All language subtitles for Snakes.on.a.Plane.WEBRip.Netflix.en[cc]

["Lovely Day" playing]

♪ All I see is sunny sky ♪

♪ Every time I look into your eyes ♪

♪ Here we go again, my friend ♪

♪ Staying together till the end ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ Being out in the open air ♪

[girl squeals]

♪ Livin' life like we just don't care ♪

♪ Just doin' what we want to do ♪

♪ Not doin' what we're supposed to ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ We'll just float ♪

♪ On top of the ♪

♪ Clouds that cover ♪

♪ Our skies I say ♪

♪ We'll just float ♪

♪ On top of the ♪

♪ Clouds that cover ♪

♪ Our skies I say ♪

♪ We'll just fly ♪

♪ On top of the ♪

♪ Clouds that cover ♪

♪ Our skies I say ♪

[engine revving]

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day ♪

♪ It's gonna be a lovely day... ♪

[music stops]

[screams]

Go. Get outta here.

Go!

[groaning]

They say the higher you aim...

the farther you fall.

[Hayes] Fuck you, Eddie Kim.

And look at you now, Mr Prosecutor, huh?

Not so high and mighty any more.

[spits]

Well, that's a noble gesture.

I'll make sure to tell your son
all about it.

The reason he gets
to grow up without a father...

is because of how goddamn noble he was!

Then again, I was raised
by a single mom and...

[Hayes screams]

I didn't turn out so bad, huh? Whoo!

[thudding]

Clean this up.

I'm going back to L.A.

[lorry horn honking]

Let's get the hell out of here.

And find that guy!

This is Mi Jung Lee reporting live
from the Kaena Point area.

Details remain sketchy
in the brutal slaying yesterday

of Los Angeles prosecutor Daniel Hayes,
who was vacationing in Hawaii.

Hayes has been in the news lately

for his high-profile pursuit
of reputed mobster Edward Kim.

Mr Kim's representatives
have issued a statement

of condolences to the Hayes family
and claim absolutely no involvement

in what they call
"a hideous act of violence."

The ongoing saga
in the criminal investigation

of Mr Kim involves
charges of murder, racketeering,

and police corruption
at the highest levels,

both here in Hawaii and on the mainland.

[man on TV] Thank you, Mi Jung.

We'll be sure to check in for any updates
as they become available.

[drill whirring]

Do as I say, and you live.

Stay flat against this wall.
Don't even breathe.

[screaming]

Go! Go, go! That way!

Black car! Go!

What the hell is going on?

You witnessed a murder
and didn't tell anybody.

Why didn't you call the police?

The news said they were corrupt,
so I figured they'd be in on it.

Smart kid.

Who are you?

I'm Agent Neville Flynn, FBI.

Pleased to meet you, Sean.

I gotta tell you, Sean,

I'm getting a little tired of
all this garbage you've been feeding me.

We know you were there,
your prints are all over it.

So, stop insulting my intelligence.

You witnessed a murder,
you have a responsibility.

[Flynn clears throat]

Look here, Sean.

I've been doing this for a while,

so I know all kinds
of neat little interrogation tricks.

You know, good cop, bad cop,

reverse psychology,
stare-down contests, threats.

You name it, I've done it.

But why don't we
leapfrog all that bullshit,

save ourselves a lot
of aggravation and time,

of which there is close to zero,

and I tell you the truth?

Truth is, I'm not worried about you
if you testify.

But I am worried about you if you don't.

What if I didn't see him clearly?
I mean, I wouldn't be--

What did I just tell you
about saving us aggravation and time?

He knows who you are!

That's why those people
were at your house trying to kill you.

And make no mistake,
Eddie Kim will kill you...

if you let him.

Last week,
I was planning a surfing trip to Bali.

Now...

Now you make it sound
like I have no choice--

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You got choices.

You got tons of choices,

but there's only one correct choice.

Come with us to L.A.,
testify against his ass,

put him in jail for life.

Tell you what,
you sit here, think about it.

You let us know what you decide.
We'll be outside.

[woman over speakers] The white zone
is for immediate loading

and unloading of passengers only.

So, you got any requests
for your final flight?

Well, just what
any flight attendant wants.

-Low-maintenance passengers.
-Uh-huh.

That would be very nice.

[women squealing]

All right, ladies.

Hey, Troy, Leroy, I got this, all right?
Let me sign 'em for them.

Let me sign 'em for them.
Gimme that marker, son.

How you doing, sweetie?
You all right? There you go.

Huh.

You take care, baby. All right.

-Can I get your autograph?
-You can get a little more than that.

Yeah, no doubt. Let me do this
on the special for you right there.

-Yeah.
-Oh, it tickles.

-Take care, all right.
-All right.

-Will you sign this, please?
-Yeah, no doubt, little man.

Here we go.

-Mmm. There you go.
-Thank you.

-Hey, yo, stay Black.
-Hells, yeah.

All right.

All right, y'all, God bless you.
I gotta get out of here

and catch this flight, all right?
Y'all take care. Catch the next album.

-We can't wait!
-Yeah, all right, no doubt.

All right, look, we gotta make sure
we got some more of this, all right?

-Look at the Howard Hughes of rap.
-What?

What was that?

He said, "Man, can you believe this crap?"

-Man, this is crap right here.
-Hey, yo, come on, y'all.

Y'all messing with T-shirts and hats.

Y'all are supposed to be
watching my back, son.

-Come on.
-You're right, brother, I got you.

[woman over speakers]
Ladies and gentlemen,

South Pacific Air flight 121

-has been delayed half an hour.
-Come on!

We apologise for this inconvenience

and we'll begin boarding
as soon as possible.

Oh, boy. It's gonna be a fun flight.

Five whole hours.

Do you know who's working today?
I didn't get a crew list.

You know, I have no idea.

Oh, my God. Here she comes.
Here she comes!

-Surprise!
-Surprise!

Oh!

Oh, Claire, don't go.

Last thing the world needs
is another lawyer.

I mean, really,
how could you leave all this?

-Oh, it's gonna be hard.
-Will you take me with you?

Please?

Could we ask for Bruno
from Simply Corporate?

Alana, by "we," I mean you.

No, not all drivers are the same.
That's the point.

The last thing I need is
some guy going on and on

about the weather
the whole way home. Get Bruno.

[barks]

Mary Kate, hush.

Sorry, she gets nervous flying.

Oh, that's okay. I understand, you know.

Do you think she'll want some Xanax?

Oh, no, she's okay.

How you feeling?

Yeah, fine.

You ready for this?

Yeah.

Is that our plane?

No, every cop in Honolulu thinks it is.

Hey, come on, relax.

FBI's escorting some guy to L.A.
They just took over all first class.

Are they allowed to do that?

Well, apparently, FAA Section 108 states,

"If deemed necessary,
they can do whatever they want."

