All language subtitles for Uncle Drew (2018)

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Subtitles by explosiveskull

Deep in the concrete
canyons of Harlem, New York

stands a basketball court

where the legends
of the game are born.

Rucker Park.

Between the lines
of this battleground,

a great many tales of
warriors have come and gone.

But there was one player

whose talent soared
far above the rest.

His name, Uncle Drew.

- So good.
- Incredible. Like, scary good.

- Dominating. - Dangerous. -
Best of the best. - Bananas.

I mean, you knew he just
brought things to the game

that the game had never seen before.
Changed the face of basketball.

Drew been dangerous
since birth.

My pops played him one-on-one
in the seventh grade.

He broke my pop's ankle.

True story. Gym
teacher gave him a "D."

You know, he'll show you one trick,
then beat you with another trick.

Shakin' people's sneakers off.
They fallin' out the trees.

He was a bad man. He went
to one end of the court,

shot the lights out, went to
the other end of the court,

shot it back on again. Man, he
was good enough to be the logo.

Wait, I thought you
were the NBA logo.

It's actually Uncle Drew.
They just shaved his afro off.

One time, he took on "The Destroyer"
and beat him only with his left hand.

And then, hold
on. Wait for it.

With his right hand, he
was eating a ham sandwich.

Was there anyone out there
better than Uncle Drew?

With word of Sandwichgate

and Black Ankle Sunday both
spreading like wildfire,

Uncle Drew and his
childhood friends

shot to the top of the
first Rucker Classic in '68.

But it was not long before
it all came crashing down.

It had to be something concerning
him and a female. We knew that.

Uncle Drew and
the ladies? Yeah.

Man, the rumor
was Drew slept with

one of his teammate's girl
the night before the finals.

And when it came time
to play in the finals,

they were all a complete
and total no-show.

And after that he
just disappeared.

Despite the mysterious
disappearance of its greatest player,

the fabled park is
still the epicenter

of the streetball universe.

The question is, will
this year's Rucker Classic

see the birth of a
new playground legend?

Give me that. - Yo, what's
up? - What was that?

Hey, what's the problem, man? Mario
was open. Maybe Mario was open,

maybe he wasn't. But you know what
- the problem with that is? - Huh?

Mario. Hey, I don't know what you
doin'... - Close your ears! - Mmm-hmm.

Mario is terrible.
Okay? Look at him.

I just told a grown
man to cover his ears,

- and that's what he just did.
- Coach, what are you saying?

Grab the ball, Casper.

You are my Beyonce.
Okay? Beyonce?

Not Dantay, not White
Dantay, not Regular Jeff,

not Little Melvin, not
Little Melvin's stunt double.

Okay, they're just
Destiny's Children.

You are the star.
You are my Queen B.

- All right.
- Let's make Lemonade, man. Score the rock.

All right, now look
here, everybody.

I'mma say this once.
Nobody else shoot the ball.

Just Casper. Let's go.

Dax Winslow. Sal
Masekela, Slam Magazine.

- Slam Magazine, huh?
- Yes, sir.

You mind if I get a
couple of sound bites?

Do I mind? No, you
shoulda been talking to me.

Um...

How does a guy who
works at Foot Locker

get a beast like Casper Jones

to play for him
in Rucker Park?

Game recognize game.
He's the best player.

I'm the best coach.
We gonna take it all.

I'm telling you, this dude is amazing,
man. Put me and Casper on the cover.

- You know who that is, right?
- Know who who is?

Who Mookie Bass is.

A.k.a. that
Macklemore-lookin' dude

that's makin' eyes at
your meal ticket, man.

The hell is he doing
here? Hey, what's up, Dix?

First of all, you know my name is Dax.
A "bag of Dax" don't make no sense.

What is that?
What's that smell?

Is that a grudge? Are you still holdin'
a grudge 'cause I blocked your shot?

I have no recollection or even
know what you even talkin' about.

Okay, let me refresh your memory, then.
You're about to hit a three-pointer.

Outta nowhere, a little
white boy comes up...

Bam! Blocked that shot,
I think, with my armpit.

Well, but I do remember,
there was that Spalding...

You didn't even jump that
high. So like nipple...

It was high enough that I could see
your face like this. You were like...

Okay, stop! That's not... I didn't
do that. What are you doin'? Stop.

Casper, take it from the
top. Do something, y'all.

Defense, Dantays, figure
it out. Casper Jones, huh?

Could you just literally
give me some space, man?

Yo, you seen this tat
though, right here?

That's the one where I blocked
your shot and won the game.

And then these are the only
ones that really matter.

Bam! Seven of nine
Rucker Championships.

But don't you worry, Dix. I got plenty
of length on my Dax for the next one.

I don't care. I don't wanna
hear about your man junk.

Is there a point to all this?
Yeah, I guess my point is,

when you have a history of
winning as many titles as I do,

cats like Casper Jones, they have
a way of gravitating towards you.

So I'll see you
when I see you, Dix.

Hey, Casper. Hey, man, let
me talk to you real quick.

- What's up, coach?
- We good, right? You know what I mean? Me and you.

- Yeah, we all right.
- Do you need anything?

You know what'd be
dope? The new Space Jams.

They are amazing. They
pretty expensive, like $225.

- Straight fire, though.
- They fire. But you know what?

I just thought about it. I sold
the last pair this morning.

The good news is, in
another week and a half,

we get new stock, and I
got a pair just for you.

- Okay. I like that.
- Yeah. You like that? Yeah, yeah, we all right.

I got you, brother. So
it's me and you, we good?

- Yeah, we rollin'. - You with me.
- I'm with you, dog. - Forever.

- Forever. - Dax and Casper. - Yeah, you
my bro. - All right, man. I love you.

- Love you, too, man.
- We good, right? Yeah, no doubt. All right.

Cool.

Don't worry, Dax.

Don't worry, Dax.
We'll find you a family.

- Yes.
- All right!

We'll find you a family.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh! What a move by Jordan!

Jordan with the moves!

Man, what an inspiration!

Just listen to the
crowd! They love him!

They love him!

They love him! They love him!

Yes!

Yo, can we run
with you? Yes, yes.

No! You need to
be on the bench!

- He's worthless!
- You suck, Dax!

- You need new glasses!
- He's the worst! You suck!

Dax, that was unbearable!

Dream sequence...

Boy, you better than cable. Look,
you wouldn't even understand, okay?

It's terrible. Dreamin'
about that little white boy

slappin' that ball out your hand? - Now,
how do I look? - You look expensive.

Man, you know I can't
afford Gucci on my salary.

Which is why when you
and Casper win the Rucker

and the $100,000 check
that come with it,

we'll be just fine.
Baby, I thought that 100K,

we was gonna use to start
a family. I want a Tesla.

I would look so
cute in a Tesla.

And I'd have the little
screen on the side

and then I could be like,
"Boop, boop, boop, boop!"

And all my homegirls
gonna be like,

"Look at Jess killin'
'em in a Tesla."

Well, I mean, this sounds like

a beautiful, beautiful dream and everything,
but I didn't hear my name one time.

You didn't say, "Oh, Dax
was in the Tesla with me."

Baby, you gonna be there,
too. It's gonna be me and you,

and we just gonna be one big
happy family. I love that.

Well, don't let the ghost of white boy
past scare you out of gettin' this money.

You win this game, and you win
this money, and bring it back home.

- I'm motivated, baby!
- Whoo!

Bam! That's right. These
shoes right here are classic.

I wore these shoes last night, little
man, and I had a quadruple-double.

- Look.
- That's right.

I didn't want to say this,
but he isn't even that good.

Why would you say
that about your baby?

Are you a stepmother or something?
- You the real mother? - Yeah.

You shouldn't...

Oh, you know something? Matter
of fact, Larry, help her out.

- Hey, baby.
- Oh! Hey, girl! I thought we were goin' to lunch today.

You right. We supposed to have
lunch. Yeah, I'm very hungry.

I been shoppin'
all day. Look it.

I know. Look, do me a favor,
babe. Just give me a second.

Just go look at some shoes or
something. Do they got them new RiRis?

RiRis, BeeBees, whoever
you need, it's over there.

Do they got 'em? Because,
you know, I do not wanna

be shoppin' unless I
can get them new RiRis.

'Cause she a savage, too.
You a savage and you fine.

- I'm fine?
- Yeah. Well, boy, you better shut up.

Over there, look at those RiRis, you
know what I mean? I see you, boo.

- She ready. Yeah!
- She ready.

Oh. Do you see the
RiRis over here?

Yo, my main man, Casper. What up,
brother? What up, Dax? How you doin', man?

The myth, the legend in the
makin'. Hold that thought.

Man, I'm confused. I thought
these were out of stock.

Bruh, the truck
came this morning

and dropped off a new stock
of shoes. I was gonna call you.

So you gonna hook us up, then?

Oh, so you want me to
get shoes for everybody.

Everybody. This
dude, and this guy...

If you can't do it, I got
plenty of people that...

I got you. I'mma
take care of you,

and your whole squad.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's a
lot better. Taxes included.

After I put in my
employee discount,

which will probably
get me fired...

The total is $833.50.

Everybody, it's on Dax.

It's on... It's on Dax.
Shoes for all y'all.

Oh, hey, Casper. Oh,
hey, baby, how you doin'?

