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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,585 --> 00:00:11,045 (UNSETTLING MUSIC) 2 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,204 - ANDY: Hey! - Are you... OK? 3 00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,684 I just got hit in the head with a shovel. 4 00:00:15,784 --> 00:00:18,044 CASSIE: Why didn't you tell me your dad was missing? 5 00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:19,844 Tell me you found him. More importantly, the money. 6 00:00:19,944 --> 00:00:22,404 Is this a bakery or a Chinese restaurant? 7 00:00:22,504 --> 00:00:23,483 Both, yeah. Fusion. 8 00:00:23,583 --> 00:00:24,643 CASSIE: You'll never guess 9 00:00:24,743 --> 00:00:25,803 what I found. 10 00:00:25,903 --> 00:00:26,803 The shovel. Probably. 11 00:00:26,903 --> 00:00:28,283 The one that hit you in the face! 12 00:00:28,383 --> 00:00:29,723 - (PANS CLATTER) - (GRUNTS) 13 00:00:29,823 --> 00:00:32,083 CASSIE: Oh! Fuck! 14 00:00:32,183 --> 00:00:35,282 She's gonna get rid of the body by baking it into her pies. 15 00:00:35,382 --> 00:00:37,602 If I help you find your dad, you'll pay me the 5,000? 16 00:00:37,702 --> 00:00:39,922 - Fine. - (FIREARM CLICKS) 17 00:00:40,022 --> 00:00:42,722 Looks like you uncovered my little secret. 18 00:00:42,822 --> 00:00:47,181 (TIMER RINGS) 19 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,841 I can't believe you worked it out. 20 00:00:50,941 --> 00:00:55,561 Look, uh, I'm... I'm sure you have your... your reasons 21 00:00:55,661 --> 00:00:59,680 and that is fine. 22 00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:00,920 - It's fine? - It's fine. 23 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,520 Of course it's fine. 24 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:03,920 - Totally fine. - It's so fine. 25 00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:04,920 - It's fine. - Really fine. 26 00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:06,120 - Tell her. - I'm telling her. 27 00:01:06,220 --> 00:01:07,360 Stop saying it's fine. 28 00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:08,760 I know it's fine. 29 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,919 Circle-of-life shit. 30 00:01:11,019 --> 00:01:13,359 What I don't know is who you've told about it. 31 00:01:13,459 --> 00:01:16,199 No-one. No-one. 32 00:01:16,299 --> 00:01:20,879 And we... we... we are not gonna tell a... a single person. 33 00:01:20,979 --> 00:01:23,118 - Not a soul. - Not a soul, no. 34 00:01:23,218 --> 00:01:26,638 I mean, we... we... respect 35 00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:29,678 the... the creative process too much. 36 00:01:29,778 --> 00:01:33,277 You know, all I really frankly, to be honest, 37 00:01:33,377 --> 00:01:35,237 all I care about is... is the... the money. 38 00:01:35,337 --> 00:01:37,337 Is getting the money. 39 00:01:38,657 --> 00:01:40,837 - The money? - Yeah. If you just... 40 00:01:40,937 --> 00:01:42,037 If you just hand it over, 41 00:01:42,137 --> 00:01:43,997 we're not gonna say anything about this. 42 00:01:44,097 --> 00:01:46,636 In case you hadn't noticed, dickhead, 43 00:01:46,736 --> 00:01:48,036 I'm the one holding the gun. 44 00:01:48,136 --> 00:01:50,036 That's fair. That's fair. 45 00:01:50,136 --> 00:01:52,696 - Yeah. - So, this is how it's gonna go. 46 00:01:58,775 --> 00:02:00,775 Here. 47 00:02:01,135 --> 00:02:02,115 What's... What are you... 48 00:02:02,215 --> 00:02:04,215 - What are you doing? - Take it. 49 00:02:05,535 --> 00:02:06,435 Try it. 50 00:02:06,535 --> 00:02:07,834 What? 51 00:02:07,934 --> 00:02:09,314 I know your tastebuds have been poisoned 52 00:02:09,414 --> 00:02:11,514 by corn syrup and processed shit, 53 00:02:11,614 --> 00:02:13,614 but at least try it. 54 00:02:14,174 --> 00:02:16,434 - No, thank you. I-I... It's... - Eat it! 55 00:02:16,534 --> 00:02:18,074 If you remember, I actually had some 56 00:02:18,174 --> 00:02:19,953 when I first came into the store, so... 57 00:02:20,053 --> 00:02:21,233 Not this kind, you didn't. 58 00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:22,913 Please, I'm... I'm begging you not to... 59 00:02:23,013 --> 00:02:26,393 Eat the fuckin' pie or I'll blow your fuckin' head off! 60 00:02:26,493 --> 00:02:28,753 - I'll eat it. - You're a vegetarian. 61 00:02:28,853 --> 00:02:30,852 I wouldn't make you do that. 62 00:02:31,492 --> 00:02:32,712 Eat it. 63 00:02:32,812 --> 00:02:33,912 Be a big boy. 64 00:02:34,012 --> 00:02:34,952 (FOIL CRINKLES) 65 00:02:35,052 --> 00:02:37,052 Just getting it ready. 66 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:45,331 Big bite. 67 00:02:47,651 --> 00:02:50,151 (LAUGHS) 68 00:02:50,251 --> 00:02:52,511 Can't taste the difference, can ya? 69 00:02:52,611 --> 00:02:53,751 Mm-mm. 70 00:02:53,851 --> 00:02:56,430 No. You are... What is wrong with you?! 71 00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:58,430 What? Too much coriander? 72 00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:00,350 What kind of a sick fuck 73 00:03:00,450 --> 00:03:03,110 forces somebody to eat their own father?! 