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1
00:00:07,904 --> 00:00:09,322
[nobles laughing]
2
00:00:10,490 --> 00:00:13,576
{\an8}- [noble 1] Little tittle, darling?
- [noble 2] I thought you'd never ask.
3
00:00:14,244 --> 00:00:16,454
[both laughing]
4
00:00:18,248 --> 00:00:20,291
- Mmm.
- Oh, Saltley, stop it.
5
00:00:26,923 --> 00:00:30,009
Massive diamond, darling? [chuckles]
6
00:00:30,009 --> 00:00:31,302
Oh.
7
00:00:39,185 --> 00:00:41,396
[horses whinnying]
8
00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:46,609
- Hut! Giddyap! Hyah! Hut, hut!
- [gasps] Oh.
9
00:00:46,609 --> 00:00:47,986
What the devil is happening?
10
00:00:47,986 --> 00:00:51,614
Highwayman, sir. You're being robbed.
11
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,204
- What are we to do?
- Your dueling pistol.
12
00:00:58,204 --> 00:01:00,206
Ah, yes. Of course.
13
00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:04,543
Here you go, driver. Good luck.
14
00:01:05,128 --> 00:01:06,963
I think you'll find mine's bigger.
15
00:01:07,797 --> 00:01:09,632
- [hammer cocks]
- Good Lord.
16
00:01:10,884 --> 00:01:13,720
- We'll have to make a run for it.
- I'm not sure I could in this dress.
17
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,305
What have you done with my wife?
18
00:01:15,305 --> 00:01:16,639
- [wife] I'm over here.
- [grunts]
19
00:01:17,557 --> 00:01:19,142
[grunts]
20
00:01:21,853 --> 00:01:22,979
Who the devil are you?
21
00:01:22,979 --> 00:01:25,523
Darling, it's Dick Turpin.
22
00:01:26,482 --> 00:01:30,528
Oh! Well, why didn't you say? Marvelous.
23
00:01:30,528 --> 00:01:33,531
Simply everybody wants
to be robbed by Dick Turpin,
24
00:01:33,531 --> 00:01:36,826
the most famous and dashing highwayman
of all time.
25
00:01:36,826 --> 00:01:38,453
Here, have all my money.
26
00:01:38,453 --> 00:01:40,747
Have my trousers. In fact, have my wife.
27
00:01:40,747 --> 00:01:42,040
I'm off. Bye.
28
00:01:42,707 --> 00:01:44,751
- [screams]
- Strange man.
29
00:01:45,335 --> 00:01:48,504
Madam, it's been an absolute pleasure
robbing you blind.
30
00:01:49,214 --> 00:01:50,298
What about a proper kiss?
31
00:01:50,298 --> 00:01:53,343
I'd love to. It's just that I've realized
there's no one driving the coach.
32
00:01:53,343 --> 00:01:55,178
One small kiss couldn't hurt.
33
00:01:55,178 --> 00:01:57,680
Mmm. [moans, kisses]
34
00:01:58,348 --> 00:01:59,390
[person] Oi, Turpin.
35
00:02:00,141 --> 00:02:02,727
Wake up.
Think you're dreaming again, mate.
36
00:02:02,727 --> 00:02:04,062
[wife] It's Dick Turpin.
37
00:02:04,062 --> 00:02:05,688
[Saltley] Everybody wants to be
robbed by Dick Turpin.
38
00:02:05,688 --> 00:02:07,357
[grunts, groans]
39
00:02:07,357 --> 00:02:08,899
You were talking in your sleep again.
40
00:02:08,899 --> 00:02:11,152
At one point, you tried to kiss me,
you weirdo.
41
00:02:11,152 --> 00:02:13,154
[chuckling] Really? How was that for you?
42
00:02:13,738 --> 00:02:15,323
Just grab your stuff. We're going.
43
00:02:15,323 --> 00:02:16,616
Great, is that lunch?
44
00:02:16,616 --> 00:02:18,451
No, you're about to be hanged.
45
00:02:18,451 --> 00:02:20,245
I see. And then lunch?
46
00:02:21,579 --> 00:02:23,540
[sighs] What an idiot.
47
00:02:24,457 --> 00:02:26,459
[theme music playing]
48
00:02:55,321 --> 00:02:57,699
Professional mourner for your hanging, sir?
49
00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,868
- What you got for me?
- Ah, special offer.
50
00:02:59,868 --> 00:03:03,079
Two sad hags and a boy in low spirits.
Half a crown?
51
00:03:03,079 --> 00:03:05,582
Mmm, he doesn't look that sad.
52
00:03:05,582 --> 00:03:06,833
Okay.
53
00:03:07,834 --> 00:03:10,211
Well, how about
something from our genuine widow range?
54
00:03:10,211 --> 00:03:13,089
- [Dick] Now you're talking.
- Yeah. All recently bereaved.
55
00:03:13,089 --> 00:03:14,716
Real tears are standard.
56
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:17,510
Look at Margaret, sir. Look at Margaret.
57
00:03:17,510 --> 00:03:19,387
Classic resting sad face.
58
00:03:19,387 --> 00:03:21,222
- Sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.
59
00:03:21,222 --> 00:03:24,809
Love Margaret. Yes to Margaret.
Got yourself a deal.
60
00:03:24,809 --> 00:03:26,185
See you up there.
61
00:03:26,185 --> 00:03:31,107
[wails] Too soon!
62
00:03:31,608 --> 00:03:33,193
[wailing]
63
00:03:39,365 --> 00:03:41,284
Actually, Margaret,
save it till we get there.
64
00:03:41,284 --> 00:03:43,161
You're bringing the mood down
a little bit.
65
00:03:43,161 --> 00:03:44,370
Oh.
66
00:03:46,873 --> 00:03:52,837
There will now be
a short break for refreshments.
67
00:03:53,713 --> 00:03:54,631
What's going on?
68
00:03:54,631 --> 00:03:56,966
We're allowed a drink before they hang us.
69
00:03:56,966 --> 00:03:59,135
- Come on. I'm buying.
- [growls]
70
00:04:01,846 --> 00:04:05,475
Anyone not back on the coach
in the next half an hour,
71
00:04:05,475 --> 00:04:09,354
I will leave without you. Okay?
72
00:04:12,023 --> 00:04:15,401
Hello. My name's Poorly Martin,
and I shot a chicken.
73
00:04:15,985 --> 00:04:17,653
[all] Hello, Poorly Martin.
74
00:04:17,653 --> 00:04:19,364
Hello. My name's Lizzy Fish,
75
00:04:19,364 --> 00:04:21,282
and I threatened to set fire
to a hay bale.
76
00:04:21,282 --> 00:04:23,076
[all] Hello, Lizzy Fish.
77
00:04:23,076 --> 00:04:25,453
Wow, you really can get hanged
for anything these days. [chuckles]
78
00:04:25,453 --> 00:04:27,789
Hello. My name's Bill the Blade,
79
00:04:28,498 --> 00:04:31,084
and I killed 26 members of my own family.
80
00:04:35,630 --> 00:04:37,298
Hello, Bill the Blade.
81
00:04:38,007 --> 00:04:39,092
What about you?
82
00:04:39,092 --> 00:04:41,928
His name is Dick Turpin,
and he's a highwayman.
83
00:04:41,928 --> 00:04:44,639
- Who are you?
- My name is Eliza Bean and I'm a writer.
84
00:04:44,639 --> 00:04:47,725
Move over. I write true-crime stories.
85
00:04:47,725 --> 00:04:48,810
- Really?