Well, who's gonna tell the first class
passengers they're flying coach?

That'd be you, kid. [clicks tongue]

South Pacific Air 121.

Oh, my.

I was hoping
you'd be the sky candy on this flight.

You're looking
especially delicious this evening.

I love it when you demean me, Rick.

My pleasure. I gotta go fly a big plane.

-Hi, doll.
-Hi, there, Rick.

Isn't he smooth?

[scoffs]

Yes, sir. I'm soaking the leis with it.

The pheromone will make
these guys go fucking crazy.

Duke.

[hissing]

Leave it, Duke.

-Ladies.
-Welcome aboard...

"Agent Flynn."

[woman] Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the final boarding call

-for South Pacific Air, flight 121...
-Aloha.

Thank you.

-Aloha.
-No, no, no, the hair.

-Thank you.
-[dog growls]

Aloha!

[dog whimpers]

Unfortunately, first class is overbooked.

But there's plenty of room for you
to stretch out in coach,

which is less than half full.
For the inconvenience,

we are offering you a free travel coupon
good on any South Pacific Air flight.

A free travel coupon won't help me get
to my meeting on time, now, will it?

Sir, I'm pretty sure
that coach gets to Los Angeles

about the same time as first.

Funny.

Does my Premium Rewards membership
come with sarcasm,

or should I speak
to your supervisor, Claire?

This better be a matter
of national security.

Did I just hear there's no first class?

I'm afraid only coach is available.

Coach? Is it safe there?

Yes, it is safe there.

Never flown first class before.

See? Things are looking up already.

So, how long you and Mr Personality
been working together?

Er...

Five years, one blown marriage each.

He's the toughest
son of a bitch I ever met.

Wow.

Yep, that's us. The glamour and the glory.

Flynn,

Captain's patching us
through to Harris for the flight.

[helicopter whirring overhead]

[phone ringing]

Harris, Special Agent Harris.

Harris, so, how's the new promotion?

-I'm loving it.
-That was a little quick.

-Wanna try again?
-No, no, I'm serious, man.

You know, no more junk food hangovers

after all-night stakeouts, you know.

I'm actually spending nights
in bed with my wife.

She's hot. And my kids,
you know, forget about 'em. They're kids.

I'm just spending
every waking minute with them.

You know, they're fun.

Oh, please, this is me you're talking to.

You know you miss it. You miss the action.

You're bored to tears.

So, what are you
actually doing with your time?

-Surfing the Net.
-Porn, no doubt.

No, hey, eBay, my cynical-minded friend.

I'm right in the middle of a bidding war
with this punk-ass kid from Iowa

for this black velvet
Pamela Anderson poster.

Not technically porn.

So, how's Eddie Kim doing?

You ain't gotta worry about him.
He ain't going anywhere.

No, I got three teams on him,
so he's not gonna move.

All right, I'll see you on the other side.

[men grunting]

Are you sure about this?

Accidents happen.

You think I didn't exhaust
every other option?

He saw me!

You're gonna be right down
this aisle to the left.

-Thank you.
-Oh, look at the little baby.

-He's beautiful.
-Thank you.

[barking]

-Oh, beautiful.
-Cheese.

First, they stick me in coach
and then they put

-a freaking dog next to me.
-[gasps]

What the hell is next?

Oh, you're adorable.

Okay.

[rattling]

Oh, great. Just great.

Is there a problem, mister?

Gee, what do you think?

Will you at least
get that vermin to shut up?

Don't worry, Mary Kate.
His hair plugs can't hurt you.

Fucking dog, fucking coach,
fucking Americans!

Hi.

Oh, I'm really sorry about first class.
Let me see if I can help--

Oh, sweetheart. Could you let her know
not to touch me, son?

Oh, please, don't touch the man.

Man don't like to be touched.
We'll find our own seats.

Sorry. Here's some coupons.

-You all right, man?
-Yeah, I'm all right, man.

[beeps]

All right.

Coach ain't looking so bad after all.

Bad boy.

[Three G's] Hey, yo,
check it. Check it out.

You like that.

Baby got back, front and side-to-side.

Hey, y'all two get together,
y'all might have,

like, two 20-pound babies or something.

[laughing]

Dad, why can't you come with us?

Come on, you're gonna be fine.
Bet you're even gonna have fun.

-He's just being a baby.
-Curtis.

I'm counting on you to be a man.
Now, what does a man do?

-He looks out for his family.
-That's right.

-Sir.
-Oh, sorry.

My wife is meeting them in L.A.
It's their first time flying solo.

That's okay. Hey.

-Can I tell you a secret?
-What?

-Guess who's on the plane?
-Who?

Three G's.

-For real?
-I bet you could meet him.

Come on, Tommy, let's go.

Huh.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we would like to welcome you
to South Pacific Airlines flight 121

non-stop service
from Honolulu to Los Angeles.

At this time,
I would like your full attention

as the flight attendants demonstrate

the safety features of this aircraft.

When the seat belt sign illuminates,
you must fasten your seat belt.

There are several
emergency exits on the aircraft,

located in the forward section,
aft section and over each wing.

In the event of decompression,

an oxygen mask will automatically drop
from a compartment above your seat.

To start the flow of oxygen,

pull the mask towards you, place it firmly
over your nose and mouth,

secure the elastic band behind
your head, and breathe normally.

A lifejacket is located in a pouch
under your seat.

This is how you put it on.

Slip it over your head,
pass the straps around your waist,

and adjust loosely at the front.

Tampering with, disabling
or destroying the smoke detectors

located in the lavatories
is prohibited by law.

We wish you an enjoyable flight.

[Rick] Radar indicates
a bit of weather up ahead.

We might catch a few bumps in the road,

but we'll be above most of it.
If you need anything at all,

you just holler at one
of those gorgeous flight attendants

and they'll take good care of y'all.
Thank you.

Good evening.

[Sean] Thank you.

I'm Tiffany.

Hi, Tiffany. I'm Sean.

So, mind if I...

ask what you did?

Oh, me? Nothing.

It's what I'm supposed to do.

Uh... Ever heard of Eddie Kim?

Oh, who hasn't?

Ooh, I was watching one
of those crime shows once,

you know, with the hokey re-enactments,

where he tortured this guy
who was a witness against him

by gouging out his eyes
and then feeding him to some pigs.

Pretty gruesome stuff.

Yeah, he doesn't mess around, that guy.

So, erm, what do you...
what do you have to--

Erm, I'm a witness for the prosecution.

-Wow.
-Yeah.

That is so...

hot.

[beeping]

I'm gonna miss these night flights.

I enjoy the passengers so much better
when they're unconscious.

[Claire chuckles]

And you, I'm gonna miss you.

-Oh, excuse me.
-Yes.

-Can I get a gin and tonic?
-I'll be right back with that.

