Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,364 --> 00:00:04,330
Ooh, it's freezing
out here.
2
00:00:04,399 --> 00:00:06,666
Would you like me to...
heat things up?
3
00:00:06,735 --> 00:00:09,903
No, I want to get in the hot tub
before I lose a toe.
4
00:00:10,839 --> 00:00:13,139
Oh. That is bright!
5
00:00:13,208 --> 00:00:15,608
Yeah, a new neighbor
put in floodlights.
6
00:00:15,677 --> 00:00:17,077
Huh.
7
00:00:17,145 --> 00:00:18,678
So, shall we?
8
00:00:18,747 --> 00:00:20,580
No. I don't want
9
00:00:20,649 --> 00:00:22,982
to take my robe off
under a spotlight.
10
00:00:23,051 --> 00:00:25,485
This is a candle body.
11
00:00:25,554 --> 00:00:26,820
Howdy, neighbors!
12
00:00:26,888 --> 00:00:29,122
We haven't met
yet. I'm Andy.
13
00:00:29,191 --> 00:00:31,157
Oh. Hello.
Nice to meet you.
14
00:00:31,226 --> 00:00:35,228
You know, your new balcony kind
of looks right over our fence.
15
00:00:35,297 --> 00:00:38,531
You might want to put up some
trees. We can see everything.
16
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,535
You can, but it's okay
if you don't.
17
00:00:44,206 --> 00:00:46,372
So, can you turn
your lights off?
18
00:00:46,441 --> 00:00:47,807
Sorry, they're
motion-sensored.
19
00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:50,810
They'll go off in a minute.
Just try to stay still.
20
00:00:52,214 --> 00:00:54,581
What are we gonna
do about this?
21
00:00:54,649 --> 00:00:56,883
I say we wait until
his lights go off,
22
00:00:56,952 --> 00:01:00,987
and then I make hot,
motionless love to you.
23
00:01:03,658 --> 00:01:06,062
Don't move.
It's go time.
24
00:01:06,097 --> 00:01:09,597
♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x14 ♪
The Meteorite Manifestation
Original Air
25
00:01:09,598 --> 00:01:13,032
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
26
00:01:13,101 --> 00:01:16,503
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
27
00:01:16,571 --> 00:01:18,104
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
28
00:01:18,173 --> 00:01:20,940
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
29
00:01:21,009 --> 00:01:22,820
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
30
00:01:22,844 --> 00:01:25,678
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
31
00:01:25,747 --> 00:01:27,881
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
32
00:01:27,949 --> 00:01:29,349
♪ Bang! ♪
33
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,350
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
34
00:01:34,999 --> 00:01:37,499
And his new balcony looks
right down on our hot tub,
35
00:01:37,568 --> 00:01:39,868
which meant we
couldn't do anything.
36
00:01:39,937 --> 00:01:43,772
So you gave your kids
Benadryl for nothing?
37
00:01:45,476 --> 00:01:48,977
Why do I share with you?
You're such a yenta.
38
00:01:49,046 --> 00:01:50,345
Are we done talking about
39
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,080
Howard's failed
conjugal relations?
40
00:01:52,149 --> 00:01:54,416
I have an actual
Nobel Prize crisis to deal with.
41
00:01:54,518 --> 00:01:56,730
Has anything changed since the
last time you talked about it?
42
00:01:56,754 --> 00:01:57,217
No.
43
00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:58,154
Is there anything
you can do about it?
44
00:01:58,155 --> 00:01:58,761
No.
45
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,914
Then shut up
or go wait in the car!
46
00:02:01,492 --> 00:02:02,557
Excuse me.
47
00:02:02,626 --> 00:02:04,126
Remember you all came here
48
00:02:04,194 --> 00:02:06,194
to check out
my cool new laser?
49
00:02:06,263 --> 00:02:08,997
Oh, right. I'm gonna go
wait in the car.
50
00:02:09,066 --> 00:02:12,200
The best part is that
it's europium-based, so...
51
00:02:12,269 --> 00:02:13,747
And then Andy said
if we want privacy,
52
00:02:13,771 --> 00:02:16,271
we should plant
some trees.
53
00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:19,274
The only way I know how to
do that is to give a dollar
54
00:02:19,343 --> 00:02:21,943
and tree shows
up in Israel.
55
00:02:22,012 --> 00:02:25,013
Okay. Anyway, so because
it's europium-based...