- Yes.
86
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,729
I mean, I used to write
these beautiful plays, poems,
87
00:04:51,729 --> 00:04:53,106
but no one cared.
88
00:04:53,106 --> 00:04:55,608
You write about the most horrific murder
and people can't get enough of it.
89
00:04:55,608 --> 00:04:57,360
Why do you think that is, Eliza?
90
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,821
I don't know. I think people
are just fascinated by criminals.
91
00:05:00,697 --> 00:05:02,490
I think my readers would like
to hear your story.
92
00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:04,075
[Poorly] Well, there's not much to tell.
93
00:05:04,075 --> 00:05:05,827
I wasn't aiming for the chicken.
94
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:08,204
No, no, no. Not you, Poorly Martin.
95
00:05:08,204 --> 00:05:10,707
You. Dick Turpin.
96
00:05:10,707 --> 00:05:13,376
Dick Turpin. I've heard of you.
97
00:05:13,376 --> 00:05:16,296
You shot Tom King.
Shot his face right off.
98
00:05:17,797 --> 00:05:18,798
Nice work.
99
00:05:20,091 --> 00:05:22,260
Do you really think
people would like to hear my story?
100
00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:24,262
- Not really.
- [Poorly] Yes, please.
101
00:05:24,262 --> 00:05:25,889
My mum used to tell me stories.
102
00:05:25,889 --> 00:05:27,348
Come on, Dick. Spill the beans.
103
00:05:27,348 --> 00:05:30,184
I think people are gonna
find you fascinating.
104
00:05:30,184 --> 00:05:32,979
[chuckles] I don't know.
I feel a bit embarrassed. I--
105
00:05:32,979 --> 00:05:36,482
I was born to a butcher
in the village of Hempstead.
106
00:05:36,482 --> 00:05:38,568
Oh, God. I'm going for a piss.
107
00:05:42,155 --> 00:05:44,908
[Dick] I had a happy childhood,
and I loved my dad.
108
00:05:44,908 --> 00:05:48,912
But growing up, I realized that
the life of a butcher just wasn't for me.
109
00:05:51,164 --> 00:05:52,999
Have you killed that rabbit yet?
110
00:05:52,999 --> 00:05:56,628
No, but I have made this entire village
out of courgettes. [chuckles]
111
00:05:56,628 --> 00:05:58,630
Look at me and you, made out of peppers.
112
00:05:58,630 --> 00:06:01,382
There's you, looking angry.
Not quite as angry as you are now.
113
00:06:02,342 --> 00:06:04,177
How long did that take you?
114
00:06:04,177 --> 00:06:05,261
Nine hours.
115
00:06:06,679 --> 00:06:09,682
Well, when you finish that,
can you kill those swans?
116
00:06:09,682 --> 00:06:11,559
Not Carol and Sue, they're in love.
117
00:06:12,143 --> 00:06:14,145
I mean,
I don't even know how you kill a swan.
118
00:06:14,145 --> 00:06:17,398
Do you kick it? Do you chop it?
Do you hit it with a shoe?
119
00:06:17,398 --> 00:06:21,277
Sometimes I look at you and think,
"Do you even wanna be a butcher?"
120
00:06:21,277 --> 00:06:23,321
Of course I don't wanna be a butcher.
I'm a vegan.
121
00:06:23,321 --> 00:06:25,698
I've been saying this since I was five.
I love animals.
122
00:06:25,698 --> 00:06:28,826
[sighs] It's not my life, Dad.
It's your life. You know?
123
00:06:28,826 --> 00:06:30,745
Yeah, you always were a bit weird.
124
00:06:30,745 --> 00:06:34,123
Drawing, coming up with funny ideas,
wearing strange outfits.
125
00:06:34,123 --> 00:06:36,834
You're the weirdest of all my children.
126
00:06:36,834 --> 00:06:38,253
I'm an only child, Dad.
127
00:06:38,253 --> 00:06:41,089
[sighs] I just feel like
I'm destined to do something, you know?
128
00:06:41,089 --> 00:06:42,882
Something big, something creative.
129
00:06:44,008 --> 00:06:45,009
[clicks tongue] Well.
130
00:06:45,718 --> 00:06:49,305
If that's how you feel, I suppose
I could get your cousin Benny in.
131
00:06:49,305 --> 00:06:51,182
He loves killing animals.
132
00:06:51,182 --> 00:06:53,434
He's already done a few shifts
when you weren't around.
133
00:06:53,434 --> 00:06:54,978
- He's actually really good.
- I know.
134
00:06:54,978 --> 00:06:56,062
He loves meat.
135
00:06:56,062 --> 00:06:57,772
He loves talking about meat,
touching meat.
136
00:06:57,772 --> 00:06:59,107
He's got his own knives.
137
00:06:59,983 --> 00:07:01,901
Just get Benny, Dad.
It'll be better for you.
138
00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:04,487
You know, I'll go and follow my dreams.
[sighs]
139
00:07:04,487 --> 00:07:06,030
- [father] You're sure?
- Yeah.
140
00:07:06,030 --> 00:07:08,658
Well, I was gonna leave all this to you.
141
00:07:09,784 --> 00:07:13,454
Benny will have it now.
And, uh, your room.
142
00:07:13,454 --> 00:07:14,581
What about my stuff?
143
00:07:14,581 --> 00:07:18,001
Have to probably burn it.
Throw it into the street.
144
00:07:18,877 --> 00:07:20,003
[sighs] All right, Dad.
145
00:07:20,003 --> 00:07:23,673
Look, I'll just take these purple shoes
and my sewing machine.
146
00:07:23,673 --> 00:07:28,094
Right. Well, if that's your decision,
I'll let Benny know.
147
00:07:28,094 --> 00:07:29,429
All right.
148
00:07:31,472 --> 00:07:32,724
- All right, Benny?
- All right?
149
00:07:32,724 --> 00:07:34,100
Great, so you already told him?
150
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:37,061
- Things were coming to a head.
- In what way?
151
00:07:37,061 --> 00:07:39,647
You spent nine hours
making a courgette village.
152
00:07:40,648 --> 00:07:41,983
Look after yourself, Son.
153
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,194
Say goodbye to Carol and Sue for me, Dad.
154
00:07:44,194 --> 00:07:45,945
- See ya, Benny.
- [Benny] See ya.
155
00:07:48,740 --> 00:07:52,076
- Do you think he's gonna be all right?
- He'll be dead by the end of the week.
156
00:07:53,369 --> 00:07:55,371
[thunder rumbling]
157
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,294
So, you really made an entire village
out of courgettes?
158
00:08:01,294 --> 00:08:04,130
Yeah. Well, actually,
I used pumpkins for the foundations.
159
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:05,632
I mean, you need a firm base.
160
00:08:05,632 --> 00:08:07,050
And your dad kicked you out?
161
00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:09,928
Yeah, I can't believe it.
I've got no job, I've got nowhere to live.
162
00:08:09,928 --> 00:08:12,096
All I own in the world
is this sewing machine
163
00:08:12,096 --> 00:08:14,891
- and these powerful, purple shoes.
- Cool.
164
00:08:14,891 --> 00:08:16,434
You haven't got anywhere
I could store them?
165
00:08:16,434 --> 00:08:18,102
Yeah. Put them in the cupboard.
166
00:08:18,102 --> 00:08:20,563
Brilliant. Thanks, Little Karen.
You're a diamond.
167
00:08:24,609 --> 00:08:26,569
[echoing] Whoa, that is a big cupboard.