74 00:03:03,210 --> 00:03:04,910 - What's that, now? - It's human flesh! 75 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,309 Specifically, my father! 76 00:03:06,409 --> 00:03:08,429 Jesus Christ! 77 00:03:08,529 --> 00:03:10,589 Of course it fuckin' isn't! 78 00:03:10,689 --> 00:03:14,329 Oh, yeah? Then what's Hugo's hat doing here? 79 00:03:15,809 --> 00:03:19,988 That's my hat. Half the fuckin' town has the same hat. 80 00:03:20,088 --> 00:03:22,388 OK, why are you driving around town in the dead of night 81 00:03:22,488 --> 00:03:24,628 with a bloody shovel in the back of your ute, then? 82 00:03:24,728 --> 00:03:26,428 Because I pick up roadkill. 83 00:03:26,528 --> 00:03:29,227 I collect it at night 'cause I don't want people knowing. 84 00:03:29,327 --> 00:03:31,707 Even though it's totally environmentally friendly, 85 00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:33,667 some people are pretty narrow-minded 86 00:03:33,767 --> 00:03:35,227 about this kind of shit. 87 00:03:35,327 --> 00:03:37,667 OK, it's not as bad as we thought, but it's still gross! 88 00:03:37,767 --> 00:03:41,026 - I mean, what about hygiene? - Uh, it's completely hygienic. 89 00:03:41,126 --> 00:03:43,386 I only use the freshest kills. 90 00:03:43,486 --> 00:03:46,706 Roos, dingoes, wallabies, the odd emu. 91 00:03:46,806 --> 00:03:48,626 So, that wasn't you 92 00:03:48,726 --> 00:03:51,466 that hit me over the head with the shovel last night? 93 00:03:51,566 --> 00:03:52,905 If someone hit you over the head, 94 00:03:53,005 --> 00:03:55,025 you probably deserved it for being a nosy bastard, 95 00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:57,125 but it wasn't me. 96 00:03:58,245 --> 00:04:01,265 Shit. Ah! Fuck! (GRUNTS) 97 00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:04,144 Yeah, OK, we believe you. Just put the gun down. 98 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,944 - Promise not to say anything. - Obviously! 99 00:04:07,044 --> 00:04:07,984 We promise. 100 00:04:08,084 --> 00:04:09,144 - (ANDY INHALES SHARPLY) - Good. 101 00:04:09,244 --> 00:04:12,184 Now, take your unsophisticated palates 102 00:04:12,284 --> 00:04:13,624 and get the fuck out! 103 00:04:13,724 --> 00:04:15,723 Come on. Let's just... 104 00:04:17,203 --> 00:04:18,663 Psycho. Jesus! 105 00:04:18,763 --> 00:04:19,903 (DOOR SLAMS) 106 00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:22,003 Fuckin' hell. 107 00:04:24,323 --> 00:04:26,223 (SOFTLY) Shit. 108 00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:28,382 Oh, it has got too much coriander. 109 00:04:28,482 --> 00:04:30,782 (KOOKABURRA LAUGHS IN DISTANCE) 110 00:04:30,882 --> 00:04:32,382 I thought you were looking for your dad 111 00:04:32,482 --> 00:04:33,382 because he's your dad. 112 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:34,382 I am. 113 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:35,902 But as soon as you think 114 00:04:36,002 --> 00:04:38,101 you're being forced to eat him, your focus shifts to money? 115 00:04:38,201 --> 00:04:39,901 - What's that about? - He has some money of mine. 116 00:04:40,001 --> 00:04:41,701 I need to get it back. That is all. 117 00:04:41,801 --> 00:04:43,501 - It's not a big deal. - Yeah, that checks out. 118 00:04:43,601 --> 00:04:45,781 You only flew halfway around the world for it. No biggie. 119 00:04:45,881 --> 00:04:47,181 How is any of this your business? 120 00:04:47,281 --> 00:04:48,381 I thought I was helping you 121 00:04:48,481 --> 00:04:49,980 get to the bottom of your dad's disappearance. 122 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,380 Yeah, well, your theory didn't pan out. 123 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,660 So, you know what? I'm good. Thank you. 124 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,640 But you said... We had a deal. Andy! 125 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,380 Andy! 126 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,639 ('COLOUR TELEVISION' BY EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING) 127 00:05:04,239 --> 00:05:06,279 (BUZZING) 128 00:05:18,158 --> 00:05:20,598 What do you want? 129 00:05:23,158 --> 00:05:24,737 Fuckin' onto you, mate. 130 00:05:24,837 --> 00:05:26,737 ♪ I switch on, I switch off 131 00:05:26,837 --> 00:05:30,257 ♪ I switch on, I switch off I switch on, I switch off 132 00:05:30,357 --> 00:05:32,137 ♪ I switch on, I switch off 133 00:05:32,237 --> 00:05:35,737 ♪ I switch on, I switch off I switch on, I switch off 134 00:05:35,837 --> 00:05:39,556 ♪ I switch on, I switch off I switch on, I switch off... ♪ 135 00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,416 No, I haven't found him. 136 00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,336 (YAWNS) But right now, I need to go to sleep. 137 00:05:44,436 --> 00:05:46,656 Well, you can sleep when we get the money back. 138 00:05:46,756 --> 00:05:47,855 'Night, Dom! 139 00:05:47,955 --> 00:05:49,095 Oh, 'night! 140 00:05:49,195 --> 00:05:50,295 Don't work too late. 141 00:05:50,395 --> 00:05:52,135 No, no, no, I won't. I won't. 142 00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:54,175 - (DOM CHUCKLES) - OK. 143 00:05:54,275 --> 00:05:55,335 (SIGHS) 144 00:05:55,435 --> 00:05:57,455 Look, I think Liliana suspects something. 