All language subtitles for The Dukes of Hazzard S04E18 Miz Tisdale on the Lam_track3_[eng]

- Let her rip.

The Dukes go all out to keep
Miz Tisdale out of jail.

Eat dust, you turkey.

Get the plug.

It's a crazy town.

Hang on, Jesse.

Yeow! Yee-haw!

Ooh, this is the best part.

[Waylon Jennings
singing "Good Ol' Boys"]

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw
Been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain
might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little
bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change
if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like
two modern-day Robin Hood ♪♪

'Yee-haw!'

Hazzard County, where there are certain basics

that you can count on.

The law of gravity
for instance.

That says that any car
that goes up

usually comes back down.

The Duke family.
They all do all bad things.

And Miz Emma Tisdale,
she delivers the US mail

with lots of tender,
lovin' care.

In addition to being
the postmistress

Miz Tisdale is also the hottest two-wheeler in town.

Miz Emma cooks.

She also happens to be awful sweet to ol' Uncle Jesse.

Hi, Jesse.

Emma, you be careful
on that thing.

You're gonna
get yourself hurt.

Mail's gotta go through.

Miz Tisdale sure has her hook
made it for you.

Why don't you give
her a lil' break

and invite her to
that next Grange dance, huh?

Why don't you just
keep your eyes on the road.

And if ol' Bo keeps
his eye on the road

he's gonna see
somethin' mighty strange.

Even for Hazzard.

Where'd that phony double
white line come from?

What?

Guess who's here?

Cletus.

Oh, dang, dang, dang!
That Grange meetin'

took longer than
I thought it would.

I'm late for my chores now.

That's all I gotta hear,
Uncle Jesse. Y'all hang on.

Cletus is all wet.
He'll drip dry.

- I think so.
- Alright, Bo.

Mornin', Mr. Smith, guess you're
here to pick up your mail.

Yeah, that's right.

Another load of mail came in
for ya this mornin'.

There ya are.
All addressed to box 16.

Thanks.

Hold it.

Identification, please?

I've been comin' in here
every mornin' for a week now.

Regulations. Sorry.

Okay, take a number.

I'm the only one in here.

I know. Regulations.

Number one.

You're next.
Take it away.

Hey.

You know, you sure
got me curious.

All that mail comin'
in here every day.

What's it for?

Ah, ah, ah.
Regulations.

Regulations can be a nuisance

but this is one time
I think it's gonna pay off.

Miz Tisdale ain't just fast.
She's smart.

And she ain't the only
one curious about this fella.

What's he doin' hangin'
around that ol' sawmill?

Alright, come on in, Slocum.

Uh-huh, it figures. Anything nefarious and illegal

ol' Boss Hogg's gonna have

his fat little
paws in it somewheres.

Oh, that's it
Oh, I love it.

Let's see.

- Ooh, look at all this.
- Look at this.

Ah! We're running in luck now.

- Yeah.

And all 'em ads
in 'em out-of-town newspaper

like this.

"Own a piece of paradise,
just mail in $100

"to P.O. Box 16,
Hazzard County and you--

"And you will receive

a genuine official
land gold certificate--"

I can read.

"Proclaiming your ownership
of a beautiful view lot

"in the most
scenic spot in Dixie.

Hazzard Highlands."

There ain't
no Hazzard Highlands.

Now, you just
get back to work

stuffin' them certificates
in them envelopes.

You know them fancy
certificates we just printed up.

We wanna give them suckers
somethin' for their $100.

Alright, Flash,
Now you start lickin'

and we're gonna lick our
way right into fifty percent

of the fortune.

Or, is it..

...fifty percent
of fifty percent?

Meanwhile, Bo and Luke
had dropped Jesse and Daisy

off at the farm.

and they were headin' into town using the back route.

Uh-oh. That looks like
the sheriff comin' overland.

'Oh, my gosh! Are you alright?'

'I-I didn't mean
to cut you off like that.'

Oh, I'm awfully sorry, uh,
I'm afraid I wasn't

really watching
where I was drivin'.

'
- Yeah, we're fine now.

Doop, that ain't the sheriff.

