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1
00:00:02,364 --> 00:00:04,330
Ooh, it's freezing
out here.
2
00:00:04,399 --> 00:00:06,666
Would you like me to...
heat things up?
3
00:00:06,735 --> 00:00:09,903
No, I want to get in the hot tub
before I lose a toe.
4
00:00:10,839 --> 00:00:13,139
Oh. That is bright!
5
00:00:13,208 --> 00:00:15,608
Yeah, a new neighbor
put in floodlights.
6
00:00:15,677 --> 00:00:17,077
Huh.
7
00:00:17,145 --> 00:00:18,678
So, shall we?
8
00:00:18,747 --> 00:00:20,580
No. I don't want
9
00:00:20,649 --> 00:00:22,982
to take my robe off
under a spotlight.
10
00:00:23,051 --> 00:00:25,485
This is a candle body.
11
00:00:25,554 --> 00:00:26,820
MAN (calls):
Howdy, neighbors!
12
00:00:26,888 --> 00:00:29,122
We haven't met
yet. I'm Andy.
13
00:00:29,191 --> 00:00:31,157
Oh. Hello.
Nice to meet you.
14
00:00:31,226 --> 00:00:35,228
You know, your new balcony kind
of looks right over our fence.
15
00:00:35,297 --> 00:00:38,531
ANDY: You might want to put up some
trees. We can see everything.
16
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,535
You can, but it's okay
if you don't.
17
00:00:44,206 --> 00:00:46,372
So, can you turn
your lights off?
18
00:00:46,441 --> 00:00:47,807
Sorry, they're
motion-sensored.
19
00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:50,810
They'll go off in a minute.
Just try to stay still.
20
00:00:50,879 --> 00:00:52,145
(door closes)
21
00:00:52,214 --> 00:00:54,581
What are we gonna
do about this?
22
00:00:54,649 --> 00:00:56,883
I say we wait until
his lights go off,
23
00:00:56,952 --> 00:01:00,987
and then I make hot,
motionless love to you.
24
00:01:03,658 --> 00:01:06,062
Don't move.
It's go time.
25
00:01:06,097 --> 00:01:09,597
♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x14 ♪
The Meteorite Manifestation
Original Air
26
00:01:09,598 --> 00:01:13,032
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
27
00:01:13,101 --> 00:01:16,503
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
28
00:01:16,571 --> 00:01:18,104
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
29
00:01:18,173 --> 00:01:20,940
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
30
00:01:21,009 --> 00:01:22,820
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
31
00:01:22,844 --> 00:01:25,678
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
32
00:01:25,747 --> 00:01:27,881
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
33
00:01:27,949 --> 00:01:29,349
♪ Bang! ♪
34
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,350
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
35
00:01:34,999 --> 00:01:37,499
And his new balcony looks
right down on our hot tub,
36
00:01:37,568 --> 00:01:39,868
which meant we
couldn't do anything.
37
00:01:39,937 --> 00:01:43,772
So you gave your kids
Benadryl for nothing?
38
00:01:45,476 --> 00:01:48,977
Why do I share with you?
You're such a yenta.
39
00:01:49,046 --> 00:01:50,345
Are we done talking about
40
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,080
Howard's failed
conjugal relations?
41
00:01:52,149 --> 00:01:54,416
I have an actual
Nobel Prize crisis to deal with.
42
00:01:54,518 --> 00:01:56,730
Has anything changed since the
last time you talked about it?
43
00:01:56,754 --> 00:01:57,217
No.
44
00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:58,154
Is there anything
you can do about it?
45
00:01:58,155 --> 00:01:58,761
No.
46
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,914
Then shut up
or go wait in the car!
47
00:02:01,492 --> 00:02:02,557
LEONARD:
Excuse me.
48
00:02:02,626 --> 00:02:04,126
Remember you all came here
49
00:02:04,194 --> 00:02:06,194
to check out
my cool new laser?
50
00:02:06,263 --> 00:02:08,997
Oh, right. I'm gonna go
wait in the car.
51
00:02:09,066 --> 00:02:12,200
The best part is that
it's europium-based, so...
52
00:02:12,269 --> 00:02:13,747
And then Andy said
if we want privacy,
53
00:02:13,771 --> 00:02:16,271
we should plant
some trees.
54
00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:19,274
The only way I know how to
do that is to give a dollar
55
00:02:19,343 --> 00:02:21,943
and tree shows
up in Israel.
56
00:02:22,012 --> 00:02:25,013
Okay. Anyway, so because
it's europium-based...
57
00:02:25,082 --> 00:02:27,349
Hey. I need some help
with a meteorite I found.
