All language subtitles for The A-Team (1983) - S02E12 - The White Ballot (1080p x265 EDGE2020).eng

(male narrator)
Ten years ago,
a crack commando unit

was sent to prison
by a military court

for a crime
they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped
from a maximum security
stockade

to the Los Angeles
underground.

Today, still wanted
by the government,

they survive
as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can help,

and if you can find them,
maybe you can hire the A-Team.

[gun firing]

*[country music playing]

(Ollie)
Come on, Sheriff, that was
a scratch, plain as day.

Hold your water, Ollie.
I'm just practicing.

There ain't nothing in the
rules about practice shots.

My rules are different
than yours, Ollie.

Ain't that right, boys?

[all laughing]

Nine ball, corner pocket.

We got him out back
in the squad car.

[crickets chirping]

Well, hiya, Jimmy.

How's the newspaper business?

Why don't you step out
so we can have a little talk?

Is that what you
said to Stan King

before you rolled
his car in a ditch?

See, that's the kind of thing
that gets you in trouble.

You ain't got any right
writing those lies about me
in the newspaper.

I'm running for
a big election here.

People read that stuff,
they get jumpy.

I'm going to win, anyway.

Get him out of there.

[grunting]

Baker, I run this town.

If you forget that,

remember Stan King.

What's keeping 'em?

They'll be here, I promise.

I told them everything
and they wanna help.

They just have
a weird schedule.

Sorry, folks, I'm gonna
have to ask you to drink up.
We're closing.

Excuse me.

Hannibal,
you must be slipping.

I could tell it was you
a mile away.

The nose is awful,
but the hair,

where did you get it?
Mail order?

You got a problem, miss?

I mean, really,
the thing looks like
it's ready to start purring.

[exclaims]

Lady...

I'm sorry.

[knocking on door]

All closed up.

You just got
new hours, sucker!
Now get out of the way.

Would anyone like
some coffee?

Oh, that would be nice.

How would you like it?

In a cup, fool.

Why would a guy
wear a wig like that?

Looks like
a dead plant.
Yeah.

You're late.
Where is Hannibal?

Ah, Hannibal had to do
some close-ups

on the Gila Monster
Who Ate France.

Big-budget film.

Mr. Baker's waiting.
Ah.

Mr. Baker?
Sorry we're late.

It's all right.

Looks like Sheriff Dawson
got a little tired of you
pushing him around.

Yeah.

You'd think a guy
who's Sheriff for 20 years
would be more subtle.

He doesn't have to be.

He just flashes his badge
and throws his weight around.

(Baker)
Anybody doesn't like it,
they wind up in jail

on some trumped-up charge
or they get beat on.

Why don't you vote him out?

If anyone sounds like
they're gonna
run for candidate,

he buys them out
or shuts them up some way.

The last was Stan King.

He wound up in a ditch
outside of town

the day after
he announced he was running.

Sounds like this guy Dawson
needs to be taught
a good lesson.

(Baker)
Don't underestimate him.
He's smart.

Never leaves
anything laying around
for you to pin on him later.

Otherwise, I'd have taken this
to the attorney general
before now.

Well, if we're gonna
draw this guy out,

we, uh, need to know
his weak spots.

What else does
he have going?

Oh, plenty.

Guns, money, whiskey,
you name it.

Money? Like what?

Like a little casino
he allows to prosper
a few miles outside of town.

It's at a place called
Danny's Satellite Lounge.

He takes a piece of the action
and nobody bothers anything.

And what about the whiskey?

Side business.
Smuggles the stuff.

Nobody pays any tax,
he's got a built-in market.

The next shipment's
coming in three days,
running right up Highway 49.

Yeah, and you can be sure
there aren't gonna be
any cops there

unless they're thirsty.

Thanks.

So what can we possibly
come up with
to drill a guy like Dawson?

Well, we could, uh, start
by running our own candidate
for Sheriff.

I think Hannibal would
love a plan like that.

I don't know. That's like
asking for trouble.

Running somebody
against Dawson like that.
He's a killer.

Yeah, you're right.
That's a problem.

Where are we gonna find
somebody dumb enough

to go to that town and be
a candidate for Sheriff?

Hmm.

I mean, nobody's that stupid.

(Hannibal)
Not a bad picture
for a campaign poster.

Amy, what do we have
to work with?

We have got
the perfect cover.