Good, how you doin'? Oh, baby,
that's our meal ticket right there.

Oh, my goodness. Let me show
you what I found on Zillow.

I found a really
cute brownstone.

Two bedroom, hardwood
floors... Transaction denied.

Damn it! - Excuse me, what's
goin' on? - Damn what?

Marty, don't worry
about it. Aw, hell no.

If the money for these shoes that
just magically flew out of here

don't come up in 60 seconds, you
and Miss Belly Out goin' to jail.

What the hell you talkin' about?
First off, I didn't do nothin' wrong,

so I ain't goin' to jail. But thank
you for noticin' that my belly's out.

Come here, come
here, come here. What?

That kid that just
left here... Mmm-hmm?

He's gonna change our
lives forever. 50 percent.

I mean, at the most, I could do 49
percent. You got 30 seconds, brother!

All right, 50 percent.

Cool!

It's nice doin'
business with you, boo.

50 percent. I'm
gettin' 50 percent.

Marty, did you hear
that? 50 percent.

Yo, yo, yo, yo!

Look at this, man. Fresh
off the presses, y'all.

Harlem Money, you see
that? Come on, y'all, look!

Go grab your jersey, come on. I didn't
know you got money for second place.

Hey, man, what the
hell you doin' here?

Why don't you enlighten
this fool, C-Dawg?

- C-Dawg? - I'm C-Dawg
now. New team, new nickname.

- Wait, what?
- Wait, what? That's what I said to him. I was like,

"C-Dawg, don't you wanna be coached
by a dude who looks like an M&M?

What about a dude who looks
straight up like a basketball?

Like a Syracuse Orange man."

I've spent my life savings

just to get in
this tournament.

I gotta give my girlfriend
half the winnings

or she's gonna leave me.

I took three buses and a train
just to pick up those jerseys.

Those Jordans, man! You
know how much that cost me?

Yo, by the way, thank you for
the kicks. They are mad expensive.

There was no way I was gonna buy
'em. All right, boys, let's roll.

Come back here!
Dantay! Other Dantay!

- Casper, take off those shoes.
- I'mma hold these. You hear me, Casper?

Take off those shoes!

And comin' in at number one

on SportsCenter's
"Not Top Ten" list...

With the Rucker 50
right around the corner,

we have a meltdown
from New York City.

I'm told the man you see here
is a coach named Dax Winslow.

And, Dax, the good news is

you're on SportsCenter.
The bad news is... Dax!

What's up, girl? What'd I do wrong
now? I have so many questions.

You're rolling
around on the ground,

trying to take somebody's
sneakers off their sweaty feet?

Is this your team? Are these
even your players? Come on, man!

Dax, this is Rucker,
man. Have some respect.

Damn you, Scott Van Pelt! Give
me the shoe, Casper! Right now!

...flopping around on
the ground like fish.

Everything gonna be all right,
okay? I'mma figure something out.

I can't do this anymore.

Excuse me? Do you think
that I'm countin' on you?

'Cause I'm not. No, I
was counting on Casper.

And you lost him. You
can't even do that right.

Go in there, pack your
stuff up, and leave.

You can't just kick me out our
house. This is my apartment.

Do you even remember the
last time you paid rent?

Okay, every Taco Tuesday,
who buy the $2 tacos?

Don't nobody care
about no damn tacos!

Okay, I paid the water bill -
that one time. - Get out my house!

Jess, I ain't got
nowhere to go. You know?

I didn't have no family.
And then I met you.

And you took me in.
And you changed my life.

Baby, we in this together.
You're my everything.

Please, just let me stay
here and figure things out.

Hey! Don't leave
with my bag, fool.

Where I'm supposed to put my stuff?
Leave with what you came with!

Fine, I'll give you back
your stupid, fake bag.

It's not stupid, you stupid.

My bag is smarter than you!

Give my shoes back!

This is Rucker, man. You're
supposed to have some respect.

You're rolling around
on the ground...

trying to take somebody's
sneakers off their sweaty feet?

I know y'all think this is
all fun and games and stuff.

But I used everything I
got on this tournament.

Did you get a receipt? Huh? No,
man, the money's non-refundable.

That's cold.

This a perfect opportunity
for Dax to meet Uncle Drew!

Don't start that in here with
the old and the Uncle Drews.

You're trying to throw a
toothpick in a lumberyard.

The man is the
greatest blacktop player

I ever seen in my life. He's
real. I've seen that boy put up

40 points against The Destroyers.
Using just his left hand and his chin.

His other hand, he had a ham
sandwich with extra cheese on it.

And mayo. He likes
mayonnaise. Okay, come on, man,

that's just like
talking about Bigfoot.

Bigfoot. You can't compare
Bigfoot to Uncle Drew.

Son of a bitch used to date my sister.
He used to date my sister and my mother.

He actually hit - my eighth
grade teacher. - Ooh!

Ain't none of my business what
that man does in his bedtime.

I know he had a foot fetish.

All right. The '60s was a
wild time. Okay? So what?

Remember them Buicks?
Everybody had them damn Buicks.

You'd ride around, had them big old
back seat. You can't move your hips.

But you can still move your lips.
Hey, I ain't gonna go no further.

All you need is some
Viagra, and some dress socks.

Ain't have no damn
Viagra back then!

You had to get two ice-cream
sticks and a rubber band

to make the stuff
stand up like that.

I don't have time for this, man. I
gotta go. Hey, whoa, whoa. Hold on, Dax,

hold on. Now, look.

You need to go holler
at Uncle Drew. Okay?

He's a Zen master of basketball.
But you gotta believe.

Hey, look. Maybe he was good.

But you think this old man
can still ball? Come on, bruh.

I'm good, man. I gotta
find some players, man.

You'll be sorry, Dax.
Don't do that to yourself.

Get with Drew! Get with Drew!

Welcome to the jungle, baby.

Get out of here. Go corner,
corner, corner! Corner!

Over here, over here, hold
on, son! See, that right there,

that's the problem
with your generation.

Million dollar move and a five cent
finish. You haven't made a shot yet.

Come on!

- I was open.
- I had to shoot it, man,

I've taken out trash that
don't stink as bad as that.

Dr. Naismith would be
rolling in his grave

if he knew what these
bums is up to out here.

You talk a lot of
smack for a geriatric.

It's a shame you can't
back any of it up.

And who's to say I can't?

All right, then,
what's the bet?

If you win...

I'll leave the park and I'll never
come back. - Good. - Real good.

But if I win,
you and your crew

start playing the game the
way it's meant to be played.

Oh, how's that?
On a peach basket?

It's like a perfectly
orchestrated symphony.

What?

Not any instrument is more important
than another. And what's in it for you?

Love, youngblood. Only love.
What is this dude talking about?

What the hell does that even
mean? What are you talking about?

Hold my nuts. Hold your nuts?

Hey, J! Look at this dude out
here. Everybody off the court.

Get off the court, man. Get
your big behind off the court.

Hey, man. Give
him the business.

Ball up. Hey, young fella,
you better watch that.

Aren't you gonna get in your
stance? I am in my stance.

Don't worry, grandpa. Gonna have
you home in plenty of time for NCIS.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey. For the show
I know though,

even a bum ain't as
broke as your jump shot.

- Give it to him, J.
- Prove it. You wanna see it rain?

Let it rain. Raindrops. 2-0.

Next basket wins it. It's getting
to be about that time, ain't it?

Yeah, give it to him.
This game is over.

It's time for you to change your PIN
number. 'Cause you just got robbed.

- Come on back.
- J, come on, son! You want me to tell you your first mistake

or your second? What's the
matter, you forgot the score?

One. You got too cocky.

There's a fine line between
confidence and arrogance, youngblood.

Come on back. Come on back.

And then, two, you're
giving up your lead hip.

You might as well
unlock the door

and have your wife show
me where the china is.

I wouldn't do that
either if I was you.

Come on, J! No, no!

He cookin' your boy. Man, you need to go
back there and play with them kids, man.

I get buckets.
Shut up, old man.

Go on, youngblood.

Check ball.

This game is all
mental. All mental.

Hand down, man down.

- Anybody got a GPS?
- Come on, J!

You know, gonna need a whole
new zip code on that one.

Game point,
youngblood. Whatever.

You ready?

Yo, I'll give you that. Nah.
Nah, don't give him that.

You still don't believe,
do you? Get your hand up!

No, don't give it
to him. Don't...

Don't do him like
that, Uncle Drew!

Youngblood.

Good game.

Who is that dude?

Hey! Hey! Hey! Oh...

Oh, my God, man. That was a pretty
amazing show you put on back there.

It was one of the greatest
things I've ever seen, honestly.

How're you doing? M-my name
is Dax. I'm not interested.

I haven't even told you what
I'm trying to do. Okay, okay.

You can't believe
someone that looks like me

can play like Jordan, Magic, or Bird.
You want to take advantage of that.

See if you can cash in
somehow. I know your MO.

What? No, no. You got me all wrong,
man. Look, I just want to talk to you

about the Rucker,
you know? The Rucker?

You don't know nothing about
no real Rucker, youngblood.

Exactly. You right.
I don't know anything

about the Rucker.
A lot of us don't.

But someone like you could help us,
man. We could combine the old school

with the new school, right? Like
a old school, new school remix.