56
00:02:25,082 --> 00:02:27,349
Hey. I need some help
with a meteorite I found.
57
00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:28,917
Ah. I'd be happy to.
58
00:02:28,986 --> 00:02:30,218
Oh, no, I meant Raj.
59
00:02:30,287 --> 00:02:32,287
I really need an astrophysicist.
60
00:02:32,356 --> 00:02:33,288
Wow.
61
00:02:33,357 --> 00:02:35,123
This is exactly like
a dream I had.
62
00:02:35,192 --> 00:02:38,760
Except in the dream,
you're Gal Gadot.
63
00:02:38,829 --> 00:02:43,432
I don't really have dreams,
when I sleep or in life.
64
00:02:45,035 --> 00:02:46,435
Anyway...
65
00:02:46,503 --> 00:02:48,503
I X-rayed this meteorite,
and it looks like there's
66
00:02:48,539 --> 00:02:50,505
some sort of organic signature
inside of it,
67
00:02:50,574 --> 00:02:52,372
but I could really use
another opinion.
68
00:02:52,396 --> 00:02:53,517
Well, great.
Let's go check it out.
69
00:02:53,518 --> 00:02:54,743
Cool.
70
00:02:54,812 --> 00:02:56,478
I'm gonna stay here
and show Howard...
71
00:02:56,547 --> 00:02:58,313
I want to see it!
72
00:02:58,382 --> 00:03:02,317
Okay. Well, thanks for
stopping by.
73
00:03:06,090 --> 00:03:08,590
Screw them. That's cool.
74
00:03:10,027 --> 00:03:12,561
Hey, I'm not sure
we're in the right line.
75
00:03:12,629 --> 00:03:14,763
- Is this for the city zoning office?
- Yes, it is.
76
00:03:14,832 --> 00:03:17,499
Or, as we call it here,
"the zone zone."
77
00:03:20,237 --> 00:03:22,637
No, we don't.
78
00:03:22,706 --> 00:03:24,272
That's Linda.
79
00:03:24,341 --> 00:03:27,709
Ignore her.
She's going through the change.
80
00:03:27,778 --> 00:03:29,911
Now, how can I help you?
81
00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:31,324
Our neighbor built
a balcony that looks
82
00:03:31,348 --> 00:03:33,059
right into our backyard,
and we're trying to see
83
00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:34,594
if there's anything
we can do about it.
84
00:03:34,618 --> 00:03:36,551
Well, you have come
to the right place.
85
00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:38,898
You know, a lot of people handle
this type of thing online,
86
00:03:38,922 --> 00:03:41,423
but I always say
nothing beats the human touch.
87
00:03:41,492 --> 00:03:42,692
Oh, but don't worry.
88
00:03:42,726 --> 00:03:44,526
I'm not gonna
actually touch you.
89
00:03:44,595 --> 00:03:48,130
We had quite the informative
meeting on that.
90
00:03:48,198 --> 00:03:51,066
We just want a little
privacy in our backyard.
91
00:03:51,135 --> 00:03:53,902
You know, for...
92
00:03:55,372 --> 00:03:58,206
Maybe we should've
done this online.
93
00:03:58,275 --> 00:04:00,909
No, no, no, no.
The zone zone is a safe zone.
94
00:04:00,978 --> 00:04:04,179
Stop saying "zone zone"!
95
00:04:04,248 --> 00:04:06,214
So, is there anything we can do?
96
00:04:06,283 --> 00:04:09,117
Absolutely. Do you know if they
have permits for the balcony?
97
00:04:09,186 --> 00:04:11,186
Oh, no. We were hoping
you could check.
98
00:04:11,255 --> 00:04:13,233
I certainly can. I just
need you to fill out a form,
99
00:04:13,257 --> 00:04:15,423
and we have them available
in Armenian, Chinese,
100
00:04:15,492 --> 00:04:19,528
Cambodian, English, Farsi,
Korean, Spanish and Vietnamese.
101
00:04:20,931 --> 00:04:23,398
Well, English, obviously.
102
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:25,267
Well, we're not
allowed to presume.
103
00:04:25,335 --> 00:04:28,236
That was a whole other meeting.
104
00:04:28,305 --> 00:04:30,772
So we just fill out
the form and that's it?
