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"Will & Grace" is shot before
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a live studio audience.
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Well, I'm off to Divorce Attorney.
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Wish me money.
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00:00:09,035 --> 00:00:10,818
So, you and Stan are really over?
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- Yep.
- Do you wanna talk?
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Why?
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Must have all kinds of feelings.
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00:00:20,664 --> 00:00:23,014
Is it the word "feelings"
that's bumping you?
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00:00:23,016 --> 00:00:24,949
Honey, feelings are for poor people
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and the liberals who love them.
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Okay, but, you know,
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I'm here if you ever
change your... personality.
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What up, Smudge?
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Heads up. Your sister's here.
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Uh, when were you gonna tell me?
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What?
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I just saw what you're wearing.
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00:00:54,000 --> 00:01:00,074
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It's pretty.
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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- Janet, did you sleep here?
- Yeah, well,
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you were such a douche about
me staying at your place.
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Well, that's because the last time,
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you brought that weird
guy with the anxiety rat.
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Uh, that's a real thing.
That rat has his own bus seat.
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Did you ever find it?
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What do you mean, did I ever find it?
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Never mind.
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Janet, you gotta get out of here.
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I've got a client coming.
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I'm in crisis, Smudge...
not that you asked.
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- Frank's cheating on me.
- Janet...
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If I had any balls,
I'd tell him it's over,
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but his wife just got back
from active duty.
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I'm sure they'll both
thank you for your service.
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Good night, Mr. Truman.
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Really? "Mr. Truman" is so formal.
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00:02:06,859 --> 00:02:09,787
Call me William, guys,
or Professor Truman...
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00:02:09,789 --> 00:02:13,024
- But you're not a full Profe...
- Good night, Jill.
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00:02:14,728 --> 00:02:16,360
Oh, hey, kids. Yeah.
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Swell of you to visit the
elderly in your spare time.
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Another study group?
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I like being the teacher all
the kids wanna hang out with.
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00:02:26,399 --> 00:02:29,533
Yeah, no, they seemed
really eager to stay.
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I'll have you know they invited me
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to a warehouse party.
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Ooh, a rave, yeah.
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Remember those nights?
All those hot guys?
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Yeah, you dancing along on a
box in nothing but short shorts
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and a retainer?
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And you with your little
baggy of orange slices?
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♪ Key change ♪
54
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Check it out.
55
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You bought your wedding rings?
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I did.
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First ring I'll ever wear on my finger.
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You and Estefan are
really getting married.
59
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,425
Our time has come.
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00:03:03,427 --> 00:03:04,835
Before I was ready to settle down,
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00:03:04,837 --> 00:03:07,421
I just had to get a couple
guys out of my system.
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- And then in my system.
- Mm-hmm.
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And then back out of my system.
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You wrote, "To my soulmate"
inside his ring.
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Well, he is...
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Never thought I'd meet
my soulmate, but I did.
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Well, I'm gonna cry.
68
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Maybe you should save your tears
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until you get your Amex bill.
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I kid!
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...You not.
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Listen, Grace, I've already been here
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longer than I wanna be here,
so let's wrap this up.
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I've got ten minutes.
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Wait, I have so much to show you.
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- Nine.
- Oh, okay, I understand.
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Um, I've got some... some fun paint ideas
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that I'm gonna show you,
and this time, I am confident
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that it won't give you,
as you put it, eye herpes.
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Hey, Grace.
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How dark is pee supposed to be?
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Oh, sorry.
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Don't be. That's a legitimate question.
84
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It's supposed to be
the color of pale hay.
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Then I should see a doctor.
86
00:04:11,576 --> 00:04:13,610
You're adorable. Who are you?
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00:04:13,612 --> 00:04:14,944
- Janet.
- Janet.
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That's a beautiful name.
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Have a drink with me.
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00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:21,551
- Sure, but I'm straight.
- Are you?
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00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,653
- Yes, yes.
- Are you? Are you?
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You tell me.
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What is this?
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Chocolate milk?
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00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:35,999
Guess one of the kids must have left it.
96
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:37,417
You know what?
97
00:04:37,419 --> 00:04:38,668
I'm doing it...
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This is our rave.
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I'll drop one bread
and two fats tomorrow.
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00:04:45,844 --> 00:04:48,021
- Oh, mmm.
- Gimme some.
101
00:04:52,484 --> 00:04:53,783
Takes you back, right?
102
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Yeah, totally.
