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*THE GRAND TOUR*
Season 03 Episode 04
Episode Title: "Pick Up, Put Downs"
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00:00:58,774 --> 00:01:00,335
Thank you.
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00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,196
Hello, everybody!
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00:01:04,307 --> 00:01:05,804
Thank you so much.
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00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,468
Thank you.
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00:01:11,914 --> 00:01:14,469
- Hello.
- Thank you very much.
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00:01:14,555 --> 00:01:16,144
Thank you. Welcome.
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00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:19,312
Now, coming up
in today's show...
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James wears glasses...
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I pretend to be a dog...
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and a terrorist eats
a savoury snack.
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Got everything there.
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00:01:36,022 --> 00:01:38,217
Thank you. Now...
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throughout
the developing world,
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00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,235
people have, for many years,
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used Japanese-made
pick-up trucks.
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Yes, but now
European car makers
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have decided they want
a piece of the action.
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So they've come up with
pick-up trucks of their own.
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00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,955
Yes, they have, and to
find out if they're any good,
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this week we take
The Grand Tour
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on a journey
through history.
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00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,235
Mm, we begin
in the Middle Ages,
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00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,235
which meant going to
Richard Hammond's garden.
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00:02:25,060 --> 00:02:29,195
In parts of the globe where
there's no mains water or electricity,
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00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,421
a pick-up truck has to be
more than
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00:02:31,507 --> 00:02:35,235
just transport for
plague victims and livestock.
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00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:39,995
That's why James has turned
his Mercedes X-Class
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00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:43,515
into a power station
using its rear axle
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00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,935
to make electricity
for the village.
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00:02:48,860 --> 00:02:52,835
Richard, meanwhile, was using
his Ford Ranger as a tractor,
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00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,375
pulling a plough.
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00:02:56,740 --> 00:03:00,155
Yep, I'm actually ploughing
with my pick-up.
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00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,575
I don't think I could be
any happier.
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00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:09,315
And I was using
this Volkswagen Amarok
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as an irrigation system.
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I'm using it to drive a pump,
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00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:17,435
which will deliver
nourishment from the well
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00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,275
to the community allotment.
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00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,875
In fact... Yep, I can hear
the water coming now,
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00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:27,735
above the smooth turbocharged
throb of my V6 diesel.
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00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:37,260
Ah! Ooh!
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Sort it out!
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Get it!
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- Hammond!
- What?
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00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:51,275
We've gotta get...
How do you get that back?
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I don't know.
You set it free.
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00:03:53,740 --> 00:03:55,155
- Whoa!
- Watch out!
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00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,415
You've made it angry!
Run away!
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Ow!
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00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:11,955
Oh! You... Aargh!
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00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,620
Clarkson!
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Turn the car off!
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00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:24,595
- What was that?
- I cut my...
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00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,615
- Oh, dear.
- And there.
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00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,615
And there.
And I've done my neck in.
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00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,715
This is supposed to be
a demonstration
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00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,575
of the utility
of pick-up trucks.
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00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:34,640
We've done it. We've proved
all three of them...
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00:04:34,726 --> 00:04:37,595
Yeah, no, I have. I've sawn
three pieces of wood for a fence.
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00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,135
Hammond's ploughed four
furrows for growing things in.
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00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:43,335
You have only subtracted
from this community.
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00:04:43,420 --> 00:04:44,855
You've taken away
the vegetables.
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00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:46,330
You've taken away
the electricity.
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00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:47,855
You've taken away
the lighting.
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00:04:47,940 --> 00:04:49,822
You've taken away the ability
to make the new fence posts.
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00:04:49,908 --> 00:04:51,834
- I have proved...
- And you've taken away the food.
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00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,995
But my engine is very powerful.
More powerful than in your two.
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00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,895
Yeah,
but what's the use of that?
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00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:58,815
- Speed and power.
- It's not speed and power.
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00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:00,884
Yeah, well it is, look.
Look what it did!
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00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:02,226
Look what it did.
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00:05:02,312 --> 00:05:04,773
Yours couldn't have delivered
that much water that quickly.
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00:05:04,859 --> 00:05:07,046
Yeah, thankfully, because it
wouldn't have done that.
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00:05:07,154 --> 00:05:09,296
- I think you've slightly missed the point.
- Why...
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00:05:09,382 --> 00:05:13,055
Why do you always
have to overdo everything?
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00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:15,015
- You can shut up.
- Why?
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00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:18,035
Because it's supposed to be a
test of European pick-up trucks.
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00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,455
It's European.
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00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:21,415
Well, yes,
apart from the fact
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that it was designed in Australia
and it's built in South Africa.
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00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,135
What about the engine?
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00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:28,895
- That's made in Turkey.
- That's European.
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00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,295
Well, a bit of it is.
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00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:32,915
Let's not get bogged down
with where Turkey is.
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00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,675
What we've done is proved
that all three of them
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00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:37,895
work well when there is peace
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00:05:37,980 --> 00:05:39,955
in the village
in the developing world.
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00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,735
What we must do now is
find out how well they work
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00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:47,295
when the peace comes to an
end and there's a revolution.
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00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:01,195
When the revolution
is over,
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00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:07,175
it's important that all traces of the
vile, hated dictator are eradicated.
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00:06:07,260 --> 00:06:09,035
And that's why I'm
attaching my Mercedes
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00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:12,175
to this giant statue
of Kim Jong Clarkson,
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00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:13,875
to see if I can pull it over.
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00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:22,435
Right, here are the rules.
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00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,675
I have to do this using
the lowest revs possible.
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00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:29,895
So what I'm gonna do is put it
in four-wheel drive low range -
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00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:32,075
something Jeremy Clarkson
can't do -
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00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:36,495
first gear manual and turn
the traction control off.
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00:06:36,580 --> 00:06:39,135
You know that isn't really
a Mercedes, don't you?
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00:06:39,220 --> 00:06:41,595
It's just a Nissan with
"Mercedes" written on it.
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00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,715
It's got a Nissan engine.
Yeah.
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00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:48,195
And that's his problem. Cos it's
only a 2.3, four-cylinder diesel.
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00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:52,015
Right. Taking up the slack.
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00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:55,255
When you have to use power
and torque to do a job...
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00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:56,955
James is the first man
you go for.
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00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,415
Here we go.
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00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:04,435
Traction control,
diff lock, down you come.
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00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:15,535
Oh, ooh! Oh, hello.
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00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:19,935
Yeah!
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00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:28,415
He's gone!
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00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:31,655
That was just...
Oh, right on your... Dunk!
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00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:32,818
What a feeling.
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00:07:32,904 --> 00:07:34,739
Oh, bet that... Did that...
That was just...
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00:07:34,825 --> 00:07:36,655
- That is in the face.
- Yes.
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00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:38,495
By the whole Earth.
Boof, in the face.
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00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:39,884
Did you see
what happened to your nose?
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00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:40,755
- Look at it.
- Yes.
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00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:44,195
And now, it's your turn.
Because...
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00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,135
Yeah, May Tse-tung.
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00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:53,695
Right, it's time for your
reign of terror to end.
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00:07:53,780 --> 00:07:55,875
He may be the most stubborn
man in the world,
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00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,935
but he's no match for the
engine in this Ford Ranger.
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00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:03,635
I have, of course, more power
in this than in his Nissan -
126
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:08,015
197 brake to his 188 -
and more torque.
127
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:11,255
This engine is strong. Strong
enough to pull a train, literally.
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00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:12,775
Because they are
actually using
129
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,355
the five-cylinder diesel
out of this
130
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,955
in the new Vivarail 230
commuter class train.
131
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:22,055
You know he's got
one more cylinder than you?
132
00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:24,675
Yeah, that's cos that engine
came from a Turkish bazaar.
133
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,875
"Just for you, my friend,
special price.
134
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,235
One extra cylinder,
today only."
135
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:30,815
Minimal revs,
136
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:34,375
one and half thousand,
maybe, upping it a bit.
137
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:39,015
Ooh, hang on.
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00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:44,095
Come on, May.
139
00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:49,535
He's failing.
He's failing to topple me.
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00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:52,655
Come on, you can pull
an old spaniel off a pillar.
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00:08:58,140 --> 00:08:59,355
Oh, no.
142
00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:05,335
All right.
143
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,915
He's dragging you.
He's taking you for a scrape.
144
00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:14,895
That's not on, really.
145
00:09:19,220 --> 00:09:20,835
Nice one, Hammond!
146
00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:27,675
The scores so far,
then, looked like this.
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00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,715
James had used 2,100 rpm
to topple me...
148
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,075
whereas Hammond -
despite his bigger engine -
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00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:40,835
had had to use 3,600 rpm
to bring down May.
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00:09:42,420 --> 00:09:44,595
Now it's time for me to win
as I get rid
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00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:50,255
of the last of the country's
hated dictators... Dick Pot.
152
00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:02,655
And there we are.
153
00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:04,895
Oh, now, come on!
154
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,655
Well, you shouldn't
have built a life-size one.
155
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,715
- You are a man of modest statue.
- Yeah, fine.
156
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,335
It reflects my ego
compared to yours.
157
00:10:12,420 --> 00:10:15,115
Well, it's, you know, proportional
to the size of the tyranny.
158
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,015
I don't think I'm gonna need
low range.
159
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,915
- You haven't got it.
- Well, I know, exactly, I don't need it.
160
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,215
Lock the rear diff.
There you go.
161
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:25,115
- You'll need that.
- Right, here we go. Ready?
162
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,235
- Mm-hm.
- Yes.
163
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,775
Taking up the slack.
164
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:32,015
There might be a really
bad jolt, so be careful.
165
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:37,575
I've won another test!
166
00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:39,215
I've won both of them.
167
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:42,475
- How have you worked that out?
- Well, 600 rpm, OK?
168
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,715
And I did the best
in the village.
169
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,535
You destroyed the village!
170
00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,355
Listen, let's not get
bogged down with that.