145 00:05:57,555 --> 00:05:58,775 (SCOFFS) No way. 146 00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:00,334 All Liliana cares about 147 00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:02,894 is who's bringing cookies to the Compliment Circle this week. 148 00:06:02,994 --> 00:06:06,454 - Andy, I'm telling you... - LILIANA: Oh, is that Andy? 149 00:06:06,554 --> 00:06:07,934 Is he really sick 150 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:11,373 or is he out on other job interviews? 151 00:06:11,473 --> 00:06:13,653 He hasn't seemed happy here lately. 152 00:06:13,753 --> 00:06:15,453 No, no, of course he's sick. 153 00:06:15,553 --> 00:06:18,933 He's got a kidney stone in his urethra. 154 00:06:19,033 --> 00:06:21,493 - He almost died. - LILIANA: Oh, God! 155 00:06:21,593 --> 00:06:24,572 Poor Andy. I am so sorry. 156 00:06:24,672 --> 00:06:27,412 DOM: No, no, no. It's OK. You couldn't have known. 157 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,252 Tell him I hope he feels better soon. 158 00:06:29,352 --> 00:06:31,912 - I will. Have a... - 'Bye. 159 00:06:34,951 --> 00:06:36,331 Oh, goddamn it. 160 00:06:36,431 --> 00:06:37,771 That was impressive. 161 00:06:37,871 --> 00:06:40,331 Andy, she's found one of the accounts. 162 00:06:40,431 --> 00:06:42,891 What? How? 163 00:06:42,991 --> 00:06:45,370 I used a deceased client. 164 00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:47,890 She saw that the account had been reopened. 165 00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,170 I told her it was a mistake, but... 166 00:06:50,270 --> 00:06:51,770 Look, I think she bought it, 167 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,970 but, look, man, to be honest, I'm nervous. 168 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:56,849 OK. That just sounds like bad luck. 169 00:06:56,949 --> 00:07:00,169 No, man, I'm telling you, man, she is sniffing around. 170 00:07:00,269 --> 00:07:02,409 What if she finds one of the other accounts? 171 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:03,529 She's not going to 172 00:07:03,629 --> 00:07:04,609 because you're gonna make sure 173 00:07:04,709 --> 00:07:06,709 that that doesn't happen, Dom. 174 00:07:08,389 --> 00:07:10,048 Maybe I should just close 'em all down. 175 00:07:10,148 --> 00:07:12,568 No, you can't close them. We're not done yet. 176 00:07:12,668 --> 00:07:14,048 Well, look, man, I gotta be honest. 177 00:07:14,148 --> 00:07:16,448 I don't know how much longer I can keep all this up. 178 00:07:16,548 --> 00:07:19,528 Listen, the UAE transaction is in 72 hours. 179 00:07:19,628 --> 00:07:21,007 I will find the money. 180 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,087 It's gonna go through 181 00:07:22,187 --> 00:07:23,927 and then we'll figure out what to do next, 182 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,167 but right now, I need to go to bed. 183 00:07:26,267 --> 00:07:28,207 What the hell's going on down there, Andy? 184 00:07:28,307 --> 00:07:29,727 I haven't slept since I got here 185 00:07:29,827 --> 00:07:31,367 and I almost ate my dad last night. 186 00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:33,526 I didn't almost eat him. It wasn't my dad. 187 00:07:33,626 --> 00:07:37,006 It doesn't matter. I feel sick and I need to go to bed. 188 00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:39,106 'Bye, Dom. 189 00:07:40,946 --> 00:07:42,206 (SIGHS) 190 00:07:42,306 --> 00:07:45,305 ('MIND' BY KAS PRODUCT) 191 00:07:47,465 --> 00:07:50,325 ♪ Your mind is all you've got 192 00:07:50,425 --> 00:07:53,045 ♪ Try to keep it to yourself 193 00:07:53,145 --> 00:07:56,084 ♪ You told my mind that I don't know how to feel 194 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,044 ♪ I'm trying all this time to know what is real 195 00:07:59,144 --> 00:08:00,564 ♪ You think about my mind 196 00:08:00,664 --> 00:08:02,244 ♪ So you see I won't get hurt 197 00:08:02,344 --> 00:08:05,284 ♪ And you say all the time that I don't know what is real... ♪ 198 00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:06,923 Slowing down, thank you. 199 00:08:07,023 --> 00:08:08,363 (BICYCLE BELL TINKLES) 200 00:08:08,463 --> 00:08:10,463 NOEL: Bloody tourist! 201 00:08:12,983 --> 00:08:17,123 (PASSIONATE MOANING AND PANTING) 202 00:08:17,223 --> 00:08:19,242 Baby boy want an apple? 203 00:08:19,342 --> 00:08:22,082 Uh, no, thank you. Um... 204 00:08:22,182 --> 00:08:23,842 - Eat it. - W-what? 205 00:08:23,942 --> 00:08:26,122 - Bite it. - (APPLE CRUNCHES) 206 00:08:26,222 --> 00:08:27,562 Good boy. 207 00:08:27,662 --> 00:08:30,321 You love it. Suckle on it. 208 00:08:30,421 --> 00:08:32,401 Oh! Oh! 209 00:08:32,501 --> 00:08:34,481 - (PHONE RINGS) - Good boy. 210 00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:37,401 Shouldn't you get that? It keeps ringing. 211 00:08:37,501 --> 00:08:40,501 Oh. Uh, fuckin'... 212 00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:43,440 What? 213 00:08:43,540 --> 00:08:45,120 ANDY OVER PHONE: This is Andrew Pruden. 