Thanks.

[inhales]

Wow.

[clears throat]

In Hawaii for vacation?

Not really. I was there for
the, er, kickboxing tournament.

Oh, my God. You're a kickboxer?

Me too.

Well, I take a kickboxing class
with Lonnie, Malibu Fitness.

-Awesome cardio.
-Good for you.

My girlfriend and I
go Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Yeah, girlfriend. Right.

Wait, wait. Watch this.

-Come on, take it easy, buddy. You okay?
-[groans]

Son of a--

-Yeah, yeah.
-[man] You all right, dude?

Hey, will you look around?
Look around the plane.

How come there aren't
more people on this flight?

I can't figure it out.

Honey, 'cause it's the red-eye.

Okay, okay.

-I'm sorry, sweetie.
-No, I accept... I accept that.

If you hated flying this much,

why did you let me pick Hawaii
for our honeymoon?

'Cause that's where you wanted to go.

[beeping]

-[man] Thanks.
-[Tiffany] You're welcome.

-Bali, huh?
-What?

You said earlier you wanted to go to Bali.

It's a very beautiful place.
I've been there.

You surf? You don't look like a surfer.

-No disrespect.
-Hey, none taken.

And I did try it. I figure,
why spend all my time in the ocean

when I could lay on the beach
and admire all the beauties,

-you know what I mean?
-Yeah.

-Couldn't stay on your board, could you?
-No. Fell off every time.

Got me.

Can I help you?

Er, no, I'm just stretching my legs.

Big plane, plenty of places to do it.

Plenty of other places to do it, you mean.

I do something wrong here?

Technically, no.

But maybe next time,
you people could give us a little heads up

before you commandeer the plane.

You people?

No, no, no, no. I--

Hey, hey, don't stress it. Just joking.

So, can I get you something, or...

No, I'm cool. Just pretend I'm not here.

Okay.

[rap music plays softly]

[Three G's] Psst-psst.

Psst.

[dog whines]

-Hi.
-What's up?

This is Mary Kate.

-Yes, that's nice.
-And I'm Mercedes.

You know, like the car.
Vroom, vroom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah.
-She likes you.

-Yeah, that's cool.
-Say hi.

-You are...
-Oh, come on now.

Yeah, I'm...

-Trying to steal my dog?
-Believe me, I don't want the dog.

I'm kidding. I know who you are.

-Yeah, I know you know who I am.
-Three G's.

All right, all right, "Booty Go Thump."

-Yeah, my booty went thump.
-Yeah, I know that's right.

That's tight. That's tight.

Yeah, your dog, the dog.
No, that's good. It's cool.

-Yeah, I love...
-Little kiss.

Yeah, I love dogs.

[beeping]

[cat yowls]

-Hi.
-Aloha.

Here.

-Come on, come out.
-Hurry.

[grunts]

You see, at the end of the day,
the music business is still a business.

[man sneezing]

-[exhales]
-You okay?

I-I'm good. As I was saying,

see, I'm all about taking the music
and the business to the next level.

You know what I'm saying?
That's when evolution becomes revolution.

[Kelly giggles]

Here, babe.

Screw it.

[kissing]

[moaning]

[Kelly moaning]

Harder.

[screaming]

[grunting]

[muffled screaming]

Mile-High Club.

Those were the days.

Oh.

This guy is really good.

Well, maybe not that good.

[electricity crackling]

-[beeping]
-We just lost avionics.

[thunder crashing]

Notify LAX.

LAX, Hula 1-2-1,

mayday, mayday, mayday.

We are 1,500 nautical miles
southwest of Los Angeles.

Repeat, mayday, we have lost avionics.

Hula 1-2-1, heavy, Los Angeles tower.

We acknowledge your emergency.
You have priority.

All right, give me the manual.
Take control.

I have control.

I'll be back.

How's my big boy?

Ah! Fuck!

[screams]

Fucking bitch! Get off my dick!

Fuck!

Fuck.

[snoring]

'Cause keeping your sexy right
is part of the business, too.

And if you don't mind me saying,

it looks like you keep
your sexy very, very right.

-[Mercedes] Well, thank you.
-[barking]

[Three G's] Have you ever acted before?

No.

'Cause I would love to put you
in one of my pool-party videos.

-Oh, yeah?
-Throw a little thong on you--

-Excuse me, she just wants a treat.
-All right.

I can never find anything in here.

Her doctor says she's bipolar.

[screams]

I almost beat the last level.

Hey, man, you playing
that damn video game,

or was that video game playing you, son?

-Damn!
-Found them.

[chuckling]

[moaning]

Ooh!

[thunder crashing]

[objects clatter]

Sir, I can assure you,
there's no strange smell.

Maybe you're allergic to the leis.

Let me take them for you.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you, miss.

Any idea how long
this turbulence will last?

No, I'm okay.

I'm gonna go and ask the pilot.

[alarm beeping]

[Captain] Shit, Rick, we got smoke.

Something probably arced in the avionics.

[knocking]

How much longer do you think
before we climb... What happened?

We lost the board.

I gotta reset the breakers.

-Keep her steady, Rick.
-[Rick] All right.

Okay, Cap, they're coming back!

[beeping continues]

That's it, old man,
we're back in business--

Captain!

-Rick!
-What is it?

Something's happened to the Captain!

All right. Coming.

Oh, Christ.

-Did you... Did you see what happened?
-[Claire] No.

Captain?

I think he's had a heart attack.

Agent Flynn, Agent Sanders,
can I see you for a moment, please?

[thunder crashing]

I flew with that man for ten years.

Let's go back.

We're halfway. It'd take longer
to get back to Honolulu

than keep going to L.A.

Make sure everybody's strapped in.

LAX tower, this is Hula 1-2-1,
mayday, mayday, mayday,

pilot in command
has suffered a fatal heart attack.

[Claire] Ladies and gentlemen,
the Captain requests that

you remain in your seats

with your seat belts fastened. Thank you.

[baby crying]

Shh. Shh.

[dog whimpering]

[thunder continues rumbling]

Hi, how are you doing?

Think of it like a roller coaster ride.
Do you like roller coaster rides?

No, not really.

No, me neither. They always make me sick.

Okay. Here's what we're gonna do.

You are gonna close your eyes,
and count very slowly to ten.

And when you open your eyes,

you make the funniest face
you can at each other.

And whoever laughs first, loses.

Okay? Best out of five wins.

And I will be back to check on the winner.

[both] One, two, three...

-Sir, seat belt, please.
-Yeah. Great.

Thank you.

[thunder crashes]

-[man exclaims]
-[woman] Oh, my God! Oh!

What the...

[grunting]

What the hell?

[screaming]

[screams]

[yells] Oh!

[exclaims fearfully]

-Oh, shit!
-What the fuck?