Where you can educate all the youngbloods
who are lost in their way, right?

And show 'em what they're really
doing wrong. You can do that.

Is a lot of lost
youngbloods out there, huh?

It is so many lost youngbloods
out here, it is ridiculous.

If I could help them, I would, but
I don't know, because I'm lost, too.

Okay? And that's why we need you.
Look, look, look. Perfect example.

This is, this is who you are.

You a lonely lighthouse
in a sea of fog.

I actually kind of like that. - I
like that. - That's good, ain't it?

Yeah, yeah, that's good, that's
good. That's what I'm telling you.

You are coming to
the rescue, man.

You get a chance to teach this
in front of a bigger audience.

At the Rucker. The Rucker.

Rucker.

The Rucker would be nice.

I'll tell you what. I'll
do it on one condition.

Yes!

Anything you want. I don't
care what it is. I got you.

It's gotta be
my team. My boys.

Okay. Anything but that.
No. Because it's my team.

Yeah, I guess we done
here. Dax whatever...

Okay, okay, okay.

I'm in, okay? My
team. Your roster.

It's my team, my roster.

Look, where you goin'?

It's a long drive
to Chocolate City.

Wait, Chocolate
City? What's in D.C.?

Preacher. He's the best power
forward I ever played with.

I mean, you don't know
no local power forward?

Somebody that stay
in the neighborhood?

Here she is. Yeah.

You know, so if Billy Dee Willams
and Diana Ross had a love child,

it would've definitely been inside
this van. Go on and look way back there.

Go ahead. Take a look.
Take a look way back there.

That right there is
the boom boom room.

Boom boom room
come with one rule.

No shoes in the
boom boom room.

So, I could wear shoes throughout
the rest of the part of this van,

but if I go a
couple feet back,

I gotta take my shoes off? Why do I
gotta take my shoes off back there?

And I can leave my shoes on, like
right here? It's the same space.

Well, it's the living room, and
then it goes to the boom boom room.

See, that don't even make
sense because it's a van.

Everything is right next to each other.
Let's go over the rest of the rules.

No, but I'm saying
that don't...

Hey, don't be
slamming my door.

Oh, I'm sorry about that. Hey,
man, you just did the same...

Now, let's go over the rules.

One. I'm the pilot.
Means I steer the ship.

Two. I'm the weatherman.
I control the heat.

Did you just say heat?
I don't know if you know.

It's the middle of summer,
so maybe you should...

Three. Don't be
questioning one and two.

Can't help it if I'm running
a little cold these days.

Four, I'm the DJ, which
means I control the music.

Whoo!

What's that? Is
that a Game Boy?

- Electronic
book? - Mmm-hmm.

You gonna see.

Oh, yeah! You hear
that? You hear that?

- That's a eight track?
- You hear that?

Come on, come on take a
ride That ain't no jive

Can't we just go
to Chocolate City?

Don't even have to drive Can
you at least turn down the heat?

Slippity-slide

My glasses are
sweating. Just sail on

That's what I do Just
sail on, that's what I do

How you dancing like that in a
jogging suit? Are you not hot?

I'm really creeped
out. Gotta get the boys.

I gotta turn up the heat
a little bit though. Yeah.

Please don't turn the heat up!

We've been listening to this song
since this morning. It is nighttime!

Oh, yeah.

- Mmm.
- Ooh! What you know about this, Drew?

I thought this was gonna
be a boring road trip.

You got the classics playing, man! What
you know about the classics, youngblood?

I know a lot, man. How did you get
Biggie Smalls on a eight track?

That's crazy, man!
Junior M.A.F.I.A.!

Junior what?

You know what I said.
You know who they are.

To all my ladies in the place With
style and grace, allow me to...

Okay. Okay. New
rule, youngblood.

None of this rappity-hippity-hop
nonsense. You understand?

What you mean
rappity-hippity-hop?

That's not what it's called. It's
called hip-hop. My car, my version.

Talking about
styling. What is that?

First of all, I can tell
you don't have style.

'Cause you always
got on jogging suits.

Talkin' from the hustler
with the fake chains.

These are real. I got
these for my birthday,

- so go about your business.
- Yeah, right. Those cost...

- Three checks! - Those cost -
fifty cent a piece. - Three checks!

My teeth cost more than that.

This is real music.
Now listen to the words.

At least as far as
I can see Oh, yeah.

Can see, I want
to keep you here

Laying next to me That's what I
tell my girls in the boom boom room.

Love between the sheets

Ooh, this is my
favorite part. Go ahead.

- My baby, ooh
- Okay. I'm sorry.

- Baby, baby, my love
- I'm sorry.

Stop sing... You're ruining
it! First off. Watch your tone.

Look, here we go. Just
listen to it. Give it a try.

Come on. You see how quick I
did that? I just pushed play.

I ain't have to take
out an Atari cartridge

- and stuff it in the radio.
- Okay, okay. Pause, pause.

How do you pause
it? Okay, youngblood.

There ain't gonna be
none of that nonsense

here in my car right now.
You gonna call this nonsense.

This is one of the greatest MCs of all
time. Yeah, what about the Isley Brothers?

I don't know too
much of their history,

- but I'll Google it later.
- What is Google?

Hey, man, is this a church?
Heck else it's gonna be?

Did we road trip all the way out
here to pick up an actual preacher?

You got a problem with that? No, I
don't have a problem with it, man.

But I thought it
was, like, a nickname,

like "Hot Sauce" or "Crazy
Legs" or "The Glove."

Amen. Amen, Amen.

We're gathered here
today to bear witness

to the anointing... Ha!

The christening... Ha!

The blessing... Ha!

Of this young rookie soul.

And it is with the
purity of heart we pray

that he will one day grow

to drive the paint... Why
is he holding him like that?

...crash the boards
of moral righteousness.

No, no, please, no. My
man Kevin Durant started

a new beginning in Golden
State. You preach, Preacher.

He's gonna dunk a
baby. One for the money

Two for the show

Three to get ready

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait! Hey! Man! What
are you doing with that baby, man?

You can't baptize a baby. You cannot
do that. - You cannot... - Hey, Dax.

- Dax, sit down.
- Drew, let me go. I got this! That is a baby, okay?

You christen a baby, right?
You hold the baby, right?

Maybe splash a little
water on his face.

He gonna cry a little
bit but no big deal.

You don't dunk a baby
in a baptismal pool.

What type of parents
are y'all to let this

really large man pick your
baby up? He did it like this.

He put your baby
behind his back.

You gonna let this man Steph
Curry your baby? That's insane!

Uh, maybe the midget's right.
Yeah. Can we have our baby back?

Is there something I
can help you with, son?

Dax. Give it a break.
- No! - Sit down!

I'm not sitting down, Drew! I'm taking
a stand. - All right. - Thank you.

All right, I warned
you. Where you from, son?

I'll tell you where I'm from. I'm from
New York City, okay? Look here, Tiny Tim.

Took me almost an hour
to fill up that pool.

Somebody's getting
baptized, you understand?

Dunk this potbelly Teletubby!

You can't talk to me like
that. Y'all wanna baptize him?

- Yeah!
- What? Bring him on up.

Dunk him like a fat donut. - Dunk him,
Preacher. - What are you doing, man?

- That my boy,
Drew. - Mmm-hmm.

Drew, you gotta make him take
one for the team. For the team!

No, no, no. Gonna have to take
one for the team. Oh, yeah.

What you mean, "Take
one for the team"?

Drew,

just like back in the
day when we used to hoop,

you could still
throw the alley-oop.

Thank you for throwing
me this lost soul.

One last run at the Rucker?

Hmm. 50th anniversary.

You know this is more
than a 50th anniversary.

This here, divine
intervention.

I wouldn't call it all that. I'm gonna
have to run it by Betty Lou though.

Run what by Betty Lou?
Drew's putting the squad

- back together.
- Yep. You forget what happened to you, Preacher,

when you get
between them lines?

No, no, no. I just ain't laced
'em up in a while, that's all.

And there is a reason
for that. Quick question.

What exactly is "a while"? I mean,
is that like a few weeks or...

30. - 35 years. Still
nice, though. - 35 years.

Wait, 35 years? Come on,
man, that's ridiculous.

Our little hobbit is
right. It's ridiculous.

It's God's work that
matters now. Not basketball.

Just because it's God's work,
don't mean it's not still work.

His work is never done. Now,
I've had about enough of this.

Book of Psalms, chapter
62, verse one and two.

Fool, please. Book of Psalms,
chapter 23, verse four.

Ephesians five,
chapter 22, boom!

Book of Betty Lou, chapter
one, verse "I said so."

You heard the
woman. I can't go.

One, it wasn't no
black hobbits, right?

And, two, that is
one mean churchwoman.

She ain't supposed to be calling me
ugly like that. Okay, and I'm handsome.

I'm the short version of Idris Elba.
The ladies say it all the time, man.

And is he even coming? - He's
coming. - How do you know?

Basketball is in his blood.
Same as it is in mine.

Both of y'all old as hell, okay?
And I at least saw you play first.

I need to see him shoot at least.
Youngblood, you can't teach seven feet.

What you mean you can't teach seven feet?
- What are you talking... - Hallelujah!

Man can only take so much
nagging before he done had enough.