Oh, uh, I-I'm Bo Duke
and this is my cousin, Luke.

- Hi. Sue Ann. Sue Ann Blake.
- Pleased to meet ya.

Gee, maybe you fellas
can help me?

Oh, well, you can
just think of us as the..

...Ha-Hazzard County
welcome wagon.

Well, I've been lookin'
all over for a place

called Hazzard Highlands
and I haven't had a bit of luck.

Hazzard Highlands?

I bought a lot there with the
most beautiful view ever seen.

The view from
here's pretty good.

Mighty pretty certificate,
but we've been livin' here

and I never heard no place
called Hazzard Highlands.

- 'No.'

But tell you what being as
we're almost neighbors and all

I'd be willing
to help you find it.

I'll drive. Luke, you stay
here and watch the car.

That's fine, really. Thanks,
but I think I'll manage.

And I'm sorry again
about the accident.

- Hey, no problem.
- Thank you.

It's alright.
Excuse me.

Back at his hideout, Boss was receivin' a phone call

that made him
lose his appetite.

Which usually requires
somethin' like a war..

...or bankruptcy.

What's wrong, Boss?

Somethin' rotten
in your fat burger?

No, fathead. Something's rotten
at Capital City.

I just got tipped off

that a US postal inspector
is on his way

down here to Hazzard

to investigate some kind
of mail fraud. Mm-mm-mm.

Mail fraud?
Wooie!

Hold your tongue.
They're onto us.

Slocum, you're gonna
have to blow town.

You're the only link between
us and that post office box.

What about that old bat that
works there? She knows.

'Miz Tisdale Little Bit?'

Yeah, she know you, but
she knows you as Mr. John Smith.

Yeah, that's why I gave
you that ID card

with a phony name and address.

You see, I told you
the Boss is always thinkin'.

Listen, that US postal inspector
fella ain't gonna rest happy

until he nails somebody, right?

Right.

'What if we made it look
like this whole operation'

was being run by none
other than the aforesaid

Miz Tisdale.

You got it.

But, listen, if we're
gonna pin it on--

Yeah, don't say it out loud.

Alright, Slocum,
get on your way

and don't show your face
around here again, hear me?

Get out of here,
Slocum.

- I got my appetite back again.
- Oh, so have I.

Uh-uh-uh.
You ain't got time to eat.

No, you're on your way
to the post office.

And when Miz Tisdale
ain't lookin'

you're gonna plant this here
incriminating evidence

all over the place.

You stay here
and watch the hooter.

Sheriff, am I glad
to see you.

I'd be mighty appreciative
if you would mind the place.

I gotta run over to Cooter's
with my 'cycle.

Over to Cooter's? Well, I don't
know if I can..

- Hey!

I'm due for
my thousand mile checkup.

Be sure you get the IDs
and make 'em take a number.

Well, I'll..

Quick as the devil.

Well, this is gonna be easier
than fallin' off Boss' wallet.

Let's see now.

Ooh, there..

Oh, oh, oh.
Quit gouging me.

Ooh..

Sheriff, you're just
the man I've been looking for.

I am? You are..

Would you, would you mind
taking a number, please?

My name is Blake.
US postal inspector.

Ooh, that's pretty. That's--

I'm investing a possible
mail fraud involving

a phony land development
called The Hazzard Highlands.

'
- Hazzard..

Hazzard..
No.

Yes. Of course not,
lady. You tell me. Here.

Well, where's the postal
mistress, Miz Emma Tisdale?

Well, I don't know. She
went out for a little bit.

Listen, uh, I don't want
to tell anybody else this

but, you know, she's been
acting awful suspicious lately.

That is one of
the reasons I'm in here.

I'm doing a little bit
of investigating on my own.

In fact,I was just
looking around here

when you came in
and gouged me.

Ooh, ooh, lookie, here,
what I done found.

What is that?

Hazzard Highlands. Wait..

You got one?
That's good.

You see what I see?

Oh, yeah, that car
belongs to that sweetheart

who gave you the brush-off.

If at first, you
don't succeed..

Howdy.

- And here.

- Yep.
- Look.

There's a mailing list.

Now, doesn't that
put the cow in the barn?