105
00:04:30,841 --> 00:04:33,809
Oh, no. No, you need to
fill it out, and then you need
106
00:04:33,877 --> 00:04:36,244
to bring it down to
the Office of Code Compliance.
107
00:04:36,313 --> 00:04:38,880
Now, if your neighbors don't
have a permit, you can file
108
00:04:38,949 --> 00:04:41,016
an official complaint,
but if they do have a permit,
109
00:04:41,084 --> 00:04:43,363
then you have to make the case
that the balcony constitutes
110
00:04:43,387 --> 00:04:46,254
a nuisance, an encumbrance
or an encroachment,
111
00:04:46,323 --> 00:04:47,656
and you have to decide which,
112
00:04:47,724 --> 00:04:49,791
because they are three
totally separate forms.
113
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:53,695
This is starting to seem like
more trouble than it's worth.
114
00:04:53,764 --> 00:04:55,463
I know, right?
115
00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:02,237
- You okay?
- Yeah.
116
00:05:02,306 --> 00:05:05,807
Great, 'cause you just bought
that whole row of Batmans.
117
00:05:05,876 --> 00:05:07,509
Sorry, I...
118
00:05:10,814 --> 00:05:13,315
And now you bought Aquaman.
Good choice.
119
00:05:14,685 --> 00:05:15,984
If you want cold medicine,
120
00:05:16,053 --> 00:05:17,986
Stuart has the entire run
of DayQuils,
121
00:05:18,055 --> 00:05:21,323
including the rare
"DayQuilt" misprint from 1996.
122
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:25,193
What can I say?
I'm a collector.
123
00:05:25,262 --> 00:05:27,829
Thanks, but I'm fine.
I think it's just allergies.
124
00:05:27,898 --> 00:05:28,942
- Hi, guys. - Hey.
- Hey.
125
00:05:28,966 --> 00:05:30,198
Oh, heads up.
126
00:05:30,267 --> 00:05:32,367
If that Aquaman feels wet,
it's not a gimmick.
127
00:05:32,436 --> 00:05:34,002
Leonard sneezed on it.
128
00:05:35,892 --> 00:05:37,578
- You sick?
- Uh, it's just allergies.
129
00:05:37,579 --> 00:05:38,707
Oh. So, check it out.
130
00:05:38,775 --> 00:05:41,243
This meteorite that Bert found
is really cool.
131
00:05:41,311 --> 00:05:43,245
We did a spectrographic
analysis, and there's...
132
00:05:43,313 --> 00:05:45,480
there's definitely something
going on inside.
133
00:05:45,549 --> 00:05:47,415
Well, y, i-if you want,
134
00:05:47,484 --> 00:05:49,684
we could use my new laser
to cut it open.
135
00:05:49,753 --> 00:05:51,953
Well, thanks, but Bert's
got this water-cooled,
136
00:05:52,022 --> 00:05:53,488
diamond-bladed saw.
137
00:05:53,557 --> 00:05:56,558
Well, sure, but with my laser,
you'd get a thinner slice,
138
00:05:56,627 --> 00:05:58,573
which would make for
a better sample.
139
00:05:58,597 --> 00:05:59,295
Whoa, whoa.
140
00:05:59,296 --> 00:06:02,097
You're not gonna cut
open a meteor, are you?
141
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,034
Have you not learned anything
from comic books?
142
00:06:07,304 --> 00:06:10,739
Space viruses?
Pod people?
143
00:06:10,807 --> 00:06:13,208
I sell nothing
but warnings.
144
00:06:14,478 --> 00:06:15,877
C-Calm down, Stuart.
145
00:06:15,946 --> 00:06:17,579
You're being a little crazy.
146
00:06:17,648 --> 00:06:19,314
Oh, is he?
Is he being crazy?
147
00:06:19,383 --> 00:06:22,684
Or is he the only one around
here who's making any sense?
148
00:06:24,254 --> 00:06:28,089
It's nice they
found each other.
149
00:06:28,158 --> 00:06:30,992
Yeah. Uh, so, anyway,
you want to use my laser?
150
00:06:31,061 --> 00:06:32,694
Eh, sorry.
It's kind of Bert's thing,
151
00:06:32,763 --> 00:06:34,663
and he wants to do it
his way, so...
152
00:06:34,731 --> 00:06:35,931
Okay.
153
00:06:35,999 --> 00:06:37,899
Yeah, that's cool.