168
00:08:26,569 --> 00:08:28,988
No, not that door. The next one along.
169
00:08:28,988 --> 00:08:30,615
That's a secret passage.
170
00:08:30,615 --> 00:08:32,784
[Dick]
I didn't know you had a secret passage.
171
00:08:32,784 --> 00:08:35,370
- Well, it's a secret, isn't it?
- [chuckles] Yeah.
172
00:08:35,370 --> 00:08:37,372
If everyone knew about it,
it would just be a passage.
173
00:08:37,372 --> 00:08:39,498
That's not nearly as cool, is it?
174
00:08:39,498 --> 00:08:42,043
Wow, secret passage though. Check you out.
175
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,461
Wish I had a secret passage.
176
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:46,506
- That sounds weird.
- Yeah, that did sound a bit weird. Sorry.
177
00:08:46,506 --> 00:08:48,174
[door opens]
178
00:08:48,174 --> 00:08:50,176
[thunder rumbling]
179
00:09:05,650 --> 00:09:07,944
Five glasses of kill grief.
180
00:09:09,362 --> 00:09:11,030
We don't serve people we don't know.
181
00:09:13,783 --> 00:09:16,494
[sighs] Fine.
182
00:09:17,203 --> 00:09:18,663
I'm Tom King.
183
00:09:18,663 --> 00:09:20,331
Honesty Barebone.
184
00:09:20,331 --> 00:09:21,666
Nicholas Fraser.
185
00:09:21,666 --> 00:09:25,044
Moose Pleck. And... [grunts]
186
00:09:26,838 --> 00:09:27,839
Steve.
187
00:09:28,423 --> 00:09:29,424
Steve.
188
00:09:29,424 --> 00:09:31,134
Well, actually, I prefer Steven.
189
00:09:31,134 --> 00:09:32,886
[sighs]
190
00:09:32,886 --> 00:09:34,345
Not a biggie. Steve's fine.
191
00:09:34,345 --> 00:09:38,308
There's an opening coming up in my gang.
192
00:09:38,892 --> 00:09:39,726
Is there?
193
00:09:39,726 --> 00:09:40,977
- [grunts]
- [patron screams]
194
00:09:46,566 --> 00:09:47,901
You.
195
00:09:47,901 --> 00:09:53,823
Tomorrow, Lord Rookwood will be traveling
to his summer retreat in Dagenham.
196
00:09:53,823 --> 00:09:59,120
You're gonna stop his coach and direct him
to Rowney Woods where we will be waiting.
197
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,414
Are you joking? I'm eight.
198
00:10:01,414 --> 00:10:04,834
Exactly. He won't suspect you.
199
00:10:05,752 --> 00:10:08,838
Sorry, just to be clear, does this mean
that I am not in the gang anymore?
200
00:10:08,838 --> 00:10:10,006
- [gunshot]
- [grunts]
201
00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:12,342
What if they don't stop?
202
00:10:12,926 --> 00:10:15,345
Then you pull out your barking iron
and you make them stop.
203
00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:16,763
What's a barking iron?
204
00:10:18,014 --> 00:10:19,224
[Nicholas] One of these.
205
00:10:19,724 --> 00:10:21,976
Oh, yeah. I've seen one of those, yeah.
[chuckles]
206
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:23,603
Got it.
207
00:10:24,270 --> 00:10:25,313
Who are you?
208
00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:27,982
Just the local butcher.
I was a butcher actually.
209
00:10:27,982 --> 00:10:29,817
I've just been replaced
by my cousin Benny.
210
00:10:29,817 --> 00:10:31,319
[chuckles] He's got his own knives.
211
00:10:31,319 --> 00:10:33,279
To be honest, I wasn't really feeling it.
212
00:10:33,279 --> 00:10:35,323
You know, I'm a vegan and, uh--
213
00:10:35,323 --> 00:10:37,951
I mean, I've got skills. I just
don't really know how to channel them.
214
00:10:37,951 --> 00:10:40,954
But I feel like
there's something out there f-for me.
215
00:10:40,954 --> 00:10:44,040
- [Tom groaning]
- You know, something quite creative.
216
00:10:45,416 --> 00:10:47,752
This is your lucky day.
217
00:10:49,087 --> 00:10:50,213
- Is it?
- [Tom] Yeah.
218
00:10:50,213 --> 00:10:51,881
Got a job for ya.
219
00:10:51,881 --> 00:10:53,800
[chuckles] Cool. What is it?
220
00:10:54,509 --> 00:10:57,262
What I just told her to do!
221
00:10:58,596 --> 00:11:01,099
[Steven] Okay, I guess
I'd just really appreciate some feedback.
222
00:11:01,099 --> 00:11:02,809
- I mean, I thought-- [grunts]
- [gunshot]
223
00:11:07,856 --> 00:11:08,857
Here.
224
00:11:10,149 --> 00:11:14,529
Okay. [sighs] So, um, I just push
that button and it comes out that tube.
225
00:11:14,529 --> 00:11:16,573
Where do I wear that?
Where do you keep yours?
226
00:11:16,573 --> 00:11:19,868
Is it-- Is it sort of up here
or is there a holster?
227
00:11:19,868 --> 00:11:21,202
Is there a safety catch?
228
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:24,038
'Cause I feel like this could go off
in my trousers.
229
00:11:24,038 --> 00:11:27,292
No. There's no safety catch.
230
00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:31,379
Right. Seems a bit dangerous.
Maybe I'll carry it in a bag.
231
00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:34,632
Yeah. You do that.
232
00:11:35,258 --> 00:11:36,342
Okay.
233
00:11:36,342 --> 00:11:40,889
Tomorrow. Ten o'clock. Don't weasel out.
234
00:11:43,516 --> 00:11:45,143
- Steve.
- [gang] Steve.
235
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:49,522
[Steven] It's Steven.
236
00:11:49,522 --> 00:11:51,107
- [gunshot]
- [Steven grunts]
237
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:56,321
[Tom] ♪ Oh, my poorest soul
Wherever it may be ♪
238
00:11:56,321 --> 00:11:58,031
- Dick, what are you doing?
- [door closes]
239
00:11:58,031 --> 00:11:59,532
You can't do this.
240
00:11:59,532 --> 00:12:02,619
I couldn't let you go, could I?
You're a child. It's much too dangerous.
241
00:12:02,619 --> 00:12:04,829
- What if we both go?
- That's even worse.
242
00:12:04,829 --> 00:12:06,331
Look, I'll be okay.
243
00:12:06,331 --> 00:12:09,292
Just one question. Did he say
there was or wasn't a safety catch?
244
00:12:09,292 --> 00:12:10,376
Just be careful.
245
00:12:10,376 --> 00:12:13,296
'Cause if you get caught doing this,
you're in real trouble.
246
00:12:13,296 --> 00:12:15,298
I'm not gonna get caught.
Don't worry about me.
247
00:12:15,298 --> 00:12:17,383
I'm a master of disguise.
248
00:12:20,428 --> 00:12:23,306
Giddyap, boys. Yep. Yep. [exclaims]
249
00:12:23,306 --> 00:12:26,142
So, what you're saying is
you've seen a gang of men
250
00:12:26,142 --> 00:12:28,728
up in my top field stealing my deer.
251
00:12:28,728 --> 00:12:30,563
And the reason you know this is
252
00:12:30,563 --> 00:12:34,400
because you're from
precisely 15 minutes into the future.
253
00:12:34,984 --> 00:12:35,985
Exactly.
254
00:12:35,985 --> 00:12:37,695
What's it like in the future?