214 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:48,520 Oh! (CHUCKLES) I knew you'd call. 215 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,920 OK, so, what's the latest? 216 00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:53,919 - On what? - My missing father! 217 00:08:54,019 --> 00:08:55,479 (SIGHS) 218 00:08:55,579 --> 00:08:58,959 Listen, sweetheart, people disappear out here all the time, 219 00:08:59,059 --> 00:09:00,559 never to be seen or heard of again. 220 00:09:00,659 --> 00:09:02,359 Some people fall off the face of the earth 221 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,118 in violent, horrifying circumstances 222 00:09:05,218 --> 00:09:06,758 and some people who go missing 223 00:09:06,858 --> 00:09:08,438 just don't want to be found at all. 224 00:09:08,538 --> 00:09:10,078 (RORY MUNCHES APPLE) 225 00:09:10,178 --> 00:09:12,178 Have you ever considered that? 226 00:09:12,978 --> 00:09:14,398 So, you're... you're just not gonna look? 227 00:09:14,498 --> 00:09:15,478 Look... 228 00:09:15,578 --> 00:09:17,357 ...I'm not saying don't get your hopes... 229 00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:19,797 Oh, no, wait. Yep, that's exactly what I'm saying. 230 00:09:19,897 --> 00:09:21,897 Thanks for calling. 231 00:09:25,977 --> 00:09:26,957 - (AIR RIFLE POPS) - Ow! 232 00:09:27,057 --> 00:09:29,056 Argh! 233 00:09:30,776 --> 00:09:32,776 Hello? 234 00:09:33,736 --> 00:09:36,416 - (AIR RIFLE POPS) - Ow! Hey! Hey! 235 00:09:37,816 --> 00:09:42,395 Hey! Hey! What the fuck? Who are you? 236 00:09:42,495 --> 00:09:45,175 Watch the language, please! 237 00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:49,755 Oh, hi. Did you... Did you just see... 238 00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:51,194 Never mind. 239 00:09:51,294 --> 00:09:54,194 Uh, I was wondering if I could use your internet. 240 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:57,234 - Innernet? - Yeah. 241 00:09:57,334 --> 00:10:00,794 - No, we don't have innernet. - You... you don't? 242 00:10:00,894 --> 00:10:03,073 Didn't I see the...? 243 00:10:03,173 --> 00:10:05,593 Oh, internet? With a 'T'? 244 00:10:05,693 --> 00:10:08,593 Yes, internet with a 'T'. 245 00:10:08,693 --> 00:10:12,673 - Yeah, the 'T' is not silent. - I didn't make it silent! 246 00:10:12,773 --> 00:10:15,392 NOEL: Mm, sorta did, though. 247 00:10:15,492 --> 00:10:17,432 You know what I'm... What I'm asking. 248 00:10:17,532 --> 00:10:19,112 - NOEL: Internet? - ANDY: Internet. 249 00:10:19,212 --> 00:10:21,752 - Internet. - May I use your internet? 250 00:10:21,852 --> 00:10:23,032 (FLY BUZZES) 251 00:10:23,132 --> 00:10:25,132 NOEL: What's the magic word, though? 252 00:10:26,411 --> 00:10:27,551 Please? 253 00:10:27,651 --> 00:10:29,071 Not that hard, is it? 254 00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:31,171 No. 255 00:10:32,291 --> 00:10:33,351 Did, uh... 256 00:10:33,451 --> 00:10:36,271 Did Hugo ever use this computer, 257 00:10:36,371 --> 00:10:38,750 you know, for online banking or...? 258 00:10:38,850 --> 00:10:41,070 I am not at liberty to... 259 00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:42,830 Yeah, you're not at liberty to say. 260 00:10:42,930 --> 00:10:44,930 - You can't tell me anything. - Absolutely. 261 00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:47,870 You know your head's bleeding? 262 00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:51,309 Oh, yeah. I fell and hurt myself. 263 00:10:51,409 --> 00:10:52,309 NOEL: Oh. 264 00:10:52,409 --> 00:10:54,829 You can't use my internet 265 00:10:54,929 --> 00:10:56,469 with a gaping wound like that. 266 00:10:56,569 --> 00:10:58,109 I don't want blood on my keyboard. 267 00:10:58,209 --> 00:10:59,749 OK, well... (CLEARS THROAT) 268 00:10:59,849 --> 00:11:02,228 Is there a bandage, maybe, or... 269 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,028 Oh, no, that's a nasty cut. 270 00:11:04,128 --> 00:11:06,128 A bandage won't do. 271 00:11:08,048 --> 00:11:10,948 Oh, I don't know. I suppose I could stitch it up for you. 272 00:11:11,048 --> 00:11:14,187 Ah, of course. You're a doctor too. 273 00:11:14,287 --> 00:11:15,987 Well, more of an amateur vet. 274 00:11:16,087 --> 00:11:18,347 Yeah, I mean, I don't wanna blow my own horn, 275 00:11:18,447 --> 00:11:20,787 but I have been stitching up animals for years. 276 00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:22,707 There's not a dog in this town 277 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,546 that hasn't had my magic fingers all over them. 278 00:11:24,646 --> 00:11:26,186 - Lucky dogs. - They sure are. 279 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,026 I think I'm OK with the stitches, 280 00:11:28,126 --> 00:11:29,986 but thank you anyway. 281 00:11:30,086 --> 00:11:32,826 Alright, well, think about it this way - 282 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,305 when your dad comes back, 283 00:11:35,405 --> 00:11:38,485 you can tell him that I took care of his little baby boy. 284 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,625 Do you think my... 285 00:11:41,725 --> 00:11:44,205 He's coming back? 286 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:49,144 Who knows? Maybe he's on holiday. 