I'll go.

[snakes hissing]

[Sanders] Oh, shit.

[screaming]

Fuck!

What the hell? It's snakes!

[screaming]

Rick, what's up with
the oxygen masks deploying?

Sorry about that.

You're not gonna believe what came out
of the goddamn instrument panel.

What?

Look at this.

Goddamn snake, honey!

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

John! Stay up here!

Flynn!

I've got...

Ophidiophobia. Fear of snakes.

Stay! Mary Kate, sit!

Bad girl. Bad, bad girl.

Come to the front,
there aren't any snakes here! It's safe!

[screaming]

Everybody, move forward!

Cautiously!

[screaming]

[Curtis] Come here.

[screaming]

[both gasp]

[hissing]

[screams]

Get out of my way! Get out of the way!

-Ah!
-Son of a bitch!

[screaming]

Out of the way, grandma!

[screaming]

What the... fuck!

Oh, God, help!

[screaming]

[woman screaming]

Help!

Move!

[baby crying]

Go, go!

Oh, fuck me!

Okay, okay. Fuck, fuck.

Shit, shit!

Who's your daddy now, bitch?

[screaming]

Man, you guys are supposed
to be watching my back!

Front, come on. We gotta get to the front!

Grab a tray table!

[grunting]

Smash that!

Little bitch! Come on!

-Move!
-[screaming]

Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!

[groans] Get this fucking snake
off my ass!

Oh, snap. You got a snake on your ass!
Yo, hold still!

-Get it off!
-Get him out! Get him out!

-Get him out of here!
-Come on, man!

Keep moving! Keep moving!

[screaming]

Everybody, listen!

We have to put a barrier between us
and the snakes!

Grab everything from the overheads,
under the seats,

and let's build a wall. Let's go!

[indistinct shouting]

[snakes hissing]

-Ken! Do this.
-Okay.

[screaming]

[dog barking]

Help me!

Please help me!

-[snakes hissing]
-[screaming]

I'm gonna put you on my back.

We'll move towards the front.

-No, I can't. No, I can't.
-Here we go! Come on.

Let's go. Yes, you can.
You can do it, come on, up!

-Here we go. Here we go.
-Mary Kate!

I got it. Here we go.

[crying]

I need everyone to close
any compartment that's open!

Just close them!

-[man 1] I can't reach.
-[man 2] I got it.

Let me get it.

[gasps]

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,
it's only me. What's up?

-I can't find those two little boys.
-Little boys?

Tommy and Curtis, they were by themselves.

-Hey!
-Mister, my brother, he got bit.

I was supposed to take care of him.

You are taking care of him, sweetheart.
You're taking care of him right now.

-Is he gonna die?
-No, honey.

But you have to be brave
for him now, okay? Okay, sweetheart.

[baby crying]

Ah.

[gasps]

[speaking in Spanish]

Are you okay?

[speaking in Spanish]

My baby! Where is my baby!

[rattling]

Oh, Lord.

[groans]

-Oh, my baby!
-Here you go.

-Go, go, go, go!
-Thank you!

Hurry!

Grace, Grace. Come on! Come on!

Come through! Hurry, hurry!

[Grace] Help! I need help!

Oh, my God, Grace.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

-Let me, let me. I got her.
-Oh, my God.

I have to go and tell Rick.

Go, go, go!

[Ken] Grab the first-aid kit!

Grace, hey, hey.

Here's some water.
Come on, man, you got to drink water.

Breathe, breathe.

We missed the bastards
because they were cold-blooded.

[Flynn] Come on, come on.

John, John, listen to me, you're okay.

Just take a deep breath, John,
you're having a panic attack.

Shit.

You've gotta be kidding me!

Good luck.

John?

Son of a--

Hey, hey, hey,
we have to figure something out.

All right. Well, I know what I gotta do.

We're in a 200-foot aluminium tube
and we're 30,000 feet in the air.

And any one of those slimy
little pieces of shit

can trip a circuit
or a relay or a hydraulic,

and this bird goes down
faster than a Thai hooker.

So, my job is to keep LAX informed
on how totally screwed we are,

and then find some way to keep this mother
in the sky another two hours.

Figure that out.

-Hey, where you going?
-I have to go down.

I have to help the passengers.

Now, there's supposed
to be a doctor aboard.

A Dr Robert Foster. Robert Foster!

Wait, here he is.
Here he is. Dr Robert Foster,

row 11, seat H.

-[snakes hissing]
-[gasps]

Yeah, Harris.

Erm, Sanders is dead.

You know all those goddamn security
scenarios we ran?

I'm smack in the middle
of one we didn't think of.

What the hell you talking about?

Eddie Kim somehow managed
to fill the plane with poisonous snakes.

Wait, hold on.
What kind of insane plan is that?

He can't possibly guarantee
that the snakes are gonna get to Sean.

Yeah, he doesn't have to guarantee it
if he brings the whole plane down.

All right, listen up.
Everybody, listen up.

I want a crisis team at LAX, ASAP.

And I need the cargo manifest
for every scrap of freight

on South Pacific Air 121.

I can't believe I'm saying this.

I need the best poisonous snake
expert in this time zone.

And I need him in my ear or at my side
in 20 minutes or less.

Well, come on, people, let's go!
Somebody make that happen for me!

Hey, tell surveillance,
don't let Eddie Kim out of their sight.

All right, we have to suck out the poison.

-Man, I ain't sucking nothing.
-Okay, I'll do it.

What? Oh, there'll be no sucking.

Man, Troy, get this man away from my ass!

-Are you sure?
-Yeah, we sure. Thanks, pal.

Okay, sweetheart, it's gonna be okay.

Oh, my God!

Hold my baby, please. Forget about that.

Do you have any olive oil on the plane?

-Olive oil? Olive oil.
-Yeah.

-I'm on it.
-Yeah, in a cup!

Okay.

When I was a kid, whenever we went hiking,

we always carried olive oil
and a razor blade in case of a snake bite.

I need something to cut.

Here you go.

Okay, this will work, yeah.

[whimpering]

Okay, oil. So, you swish it in your mouth
to seal it from the poison.

-Look at Claire, Tommy.
-Look at me, sweetie.

It's gonna hurt a little bit, okay?

-Okay, now.
-It hurts.

-[Tommy screams]
-[Claire] You're so brave.

[Maria] Yeah,
it's gonna be all right, Tommy.

Ah! Ah!

That's what I'm talking about.

-Good, boy.
-Yeah, I think I got it all.

It's gonna be okay, Tommy.
You're very, very brave.

Ow, I got... I got bit, too.

-Flynn, what the hell--
-Just sit tight.

I can't. I--

Do you remember the first thing
I ever said to you?

Yes.

So, what was the first thing
I ever said to you?

I know, but things have changed.

[shouts] What was the first thing
I said to you?