58
00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:28,917
Ah. I'd be happy to.
59
00:02:28,986 --> 00:02:30,218
Oh, no, I meant Raj.
60
00:02:30,287 --> 00:02:32,287
I really need an astrophysicist.
61
00:02:32,356 --> 00:02:33,288
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Wow.
62
00:02:33,357 --> 00:02:35,123
This is exactly like
a dream I had.
63
00:02:35,192 --> 00:02:38,760
Except in the dream,
you're Gal Gadot.
64
00:02:38,829 --> 00:02:43,432
I don't really have dreams,
when I sleep or in life.
65
00:02:45,035 --> 00:02:46,435
Anyway...
66
00:02:46,503 --> 00:02:48,503
I X-rayed this meteorite,
and it looks like there's
67
00:02:48,539 --> 00:02:50,505
some sort of organic signature
inside of it,
68
00:02:50,574 --> 00:02:52,372
but I could really use
another opinion.
69
00:02:52,396 --> 00:02:53,517
Well, great.
Let's go check it out.
70
00:02:53,518 --> 00:02:54,743
LEONARD: Cool.
71
00:02:54,812 --> 00:02:56,478
I'm gonna stay here
and show Howard...
72
00:02:56,547 --> 00:02:58,313
I want to see it!
73
00:02:58,382 --> 00:03:02,317
Okay. Well, thanks for
stopping by.
74
00:03:03,787 --> 00:03:06,021
(electrical humming)
75
00:03:06,090 --> 00:03:08,590
Screw them. That's cool.
76
00:03:10,027 --> 00:03:12,561
Hey, I'm not sure
we're in the right line.
77
00:03:12,629 --> 00:03:14,763
- Is this for the city zoning office?
- Yes, it is.
78
00:03:14,832 --> 00:03:17,499
Or, as we call it here,
"the zone zone."
79
00:03:17,568 --> 00:03:18,667
(chuckles)
80
00:03:20,237 --> 00:03:22,637
WOMAN (calls):
No, we don't.
81
00:03:22,706 --> 00:03:24,272
That's Linda.
82
00:03:24,341 --> 00:03:27,709
Ignore her.
She's going through the change.
83
00:03:27,778 --> 00:03:29,911
Now, how can I help you?
84
00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:31,324
Our neighbor built
a balcony that looks
85
00:03:31,348 --> 00:03:33,059
right into our backyard,
and we're trying to see
86
00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:34,594
if there's anything
we can do about it.
87
00:03:34,618 --> 00:03:36,551
Well, you have come
to the right place.
88
00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:38,898
You know, a lot of people handle
this type of thing online,
89
00:03:38,922 --> 00:03:41,423
but I always say
nothing beats the human touch.
90
00:03:41,492 --> 00:03:42,692
(chuckles)
Oh, but don't worry.
91
00:03:42,726 --> 00:03:44,526
I'm not gonna
actually touch you.
92
00:03:44,595 --> 00:03:48,130
We had quite the informative
meeting on that.
93
00:03:48,198 --> 00:03:51,066
We just want a little
privacy in our backyard.
94
00:03:51,135 --> 00:03:53,902
You know, for...
(clicks tongue)
95
00:03:55,372 --> 00:03:58,206
(quietly): Maybe we should've
done this online.
96
00:03:58,275 --> 00:04:00,909
No, no, no, no.
The zone zone is a safe zone.
97
00:04:00,978 --> 00:04:04,179
LINDA:
Stop saying "zone zone"!
98
00:04:04,248 --> 00:04:06,214
So, is there anything we can do?
99
00:04:06,283 --> 00:04:09,117
Absolutely. Do you know if they
have permits for the balcony?
100
00:04:09,186 --> 00:04:11,186
Oh, no. We were hoping
you could check.
101
00:04:11,255 --> 00:04:13,233
I certainly can. I just
need you to fill out a form,
102
00:04:13,257 --> 00:04:15,423
and we have them available
in Armenian, Chinese,
103
00:04:15,492 --> 00:04:19,528
Cambodian, English, Farsi,
Korean, Spanish and Vietnamese.
104
00:04:20,931 --> 00:04:23,398
Well, English, obviously.
105
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:25,267
Well, we're not
allowed to presume.
106
00:04:25,335 --> 00:04:28,236
That was a whole other meeting.
107
00:04:28,305 --> 00:04:30,772
So we just fill out
the form and that's it?
108
00:04:30,841 --> 00:04:33,809
Oh, no. No, you need to
fill it out, and then you need
109
00:04:33,877 --> 00:04:36,244
to bring it down to
the Office of Code Compliance.