287 00:11:49,244 --> 00:11:53,104 Maybe something strange happened or maybe... 288 00:11:53,204 --> 00:11:55,204 ...he never left. 289 00:12:02,403 --> 00:12:04,403 So... (SUCKS TEETH) 290 00:12:05,723 --> 00:12:07,103 ...what'll it be? 291 00:12:07,203 --> 00:12:09,323 (SIGHS) 292 00:12:13,002 --> 00:12:15,542 It's like a museum in here. 293 00:12:15,642 --> 00:12:20,602 Yeah, that's the plan, once I've gathered enough artefacts. 294 00:12:22,561 --> 00:12:24,741 Security cameras? 295 00:12:24,841 --> 00:12:26,101 ANDY: Town this small? 296 00:12:26,201 --> 00:12:28,021 NOEL: Yeah, you can never let your guard down 297 00:12:28,121 --> 00:12:29,381 where people are concerned. 298 00:12:29,481 --> 00:12:33,380 I like to keep a close eye on everyone, 299 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,620 especially those I don't trust. 300 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,300 (INHALES SHARPLY) 301 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,180 Oh, yeah? 302 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,140 - Yeah. - Like who? 303 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,579 Oh, you haven't met Jeff yet, have you? 304 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:46,179 No. 305 00:12:46,279 --> 00:12:47,579 Who's Jeff? (INHALES SHARPLY) 306 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:51,159 - Argh, Jesus! - Ah, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 307 00:12:52,399 --> 00:12:54,999 Oh, don't worry. You'll meet Jeff. 308 00:12:58,558 --> 00:13:00,378 What's with the nurse? 309 00:13:00,478 --> 00:13:02,878 Well, it's not a sex thing, if that's what you're thinking. 310 00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:05,858 I wasn't. It's... I just... 311 00:13:05,958 --> 00:13:08,617 Well, that's lucky, 'cause it's a tribute to my mother. 312 00:13:08,717 --> 00:13:10,177 She was a nurse. 313 00:13:10,277 --> 00:13:12,277 That was her uniform. Any other questions? 314 00:13:15,117 --> 00:13:16,977 Were you friends with Hugo? 315 00:13:17,077 --> 00:13:22,136 Oh, sure. I love your dad. Fantastic individual. 316 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:24,376 We're extremely close. 317 00:13:24,476 --> 00:13:26,056 Oh, I mean, you know, having said that, 318 00:13:26,156 --> 00:13:30,136 I can see why people might say we were... rivals. 319 00:13:30,236 --> 00:13:31,135 Rivals? 320 00:13:31,235 --> 00:13:34,135 Well, it was my idea to run UFO tours 321 00:13:34,235 --> 00:13:35,335 and Hugo did steal it, 322 00:13:35,435 --> 00:13:36,615 but, to be fair, 323 00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:38,255 anyone could have come up with 324 00:13:38,355 --> 00:13:42,774 that exact same incredibly specific idea 325 00:13:42,874 --> 00:13:45,654 right after I told him about it. 326 00:13:45,754 --> 00:13:47,334 I see. 327 00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:49,094 That's just the kinda guy he is. 328 00:13:49,194 --> 00:13:51,194 God, I miss him. 329 00:13:52,954 --> 00:13:56,293 Hope he comes back soon. 330 00:13:56,393 --> 00:13:58,653 Me too. 331 00:13:58,753 --> 00:14:00,753 So, um... 332 00:14:02,073 --> 00:14:04,073 ...let me ask you something. 333 00:14:10,152 --> 00:14:12,632 How do we know you are who you say you are? 334 00:14:14,992 --> 00:14:17,171 I mean, what are we to think? 335 00:14:17,271 --> 00:14:20,091 You come in here out of the blue looking for Hugo 336 00:14:20,191 --> 00:14:22,751 like a debt collector, not a long-lost son. 337 00:14:24,511 --> 00:14:29,170 See, Americans always want something. 338 00:14:29,270 --> 00:14:32,630 If they can't turn a profit, they just won't do it. 339 00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:37,070 You watch too many movies. 340 00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:40,109 I've never seen a movie. 341 00:14:42,269 --> 00:14:44,269 I watch people. 342 00:14:46,709 --> 00:14:49,389 And I can see in your eyes that you want something. 343 00:14:54,348 --> 00:14:56,348 Yeah. 344 00:14:56,748 --> 00:14:58,748 I wanna know where Hugo is. 345 00:15:00,028 --> 00:15:02,028 You mean your dad? 346 00:15:02,708 --> 00:15:04,707 (CLEARS THROAT) 347 00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,487 Alright. 348 00:15:09,587 --> 00:15:12,087 Well, as a man from a nation 349 00:15:12,187 --> 00:15:14,287 that understands the importance of independence, 350 00:15:14,387 --> 00:15:15,486 I wanna show you something. 351 00:15:15,586 --> 00:15:17,586 Come on. 352 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,085 (SIGHS) 353 00:15:26,185 --> 00:15:27,845 - Incredible. - Mm. 354 00:15:27,945 --> 00:15:31,125 - Is this your hobby? - Oi! Hobbies are for children. 355 00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:32,965 What you are looking at is a model 356 00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,005 for a future micronation. 357 00:15:35,105 --> 00:15:37,644 - ANDY: A micronation? - Mm. Nation within a nation. 358 00:15:37,744 --> 00:15:39,724 See, what I aim to achieve is the registration 359 00:15:39,824 --> 00:15:42,724 of the Principality of Bidgeegudland. 