154
00:06:37,968 --> 00:06:40,468
Just seems dumb
to not use the laser.
155
00:06:40,537 --> 00:06:44,105
Not as dumb as
unleashing a plague on mankind,
156
00:06:44,174 --> 00:06:46,441
but, hey, what do we know?
157
00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:48,777
Literally nothing.
158
00:06:51,982 --> 00:06:55,450
We spent half the day down
at the city planning office,
159
00:06:55,519 --> 00:06:56,651
and didn't solve a thing.
160
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,286
Now we have to go
back tomorrow.
161
00:06:58,355 --> 00:07:01,389
The planning office?
You lucky ducks.
162
00:07:01,458 --> 00:07:03,558
Yeah, this one made
me go for ice cream
163
00:07:03,627 --> 00:07:05,293
and talk about her day.
164
00:07:05,362 --> 00:07:07,963
Spoiler alert:
it was fine.
165
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:12,500
It wasn't fine.
I got trapped in an elevator.
166
00:07:12,569 --> 00:07:14,536
I may have missed a few details.
167
00:07:14,604 --> 00:07:17,772
The bottom of my cone
was drippy.
168
00:07:17,841 --> 00:07:21,185
So now we have to download
all these forms and fill them out.
169
00:07:21,186 --> 00:07:21,476
We get it.
170
00:07:21,545 --> 00:07:24,779
Your life is great.
Stop rubbing it in.
171
00:07:24,848 --> 00:07:26,848
Yeah, quit it.
172
00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:29,150
Is one of the forms
173
00:07:29,219 --> 00:07:30,952
the 599B/C?
174
00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:33,588
Because, if so, it has
a doozy of a typo.
175
00:07:33,657 --> 00:07:34,889
I don't know.
176
00:07:34,958 --> 00:07:36,838
All right, well, I don't
want to spoil anything,
177
00:07:36,893 --> 00:07:40,195
but you might want to start
practicing your "siglature."
178
00:07:42,566 --> 00:07:44,444
Sheldon, if you like this
stuff, why don't you come
179
00:07:44,468 --> 00:07:46,167
and do it with us?
- Or instead of us?
180
00:07:46,236 --> 00:07:47,769
Do you mean it?
181
00:07:47,838 --> 00:07:50,739
No, no, wait, it's too late.
You can't take it back. Yes.
182
00:07:52,109 --> 00:07:53,386
Well, Amy,
looks like the elevator
183
00:07:53,410 --> 00:07:55,310
might have been
the high point of your day.
184
00:07:56,313 --> 00:07:58,079
Hey, where's Raj?
185
00:07:58,148 --> 00:07:59,481
Uh, he's working with Bert.
186
00:07:59,549 --> 00:08:01,916
They're probably cutting
their stupid meteorite open
187
00:08:01,985 --> 00:08:04,052
with their stupid
diamond saw.
188
00:08:05,589 --> 00:08:06,888
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
189
00:08:06,957 --> 00:08:08,089
I'm just a little run-down.
190
00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:09,424
It might be a head cold.
191
00:08:12,396 --> 00:08:14,229
Purell.
192
00:08:15,265 --> 00:08:16,598
Purell.
193
00:08:17,634 --> 00:08:19,434
Purell.
194
00:08:19,503 --> 00:08:21,536
Purell.
195
00:08:23,607 --> 00:08:25,573
Can I top anybody off?
196
00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:30,812
It's just so frustrating.
197
00:08:30,881 --> 00:08:33,448
I-I know my laser would be
way more efficient.
198
00:08:33,517 --> 00:08:36,584
They're gonna lose so much
meteorite due to kerf loss.
199
00:08:36,653 --> 00:08:41,423
Mm. I'm sorry your friends won't
let you play kerf with them.
200
00:08:41,491 --> 00:08:44,059
Don't make it sound childish.
201
00:08:44,127 --> 00:08:46,161
It's the scientific word
for dust.
202
00:08:46,229 --> 00:08:48,063
What was wrong with "dust"?
203
00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:52,333
Are you sure you're
not just a little jealous?
204
00:08:52,402 --> 00:08:55,670
No. It's just, my way is better,
but they won't even consider it.
205
00:08:55,739 --> 00:08:57,583
Oh, well, it's their loss.
Look, why don't you go to bed.
206
00:08:57,607 --> 00:08:58,789
I'll run out and get
you some medicine.