I told ya. He could have
got in here without yelling

"Hallelujah" in my ear, right?

Preacher, you're supposed to take
your shoes off in the boom boom room.

You're gonna tell me the
rules of the boom boom room?

I'm just trying to make sure
we're clear, that's all. Oh, Lord.

Spoke too soon.

Why are we slowing down?
Light just turned red.

So? Run it, fool! You know
how worked up she can get.

Oh, no, I ain't trying
to get no ticket now.

Preacher! I know
you in that van!

She got a baseball
bat in a church dress?

I am Betty to the Lou. They don't
even know who they messing with.

Don't you know any players
that don't require a road trip?

And what's the deal with Betty
Lou anyway? It's just one weekend.

Is it me? Or is it nippy
in here? It ain't just you.

What is wrong with you
two? I am melting over here.

Good. Looks like you
could stand to lose a few.

Is it just me, or is little man's
head abnormally large for his body?

Hey, youngblood, how much
does your neck hate your head?

- Big head, little neck.
- Funny jokes. He was a baby bobblehead doll.

Wobble, wobble, wobble.

Actually, my head is
the most normalest size

you could think of.
I've measured my head.

Well, you sure got some
little ass ears then.

Mama deserve a purple heart,
passin' a melon that big.

Anybody else use a disco nap?

See, now that is a
good idea, Preacher.

My eyelids been heavy all day.

Seriously?

These two are
unbelievable. You good?

All set. Still a little
nippy in here though.

That's strike two, youngblood. The next
one, you gonna be riding on the roof.

Not with that big ass head, he
can't. Too much wind resistance.

Hey, Preacher, can I ask
you a question? Can I say no?

What happened to y'all back in the
day, man? Why did all y'all disappear?

Gotta ask him that.

So, Drew, what
happened in 1968?

Nothing a few Ws can't fix.

You really think basketball could fix
what happened with you and Big Fella?

Why not?

Play the game the right
way, it fixes everything.

You say so.

Come on, man. Okay, could
you get a jug or something?

You really love
basketball, don't you?

What's there not to love?

Basketball's the most
reliable thing in the world.

Don't complain, don't
ask any questions.

You bounce it,
comes right back up.

What about you,
youngblood? You ever play?

Nah, not really. Why not?

'Cause I don't. What's
that supposed to mean?

It means what I said, okay?
I just coach, all right?

- I don't believe you.
- I don't play, okay?

All right. Well, you're up. Wait a
minute, I thought you was the pilot.

I need you to co-pilot for a
spell. Address is on the dash.

Don't mess up
my car. Aw, snap!

Prostate ain't
what it used to be.

How many times you
gonna use the bathroom?

Jesus, man. Need like a
built-in toilet in his shorts.

Now, please enjoy
the latest in sports.

Let's go to Rucker Park
where our man, Scoop Jackson

is interviewing seven-time
winner, Mookie Bass.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Scoop
Jackson at the Rucker 50, Harlem, USA.

Here with my man, Mookie Bass.

- Damn, Mookie.
- So, why do you keep

doing this, man? You have
a history of just winnin'

and winnin' and winnin' this.
When is it ever gonna stop?

Hey, that's a great
question, Scoop. It's like,

"What keeps you motivated?"
You know what I mean?

And for me, it's a rivalry.

Its power is derived
from rivalry, you know?

- Seriously?
- What is your source of power?

When Thomas Jefferson sent
car keys up in the sky,

and then it got hit by lightning,
and that started the first car.

This don't even make sense.

Now, I'm no scientist,
so don't quote me on this.

Although I do have a degree
from Trump University.

But every power has a
source for that power.

So, what's your source, then?

He know who he is and
we'll just leave it at that.

Bam!

Shoutout to Pepsi. Shoutout
to Oberto. Shoutout to Aleve,

the number one painkiller in the
game right now. And there it is.

I'mma just get out of here. Rucker
50, Tournament of Champions,

all going down in three days,
here in Harlem. Three days.

I'm coming. Three days,
you going down, Dix.

Damn, there's a lot of trees.

Hey, man, you're not
kidnapping me, are you?

I'm serious. I saw
the movie Get Out.

The only reason I'm
still in this van

'cause you're a old black
man. But if you was white...

Drew, could you tell your
girlfriends to get across the street?

Something I can help
you gentlemen with?

Looking for an old friend.

First name, Wilbur,
last name, Wallace.

You mean, Lights? Check
the D&B across the street.

He likes to get his
shots up before lunch.

Yeah, that is Lights. See,
that's what I am talking about.

Somebody actually practicing.

Oh!

Yeah, that's it. - Swish!
- Oh, that was all net.

- Good job.
- Boom, baby!

Buckets. Girl, you should've
seen me back in the day.

Whoo-hoo! Well, how'd I do?

It's the highest score of the year, Lights.
That means you buying drinks, right?

That's exactly what that means.
Means she's too nice to tell

a old turkey like yourself
the truth. Wait a minute.

Drew! -
Lights. - Drew!

What's going on, man? I'm
right here, I'm right here.

What's going on? Okay, now.

How's the release? Oh, come on,
Drew. Just get me to my spot.

Once a shooter,
always a shooter.

What do you mean, "Once a
shooter, always a shooter"?

This dude shot
nothin' but bricks.

Damn, Preach. I didn't
even notice you over here.

Who else did you roll in
here with? He's right there.

Hey, man. Brother! Okay, this
is my personal space. Sorry.

Now, I got a question, because I've
been seeing a lot since I've been here.

Are you blind?
Legally or actually?

That don't even make
any... You know something?

I'mma... I'mma chill out. Drew,
can I talk to you for five seconds?

Yeah, yeah. You chill out.
Trying to find my boy, Boots.

Oh, I'm Maya. Boots
is my grandfather.

Oh. Boots. Great
to meet you, Maya.

Where's the little
shrimp, anyway?

Not good, Drew. Not good.

Grandpa.

Grandpa, you have some
friends here to see you.

Right over there.
You want to say hi?

Heads up, little
man. Yeah. O.G.

- He still got it.
- Yeah.

There he is. How you
doing, Boots? Ah, man.

Band back together, huh?

Nah, I love you, too, bro.

It's good to see you now.

Hey, little lady,
everything okay?

It's just been years
since he smiled like that,

and even longer since
he tried to stand.

Excuse me. You said this
man hasn't walked in years?

Yeah. A lot of years. Look here,
Drew. I ain't trying to break up

your bromance, brother, but, come on.
It's no time for that, youngblood.

Gotta get Boots here
packed and ready to go.

I'm sorry. Packed for
what and ready to go where?

You didn't think that we was gonna
leave here without him, did you?

Okay, look, Drew, right? -
Uncle Drew. - Uncle Drew.

Can I just talk to you for
a second over here, please?

Okay, here's the deal. I am all for
him getting a break from this place

'cause, quite frankly,
I could use one, too.

But his doctors have him on
a full psychiatric lockdown.

So, that means no trips. Just
means we gotta break him out.

No, that's illegal. Break out?
Do you even hear yourself?

You are insane! You're the
coach, ain't you? Figure it out.

Now, look, everybody.
Just like on the court,

- it's all about timing.
- Okay. And I got the plan. Here we go.

Lights, I need you to
go in, and I need you

to distract these nurses here and
here. Once that happens, Preacher,

I need you to go in
and penetrate. Right?

All the way to the psych
ward and set a back pick...

- What is a back pick?
- ...on the security guard.

But make sure you do that, a good
pick. A good forward does a good pick,

and that's what
I need you to do.

Once that happens, Drew,
you're my all-star, brother.

I need you to sneak in there,
right, and get Boots undiscreetly...

- Undiscreetly?
- ...take him to the freight elevator all the way to the roof.

You know he's in a wheelchair? Once you
get to the roof, guess who's there? Me.

Your boy. I'mma
have a rope... Rope?

What do we do with that rope? We tie
the rope securely on the wheelchair.

We will lower him down - nice
and slow... - Whoa, lower?

Until... Who is it?

You know, I don't mind you being
here, but I had to draw all this up

for you just to roll down here on
your own? Look, just get in the van.

Pure magic.

Think I don't know what
you're up to, little man?

You think you're slick, don't you? This
ain't nothing but a full-court press.

I'll just take
your rook, boom!

Hold up. Wait a
minute. Wait a minute.

Run that back, man. Run that
back. Double or nothing this time.

Double or nothing this time. So,
you sure you really wanna do this?

You know, this van
is full of old people,

and it's already smelling
like pee and Poligrip.

That is true. But I wanna see
my grandpa happy, you know?

Why do they call your grandpa Boots?
Well, it's an interesting story.

He wore the same worn out pair of kicks
every time he stepped foot on the court.

He refused to play
in anything else.

He would tell people that
they were his work boots.

You know, I think it's really
sweet what you're doing for them.

We all need something
to look forward to,

even if it is
just a pipe dream.

What do you mean, pipe dream?
Uncle Drew is the real deal.

Yeah, but you don't actually
think they could win, do you?

I mean, that's what makes it so
sweet, is that you're doing it anyway.

You're basically just setting

$5,000 on fire
to see them happy.

If you ask me,
that's pretty noble.

Exactly who I am, you
know? Dax the Noble.

We got a blind guy, a
guy who can't even walk,

and a preacher who still
keep a perm in his head.