255
00:12:38,404 --> 00:12:40,031
It's pretty much the same as it is now.
256
00:12:40,031 --> 00:12:42,158
I mean,
the outfits have come on a little bit.
257
00:12:42,158 --> 00:12:43,493
Give me that bag.
258
00:12:45,495 --> 00:12:47,830
- What's this?
- That's a banana.
259
00:12:48,581 --> 00:12:49,582
[item squeaks]
260
00:12:50,083 --> 00:12:51,167
And this?
261
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:53,253
It's one of those waterproof ponchos,
in case it rains.
262
00:12:53,253 --> 00:12:55,421
And what's this?
263
00:12:55,421 --> 00:12:57,590
I believe that's called a barking "ion."
264
00:12:57,590 --> 00:13:00,260
- It's a gun.
- Yeah, that's it. It's a gun.
265
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:04,305
With the initials TK.
You're in Tom King's gang.
266
00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:05,390
Charlatan!
267
00:13:05,390 --> 00:13:08,601
How dare you enter my carriage
with this cock-and-bull story?
268
00:13:08,601 --> 00:13:10,478
- [grunting]
- [Dick] Oh! Please!
269
00:13:12,939 --> 00:13:14,107
[Rookwood] Don't stop, driver!
270
00:13:14,107 --> 00:13:16,651
- It's a bloody ambush!
- [driver exclaims] Come on.
271
00:13:16,651 --> 00:13:18,361
[screams]
272
00:13:19,028 --> 00:13:20,196
[Dick screams]
273
00:13:22,866 --> 00:13:24,534
[Rookwood, Dick scream]
274
00:13:28,288 --> 00:13:31,583
[grunting]
275
00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:34,043
Bye-bye, Future Man!
276
00:13:38,381 --> 00:13:39,382
Get out!
277
00:13:40,592 --> 00:13:43,219
[clicks tongue] Ah, that's a shame.
I love that poncho.
278
00:13:43,219 --> 00:13:44,596
Where is he?
279
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:47,640
Uh, it didn't quite go according to plan.
280
00:13:49,809 --> 00:13:51,227
Who have you come as?
281
00:13:51,895 --> 00:13:53,396
I'm from the future.
282
00:13:53,396 --> 00:13:55,231
Only 15 minutes into the future.
283
00:13:55,231 --> 00:13:56,316
Uh-huh.
284
00:13:56,316 --> 00:14:00,236
If you're from the future,
you should've seen this coming.
285
00:14:01,571 --> 00:14:02,739
[groans]
286
00:14:06,659 --> 00:14:08,411
- [yelps]
- What happened?
287
00:14:09,162 --> 00:14:10,622
Did you just kill Tom King?
288
00:14:11,414 --> 00:14:14,125
Technically, yeah. But, guys,
there's a little bit of context.
289
00:14:15,084 --> 00:14:16,628
Then you are a braver man than me.
290
00:14:16,628 --> 00:14:18,379
He's gone. We're free!
291
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:19,756
- Yes!
- [sighing]
292
00:14:20,506 --> 00:14:21,507
You mean this is fine?
293
00:14:21,507 --> 00:14:23,927
We hated him.
You've done us a massive favor.
294
00:14:23,927 --> 00:14:25,178
What, a headshot as well, yeah?
295
00:14:25,178 --> 00:14:28,264
- Nice. I can see inside his mind.
- Oh, that's disgusting.
296
00:14:28,264 --> 00:14:31,559
All he wanted to do was rob people for
money, and that's not what this is about.
297
00:14:31,559 --> 00:14:32,644
No. Isn't it?
298
00:14:32,644 --> 00:14:33,937
- No.
- No, of course not.
299
00:14:33,937 --> 00:14:35,605
[Nicholas] I wanna rob people as a protest
300
00:14:35,605 --> 00:14:37,774
about the injustice
of hereditary land ownership.
301
00:14:37,774 --> 00:14:38,858
And to help the poor.
302
00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:40,193
We'll still kill people though?
303
00:14:40,193 --> 00:14:41,861
Yeah, of course we'll still kill people.
304
00:14:41,861 --> 00:14:42,946
Sweet.
305
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,324
I can't believe you guys
didn't like Tom King.
306
00:14:46,324 --> 00:14:50,828
Well, he actually said
some really horrible things to me.
307
00:14:50,828 --> 00:14:53,831
[sniffles] Really horrible.
308
00:14:54,916 --> 00:14:56,459
Hey, do you wanna talk about it?
309
00:14:56,459 --> 00:14:59,504
[inhales sharply, snorts]
310
00:14:59,504 --> 00:15:02,298
{\an8}And he said I had cankles,
which is not okay.
311
00:15:02,298 --> 00:15:03,216
{\an8}No.
312
00:15:03,216 --> 00:15:05,176
{\an8}'Cause I'm actually quite sensitive
about my legs.
313
00:15:05,176 --> 00:15:08,888
I can never find breeches that fit,
which is why I always ride sidesaddle.
314
00:15:08,888 --> 00:15:12,183
But Tom said I looked like
a big girl's blouse when I did that.
315
00:15:13,101 --> 00:15:15,812
Nothing wrong with looking like
a big girl's blouse, my large friend.
316
00:15:15,812 --> 00:15:17,564
They're practical, they're elegant.
317
00:15:17,564 --> 00:15:19,732
I mean,
I wore a dress for nearly a year once.
318
00:15:19,732 --> 00:15:22,151
No underwear, the breeze blowing up me.
319
00:15:22,151 --> 00:15:23,570
It felt great. You should try it.
320
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:25,655
- [chuckles] Yes, please.
- We're meant to be scary.
321
00:15:25,655 --> 00:15:26,948
All I'm saying is,
322
00:15:26,948 --> 00:15:30,410
if Moose rocked up
in a stunning loose-cut smock frock,
323
00:15:30,410 --> 00:15:31,870
he'd get my vote.
324
00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:34,455
- It would be more comfortable.
- And your confidence would soar.
325
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:35,874
Clothes maketh the man.
326
00:15:35,874 --> 00:15:37,709
- Clearly.
- Or the woman.
327
00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:40,420
I mean, check out this guy. [chuckles]
Rocking those breeches, yeah?
328
00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:42,213
- Clearly a lady.
- Wait, what?
329
00:15:42,213 --> 00:15:43,965
- [groans]
- Well, that's a game changer.
330
00:15:43,965 --> 00:15:45,049
What, you didn't know?
331
00:15:45,049 --> 00:15:46,676
But you're-- you're called Nicholas.
332
00:15:47,677 --> 00:15:50,805
- Okay, um, my real name is Nell.
- What?
333
00:15:50,805 --> 00:15:53,516
Opportunities for women
in highway robbery aren't exactly great.
334
00:15:53,516 --> 00:15:57,395
So I called myself Nicholas
and dressed as a man.
335
00:15:57,395 --> 00:15:59,647
I mean,
it's pretty obvious to most people.
336
00:15:59,647 --> 00:16:02,442
- No way.
- You know, I can see a time
337
00:16:02,442 --> 00:16:05,737
when women and men do the same job
for the same money.
338
00:16:05,737 --> 00:16:09,407
[laughs] I like it. He's doing a funny.
339
00:16:09,407 --> 00:16:11,659
- That's good.
- I was actually being serious.
340
00:16:11,659 --> 00:16:15,997
- [laughing] It's a double bluff. Two.
- [Honesty chuckles]
341
00:16:18,583 --> 00:16:19,751
- Hmm.
- What?