207
00:08:58,813 --> 00:08:59,442
Ah, it's okay.
208
00:08:59,443 --> 00:09:02,143
Stuart gave me some when
I was at the comic book store.
209
00:09:02,212 --> 00:09:05,647
Really? You're taking medicine
from Stuart?
210
00:09:05,715 --> 00:09:08,616
Doesn't he need,
like, all of it?
211
00:09:08,685 --> 00:09:10,285
Mm, he's got plenty.
212
00:09:10,353 --> 00:09:13,688
His pill caddy is,
like, this big.
213
00:09:13,757 --> 00:09:15,268
All right, well,
why don't you go to bed.
214
00:09:15,292 --> 00:09:16,591
I'll sleep out here
on the couch.
215
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:18,237
No, no, no, you take the bed.
I'll stay out here.
216
00:09:18,261 --> 00:09:20,195
Even better.
Sweet dreams, snot bag.
217
00:09:25,469 --> 00:09:27,235
See what
I'm talking about?
218
00:09:27,304 --> 00:09:28,770
Oh, yes.
219
00:09:28,839 --> 00:09:30,872
Oh, that is
textbook encroachment.
220
00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:33,775
And I know
because I have the textbook.
221
00:09:33,844 --> 00:09:36,878
First edition.
222
00:09:36,947 --> 00:09:38,880
Watch what happens
when you move.
223
00:09:39,983 --> 00:09:41,082
Oh!
224
00:09:41,151 --> 00:09:43,218
Oh, boy, you weren't kidding.
225
00:09:43,286 --> 00:09:46,621
Oh, those are 10,000
lumens if they're a lumen.
226
00:09:46,690 --> 00:09:48,256
Well, you know
what they say:
227
00:09:48,325 --> 00:09:51,926
when life give you lumens,
make lumen-Ade.
228
00:09:51,995 --> 00:09:53,528
Was that a joke?
229
00:09:53,597 --> 00:09:55,296
Yes.
230
00:09:55,365 --> 00:09:58,600
Based on the premise that
"lumen" sounds like "lemon"?
231
00:09:58,668 --> 00:10:01,803
Yes.
232
00:10:01,872 --> 00:10:03,271
That's hilarious.
233
00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:06,975
Okay, what is the setback
on property lines
234
00:10:07,043 --> 00:10:08,243
in this neighborhood?
235
00:10:08,311 --> 00:10:09,744
Oh, I don't know.
236
00:10:09,813 --> 00:10:12,380
It must be on the permit
from when you built your deck.
237
00:10:12,449 --> 00:10:13,915
Uh, yeah,
my dad built this.
238
00:10:13,984 --> 00:10:15,384
We didn't do
the whole permit thing.
239
00:10:18,121 --> 00:10:19,654
Here we go.
240
00:10:19,723 --> 00:10:21,489
Are you saying
241
00:10:21,558 --> 00:10:24,192
I'm standing
on an unpermitted deck?
242
00:10:24,261 --> 00:10:27,061
It's been here for years,
Sheldon. It's fine.
243
00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:28,563
How did the inspector
not flag this
244
00:10:28,632 --> 00:10:30,343
when he came to check out
your bathroom renovation?
245
00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:31,199
Uh...
246
00:10:34,271 --> 00:10:36,137
Are you telling me
that I have showered
247
00:10:36,206 --> 00:10:37,839
in an uninspected bathroom?
248
00:10:37,908 --> 00:10:39,574
You showered
in our house?
249
00:10:39,643 --> 00:10:42,043
You made me hold your children.
What did you expect me to do?
250
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:55,252
You think
you know people.
251
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,621
You do know
them, Sheldon.
252
00:10:57,689 --> 00:11:00,056
Yeah, but-but do we?
Do we really know them?
253
00:11:01,968 --> 00:11:03,026
Yes!
254
00:11:04,156 --> 00:11:05,627
They're rule breakers, Amy.
255
00:11:05,628 --> 00:11:07,394
And you know what we do
with rule breakers?
256
00:11:07,463 --> 00:11:09,263
Complain about them
to our spouse
257
00:11:09,332 --> 00:11:11,665
until she's ready to drive
into oncoming traffic?
258
00:11:12,145 --> 00:11:14,234
You can't cross
a double yellow line.
259
00:11:14,303 --> 00:11:16,136
What is this, the Purge?