That definitely proves
Miz Tisdale is guilty.

Guilty of what?

I'll have to ask you
not to interfere.

This is an
official investigation.

'That's right. She's an official
government postal inspector.'

See, Miz Tisdale, she
is guilty of mail fraud.

And this is all
the evidence we need.

Mail fraud?
Miz Tisdale?

She's only guilty of
having a yen for Uncle Jesse.

Get on outta here before I
cuff you and stuff you

for interfering
with official business.

Just get on.

- We're leavin' anyway.
- We're going.

They just, they come in here
just to gall my soul.

I swear Boss Hogg's
gotta be involved in this.

We better tip off
Miz Tisdale.

You know, I think I saw her
going over towards Cooter's.

- Yeah.
- Alright.

Friends and neighbors,
you're about to meet

a member of Hazzard's oldest
and only Chinese family.

The Fongs.

Everybody loves Billy Joe
and his sister, Scarlet.

Well, hush my puppies! If it
ain't them good ol' Duke boys.

- Hey, Billy Joe.

I moseyed over here
to borrow Cooter's torch.

Got me a little welding
to do on my wok here.

- That's nice.

Wooie.
Take a look at that.

Miz Tisdale, while I'm
fixing up your motorcycle

you can use this one
here for a loaner.

I hope this doo-hickey
don't cut down on my speed.

You know how I like
to let her rip.

Miz Tisdale, there's a US postal
inspector at your post office.

Looks like her and Rosco are
gonna accuse you of mail fraud.

Me?
- You.

They gotta be sucking
out of a bent straw.

Well, that's kinda
what we figured, Miz Tisdale.

That frosts me. I'll toot over
there and straighten him out.

Uh, just hold on a second. It
looks like some sort of setup.

So we figured you
better lay low.

You can hide at our farm.

Hide out
No way, Jose.

Did you say your farm?

Yes, ma'am.

With your Uncle Jesse?

He's there
most of the time.

Woo.

Hey, y'all, Rosco's coming
out of the post office.

Miz Tisdale, get in the back
of the General Lee.

Yeah, come on.
Here, give me those.

Yeah, now just
hold on a second.

I got me an idea.
There you go, sweetheart.

Go.
- Woo-hoo!

Billy Joe, you are the closest
to Miz Tisdale's size.

You're gonna have to give us
a big favor here, alright?

Hot dang! You got it,
good buddy.

- Okay.

She said she was headed towards
Cooter's garage over there.

Look! In fact,
there she is right now.

Alright. You're
looking good now.

She's getting on, she's
getting on her motorcycle.

Oh..

- Looking good.
- Don't get fresh, y'all.

Alright, Miz Tisdale.
I see ya, ya little sneak.

Alright, come on.
Get outta here.

Hot pursuit.

We forgot to ask if he
could drive that thing.

Yee-haw!

Out of the way.

Now, this could get messy.
Y'all hang on.

I'm gonna go look up that word warp to see what that fella

was wailing on.

Yee-haw!

Okay, y'all, anything else
I can do for you?

What the hoot's going on?

Look, Miz Tisdale, everything's
cool. Now stay low. Get down.

- We catch ya on the flipside.
- Yeah. Alright, see you.

It's a crazy town.

I never noticed.

Uh, not now, Flash.
We're in hot pursuit.

We'll catch that
speedin' little dillinger.

Inspector, you haven't
met Flash, have you?

Inspector, this is Flash.
Flash, this is inspector.

Officer Coltrane, do you always
have this dog riding with you?

Well, I didn't used to.
Cletus used to.

But she has
a higher IQ, you see.

You should say hello
to the inspector.

Look out!

That must have
scuffed my vehicle.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire must've been

invented for the Duke boys.

Yup. That's Cletus.

He he.

'Put some pedal on the metal.'

What a time for Cletus
to show up!

- Miz Tisdale, stay down now.
- 'Oh, I am. I am.'

Oh-oh..

Now, friends, you're about
to witness a homily.

Just 'cause things go bad,
watch your mouth

or they'll get worse.

Well, I hope Cletus' got
his drip-dry uniform on.