342
00:16:20,627 --> 00:16:23,296
Just thought I saw a loose cartwheel
by that hillock.
343
00:16:24,672 --> 00:16:25,673
Rolling.
344
00:16:25,673 --> 00:16:27,967
He made me look! Three! Hat trick.
345
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:29,886
[chuckling] Oh. Insane.
346
00:16:29,886 --> 00:16:31,304
He's great, isn't he?
347
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:33,723
I like him.
348
00:16:34,933 --> 00:16:36,184
All right, guys. It's been real.
349
00:16:36,184 --> 00:16:38,269
I'm gonna skedaddle.
Got a few little bits to do.
350
00:16:38,269 --> 00:16:42,398
Wait, aren't you gonna be our new leader
and, like, spiritual guru and life coach?
351
00:16:42,398 --> 00:16:43,733
[scoffs] I-I-I'm sorry, what?
352
00:16:43,733 --> 00:16:45,568
[stammers] Yeah.
He's in charge now, right?
353
00:16:45,568 --> 00:16:46,861
Me, leader?
354
00:16:47,654 --> 00:16:49,739
Maybe this is what I was destined to do.
355
00:16:49,739 --> 00:16:53,326
Lead a gang of dashing outlaws,
riding across the heath.
356
00:16:53,326 --> 00:16:55,995
- [Honesty] Whoa. Yeah.
- The wind blowing through my hair.
357
00:16:55,995 --> 00:16:57,622
[imitating gunshots]
358
00:16:57,622 --> 00:17:00,083
- [all imitating gunshots]
- Sorry.
359
00:17:01,417 --> 00:17:02,418
"Who are you?"
360
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:03,920
"I'm Dick Turpin."
361
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,129
"Aren't you a butcher?"
[chuckles] "No, that was ages ago."
362
00:17:06,129 --> 00:17:08,174
- Yes.
-"Can I still buy chops off you?"
363
00:17:08,174 --> 00:17:10,342
"Not really. You'd have to speak
to my dad about that."
364
00:17:10,342 --> 00:17:11,552
Who's he talking to?
365
00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:14,013
- [whispering] His imaginary self.
- He's so cool.
366
00:17:14,013 --> 00:17:15,514
"What about pork medallions?"
367
00:17:15,514 --> 00:17:18,059
"We've been through this, all right?
I'm a highwayman now."
368
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:19,851
I am a highwayman.
369
00:17:20,811 --> 00:17:23,147
- Yes. I'll do it.
- Yeah!
370
00:17:23,147 --> 00:17:24,983
This is so exciting.
We can have a special handshake.
371
00:17:24,983 --> 00:17:27,485
- Yes!
- A little shake, a-a slide.
372
00:17:27,485 --> 00:17:28,987
Fist bump. Booty bounce.
373
00:17:28,987 --> 00:17:30,488
- [grunting]
- No booty bounce.
374
00:17:30,488 --> 00:17:32,490
Right.
You don't get to decide who's leader.
375
00:17:32,490 --> 00:17:35,159
We decide who's leader,
and you're not gonna be leader.
376
00:17:35,159 --> 00:17:36,286
Okay.
377
00:17:36,286 --> 00:17:37,662
I think Dick should be leader.
378
00:17:37,662 --> 00:17:40,415
I-I'm not totally sure, but I think
he's the best man in the world.
379
00:17:40,415 --> 00:17:43,084
Me too. He's gonna make me a dress.
Do you think he has a best friend?
380
00:17:43,084 --> 00:17:45,795
Hang on. What about me? All right?
381
00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:47,881
I'm the best highwayman.
I should be in charge.
382
00:17:47,881 --> 00:17:49,507
[sighs] Nell, we love you.
383
00:17:49,507 --> 00:17:51,175
- Mm-hmm. Mmm.
- You're great with a gun,
384
00:17:51,175 --> 00:17:52,844
- and you ride a mean horse.
- Mmm.
385
00:17:52,844 --> 00:17:54,888
But you do tend to buckle under pressure.
386
00:17:54,888 --> 00:17:56,931
I don't buckle. I never buckle.
387
00:17:56,931 --> 00:17:58,182
I'm unbuckle-able.
388
00:17:58,182 --> 00:18:00,018
Okay then. You can be leader.
389
00:18:00,018 --> 00:18:02,437
- Yeah. Where we going now?
- Head back or get lunch?
390
00:18:02,437 --> 00:18:05,857
Okay. Um, lunch or head back?
391
00:18:05,857 --> 00:18:07,859
Um, both fantastic options.
392
00:18:07,859 --> 00:18:11,613
[clicks tongue] Oh, God. Uh... [sighs]
393
00:18:12,864 --> 00:18:14,324
God, I can't take this stress!
394
00:18:14,324 --> 00:18:15,783
Fine. Whatever. I don't care.
395
00:18:15,783 --> 00:18:18,536
- That settles it. Dick's our new leader!
- Yes!
396
00:18:18,536 --> 00:18:21,456
[Dick] And it was in that glorious moment
that my fate was sealed
397
00:18:21,456 --> 00:18:23,124
- and a legend was born.
- [groans]
398
00:18:23,124 --> 00:18:24,751
This is a beautiful moment, guys.
399
00:18:24,751 --> 00:18:26,419
This is where we could do
our special handshake.
400
00:18:26,419 --> 00:18:27,921
- Yes.
- I'm not doing a handshake.
401
00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:29,964
- She'll come around.
- I know.
402
00:18:29,964 --> 00:18:34,093
[Dick] I was now the rightful leader
of my very own gang of outlaws.
403
00:18:34,093 --> 00:18:36,179
- [Bill] Sounds made-up.
- No, it doesn't.
404
00:18:36,179 --> 00:18:37,597
- What bit?
- [Bill] All of it.
405
00:18:37,597 --> 00:18:41,309
One minute you're a butcher
prancing around with your funny ideas.
406
00:18:41,309 --> 00:18:44,062
The next minute
you're dressed as some kind of future man.
407
00:18:44,062 --> 00:18:45,271
Yeah, that was a bit weird.
408
00:18:45,271 --> 00:18:48,441
And then suddenly, you're in charge
of an old gang of criminals.
409
00:18:48,441 --> 00:18:51,945
All right. It does sound a bit made-up.
But I can assure you it did happen.
410
00:18:51,945 --> 00:18:54,113
- I believe you, Dick.
- Thanks, Poorly Martin.
411
00:18:54,113 --> 00:18:57,075
Okay, so let's just do a recap
of what I've written so far.
412
00:18:57,075 --> 00:19:01,246
[clears throat] Turpin,
with his magnificent head of raven hair,
413
00:19:01,246 --> 00:19:03,039
emerges from the upended carriage,
414
00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:05,875
coming face-to-face
with the incandescent Tom King.
415
00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:08,211
Then,
without one thought for his own self,
416
00:19:08,211 --> 00:19:11,798
Dick Turpin bravely and heroically
shoots Tom King in the face.
417
00:19:11,798 --> 00:19:14,592
Dick beguiles the gang to take his place
as the new rightful leader.
418
00:19:14,592 --> 00:19:17,136
Bewitching Honesty,
wrestling Moose to the ground
419
00:19:17,136 --> 00:19:20,098
and seducing Nell, who was clearly
in love with him from the beginning.
420
00:19:20,098 --> 00:19:21,849
- Right?
- I mean, yeah, loosely.
421
00:19:21,849 --> 00:19:23,393
Wow. You're incredible.
422
00:19:23,393 --> 00:19:25,603
Okay. Brilliant. Well, I've got all that.