260
00:11:16,205 --> 00:11:18,339
So, I guess
you're not gonna help them?
261
00:11:18,407 --> 00:11:19,506
Oh, I'm gonna help them--
262
00:11:19,575 --> 00:11:22,476
help them get on the right side
of Johnny Law.
263
00:11:22,545 --> 00:11:24,211
Oh, you can't
turn them in.
264
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,746
The city's gonna
make them rip out
265
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,681
all the work they've
done and do it over.
266
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:29,416
It would be the end
of your friendship.
267
00:11:29,485 --> 00:11:31,418
What choice do I have?
These are the rules.
268
00:11:31,487 --> 00:11:33,487
Sheldon, I am begging you.
Please, don't do this.
269
00:11:33,556 --> 00:11:37,191
You know who doesn't get permits
for their decks? Animals.
270
00:11:37,259 --> 00:11:39,793
Animals don't have decks.
271
00:11:39,862 --> 00:11:42,696
Oh, really? I have
one word for you: beavers.
272
00:11:48,904 --> 00:11:50,838
Bert?
273
00:11:50,906 --> 00:11:53,207
Raj?
274
00:11:53,275 --> 00:11:55,209
Huh.
275
00:11:59,048 --> 00:12:00,448
Can't believe
they're gonna cut that
276
00:12:00,516 --> 00:12:03,450
with this punk-ass diamond saw.
277
00:12:08,958 --> 00:12:10,891
Geez.
278
00:12:22,905 --> 00:12:24,505
Oh, hey, look.
279
00:12:24,573 --> 00:12:27,241
"Siglature."
280
00:12:29,512 --> 00:12:30,744
- Next!
- Hello.
281
00:12:30,813 --> 00:12:34,448
Hi! Welcome to the zone zone.
282
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:36,450
Oh, that's funny!
283
00:12:36,519 --> 00:12:39,887
Hey, I also have
a joke for you.
284
00:12:39,955 --> 00:12:41,955
Lumen-Ade.
285
00:12:43,659 --> 00:12:45,692
Maybe I told it wrong.
286
00:12:45,761 --> 00:12:47,294
Well, how can I help you?
287
00:12:47,363 --> 00:12:49,797
If I know someone in violation
of the building code,
288
00:12:49,865 --> 00:12:51,365
should I turn them in?
289
00:12:51,434 --> 00:12:52,766
Interesting question.
290
00:12:52,835 --> 00:12:54,835
Yeah, I know. Because,
on the one hand,
291
00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:57,304
Confucius says we owe
a greater responsibility
292
00:12:57,373 --> 00:13:00,574
to people we're close with
rather than to society at large.
293
00:13:00,643 --> 00:13:02,576
But, on the other hand,
Socrates says that
294
00:13:02,645 --> 00:13:05,779
we're obligated to obey
all laws, even unjust ones.
295
00:13:05,848 --> 00:13:07,626
And then, furthermore,
if we're entertaining rules
296
00:13:07,650 --> 00:13:09,316
about when it's okay
to break the rules,
297
00:13:09,385 --> 00:13:11,151
I should--
where does it end?
298
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:14,421
Well, for me, it ends at 5:00.
299
00:13:16,292 --> 00:13:18,892
Well, I just-- I don't
know what to do.
300
00:13:18,961 --> 00:13:20,705
All I can tell you
is that the building codes
301
00:13:20,729 --> 00:13:22,162
are there for everyone's safety.
302
00:13:22,231 --> 00:13:24,965
Oh, so you're saying I have
no choice but to turn them in.
303
00:13:25,034 --> 00:13:27,468
I did not say that.
304
00:13:27,536 --> 00:13:28,936
But would you?
305
00:13:29,004 --> 00:13:32,739
And remember that I laughed
at your "zone zone" joke.
306
00:13:32,808 --> 00:13:34,741
It's not even a joke!
307
00:13:34,810 --> 00:13:36,743
Oh, is that Linda back there?
308
00:13:36,812 --> 00:13:38,278
- Yeah.
- Aw.
309
00:13:38,347 --> 00:13:40,347
How are her hot
flashes? Any better?
310
00:13:44,086 --> 00:13:45,686
Leonard,
what are you doing?!
311
00:13:45,754 --> 00:13:48,655
Showing you that this
is the better way.
312
00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:51,325
Stop! Whatever's
inside there is dangerous!