He ain't gonna need
his 24-hour deodorant

if he keeps taking
showers like this.

Ever see a man look like
he'd bitten into an apple

and found half a worm
and didn't wanna let on?

Well, that's ol' Uncle Jesse's predicament.

Now, Jesse, he's a gentleman.

Right off, he did his best to make Miz Tisdale feel welcome.

Emma, I want you to know
that our house is your house.

- And you're sure welcome.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's so sweet of you,
Jesse, and thank you, Daisy.

- Sure.
- Don't you worry about a thing.

We'll find out who's trying
to pin that land deal on you.

And if my suspicions
are right, I got a feeling

his initials are gonna
turn out to be J.D. Hogg.

'What else is new?'

Y'all, Billy Joe made it.

Billy Joe, stash
that cycle up in the barn

and we'll give you
a ride back to town.

Y'all got it, good buddy.

He's some piece of work.

Listen, we better
head back into town

and find that
gal postal inspector

and talk
some sense into her.

And make sure that she's running
my post office in a fit manner.

Don't worry about it,
Miz Tisdale. Okay?

Just, uh, make
yourself at home.

Yeah, don't worry.

Uncle Jesse here is gonna take
good care of you, Miz Tisdale.

I'll see y'all.

You know, Jesse, I'm just
dying to see your room.

Uh, yeah. Uh..

Oh, look at that.

- A big bowlful of popcorn.
- Yummy, yummy.

You know something?

I never would have guessed
that a US postal inspector

would turn out to be female.

Ain't that nice?

You know..
Hey, watch that, will ya.

You know something?

Like you said, everybody knows
that Miz Tisdale

has never been
in trouble with the law.

But everybody also knows
she's a little bit squirrely.

I mean, riding on a motorcycle
at her age and doing wheelies.

Hm. There's no telling what
she might be capable of.

- She's crazy as a kook.
- Mm-hm.

Mr. Hogg, I seriously doubt
that Miz Tisdale is capable

of operating this entire mail
fraud operation all by herself.

You do?

'Well, there has to be others
involved. Don't you agree?'

What others?
What others?

Huh! I don't know
but I intend

to do some investigating
and find out.

No, no!

Will you call me
if you hear anything?

Now, wait a minute!
Don't go.

- Now wait a minute. Don't go.
- Don't go.

- Listen, you come back.
- Come back.

Oh, great..

- Oh, oh!
- Oh, no, no!

Turn it off!
What's this lever here?

I broke it.
I broke the thing.

Turn it off!
Turn if off, will ya.

Turn it off!

Where's the..
Where's the..

Get the plug, will ya.

Get the plug!
Where's the plug?

Where's the plug for it?

Turn it off! Oh! Ah!

Hello!

Hey, Sue Ann,
we gotta talk to you.

I don't care what kind of
evidence Rosco's got.

There's no way Miz Tisdale
dreamed up Hazzard Highlands.

What we figured
you should do

is go talk to this
John Smith fella.

He's been picking up
the packages at Miz Tisdale's.

With a name like John Smith,
he's gotta be using a phony ID.

How do you know
who's picking up the mail?

'And when were you talking
to Miz Tisdale?'

Sue Ann, Miz Tisdale
is a friend of the family.

We know the situation
here in the county.

Isn't there any way
we can work together?

I insist both of you
stay out of this.

I trust I've made
myself perfectly clear.

Good day, gentlemen.

Oh, my! Lookie, lookie.
Do you see what I see?

- Yeah.
- Listen.

If that female inspector
is so sure

that someone else is in on that
mail fraud with Miz Tisdale

let's just accommodate her.

- Accommodate her.
- Come on. Come on.

The only decent lead we got
is this John Smith fella.

- Let's talk with Miz Tisdale.
- Alright.

- Now, Rosco.

- Like I said.
- Yup!

You take this
here incriminating evidence.

- Yeah.
- Alright. Go to the Duke farm.

You plant that
all over the place.

Ooh, yeah. Plant.

And then when you're
finished, you call in

and I'll come running
with that inspector gal.

Then we'll catch
the whole caboodle.

The whole caboodle.