360 00:15:42,824 --> 00:15:44,804 Just need everybody's votes. 361 00:15:44,904 --> 00:15:47,464 Hugo was against it, naturally. 362 00:15:48,624 --> 00:15:52,203 Maybe you can help me get him on board, if he's ever found.+ 363 00:15:52,303 --> 00:15:56,323 - Why would you wanna do this? - Why wouldn't I? 364 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:59,683 You see, every government in the last 200-plus years 365 00:15:59,783 --> 00:16:01,842 in this country has been rubbish 366 00:16:01,942 --> 00:16:05,122 and I am fed up recognising their authority. 367 00:16:05,222 --> 00:16:07,482 Much better to have a self-governed nation, 368 00:16:07,582 --> 00:16:10,762 you know, with our own laws and currency 369 00:16:10,862 --> 00:16:13,081 and flag and stamps. 370 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,121 I'm even working on a national anthem. 371 00:16:15,221 --> 00:16:17,121 - Would you like to hear it? - Not really. 372 00:16:17,221 --> 00:16:19,241 Good. Lyrics aren't quite there yet. 373 00:16:19,341 --> 00:16:20,961 Where's Hugo? 374 00:16:21,061 --> 00:16:23,521 Well, I like to update the model in real time. 375 00:16:23,621 --> 00:16:24,680 Hugo's missing, isn't he? 376 00:16:24,780 --> 00:16:26,080 So, it stands to reason 377 00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:27,720 he's vanished from here too. 378 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,560 - (PHONE RINGS) - Oh, excuse I. 379 00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:33,280 It's 47.50 for the stitches too and I don't bulk bill either. 380 00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:36,199 (PHONE RINGS) 381 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:38,419 NOEL: Hello? 382 00:16:42,299 --> 00:16:44,299 ANDY: Hugo? 383 00:16:45,899 --> 00:16:48,358 (INTRIGUING MUSIC) 384 00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:51,098 (NOEL SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY IN DISTANCE) 385 00:17:20,096 --> 00:17:21,875 Hey, Val, uh... 386 00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:25,355 - There you go, darl. - I didn't order that. 387 00:17:25,455 --> 00:17:28,395 Well, it's poured now. I'll just put it on your tab. 388 00:17:28,495 --> 00:17:31,755 - Hey, have you seen Cassie? - Yes! 389 00:17:31,855 --> 00:17:34,234 She just rented the room next to yours. 390 00:17:34,334 --> 00:17:36,814 She told me to put that on your tab as well. 391 00:17:38,134 --> 00:17:40,134 Great. 392 00:17:45,493 --> 00:17:48,093 Uh, Leon? 393 00:17:49,573 --> 00:17:52,193 Enjoying our little town, are ya? 394 00:17:52,293 --> 00:17:54,353 Uh, not particularly. 395 00:17:54,453 --> 00:17:57,952 And I actually don't really have time for whatever this is. 396 00:17:58,052 --> 00:18:00,592 Oh, yeah? How you liking the people, mate? 397 00:18:00,692 --> 00:18:02,692 They are fine. 398 00:18:03,252 --> 00:18:05,592 Anyone in particular you liking? 399 00:18:05,692 --> 00:18:09,111 Uh, you know, I'll think about it and let you know, OK? 400 00:18:09,211 --> 00:18:13,631 Hey, any of the, uh, female women 401 00:18:13,731 --> 00:18:16,271 in particular that you're liking? 402 00:18:16,371 --> 00:18:17,671 I don't know. 403 00:18:17,771 --> 00:18:20,130 Just off the top of me head... 404 00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:25,250 Audrey? 405 00:18:25,810 --> 00:18:27,110 The pie lady? 406 00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:28,990 Un-fucking-believable, bud. 407 00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:32,629 You been here for, what, huh, five fucking seconds? 408 00:18:32,729 --> 00:18:33,869 You're already waving 409 00:18:33,969 --> 00:18:35,509 your stars-and-stripes dick around, aren't ya? 410 00:18:35,609 --> 00:18:37,909 Fuckin' the one woman who's supposed to be mine, you dog! 411 00:18:38,009 --> 00:18:39,189 What? 412 00:18:39,289 --> 00:18:41,509 Yeah, I saw you leaving her house this morning. 413 00:18:41,609 --> 00:18:44,828 Was that you watching me via that drone? 414 00:18:44,928 --> 00:18:45,988 'Vee-a'? 415 00:18:46,088 --> 00:18:46,988 You're not gonna distract me 416 00:18:47,088 --> 00:18:48,108 with your bullshit words, mate. 417 00:18:48,208 --> 00:18:49,468 Nothing happened. 418 00:18:49,568 --> 00:18:51,708 Cassie and I went in to talk her about something 419 00:18:51,808 --> 00:18:53,588 and there was a little misunderstanding about pies. 420 00:18:53,688 --> 00:18:55,547 Oh, OK, what type of misunderstanding, mate? 421 00:18:55,647 --> 00:18:58,227 (STAMMERS) Doesn't matter. Nothing. That's all. 422 00:18:58,327 --> 00:19:01,167 Ask... ask Cassie. Nothing happened. 423 00:19:03,207 --> 00:19:04,547 Shit! Fuck! 424 00:19:04,647 --> 00:19:06,146 Sorry, mate. I'm sorry. 425 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:10,386 I-I get a bit caught up in it and I make dumb assumptions. 