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00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,115
We must now move on
to what typically happens
172
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,655
in a country
after the dictator is gone.
173
00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:05,115
With the government
in disarray,
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00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,315
we had to load
all our worldly goods
175
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:12,175
into our pick-up trucks and
prepare to run for our lives.
176
00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:16,215
It's no time to be alphabet-i-sising
your record collection.
177
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,775
I'm not, I'm just making sure that The Yes
Album, my most prized possession, is...
178
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:21,555
- Yeah, well, get on with it.
- We're fleeing!
179
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,555
- OK, flee.
- I'd leave those.
180
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,300
What?
181
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:36,735
Everybody else in the world
has an iPod.
182
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:38,815
Look, I don't think
you've got...
183
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,655
What have you got
a gramophone for?
184
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,880
It was my grandmother's. We're
fleeing from rebel forces.
185
00:11:42,966 --> 00:11:45,495
Don't stand here doing a commentary.
Get in your truck.
186
00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:47,835
- I'm ready to flee.
- Right.
187
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,895
Perfectly straightforward.
188
00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:52,995
Whichever one is the fastest
from here to the flags there,
189
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,735
yes, best at fleeing.
190
00:11:55,820 --> 00:11:57,375
Is there c...
Yes, yes, exactly right.
191
00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:59,195
- So it's a drag race.
- It's a flee race.
192
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,675
- It's a fleeing race.
- Let's flee, then.
193
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,615
Come on, let's go!
194
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,915
If you need to flee
from government forces,
195
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,035
you need an Amarok.
0 to 60, eight seconds.
196
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,395
That's hot hatchback
territory.
197
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,815
It's the fastest of the trio,
198
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,015
the most powerful
of the trio,
199
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:18,955
and the lightest of the trio.
200
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:22,335
Probably not now, but it was.
201
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:26,215
I have the biggest engine -
3.2 litres, five cylinders,
202
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:28,195
and not only is it strong
enough to pull a train,
203
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:32,255
literally, it's also the engine
they use in the Transit van.
204
00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:36,075
And those, as anyone who's
ever been on a motorway knows,
205
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,535
have a top speed
of more than what you're in.
206
00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:42,515
Now we're alone, viewers,
I will admit
207
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,875
I'm not feeling entirely
confident about this.
208
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:48,415
The 2.3 litre engine in
my Mercedes is very robust.
209
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,495
It will last for
a thousand years.
210
00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:52,195
But it's not
what you'd call powerful.
211
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,995
I think there might be a few
aerodynamic issues as well.
212
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,015
But, anyway,
I'm gonna go in D
213
00:12:57,100 --> 00:13:00,055
on the basis that Mercedes
knows better than me.
214
00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:04,955
Here we go. Here we go.
215
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,755
Bit of a slow start
for fleeing.
216
00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:23,695
Whoa, I may have lost
a couple of things.
217
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,495
Oh, I've lost my bike!
218
00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:33,535
I was so hoping to have my
bike available once I'd fled.
219
00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:38,335
Bit of buffeting
and I'm losing.
220
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,575
Oh,
and Jeremy's getting away!
221
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:46,855
Storming ahead.
I mean, storming.
222
00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:52,735
- Ooh, a lot of glass!
- There's glass everywhere.
223
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:58,475
That is not a lot
of braking area.
224
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,980
My Lego!
225
00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:32,700
Bicycle.
226
00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:38,315
- This is our new life, chaps.
- This is...
227
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,735
Lego, cream,
and a shit record.
228
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:43,035
- Well, you can say that...
- I'm gonna start again.
229
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,115
- Oh, no, we've got a chair.
- You say that...
230
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,875
- We're gonna be all right.
- I literally think we're OK.
231
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,635
- Yes.
- So, let's just get this crystal clear.
232
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,415
OK, we haven't
escaped with much,
233
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,595
but the Volkswagen
has now won all three tests.
234
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,295
- Who decided that?
- Me.
235
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:00,095
Yeah, but this isn't
a dictatorship any more.
236
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:02,075
- We toppled the dictator.
- Yeah. It's a democracy.
237
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,895
It was the fastest by a mile.
238
00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:06,495
Yeah, it is the fastest.
239
00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:08,675
It was easily the best
at pulling over statues
240
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,975
and the best
at water irrigation.
241
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:13,415
No. And... you may
have got there first,
242
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,895
guaranteeing your survival,
but you have no life.
243
00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:19,095
You have half a table and a mattress
and the worst album in history.
244
00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:20,355
You really have nothing left!
245
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,955
I have got the contents
of a home.
246
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,615
You call this
the worst album...
247
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,355
The merits of
The Yes Album aside,
248
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,315
the fact remained that with
the country now in chaos,
249
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,295
help is urgently needed.
250
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:42,095
So, how would our
commandeered trucks
251
00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:44,155
cope with their requirements?
252
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,935
Quite well, actually.
253
00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:01,635
I think we got away
with that.
254
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,075
- No one from Oxfam here.
- No.
255
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:08,255
OK, um...
we'll pick that up later on.
256
00:16:08,340 --> 00:16:12,455
Yes, but first it is time
to brim the tank of chat
257
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:15,315
from the petrol station
of debate,
258
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,555
on the corner of
Conversation Street.
259
00:16:24,540 --> 00:16:26,100
Now...
260
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:32,455
There's been a lot of talk
recently about electric cars,
261
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:35,155
obviously, so we thought we ought to
have some conversation about that.
262
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,355
- Yeah.
- And we're gonna kick it off, if I may,
263
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,355
with the new Audi e-tron.
Got a picture of it here.
264
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,255
Sure, it's very nice.
265
00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:46,495
The only problem is e-tron is
the French word... for turd.
266
00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:47,915
Is it?
267
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,415
Mmm, yes.
268
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,795
They're not gonna sell many of
those in France, I'm guessing.
269
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,615
No, they probably won't.
In the same way that Hyundai
270
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:56,955
has just introduced
a new car called the Kona.
271
00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,115
They're not gonna be selling
too many of those in Portugal.
272
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,435
Why? Is "Kona"
Portuguese for "turd"?
273
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,095
- No.
- What, then?
274
00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:06,915
It's the one word
we can't say.
275
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:09,895
Mourinho.
276
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:12,615
Yes.
That's exactly what it is.
277
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,215
- Moving on.
- Yes.
278
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,215
Have you seen
those stories around
279
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:19,575
about Jaguar possibly going over
to making only electric cars?
280
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:22,615
- I have read that, yeah.
- All Jaguars would be electric, which is a worry.
281
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,875
Because, potentially, it'll
make it a lot more difficult
282
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,095
to hear your
Jaguar-driving guest
283
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:29,015
leave your house
early in the morning
284
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,155
- with all of your silverware in the boot.
- Good point.
285
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,695
- Very good point.
- That's a risk.
286
00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:34,115
"Oh, no,
I've just taken all..."
287
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,615
Or they'll be
turning up all hours
288
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,275
of the day and night
just standing there.
289
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,895
"I'm sorry, could I charge
my car up at your house?
290
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:42,495
Spot of bother with the
electricity company over at mine."
291
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:45,075
- "Just pop that in the wall."
- "Yes, if you don't mind."
292
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,915
Yeah, no, but if we may
be serious for a moment,
293
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,375
the biggest problem is
294
00:17:49,460 --> 00:17:52,755
the electrical charging
infrastructure in this country
295
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,455
simply isn't
good enough to...
296
00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:58,535
sustain a great deal
of demand. It just isn't.
297
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,875
Yeah, but it'll get better and
the vast majority of people
298
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,295
simply recharge at night.
299
00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:04,235
- That's what I do, with mine.
- Yes, I know.
300
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,895
But if you go on a long journey,
you can't take your house.
301
00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:08,575
You've gotta charge up
somewhere else.
302
00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:10,015
Yes, but electric
charging points
303
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:11,635
are springing up everywhere
at the moment
304
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,835
- at quite a rate.
- I agree.
305
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,875
- They are.
- They are. They are.
306
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:19,215
But look at it this way. OK, the
second most boring thing a man can do
307
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,995
is filling up with petrol -
second most after...
308
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,455
Trying on trousers.
309
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:25,395
- We all agree that's the worst.
- It's just a fact.
310
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,015
The second most boring thing
you can do
311
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,995
is fill up with petrol, which
takes what, three minutes?
312
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,475
- Yes.
- Charging a car up
313
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:34,055
is like 40 minutes, and I
haven't got time for that.
314
00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:36,366
No, but it's, it's...
40 minutes is getting...
315
00:18:36,452 --> 00:18:37,749
You can do it
in less than that now
316
00:18:37,835 --> 00:18:39,555
and it's getting shorter
and shorter all the time.
317
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,335
Charging times are
plummeting. They're dropping.
318
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:43,635
But you've gotta go into a service
station, surrounded by people
319
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,235
with smelly bottoms, all
playing on those slot machines.
320
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,895
And 40 minutes,
you just think,
321
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:50,475
"I've got so much more I'd
rather be doing than this."
322
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,715
I only have, if I'm lucky,
323
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,615
175,000 hours
before I do dying.
324
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,115
And I'm not gonna waste any of
them charging an electric car up.
325
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,215
I'm just not.
326
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:05,135
Sticking with electric cars, the iconic
London black taxi has gone electric.
327
00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:07,255
We've got a picture
of it here. There it is.
328
00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:10,315
I've ridden it. I've driven it as
well, actually, and it's excellent.
329
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,035
Very, very smooth,
very comfortable,
330
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:13,535
and obviously
it's very quiet.
331
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,315
Which means you can hear
the driver's views
332
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,795
on immigration more clearly.
333
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,095
Everybody always says...
334
00:19:19,180 --> 00:19:21,395
I like black cabs.
I use them all the time.
335
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,115
Yeah, you really are
a dinosaur.
336
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,775
- No, I just hate Uber.
- You don't hate Uber.
337
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:27,395
- I do hate Uber.