What's wrong with this next guy?
You wanna tell him or should we?

Tell me what? Don't
even worry about it.

Oh. Sure you don't
want us to go with you?

Some songs are best sung solo.

Dibs on the van if
he actually kills you.

Hold stance.

Remember, my young grasshoppers,
without the proper focus,

you will never truly
master your mind and body.

Yes, Sifu.

It is also important
to remember,

without a good defense,
your offense means nothing.

Yes, Sifu.

Now, go in peace.
Get out of here.

Look like a scene
out of Game of Death.

All these years, and you
still ain't figured out

that the best defense is good offense,
huh? It's good to see you, Big Fella.

- Oh, my God, they're fighting. -
What happened? - Okay. - Go get him.

Drew got knocked out, man.

I got to be the getaway driver.
I brought my driving gloves.

That dude is a giant. Best
drop step in the business.

Sup, Big Fella?

That sucker punch is the
first free throw you ever made.

Putting the team
back together.

I can't do that
unless you're on board.

How about we play
one-on-one for it?

Can't always play your
way out your problems.

It's worked out pretty good so far. -
Has it though? - Okay, okay. Hey, hey.

Time out! Large
karate man, excuse me.

You look like
Wolverine's grandfather.

That's none of my
business, that's your look.

Okay, I get it. Uncle
Drew is annoying.

He's been getting on my
nerves for the last few days.

So, you don't have to do
this for him, that's cool.

But what about the rest of these cats?
One last time around the block, Big Fella.

What about Lights?
In the van with Boots.

Boots?

I'll sweeten the deal for you. You
can do whatever you want to this man.

- Wait, what?
- You can slap him,

you could karate chop him, you can
nunchuck him. Knock him out again, kick him.

Okay, you can have a step
show on his old ass body.

I don't care. But
come play with us, man.

Come on, man.

I mean, what does that mean
in kung fu? Is that a yes?

Yeah, he's coming.

Yes. We got a
giant on our team!

And I hope he can play basketball.
Hey, man, what are you doing, man?

You ain't supposed to be behind
the wheel. I'm the getaway driver.

What you mean, you the getaway
driver? Dude, we ain't rob a bank.

I got this, young fella, I got
this. Oh, come on now, Lights,

you know you're not
supposed to be driving.

Come on, man. Not
even a block or two?

No, no, you can't drive.

Is that who I think it is?

Where the hell she come from?

- What's happening? What?
- Betty Lou is happening.

- Come on. - Why are we scared? -
Who is Betty Lou? - That's my wife.

I wasn't supposed
to leave the house.

Come on, Lights. You
gotta get out the car now.

- Drew, it's stuck.
- Wait, where is Big Fella? Come on, we gotta move.

Shut up, I'm not talking to you.
Come on now, Betty Lou's coming.

- Who?
- Betty Lou's coming.

I'm gonna kill him. Lights,
don't worry about the seat belt.

- I can drive?
- Gas it before she kill us! Not a scratch, you hear me?

I got you, Drew.

- Buckle up. - Punch
it, fool! Whoo-hoo!

You're going the wrong way!
You're going in reverse!

Lights, turn, turn!

Lights! One voice, all right?

Ears can't take
all that hollering.

Incoming!

You got a old pickup to your
left. Just curl around it

like you're jumping
off to your spot.

Brace for impact!

Jesus, take the wheel.
- Pull over! - No!

You don't know who you're
messing with, hobbit!

I'm not a hobbit,
lady! I'm a man!

Hit the freeway! She
won't drive on no highway!

Spin it to win it. What?

Oh, y'all want me
to keep driving? No!

I thought I did okay myself.

Here goes nothing.

Let's go, ladies. On
the bus. On the bus.

Hey, hey, Coach. Excuse me. How you
doin', man? Dax Winslow, brother.

Are these girls
just wearing uniforms

just to be wearing them?
Or are they any good?

You're not from
around here, are you?

Two time, back-to-back
state champions.

I got $100 that say my guys

right here could destroy
these prom queens.

You got life insurance
policies on these guys, right?

Hopefully, you got their
parents' permission.

It would be impolite of
me not to take your bet.

- $100, man.
- Sold.

Look, guys, we need
to practice, okay?

What do you mean? Right now? Look, this
might be the only opportunity we get.

What about Grandpa? You know
he can't actually play, right?

Yeah, I figured the little
hobbit could take his spot.

Look here, Papa Smurf,
okay? Nobody asked you.

And, look, if we just
gotta play with four people,

then we'll do
just four-on-four.

We got one day, one damn
day, until the Rucker.

We need to be prepared.
Meet me outside, guys.

Come on, Big Fella. Let's
go, Trojans. Match up, now.

Pass the ball. I'm
open! Pass the ball!

Yeah, Preach. Oh, yeah.

Make it rain! That's
a ladies' ball.

I'm open.

Come on.

Wait a minute.

Come on, guys, come on! -
Get down. - Pass the ball.

Hurry up! Move
those old bodies!

Let me get some of that.

Wave me over. Match
up. Up top, up top.

Oh, this is bringing
back memories now!

Goddamn! Big Fella!

You mother...

Not exactly what you were
expecting, huh? No, they are garbage.

Yeah, but they're smiling.

I mean, that's gotta count for something,
right? Look at these guys. I mean,

Lights couldn't make a basket
if he had a braille trail to it.

Raindrop! Big Fella and
Uncle Drew, they're talkin'.

- You're not open to me.
- Pass the ball, Kobe. Come on, guys!

I got it. Lights out,
baby. Wait a minute.

You see? That's good basketball.
Barbeque chicken, barbeque chicken.

Lobster in the house. Big Fella!
There you go! There you go!

Better step out.

- Come on.
- Time out! See the way they move without the ball?

They're all connected as one.
Reminds me of us back in the day.

Of us? If they score one more
point, fellas, that's it.

Come on, Drew, you told
me these dudes can play.

This guy right here can't even see.
Look, I'm standing here doing this.

He don't even know I'm doing that.
Okay? And this dude, he's a karate man.

He's meditating right now.

Y'all gotta get it together.
Drew, it's on you now, man.

Stop passing the ball.

You are the lead singer,
the leader of this team.

You are Gladys Knight and
these dudes are the Pips.

It's just a scrimmage,
youngblood. That's all it is.

It's not just a
scrimmage! Okay?

Look, I bet $100 on the game. -
What? - What am I supposed to do?

Man, we don't have
no more gas left.

We're just runnin' on fumes.
What you want me to do?

Look, guys, they need to score
one more time. Just stop 'em.

You're really tall. Just put your
arms up, they're little girls.

Come on, man!

Good job, guys. Stayin'
alive, breathing. Good effort.

Great teamwork, girls. Great
teamwork. Good game, good game.

Good game, ladies.

Hey, Coach. Pleasure
doing business with you.

Yeah. Me and the fellas teamed
up to take care of that for you.

I just don't understand why you
ain't ask us for the gas money?

It's not a big deal.
Just had to tell us.

And, remember,

Gladys Knight ain't
nothing without the Pips.

Listen, Drew, I really
appreciate you guys

having my back back there, right? But
that doesn't take away from the fact

that we got our butts
kicked by some teenage girls.

Matter of fact,
maybe we should look

- to get some more players.
- Forget that, youngblood.

My roster, my team.

Mind if we talk for a minute?

I was thinking about the way we used to
run pick and roll. Might make sense if...

Fine.

Everything good
back there, Preach?

Just thinking about
my Betty Lou is all.

You'll be back in her
arms before you know it.

Yes! It may have took
us a while to get here,

but we are finally
here at the Rucker.

Some of the greatest basketball players
you've ever seen have played in this...

You mind giving us
a minute, youngblood?

Okay. Sure.

We're here, fellas.

Oh, man.

I played on damn near every outdoor
court in the country over the years,

but battling
between the lines,

with you fellas here,
always felt like home.

Feel you, Drew. I feel you.

I got each of you
a little something.

Now, I know you never
liked the way they looked,

but Doc put a lens
in there for a reason.

Take your time, now. Now, go
help him put it on. Put it on.

Why didn't y'all say anything?

Man, y'all look so... So old.

I think he can see.

And, Preach. That face!

I can see! Lights out, baby!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, yeah! Yeah, Drew.

Welcome home,
Lights. Welcome home.

I know you remember this one.

Gave it to me
when we was nine.

You told me... Told you it
would give you a strength

you didn't even
know that you had.

And it did. Now
it's your turn.

Oh, come finish this,
Preach. Come finish it.

All right, Preacher!
Aw, yeah, baby.

Boots, you ain't think I
forgot about you, did you?

Left 'em back in
the van in '68.

Figured they might still
got a little spring to 'em.

Yeah.

Just like you left 'em. Hmm?

I love you, too, bruh.

Easy now. Let's see if
they fit before you start

going and getting
all emotional on me.

No, wait. Is he...

He can't get up. He...

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, nice.

Look as good as the
first time you put 'em on.

Yeah. Yeah, Bootsie!

That's it, Boots. That's it.

Kinda like breathing. Couldn't
forget how even if you tried.

I saved the best for last.

Brick City Two-on-Two Tournament,
when we was 15 years old.

First tournament we
ever won together.

Yeah.

This ain't no apology.
Don't even try it.