423
00:19:25,603 --> 00:19:27,897
Now, so you're in charge of the gang.
What happens next?
424
00:19:27,897 --> 00:19:31,985
Well, next, I made myself and the gang
some incredible outfits.
425
00:19:31,985 --> 00:19:34,362
- Outfits?
- Yeah, you know. I wanted us to look good.
426
00:19:35,029 --> 00:19:36,948
I can't listen to this shit anymore.
427
00:19:37,866 --> 00:19:39,450
I love it.
428
00:19:39,450 --> 00:19:40,743
What about the cape? Too long?
429
00:19:40,743 --> 00:19:43,162
- [Little Karen] Can a cape be too long?
- Correct answer.
430
00:19:43,162 --> 00:19:44,539
How do you guys feel?
431
00:19:45,373 --> 00:19:46,791
- Bit weird.
- I like it.
432
00:19:46,791 --> 00:19:48,751
I just feel right.
433
00:19:48,751 --> 00:19:49,836
Sorry, is this leather?
434
00:19:49,836 --> 00:19:53,298
No. Surprisingly, it's pleather.
Parsnip leather.
435
00:19:53,298 --> 00:19:56,009
Catches the light, it's durable,
wipes clean.
436
00:19:56,009 --> 00:19:57,760
- Good for blood, yeah?
- [chuckles] Yeah.
437
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,053
We look incredible.
438
00:19:59,053 --> 00:20:01,055
In fact, somebody draw us.
439
00:20:01,055 --> 00:20:02,140
Alf.
440
00:20:15,528 --> 00:20:16,613
[gang groaning, sighing]
441
00:20:16,613 --> 00:20:17,780
Somebody else draw us.
442
00:20:19,574 --> 00:20:21,576
Look out, Dick. Jonathan Wilde's here.
443
00:20:22,577 --> 00:20:24,537
- Who's he?
- The thieftaker general.
444
00:20:24,537 --> 00:20:27,749
I'm not gonna lie, he sounds exactly like
the sort of person we should be avoiding.
445
00:20:27,749 --> 00:20:29,209
No, Dick. He's a crook.
446
00:20:29,209 --> 00:20:30,752
He had a deal with Tom King.
447
00:20:30,752 --> 00:20:32,962
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's dangerous.
- Yeah.
448
00:20:32,962 --> 00:20:36,174
Listen, if you want to walk away
from all this, I wouldn't blame you.
449
00:20:36,174 --> 00:20:38,218
- I'm fine.
- We'll be right here, Dick.
450
00:20:39,427 --> 00:20:41,054
I'll die for you, Dick.
451
00:20:41,054 --> 00:20:42,138
That's good to know.
452
00:20:42,138 --> 00:20:45,892
All right, guys, stand behind me.
Try and look menacing.
453
00:20:45,892 --> 00:20:47,644
Nell, let me do the talking.
454
00:20:47,644 --> 00:20:48,978
- [scoffs]
- [exhales sharply]
455
00:20:52,815 --> 00:20:54,025
Ah, Mr. Wilde.
456
00:20:54,025 --> 00:20:56,736
I have to say,
you're slightly smaller than I'd imagined.
457
00:20:57,820 --> 00:20:59,364
I am Jonathan Wilde.
458
00:20:59,364 --> 00:21:00,823
Yep. That makes more sense.
459
00:21:00,823 --> 00:21:02,825
- This is my son, Christopher.
- Hello, Christopher.
460
00:21:02,825 --> 00:21:05,537
Currently,
my wife and I don't have any childcare.
461
00:21:05,537 --> 00:21:07,080
Absolute ball-ache.
462
00:21:07,705 --> 00:21:09,123
Christopher, go and sit over there.
463
00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:12,252
So, to business.
464
00:21:13,545 --> 00:21:14,712
To business.
465
00:21:18,091 --> 00:21:21,094
Mr. Turpin...
[sighs] ...your reputation precedes you.
466
00:21:21,094 --> 00:21:22,095
Does it?
467
00:21:22,095 --> 00:21:25,848
Well, not many people would have
the nerve to stand up to Tom King.
468
00:21:25,848 --> 00:21:28,351
[chuckles] King was a bully.
I don't like bullies.
469
00:21:28,351 --> 00:21:30,770
Then it's a good thing I come as a friend.
470
00:21:31,563 --> 00:21:34,274
King and I had a certain arrangement.
471
00:21:34,274 --> 00:21:37,068
And now that he's gone
and you seem to be the new leader,
472
00:21:37,068 --> 00:21:41,364
I was wondering if you might be open
to a similar degree of cooperation.
473
00:21:41,364 --> 00:21:43,157
- It's really very simple.
- [Christopher] Dad.
474
00:21:43,157 --> 00:21:44,659
You keep doing what you're doing,
475
00:21:44,659 --> 00:21:46,911
- with no risk of going to the gallows.
- [Christopher] Dad.
476
00:21:46,911 --> 00:21:49,539
We take a look at what you've stolen.
I keep most of it,
477
00:21:49,539 --> 00:21:52,292
maybe even sell one or two items
back to the original owners.
478
00:21:52,292 --> 00:21:53,459
- Dad.
- What?
479
00:21:53,459 --> 00:21:54,586
I found a dead moth.
480
00:21:54,586 --> 00:21:57,338
Christopher,
what did I say to you before we came here?
481
00:21:57,338 --> 00:21:58,756
Keep quiet when you're working.
482
00:21:58,756 --> 00:22:00,717
So why are you telling me
about a dead moth?
483
00:22:00,717 --> 00:22:02,010
It's really big.
484
00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:03,011
Put it down.
485
00:22:03,011 --> 00:22:04,262
It's already dead.
486
00:22:04,262 --> 00:22:07,223
Christopher, you put that moth down now
or you can go and wait in the cart.
487
00:22:08,808 --> 00:22:11,019
Sorry. I mean, adorable, but sometimes...
488
00:22:11,019 --> 00:22:13,605
Okay, so what exactly would be your cut?
489
00:22:13,605 --> 00:22:15,064
Ninety-five percent.
490
00:22:15,064 --> 00:22:17,942
Ninety-five perc--
That's daylight robbery.
491
00:22:17,942 --> 00:22:19,944
I have a lot of overheads, Turpin.
492
00:22:19,944 --> 00:22:23,865
Bribing informants, network of spies,
Christopher's swimming lessons.
493
00:22:23,865 --> 00:22:25,867
- Swimming is important.
- It is.
494
00:22:26,826 --> 00:22:29,245
[sighs] Do you think
you could come down just a little bit?
495
00:22:30,163 --> 00:22:33,208
Listen,
I send a lot of people to the gallows.
496
00:22:34,834 --> 00:22:37,921
Careful, Dick.
I think he might be threatening us.
497
00:22:39,172 --> 00:22:40,173
Not a threat.
498
00:22:41,925 --> 00:22:43,259
We can make an excellent team.
499
00:22:43,259 --> 00:22:45,303
I've already got an excellent team.
500
00:22:45,303 --> 00:22:48,932
We're called the Essex Gang,
and we don't work for anybody.
501
00:22:54,229 --> 00:22:55,939
[sighs] That's a shame.
502
00:22:55,939 --> 00:22:57,106
[slurping]
503
00:22:57,106 --> 00:23:00,485
You, sir,
have just signed your own death warr--
504
00:23:00,485 --> 00:23:03,613
For crying out loud, Christopher,
can you please pack it in?