Things have changed!
You have a whole plane full of...

God! "Do as I say, you live."

Nothing's changed.

Now, I need you to stay up here
by the air phone.

When Agent Harris calls,
you come and get me.

You got it?

Yeah. Got it.

[Ken] Hey, hey, hey! They're getting
through the luggage, here, seriously.

I need some help!

Fire extinguisher!

-Ken!
-Agent Flynn here.

Weapons. We have to have weapons.
Where's the silverware?

We don't have any silverware.

All we have is this.

-Sporks?
-Yeah.

Here.

Use that.

His name is Dr Steven Price.

He's some kind of
hardcore snake specialist.

And customs uses him as their go-to guy
for any animal smuggling cases.

-The go-to guy?
-Yeah. So he must be good.

Dr Price?

-It is I.
-Hank Harris.

I'm hoping this is important,
I've got baby Antiguan racer eggs

in there ready to hatch.
It's the first time ever in captivity.

-Really?
-It's very exciting.

Wow. I got another exciting first
I'd like to tell you about.

I need another! Help, somebody!

Come on! Help me out here!

-Please, I can't do this!
-Hold on, I'm coming!

[Ken] Come on! Somebody get me
another fire extinguisher!

All right, we... We got less
than 90 minutes.

We've already lost over 50 people
and that's including an FBI agent.

Okay.

Look, we've already contacted local ERs.

Oh, local ERs.

Er, I don't think
you understand the magnitude

of what you're dealing with here.

L.A. County ERs can, at best,
handle the occasional snake bite.

Not an entire 747 full of them.

I'm going to contact
the National Poison Control Centre

to have them alert every ER
in the tri-county area,

and to order every available
helicopter crew to be ready.

We've got less than
two hours to mobilise an entire army.

Flynn, Flynn!

Hey, they got a snake guy on the phone.

Who the hell is that?

[Sean] His name is Dr Price.

Look, Doc, people are dying up here.
We need help fast.

Okay, just break open any blisters
that form around the bites.

-Keep them clean.
-We're doing that.

It doesn't seem to be doing much good.

Snakes don't attack
unless they're provoked, right?

Something up there
is making them go crazy.

Yeah, no shit.

They're attacking everybody
and everything up here.

They're especially fond
of those fucking leis.

Leis? Jesus, I don't know...

Er, it could possibly be a pheromone.

That's what female animals release
to trigger mating behaviour.

It could also provoke
serious hyper aggression

like some kind of drug.

Well, that's good news. Snakes on crack.

How could you imbeciles
let somebody put snakes--

-We need to turn this plane around.
-I don't want to die.

-We need to get them to a hospital.
-We're almost to L.A. now.

Can I help with that?

Know what they call that?
The point of no return.

So, this is it? That's what the plan is?

We sit around here
waiting for the snakes to bite us?

Look, everyone just calm down, please!
We're doing the best we can here.

Okay, look, there are hundreds
of species of snakes

with hundreds of cocktails of venom.

Some will kill you in two minutes,
others in two hours,

and some you can actually cure
with a good night's rest.

But here's the thing.

If you administer the wrong anti-venom,
that will kill you.

I am not a zoologist, man.

I can identify maybe
two of the snakes I've seen up here.

A cobra and a rattlesnake, okay?

You're going to have to be more...
much more specific than that.

Oh, shit.

Erm, look... Erm...

I'll round up all the dead ones I can find
and I'll call you back, okay?

Make it fast. Time is tissue.

Time is...

I want to know what's going on.

-Get out of the way!
-No, no! No!

You guys are not supposed to go up there.

-Move, girl!
-You can't take the stairs!

[indistinct clamouring]

[man] You can't keep us down there.

Why exactly are there
snakes on this plane?

-I don't have time to explain.
-Well, you better make time.

You put us at risk
and you're gonna tell us why.

What I'm gonna tell you
is to go back downstairs now.

Man, who the hell you think you are?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, look.

The snakes are on the plane because

I'm supposed to testify
tomorrow against Eddie Kim.

Jesus Christ, we're all dead.

Not me.

It's my job to handle life-and-death
situations on a daily basis.

It's what I do, and I'm very good at it.

Now, you can stand there
and be the panicked, angry mob

and blame him, me, and the government
for getting you into this.

But if you want to survive tonight,

you need to save your energy
and start working together.

Now, what we need to do

is go back in there
and find all the dead snakes we can,

so the doctors on the ground will know
what kind of anti-venoms we need.

Whatever you find, you bring it to me.

And I don't need to tell you
to be careful.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where you going?

I'm going with them.
I can't just sit here doing nothing.

Remember when you said,
it's all about choices we make?

Well, I'm making one.
Don't treat me like a prisoner!

I need you to stay up here.

Why?

Because if you die...

then all this was for nothing.

Sit your ass down.

[man] We got a snake, man.

[grunting]

[screaming]

Okay, Doc, I got one here that's...

I guess, brownish on top,
and I'd say green on the bottom.

Wait a second, pure green? Or is it blue?

Erm, well, if I had to guess,
I'd say green.

No, no, no, teal.
It's a deep shade of teal.

It's teal, Doc.

Why don't we just take a picture?

Oh, sure, let's drop it off at Jiffy Photo
when we land, Einstein.

Ever heard of e-mail, dick-wad?

All we need is a digital camera
and a computer.

Or this. It's got both.

Doc, I'm gonna e-mail you
some pictures, all right?

Rick!

Rick?

Rick!

Rick!

Ah!

Oh, God.

[snake hissing]

Are we landing?

-There are no lights down there.
-I don't think so.

Doc, photos are coming to you now.

[screaming]

Everybody, buckle up now! Now!

Oh, my God, no!

[indistinct clamouring]

[man] Come on, buckle up. I got you.

[woman] Oh, my God!

[snake hissing]

[grunts]

Fucker!

Okay, let's pull this thing up.

[man on radio] Hula 1-2-1 heavy,
you're descending through 23,000 feet.

[Flynn] There's no time to strap in,
just pull up, pull hard!

Somebody help me!
Somebody help, they're coming through.

Tiffany! Tiffany!

Look out!

-You okay?
-Yeah.

-[yelps]
-[snakes hissing]

We gotta get the people upstairs.
It's safer there!

[screaming]

Somebody help me!

Kill them!

-[man on radio] Hula 1-2-1, heavy...
-[straining]

...you're now below 19,000 feet.
Do you copy?

It's not working!

-I wanna get out.
-I'll get you out.

Get upstairs, come on!

Go!

Go, go, go, go!

Hula 1-2-1, heavy, pull up. Pull up!

[screaming]

[snakes hissing]

-[woman] Out of the way!
-[man] Move your ass, God damn it!

[screaming]

Go, go!

No.

[screaming]

Come on, quicker!