- They just work.
338
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,975
Have you seen how they drive?
339
00:19:29,060 --> 00:19:31,775
They're appalling! Dithering
about in the middle of junctions
340
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:33,475
and they don't know
where they're going.
341
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,275
And it's always a Prius.
And I hate those commercials
342
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:39,375
where they say, "Not all of
our drivers are rapists."
343
00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:41,815
- That's not
really a slogan, is it?
344
00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:44,155
I'm sorry, I just...
I will not get in with...
345
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:48,855
And, listen, I've only got
175,000 hours left...
346
00:19:48,940 --> 00:19:50,555
If you...
If you don't stop saying
347
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,755
how many hours you've got
left, I shall make it less.
348
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,535
- Look, I...
- A lot less.
349
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,375
Yeah, I'm with him.
And I like Uber.
350
00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:59,255
I like the fact
that you get the alert
351
00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:01,095
that tells you
who's coming to pick you up
352
00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:02,495
and what sort of car
he's driving.
353
00:20:02,580 --> 00:20:03,915
- Yeah, that's...
- What's the point?
354
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,615
It's a Prius.
It's always a Prius.
355
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:06,835
No, it isn't always a Prius.
356
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,495
I've got a friend
and she had one come -
357
00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:10,235
this was just before
Christmas, as it happened.
358
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:11,635
The driver was
from South America.
359
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,635
And she got an alert
and it said,
360
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,255
"Jesus is arriving soon
in a Honda Accord."
361
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,875
- Which is not what
it says in the New Testament.
362
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,135
- No, it doesn't.
- It's not, is it? Who knew?
363
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,355
Anyway, there is a new
version of the Bugatti Chiron.
364
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,755
We've got a picture of it here.
It's called the Chiron Sport.
365
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:31,495
But that does make me wonder, what bit
of the regular Chiron wasn't sporty?
366
00:20:31,580 --> 00:20:33,135
No, it was
a sporty car, anyway.
367
00:20:33,220 --> 00:20:35,515
It was quite sporty, I noticed that.
Is that more powerful?
368
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,135
No, but it is
18 kilograms lighter
369
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:42,295
because it has carbon fibre
windscreen wipers.
370
00:20:42,380 --> 00:20:45,395
- What? That's all?
- What were the old ones made of?
371
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,615
Cast iron.
372
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:49,775
- So it's 18 kilograms lighter?
- Mm-hm.
373
00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:52,375
- And how much is it?
- Uh... it's £2.3 million.
374
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,395
That's a lot, isn't it?
375
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,915
Well, hold on. The standard one's,
what, two million quid, isn't it?
376
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,275
- I've just had a thought.
- What?
377
00:20:58,360 --> 00:20:59,915
If you're prone to
going through life
378
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,355
with quite a heavy
briefcase...
379
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,555
- Yes?
- If you bought the ordinary Chiron,
380
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,375
left your briefcase at home,
381
00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:07,915
you've automatically created
the Sport, haven't you?
382
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,375
- Yeah.
- And saved yourself £300,000.
383
00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:12,695
That... That is good advice.
384
00:21:12,780 --> 00:21:16,255
Yeah. A lot of people here will be
taking that away with them and using it.
385
00:21:16,340 --> 00:21:18,315
- That's consumer advice.
- Exactly. I like to do that.
386
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,155
All part of the service.
We're here for you.
387
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,875
Can I move it on? I have some
interesting conversation.
388
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,795
- Oh, good.
- There is a man in Canada
389
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,995
who has successfully lowered
his car insurance premium
390
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,335
by declaring himself
to be a woman.
391
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:32,375
Now, he hasn't had
the operation,
392
00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:35,815
he hasn't swapped his beef
torpedo for the silken purse.
393
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:37,395
He has merely...
394
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,535
Thank you, Doctor.
395
00:21:40,620 --> 00:21:41,875
He has merely
taken advantage...
396
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,315
He just said "beef torpedo",
didn't he?
397
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:48,255
Of a loophole in the law that
allows you to change your gender.
398
00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:51,135
Torpedo? You actually claim
you've got a torpedo?
399
00:21:51,220 --> 00:21:53,075
Everybody calls it that.
400
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,895
A Spearfish he rides into...
401
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,255
Listen, listen.
There's a lot of this about.
402
00:21:57,340 --> 00:22:00,855
There was a chap the other day sentenced
to some considerable jail time,
403
00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:03,835
and as he was sentenced, he went, "Oh,
I've just remembered, I'm a woman."
404
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,555
Can I go to a lady prison? Preferably one
of those like you see on the internet."
405
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,215
Yeah, and it worked.
It worked.
406
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:10,655
They sent him
to a lady prison.
407
00:22:10,740 --> 00:22:12,735
Where, sure enough, he's
been quite badly behaved.
408
00:22:12,820 --> 00:22:15,515
Yeah, chaps, I wouldn't advise trying
it down your local swimming baths,
409
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,915
swaggering into
the changing rooms.
410
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,515
"Morning. Morning, ladies."
411
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,555
I'm a lady as well,
just like you and you.
412
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,695
I'll just hang up my suit
and my tie there
413
00:22:22,780 --> 00:22:24,315
and take a shower
with the rest...
414
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,995
"Oh, my Lord, my vagina's
gone all stiff. Look at that."
415
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,555
"I do apologise."
416
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,015
It's a tricky
and obviously sensitive area,
417
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:34,155
but my advice is if you want to
lower your car insurance premium,
418
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,455
don't walk into this
minefield of whether or not
419
00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:38,195
you can declare yourself
to be a woman.
420
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,415
Simply declare yourself
to be a vicar.
421
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:43,115
That's a good idea, because they do
have cheap insurance, don't they?
422
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:44,675
They do have
very cheap car insurance.
423
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,095
And if you're a vicar...
you can still wear a dress.
424
00:22:47,180 --> 00:22:48,755
- There you go.
- Yeah, so everybody wins.
425
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,795
- Everybody wins.
- More consumer advice.
426
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,575
Ooh, now, you know Morgan?
427
00:22:53,660 --> 00:22:56,815
- I do.
- OK, they've got a serious problem.
428
00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:59,515
Because they make the frames
of their cars out of ash.
429
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,635
Now, all the ash trees in Britain
have either died or are dying.
430
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:07,195
So Morgan is going to have
to import its ash from...
431
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,975
- abroad.
- What?
432
00:23:09,060 --> 00:23:11,035
- Foreign wood.
- Foreign wood in a Morgan?
433
00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:14,375
I know! Can you imagine?
And it may be German.
434
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:16,255
Oh, good God!
German wood in a Morgan!
435
00:23:16,340 --> 00:23:17,835
- No, that's not possible!
- Imagine having German wood.
436
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,255
Can't be done.
437
00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:22,195
That's probably why, because
of this immense problem,
438
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,095
they've decided
to branch out.
439
00:23:24,181 --> 00:23:25,084
What are they doing?
440
00:23:25,172 --> 00:23:27,112
Well, they're gonna
start making bicycles.
441
00:23:27,198 --> 00:23:28,237
Are they made of wood?
442
00:23:28,323 --> 00:23:30,377
Well, yes, we've got a picture.
They are, actually.
443
00:23:30,463 --> 00:23:32,784
The mud guard and the chain
guard are both made of wood.
444
00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:33,935
- Really?
- Yeah.
445
00:23:34,020 --> 00:23:36,175
Oh, they're really roaring
into the future, Morgan.
446
00:23:36,260 --> 00:23:38,175
What are they doing next?
Is it a dugout canoe?
447
00:23:38,260 --> 00:23:40,915
Well, it's interesting you should say that.
It's not a dugout canoe.
448
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,615
It is - and this is
a big surprise for Morgan -
449
00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:45,195
they're making
hair care products.
450
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:46,495
- What?
- What?
451
00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:48,835
They absolutely are making
hair care products.
452
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,035
Um... I've actually got
the blurb about it.
453
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,655
Here, this is actually from
Morgan's website, yeah?
454
00:23:53,740 --> 00:23:55,395
- Well, as they call it.
- They have...
455
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,235
They call it
the electric computer.
456
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,175
I was gonna say.
They have a website?
457
00:23:59,260 --> 00:24:01,555
OK, this is describing
their new hair products,
458
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,215
quintessentially British.
459
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:07,155
"The lotion was originally
created to enable a gentleman"
460
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,975
to hold not only
the racing line,
461
00:24:09,060 --> 00:24:10,955
- "but also his hair style."
- Lovely.
462
00:24:12,340 --> 00:24:14,775
"So Morgan's
most stylish owners..."
463
00:24:14,860 --> 00:24:18,135
There's no such thing
as a stylish Morgan owner.
464
00:24:18,220 --> 00:24:20,275
"Can once again take to
the roads with confidence
465
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,715
that their dapper coiffeur will
hold throughout the journey."
466
00:24:25,260 --> 00:24:26,995
Can I ask something,
while we're on the subject?
467
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,635
Why is it that everything
in the world has a name?
468
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,495
Like cups, spectacles,
Jeremy Clarkson's cardigan.
469
00:24:32,580 --> 00:24:34,995
But anything you put in your
hair is just called product?
470
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,955
I don't get that. The barber
says, "Would you like product?"
471
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,335
You think, "No,
cos it might be HP Sauce."
472
00:24:40,420 --> 00:24:42,035
- That's a product.
- It's a bit vague.
473
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:44,415
They could Tarmac your hair.
"It's product."
474
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,235
- Exactly.
- Molten aluminium is a product.
475
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,175
- It is.
- Swarfega is a product.
476
00:24:49,260 --> 00:24:51,955
I'm not sure that Morgan
actually understands
477
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,307
its customers very well,
with this plan.
478
00:24:54,393 --> 00:24:56,655
What, you're saying that
the typical Morgan customer
479
00:24:56,740 --> 00:24:58,401
- wouldn't traditionally...
- Yeah, look at th...