505
00:23:05,782 --> 00:23:08,660
I'm afraid you and your gang
will be taken in
506
00:23:08,660 --> 00:23:11,079
and hanged for the murder of Tom King.
507
00:23:11,079 --> 00:23:13,581
Oh, really? And who's gonna take us in?
508
00:23:13,581 --> 00:23:15,833
- Me.
- [scoffs] You and whose army?
509
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,127
Me and my army.
510
00:23:18,127 --> 00:23:20,088
And who exactly is your army?
511
00:23:20,088 --> 00:23:22,465
Christopher and that singed moth?
512
00:23:22,465 --> 00:23:25,510
No, me and my actual army.
513
00:23:33,810 --> 00:23:35,645
Yeah, that's quite impressive. [sighs]
514
00:23:36,521 --> 00:23:38,940
No one escapes the thieftaker general.
515
00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:44,529
- Guys, secret passage.
- [Honesty] What?
516
00:23:44,529 --> 00:23:47,156
- Go! Go. Go, go!
- [Nell] Come on! Moose!
517
00:23:47,156 --> 00:23:48,700
- [Moose] Honesty!
- [Honesty] Listen to Dick!
518
00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:50,535
I didn't know
this place had a secret passage.
519
00:23:50,535 --> 00:23:51,911
Well, it's a secret, isn't it?
520
00:23:51,911 --> 00:23:53,705
Well, no, I-I take your point.
521
00:23:53,705 --> 00:23:56,916
I suppose if everyone knew about it,
then it would just-- just be a passage.
522
00:23:56,916 --> 00:23:58,251
[chuckles] That's what I said.
523
00:23:58,251 --> 00:24:00,795
You see, we're not so different,
you and I.
524
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,256
Why not come and work for me?
525
00:24:07,302 --> 00:24:08,678
I don't think so.
526
00:24:08,678 --> 00:24:11,306
You see,
Tom King was an old-school highwayman.
527
00:24:11,306 --> 00:24:12,891
I'm new-school.
528
00:24:12,891 --> 00:24:14,851
There's gonna be less violence
on my watch,
529
00:24:14,851 --> 00:24:17,061
more charm, maybe even some panache.
530
00:24:17,061 --> 00:24:20,273
We're not gonna be giving money
to fat cats like you.
531
00:24:20,273 --> 00:24:22,483
We're gonna give it to real people,
poor people.
532
00:24:22,483 --> 00:24:24,402
Like Little Karen and Alf who can't draw.
533
00:24:24,402 --> 00:24:25,486
Yes.
534
00:24:26,154 --> 00:24:27,947
Catch you on the flip side, big chin.
535
00:24:30,617 --> 00:24:32,243
[items clattering]
536
00:24:33,661 --> 00:24:34,662
Hmm.
537
00:24:40,668 --> 00:24:41,836
Hi. Can I help you?
538
00:24:42,879 --> 00:24:45,423
I mean, who puts a cupboard
next to a secret passage?
539
00:24:45,423 --> 00:24:48,843
- At least make the doors different colors.
- Exactly. Color-code them.
540
00:24:48,843 --> 00:24:51,888
You know, cupboard, it's practical.
It's green or brown, isn't it?
541
00:24:51,888 --> 00:24:54,349
Secret passage is mysterious, so, purple.
542
00:24:54,349 --> 00:24:56,351
- Or turquoise.
- Exactly.
543
00:24:56,351 --> 00:24:59,145
Just put signs on the doors
like with toilets and be done with it.
544
00:24:59,145 --> 00:25:01,564
Can't put signs on a secret door,
Lizzy the Fish.
545
00:25:01,564 --> 00:25:03,107
Wouldn't be secret anymore, would it?
546
00:25:03,107 --> 00:25:05,568
What about a braille sign
that you have to feel?
547
00:25:05,568 --> 00:25:07,320
Can you read braille?
548
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,156
No, but I wouldn't go in a secret passage.
They freak me out.
549
00:25:10,156 --> 00:25:12,909
[groans] As fascinating
as all this cupboard chat is,
550
00:25:12,909 --> 00:25:14,994
I just don't think
it's gonna make the article.
551
00:25:14,994 --> 00:25:16,579
But we've still got
a thrilling ending though.
552
00:25:16,579 --> 00:25:18,748
- Have we? What ending?
- You. You're gonna get hanged.
553
00:25:18,748 --> 00:25:20,375
I'm not gonna get hanged.
Don't you understand?
554
00:25:20,375 --> 00:25:22,585
I got caught,
but not before I rescued my gang.
555
00:25:22,585 --> 00:25:25,046
Leaving them free to rescue me.
It's perfect.
556
00:25:25,547 --> 00:25:27,674
Yeah. No, it is perfect.
Of course they'll come.
557
00:25:28,341 --> 00:25:31,761
They will come.
I heroically and bravely killed Tom King.
558
00:25:31,761 --> 00:25:34,347
And then saved them from Jonathan Wilde.
They love me.
559
00:25:35,098 --> 00:25:37,600
Yeah, no. Of course they do.
And when they rescue you,
560
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,228
I will tag along and write a book
about all your adventures.
561
00:25:40,228 --> 00:25:41,855
The Adventures of Dick Turpin.
562
00:25:41,855 --> 00:25:44,524
And what about if they don't rescue you
and you get hanged?
563
00:25:44,524 --> 00:25:47,068
[Eliza] Well, you know,
then it'll be more of a pamphlet.
564
00:25:47,068 --> 00:25:48,194
A pamphlet?
565
00:25:48,194 --> 00:25:50,488
- A punchy pamphlet.
- A punchy pam--
566
00:25:50,488 --> 00:25:53,408
I don't want to be a punchy--
Nobody wants to be a punchy pamphlet.
567
00:25:53,408 --> 00:25:55,577
I wanna be a punchy pamphlet.
568
00:25:56,369 --> 00:25:57,704
All right then. [sighs]
569
00:25:57,704 --> 00:26:00,081
Everyone back on the wagon.
570
00:26:00,582 --> 00:26:04,043
This is your last chance
to use the toilet.
571
00:26:04,961 --> 00:26:06,087
Ever.
572
00:26:25,481 --> 00:26:28,902
Please take a moment to check
you've got all your personal belongings.
573
00:26:28,902 --> 00:26:29,986
Thank you.
574
00:26:34,657 --> 00:26:37,076
Margaret, you're up.
Think about your husband.
575
00:26:37,911 --> 00:26:39,787
[wailing]
576
00:26:40,371 --> 00:26:41,372
Perfect.
577
00:26:45,210 --> 00:26:48,254
That's dangerous, that is.
Those things can really gather momentum.
578
00:26:48,254 --> 00:26:50,632
- What things?
- Those round things.
579
00:26:50,632 --> 00:26:52,717
- You mean wheels?
- Yeah.
580
00:26:52,717 --> 00:26:54,552
- That's what they're designed to do.
- I know.
581
00:26:54,552 --> 00:26:56,930
I'm just flagging it up.
I don't want to see anyone get hurt.
582
00:26:56,930 --> 00:26:59,849
Well, that's very noble of you, coming
from someone who's about to be hanged.
583
00:26:59,849 --> 00:27:01,976
Geoffrey,
I know we haven't always seen eye to eye,
584
00:27:01,976 --> 00:27:04,729
but I just want to say
I've really enjoyed our time together.
585
00:27:04,729 --> 00:27:06,606
Righto. Mind how you go, Dirk.
586
00:27:06,606 --> 00:27:08,316
- It's Dick actually.
- Whatever.