His name is Joe Morgan.

I checked with
county records.

He left town about
20 years ago
to join the army.

And he hasn't
been back since.

Hey, this guy got a
battlefield commission in Nam.

Hannibal,
sometimes I think
you're crazier than Murdock.

How in the world
are you gonna pass Face off
as a war hero

in this guy's hometown?

B. A., you got to have faith.

It's been 20 years.
People change, people forget.

Amy, when you write this up,
you got to lay it on
pretty thick

about the returning hero.

And wire to Baker
as soon as you can.

When we get to town,
everybody's got to know
who Joe Morgan is.

B. A., you might as well
start it up now.

It'll go like clockwork.

You know, when Face
turns on the charm,
he can do anything.

Let's get out of here.

[both panting]

[Murdock speaking Spanish]

[tires screeching]

I'm telling you,
these sudden departures

are starting
to drive me crazy.

Shut up, Murdock.
You're already crazy.

Oh, yeah?

At least there's somebody
glad to see me.

And I still
have my harmonica.

(B.A.)
Hannibal,
he's starting it again.

He's trying to make me mad.

You know he ain't
got no harmonica there.
There's nothing but hot air.

Murdock, better put it away.

You know B. A. doesn't like
music while he's driving.

Now listen up.
We got a lot of stuff to do

before we put Amy and Face
on that plane tomorrow.

Me? I thought I was going up
with you guys in the van.

How do you think
Joe Morgan's
homecoming would look

without his new bride?

Amy, you got married.
That's wonderful.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Now just wait a minute
here, Hannibal.

Nobody said
anything about a wife.

I don't know, Face,
I think I'd make
a pretty good First Lady.

I'm poised. I'm ambitious.

Face, try and look sharp, huh?

I always look sharp.

(Hannibal)
We'll be there with TV cameras

to make a big deal
of the whole thing.

Sheriff Dawson will give you
the key to the city.

There'll be a crowd
waving little flags
and cheering you, Face.

Sounds like I'll be
riding into a range war
looking like a greeting card.

A lot of elections
have been won and lost
on the first impressions.

William McKinley
took a losing campaign,

turned it into victory
by whistle-stopping
across the country.

Worked great for him, too.
He was assassinated.

Hannibal, one question here.

What happens
if I win this election?

(Face)
You know, I can't
be a sheriff.

Considering a fact
there's a price on my head,

if I take a gig
as a public servant

that's not exactly
what I'd consider
a job with a future.

Picky, picky.

The Sheriff will
never let it go that far
if I read him right.

He'll have you killed off
long before anybody
gets to the polls.

And that's where
we come in for real.

We'll get the whole thing
on videotape.

The whole thing?

Oh, I'm touched.

Uh, the attempt.

I mean, don't worry.
You'll be fine.

We'll be right there
to pull his plug.

As long as, uh, everything
goes according to plan.

Sounds like money
in the bank to me.

[cheering]

[cheering]

(Hannibal)
Okay, Billy, put a camera
down right here.

Excuse me
a minute, fella.

Not now, pal.

No, if you want an autograph,
I'll talk to you later.

No, no, put the camera
over the chalk mark,
will you, Brad?

Camera stays.

I'm, uh, Jake Dawson,
Sheriff of this county.

Oh! You're the guy
that's gonna give
the key to the city.

Yeah. We'll make
that presentation
over by the steps.

Hey, Brad, the deputy's
gonna make a presentation

at the bottom of the steps--

Sheriff! I'm a sheriff!

Oh, right.
What's your name again?

Never mind,
I'll get you to sign
the release paper later.

Stand right over here.

Just step right on
over here. That's it.

Now. Hold the flag up,
hold the key up.

That's fine.
Now we get ready. Good, good.

Is he gonna wear that hat?

I ain't got
no lights, Herb, jeez.

Yeah, okay.

Excuse me, Sheriff,
I got to get a little
light in your eyes there.

That's fine. Yeah.
That's great! Now.

Nice talking to you, Herb.

All right. Roll it.

Now give us a big smile.
That's great.

I'm in love with it.

Okay.

Grand.
Thank you very much, Sheriff.

You just stand
right over here.

*[band playing music]

Got that one?

Little girl with flowers.
Girl with flowers.

Come on, darling.
That's it. That's it.

(Hannibal)
That's it, sweetheart.

Well, uh, Joe, how come
you didn't wear
your Silver Star?