480
00:24:58,487 --> 00:24:59,955
They're not hair care
product kind of people.
481
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,195
Let's just work this out.
Hammond, you have a Morgan.
482
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,215
And...
483
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:07,255
- Um...
- Actually...
484
00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:09,235
- I'm... I'm...
- Actually, on the subject of that...
485
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,795
Just talk amongst yourselves.
No, seriously, James May,
486
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,915
I want to check
something out with you.
487
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,695
If I may.
Just hang on a minute.
488
00:25:16,780 --> 00:25:18,215
What are you doing?
489
00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:22,695
Well, thing is, OK, you say...
you say that you don't wear...
490
00:25:22,780 --> 00:25:24,875
Oh, I'm uncomfortable with
whatever's happening now.
491
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,175
You will be.
492
00:25:26,260 --> 00:25:27,995
I took this photograph
just last week.
493
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,495
I put an arrow on it
to show what I'm on about.
494
00:25:30,580 --> 00:25:32,533
That's Richard Hammond
sporting... I'll zoom in.
495
00:25:32,619 --> 00:25:34,955
- Some grey hairs there, yeah.
- A couple of grey hairs.
496
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,815
- Ohh.
- Can you see those? Yes?
497
00:25:37,900 --> 00:25:39,675
Now, when I came to work
this morning...
498
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,335
They're still there.
499
00:25:41,420 --> 00:25:43,495
My wife has cut my hair.
They are still there.
500
00:25:43,580 --> 00:25:45,315
They're not. James May?
They're not there.
501
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,935
- I don't dye my hair!
- They're not there.
502
00:25:48,020 --> 00:25:49,955
Come in really close.
They're still there.
503
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,455
Let me arbitrate
independently.
504
00:25:52,540 --> 00:25:54,195
- They're not there!
- They're not there!
505
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,795
- They are! I never...
- You've been using Morgan product.
506
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,055
I've never dyed my ha...
Oh, God!
507
00:26:01,140 --> 00:26:04,075
Would you like to stop doing
Conversation Street now?
508
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,815
I'd so like to do a...
509
00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:09,015
If you want to feed me into a
giant blender, I'd prefer that.
510
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:11,315
Right, that is the end
of Conversation Street.
511
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,555
And now, if I may, I'd like
to talk about the Jaguar XE.
512
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,415
Not your hair.
513
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:19,975
Um... it is a really very nice
little car, if I'm honest.
514
00:26:20,060 --> 00:26:23,235
It's very good looking. It's
not particularly expensive.
515
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,615
Uh... it rides beautifully -
very beautifully, in fact.
516
00:26:26,700 --> 00:26:28,155
And, as a result of all that,
517
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,355
people ignore it
and buy a BMW instead.
518
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,175
So Jaguar went
to its skunkworks,
519
00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:35,775
which is based in a shed,
520
00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:38,155
and they said, "Could
you make a fast version?"
521
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,175
One that will get
everybody talking."
522
00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:52,155
The standard
low cost procedure
523
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,515
for turning a normal saloon
into a sports saloon
524
00:26:55,600 --> 00:27:01,135
is to give it some fat tyres,
a nice V6 engine...
525
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,135
and maybe
some bucket seats.
526
00:27:07,060 --> 00:27:09,895
But the boffins at Jag
decided to go...
527
00:27:10,580 --> 00:27:12,655
a bit further than that.
528
00:27:22,980 --> 00:27:25,695
Welcome, everyone,
to what's called...
529
00:27:26,540 --> 00:27:29,055
the Project 8.
530
00:27:40,460 --> 00:27:42,235
The first thing
you need to know
531
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:46,075
is that the only bits that
these two cars have in common
532
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,295
are the roof
and the front doors.
533
00:27:50,020 --> 00:27:52,615
Everything else is changed.
534
00:27:52,700 --> 00:27:55,215
For some very good reasons.
535
00:27:57,340 --> 00:28:00,355
First of all, they decided they
needed carbon ceramic brakes
536
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,475
that were much bigger than the
brakes on the standard car.
537
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,115
Now, that meant they needed
538
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,555
bigger wheels
to go round the brakes.
539
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:11,575
And bigger wheels
wouldn't fit in these arches.
540
00:28:11,660 --> 00:28:14,755
So they had to redesign
the whole front of the car.
541
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,375
The headlamps, everything.
542
00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:21,095
Then there was the track -
543
00:28:21,180 --> 00:28:23,595
the gap between the wheels,
front and back.
544
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,575
They decided
they'd like that to be wider.
545
00:28:26,660 --> 00:28:28,635
That meant
fitting flared wheel arches.
546
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,275
So that meant a new panel
here... and here,
547
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:33,155
and a new back door,
548
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:36,335
and a new panel
here and here.
549
00:28:39,420 --> 00:28:41,895
Then came the engine.
550
00:28:41,980 --> 00:28:44,595
They decided they didn't
want to mess about
551
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:48,455
and that they'd use
a five-litre supercharged V8.
552
00:28:48,540 --> 00:28:50,015
But that wouldn't fit.
553
00:28:50,100 --> 00:28:53,255
So, to get it in, they had to
cut away at the bulkhead.
554
00:28:53,340 --> 00:28:54,995
And when it was in place,
they thought,
555
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,455
"Wait a minute.
That's all a bit heavy.
556
00:28:57,540 --> 00:28:59,875
We need to save some weight
at the front of the car."
557
00:28:59,960 --> 00:29:02,915
So, the bonnet, as you can
see here, is carbon fibre.
558
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,875
And so are the front wings.
559
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,295
And so is all this.
560
00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:17,275
Suspension? Oh, yes,
that was changed as well.
561
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:22,215
It now has Bilstein dampers
that cost £1,000 each.
562
00:29:22,900 --> 00:29:27,175
And rose joints.
And ceramic wheel bearings.
563
00:29:27,260 --> 00:29:30,455
Like you get on a race car.
564
00:29:32,500 --> 00:29:37,255
On top of all that, the eight-speed
gearbox also needed beefing up.
565
00:29:37,340 --> 00:29:39,975
And so did
the four-wheel drive system.
566
00:29:40,060 --> 00:29:43,195
And then they had to
get rid of the spare wheel
567
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,475
and the well in which it sits
568
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:49,655
to fit some under-floor
aerodynamics.
569
00:29:49,740 --> 00:29:54,015
And when they added up the cost of all
the work they'd done, there was a problem.
570
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:56,555
In order to make
any money at all,
571
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:03,015
the Project 8
would have to cost £150,000.
572
00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:06,595
That's four times more
than the standard car.
573
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,220
Four!
574
00:30:12,980 --> 00:30:15,235
So, here's the question.
575
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:21,455
How mad would you have to be
to spend £150,000...
576
00:30:21,540 --> 00:30:25,955
on a car that was designed
and built in a glorified shed
577
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,335
in the Midlands...
in about 18 months?
578
00:30:31,660 --> 00:30:34,255
And the simple answer is...
579
00:30:34,340 --> 00:30:37,315
not mad at all,
because this car...
580
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,735
is fan-bleeding-tastic!
581
00:30:45,780 --> 00:30:47,875
The engine may be
ten years old,
582
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:51,375
but it has
a huge amount of character.
583
00:30:52,940 --> 00:30:56,375
And nigh on 600 horsepower!
584
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,895
That means 0 to 60
in 3.3 seconds...
585
00:31:03,460 --> 00:31:06,295
and a top speed of 200.
586
00:31:08,420 --> 00:31:10,215
Even more impressive,
587
00:31:10,300 --> 00:31:15,575
ten minutes before the Nurburgring
shut its doors for the winter...
588
00:31:16,260 --> 00:31:18,155
Jag's Project 8 engineers
589
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:22,095
asked if they could have
one last go round it...
590
00:31:22,180 --> 00:31:26,035
and they shattered the record
for four-door saloons
591
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:31,055
with a time of seven minutes,
21 seconds.
592
00:31:31,740 --> 00:31:34,615
That's blisteringly quick.
593
00:31:41,220 --> 00:31:43,661
I will say that if you've
got the car manually
594
00:31:43,747 --> 00:31:45,635
hunkered down and
it's in track mode,
595
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,995
and the traction control
is turned off,
596
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,935
things can go a bit violent
and bitey...
597
00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:57,055
if you go
beyond the limit.
598
00:32:05,020 --> 00:32:06,335
Ugh.
599
00:32:08,940 --> 00:32:11,635
The answer is
to stay within the limits
600
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:15,095
and in this car...
that's no hardship.
601
00:32:18,060 --> 00:32:21,075
The grip from
the four-wheel drive system
602
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:24,835
and the wider track
and the Michelin Cup tyres
603
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,595
absolutely wobbles your eyes.
604
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:29,775
It's phenomenal.
605
00:32:32,980 --> 00:32:34,435
You can corner at speeds
606
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,675
that you simply
can't quite believe.
607
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,455
I mean, that is...
608
00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:42,435
That was 140 kilometres
through there.
609
00:32:46,820 --> 00:32:50,075
Look at that!
That's just sheer grip.
610
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,815
Actually peeled my skin,
that did!
611
00:32:54,460 --> 00:32:56,895
Oh.
612
00:33:03,540 --> 00:33:08,955
I am a sucker for small,
front-engined sports saloons.
613
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:12,735
I had a Mercedes CLK Black.
614
00:33:12,820 --> 00:33:15,595
And this is better than that.
615
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:20,175
This is better than
even the hottest BMW M3.
616
00:33:22,180 --> 00:33:24,955
You can whisper this,
but I reckon it's even better
617
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,735
than Alfa's Quadrifoglio.
618
00:33:37,340 --> 00:33:39,615
This is very good.
619
00:33:41,020 --> 00:33:43,535
Really, really good.
620
00:33:44,900 --> 00:33:47,775
But... is it a Jag?
621
00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:52,315
Well, you can have it
with scaffolding in the back,
622
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,415
but this one has
two proper seats.