426 00:19:10,486 --> 00:19:12,706 Yeah, of course Audrey's not gonna be into you. 427 00:19:12,806 --> 00:19:14,106 I mean, have a look at you. 428 00:19:14,206 --> 00:19:15,506 You look like one of those blokes 429 00:19:15,606 --> 00:19:17,146 that tries to sell me fucking life insurance 430 00:19:17,246 --> 00:19:18,705 or some bullshit, you know? 431 00:19:18,805 --> 00:19:19,905 (SNORTS) 432 00:19:20,005 --> 00:19:21,705 Well, glad I could clear that up for you. 433 00:19:21,805 --> 00:19:22,825 Anyway, if you don't mind, 434 00:19:22,925 --> 00:19:24,425 I'm kind of in the middle of something. 435 00:19:24,525 --> 00:19:26,585 - Oh, yeah, righto. No worries. - Yeah. 436 00:19:26,685 --> 00:19:28,685 (EXHALES) 437 00:19:30,884 --> 00:19:32,904 Hey, Andy... 438 00:19:33,004 --> 00:19:35,164 ...how do I make Audrey like me? 439 00:19:36,724 --> 00:19:40,504 Oh, um, I don't know. Just be yourself. 440 00:19:40,604 --> 00:19:42,543 Oh, yeah, OK. 441 00:19:42,643 --> 00:19:45,663 What if she doesn't fuckin' like this myself person? 442 00:19:45,763 --> 00:19:48,623 A fuckin' small town, bud. Small town. 443 00:19:48,723 --> 00:19:51,703 I can't just make an arse of myself. What if she says no? 444 00:19:51,803 --> 00:19:54,062 I fuckin' live here, man. 445 00:19:54,162 --> 00:19:56,382 Uh, well, you know, Leon, 446 00:19:56,482 --> 00:19:59,702 maybe just - I don't know - make a joke out of it, you know? 447 00:19:59,802 --> 00:20:01,702 Ask her out and if she says no, 448 00:20:01,802 --> 00:20:03,582 then you can tease her for thinking 449 00:20:03,682 --> 00:20:04,741 that you were being serious 450 00:20:04,841 --> 00:20:06,821 and then she looks silly and you don't, so... 451 00:20:06,921 --> 00:20:08,921 Yeah. 452 00:20:10,801 --> 00:20:13,661 Mate, that is fuckin' genius advice. 453 00:20:13,761 --> 00:20:16,340 Genius. I'll just make a fuckin' joke of it! 454 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,860 - Yeah. - Yes! 455 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,540 Because then if she says no, I can just say, 456 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,220 "What are you? Stupid or something? 457 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,060 "I was having a fuckin' joke, you dumb fuckin' bitch." 458 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,860 Well, maybe not in those exact... 459 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,819 No, but that's good. Thank you. 460 00:20:28,919 --> 00:20:30,779 - Are you gonna have that one? - Knock yourself out. 461 00:20:30,879 --> 00:20:32,019 Thanks, mate. 462 00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:34,119 See ya. 463 00:20:35,879 --> 00:20:37,219 (SIGHS) 464 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,938 That's some of the dumbest advice I've ever heard. 465 00:20:40,038 --> 00:20:44,018 There you are. Hey, uh, have you met anybody named Jeff? 466 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:46,118 Jeff? Nah. Why? 467 00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:47,778 Doesn't matter. 468 00:20:47,878 --> 00:20:50,617 Uh, I need you to distract Noel 469 00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,337 at the general store for me. 470 00:20:52,437 --> 00:20:54,737 Sorry, did you just say 'need'? 471 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,537 I thought you didn't need anyone's help. 472 00:20:57,637 --> 00:20:59,897 Well, you clearly haven't been taking the hint. 473 00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,036 So, I'm working for you? The deal's back on? 474 00:21:03,036 --> 00:21:04,176 Say it. 475 00:21:04,276 --> 00:21:07,576 - Say I'm working for you. - OK, fine. 476 00:21:07,676 --> 00:21:10,416 Yes, you, Cassie - I don't know your last name - 477 00:21:10,516 --> 00:21:12,616 are officially working for me, OK? 478 00:21:12,716 --> 00:21:15,135 So, now can we maybe update your resume some other time? 479 00:21:15,235 --> 00:21:19,815 Alright. Distract Noel, you say? Too easy. 480 00:21:19,915 --> 00:21:22,295 ('MIND' BY KAS PRODUCT) 481 00:21:22,395 --> 00:21:23,695 ♪ They're after us 482 00:21:23,795 --> 00:21:25,174 ♪ You've got to care 483 00:21:25,274 --> 00:21:28,254 ♪ I know what is the burden 484 00:21:28,354 --> 00:21:29,774 ♪ It's the money you want 485 00:21:29,874 --> 00:21:31,374 ♪ And the mind to kill 486 00:21:31,474 --> 00:21:32,854 ♪ It's the power of life 487 00:21:32,954 --> 00:21:34,494 ♪ And the lives you steal 488 00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:37,453 ♪ Exploit them and their minds 489 00:21:37,553 --> 00:21:40,653 ♪ It's for the good of mankind 490 00:21:40,753 --> 00:21:44,113 ♪ We want your mind, we want your mind. ♪ 491 00:21:48,152 --> 00:21:50,592 (NOEL MURMURS ABSENT-MINDEDLY) 492 00:21:52,752 --> 00:21:55,392 (INTRIGUING MUSIC) 493 00:21:56,552 --> 00:21:57,892 What are you staring at? 494 00:21:57,992 --> 00:22:01,111 Just your potential. 495 00:22:02,871 --> 00:22:04,011 What? 496 00:22:04,111 --> 00:22:07,011 - So, you dye your hair, right? - No, I don't. 497 00:22:07,111 --> 00:22:10,611 OK. Well, it looks great. 498 00:22:10,711 --> 00:22:12,930 But how would you like to look even younger? 499 00:22:13,030 --> 00:22:14,530 Oh, no, not interested. 