Silver Star?

Well, sure.
You know, the one you were
awarded in Vietnam.

Uh, Mr. Kyle,
could we not do this?

I told you,
when I left the Pentagon,
I didn't want any publicity.

My wife and I
would just like
to go home quietly.

Yes, but the Sheriff
is here to present you
with the key to the city.

You ready, Brad?

Whenever you are,
B.C. I mean, C.B.

Try and keep it fresh now.

Give us a big smile.
Step right in here, Sheriff.

That's it, that's it.
Keep that key up.

Okay. You ready, Brad?

Ready, ready.
Camera's ready.

Okay, roll, roll.

All right. Yeah!

[all cheering]

The fact that Joe Morgan
has chosen to settle here

is a great testament
to the way of life
I've tried to maintain

for the citizens of Parkland.

So on behalf of myself
and the whole town,

I'd like to present you
with the key to the city.

Yeah! Joe!

[cheering]

Please, please.

That's very nice, Sheriff,
and I appreciate it
and all that,

but I'm sorry.
I just can't accept this.

(Face)
You weren't here to offer me
the key to the city

when I went away to war,

and I, uh, think it'd be
a little dishonest

to accept it
now that I'm back.

Thanks, anyway.

Come on, honey,
let's catch a cab.

Zoom in on
the Sheriff, Murdock.

It doesn't bother you none
this guy comes to town
with a pretty wife

and I roll up with this key
so he can turn it down,

make me look like a jerk.

Maybe he's
an opinionated fella.

I've been around too long
not to know when
I'm being blindsided.

He couldn't have
planned it better.

He wants something.

Rance,

I want you to find out
if there's anything
stinking up his files.

I mean anything.

Nobody gets away
with treating me like dirt.

Nobody.

That man seems upset.

Back at the VA,
he'd be first in line
for the ice cube room.

That man's too unstable
for politics,

and believe me,
I know whereof
I speak, Jack.

Yeah, when Face turned down
that key to the city,

it sure got
his motor running.

When he sees our
little campaign get going,

that Sheriff's
gonna be out of wind

just trying to get out
of his own way.

*[music playing]

Don't you just
love it, B. A.?

The excitement
of the electoral process.

The sense of history.

The quest for the truth.

The amp with a million watts
per channel

just pumping the old red,
white, and blue.

I hate brass bands.

Friends, Romans,
and country persons,

listen up out there,
dudes and dudettes--

I should've left you
back there
in the state hospital

with the rest
of those mixed nuts.

Come on down
to Veteran's Park today
and meet Joe Morgan.

While you're there,
pick up your free pen,
compliments of Joe Morgan.

And use that free pen
to write in Joe Morgan's name

on Election Day.

And then sell
that pretty pen,
sell that little critter

for big money

and cruise to scenic Alaska:
home of the famous husky.

Oh, you know,
when I was in high school,

I ran for president
of the student council.

But I lost on
a technicality, though.

They weren't having
an election at the time.

Remember, Joe Morgan's
the guy that you can't buy.

Sheriff Dawson, who's sly,
can always try,
but it won't fly!

(B.A.)
That's it, sucker.
I've heard enough.

Hey, give me back
that mike, B. A.!

(B.A.) Give me that thing.

Meany!

Here you go, brother,
vote for Joe Morgan.

New Sheriff.

Here you go, my man,
vote for Joe Morgan.

He's running for Sheriff.
All right.

Joe Morgan for Sheriff.
Joe Morgan for Sheriff, here.

All right.

Joe Morgan for Sheriff,
here.

(Dawson)
Posters!

This guy

is way too organized
for somebody that
just came into town.

Well, go on, continue.

Um, well, he was, uh,

born at
Parkland General Hospital.

Graduated from Parkland High

and he turned down
a scholarship at State U
so he could join the army.

Battlefield commission,
Silver Star,
discharged in '69.

Both his mother
and father died
about 10 years ago

and are buried
in Parkland Cemetery.

Give me the rest.

Well, that's it.
There isn't any more.

What happened to him
after he got out of the army?

Well, the discharge
is the last thing in his file.

I--I ran a check
through the VA and the FBI
and they both came up zero.

He never even filed
a federal tax return.

This guy's
the invisible m-m-man.

Then how come I keep
seeing him everywhere?

His name is plastered
all over town
for the past three days.