- Alright, get moving.
- Alright.

First, I'm going to plug this in
and have myself a snack.

Argh! Rosco, I'll pop you!
No, don't do that!

Turn it off, will ya.

What did you do that for?
Where's the plug?

Where's the plug? Turn it off!
Turn it off, will ya.

Find out anything?

We didn't find out a lot

but we did get
a Capital City Gazette.

If you'll look in section two

you'll see an ad for
Hazzard Highlands lots.

I'll call Scoop,
see if he can fill us in.

'Give me Scoop Whittman
at the Capital City Gazette.'

What you..

That's Miz Tisdale's.
Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Boss, this is Rosco P. Coltrane.
All conditions are go.

I'll meet you
at Ol' Mill Crossroad.

I'm gone.

- Come on. Oh, there you are.
- Mr. Hogg.

My sheriff found her,
just like I said.

- Get in here.

No, no, not you.
Get in there.

- I got it.
- There you are. Get in here.

Come on,
we're going after them.

Oh, thanks, Scoop.
Really appreciate it.

- Dang it!

- John Smith again.

The gal who took the ad said she
can't remember how he looks

and that he paid cash.
No receipt, no check, nothing.

If all 'em suckers
are payin' 100 bucks a shot

that fella's
gotta be loaded with cash.

If J.D.'s involved,
he sure is a-layin' low.

There's Rosco. Pull up to him.

- Good news, good news.

Miz Tisdale's hiding out
on the Duke farm.

Oh, Miz Tisdale at Duke Farm.
Good, good, good!

Alright. Now, Inspector Blake.

I'm gonna show you
how the law in Hazzard operates.

Watch this.
You're gonna love it.

Ma'am, we're gonna use
a flank in movement.

- We're gonna spread out.

And then we're gonna sneak up
on 'em from both sides.

- Oh, yeah! Then just squeeze!

That's it.

Alright. Go. Move it, Rosco!
Move it.

- Maintain the radio silent.
- Right!

- Turn off the CB.
- Right.

- I'm ready.

Let's go.
Rosco, Come on.

- 'He's going that way.'
- 'We're going this way.'

'You go that way.
Come on.'

Cletus, sure you got
your CB turned off?

Positive, Boss.
There's a little button here.

Pressed the wrong button.

- You pushed the wrong button.
- It's stuck!

- Oh oh!
- Y'all, it's a raid.

Pea-brain Coltrane must've
figured out Miz Tisdale's here.

Listen, Uncle Jesse

Daisy'll take the jeep,
we'll take the General.

We'll do some cover for you.

Take Miz Tisdale,
make a run for it.

- Let's go.
- Alright!

Geronimo!

'This is the part
I love best!'

No! Let's take my motorcycle.
It's faster.

Now, you sure you know
how to ride this thing?

Jesse, get in and don't forget
to put on your helmet.

'Cause I ain't moving
until you do.

Now hang on, Jesse.
Here we go.

Alright! As long as
this thing is on.

Rosco, they're running for it.
Get after 'em.

Get after 'em.

Here we go!

Hang on Jesse! Hang on!

You just keep your hands
on those metal bars.

Luke, trouble up ahead.

Why should things
change now?

Get away. Go!

Well, Bo and Luke are the first line of defense.

What you reckon they'll do?

Get it! On the way!
Don't hit it.

Oh no, you don't, Cletus.

No, you go right..

That Daisy! Not bad
for a girl, huh?

'I tell you, I'm made of steel.'

'Cletus, you bumbling..'

'I'm driving back.'

Go on, move it fast!

'Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!'

Ain't this fun, Jesse?

Go, Miz Tisdale. Go!

Yee-haw!

Eat dust, you turkey!

You keep your eye
on the road, woman.

- Blast it!
- Oh!

You know that girl's getting
herself an education.

You're all wet.

After they got through
congratulating themselves

on their escape, Miz Tisdale
and the Dukes realized

that they were
all fugitives now.

And with the US mail involved

that made it a federal rap.

I feel awful about getting you
nice folks in this mess.

Y'all can go to jail
just for helpin' me.

Emma, don't worry about it.
What are friends for?