Big Fella. Big Fella.

Hey, Jess. Come on, open
up, it's me. It's Dax.

Yeah, I got a team now. I
really think we got a chance.

Did it ever occur
to you to call first?

It did occur to
me to call first.

But I couldn't because
you cut my cell phone off.

That's because I broke
up with your pathetic ass.

But you know what?

My new boyfriend, he
took care of everything.

Wait, what you mean, you got a
new boyfriend? We just broke up...

Hey, what's up? What's
that facial expression?

You look like someone just took
your girl. Oh, that's right.

Oh, I think that's what
happened, though. Yeah.

Sorry we couldn't hear you knocking -
'cause we was in the shower. - Mmm-hmm.

We weren't gettin' clean,
were we? No, we weren't.

- No, we were getting dirty.
- Dirty. You so dirty.

Y'all know I'm
standing here, right?

Can I just get my uniforms and get
out of here? - Uniforms? - Uniforms.

- How come? - I got a team.
- You got a team? - Yes.

- Aw, that's cute,
bruh. - Mmm-hmm.

- That's real cute.
- Here ya go.

Good luck. Hey, will
you cook me breakfast?

Mmm, I'll make you an omelet,
boo. Oh, I'mma scramble your eggs.

Welcome, ladies and
gentlemen, boys and girls,

to the Rucker 50th
Tournament of Champions.

I am yours truly, Duke Tango.

Today we bring you
the best of the best

of the Rucker
crowd and $100,000.

That's right, $100,000,

and it's all here
in Harlem, US of A!

This is where it happens. This
will make you, this will break you.

Here we go! Game one.

Hilltop Mavericks versus
Homecourt Advantage.

Let's do this! Let's
do this! Oh, yeah!

It's one of those days when
the crowd is a little thin.

Now, is it me or
is it empty in here?

Nah, Preach, it ain't you.

We used to ball out in front
of twice as many people.

Youngblood, I don't know about this name.
Bruh, I'm straight from Chocolate City.

Yeah, I think, guys, it's
more about where we are now...

Stop! Look, it's
not about the name.

We don't have a
fifth player, guys.

If we don't get nobody else, we gotta
forfeit. We need Big Fella. Where is he at?

He'll be here. Yeah,
but what if he's not?

I'm pretty sure those
basketball shoes.

Although, your calf-to-shoe
ratio is not all that great.

Yeah, and his body's really
bad. It's not built for jumping.

Okay. Okay. Let me tell y'all
something... I don't play basketball.

And, yes, my calves
don't match my body.

I done had these calves
since I was seven.

Went to a doctor, saw
somebody, and he was, like,

"Hey, man, we don't know
what we can do about it."

Yes! He is here.

The Black Messiah.
Grandfather. Okay.

- Don't. He is here...
- He's here. Everybody get on the court.

Let's go.

What are you doing? Move!
Something you wanna say to me?

We're in the middle of a game!
Can we get some help out here?

I don't know what's going on

at the half court position, but it
ain't helping 'em. Are they fighting?

I'm not running down until you say
it. - Say what? - You know what.

I'm not talking about her.
Hey, hey, hey, timeout.

Yo, yo, yo! Hey, hey. Come here,
bring it in. What are you two doing?

I ain't run out on my old lady just so
we can come out here and play like this.

I'm out. Hey, nah, you're
not going nowhere, Drew.

You will stay right here. And I
don't know what you two are doing.

You said you wanna teach the kids
how to play the game the right way.

But this is not the right way,
arguin' with your teammate.

Let's play some
basketball! We are a team.

Bring it in, guys. Come on.

Whatever y'all got going on,
work it out after the game.

Bring it in. Harlem
Money on three.

- One...
- Let's go get this money, man. Come on.

Well, just play.
Back to live action,

here we go! This is
Boots with the ball.

Over to my man, Uncle.
Uncle Drew, yes! Uncle Drew!

This is The Mosquito
with the handle.

Oh, no, no, no!
Steal away for Uncle!

Look at the handle.

75 years old and
still can't admit it.

Selfish son of a bitch.

Uncle Drew doing
it once again.

It's the third period, baby.
The Uncle Drew Show continues.

Harlem Money is running
away with this one.

Another basket and they will
be going to the next round.

How come you just can't admit you
messed up? We hardly even knew her.

Matter of fact, I bet you can't
even remember her dang name.

You don't remember
her dang name?

I married her, punk.

Come on, baby. Come on. You
really wanna make this right?

Stop running from the truth.

Can't believe you ended
up marrying her anyway.

Can't believe you slept with
her the night before the finals.

I loved her.

I don't know if you knew
this, but... Yeah, I knew.

I always knew.

Spent five decades
pretending like I didn't.

But I saw the way you looked at
her when she walked in the park.

So, why'd you do it, then?

I loved her, too.

Look, Big Fella, I'm sorry.

I've been sorry
my whole damn life.

You mean that? I mean that
with everything I got.

If I can go back and
change it, I would.

Believe me.

I need you to
feed me. Excuse me?

You may not understand this, but,
uh, I can really shoot the ball.

Let the Big Fella eat, huh?
Like The Last Supper, baby.

Oh, too slow, too slow. Hey, that
ain't no figment of my imagination.

Somebody 'bout to
eat their words.

That's Drew there.
Hey, Drew, hey!

Look at that face! Go ahead, scratch
and smell him. Scratch and smell him.

- You real.
- Yeah.

He real. He real man.
This ain't no hologram.

Been a minute, Angelo. What's
goin' on? Oh, been a minute.

Good to see you, Drew.
Always good to see you.

What you gonna do with all
that money when you win?

- Come again?
- The purse. The purse, Drew.

The hundred stacks of high society
at stake. You know, the duckets.

Wasn't ever no purse
back in the day.

No, it wasn't ever
nothin' like that.

But $100,000 of cash, baby.

I'd sign up, you
know what I'm saying?

You think I'm stupid, youngblood?
Hundred grand is a whole lot of money.

Look, man, I was gonna talk to
you about... Yeah, when? When?

You just don't get it, do
you, youngblood? This game...

The love I got for it,
it's all sacred to me.

You told me that you love the
game. You don't love the game.

You use it just like you use
everything else in your life.

You ain't nothing
but a hustler.

Hey, man, who you
talking to, man?

Hey! Talkin' to you, man.
Watch your tone, youngblood.

You don't think I got
love for this game?

Don't nobody love
this game more than me.

Talkin' about Jordan, 63
against Boston. I saw that.

Laettner's turnaround against
Kentucky. Bird steals the ball to win

the Eastern Conference
Finals to beat the Pistons.

I saw all of that
and I loved it.

But guess what, the
game never loved me back.

So, then what happened then?

I missed a shot.

I shot it, it got blocked.

I was humiliated.
Everybody walked out on me.

Now, that's the first real
thing you've done said.

That's the real Dax.

Now, come on, let's
go play this game.

It's about the love,
youngblood, nothin' else.

- Yes!
- Get it, Grandpa!

This Big Fella. This
is the Big Fella.

Ooh! Ah, shit, I'm loose.

Uncle looking at it.
What he gonna do with it?

- The Preacher!
- Oh, in the name of Jesus!

Finally gettin' my
legs back, y'all.

This is Uncle Drew to Lights.

- Money!
- All right, Lights! The reason they call me Lights.

Yeah!

Don't bring your
little ass in here.

- And that's it?
- That's right.

You swipe right if you
like 'em, left if you don't.

You couldn't even see the day
before yesterday. Mmm-hmm. Exactly.

That's why I'm always swipin'
right. It's more of a numbers game.

Looks a little different
these days, don't it?

She gonna get him pregnant
if she keep dancing like that.

If I wasn't so sore, we'd get out
there and show 'em our old routine.

Excuse me, son,
do we amuse you?

Yo, you're in the club,
and you're pushin' 80, bro.

And what's up with your
boy, Frederick Douglass? Hey!

Heard he was
doing great things.

Hold my beer. Grandpa!

Don't hurt nobody, pop.

Ah, yeah! Gonna get real
grody up in this joint now!

Oh, my God!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

You know somethin', man? I
did not think your grandfather

would ever get up out that wheelchair.
Me neither. I heard stories,

but I never knew he could play like
that. So how much your parents paying you

to watch your grandfather? Why
does anybody have to be paying me?

Why can't I just enjoy
spending time with my family?

Well, I wouldn't know anything about
that. 'Cause I never had one. So...

What do you mean you never really
had one? What do you call those guys?

I honestly had a lot
of fun tonight. Me too.

Well, I guess it's time to go.

Yeah, we should go ahead
and get up out of...

He ain't gonna do it.

Hey. - Hey.
- It's you!

No! Mmm-mmm. - You
open! - Take a shot!

Sorry. I'mma go.
I need some water.

- Sure.
- 'Cause my throat is dry.

Yeah, I know how that is.
I'll take care of this.

Take a gap? Thank you, appreciate
that. Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it.

Anybody give him some training
on how to talk to a lady?

Okay, look, man, I
don't wanna hear that.

Anything, okay? Not one
single freakin' word.

Maybe she should've
taken her heels off.

I'll tell ya, youngblood,
last time I checked,

you miss 100% of the
shots you don't take.

Yeah, let's get
out of here, man.

Let's give him a piggyback.
Big Fella, what are you doing?

