out with you.
476
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:59,014
But how will you know it's me?
477
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,345
I'm a master of disguise.
478
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,021
Yeah.
479
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,679
( sighs )
480
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,260
Nice.
481
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,558
Come on, Ted.
482
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,589
Victoria's Secret party,
now, let's go.
483
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:12,864
I'm staying.
484
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:16,062
( sighs ):
Fine! Fine...
485
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:16,925
What are you doing?
486
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,603
I'm flippering you off.
487
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,939
Oh, sweetie,
I'm so sorry.
488
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,071
Seriously,
489
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,405
it's not a big deal.
490
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,980
He wanted to be a we,
and I wanted to be an I.
491
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,909
Dudes are such chicks.
492
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,675
Hmm.
493
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:35,724
You guys, I'm fine.
494
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,118
MAN:
Ladies and
495
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,090
gentlemen, the results are in.
496
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,988
And the winners
of this year's
497
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,460
costume contest are...
498
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,959
Lily Aldren
as a parrot,
499
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,891
and Marshall Erikson
as a gay pirate!
500
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,086
Oh, yeah!
501
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,497
Wait, what did he say?
502
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,859
Oh, who cares, Marshall?
We won!
503
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:54,098
Wait. Gay pirate--
where are you getting that from?
504
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,543
Dude, you're
wearing eyeliner.
505
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:56,668
Okay.
506
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,613
I just want everybody here
to know I'm not a gay pirate.
507
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,709
I have sex
with my parrot all the time.
508
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,481
That came out wrong.
509
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,781
Oh, yeah, doesn't matter.
510
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,052
We won!
511
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,119
I love you,
Marshmallow.
512
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,418
I love you, too, Lily Pad.
513
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,250
You guys, let me
get a picture.
514
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,529
( camera shutter clicking )
515
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:22,158
* I want to know
what it's like *
516
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:27,265
* On the inside of love...
517
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,200
I had a feeling
I'd find you here.
518
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,696
Oh, hey.
519
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,437
If you're here
for the Shaggarats,
520
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,442
you just missed
the fourth encore.
521
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:38,014
I never played any team sports.
522
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,654
Are we playing "I never"?
523
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,079
'Cause there's nothing left
but peach schnapps.
524
00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,824
I played tennis in high school.
525
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,051
You know why?
526
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:47,645
Because it was just me
out there.
527
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,717
I couldn't even stand
playing doubles.
528
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,063
I just got dumped.
529
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,862
Oh, man, that sucks.
530
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,195
Yeah. It's okay.
531
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,770
I wasn't that into him.
532
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,168
Story of my life.
533
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,769
Everyone else is off
534
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,341
falling in love
and acting stupid and goofy
535
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,911
and sweet and insane,
but not me.
536
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,239
Why don't I
537
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,735
want that more?
538
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,336
I want to want that.
539
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,708
Am I wired wrong or something?
540
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:14,746
No.
541
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,781
Look, you didn't want to be
with me,
542
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:19,146
so, clearly,
you have abysmal taste in men.
543
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,915
( laughs )
544
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:23,023
But you're wired just fine.
545
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,655
Well, what if I'm just a...
546
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,232
a cold person?
547
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,431
Tonight Mike was willing to look
548
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,833
like a complete idiot for me,
but I couldn't be Gretel.
549
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:36,496
Why can't I be Gretel?
550
00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,666
Because you just haven't met
the right Hansel yet.
551
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:41,005
Hey, one day, you're
gonna meet a guy
552
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,280
who's gonna make you want to
look like a complete idiot.
553
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,580
Really?
554
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,351
Yeah. He's out there somewhere.
555
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:49,719
Just like the Slutty Pumpkin...
pumpkin, pumpkin...
556
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:53,090
How do you do this, Ted?
557
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,419
How do you
558
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:57,024
sit out here all night
on the roof in the cold,
559
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,826
and still have faith
your pumpkin's gonna show up?
560
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,929
Well, I'm pretty drunk.
561
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,062
( laughs )
562
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,626
Look, I know that odds are
563
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:09,336
the love of my life isn't gonna
magically walk through that door
564
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:13,409
in a pumpkin costume
at 2:43 in the morning, but...
565
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,280
this seems as nice a spot
as any to just,
566
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:20,349
you know, sit and wait.
567
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,618
( soft groan )
568
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:37,534
* I want to know what it's like
on the inside of love... *
36051
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