313
00:13:54,897 --> 00:13:56,697
Oh.
314
00:13:56,765 --> 00:13:59,633
And pretty.
315
00:14:01,871 --> 00:14:03,470
What is that?
316
00:14:05,074 --> 00:14:07,508
Are you okay?
317
00:14:07,576 --> 00:14:11,178
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just feeling a little...
318
00:14:14,884 --> 00:14:17,518
...hungry.
319
00:14:19,355 --> 00:14:21,588
Stop eating Bert!
320
00:14:25,027 --> 00:14:26,226
Keep eating Bert!
321
00:14:29,465 --> 00:14:30,397
Leonard.
322
00:14:30,466 --> 00:14:31,665
Leonard!
What? What?
323
00:14:31,734 --> 00:14:33,167
You're having a bad dream.
324
00:14:33,235 --> 00:14:35,068
Oh, thank God.
325
00:14:35,137 --> 00:14:36,603
I was eating my friends.
326
00:14:36,672 --> 00:14:38,739
Well, one friend
and one acquaintance.
327
00:14:38,807 --> 00:14:42,142
You know what, Bert's okay.
Two friends.
328
00:14:42,211 --> 00:14:44,144
Let me see
if you're running a fever.
329
00:14:44,213 --> 00:14:45,145
Yeah.
330
00:14:45,214 --> 00:14:47,181
Oh, yeah,
you're burning up.
331
00:14:52,388 --> 00:14:53,820
Geez!
332
00:14:53,889 --> 00:14:54,889
Are you okay?
333
00:14:54,957 --> 00:14:56,089
That depends.
334
00:14:56,158 --> 00:14:57,824
What-what color are my eyes?
335
00:14:57,893 --> 00:14:59,092
I don't know, brown?
336
00:14:59,161 --> 00:15:01,728
No, green. No, wait, brown.
337
00:15:01,797 --> 00:15:05,232
Oh, good, I'm awake.
338
00:15:06,702 --> 00:15:08,869
Howie, someone's here
to see you.
339
00:15:08,938 --> 00:15:10,337
Hello.
340
00:15:10,406 --> 00:15:12,673
Hey. What's going on?
341
00:15:12,741 --> 00:15:15,042
Can you come
over here?
342
00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:18,345
Sheldon, the deck is safe.
You can walk on it.
343
00:15:24,954 --> 00:15:27,287
Oh, that gets the heart going.
Mm.
344
00:15:27,356 --> 00:15:29,223
So, what's up?
345
00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:31,291
I went down to the city
Code Compliance Office
346
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,292
to turn you in.
347
00:15:32,361 --> 00:15:33,727
Are you kidding?
348
00:15:33,796 --> 00:15:34,728
But I didn't do it.
349
00:15:34,797 --> 00:15:37,231
I filled out the form
and then realized
350
00:15:37,299 --> 00:15:39,233
that the unwritten rules
of friendship
351
00:15:39,301 --> 00:15:41,635
are more important
than the written rules
352
00:15:41,704 --> 00:15:44,571
of the city of Altadena's
Zoning and Planning Department.
353
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,139
Aw.
354
00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,609
Really? "Aw"?
355
00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:50,911
And you'll be happy to know
that, while I was there,
356
00:15:50,980 --> 00:15:52,457
I did look into
your neighbor's balcony,
357
00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:54,414
and it is encroaching
on your property line.
358
00:15:54,483 --> 00:15:56,350
I had all this pent-up
snitch energy,
359
00:15:56,418 --> 00:15:58,719
so I reported him hard.
360
00:15:58,787 --> 00:15:59,787
What did they say?
361
00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:01,255
He's going
to have to remove it.
362
00:16:01,323 --> 00:16:03,156
So the good guys win?
363
00:16:03,225 --> 00:16:05,525
Well, I don't know
if I'd call you the good guys.
364
00:16:05,594 --> 00:16:06,893
You're enforcing a law on him
365
00:16:06,962 --> 00:16:08,729
that you're willfully ignoring
yourselves.
366
00:16:08,797 --> 00:16:09,797
Uh, all right, fine.
367
00:16:09,865 --> 00:16:12,432
So the morally
compromised guys win.
368
00:16:12,501 --> 00:16:13,767
Apparently so.
369
00:16:13,836 --> 00:16:15,847
Now, if one of you'd be
kind enough to take me home,
370
00:16:15,871 --> 00:16:16,970
I need to use my bathroom.