587
00:27:08,316 --> 00:27:09,943
- Stay in touch, yeah?
- [Geoffrey] Uh-huh.
588
00:27:18,201 --> 00:27:19,661
[executioner] Any last words?
589
00:27:19,661 --> 00:27:20,995
Yeah. Give me a minute.
590
00:27:22,956 --> 00:27:24,040
I know what you're thinking.
591
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,501
"Who is this guy
with the incredible cheekbones?
592
00:27:26,501 --> 00:27:29,587
Where does he get his hair done?
His jacket's supreme."
593
00:27:29,587 --> 00:27:31,923
Those things aren't important.
Well, they are a little bit.
594
00:27:31,923 --> 00:27:35,802
What is important is
that my name is Dick Turpin,
595
00:27:35,802 --> 00:27:40,265
and one day I'll be the most famous
highwayman in all of England.
596
00:27:41,140 --> 00:27:45,061
You are literally about to be hanged,
you idiot!
597
00:27:45,061 --> 00:27:46,104
[crowd laughing]
598
00:27:46,104 --> 00:27:49,524
I'm not an idiot actually, because
my gang are gonna come and rescue me.
599
00:27:49,524 --> 00:27:52,694
- [crowd jeering]
- In fact, they're already here.
600
00:27:52,694 --> 00:27:55,572
Let me introduce you
to a good friend of mine.
601
00:27:56,155 --> 00:27:57,156
Moose.
602
00:27:57,156 --> 00:27:58,741
[crowd laughing]
603
00:27:59,325 --> 00:28:01,035
[groans] That would have been so good.
604
00:28:01,035 --> 00:28:02,912
This guy is priceless.
605
00:28:04,914 --> 00:28:06,541
- [villager] Hang him!
- I'm sorry.
606
00:28:07,834 --> 00:28:09,085
Let me just get that.
607
00:28:09,085 --> 00:28:10,879
Oh, God, let me get the eyeholes level.
608
00:28:13,089 --> 00:28:15,341
There you go. Can you see?
Yeah, you're good to go.
609
00:28:15,341 --> 00:28:16,551
[executioner] That's enough.
610
00:28:17,135 --> 00:28:19,596
[groans, sighs]
611
00:28:21,514 --> 00:28:22,891
[crowd cheers]
612
00:28:25,226 --> 00:28:26,811
Quick note to my gang:
613
00:28:26,811 --> 00:28:28,271
If you were planning a rescue,
614
00:28:28,271 --> 00:28:30,732
probably before the rope goes
around my neck would be a good time.
615
00:28:34,444 --> 00:28:35,778
Guys?
616
00:28:37,113 --> 00:28:41,075
Brilliant. Best hanging I've ever been to.
617
00:28:41,075 --> 00:28:43,828
- [crowd jeering]
- Guys? Guys.
618
00:28:44,412 --> 00:28:46,664
[chuckling]
Come on, guys. Stop messing around.
619
00:28:47,248 --> 00:28:49,751
- Gu--
- [crowd cheers]
620
00:28:49,751 --> 00:28:51,294
[wails]
621
00:28:51,294 --> 00:28:53,213
[Dick choking]
622
00:28:54,631 --> 00:28:56,216
What are you waiting for? Shoot the rope.
623
00:28:56,216 --> 00:28:57,926
- Quickly!
- Stop pressuring me.
624
00:29:00,261 --> 00:29:01,638
[crowd gasps]
625
00:29:01,638 --> 00:29:03,056
[executioner] Huh?
626
00:29:05,350 --> 00:29:07,936
[sighs] These things
can be a little bit inaccurate.
627
00:29:07,936 --> 00:29:10,355
You did that on purpose.
You don't even want to save him.
628
00:29:10,355 --> 00:29:12,357
Oh, God. Now he's dying.
629
00:29:12,357 --> 00:29:13,983
Look, his body's gone all jerky.
630
00:29:13,983 --> 00:29:16,569
Calm down. He's not dead.
I'll just reload.
631
00:29:16,569 --> 00:29:18,112
Forget this. I'm doing it my way.
632
00:29:21,199 --> 00:29:23,493
[shouting]
633
00:29:23,493 --> 00:29:25,161
[Moose] We're coming, Dick!
634
00:29:25,828 --> 00:29:27,372
[crowd gasping]
635
00:29:28,122 --> 00:29:29,123
[whistles]
636
00:29:30,416 --> 00:29:31,918
- [crowd screaming]
- [grunts]
637
00:29:31,918 --> 00:29:34,212
[Rookwood] Guards! Get him!
638
00:29:34,212 --> 00:29:35,380
I can't believe you came.
639
00:29:35,380 --> 00:29:37,590
Of course.
You're the best man in the world.
640
00:29:37,590 --> 00:29:38,675
I know.
641
00:29:39,342 --> 00:29:41,844
It's so, so comfortable.
642
00:29:41,844 --> 00:29:43,429
- Moose!
- Sorry, mate.
643
00:29:47,392 --> 00:29:48,393
[Bill] Leg it.
644
00:29:51,479 --> 00:29:53,398
[groans] Not again. [sniffs]
645
00:29:53,398 --> 00:29:55,358
[Honesty grunts, pants]
646
00:29:55,358 --> 00:29:57,277
[banging]
647
00:29:58,319 --> 00:30:00,113
Been in any good cupboards lately?
648
00:30:00,864 --> 00:30:01,865
All right, big chin?
649
00:30:03,074 --> 00:30:07,036
You must have realized by now that
you can never outrun Jonathan Wilde.
650
00:30:08,079 --> 00:30:09,289
- Time to--
- [Christopher] Dad.
651
00:30:09,289 --> 00:30:10,582
- Time to make--
- Dad.
652
00:30:10,582 --> 00:30:12,250
- Time to make--
- Dad!
653
00:30:12,250 --> 00:30:13,918
- For crying out loud, what?
- Cartwheel!
654
00:30:13,918 --> 00:30:15,461
Hmm? [groans]
655
00:30:15,461 --> 00:30:16,629
[glass shattering]
656
00:30:16,629 --> 00:30:18,214
I did flag that up actually.
657
00:30:35,523 --> 00:30:38,443
[Dick] Am I gonna have to ride
this small horse all the time?
658
00:30:38,443 --> 00:30:40,987
[Nell] Oh, stop moaning.
It's all I could get at short notice.
659
00:30:40,987 --> 00:30:43,656
[Dick] I mean, I'm the leader.
I should be on a big horse.
660
00:30:43,656 --> 00:30:45,116
I've been on bigger dogs.
661
00:30:45,116 --> 00:30:47,702
[gang laughing]
662
00:30:58,338 --> 00:31:00,423
Right. Let's get on with it.
663
00:31:00,423 --> 00:31:01,549
[grunting]
664
00:31:04,177 --> 00:31:06,471
Christopher,
the whole point of a wanted poster
665
00:31:06,471 --> 00:31:08,806
is people see it and recognize who it is.
666
00:31:08,806 --> 00:31:11,601
This looks like a turtle wearing a dress.
667
00:31:11,601 --> 00:31:12,852
- Who did this?
- Alf.
668
00:31:13,728 --> 00:31:15,688
Alf? Alf from the pub?
669
00:31:15,688 --> 00:31:18,483
Everyone knows he can't draw for toffee.
670
00:31:18,483 --> 00:31:20,860
- How many of these have you had made?
- 3000.
671
00:31:21,444 --> 00:31:24,614
Blood and sand, Christopher.
[sighs] When do schools go back?
49280
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