Every time
you turn around,

he's shaking
hands with somebody

and every one
of em's a vote.

This dirt bag's
gunning for me.

And you can't
even prove he existed

from the time
he left the army
until yesterday.

You find out
what Morgan's game is,
and I don't care how.

Now get out of here.

[sighing]

Mister,

I sure wish I knew
what little trick
you were gonna try next.

Hey, everybody,
listen up.

This man's got
something to say.

Hi there.
I'm, uh, I'm Joe Morgan.

Dawson, you better get
your tail over here.

America's conscience
just showed up.

Yeah.

Now you, uh, boys
may not know me, but, uh,

I'm running for Sheriff.
That's right.

And, uh, well,
I just wanted y'all to know

that what you're
doing here is illegal.

You ain't getting
any votes here, Jack,
so why don't you shove off.

Uh...

(Face)
The name's Joe.

Now I think, you know,
in the long run, that, uh,
you're going to thank me.

That's right.

Hold on a minute.
Hold on, now.

Running a casino's
one thing.

But when that casino's
rigged so nobody wins,

what then?

Yeah, you boys have been
suckered by the oldest trick
in the hat.

Now I'm not saying
that, uh, Sheriff Dawson
knew anything about this.

But, uh,
he sure shoulda.

We've been cheated!

That's right.
What are we gonna do
about it?

(Danny)
You ain't gonna do a thing.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Ball four, take your base.

B. A., give me
that axe handle.

Mr. Morgan, could we have
one more just for the paper?

Yeah, sure.
The old take two, huh?

That's it. Hold it.

It's great to see
a natural at work.

Nice to see you,
Sheriff.

[Hannibal chuckling]

Dawson, what am I paying you
protection money for
if this kind of thing happens?

Look at it.

This place is
completely trashed.

Put a towel on it,
Danny.

I can promise you
one thing.

Our hero, Mr. Morgan,

has done his last bit
of damage in this town.

(Decker)
What is it, Captain?
I'm real busy.

I got something happening
on the A-Team, sir.

Where?

Parkland, New Mexico.

Picture in a local daily
shows a man

who looks just
like Templeton Peck.

He'd never let
his picture be taken.

Who's he claiming to be?

Name under the photo
says Joe Morgan.

And here's a twist.

Morgan is running
for Sheriff.

Sheriff.

Stupid. Real stupid.

I've got a car
waiting right now

to take us to the
airport, Colonel.

Get an advance group ready
to meet us in New Mexico

so we can squadron
right to Parkland.

Oh, it's done, sir.

(Sheriff chuckles)
Rance.

Wait till you read this.

I knew there was something
about this guy that
didn't belong in church.

Get the squad car.
We'll drive over
back of his hotel.

You want some backup?

We're not gonna
need any backup.
All we're going to need

is a shotgun.

I want that director fella
who's working
for Morgan, alive.

He's got me
looking like half a tank
in that movie he's making.

I want that film back
before we finish him.

And if he won't
play ball?

Just get him down
in the squad car.

He will play ball.

Make it quick, and don't
call attention to yourself.

So long, Joe Morgan.

Hi, Sheriff.

I'd have called,
but I didn't have
your number. Drive.

Now!

I saw your dumb brother
going in there.

I don't suppose you know
what's happening, would you?

No. You plan
on using that?

No. Killing's your game,
Dawson.

Tell me how do you live
with yourself,

leaving good people
in ditches?

I don't know about
anybody in ditches.

Something's eating
on your brain, mister.

Yeah? How about
we check yours out?

Huh? A little
memory quiz?

Stan King. Jim Baker.
Ring any bells?

I'd think you were
feeling guilty,
but I know better.

Where am I supposed
to be going?

With any luck, prison.

Turn right here,
go down the block.

What do you want, mister?

I mean, what
do you really want?

I want you out of town
permanently.

Leave it to Morgan, huh?
Let's talk about him.

I may just be
a county sheriff,
but I ran a make on Morgan.

And, uh, guess what?

Now you look scared.

Oh, yeah?

All it means
is I have to work fast.

And I always work fast.

[dog barking]

Okay, this is it,
Sheriff. Get out.

Hey, guys,
I brought some burgers.

I got some chow,
and a big hamburger.

Very funny.
You boys are real trouble.

I don't think
you count so good.

No, it's the Sheriff
that's been making trouble.