103
00:04:56,304 --> 00:04:58,588
Hey, you need to do something
about your doorman.
104
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,524
- He's a little handsy.
- We don't have a doorman.
105
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,228
Oh, makes sense.
106
00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:09,399
What kind of doorman would
test people for colon cancer?
107
00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:15,572
So, did you have time to
look over my divorce papers?
108
00:05:15,574 --> 00:05:17,540
Oh, yeah, uh,
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looks like Stan got the cabin in Vermont,
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but you got Vermont.
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Suck it, New England...
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00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:28,096
Jack used to have
a tank top that said that.
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Oh?
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So, now what?
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I just sign these and that's it?
116
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Pretty much.
117
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Once you've done that, you're
no longer Mrs. Stanley Walker.
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Hm, it's that easy...
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You okay?
120
00:05:42,566 --> 00:05:44,694
You gotta be struggling
with how hard this is.
121
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I had a tank top that said that too.
122
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Good Lord, why is everybody
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making such a big deal out of this?
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What, do you want me to sing
a torch song or something?
125
00:05:56,344 --> 00:05:58,915
- I'm fine.
- Oh, Karen.
126
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,484
I know this is hard to swallow.
127
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,310
Yes, a T-shirt...
128
00:06:05,997 --> 00:06:08,158
It's a piece of paper.
129
00:06:08,183 --> 00:06:09,783
It doesn't mean anything.
130
00:06:09,785 --> 00:06:13,064
It's like a restraining order, or...
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the Constitution.
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00:06:20,062 --> 00:06:21,828
Are you sure you're okay?
133
00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:24,030
Honey, I am better than ever,
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00:06:24,032 --> 00:06:26,309
and I'm ready for my second act.
135
00:06:26,334 --> 00:06:27,934
Now, that's a great attitude
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00:06:27,936 --> 00:06:29,235
to take into your next 100 years.
137
00:06:29,237 --> 00:06:30,582
Ah.
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00:06:31,256 --> 00:06:33,456
Ooh, is this choc-y milk?
139
00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:35,670
You drink chocolate milk?
140
00:06:36,444 --> 00:06:38,711
It's my own vice.
141
00:06:40,999 --> 00:06:42,552
Shh.
142
00:06:43,752 --> 00:06:46,765
I'd love to stick around, but
we all know that's not true.
143
00:06:48,123 --> 00:06:50,790
God, this stuff is addictive.
144
00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:52,729
I don't remember chocolate milk
being so good.
145
00:06:53,328 --> 00:06:54,689
Will...
146
00:07:12,147 --> 00:07:13,813
I feel kind of funny.
147
00:07:13,815 --> 00:07:16,015
Wait, those kids were going out to party.
148
00:07:16,017 --> 00:07:17,517
Do you think they put something in this?
149
00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:19,452
No, they're law students.
150
00:07:19,454 --> 00:07:20,953
They wouldn't do anything illegal.
151
00:07:20,955 --> 00:07:22,522
Oh, okay...
152
00:07:22,524 --> 00:07:23,856
Oh, wait. Hold on.
153
00:07:23,858 --> 00:07:25,925
I gotta get that butterfly
off your shoulder.
154
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Thanks...
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00:07:30,865 --> 00:07:33,016
Must have come from over there.
156
00:07:37,906 --> 00:07:39,806
I don't remember putting in
a butterfly door,
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but I like it.
158
00:07:45,922 --> 00:07:49,041
♪ Ha-ba-da, bee-ba-da ♪
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00:07:49,043 --> 00:07:51,577
Oh, street meat.
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00:07:51,579 --> 00:07:54,329
It's my one vice. Shh.
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00:07:54,331 --> 00:07:56,498
One, please.
162
00:08:00,421 --> 00:08:03,338
Huh, that's unusual.
163
00:08:11,381 --> 00:08:13,048
Oh, crap.
164
00:08:13,050 --> 00:08:16,351
I forgot I was performing tonight.
165
00:08:16,353 --> 00:08:19,438
Oh, thanks, honey.
166
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,940
Testing, testing. Is this thing on?
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00:08:21,942 --> 00:08:24,076
Check, check, one. Check, one, two.
168
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,340
- So, shall we look at fabrics?
- Hold on.
169
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,719
I want my girlfriend to weigh in.
170
00:08:30,721 --> 00:08:32,307
Of course. I didn't know
you were seeing anyone.
171
00:08:32,309 --> 00:08:34,379
She's new. Babe!