-Come on!
-Move it!

[Tiffany] Hurry!

[man] Hang on to me. I've got you!

[screaming]

[man] Get me off this plane!

Come on!

[screaming]

[man] You're blocking it!

Go, quick!

[screaming]

[groans]

[groans]

Oh, shit!

Mary Kate!

You animal!

-You animal! I hate you!
-Freakin' dog, lady.

-I hate you!
-[man] Why did you do that?

What? You all would have
done exactly the same thing!

[woman] Somebody do something.

Look out! Oh, my God!

[groaning]

[woman] Come on!

Let's go. Hey, hey!

-Behind you.
-Come on!

[screaming]

Pull, pull, pull! Get him up!
Get him up!

We gotta block the stairs.
Grab bags, everyone.

-Come on!
-Pass it down!

[indistinct radio chatter]

Get me NTSB.

And call the Coast Guard.

Ahh!

[man on radio] Hula 1-2-1, heavy,
you are now below 1,000 feet. Pull up.

Pull up!

[both screaming]

[gasps]

Oh, my God.

[man] Holy fuck!

Oh, thank God.

[panting]

Wait a second. What about the life raft?

-Here, use this!
-Good idea.

I got it!

Don't let those things get through!

Come on.

Hello, can anybody hear me?

Hula 1-2-1, heavy,

somebody wanna tell me
what's going on up there?

We've lost our--

[Rick groaning]

Rick.

[snakes hissing]

[man 1] It's not fully inflated yet!

[man 2] Hold, hold, push!

Here, grab an end!

Oh, Rick.

[Rick groaning]

[woman screaming]

Hold it, hold it down. Push it down.

That's great, okay. Get it down.
There you go. There you go.

There you go! You got it!

Oh, Rick, your arm.

Okay.

There you go.

Oh, yeah, you know, Claire,

I think I'm gonna need your shirt, too.

-Oh, jeez. Very funny.
-[Rick] Gotta try, right?

Er, Rick, could you please
engage the autopilot?

Yeah, here, I got it.

[grunts]

Do you think you can fly with one hand?

Baby, you'd be amazed at
what a man can do with one hand.

All right, I got this. You go get it.
Do your business.

[clattering]

[passengers moaning, murmuring]

We... We had no choice.
The snakes were everywhere.

Yeah, okay,
I guess you did what you had to do.

Yeah.

These aren't North American snakes.

[Harris] So what? What does it matter?
Let's just get the anti-venom

-and take it to the airport.
-No, no, no, these snakes

aren't even from this continent.
They're from all over the globe.

Only a handful of US hospitals
even carry foreign anti-venom.

[sighs]

-How long?
-How long what?

-How long to get the anti-venom here?
-I don't know.

At least a day, maybe two.

What do we do?

I don't know
if there's anything we can do.

What are you drawing there, sweetie?

Oh, wow.

That's really good.

I'm... I'm really sorry about your dog.

Thanks.

What's up, buddy?

Trying to get this guy to slam
the basketball. He just won't do it.

[voice falters]
Last month, they offered early retirement.

But no,

this broad needed one more tour of duty.

You were here for a reason.

You saved my baby.

That's a pretty good reason.

Hey, it's too... Flynn, it's too hot.

I'm from Tennessee. I hadn't noticed.

Anyway, heat's the least of our worries.

No, listen, listen.
The air's not recycling.

He's right.

If there's no air conditioning,
it's gonna get too hard to breathe.

Oh, shit!

Okay, how about the zoos?

How about the zoos?
Zoos got snakes, right?

So, they must have anti-venom there.

We would need a detailed list
of every species involved,

with that exact number.

And an exotic shipment like this would
only come through a dealer. So...

All right, who in Hawaii would do that?

And no one in Hawaii, because
snakes aren't indigenous to Hawaii.

But Eddie Kim lives in L.A.

Could he have shopped locally?

Yes.

Only one guy could arrange
this many illegal snakes.

He lives out in the desert.

Take us to the heliport.

You don't think I know
it's hotter than hell in here?

We also have abnormal
vibrations in engines one and two.

I had no choice but to throttle back.

-You slowed down?
-[Rick] Yeah. Well, you know.

-It's that, or option "B."
-Which is?

I go faster and the engines seize up,

an we eventually plummet
to a horrible death.

They spend the next year
identifying femurs.

Okay, so just tell me
how to get the AC back on.

We've lost power
to the outflow valve motor.

-Which is where?
-Well, you gotta reset it manually.

The breaker's down in the cargo hold.

Yeah.

Sucks to be you right now.

[coughing]

Get off me, man!

I told y'all stop touching on me
and coughing on me.

It's disgusting up in here.
Stay away from me.

Yo, how come there's no air coming
out of this piece of junk?

How come there's no air
coming out of here?

Only lasts about ten minutes after
they deploy. Now please, I need--

Please, nothing. Get out of my face, man.

-If you could please just take a seat.
-Back away from me, man.

-You sit down. Back away from me.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Back away from me.
Get up off me, man. Back up off me.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I gotta get off this plane, man.

-I'm sick of this bullshit.
-Listen, brother, you got to chill.

-Look, just get a grip, all right?
-You get a grip, man.

You get--

Hey, back up! Back up! Back up!

That gun goes off
in this pressurised cabin, we all die.

Well, you know what? I want some air.

-What's the matter with you, Clarence?
-What's the matter with you?

No, what's the matter with you, man?

Hey, look, you know we go back to
when we were kids, all right?

But I don't even recognise you right now,

waving a gun at all these
innocent women and children.

Man, there's a baby right over there, man.

We're all in trouble here, dawg.
This ain't just about you.

Sit your ass down, Clarence.

Whatever, man.

[man] It's the snakes!

Shoot. Now what?

[baby crying]

Breathe deep.

[crying]

[Tiffany] Oh, God, Grace.

[Tiffany sobbing]

[Claire sobbing]

Claire.

Claire.

I need you to be strong.

Come on.

-Let's go get these people some air.
-Okay.

[hissing]

See this?

I went through
a pyromaniac phase as a kid.

-Here.
-You too, huh?

Anything else I should know about you?

Let me go with you. You don't know
your way around down there.

No, I need you up here.
You're my eyes and ears.

Call me.

Be back soon as I can.

You'd better. Be careful.

Okay, I'm here.

Okay, the EAP panel
should be on your right.

Okay, here I go.

[rattling]

[panting]

Hey, how's your boy?

I don't know, man. He's in a lot of pain.

-Here, man, take some of this water.
-Thank you.

-Hey.
-Hey.

-Hey, you got any water?
-Sure, yeah.

Thanks.

Look, I'm not really good
at this whole apologising thing,

but, er, I'm sorry about pushing you.

It's all right.

You too, man. That's... that's my bad.

Okay, it's okay.

Oh.