(Hannibal)
He ran a make
on our friend Joe Morgan,

and then he put
Joe's picture on the wire

to everybody
he could think of.

Yeah, it wasn't even
my good side.

Now, we're gonna
have to tell our friend,
Col. Decker,

who's under
the misguided impression
that we're the bad guys,

all about your
dirty little operations.

So he'll arrest you.

When he hears about
dirty little operations

he goes animal, baby.
Animal.

It won't wash.

That teletype said that you
were a military prisoner.

And I'm the Sheriff.

Besides you don't have
any real proof.

Don't worry. We will.

Like that truck
going up Route 49,
full of bootleg whiskey?

Now that's where
you're gonna help us out.

Just out of curiosity,
what time is that
gonna take place?

What time exactly?

That's it.

[tires squealing]

We're getting closer, B. A.

[siren wailing]

(Dawson)
You're boxed in, boys.

Yeah, well, then we'll take
the lid off. Step on it, B. A.

Come on, let's make them eat
their own taillights.

(Hannibal)
Let's go, B. A.
Let's get around this guy.

(B.A.)
I can't. This guy's
keeping us boxed in.

They're still comin'.

They sure are.

[brakes screeching]

All right, you stay right
where you are!

Far away from the sheriff.

Come on, let's get those
reinforcements going.

[guns firing]

(Face)
Empty, Hannibal.
Me, too.

Okay! Okay, guys.

I got to give
you credit, Dawson.

It was a real nice setup.

You boys joke
all you want.

I got you for kidnapping,
stealing a squad car,
hijacking a truck.

Serious offenses,
very serious.

Yeah?

Well, murder
scores pretty high.

I mean, if you want
to compare notes.

I don't appreciate
that kind of accusation.

Tell us
what kind you'd like.

Maybe we can come up
with something.

Don't just stand there,
pick up their guns.

Your buddy, the Colonel,
is gonna be a happy man.

As a matter of fact,
I think I'm gonna
make it easy for him.

Yeah? What about the election?

There isn't gonna be one.

'Cause there won't be
any candidate around,

any living candidate,

to oppose me.

Let's get this over with.

You're about the last
person I expected
to come waltzing in here.

What've you done
with my friends?

They've been
missing all day.

They're with the sheriff.

Well, you just saved
me a lot of bother

coming to round you up myself.
I appreciate it.

Not half as much
as I do. Don't move.

Well, well. You never know who
you'll be glad to see, do you?

Do you know the kind
of trouble you can buy,

just charging
into a sheriff's office
and messing up--

Save it!
Put that gun away, Deputy.

(Rance)
What do you fellas want?

A group of escaped
military prisoners.

Call themselves the A-Team.

You think they're here?

Come on, Colonel,
you can't be serious.

You're getting paranoid,
do you know that?

We know they're here.

And we know
you're involved with them.

So don't play
games with me, lady.

Colonel, you want to make
a really big bust,

let me clue you in on it.

I came to this town

to write about the election
they're having for Sheriff

and I discovered
the incumbent is running
a dirty campaign.

Why don't you check that out?

That's not
why I'm here.

You tell me
where those people are,
I want to know now.

Dawson's got 'em.
Where?

In a truck repair garage

not far from
Danny's Satellite Lounge.

Just a few miles from here.

We've got 'em inside.

We caught them
when they tried to

pull a truck hijacking
out in the highway.

And they're all
being held there?

Yeah.

Good. You're gonna
take us out there.

I'm going out
to that truck garage,
Miss Allen.

And I'm taking
you along.

Terrific. Shall we?

Are you guys for real?

You think you're gonna
get away with this?

Free and clear, hero.
You're forgetting

I'm still
Sheriff of this county.

Oh, I don't know.
Like they say:

The opera isn't over
till the fat lady sings.

Or the people vote.

Bring them to the office.

Boys, enjoy the decor.

'Cause as soon as
Rance gets back here
with Mrs. Morgan,

you

are gonna get
a whole new understanding

of the will of the people.

Gee, if I'd known you were
gonna bring us someplace
nice like this,

I would've, uh, dressed
for the occasion.

Very funny.

Let's go over
to Danny's and, uh,
get a beer.

Donald, you stand guard.

Face, watch the door.

Right.

All right,
he's six feet away.

Give me a hand
and move that desk over here.

Hold it, hold it, hold it!
Here he comes.

What time's lunch?

All right.