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00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,914
Never been good at relationships,
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00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,417
probably 'cause I'm a bitch.
174
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,319
Okay, so, for the sofa,
I was thinking that...
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00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,854
What up, Smudge?
176
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:43,988
Janet, what are you doing here?
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Her.
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00:08:47,077 --> 00:08:48,762
You have got to be kidding me.
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I'm a lesbian now.
180
00:08:51,144 --> 00:08:52,474
Deal with it.
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00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,761
Poor thing.
182
00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:10,765
I'm gonna take her shoes.
183
00:09:19,276 --> 00:09:21,336
Your skin is so soft.
184
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:26,007
It's so... soft.
185
00:09:26,616 --> 00:09:27,949
It's so, like...
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00:09:28,118 --> 00:09:30,067
what is the word I'm thinking of?
187
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,138
- Soft?
- Yes!
188
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,256
You always find the word.
189
00:09:35,258 --> 00:09:37,292
I know so many words.
190
00:09:37,294 --> 00:09:38,710
Like what?
191
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,188
Cassoulet...
192
00:09:40,877 --> 00:09:43,294
oh, I know there are others.
193
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,133
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
194
00:09:45,135 --> 00:09:46,581
Words are just things people say.
195
00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:49,593
Yes, yes, yes.
It's like we're beyond words.
196
00:09:49,595 --> 00:09:51,116
Those are words.
197
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,958
"Soulmate." There's a word.
198
00:09:54,983 --> 00:09:57,117
It's like that's the
biggest word there is...
199
00:09:57,142 --> 00:09:58,675
not in terms of letters...
200
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:01,033
Cassoulet is longer... but the idea.
201
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,935
- Yeah.
- What is a soulmate?
202
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,771
Soulmate, soulmate.
Hey, let's look at the word.
203
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,174
- Let's look at it.
- Huh?
204
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:12,293
Oh, air-finger cursive.
205
00:10:12,295 --> 00:10:13,722
It's a lost art.
206
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:17,392
Right? Write?
207
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,468
Right?
208
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:23,838
Soulmate... a soulmate
is someone who knows you
209
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,474
better than anyone,
who takes care of you,
210
00:10:26,476 --> 00:10:30,178
someone who knows what
you need before you e...
211
00:10:32,349 --> 00:10:34,784
Why did you just hand me...
212
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:37,592
A tissue?
213
00:10:37,594 --> 00:10:39,988
Are you my soulmate?
214
00:10:42,192 --> 00:10:45,026
I might be. How would we know for sure?
215
00:10:48,498 --> 00:10:50,842
Whoever this ring fits,
216
00:10:52,335 --> 00:10:54,554
is my soulmate.
217
00:10:56,272 --> 00:10:58,973
Ow. Ow.
218
00:10:58,998 --> 00:11:00,422
Ow...
219
00:11:00,468 --> 00:11:02,145
It fits!
220
00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:08,883
Okay, okay, this is happening.
221
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:09,929
Told you she'd be weird about it.
222
00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:11,811
She doesn't want to think
about her sister having sex.
223
00:11:11,813 --> 00:11:15,306
Well, who does, besides
Angelina Jolie's brother?
224
00:11:16,526 --> 00:11:18,393
This conversation makes me
wanna do heroin again.
225
00:11:18,395 --> 00:11:20,177
Let's look at fabrics.
226
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,363
Yes, fabrics. Of course.
227
00:11:22,365 --> 00:11:24,866
Um, and I also brought
some new carpet samples...
228
00:11:24,868 --> 00:11:26,534
She's already seen a new carpet sample.
229
00:11:26,536 --> 00:11:28,736
Soon as it came out of my mouth.
230
00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:32,073
How did we not notice this before?
231
00:11:32,075 --> 00:11:33,541
My soulmate was right across the hall!
232
00:11:33,543 --> 00:11:35,159
Mine too!
233
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:37,412
I mean, it's so obvious.
We finish each other's...
234
00:11:37,414 --> 00:11:39,349
- Penises.
- That's what I was gonna say.
235
00:11:40,781 --> 00:11:42,664
Okay, what am I thinking right now?
236
00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:45,355
- I'm not getting anything.
- I wasn't thinking anything!
237
00:11:46,152 --> 00:11:48,620
Do you know what this means?
Do you know what this means?
238
00:11:48,622 --> 00:11:50,672
I have to tell Estefan you're
my soulmate before I marry him.