623
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:58,015
And in here,
it has enough space
624
00:33:58,100 --> 00:34:00,435
for a "borrowed" oil painting
625
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:05,135
and all the kit that you need
to go out at night...
626
00:34:05,220 --> 00:34:06,755
and "borrow" another one.
627
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,575
So, yes, it is a Jag.
628
00:34:09,660 --> 00:34:11,535
It even says
"prototype vehicle" on it,
629
00:34:11,620 --> 00:34:13,435
which means you don't
have to pay any tax.
630
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,655
Like my prototype watch
and trousers.
631
00:34:15,740 --> 00:34:18,255
And this prototype camera
we're using today.
632
00:34:19,700 --> 00:34:22,975
And there's more.
633
00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:28,235
At normal road speeds with the car
in Comfort or even Dynamic mode,
634
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:33,335
it's as quiet and as
civilised as a Jag should be.
635
00:34:33,420 --> 00:34:37,315
It even has little springs sitting
on top of the bigger springs
636
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,215
to give you
a more comfortable ride.
637
00:34:40,300 --> 00:34:42,155
But everything's relative,
really.
638
00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:44,515
I mean,
it's not as comfortable, say,
639
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:49,035
as lying in a hammock on a summer's
day, listening to wood pigeons.
640
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,895
But it does have
air conditioning
641
00:34:51,980 --> 00:34:53,755
and a head-up display
and electric seats,
642
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:58,255
so it is more comfortable
than you'd expect.
643
00:35:01,420 --> 00:35:05,895
In fact, it's better than
you'd expect in every way.
644
00:35:06,980 --> 00:35:09,255
And maybe we shouldn't be
surprised by that,
645
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:12,355
because the last time something
was designed and built quickly,
646
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,515
in a glorified shed,
in the Midlands,
647
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,975
it was called the Spitfire.
648
00:35:18,060 --> 00:35:20,755
And it won
the Battle of Britain.
649
00:35:28,020 --> 00:35:30,475
The Battle of Britain...
650
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:35,514
And three, two, one,
cue James May.
651
00:35:35,607 --> 00:35:36,654
Ready?
652
00:35:36,795 --> 00:35:38,584
Hang on. Hang on, hang
on, hang on, hang on.
653
00:35:38,670 --> 00:35:41,095
- Hang on. The Spitfire?
- Yes.
654
00:35:41,180 --> 00:35:43,495
It was the Hurricane that
won the Battle of Britain.
655
00:35:43,580 --> 00:35:45,395
- Well, it just wasn't.
- No, it just was.
656
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,795
There were far more of them,
it was easier to build,
657
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,135
it was easier to repair,
it was easier to fly.
658
00:35:50,220 --> 00:35:52,675
- It was.
- But that's like saying that a Nissan Juke
659
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,495
is better than
a Lamborghini Aventador
660
00:35:54,580 --> 00:35:56,975
because it's easier to build
and there are more of them.
661
00:35:57,060 --> 00:35:58,375
- No, it's not like that.
- It is.
662
00:35:58,460 --> 00:35:59,715
The Hurricane was
a much more stable
663
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,315
gun platform
in the hands of a novice.
664
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,315
The Hurricane accounted
for more enemy aircraft
665
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,715
than all of our other
air defences combined.
666
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:06,695
It won.
667
00:36:06,780 --> 00:36:08,235
Yes, but the Spitfire, OK,
668
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,175
the Spitfire
looked glamorous.
669
00:36:10,260 --> 00:36:13,415
So you'd look up in the sky and then
that improved morale on the ground,
670
00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:16,155
cos people were going, "Wow, look at that!
We can't possibly lose this."
671
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:18,455
Yes, but morale didn't
shoot down enemy aircraft.
672
00:36:18,540 --> 00:36:19,995
Hurricanes did.
That's simply a fact.
673
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:21,955
But if a small boy's
looking out the window,
674
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,215
"Wow! Look,
there's a Spitfire up there
675
00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:26,895
and I'm gonna join the RAF!"
And that's what we needed.
676
00:36:26,980 --> 00:36:29,675
He didn't wanna fly a Hurricane cos
it looked like a sad Basset Hound.
677
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,455
No, it didn't.
And anyway, the best...
678
00:36:31,540 --> 00:36:33,335
The best fighter aircraft
of World War II
679
00:36:33,420 --> 00:36:35,135
was the Messerschmitt 109.
Everybody knows that.
680
00:36:35,220 --> 00:36:36,995
- That didn't win the Battle of Britain!
- Well, it...
681
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,635
To be honest, nobody won the
Battle of Britain. It was a draw.
682
00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:41,275
What? Where have you
got that from?
683
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,935
- It was a draw.
- Chaps! Chaps! Chaps!
684
00:36:45,020 --> 00:36:47,955
Hate to make this whole thing
sound like, I don't know...
685
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:51,455
a car show, but can we get it
back to the Jag a bit, please?
686
00:36:51,540 --> 00:36:53,755
Yes. I don't want to talk
to him about aeroplanes.
687
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,315
- Cos he's wrong.
- OK, OK. Remember the Jag.
688
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,155
- Yes.
- Is it a mainstream car?
689
00:36:58,240 --> 00:37:00,215
No. No, if I'm honest,
it isn't.
690
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:01,635
They've only made 300 of them
691
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,135
and they're all
left-hand drive.
692
00:37:03,220 --> 00:37:05,455
So they went to all that time
and trouble to develop it...
693
00:37:05,540 --> 00:37:07,475
And expense. -...and now
they're only building a handful
694
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:09,515
and they've put the steering
wheel on the wrong side?
695
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,775
No, it is... it is very odd, but
since I don't want to listen to him
696
00:37:12,860 --> 00:37:14,715
talking about Hurricanes
any more, I do think
697
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:18,255
we should find out how fast
it goes round the Eboladrome.
698
00:37:18,340 --> 00:37:20,515
And she's off,
699
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,295
in a cloud of
V8 crackle and fury,
700
00:37:23,380 --> 00:37:26,135
and immediately
onto the Isn't Straight.
701
00:37:27,340 --> 00:37:28,795
Twitchy with
a change of line,
702
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,595
but she's got it
under control
703
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:35,175
using every one of
the 592 horsepowers.
704
00:37:38,980 --> 00:37:40,795
Bit of tyre squeal
705
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,635
as she swings down
into Your Name Here.
706
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:47,375
Right, hard on the brakes
down the eight-speed box.
707
00:37:47,460 --> 00:37:50,595
More tyre squeal from
those super-sticky Michelins.
708
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,415
And clearly they are
working well.
709
00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:56,195
Right, back on the power now
for the full-chat sprint.
710
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,255
Down the Isn't.
711
00:38:01,060 --> 00:38:04,895
OK, more hard braking soon...
712
00:38:04,980 --> 00:38:08,935
for the flick into the tricky
complex at Old Lady's House.
713
00:38:09,020 --> 00:38:11,675
Four-wheel drive
keeping it clinging on.
714
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:15,835
Now, spearing down the bumpy
bit towards Substation.
715
00:38:17,540 --> 00:38:19,615
Good noise, that.
716
00:38:19,700 --> 00:38:21,635
Oh, a lot of tyre squeal
through there,
717
00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:24,415
but just Field Of Sheep
to go.
718
00:38:24,500 --> 00:38:25,995
Pitches it into a drift.
719
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,295
Nicely done.
And across the line.
720
00:38:28,380 --> 00:38:31,295
- It looks good, that.
It's got that dartyness.
721
00:38:31,380 --> 00:38:33,935
Looks like a race car. It rides like one.
You can see it.
722
00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:36,235
It's extraordinary how well
it drives on the road.
723
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:37,855
Cos it's all a... Anyway...
724
00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:40,195
Uh... that's the top ten
of our leader board.
725
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:41,575
And there's the Jag
726
00:38:41,660 --> 00:38:43,195
waiting to see
where it goes.
727
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,815
Or does it indeed get
onto that list at all?
728
00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:47,435
Let's find out.
Let's move it up.
729
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:48,615
Does it?
730
00:38:48,700 --> 00:38:49,915
- Oh.
- Bloody hell.
731
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,915
Hang on a minute.
It's faster than a GT3 RS?
732
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,455
Good God!
733
00:38:54,540 --> 00:38:56,935
That is a really
properly good car, that.
734
00:38:57,020 --> 00:38:58,935
- Mm.
- It is the Spitfire of cars.
735
00:38:59,020 --> 00:39:00,635
- Hurricane.
- Don't... Leave it.
736
00:39:00,720 --> 00:39:02,995
Hold, hold. Leave it.
Hold. Hold.
737
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:04,675
Hold steady.
738
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,175
And relax.
739
00:39:06,260 --> 00:39:07,455
And carry on.
740
00:39:07,540 --> 00:39:09,795
Tonight, we are
finding out... Is this right?
741
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:13,015
Tonight... we are finding out
742
00:39:13,100 --> 00:39:15,515
how the new breed
of European pick-up trucks
743
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,775
would fare
in the developing world.
744
00:39:17,860 --> 00:39:21,495
And we've learned that the
Volkswagen is the best of the lot.
745
00:39:21,580 --> 00:39:24,095
- No, we didn't learn that.
- Well, we did.
746
00:39:24,180 --> 00:39:26,275
It was the fastest
and it was the most powerful.
747
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,455
Yeah, but that's not actually
terribly relevant
748
00:39:28,540 --> 00:39:31,235
if you're in a country where there are
more AK-47s than ambulances, is it?
749
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,975
Yes, but whatever. OK?
Whatever.
750
00:39:34,060 --> 00:39:36,995
So far, we've seen what
happens when the peace ends
751
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:40,015
and the dictator is toppled
and chaos ensues.
752
00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:41,795
And now we pick up the story
753
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,535
with what typically happens
after that.
754
00:39:54,420 --> 00:39:56,455
OK, here's the situation.