We'll get you out of this mess
soon as we find a hideout.

Cooter's is out.
Everybody'll look for us there.

Billy Joe Fong.

He offered to help
and he's got that storeroom

right behind his CB shop.

- You got it!
- That's a good idea.

'Let's hit it!'

Uh, Emma, it's fun and all

but I think I'm gonna ride
with the boys.

Keep your helmet on, Jesse.
We're blastin' off.

Wait, wait.
Will ya hold it just out here.

And so the hole in the barn
gang stashed their vehicles

and came sneakin' into town.

And the boys were right.

Billy Joe Fong was thrilled
to put 'em up.

Yes, siree, Bob.

There ain't nothing like good ol' southern hospitality.

Y'all make yourself
to home now, y'hear?

Set yourselves down.
I'll whoop you up a fine dinner.

Southern fried wonton,
sweet and sour hog chows

and chitlin chow mein.

You ain't lived till you try to eat grits with chopsticks.

It's kind of you, Billy Joe, but
we got our own cookin' to do.

We ain't yet hooked that
John Smith up to Boss Hogg.

- Let's go get that sucker.
- Hold your horses a second.

What with Rosco following us

ain't no tellin'
what's gonna happen.

You'd be better off
staying here.

Yeah, you'll be safer here.

Well, if you say so, but
I'm too nervous to stay alone.

You know, you might've hit on
somethin' there.

Uncle Jesse, you can run
the whole operation from here

over the CB.
We'll see ya later.

Uh, boys?
Uh, uh, Daisy?

Uncle Jesse, things will be
nice and cozy for y'all here.

Hurry back, yeah?

Alright, go on, go on.
Go on, go on, go on.

Go on, go on, go on.

Hold it. Hold it.
Alright.

Well, gentlemen,
you have shown me

how the law
in Hazzard operates, alright.

That was without a doubt
the most ludicrous, outrageous

asinine police operation
I have ever seen.

You enjoy hot pursuit, huh?

Thank you very much, ma'am.
We try to please.

You were born stupid and you've
been losing ground ever since.

- I was--
- Hush.

If you want me,
I'll be in the post office.

- Yeah, alright, then. Alright.
- Nice drivin' with you.

Cletus, will you just hush
your dipstick.

Boss, it's all
his fault, anyway.

Oh, dipstick, huh?

I'll have you know dipsticks
are rich 'cause they're in oil.

Now just hush,
hush, both of you!

I mean, you're a disgrace
to the uniform, you know that?

- Look at you.
- You go get cleaned up.

Both of you,
go round up the Dukes.

Don't worry about it.
We'll cover all the crossroads.

Well, I'm bringing in
reinforcements of my own.

Oh, you are?

Uh, reinforcements?
Did you say reinforcements?

- I'm calling Slocum.

To come here with some muscle.

Of course, when 'em mail sacks
with money for Hazzard Highlands

arrive at the post office
tomorrow morning at 8

I aim to make it
a very special delivery.

Ooh, special delivery,
I love it.

Ooh!

Ooh, ooh.

Unaware that Boss was bringin' in reinforcements

the Duke dragnet spread out high and low

tryin' to find out
Boss' hideout

without gettin'
caught themselves.

Daisy went to
the ol' Indian caves.

Bo and Luke scouted
Boss' ol' steel sites.

There's nothing
but snakes and cobwebs here

at the ol' Indian caves.

There's no luck up here
in ol' Boss Hogg's steel site.

Oh, dang, I was hopin'
you'd find them there.

Well, you better go on
to the ol' coffin works.

'

'Oh, not you, not you.
Get-get-get goin'.

Well, as you can see,
the searching party

wasn't having any more luck
than Miz Tisdale.

But Rosco and Cletus
must have stepped in

a mess of four-leaf clovers.

Out huntin' for 'em Dukes

they got luckier than
a rabbit with six feet.

Ooh, ooh, ooh..

Cletus, there they are.

Alright, let's block the road.

Good, this is the best part.

We got us
a roadblock up ahead.

Hang on.

No, not again!

Looks like Cletus ain't gonna
need that Sunday bath

for another couple of months.