239
00:11:50,674 --> 00:11:52,207
He'll totally understand. Call him now.
240
00:11:52,209 --> 00:11:53,506
Oh, okay. Excellent.
241
00:11:53,508 --> 00:11:55,710
I just have to wait for that
rabbit to get off the phone.
242
00:11:55,712 --> 00:11:59,180
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm,
mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
243
00:11:59,182 --> 00:12:00,799
Wanda, Wanda, listen, no.
244
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:03,122
You're the one who wanted
an open relationship.
245
00:12:03,887 --> 00:12:06,206
Oh, I'm so glad you're my soulmate.
246
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:08,139
- Me too.
- I'm gonna make you a sandwich.
247
00:12:08,141 --> 00:12:09,858
- I don't want a sandwich.
- Excuse me?
248
00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:11,726
I said I don't need you
to make me a sandwich.
249
00:12:11,728 --> 00:12:13,361
Of course you do. I take care of you.
250
00:12:13,363 --> 00:12:16,197
- I'm your soulmate.
- I already ate with Estefan.
251
00:12:16,199 --> 00:12:19,150
Well, just un-eat with him.
252
00:12:19,152 --> 00:12:20,368
I refuse!
253
00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:22,237
You bitch!
254
00:12:28,695 --> 00:12:30,078
Get out! I never wanna see you again.
255
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,297
I never wanna be seen by you!
256
00:12:37,652 --> 00:12:40,453
Hey, babe, what are we
feeling about the wall color?
257
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:41,924
Why? Do we think it's too dark?
258
00:12:41,926 --> 00:12:43,089
I think we might.
259
00:12:43,091 --> 00:12:44,724
Oh, I think we think it works.
260
00:12:44,726 --> 00:12:46,559
And how about we leave the
designing to the designer
261
00:12:46,561 --> 00:12:49,229
instead of the woman who thinks
the paper flip-flops you get
262
00:12:49,231 --> 00:12:52,431
after a pedicure are okay
to wear synagogue?
263
00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:53,650
That's homophobic.
264
00:12:53,652 --> 00:12:55,285
Uh, okay. It's not.
265
00:12:55,287 --> 00:12:57,120
And you are not a lesbian.
266
00:12:57,122 --> 00:13:00,073
You're an Adler. We don't work that hard.
267
00:13:00,075 --> 00:13:01,440
I'm sorry.
268
00:13:01,442 --> 00:13:04,461
Donna, my sister is
just as straight as I am.
269
00:13:04,463 --> 00:13:07,130
- Are you? Are you? Are you?
- Yes, yes.
270
00:13:07,132 --> 00:13:09,063
Watch out. This is where it happens.
271
00:13:10,836 --> 00:13:12,502
Oh, that must be
272
00:13:12,504 --> 00:13:14,861
my intervention I keep rescheduling.
273
00:13:15,623 --> 00:13:17,757
You always think you're gonna have time.
274
00:13:19,261 --> 00:13:20,510
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
275
00:13:20,512 --> 00:13:22,145
Thank you so much.
276
00:13:22,147 --> 00:13:25,348
Benny and I are going to
take it down a notch.
277
00:13:25,350 --> 00:13:28,022
This one is for my man...
278
00:13:29,154 --> 00:13:30,835
The one that got away.
279
00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:35,325
Jack? Jack!
280
00:13:35,327 --> 00:13:37,660
Will, Will!
281
00:13:37,662 --> 00:13:39,329
- Will!
- I'm over here.
282
00:13:39,331 --> 00:13:41,314
Will, I was so lost.
283
00:13:41,316 --> 00:13:43,500
What's happening to us?
284
00:13:43,502 --> 00:13:45,308
I don't know.
285
00:13:46,505 --> 00:13:48,671
But I don't feel comfortable
talking about it
286
00:13:48,673 --> 00:13:50,540
in front of her.
287
00:13:52,794 --> 00:13:54,660
- Praise be.
- Under his eye.
288
00:13:56,831 --> 00:13:58,515
What are you doing?
289
00:13:58,517 --> 00:14:01,467
Just because you go out
with guys without jobs, cars,
290
00:14:01,469 --> 00:14:04,354
or all of their fingers
doesn't make you gay.
291
00:14:04,356 --> 00:14:06,339
Why can't you be happy for me?
292
00:14:06,341 --> 00:14:09,175
Because, honestly, I think
that this is a little pathetic.