371
00:16:17,039 --> 00:16:18,505
What's wrong
with the one here?
372
00:16:18,574 --> 00:16:20,574
I'm sorry, I want to live.
373
00:16:25,381 --> 00:16:27,581
Hey. You guys
got a second?
374
00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:30,317
Leonard, I told you, buddy.
We don't need to use your laser.
375
00:16:30,386 --> 00:16:32,719
Yeah, all we need
is Terry Brad-saw.
376
00:16:34,023 --> 00:16:36,089
That's what I named my saw.
377
00:16:37,059 --> 00:16:38,625
No, I-I just wanted
378
00:16:38,694 --> 00:16:40,060
to apologize for yesterday.
379
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:43,130
I just-- I think
I was jealous, you know?
380
00:16:43,198 --> 00:16:45,666
Sheldon and Amy
might win a Nobel Prize,
381
00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:48,368
and now you guys have
this cool meteorite project.
382
00:16:48,437 --> 00:16:50,971
- Really? You're jealous of us?
- Yeah.
383
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:55,575
I even had this crazy dream
last night where I ate you both.
384
00:16:56,679 --> 00:16:58,645
- Seriously?
-Uh...
385
00:16:58,714 --> 00:17:00,180
I know. I was pretty out of it.
386
00:17:00,249 --> 00:17:03,650
Who'd you eat first?
387
00:17:03,719 --> 00:17:05,986
Oh. Uh, you.
388
00:17:06,055 --> 00:17:08,355
Nice.
389
00:17:15,864 --> 00:17:19,533
This is just delightful.
390
00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:23,470
Do you think he knows we're the
ones that got him in trouble?
391
00:17:23,539 --> 00:17:25,405
- Who cares?
-I do. I met his wife.
392
00:17:25,474 --> 00:17:27,407
She seems really nice.
393
00:17:27,476 --> 00:17:29,743
Sorry about
the noise, neighbor!
394
00:17:29,812 --> 00:17:31,244
No problem!
395
00:17:31,313 --> 00:17:34,314
Hey, you guys know
a Sheldon Cooper?!
396
00:17:35,918 --> 00:17:37,851
No, we do not!
397
00:17:46,904 --> 00:17:50,172
Is it just me or has no one
been in the store for hours?
398
00:17:50,241 --> 00:17:52,141
Yeah, it is weirdly quiet.
399
00:17:55,379 --> 00:17:57,646
Nobody's in the street.
400
00:17:57,715 --> 00:18:00,049
Huh. Well,
that's strange.
401
00:18:00,117 --> 00:18:01,517
You thinking
what I'm thinking?
402
00:18:01,586 --> 00:18:04,119
They cut that meteorite open
and unleashed a space plague?
403
00:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,588
Exactly.
404
00:18:05,656 --> 00:18:07,790
Let me just lock up here.
405
00:18:07,859 --> 00:18:09,191
Okay. So what do we do?
406
00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:10,960
Uh, well, if this is
a worst-case scenario
407
00:18:11,028 --> 00:18:13,195
and we're the last two
people alive, we're gonna,
408
00:18:13,264 --> 00:18:15,064
we're gonna have to
rebuild civilization.
409
00:18:15,132 --> 00:18:17,733
Do you have
any special skills?
410
00:18:17,802 --> 00:18:20,102
I can draw.
411
00:18:20,171 --> 00:18:21,604
How 'bout you?
412
00:18:21,672 --> 00:18:23,105
I can play clarinet.
413
00:18:23,174 --> 00:18:24,907
Oh, I didn't know that.
414
00:18:24,976 --> 00:18:27,042
- Yeah, ten years.
- Ah.
415
00:18:27,111 --> 00:18:31,847
You know, it, uh,
might also be up to us to
416
00:18:31,916 --> 00:18:33,649
repopulate the Earth.
417
00:18:33,718 --> 00:18:35,885
I'm okay with that.
418
00:18:35,953 --> 00:18:39,321
So... shall we?
419
00:18:41,425 --> 00:18:43,325
Wait here. I'm gonna
brush my teeth.
420
00:18:50,301 --> 00:18:51,901
Sorry, we're closed!
421
00:18:53,404 --> 00:18:55,671
This is going on Yelp!
422
00:18:57,207 --> 00:19:04,207
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
30909
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