Y'all should have seen
ol' Cletus in the gym class.

So when the dawn broke over
Hazzard like thunder

the hunt continued
for the Hogg hideout.

And Boss' reinforcements
were right on schedule.

'Now, didn't Miz Tisdale say'

'that John Smith fella
was drivin' a blue sedan?'

- Yeah.
- Let's go get him.

'Alright.'

Come on.

That mail truck always arrives
at the Hazzard Post Office

at 8 a.m. sharp.

- Well, we'll be there.
- That's right.

Yeah, the only thing
wrong is

you boys still can't show
your faces around here.

Now, we got all that covered.

Perfect. You boys think
of everything, don't you?

Alright, now..

...after you boys
grab 'em mail bags

here's what
we're gonna do.

There's somebody out there.

Shh, quick, quick,
put your mask on.

I think we're about to have
a Hazzard confrontation.

Two on two.

Hey!

Bo, he's got a gun!

Easy. What you guys
got against us anyway?

Can we talk this over?

Bad news, bad news.

What a lousy time for those
Duke boys to show up, right?

- Wrong.

Yeah. This couldn't
have been better

if I had wished it
from the tooth fairy.

Are you kiddin' me?
Why would you wish--

Oh, will you just wait,
watch, and learn?

Alright, good work, boys.
Good work.

Now, this turn
of events means

we're gonna change
our plans a little bit.

We ain't gonna forget
the heist?

No, siree, Bob.
Not on your life.

What we're gonna do is

we're gonna be able to pin this
whole stickup on the Duke boys.

Hey, Nelson, you go in there
and grab one of their wallets.

I got it. We're gonna drop it
when we make the hit.

'Yeah, you got it, alright.'

What are you doing?

You got it?

- Here you go.
- Oh, good.

That's right.

Well, they won't be
needin' this no more.

Alright, here you are, Bo Duke.

Bo Duke!

'Make sure you accidently drop
that thing during the grab.'

- Right.
- Hm-hm.

Alright, now, come on.

Let's see if we can find
that clunker car of theirs.

Uh, we just gotta
give it a tune down.

You know what I mean?
Just in case.

- They left us our knives.
- Ha ha ha.

- Here it is.
- Yep.

Alright, get that hood up
and start pullin'.

- Go on, everything outta there.
- Just strip it outta there.

'I don't want nothin'
to work in this.'

Now that's like assaulting
a member of the family.

- Gimme that. Gimme that.
- Be careful.

Trust me.

Well, that takes care
of that clunker car.

Alright now. Come on,
let's get a move on.

It's time to play post office.

Do you ever think about
sharpening this thing?

Here you go.
Well, here, lemme do that.

Ride back to town.

What you suppose they took
my wallet for?

I got three bucks in it.

It also
had your ID in it.

They might be setting us up
for somethin'.

We still ain't figured a way
to pin Boss Hogg in with this.

Not until now, we ain't.

Does that look familiar?

Woo!

It can't be more
that 8 o'clock.

What's Boss Hogg doing floating
around here that early?

8 o'clock!
Bo, we're slowing down.

What's 8 o'clock
gotta do with anything?

8 o'clock is when the mail's
delivered to the post office.

Somebody's gotta go in there
and pick up bags of $100 bills.

That's right,
now let's get outta here.

Now when Boss gets up early

it means trouble for everybody.

And this time,
it's the US mail.

Oh, would you look at that.

Those dirty crooks done
wreck the General.

They tore this engine
clean apart.

Yeah.

Hey, wait a minute.

- Here's the spark wire.
- Distributor.

- The air cleaner here.
- Couple more wires over here.

Let's try to find all the parts
and stick 'em back together.

Alright.

Ah, here's another wire.

Look, I'll start with this.
You keep looking.

'10-4.'

You got that
Duke fella's wallet?

- Yeah.
- Alright.

All ready for the drop.

Morning.
8 a.m., right on time.

Ah! I'll get it.

Alright, sugar.
I'll take that.

Now, wait a minute.
This is the US mail.

Cool it, honey,
and you won't get hurt.

We seen it.

Yeah, we seen 'em rob the mail.

Yeah, we saw the whole
pea-picking thing.