293
00:14:09,177 --> 00:14:10,393
I am not pathetic.
294
00:14:10,395 --> 00:14:12,564
- You say I'm not pathetic.
- No.
295
00:14:12,566 --> 00:14:13,646
- Pick a city.
- No!
296
00:14:13,648 --> 00:14:14,864
- Pick a city!
- Philadelphia.
297
00:14:14,866 --> 00:14:18,318
- P-H-I-L-A...
- Ow, ow, ow, ow.
298
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,654
Why don't I ever say LA?
299
00:14:23,408 --> 00:14:25,542
Fine! Be a lesbian.
300
00:14:25,544 --> 00:14:29,362
Have a Pussy Riot! Whatever.
301
00:14:29,364 --> 00:14:32,036
Just don't screw up this job for me.
302
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,217
- How am I screwing it up?
- Because it's what you do.
303
00:14:34,219 --> 00:14:37,337
You always make my life so difficult.
304
00:14:37,339 --> 00:14:40,206
I mean, my God, you are my older sister.
305
00:14:40,208 --> 00:14:42,592
You're supposed to be
the one to take care of me.
306
00:14:42,594 --> 00:14:44,543
It's true. I'm a terrible big sister.
307
00:14:44,545 --> 00:14:46,896
- Come on, Janet.
- What? I am.
308
00:14:47,412 --> 00:14:48,997
And I hate that.
309
00:14:49,717 --> 00:14:52,185
When you were born, mom put
you in my arms and said,
310
00:14:52,187 --> 00:14:54,354
"This is your baby.
311
00:14:54,356 --> 00:14:56,522
You have to take care of her."
312
00:14:56,524 --> 00:14:58,575
And I wanted to.
313
00:14:58,577 --> 00:15:00,693
I loved you so much.
314
00:15:00,695 --> 00:15:04,414
You put me into a basket
and threw me into a pond.
315
00:15:04,416 --> 00:15:06,950
That's what Moses' mom did.
316
00:15:06,952 --> 00:15:09,335
I was trying to give you a better life.
317
00:15:14,409 --> 00:15:16,626
You are not a failure.
318
00:15:16,628 --> 00:15:19,245
If anything, I am.
319
00:15:19,247 --> 00:15:21,881
Mom said, "Life is harder for Janet.
320
00:15:21,883 --> 00:15:23,823
Be kind to her."
321
00:15:24,386 --> 00:15:26,219
And I haven't been.
322
00:15:26,221 --> 00:15:29,889
Look, if you are a lesbian,
I will support you happily.
323
00:15:29,891 --> 00:15:32,442
I don't know if I am...
324
00:15:32,444 --> 00:15:34,894
Donna's cool.
325
00:15:34,896 --> 00:15:37,814
And she played me like a banjo.
326
00:15:48,743 --> 00:15:51,911
Well, you just ruined
Mumford & Sons for me.
327
00:15:53,781 --> 00:15:57,000
- I'm a mess.
- Who isn't?
328
00:15:59,671 --> 00:16:01,471
Now that mom's gone,
329
00:16:01,473 --> 00:16:05,308
maybe we should do that thing
she always wanted us to do.
330
00:16:05,310 --> 00:16:08,928
Neither one of us is
gonna marry Josh Groban.
331
00:16:08,930 --> 00:16:11,931
No. Look out for each other.
332
00:16:13,301 --> 00:16:15,652
Isn't that what sisters do?
333
00:16:15,654 --> 00:16:17,654
I love you, Janet.
334
00:16:17,656 --> 00:16:19,772
I love you so much.