We'll give him a
little piggyback.

That's right. Two down,
two to go. We almost there.

Yo, how's that geriatric
team of yours, bro?

You get 'em all individual
Life Alert bracelets?

Hey, man, are you
wearing my clothes? What?

Yes, that's my shirt.
You got on my shirt, man.

That's right, I
got on your shirt.

Or maybe you got my shirt on.

- What? Wait, wait. - What? Wait, wait.
- That's my shirt. - That's my shirt.

- You got on my clothes.
- You got on my clothes.

- Stop it! You're crazy.
- Stop it! You're crazy.

That's right. I'm
crazy. I'm being you.

The only way to defeat one's
enemy is to become one's enemy.

- You're nuts!
- You're nuts!

- You're psycho!
- You're psycho!

I'll see you in the
finals, Dax. Psycho.

All day.

Yes! There you go, Big Fella! That's
what I'm talking about, Big Fella!

Off shot! Handled it. -
Good rebound! - All right.

Oh, shot, shot, shot.
Get that out of here!

- What do I do, what do I do?
- Just back up.

Oh, yeah. I
remember this play.

Too late. Got 'em.

Yes! That's what I'm talkin'
about, Lights. You are the man!

This is Boots. Boots
goin' down death valley!

Uh-huh! Baby!

Harlem Money is
going to the finals,

with only seconds
left in the ballgame!

- Still hungry, huh?
- Just a little dessert.

Hey, take the three,
Big Fella, why not?

This is to send 'em.
They're already there.

That's all right, Big Fella.

Big Fella. Big Fella.
Big Fella. Big Fella.

Somebody get a
doctor. Come on!

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Let
me in here. The Big Fella is down.

Stay here, Big Fella. Stay in
it. - Beginning CPR. - Oh, Lord,

give him some room,
give him some room.

You're okay, boss.

Come on, Big Fella.
Come on, Big Fella.

Doctor already said he's
been through the worst of it.

So, what... What do we do now?

You don't stop playing
'cause you get old.

You get old 'cause
you stop playing.

Preacher!

Hi. And I'm so sorry

about the Big Fella.
Is he gonna be okay?

But I've been missing you so
much. Come here, come here.

I missed you too,
baby. Now, look.

If you don't want me to go
ball, I don't have to ball.

Fool, please, after all
this? You're playing.

Matter of fact...

You saying what I
think you're saying?

I'm saying what you think I'm
saying, Preacher. So we gonna ball?

So we gonna ball.

That's what I'm
talkin' about, boo.

Welcome! This is what
we've all been waiting for.

The new be versus the old.

The old be versus the new.
The good be versus the bad.

Are they gonna be a no-show
like they did in 1968?

But, no, they're not.

Here they come! They're
here! Here they come, baby!

Here they come! Aw, yeah!
We got a game on our hands!

Okay, Grandpa, you gotta take
your pills before you start, okay?

Preacher, we gotta
take our pills.

Not the blue ones.
Save those for tonight.

It's all right.
What we gonna do?

- We gonna get this win.
- We gonna get this win, right?

Look, this one's for Big Fella, okay?
So, Big Fella on three. One, two, three.

Big Fella! Here we go,
C-Dawg! Let's do this, baby.

You got this, Drew. You the man, bruh.
You put this team together, remember that.

Your roster, my team.

That's right, your team.
Last week, I took your team.

Yesterday, I took your girl.

Today, I'm gonna take
your heart. Man, you've...

Okay. - Stop
it! - Stop what?

- Folding your arms like me.
- Folding your arms like that.

Let's get this win, baby.
Good luck, youngblood.

Oh, luck ain't got nothing to do
with it, Old Dusty. "Old Dusty"?

Pastor Wrinkles,
what's the word, man?

Young fella got jokes.

- Shoe ain't tied. - What shoe?
Huh? - Lights! - Championship time!

Oh, that's the oldest trick in the book!
You gonna let him... Oh, come on, now!

Over to Uncle.
Jumper. In and out.

That's okay, guys!

The bounce pass to
Casper. Casper, oh, my God!

Oh, yeah, I need
you to see me.

Wipe your goggles, old
fella. I need you to see me.

- You gotta see me all night.
- Man, move. Fool, please.

- That's right, Casper!
- Come on, Drew! This is Uncle.

Cross the mid-court
line. Betty...

Lights out! No good! Oh, man!

That's right, old
people are overrated!

Over to Casper
the Friendly Ghost.

Nothin' but the bottom of
the net. Wake up! Come on!

Up! Up! Up!

- You gotta love it!
- Yes! Mario, comin' back down court,

kickin' it over to
Beazy! We makin' baskets!

That's right, we
makin' buckets, baby.

Uncle Drew the other
way. This is Betty!

Betty Lou jumper no good.

They fightin' for it,
baby! They fightin' for it!

Betty Lou wins it!
Get it, Betty Lou!

There you go, Betty Lou. There you
go! You know that's really a man.

I got Drew. Slow it
down. Slow it down.

They tired, yo. They tired.
The fatigue's settin' in.

- Betty Lou. Switch it!
- Fatigue's settin' in.

You can hear their
knee caps grinding.

Uncle, Betty Lou.

Downtown! You gonna let
a girl score on you?

This is Casper
the Friendly Ghost.

Oh, my God!

Oh, that's right.
That's right, baby.

- Oh!
- Oh...

Turnaround, once again.

The friendly one.
What a goal! Oh, baby!

Somebody get on
Casper, come on, man!

Casper!

Damn, man! Homecourt
Advantage is running away

with the first half.

My TV ain't working.

Do I look like an electrician?

I know, right? Oh, yeah,
that was him. Brian.

Y'all got a TV?

Just judgin'. Me and her,
we're talkin' about Rachel.

Where you from?
What's your name?

I'm Kathy from Staten
Island. How you doin'?

Thank you. How you doin'? Oh,
wait. Come on. You're my victim.

I mean... I mean, my patient.

That's my team right there. I used to
play on that team. Okay, guys, bring it in.

Let's turn this game around. So, on
three, Big Fella. One, two, three.

- Big Fella!
- Let's go, guys.

Harlem Buckets down by 16
at the start of the third.

Here we go!

Casper, the Friendly
Ghost from downtown!

Get in front of your man.

Boots with the
ball. Lookin' at it.

Boots makin' his move.
To Lights from downtown.

Not this time.

Reynolds Wrap to Casper.

Not today. Give me that.
Please, not in my house.

- Come on, now. That's a foul!
- That's what

- I'm talkin' about.
- You know that's a foul.

Where I'm from, it's
no blood, no foul.

- Where you from?
- I just came from Hell,

whooping the Devil's ass,
that's where I'm from.

- Break it up.
- That's not godly. They gangbangin' for Jesus.

Back to live
action! Here we go!

Deflected! Goin'
the other way!

Good block. Come on,
y'all, let's get it.

Uncle, look at him! Off
the backboard to Preacher!

Damn, man! Get the ball, let's go!
My backboard, my house, sucker.

That's what I'm talkin'
about! Put it home, Preach!

That what I'm talking about!

This is Casper with it.
Kicks it over to Mario.

Jump shot. No good!

Yes! That's right,
y'all, we got this.

He kicks it over,
right side to Betty Lou!

Oh, my!

- Oh, my!
- Yeah! Yes!

Uncle to the rescue!
Get on that old man!

Harlem Buckets are
trying to come back.

This is Casper with it.
Casper, looking at it.

Come on, now!

I got this.
B-B-B-B-B-B-Boots with it.

Booty through the defender's
legs. Look at Boots.

Yes! Way to finish,
man. I can't believe it.

They're trying to
make a comeback.

Reynolds Wrap to
Casper. For 30!

It's shut down time.

Now shoot, Betty Lou. Get 'em.

Over to Betty Lou! Good!

Get your head out your ass. I knew
I married you for a reason, girl.

Game recognize
game, big daddy.

Here we go. This is
Uncle Drew with the ball.

It's him and you, you and
him. What you gonna do?

What you gonna do?

Drew steps back.
Left-handed jumper...

What'd I tell you? What'd I
tell you? Harlem Buckets, baby.

Kicks it out over. Oh, I got this.
My board, my board. Let's go.

Are you kidding me? Here
he go. Light the light.

- Bang!
- Lights out, baby. That makes it a two point lead.

Here we go! The fast break!
There we go, there we go!

- Whoa.
- I got ya now! That's what I'm talking about, Lights!

- Get that outta here!
- That's a foul! Come on now!

- Lights?
- You see that defense? You all right, Lights? Get up, man. Get up.

Lights. Lights,
where does it hurt?

- Ankle.
- Okay, okay. Sit up.

Yo, that's bush league,
Winslow. You took out my player.

Man, what are
you talking about?

Your boy, James Unworthy,
just knocked my boy out.

Cheatin'-ass cheaters.
Y'all need to cheat to cheat.

It's gonna be all right,
it's gonna be all right.

I'm getting too old for this.
What are we gonna do, bruh?

Lights is out. What we gonna do? - What
you mean? - What you mean, "What I mean"?

We have no more players left.
It's your moment, ain't it?

No. I've already told
you a million times.

I'm not playing, okay? Plus, I
ain't played in decades, bruh.

And they have? Drew,
it's different, okay?