Looks like somebody rigged this, er,

access panel door to stay open
so the snakes could get out.

[Claire] Be careful.

All right, so, where's this outflow
breaker panel you were talking about?

Oh, it's in the very next compartment.

Shit!

-What's going on?
-The goddamn lever's stuck.

Ooh! Hey!

[screeching]

Flynn, are you okay?

Yeah.

-[man] Oh.
-[woman] Yes!

Okay, that's a good sign.

Shh.

Do you guys hear that?

[grunting]

[hissing]

[Price]
Kraitler's been busted twice by customs

for possession of illegal snakes.
There he is! That's him!

Down, down!

Get the door.

-What are you doing?
-My job!

[gunshot]

Area's secure. Send in Dr Price now.

[groaning]

Wow.

That's gonna leave a mark.

That's a...
That's a desert black snake.

That's indigenous to the Middle East.

-Looks like you can use some anti-venom.
-In the fridge.

-Hurry!
-Hurry.

The Middle East.
Correct me if I'm wrong, Dr Price,

but that would make
that snake illegal, wouldn't it?

[Price] Yes, yes, it would.

How long does that give
Mr Mullet here to live?

Er, I would say about seven minutes.

Seven minutes? All right, listen to me.

Hey, I would love to do this whole dance,

take a nuanced approach
to interrogating you,

but the truth of it is,
I don't have time to be subtle.

I want a list of every snake
on that plane.

You got less than seven minutes.

On the clipboard.

-The clipboard!
-Hang on to that.

-Is that every snake on that plane?
-Yes.

-Did Eddie Kim pay you to do this?
-Yes!

Look, give me the shot, God damn it.

What are you gonna do, call the ACLU?

How'd you get these guys
to be so aggressive,

that's what I'm wondering.

-I don't know what you're talking about.
-Hey.

You're wasting it!

Pheromones. We sprayed
the flowers with it,

so it would circulate
in the plane's air system.

I swear to God! That's it!

All right.

Bring in Eddie Kim. Charge him
with multiple counts of murder

and attempted murder and get that
piece-of-shit attorney on the phone.

Yeah, tell him to ask Kim
what his preference is,

gas or lethal injection.

Oh, thank God.

Flynn, it's Harris.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Yeah.

Outstanding. All right.

Everybody, listen,
they have the anti-venom.

It's gonna be waiting
for us when we land in L.A.

Hear that, little man?
Your brother's gonna be fine.

It's all up to the pilot now.

I'll go give him the good news.

Rick.

Rick.

Rick, open the door.

[Flynn] What's going on?

He's not answering.

Rick!

[Claire] Oh, my God!

-[hissing]
-[Flynn] Get him up!

Er...

I can't believe I'm gonna say this.

Is there anyone here
who knows how to fly a plane?

Claire, Claire, I'll do it.

I'm sure the tower can talk me through it.

No, no, no, Flynn.
I know who could land this plane.

-Who?
-Him.

Yeah, you. Come on, Troy.

You know you can do this, man.

Come on, take us home, dawg.

You know how to fly?

I mean, I got over 2,000 hours.

[Three G's]
This is all you've talked about.

Troy, you can do this.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can do this.

We gotta clear the snakes
out of the cockpit.

Yeah, clear the snakes
out of the cockpit, yeah.

[Flynn] Enough is enough!

I have had it with these
motherfucking snakes

on this motherfucking plane!

Everybody strap in!

I'm about to open some fucking windows!

Take this. Tie it to the cockpit door.

Let's go.

Listen, when the windows go out,

the cabin's gonna lose
pressure and oxygen.

You gotta get us down as fast as you can.

All right, everybody make sure

you're strapped in
as securely as possible.

Remember, it's going to be loud,
and it's going to be cold.

Hold your breath
as long as you can, all right?

And protect your head. Use your arms.

Is everybody ready?

-Ready to do this?
-Let's do it.

All right, take the position.

One, two,

three!

[wind whooshing]

[screaming]

Do it, now!

[screaming]

Let's go!

[indistinct radio chatter]

Hit that autopilot switch for me.

Whoo!

That's what I'm talking about, boy!
This shit is bananas!

[screaming]

[screaming]

Hold on! Hold on!

Come on, baby!

[beeping]

Come on, push.

[screaming]

Yeah, right about there.

Okay, we're levelling out.

You okay?

Troy, the plane's not level.
It's not level!

Yeah, I know that the plane
is not level, Okay? Okay?

Gimme a break, man.

All right, what's up? What's up, y'all?

What it is. What it is!

This is your new pilot Troy speaking,
and sitting next to me,

is my main man,
my brother from another mother,

the biggest pimp that I know,
Superfly Agent Flynn,

ladies and gentlemen, Agent Flynn.

Sir, have you got any experience
piloting a jet aircraft?

Oh, yeah, F-15s, F-16s,

A-10 Warthogs, I've flown all that shit.

[man on radio] Then we're all thankful
to have you, sir.

-What squadron were you with?
-Er, the Awesome Fighting Aces.

Man, I'm telling you, them video gamers
got their shit locked down tight.

Sir, are you telling me

that your only real flight time is
at the controls of a video game?

No, see, it's not a video game, all right?
It's a flight simulator.

-Is that a PlayStation or Xbox?
-[Troy] PlayStation 2.

Man, it's got an introduction
by Chuck Yeager and everything.

Look, Flynn, man, I can do this.

Trust me.

Look, LAX, just give me my VOR numbers
and my approach vectors, and I'll be fine.

Sir, I suggest you relinquish
the pilot's chair

to someone more experienced.

This is Agent Neville Flynn, FBI.

You are talking to the only person
up here who has that experience.

I suggest you give him what he needs
so we can land this thing.

Oh.

Oh.

So, you are
pretty good at this game, right?

Yes, man. No problem.

I mean, my older brother, Randy,
has got the high score,

but I'm good.

Asshole never lets me hear the end of it.

LAX tower, this is Hula 1-2-1.

Requesting clearance for landing.
Please advise which runway.

[man on radio] Hula 1-2-1, heavy,

we're in the process
of clearing all the runways,

but you got a strong tailwind.
Advise, come around

and use runway 2-4-left.

No, no, no, negative, tower.
I can't do that.

I don't have time
for westbound orientation.

Look, I got a lot
of injured passengers up here

who need help immediately.

You try to land west to east,
you'll come in too fast to control.

Well, then I suggest you speed up
clearing the rest of the runways,

'cause my ass is coming in for a landing!

All right, brace yourselves,
you guys, this is it.

Everybody brace yourselves!

Here we go.

Brakes! Brakes, Troy!

-Put your ass in it!
-This part ain't in the game.

Is crashing part of the game, huh?

I don't know, man. I usually just
hit reset, and start the level over.

Oh, shit, left!