335
00:16:21,776 --> 00:16:24,444
♪ Good riddance ♪
336
00:16:24,446 --> 00:16:27,780
♪ Good-bye ♪
337
00:16:27,782 --> 00:16:31,784
♪ Every trick of his ♪
338
00:16:31,786 --> 00:16:36,822
♪ You're on to ♪
339
00:16:36,824 --> 00:16:40,460
♪ But fools will be fools ♪
340
00:16:40,462 --> 00:16:42,295
♪ And where's he ♪
341
00:16:42,297 --> 00:16:47,633
♪ Gone to? ♪
342
00:16:47,635 --> 00:16:50,970
♪ The road is rougher ♪
343
00:16:50,972 --> 00:16:54,891
♪ It's lonelier and tougher ♪
344
00:16:54,893 --> 00:16:57,643
♪ With hope you burn up ♪
345
00:16:57,645 --> 00:17:01,680
♪ Tomorrow he may turn up ♪
346
00:17:01,682 --> 00:17:04,867
♪ There's just no letup ♪
347
00:17:04,869 --> 00:17:07,019
♪ The livelong night ♪
348
00:17:07,021 --> 00:17:12,075
♪ And day ♪
349
00:17:12,077 --> 00:17:17,530
♪ Ever since this world began ♪
350
00:17:17,532 --> 00:17:20,750
♪ There is nothing ♪
351
00:17:20,752 --> 00:17:25,922
♪ Sadder than ♪
352
00:17:28,510 --> 00:17:35,681
♪ A one-man woman ♪
353
00:17:37,902 --> 00:17:41,070
♪ Looking for ♪
354
00:17:41,072 --> 00:17:48,444
♪ The man that got ♪
355
00:17:49,914 --> 00:17:57,086
♪ Away ♪
356
00:17:57,622 --> 00:18:00,790
♪ The man ♪
357
00:18:00,792 --> 00:18:06,763
♪ That got ♪
358
00:18:08,633 --> 00:18:15,638
♪ Away ♪
359
00:18:21,763 --> 00:18:24,964
Bravo!
360
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,453
How you feeling?
361
00:18:34,455 --> 00:18:38,017
Better, although
I do miss the butterflies.
362
00:18:38,926 --> 00:18:41,093
Oh, God! Oh.
363
00:18:43,264 --> 00:18:45,264
Do I need to say anything to the school
364
00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:48,033
about my students lacing
chocolate milk with drugs?
365
00:18:48,035 --> 00:18:50,002
Depends, I mean,
366
00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,337
do you wanna do the right thing,
367
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:54,173
or be the cool teacher
that all the kids like?
368
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:57,243
- Eh, they're adults.
- Yeah.
369
00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:02,031
You know, all that stuff
we said about soulmates
370
00:19:02,033 --> 00:19:04,834
and sandwiches...
that was because of the...
371
00:19:04,836 --> 00:19:06,168
we were chocolate milking, right?
372
00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:09,288
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
373
00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:10,716
I mean...
374
00:19:12,326 --> 00:19:14,470
- What?
- Nothing, I...
375
00:19:15,179 --> 00:19:17,046
When you get married,
376
00:19:17,048 --> 00:19:19,164
you're still gonna need me, right?
377
00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:21,183
I mean, Estefan can have "soulmate,"
378
00:19:21,185 --> 00:19:24,186
but I'm not losing "best friend."
379
00:19:24,188 --> 00:19:27,389
Ugh. You're so obsessed with me.
380
00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:33,195
Of course you're my best friend, silly.
381
00:19:33,197 --> 00:19:34,980
Well, let's make it official.
382
00:19:38,018 --> 00:19:40,018
Jack, I'm asking you,
383
00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:42,238
in front of God,
384
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,407
and all the high-end
male erotica in this apartment.
385
00:19:47,528 --> 00:19:50,880
Do you promise to be in my life forever?
386
00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:53,718
I do.
387
00:19:54,201 --> 00:19:58,170
I promise to be here through
all your weight fluctuations...
388
00:19:58,172 --> 00:19:59,922
Mm-hmm.
389
00:19:59,924 --> 00:20:03,175
Every relationship you trick
a man into being a part of...
390
00:20:03,177 --> 00:20:05,060
Mm.
391
00:20:05,062 --> 00:20:07,229
All the botched
cosmetic surgery I'm sure...
392
00:20:07,231 --> 00:20:09,231
Okay, you're done.
You're good. You're good.
393
00:20:09,233 --> 00:20:12,101
And I... I promise
394
00:20:12,103 --> 00:20:14,363
to always lend you money,
395
00:20:15,055 --> 00:20:19,408
to not get mad when you return
my suit with the ass cut out,
396
00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:21,954
It said, "business casual."
397
00:20:26,117 --> 00:20:28,334
I know, buddy.
398
00:20:29,453 --> 00:20:31,253
- Hey, Will.
- Mm, yeah?
399
00:20:31,255 --> 00:20:34,373
You can make me that sandwich now.
400
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:36,458
I'd love to, but when we were high,
401
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:39,430
I used all the bread
to retile the bathroom.
402
00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:12,110
Good-bye,
403
00:21:12,112 --> 00:21:15,280
Mrs. Stanley Walker.
403
00:21:16,305 --> 00:21:22,808
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