They were actually
good when they played.

Listen to me, youngblood.

You think you're the only one

that made that mistake
that defined their life.

I've been on the road my whole
life. I got no real friends.

I'm bouncin' city to city.
And you wanna know why?

Because I got too much pride to say
I'm sorry. You know how that sounds?

Have too much pride to say you're
sorry to the people that love you?

Don't you dare be like that,
youngblood. You be better than that.

This is the moment. You
gonna run away from it,

or you gonna step up and
take it? Choice is yours.

That's right,
bruh. Championships.

This is destiny now.

I'll play under one
condition. And what's that?

Let me guard the
white boy. Let's roll!

It's a minute and nine
second left, folks.

Excuse me. Timeout, timeout.

- Timeout, timeout!
- Who are you? I'm the assistant coach.

I'm here to make sure that
he's tall enough to ride

the ride that my man
about to put him on.

What are you doing, man? This should
be a technical foul or something.

I'mma kick you off this court
like I kicked you out my house.

- That's right.
- That's mean, okay? Excuse me? I don't know

who you are or
what this is about,

but could you please
take it back to the stands

- so we can play some ball?
- Who are you?

If you keep talking, you're gonna find
out. Oh, you about to find out, honey.

I come from a long line of choir
members. So, we gonna clap back!

- Yeah, that's right.
- I bet you do.

Just clap you up out of
here. Don't play with me.

- I will not!
- I love you, baby. I love you, too.

We believe in you guys. Be aggressive.
- All right. - What am I doing now?

Brought your girl, playin' mind games.
Ain't nobody scared of you, man.

Oh, ain't nobody scared of me?

- Let's do this, man.
- What's Dax doing in the game?

I got your back. I got your back.
- Trail, Dax, trail. - All right.

Yo help Uncle Drew.
No, move. Come on.

It's him and you,
baby. What you gonna do?

Let's go, baby. Let's
ball, baby. Vanilla Sky!

Oh, it's a four point lead now. Come
on, youngblood. That's too easy.

Look, it won't happen
next time, okay?

Uncle gently across
the mid-court line,

with seconds left. He's gotta
foul whoever may be guardin' him.

Uncle to Preacher.

It's the Preacher, man.
Oh, baby, hallelujah!

Praise the Lord, Preacher,
praise the Lord. Here we go now.

Harlem Money in desperate
need of a turnover.

If not, Homecourt Advantage
can walk away and win it all.

Here we go. What that white
boy doing with that ball?

Oh, he's doing his
shaky-shake. That's right.

Good steal, Dax, good
steal. Go on, Dax, shoot it!

Let it fly, Dax! Shoot
it, shoot it! Put it up.

- Come on, Dax! Shoot it!
- Take that shot, bro! Timeout.

Timeout? You gonna make me
have another heart attack, boy.

Hey, he fouled me on that.
You're saying he didn't foul me?

That was a reach, ref.

Let's go. Okay, relax.
Listen, I got this.

Drew, they can't
guard you, man.

All we need you to do is just penetrate
to the bucket, do what you've been doing,

the defense will
collapse on you.

Once they do that, you
kick it out to Betty Lou.

Betty Lou will take
the three. That's it.

Game over. Game
plan. That's it.

What? Seriously, what's
wrong with that play?

You'll make it. Excuse me?

Drew's right. They're not even guarding
you. It's a reason for that, Lights.

Leave the past in
the past, move on.

You got this, Dax. We don't need
you to be great all the time.

We need you to be
great this one time.

Can you do that?
We believe in you.

What if I miss?
What if you don't?

You got this.

Come on now. Let's
go. Let's bring it in.

We in this together.

You got this. Buckets on
three. One, two, three.

Buckets! Preach,
Preach, Preach.

In case something happens,
we got no more timeouts, okay?

You sure? Yeah, I'm sure.
We used our last one.

I could have swore
we had one more.

This is it. This is for
the money in the bank.

This is for all the marbles.
Come on, come on, Dax.

Buckets, down by
two, a three can win.

Eight seconds left
in the ball game.

This is Uncle with it.
Uncle, looking at it.

Uncle over to Hobbit.

Yes, we won the Rucker,
baby! We won the Rucker.

That's what I'm talkin' about,
baby! We did this, man! We did that!

You the man!
Mookie! Hey, Mookie!

Good game, man.
Good game, bro.

I see what you're doing now.
Playing mind games with me.

Okay. I'll see you next year,
bruh. The cycle continues.

Fellas, we did that,
y'all. Pick him up!

Pick me up? Hey! No, no,
no. He's way too heavy, boy.

His head too big. Head weigh
about a hundred pounds.

I'll be back, y'all.

Hey. Hey.

Oh. This is nice.

- I'll be back.
- Okay.

There ya go. That's what I'm
talking about, young fella.

The hero, Dax.

Man, I'm damn proud of you.

You took that last shot.

You miss a hundred percent
of the shots you don't take.

Game ball goes to you.

Your team. Your roster.

Nah. My family.

Big Fella, man, I'm really
happy that you're okay, man.

And if anything...

We were all really...

Okay, look, I paid the bill.

Thanks. I had to pay
the bill. You know why?

That's what you do for
family. Shh! You still talking?

Hey, check it out,
we're on SportsCenter.

Everyone was clowning
him, including us.

Well, you're
number one tonight

in the right top ten
for this right here.

Dax Winslow, all
three of these,

and the Harlem Buckets
win the Rucker 50.

I'm still baffled by a
lot of this guy's story.

I don't understand a lot,
frankly, but I know this much.

He went from a
punchline to a hero,

getting carried off on his
teammates' shoulders in Rucker.

Way to go, Dax.

Yo, yo, yo, here's the coach
of the year. Dax is here, baby.

I be the Rucker champ. Just
leave a message, you know,

when I give you the chance.

Hey, Dax, it's, uh, me, Jess.

When you get a chance,
give me a call back.

Hey, Dax, it's me again.
Your phone must be dead,

'cause it went right to voicemail. Do
you remember when I made that investment

in them shoes? Do you remember that?
You remember that? Do you remember that?

Do you remember that?
Do you remember that?

I wanted to let you know that I went
ahead and kicked Mook to the curb.

Uh, I noticed the phone went
straight to voicemail again.

Do you remember that? Hey.
Dax, do you remember that?

I am affiliated with several
gangsters. I will find out where you at.

We gonna come
over to your house.

I let you stay in my house
rent-free for all that time.

I hate you, Dax. But
I love you so much.

I don't know why you're
doing me like this.

You know what?
(BLEEP) you, Dax!

Gotta make sure I get the behind
the scene, behind the scene.

Yeah. I appreciate you guys
following me to makeup.

But now, you gots to go.

Wow!

Kyrie's under here somewhere.

Uh-huh. No.

Hey, girl. Lights
just called me.

Preacher, you put your Bible
in the club and can't find it?

Hold up. Wait a
minute. Hold on.

I can't play in that tourney and let that
little white boy block my shot again.

Give me a pudding even though
it's gonna give me diarrhea.

Hey, I don't mean to
grab your face. I'm sorry.

Hold up, hold up. Run
it back, run it back.

Don't you wanna go with a coach
who straight up looks like Urkel

got put in a trash compactor?

Isn't that what you want?

Wait a minute. Run that
back. Just run it back.

Don't you wanna be coached by
a dude who looks like an M&M?

Double or nothin' this time. Double
or nothin', double or nothin'.

Hey, man, you don't blow
no whistle in my gym.

Okay, that's... Okay... Stop!

Or little hobbit here
could take his spot.

Who you callin' a hobbit,
Uncle Ben? Uncle Ben?

You heard what I
said. Get me some rice.

No, no, no...

Youngblood, I can't take this
rappity-hippity-hop nonsense.

You say "hippity-hoppity." That's
something rabbits would make.

If rabbits made music, it would
be called hippity-hoppity.

You know how old this van is? Older
than you. I assume it is, brother.

Lots gone down in here.

Somethin' went down
here, stained that seat.

Feel good about that.

Got a microwave in here,
you got carpet everywhere.

Ain't no tellin' what old
women you'd have back there.

Probably had your momma back
there. - You ever say... - Ooh!

I'm an orphan, for your information.
So I don't know who my momma is.

This is what we call
a ditty now. Ooh.

My lady... That
ditty just crazy. Mmm!

I got it. This is
the real version.

We not goin' be disrespecting
a classic like that.

That came out before you was... -
You have to drive. - Oh, I forgot.

Get out of here. Go!

Courses. I've come a
long way since Kazaam.

That is sick!

I found him in a grocery store
putting cans on the top shelves.

That's all he's good for.

I'm sorry.

You are my Beyonce, okay?

Not Dantay, not White
Dantay, not Jeff,

and not the dude who look
like he sang with New Addition.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Rapid fire. I
gotta go rapid fire.

Here we go. Watch this
right here. Ow! Ow!

What is this, man? That
look like a dead inch worm.

Who you trying to
be? Morgan Freeman?

You played a heck of a game today,
sir. Appreciate you saying that, Coach.

You ever think about
re-taking those SATs?

You have four years left
of eligibility, right?

I'm more of a Blue
Devil man myself, Coach.

Come on, Dax!

Oh, too late, Drew. Too late.

Your old-ass legs
broke up on you, Drew.

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