755
00:39:56,540 --> 00:39:58,015
There's a power vacuum now,
756
00:39:58,100 --> 00:40:00,315
foreign armies are pouring in
and it's our job
757
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:05,135
to get this fuel...
to the nation's helicopter.
758
00:40:05,220 --> 00:40:07,775
And then the villagers
can be strafed.
759
00:40:08,580 --> 00:40:10,635
- Really?
- That's what happens.
760
00:40:10,720 --> 00:40:14,415
To that end,
we have got to go from here
761
00:40:14,500 --> 00:40:16,935
to this forward
operating base.
762
00:40:20,260 --> 00:40:22,715
And the first one there
is the winner.
763
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,015
That'll be me, then.
764
00:40:25,100 --> 00:40:26,595
Having saddled up,
765
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,875
we waited
for the sound to charge...
766
00:40:32,060 --> 00:40:33,655
and then, naturally,
767
00:40:33,740 --> 00:40:36,395
all set off
in different directions.
768
00:40:38,900 --> 00:40:40,895
Yeah. Yeah.
769
00:40:40,980 --> 00:40:42,995
If I go through here...
770
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:44,335
Oh, yeah!
771
00:40:44,420 --> 00:40:47,875
I am racing a pick-up truck
off-road in Wales
772
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,915
to refuel a helicopter.
773
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,655
Oh, I am erect!
774
00:40:55,020 --> 00:40:56,935
Turn in and right.
775
00:40:57,020 --> 00:40:59,415
This test,
if you think about it,
776
00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:02,435
it is rather pertinent that
we are filming this in the UK,
777
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:03,955
because in a couple of years
778
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,395
when Brexit has really
caught up with us,
779
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:07,955
there will be a civil war
780
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:11,775
and you will need
pick-up trucks to survive.
781
00:41:11,860 --> 00:41:14,895
I think, if I can get through
this gap in the wall,
782
00:41:14,980 --> 00:41:17,675
I save having to drive all
the way round the end of it.
783
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:19,755
Here I come.
784
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,955
Oh-hoo! I have a compass.
785
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,655
This is a piece of cake.
786
00:41:29,060 --> 00:41:31,375
Agh! Ohh!
787
00:41:31,460 --> 00:41:33,695
It can take some punishment,
this thing.
788
00:41:34,540 --> 00:41:36,595
That's what you want.
Utility.
789
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,395
It's like
Jack Reacher's trousers.
790
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:44,615
They're just some trousers.
This is just some pick-up.
791
00:41:44,700 --> 00:41:49,755
Sadly for me, the Amarok
wasn't wearing Jack Reacher's trousers.
792
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,655
Come on! Climb!
793
00:41:57,540 --> 00:42:00,415
Climb, you stupid car!
794
00:42:01,100 --> 00:42:03,855
Right, I reckon, past here...
795
00:42:04,740 --> 00:42:08,175
- Ooh, hello!
- Ah, Mr Hammond!
796
00:42:08,260 --> 00:42:10,255
Oh, we've ended up
in the same place!
797
00:42:10,340 --> 00:42:11,995
Right, let's see
what you got. Uphill.
798
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:15,575
- Come on.
- No!
799
00:42:15,660 --> 00:42:17,875
Why is his car doing this
and I'm not?
800
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:23,135
Why is that possible?
801
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:26,335
Come on!
802
00:42:26,420 --> 00:42:30,095
It's not getting up that
hill! Not in a million years!
803
00:42:31,940 --> 00:42:33,515
He's got better tyres.
804
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,015
That's what that
is all about.
805
00:42:37,220 --> 00:42:40,915
Whatever the issue, I had
to find a flatter route.
806
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,015
Come on, come on.
807
00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:46,095
I must win this. Must win.
808
00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:48,895
I don't think
that this Amarok
809
00:42:48,980 --> 00:42:51,815
is really designed
for freedom fighters
810
00:42:51,900 --> 00:42:53,975
in Africa
and the Middle East.
811
00:42:54,060 --> 00:42:56,995
I think it's aimed more
at surveyors in England.
812
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,015
I mean, it's got a laptop
charging point here
813
00:43:00,100 --> 00:43:01,475
and a leather steering wheel.
814
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:05,215
I'm not sure you need that
kind of thing in Mogadishu.
815
00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:10,835
I need to go west,
west-southwest for a bit,
816
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,415
but avoiding
that clump of trees.
817
00:43:15,060 --> 00:43:17,655
What is this?
818
00:43:22,700 --> 00:43:24,575
Shrugs it off!
819
00:43:25,580 --> 00:43:28,635
It's Hammond! He's going
completely the wrong way.
820
00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:30,175
Wrong way!
821
00:43:30,260 --> 00:43:32,635
James going the other way
is a very comforting sight.
822
00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:35,615
It means you're going
the right way.
823
00:43:38,180 --> 00:43:42,355
In the Amarok, I was
still searching for another route.
824
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,175
Right... Oh, hang on.
825
00:43:45,700 --> 00:43:47,475
I think I'm on a golf course.
826
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,455
Which way do I go?
827
00:43:50,740 --> 00:43:54,155
Uh... maybe if I drove round
faster I could work it out.
828
00:43:59,980 --> 00:44:02,115
Yeah, it's this way.
Here we go.
829
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,855
All cleared up now.
830
00:44:06,940 --> 00:44:09,635
Meanwhile,
in the Mercedes,
831
00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:12,255
I was making
excellent progress.
832
00:44:12,340 --> 00:44:15,455
I've got this fantastic
360-degree camera system in here,
833
00:44:15,540 --> 00:44:17,275
so when I'm doing
a tricky bit like this,
834
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:19,495
I can turn the knob
and look down each side.
835
00:44:19,580 --> 00:44:22,735
I can look down the right wheel,
down the left wheel, down the front.
836
00:44:25,620 --> 00:44:28,275
Absolutely no excuse
for hitting anything. Easy.
837
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,515
I haven't grounded out
once doing this.
838
00:44:36,460 --> 00:44:38,135
Um...
839
00:44:38,220 --> 00:44:41,195
Meanwhile, I'd just realised
that for once in his life,
840
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:44,355
James had actually been going
in the right direction.
841
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,615
OK, I am lost.
842
00:44:46,700 --> 00:44:48,695
I think it was that way.
843
00:44:48,780 --> 00:44:50,535
I'm gonna go this way.
844
00:44:50,620 --> 00:44:52,315
Right,
let's see what you got.
845
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:56,375
Come on.
I cannot lose this race.
846
00:44:59,900 --> 00:45:03,615
Ooh!
847
00:45:04,900 --> 00:45:07,415
Careful. A bit of a bump.
848
00:45:08,660 --> 00:45:11,015
With the others
far behind,
849
00:45:11,100 --> 00:45:15,255
I'd found a rough track that led
to the forward operating base.
850
00:45:18,100 --> 00:45:20,295
Buffeting...
851
00:45:20,980 --> 00:45:23,655
Ohh, that's a big hole. Argh.
852
00:45:26,340 --> 00:45:30,475
And Jeremy and I were also
heading in the right direction,
853
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,815
on a route that was longer,
but faster.
854
00:45:35,980 --> 00:45:37,700
Big one!
855
00:45:40,820 --> 00:45:43,615
This is cracking along,
this thing!
856
00:45:51,020 --> 00:45:53,335
Yes!
857
00:45:53,420 --> 00:45:57,135
On the fast track, the Amarok
was starting to come good.
858
00:45:58,860 --> 00:46:01,575
This is quick. Very quick.
859
00:46:02,700 --> 00:46:07,055
Even with 100 gallons
of Avgas in the back.
860
00:46:09,180 --> 00:46:11,815
Whoa, hang on!
861
00:46:11,900 --> 00:46:15,695
Even though the Merc was
the only one with coil springs,
862
00:46:15,780 --> 00:46:18,395
life on the rough track
was very uncomfortable.
863
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,415
Aargh!
864
00:46:21,380 --> 00:46:23,260
Bogs!
865
00:46:24,340 --> 00:46:25,615
Whoa!
866
00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:28,015
And then...
867
00:46:29,060 --> 00:46:30,580
Bollocks!
868
00:46:32,780 --> 00:46:35,215
That is a complete dead end.
869
00:46:35,300 --> 00:46:37,855
I've wasted my time.
I'm gonna have to go back.
870
00:46:39,780 --> 00:46:42,215
I can't turn round there.
Oh, God.
871
00:46:43,060 --> 00:46:44,815
Or there.
872
00:46:44,900 --> 00:46:47,615
This is losing me vital time.
873
00:46:52,420 --> 00:46:53,955
On the faster route,
874
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:57,855
the powerful Amarok was
starting to rein in the Ford.
875
00:46:58,980 --> 00:47:01,495
Right, Hammond,
I'm coming to get you!
876
00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:05,655
He's toast!
877
00:47:05,740 --> 00:47:08,935
I don't think so, my friend!
No way!
878
00:47:11,580 --> 00:47:14,795
- Come on, Amarok!
- Eeeeeeee!
879
00:47:18,740 --> 00:47:20,835
Get in, get in!
880
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:26,055
Kill him! I want the medal!
I want to deliver the fuel!
881
00:47:27,380 --> 00:47:29,715
No way!
You're not coming through!
882
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:33,815
- Oh, no! Wooh-hoo!
- Yeah, he's been crossed up!
883
00:47:33,900 --> 00:47:36,575
Come on, Jeremy!
Get him, get him, get him!
884
00:47:37,260 --> 00:47:39,260
No! No!
885
00:47:42,020 --> 00:47:44,235
I'm now in the lead!
886
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:46,075
I'm doing winning!
887
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:47,815
No!
888
00:47:47,900 --> 00:47:49,060
Disaster!
889
00:47:55,820 --> 00:47:59,075
No!
That's the compound! Damn it!
890
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:04,535
There's the helicopter! And once
again, the Amarok is victorious!
891
00:48:18,300 --> 00:48:20,515
Is that barrel gonna...