500 00:22:14,630 --> 00:22:16,610 - It's free. - I'll give it a go, sure. 501 00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:17,770 CASSIE: Hm. 502 00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:19,870 (INTRIGUING MUSIC) 503 00:22:28,509 --> 00:22:31,769 So, is there a special lady in your life? 504 00:22:31,869 --> 00:22:34,189 Just get on with it, please, before I change my mind. 505 00:22:36,788 --> 00:22:38,788 (CASSIE CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY) 506 00:23:05,346 --> 00:23:07,366 It feels weird. 507 00:23:07,466 --> 00:23:09,365 Uh, yeah, that's just the minerals doing their work. 508 00:23:09,465 --> 00:23:12,445 Mm, good. It is kind of burning, though. 509 00:23:12,545 --> 00:23:14,685 - Oh. - I think I want to take it off. 510 00:23:14,785 --> 00:23:17,105 Just give it a minute. You won't regret it. 511 00:23:31,264 --> 00:23:32,483 Oh, my God! 512 00:23:32,583 --> 00:23:37,643 You look 18 months younger at least. Wow. 513 00:23:37,743 --> 00:23:40,363 Would you mind if I take a photo? 514 00:23:40,463 --> 00:23:42,723 Yeah, I would mind. No photos. 515 00:23:42,823 --> 00:23:44,562 Oh, then a mirror. Look, look. 516 00:23:44,662 --> 00:23:46,402 Come and... You have to see it for yourself. 517 00:23:46,502 --> 00:23:47,882 Hurry. Come and have a look. 518 00:23:47,982 --> 00:23:50,722 I just think we've gone a little bit far enough. 519 00:23:50,822 --> 00:23:52,822 Oh, wow! 520 00:23:54,502 --> 00:23:55,921 I look great. 521 00:23:56,021 --> 00:23:58,921 Really great. I seriously think I look younger. 522 00:23:59,021 --> 00:24:00,761 What did I tell you? It never fails. 523 00:24:00,861 --> 00:24:02,281 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 524 00:24:02,381 --> 00:24:04,121 This is how I look in my mind 525 00:24:04,221 --> 00:24:06,441 before I look in the mirror. 526 00:24:06,541 --> 00:24:09,220 You'll keep. (CHUCKLES) Stop. 527 00:24:10,460 --> 00:24:12,560 Now, this over here is amazing. 528 00:24:12,660 --> 00:24:14,360 Ah, ah, don't touch... Oh, look! 529 00:24:14,460 --> 00:24:16,440 I told you. I spent a long time on that. 530 00:24:16,540 --> 00:24:19,319 I'm sorry. Oh, look at this little crocodile. He's cute. 531 00:24:19,419 --> 00:24:20,639 Mm, his name's Jeff. 532 00:24:20,739 --> 00:24:22,479 He's the only animal left in my private zoo 533 00:24:22,579 --> 00:24:24,859 after Hugo let all the other ones out. 534 00:24:25,979 --> 00:24:27,519 Oh, shit. 535 00:24:27,619 --> 00:24:29,619 (CASSIE CALLS OUT SOFTLY) Andy! 536 00:24:30,538 --> 00:24:32,538 Andy! 537 00:24:32,858 --> 00:24:34,598 - Andy! - (WHISPERS) What are you doing? 538 00:24:34,698 --> 00:24:38,238 Get back inside. Get back inside. 539 00:24:38,338 --> 00:24:41,078 (CALLS SOFTLY) It's Jeff. Jeff! 540 00:24:41,178 --> 00:24:42,357 Jeff's a crocodile! 541 00:24:42,457 --> 00:24:44,037 I can't... I can't hear you. 542 00:24:44,137 --> 00:24:46,837 It's Jeff. The crocodile. 543 00:24:46,937 --> 00:24:48,937 Oh, my God, who's Jeff? 544 00:24:49,817 --> 00:24:50,757 Behind you. 545 00:24:50,857 --> 00:24:52,077 (WATER SPLASHES) 546 00:24:52,177 --> 00:24:54,216 (GROWLS) 547 00:25:02,096 --> 00:25:03,516 (GROWLS) 548 00:25:03,616 --> 00:25:05,615 Fuck you, Jeff! 549 00:25:07,295 --> 00:25:10,415 (DIDGERIDOO MUSIC) 550 00:25:25,654 --> 00:25:28,953 (LAIDBACK MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY) 551 00:25:29,053 --> 00:25:32,193 (PATRONS CHATTER INDISTINCTLY) 552 00:25:32,293 --> 00:25:35,753 Do you think Noel knew I was coming? 553 00:25:35,853 --> 00:25:37,793 Maybe he's taunting you 554 00:25:37,893 --> 00:25:40,912 like the Riviera Postcard Bandit from 1977. 555 00:25:41,012 --> 00:25:42,352 Who's that? Never mind. 556 00:25:42,452 --> 00:25:46,152 Don't tell me. I can already sense that it's irrelevant. 557 00:25:46,252 --> 00:25:48,992 I think Hugo was in that shed, but he was moved 558 00:25:49,092 --> 00:25:51,791 and Noel put that dummy in there to mess with you. 559 00:25:51,891 --> 00:25:54,631 So, now we just have to figure out where Noel moved him. 560 00:25:54,731 --> 00:25:57,411 GERALDINE: Oh, yeah, I'd love a beer. Thanks, Val. 561 00:26:01,291 --> 00:26:02,431 - Mm. - LEON: Oh, look out. 562 00:26:02,531 --> 00:26:03,830 - GERALDINE: Mm! - LEON: What's she doing here? 563 00:26:03,930 --> 00:26:05,930 Mm! That's better. 564 00:26:06,250 --> 00:26:08,790 Gonna make this little announcement a bit easier. 565 00:26:08,890 --> 00:26:11,110 (CHUCKLES) Alright, can I have a bit of quiet? 566 00:26:11,210 --> 00:26:12,350 (MUSIC SHUTS OFF) 567 00:26:12,450 --> 00:26:13,470 Hugo's been found. 568 00:26:13,570 --> 00:26:15,549 (ALL GROAN AND SIGH) 569 00:26:15,649 --> 00:26:17,949 - How good's that? - Uh, where is he? 570 00:26:18,049 --> 00:26:19,189 Let me finish. 571 00:26:19,289 --> 00:26:21,429 His body. 572 00:26:21,529 --> 00:26:23,589 Hugo's been found dead. 573 00:26:23,689 --> 00:26:25,968 LEON: Well, that's no good, hey? 574 00:26:27,088 --> 00:26:29,388 GERALDINE: That's why you don't interrupt. 575 00:26:29,488 --> 00:26:32,888 ('OPEN HEART SURGERY' BY THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE) 576 00:26:57,486 --> 00:27:01,025 ♪ I feel like letting you know 577 00:27:01,125 --> 00:27:04,025 ♪ Oh, oh 578 00:27:04,125 --> 00:27:07,585 ♪ How much I love you today 579 00:27:07,685 --> 00:27:09,365 ♪ Ay-ay... ♪ 41353

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