There, right there.

B. A., if you look at things
the right way,
anything can be on your side.

In this case, we look up.

Murdock, there's
a little crawl space up there,

see if you can
get in it.

I will endeavor
to render myself
as tiny as possible.

That'll be easy, fool.
Just think about your brain.

I need a chair.

I'm getting up.

* Ceilings,
nothing more than ceilings *

* I'm heading into ceilings *

* Above the floor *

Shut up, fool,
or I'll come up there
after you.

(Murdock)
Boy, it's d-d-d-dark up here.

[panting]
Your problem is your vents.

It's gonna run you
heavy change, buddy.

But don't take it
personally.

You have your good days,
you have your bad days.

Just like the President.

Face, give Murdock
a hand and pull that
deputy into the office.

What are we
gonna do, Hannibal?

That deputy's
coming here with Amy.

Well, B. A.,

it's amazing

what a few motivated men
can do in a very short time

with a few simple tools
and a lot of ingenuity.

[drilling]

There it is.

[generator motor starting]

(officer)
Come on, Sheriff.

Rance radioed and said
the MPs are on their way.

Hello.

Will you let me handle this?

Any objections?

Fine.

There's going to be
five crisp $100 bills
for each of you.

All right.

Let's go.

[hissing]

Get him!

Attention.

[grunts]

[laughing]

(Hannibal)
You lose the election,
Sheriff.

And you don't get a recount.

Hey, guys,
let's lock 'em in the truck.

Let's move!

Breaks your heart,
right?

A million pieces.

[police siren wailing]

(Murdock)
More of 'em?

It's not that big
a town.

Hannibal, you think maybe...

Yeah, I do.

(Face)
Decker?

Yeah. But he won't know
we got the upper hand.

Which means, we do.
Let's go.

(Hannibal)
Stay out of sight.

Looks like some bad trouble.

Your A-Team may
not even be alive
for me to take away.

[engine starting]

[horn honking]

Simple military
strategy, Colonel.

It's called a pincer movement.
It beat the Romans
and it beat you.

Put your hands on
top of your heads.

(Hannibal)
You got them, Face?

Is that Miss Allen with you?
I thought she had dark hair.

Why don't you quit
playing games, Smith?

He doesn't play games,
Colonel.

He just wins them.

(Hannibal)
I'm sorry, Miss Allen,
but due to security problems,

we're gonna have
to incarcerate you

with Col. Decker
and his drones.

I wish we could find
more amusing company.

Well, maybe you ought
to give her some kind
of a quote, Hannibal.

You know,
something personal.

Miss Allen, you may
tell your readers
that the A-Team,

having locked
the crooked deputies
and sheriff in a truck,

held off the MPs
under the command
of the rabid Col. Decker

and departed.

Col. Smith was
heard to observe, quote,

"The A-Team is proud
to help diminish
the rampant violence

so prevalent
in society today."

[laughing]

Face, I'd say you ran
a fast and effective campaign.

I'm just glad to be
a single woman again.

You're a good politician,
Face, but a crummy husband.

Listen, uh, I don't want
to toot my own horn
or anything,

but how much did
I actually win by?

Uh...

How much did I beat him by?

Uh, Murdock,

you've got the paper,
uh, what's it say?

Come on, now.
What are you guys
trying to hide here?

I mean,
it's not like I lost.

I lost? Oh, come on,

I-I couldn't have lost.

Um, Sheriff Dawson, 465.

Joe Morgan, 460.

But, uh, since Dawson was
arrested and you were
the only other one to run,

they decided
to give it to you anyway.

I don't believe it.

Those were
my supporters back there.

My people.

[sighing]

Politics.

I tell you,
this election business,
it's really got me thinking.

Nothing gets you
thinking, fool,

except somebody else
talking for you.

No, no, no, no, B. A.

I'm serious, I'm serious.
I really could get into
this running for office.

And I'm talking about
the big round one,
you know?

[imitating Richard Nixon]
Murdock for Prez.

Sounds pretty catchy,
if you ask me.

I've already got
a campaign promise.

Two vanilla snookies
on every plate

and two crates
of vanilla snookies
in every garage.

And I'd--

I'd go on radio every week
just like the old FDR,

only,
I'd play the harmonica.

Somebody hold me down.

This fool is fixing to play
his fingers
and I'm gonna snap them off.

One big happy family.

*[playing Harmonica]