Left! Turn this big
motherfucker left, Troy!

[Flynn] Whoo!

[sighs]

[passengers talking indistinctly]

[both whooping]

All praises to the PlayStation.

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

That's my boy, Troy, yes!

Hell, yeah!

Whose house is this?
Troy's house, that's right!

Fuck Randy! Fuck Randy and his high score.

That's my own brother,
and I say, "Fuck him!"

[siren wailing]

[horn blaring]

Man, my ass.

My ass, man.

My last flight ever.

[sirens wailing]

[man] Over here! Got them!

Okay, everybody.

Thank you!

Hey, Doc, thank you.

And good luck with those Antiguan racers.

It was nice working with you, Agent.

Please help! Help, please!

-This boy is unconscious.
-Keep that close, all right?

He needs oxygen right away.

Did anyone see the snake
that bit this boy?

-Show 'em, sweetie. It's okay.
-What is it?

I couldn't find the snake
that bit him, so, I drew a picture.

It's a cobra, right, like Indiana Jones?

That's excellent.
Lactated Ringer's solution, 25ml.

I'll do the anti-venom.

Sean.

Before everything gets crazy out there,
I wanna say thanks.

Couldn't have done this without you.

-Thanks.
-Yeah.

Let's lock this guy up
who tried to kill us.

[screaming]

Down! Down! Down.

[groaning]

I gotta breathe.

-You all right? Come on.
-Yeah.

[Flynn] Come on.

Nice. Stings like shit, huh?

Yeah.

This is Agent Harris,
the guy on the other end of the phone.

-It's an honour.
-[siren wailing]

Kenny, baby! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

I'm gonna get you home.

-Come on, let's go. My little cowgirl.
-[both giggling]

Claire.

-Hey.
-Er...

Now that you've saved my life,
I think I kind of owe you a dinner

to show my appreciation.

Well, I would very much
like to take you up on that.

Is that right?

Call me.

Will do.

-Sean, hey.
-Hey.

Aw, damn.

I'll definitely call you.

Thank you.

How do you like flying in first class?

Do you remember
the first thing you ever told me?

What the fuck's
that got to do with anything?

What was the first thing you ever told me?

"Do as I say, and you live."

Exactly. Now it's your turn.

Do as I say, and you live.

[man] Come on!

♪ Don't tell the DJ
Got to turn it low ♪

♪ We keep on rocking'
'Til the early morn ♪

♪ I say hey now now ♪

♪ I say hey now now ♪

♪ Don't tell the people that
They gotta go ♪

♪ I wanna keep 'em
'Til the early morn ♪

♪ I say hey now now ♪

♪ I say hey now now ♪

[scatting]

♪ You've been a soldier girl ♪

♪ And I would do anything for you ♪

♪ It's true
It's true ♪

-♪ Come on ♪
-♪ I wanna... ♪

[Flynn] That's it!

I have had it
with these motherfucking snakes

on this motherfucking plane!

♪ Times are strange ♪

♪ We got a free upgrade for ♪

♪ Snakes on a plane
Fuck 'em, I don't care ♪

♪ Pop the cheap champagne ♪

♪ We're going down in flames, hey ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it! ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it! ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it! ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it! ♪

♪ So kiss me goodbye ♪

♪ Honey, I'm gonna make it out alive ♪

♪ So kiss me goodbye ♪

♪ I can see the venom in their eyes ♪

♪ Goodbye ♪

♪ It's time to fly ♪

♪ Tonight the sky's alive ♪

♪ With lizards serpentine ♪

♪ Lounging in their suits and ties ♪

♪ Watch the whores parade
For the price of fame, hey ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it! ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it! ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it! ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it! ♪

♪ So kiss me goodbye ♪

♪ Honey, I'm gonna make it out alive ♪

♪ So kiss me goodbye ♪

♪ I can see the venom in their eyes ♪

♪ So kiss me goodbye ♪

♪ Honey, I'm gonna make it out alive ♪

♪ So kiss me goodbye ♪

♪ I can see the venom in their eyes ♪

♪ Goodbye ♪

♪ Ladies and gentlemen
These snakes are slitherin' ♪

♪ With dollar signs in they eyes ♪

♪ With tongues so reptilian ♪

♪ This industry's venomous ♪

♪ With cold-blooded sentiment ♪

♪ No need for nervousness ♪

♪ It's just a little turbulence ♪

♪ Turbulence, turbulence,
Turbulence turbulence ♪

♪ So kiss me goodbye ♪

♪ Honey, I'm gonna make it out alive ♪

♪ So kiss me goodbye ♪

♪ I can see the venom in their eyes ♪

♪ So kiss me goodbye ♪

♪ Honey, I'm gonna make it out alive ♪

♪ So kiss me goodbye ♪

♪ I can see the venom in their eyes ♪

-♪ Goodbye ♪
-♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it! ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring... ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ Come on, bring it ♪

We seem to be losing altitude
at an alarming pace.

From midtown to downtown,
snakes on the block.

I suggest you grab your ankles
and kiss your ass goodbye.

♪ Yeah, invisibly a vagabond ♪

♪ Yeah, just tag along ♪

♪ Not one single care in the world ♪

♪ Not even in the carry on ♪

♪ They said there's a future ahead so ♪

♪ I'm gonna fly out there and see ♪

♪ I just smiled and said hello ♪

♪ And sat right next to destiny ♪

♪ I leaned over and asked him
Would we be okay? ♪

♪ He said that he wasn't
At liberty to say ♪

♪ Send me an angel ♪

♪ An angel ♪

♪ No sign of the times
Instead I'll take it to mean ♪

♪ I'm a stranger to danger ♪

♪ But I'm scared 'cause
I swore I saw a snake on a plane ♪

♪ I'm tired of these motherfuckin' snakes
On this motherfuckin' plane ♪

♪ I'm tired, I'm tired
I'm tired ♪

♪ I'm tired of these motherfuckin' snakes
On this motherfuckin' plane ♪

♪ I'm tired, I'm tired
I'm tired ♪

♪ Send me an angel ♪

♪ An angel ♪

♪ No sign of the times
Instead I'll take it to mean ♪

♪ I'm a stranger to danger ♪

♪ I'm scared 'cause I swore
I saw a snake on a plane ♪

♪ Snakes on the brain ♪

♪ Don't throw up signs
That don't land planes ♪

♪ It's a risky game
You don't want us to play ♪

♪ I hate the player
And I hate the game ♪

♪ 'Cause it's nature's game ♪

♪ You've got to let it go ♪

♪ You've got to let it go ♪

♪ All your fantasies will fuck you up ♪

♪ Don't let the snakes coil up
Around your neck ♪

♪ Before you land the plane
Before you win the game ♪

♪ Ahh ♪

♪ Snakes on the brain ♪

♪ Snakes on the brain ♪