892
00:48:32,820 --> 00:48:36,135
What on earth?
893
00:48:36,220 --> 00:48:39,855
I'm probably not gonna get my freedom
fighter badge now, am I, for that?
894
00:48:40,620 --> 00:48:43,095
- What happened?
- Well, him!
895
00:48:43,180 --> 00:48:46,355
And any minute now he's gonna
claim he won this one as well.
896
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:48,635
- I did win it!
- Oh, yeah, it looks it.
897
00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:50,155
That looks like success.
898
00:48:50,240 --> 00:48:52,095
We were told to deliver fuel!
899
00:48:52,180 --> 00:48:54,915
We weren't told to detonate
the nation's helicopter!
900
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,895
Look at it!
901
00:48:57,980 --> 00:48:59,875
What is the budget
for our show?
902
00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:02,735
- Smaller than it was.
- Yeah, not... not big enough.
903
00:49:02,820 --> 00:49:04,735
That's quite a...
That's an expensive thing.
904
00:49:04,820 --> 00:49:06,235
- Yeah, helico...
- Yeah, it's a helicopter.
905
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:07,795
There are
no cheap helicopters.
906
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,375
Apart from that one now.
907
00:49:10,460 --> 00:49:13,315
It's beyond useless, isn't
it? It's something else.
908
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,775
- Oh, don't pat it.
- It's a good truck!
909
00:49:15,860 --> 00:49:17,815
If you have to have
a pick-up truck,
910
00:49:17,900 --> 00:49:19,515
at a time of strife
in your country,
911
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,995
this is proving to be
the winner at everything.
912
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:23,695
I may have prevented the war.
913
00:49:23,780 --> 00:49:25,415
How have you
prevented the war?
914
00:49:25,500 --> 00:49:27,555
- Well, because...
- The helicopter was there to stop the war
915
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:29,315
by strafing
the uprising villagers.
916
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,155
- And now it can't do that.
- No.
917
00:49:31,240 --> 00:49:34,935
So now the whole thing is gonna
descend into civil war and chaos.
918
00:49:44,660 --> 00:49:47,135
It is inevitable
in the developing world
919
00:49:47,220 --> 00:49:49,115
that one day
all pick-up trucks
920
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,815
end up being used
as gun platforms.
921
00:49:51,900 --> 00:49:54,435
- Yeah. It's their destiny.
- To die on the battlefield.
922
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,375
Yeah, every day
you turn on the news
923
00:49:56,460 --> 00:49:59,555
and there's somebody standing in
the back of a Toyota or a Nissan,
924
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:03,215
shooting at someone
in a Humvee or a Land Rover.
925
00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:08,035
And what we wanna know is how good
will our European trucks be at that.
926
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:11,575
Yeah. And most importantly,
which one is best.
927
00:50:11,660 --> 00:50:14,555
To find out, each of
our pick-ups would be driven
928
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:18,095
through a ruined town
by a freedom fighter...
929
00:50:20,540 --> 00:50:24,575
whilst we stood on the back
shooting at various targets.
930
00:50:24,660 --> 00:50:27,155
These included
some big barn doors,
931
00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:29,015
a whole bus,
932
00:50:29,100 --> 00:50:32,215
and a selection
of cardboard soldiers.
933
00:50:32,900 --> 00:50:34,795
James volunteered
to go first,
934
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,895
but there seemed to be
a bit of a problem.
935
00:50:38,900 --> 00:50:41,635
Why haven't you s... Wh...
Why haven't you set off?
936
00:50:41,720 --> 00:50:43,955
Well, I'm just doing
this small repair.
937
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:45,535
What are you repairing?
938
00:50:45,620 --> 00:50:47,155
Well, when the barrels
were in,
939
00:50:47,240 --> 00:50:49,775
it slightly
bowed out the sides,
940
00:50:49,860 --> 00:50:53,195
and as a result of that,
this won't stay shut...
941
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:55,015
which is a bit hazardous.
942
00:50:55,100 --> 00:50:56,555
That looks shut,
but you go over a bump
943
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,615
and that latch...
See how that doesn't line up?
944
00:50:58,700 --> 00:51:00,635
So you've misused your pick-up
by using it as a pick-up?
945
00:51:00,720 --> 00:51:02,835
No, I'm sorry, I...
There's more to it than that.
946
00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:05,595
This is supposed to be
a Nissan and a Mercedes,
947
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,535
the world's
most durable thing...
948
00:51:08,620 --> 00:51:11,115
Mm-hm? -...and it's
got a flexible back end?
949
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:15,095
That's rubbish! That is
actually, genuinely, rubbish.
950
00:51:16,300 --> 00:51:18,195
Whilst I secured
the tailgate,
951
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:20,935
Jeremy loaded up my AK-47...
952
00:51:21,020 --> 00:51:24,675
I'll put it down carefully in case
I break your pick-up truck with it.
953
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,695
And then
I was ready to deploy.
954
00:51:29,220 --> 00:51:31,895
- You can go.
- Ride out to glory!
955
00:51:31,980 --> 00:51:34,555
Look at him! The soldier of fortune!
956
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:36,335
Dogs of war!
957
00:51:36,420 --> 00:51:38,595
The Spaniel of War
is what it is!
958
00:51:41,820 --> 00:51:43,695
Oh, this is quite difficult.
959
00:51:43,780 --> 00:51:47,335
Even though I've got the car with
the most sophisticated suspension,
960
00:51:47,420 --> 00:51:49,155
I've got
a slightly slippery floor.
961
00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:51,515
I'm looking for a barn door.
962
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:52,795
There it is.
963
00:51:57,580 --> 00:51:58,895
Argh.
964
00:51:58,980 --> 00:52:01,495
They make this look a lot
easier in Black Hawk Down.
965
00:52:02,500 --> 00:52:05,815
There's the bus! Oof!
966
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:11,495
Oh, cock!
967
00:52:11,580 --> 00:52:14,035
Having somehow managed
to miss a whole bus,
968
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,375
I started to look for
the cardboard soldiers.
969
00:52:18,020 --> 00:52:20,075
Die, cardboard
cut-out bast...
970
00:52:25,460 --> 00:52:27,235
More. Argh.
971
00:52:31,420 --> 00:52:33,975
Ow!
972
00:52:35,260 --> 00:52:38,255
Come on, barn door,
I'm ready for ya!
973
00:52:40,540 --> 00:52:43,215
Take this, barn door!
974
00:52:43,300 --> 00:52:46,875
Rambo May had missed
all the barn doors,
975
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:49,895
all of the bus
and all of the soldiers.
976
00:52:49,980 --> 00:52:52,355
So, with a score of zero
to beat,
977
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:56,055
Arnold Hammondenegger
was feeling very confident.
978
00:52:56,940 --> 00:53:00,295
- Stand up.
- I am standing up!
979
00:53:00,380 --> 00:53:02,555
Oh, he loves that.
980
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:05,495
Ha!
981
00:53:05,580 --> 00:53:07,415
Ha-ha!
982
00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:10,635
Welcome to Richard Hammond's
usual weekend.
983
00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:12,575
Ha-ha!
984
00:53:12,660 --> 00:53:14,975
Ooh, wait!
Is that a barn door?
985
00:53:15,060 --> 00:53:17,815
Oh, a bush got in the way.
986
00:53:17,900 --> 00:53:19,775
That's all
that happened then.
987
00:53:20,460 --> 00:53:22,975
Bus! Big target!
988
00:53:24,020 --> 00:53:26,415
Oh, shit! I'm out of bullets.
989
00:53:29,100 --> 00:53:32,055
Hold on. Ohh.
990
00:53:35,220 --> 00:53:36,375
Bugger.
991
00:53:36,460 --> 00:53:39,215
Oh, wait, targets!
992
00:53:40,700 --> 00:53:42,135
Oh, I've jammed.
993
00:53:42,220 --> 00:53:45,475
OK, all the baddies, stop.
994
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:47,395
Hang on.
995
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,020
Oh, shit.
996
00:53:51,260 --> 00:53:55,955
I've gotta try and make up for this now
on the last target. Pinpoint shooting.
997
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:58,695
Barn doors! Target acquired!
998
00:53:58,780 --> 00:54:00,875
Oh, no! No, not now!
999
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:04,935
I've jammed my gun.
Oh, bollocks.
1000
00:54:09,380 --> 00:54:11,735
I had a bit of gun trouble,
I'll not lie.
1001
00:54:11,820 --> 00:54:13,655
- Well, here's some more news.
- Yes?
1002
00:54:13,740 --> 00:54:16,355
General Stonewall Clarkson
has gone off to get ready,
1003
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:17,855
but I suddenly remembered...
1004
00:54:17,940 --> 00:54:19,835
- Remember when we were in Jordan?
- Yeah?
1005
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:22,175
He can't fire
automatic rifles.
1006
00:54:22,260 --> 00:54:23,375
- No.
- Do you remember?
1007
00:54:23,460 --> 00:54:24,935
- Cos he's...
- Because... It's...
1008
00:54:25,020 --> 00:54:26,475
- He's crossed over, isn't he?
- Yeah.
1009
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:28,815
He's right-handed,
but left-eyed.
1010
00:54:28,900 --> 00:54:30,835
- Yeah, so he shoots...
- He shoots from his left side.
1011
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:32,215
Exactly. He's diagonal.
1012
00:54:32,300 --> 00:54:35,055
Which means all the spent
cartridges burn his arm.
1013
00:54:35,140 --> 00:54:37,395
- Exactly.
- Well, he'll be using a pistol, won't he?
1014
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:40,095
- He always uses a pistol.
- Yes.
1015
00:54:40,180 --> 00:54:42,875
Actually,
I wasn't using a pistol.
1016
00:54:45,140 --> 00:54:46,875
That's what I've got!
1017
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:48,415
A .50 cal!
1018
00:54:48,500 --> 00:54:50,435
Lock and load!
1019
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:51,575
Yes!