One of 'em dropped this wallet.
It belongs to Bo Duke.

See, I knew it.
It was those Duke boys.

Look at that.
It is Bo Duke.

Oh, my. Don't you worry
now, Inspector Blake.

We'll catch 'em thieving Dukes.

- We will.
- Come on, sheriff.

We are goin' to.

And she thought it was gonna be easy when she left Atlanta.

Alright, say your prayers
and turn her over.

- Hey, hey.
- 'Dang, we did it.'

Nab it.

Wouldn't you think
'em boys could call in?

Argh!

Rosco, you know everything's
working out just perfect now.

Oh, gyuh, gyuh, gyuh.

Now, as soon as we get
back to the hideout

I'll take over 'em mail bags,
pay off 'em two stooges.

- And send 'em on their way.
- On their way.

And then I'll arrest the Duke
boys for stealing the US mail.

Yeah.

Then they sure gonna be shipped
off to the federal pen.

Ship 'em off.

'Deputy Cletus
calling sheriff. Over.'

'Calling sheriff, Duke boys just
robbed the post office.'

'Come on, sheriff.'

Held up the post office!

'Em boys wouldn't do
something like that.

What in tarnation's
goin' on out there?

There's only one way
to find out. Let's get crackin'.

Looks like Jesse's in more
trouble than Bo and Luke.

'Sheriff Rosco Coltrane..'

Luke, you were so right
about that frame-up.

Now, we gotta catch
'em fellas. Come on.

Duke boys just robbed
the post office, sheriff.

Oh, why don't you tell me what
to do? I don't know what to do.

Duke boys robbed post office.

- Not on your life.

Look out, Cletus.

You know, it's a wonder
ol' Cletus don't grow gills.

I gotta get a wet suit.

Now then, here we go.

First of, the bad boys were
heading back to the hideout

to divvy up the money
with ol' Boss and Rosco.

And the postal lady,
bless her lil' ol' heart

was trying to stop all this.

And Jesse was facing
a true test of manhood.

Riding with Miz Tisdale..

Hang on.

...again.

And Bo and Luke,
who just got free

were heading back to town
when..

That's 'em.

- No! Oh, no.
- Woo!

'Go after 'em.'

'Em Duke boys.
Step on it.

Now we got everybody going
in the same direction.

Ain't that slick?

Careful now.

Alright, Duke boys.
Just pull it over.

'This is ol' Rosco.'

They didn't hear you.
Scream it out the window.

Pull it up.

- They can't hear..
- Oh!

'Pull it over now.
I'm serious now.'

'Alright, alright,
come in..'

That's showin' him Rosco.

Slow down now, Emma.

Yee-haw!

Now just watch it, Emma.

What's that?

'It's the post office lady.
She is loony.'

'Hang on, Jesse.'

What are you
thinkin' of doing?

Yeow! Yee-haw!

No!

Whoa!

'Emma!'

Bo, I seen it.
But I do not believe it.

Alright, come on out.

Rosco, grab 'em Duke boys.

And arrest them under charge
of mail fraud and robbery.

I got the evidence right here.

Hold on a second, Boss.

We found us a piece of evidence
over at your hideout site.

'I think it'll be mighty
incriminating in court.'

- Oh, damn.
'

Oh, Inspector Blake.

See, we found 'em
dangerous criminals, didn't we?

'Rosco, you cuff 'em
and stuff 'em.'

And as quick as
you can say double cross

ol' Boss did a switch.

He not only turned over
Slocum and his pal in

as the two masked crooks
that framed the Dukes

but he laid off
the mail fraud on 'em too.

'Hundred dollars.'

In return, Bo and Luke agreed

not to blow the whistle
on ol' Boss

if he sent all the money
back to the people he bilked

in his mail scam.

Another $100.

And as for Miz Tisdale

not only did she receive
a commendation

but Jesse admired her
gumption so much

that he finally broke down

and invited her to go out cat-fishing with him.

It wasn't even fishing
season in Hazzard County.

I know I carry on a lot, Jesse

but you've made me feel
60 again. Thank you.

I sure do like happy endings.

Don't everybody?