1020
00:54:51,660 --> 00:54:55,275
Barn door, barn door,
coming into view!
1021
00:55:02,540 --> 00:55:05,055
Oh! Argh! I may have...
I've missed... What?
1022
00:55:05,140 --> 00:55:07,835
Yeah, I've missed the door,
uh... there, badly.
1023
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:10,135
Searching for targets.
1024
00:55:10,220 --> 00:55:11,835
There's a bus
round here somewhere.
1025
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:13,635
There it is.
1026
00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:15,835
Ah, I can't get on it.
I can't get on it.
1027
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:18,775
I can't get on the bus!
Opening fire!
1028
00:55:20,300 --> 00:55:21,935
Oh!
1029
00:55:22,020 --> 00:55:25,135
Ah, I think I hit that...
Ah, I've done that wrong!
1030
00:55:25,220 --> 00:55:27,995
Men on the bridge! Lock
and load! I said it again!
1031
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:29,975
Die!
1032
00:55:48,660 --> 00:55:52,095
I may be... I'm getting a bit...
It's the leaf springs.
1033
00:55:52,180 --> 00:55:55,115
Bad mark for Volkswagen
there, this jigglyness.
1034
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:57,435
Right, here we go. Men.
1035
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,460
Die!
1036
00:56:01,900 --> 00:56:03,615
Die!
1037
00:56:03,700 --> 00:56:07,095
Oh, God.
1038
00:56:07,180 --> 00:56:09,875
After this,
I got a bit carried away.
1039
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:16,215
Die!
1040
00:56:23,180 --> 00:56:24,495
Up! Oh, God.
1041
00:56:24,580 --> 00:56:27,235
I'm gonna be in trouble
for that one.
1042
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:30,115
I've done that
very wrong there, look.
1043
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:34,015
I've just noticed something.
It's got sights!
1044
00:56:34,100 --> 00:56:36,695
It's not just guesswork.
That's useful.
1045
00:56:37,460 --> 00:56:40,635
Right, barn door.
Here we go.
1046
00:57:11,180 --> 00:57:12,775
Yes!
1047
00:57:12,860 --> 00:57:14,235
- What?
- Another victory!
1048
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:15,875
How do you work that out?
1049
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,455
I hate to tell you this,
1050
00:57:17,540 --> 00:57:18,995
but you haven't hit the doors,
which was the target.
1051
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:20,795
How do you know
I haven't hit the doors?
1052
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:23,615
Because there's no...
1053
00:57:28,420 --> 00:57:31,315
Well, on that terrible
disappointment for him...
1054
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:33,475
time to go back to the tent.
1055
00:57:37,100 --> 00:57:39,215
No! No, no, no!
1056
00:57:39,940 --> 00:57:42,115
Don't... Don't clap!
Don't clap!
1057
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:43,615
He killed a man!
1058
00:57:43,700 --> 00:57:46,095
You jammed an AK-47!
1059
00:57:46,180 --> 00:57:48,015
- Well...
- It's famously un-jammable!
1060
00:57:48,100 --> 00:57:50,875
No one in history has ever
jammed one till you came along!
1061
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:52,455
Yes, it overheated!
1062
00:57:52,540 --> 00:57:54,875
That's cos you were
firing it into the air
1063
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:56,975
pointlessly
when you set off!
1064
00:57:57,060 --> 00:57:58,475
That's what they're for!
1065
00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:00,655
Weddings, funerals,
exam results -
1066
00:58:00,740 --> 00:58:02,875
you go outside,
fire your AK in the air!
1067
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:04,495
It's a joyous thing!
1068
00:58:04,580 --> 00:58:07,075
They are the party popper
of the developing world!
1069
00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:11,735
Never mind all that.
1070
00:58:11,820 --> 00:58:14,235
- I have the scores. The final scores.
- This is the important bit.
1071
00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:17,915
Jeremy Clarkson,
you fired 2,600 rounds.
1072
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,175
Mm-hm.
1073
00:58:19,260 --> 00:58:22,635
And the number of targets
you hit... was one.
1074
00:58:24,340 --> 00:58:26,775
You laugh,
but it's one more than him!
1075
00:58:26,860 --> 00:58:29,315
- Uh... it is.
- It is one more than you, so I'm winning!
1076
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:32,375
Wait, so hang on, it all boils
down to how many targets I hit.
1077
00:58:32,460 --> 00:58:34,835
- Yes, but you had a roll bar to hang onto.
- I did.
1078
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:36,555
Yeah, he did.
And he scored...
1079
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:37,895
Yes?
1080
00:58:37,980 --> 00:58:39,175
Nought.
1081
00:58:39,260 --> 00:58:40,915
He really got nothing?
1082
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:42,975
- Yep.
- OK, so after all of that,
1083
00:58:43,060 --> 00:58:44,935
what is our conclusion,
gentlemen?
1084
00:58:45,020 --> 00:58:46,815
- Can we do a sensible one?
- Yeah.
1085
00:58:46,900 --> 00:58:48,955
See, the thing is, that
Mercedes Nissan you had,
1086
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:50,615
it did have
a wobbly back end,
1087
00:58:50,700 --> 00:58:52,515
and I just don't think
that's good enough, actually,
1088
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:54,115
in a pick-up truck,
I really don't.
1089
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:56,215
The Volkswagen is very good,
1090
00:58:56,300 --> 00:58:59,775
but pick-up trucks are working
tools, and it's just a bit too posh.
1091
00:58:59,860 --> 00:59:03,035
You wouldn't want to get into it in muddy
boots. I don't think that will work.
1092
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:04,875
So, it's the Ford, then?
It's the cheapest.
1093
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:07,275
It is the cheapest. And it's,
I think, the best-looking.
1094
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:09,155
And it is actually
the one I'd have.
1095
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:10,775
- You'd have the Ford?
- Yeah.
1096
00:59:10,860 --> 00:59:12,515
- And you'd have the Ford?
- We'd both have the Ford.
1097
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:14,115
James, what would you have?
1098
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,055
I wouldn't have
a pick-up truck.
1099
00:59:16,140 --> 00:59:18,375
- Yes,
I know, but in this test
1100
00:59:18,460 --> 00:59:20,155
of pick-up trucks,
which one would you have?
1101
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:21,935
None of them.
I wouldn't have one.
1102
00:59:22,020 --> 00:59:23,875
Yeah, I know!
But we're testing pick-ups,
1103
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,435
so which pick-up truck of
the three would you have?
1104
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:28,775
I wouldn't have
a pick-up truck.
1105
00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:31,115
You've just spent 20 minutes
reviewing these pick-up trucks.
1106
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:34,135
The ladies and gentlemen would
like to know which is the best?
1107
00:59:34,220 --> 00:59:36,595
I've come to a conclusion, on
behalf of the ladies and gentlemen,
1108
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:38,435
which is
don't have a pick-up truck.
1109
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:41,075
James! You have
a powerful imagination!
1110
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:42,895
Use it! Let's pretend!
1111
00:59:42,980 --> 00:59:44,435
OK, come with me
on a journey.
1112
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:46,595
We'll warm
your imagination up.
1113
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:49,535
- Imagine you're an eagle.
- OK.
1114
00:59:49,620 --> 00:59:51,695
Visualise that you're
flying over mountains.
1115
00:59:51,780 --> 00:59:54,155
Can you feel it? Can you feel
the wind in your feathers?
1116
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:55,755
- Mmm.
- It's beautiful, isn't it?
1117
00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:57,175
- Yeah.
- OK, now
1118
00:59:57,261 --> 00:59:58,975
imagine you've
got a pick-up truck.
1119
00:59:59,060 --> 00:59:59,903
Which one is it?
1120
00:59:59,989 --> 01:00:01,355
Why would an eagle
have a pick-up truck?
1121
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,455
No! No!
1122
01:00:03,540 --> 01:00:05,395
I mean, imagine...
OK, let's try...
1123
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:09,455
OK, imagine, James May, a pastoral scene.
Have you got it?
1124
01:00:09,540 --> 01:00:11,895
There's, like,
rolling, grassy hills,
1125
01:00:11,980 --> 01:00:13,575
a few sheep around -
you're a farmer.
1126
01:00:13,660 --> 01:00:15,035
You're walking round
with your dog
1127
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:16,895
at your heel there,
sheep all around you.
1128
01:00:16,980 --> 01:00:18,275
Can I have Beethoven playing?
1129
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,635
Beethoven is playing,
obviously, live.
1130
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:23,575
There's an old
five-bar gate there.
1131
01:00:23,660 --> 01:00:25,775
An old oak tree
arches over the gate.
1132
01:00:25,860 --> 01:00:28,395
And under the oak tree is
your farmer's pick-up truck.
1133
01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:31,135
- Which one is it?
- It's not there.
1134
01:00:31,220 --> 01:00:33,615
I wouldn't have it, because I
wouldn't have a pick-up truck.
1135
01:00:33,700 --> 01:00:35,675
Neither should anybody else.
You shouldn't have one.
1136
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,175
Even in your imagination...
1137
01:00:37,260 --> 01:00:39,455
My imagination does not
admit a pick-up truck.
1138
01:00:39,540 --> 01:00:41,675
- I'm not being stubborn. I know my mind.
- Yes.
1139
01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:43,515
And I don't want
a pick-up truck.
1140
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:47,095
What I know is that
you've wasted so much time
1141
01:00:47,180 --> 01:00:48,695
not choosing a pick-up truck,
1142
01:00:48,780 --> 01:00:51,075
and claiming that the Battle
of Britain was a draw,
1143
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:54,315
that we don't have time
for the big celebrity duel
1144
01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:58,395
between... Adrian Chiles and
Howard from the Halifax ads.
1145
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:00,815
- Oh, no!
- Exactly!
1146
01:01:00,900 --> 01:01:03,415
And on that terrible
disappointment, we must end.
1147
01:01:03,500 --> 01:01:05,555
Thank you so much
for watching. Good night!
89729
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