110
00:04:36,313 --> 00:04:38,880
Now, if your neighbors don't
have a permit, you can file
111
00:04:38,949 --> 00:04:41,016
an official complaint,
but if they do have a permit,
112
00:04:41,084 --> 00:04:43,363
then you have to make the case
that the balcony constitutes
113
00:04:43,387 --> 00:04:46,254
a nuisance, an encumbrance
or an encroachment,
114
00:04:46,323 --> 00:04:47,656
and you have to decide which,
115
00:04:47,724 --> 00:04:49,791
because they are three
totally separate forms.
116
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:53,695
This is starting to seem like
more trouble than it's worth.
117
00:04:53,764 --> 00:04:55,463
I know, right? (chuckles)
118
00:04:58,235 --> 00:05:00,101
(sneezes)
119
00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:02,237
- You okay?
- Yeah.
120
00:05:02,306 --> 00:05:05,807
Great, 'cause you just bought
that whole row of Batmans.
121
00:05:05,876 --> 00:05:07,509
Sorry, I...
122
00:05:07,578 --> 00:05:09,511
(sneezes)
123
00:05:10,814 --> 00:05:13,315
And now you bought Aquaman.
Good choice.
124
00:05:14,685 --> 00:05:15,984
If you want cold medicine,
125
00:05:16,053 --> 00:05:17,986
Stuart has the entire run
of DayQuils,
126
00:05:18,055 --> 00:05:21,323
including the rare
"DayQuilt" misprint from 1996.
127
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:25,193
What can I say?
I'm a collector.
128
00:05:25,262 --> 00:05:27,829
Thanks, but I'm fine.
I think it's just allergies.
129
00:05:27,898 --> 00:05:28,942
- Hi, guys. - Hey.
LEONARD: Hey.
130
00:05:28,966 --> 00:05:30,198
Oh, heads up.
131
00:05:30,267 --> 00:05:32,367
If that Aquaman feels wet,
it's not a gimmick.
132
00:05:32,436 --> 00:05:34,002
Leonard sneezed on it.
133
00:05:35,892 --> 00:05:37,578
- You sick?
- Uh, it's just allergies.
134
00:05:37,579 --> 00:05:38,707
Oh. So, check it out.
135
00:05:38,775 --> 00:05:41,243
This meteorite that Bert found
is really cool.
136
00:05:41,311 --> 00:05:43,245
We did a spectrographic
analysis, and there's...
137
00:05:43,313 --> 00:05:45,480
there's definitely something
going on inside.
138
00:05:45,549 --> 00:05:47,415
Well, y, i-if you want,
139
00:05:47,484 --> 00:05:49,684
we could use my new laser
to cut it open.
140
00:05:49,753 --> 00:05:51,953
Well, thanks, but Bert's
got this water-cooled,
141
00:05:52,022 --> 00:05:53,488
diamond-bladed saw.
142
00:05:53,557 --> 00:05:56,558
Well, sure, but with my laser,
you'd get a thinner slice,
143
00:05:56,627 --> 00:05:58,573
which would make for
a better sample.
144
00:05:58,597 --> 00:05:59,295
STUART: Whoa, whoa.
145
00:05:59,296 --> 00:06:02,097
You're not gonna cut
open a meteor, are you?
146
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,034
Have you not learned anything
from comic books?
147
00:06:07,304 --> 00:06:10,739
Space viruses?
Pod people?
148
00:06:10,807 --> 00:06:13,208
I sell nothing
but warnings.
149
00:06:14,478 --> 00:06:15,877
C-Calm down, Stuart.
150
00:06:15,946 --> 00:06:17,579
You're being a little crazy.
151
00:06:17,648 --> 00:06:19,314
Oh, is he?
Is he being crazy?
152
00:06:19,383 --> 00:06:22,684
Or is he the only one around
here who's making any sense?
153
00:06:24,254 --> 00:06:28,089
It's nice they
found each other.
154
00:06:28,158 --> 00:06:30,992
Yeah. Uh, so, anyway,
you want to use my laser?
155
00:06:31,061 --> 00:06:32,694
Eh, sorry.
It's kind of Bert's thing,
156
00:06:32,763 --> 00:06:34,663
and he wants to do it
his way, so...
157
00:06:34,731 --> 00:06:35,931
Okay.
158
00:06:35,999 --> 00:06:37,899
Yeah, that's cool.
159
00:06:37,968 --> 00:06:40,468
Just seems dumb
to not use the laser.
160
00:06:40,537 --> 00:06:44,105
Not as dumb as
unleashing a plague on mankind,
161
00:06:44,174 --> 00:06:46,441
but, hey, what do we know?
162
00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:48,777
Literally nothing.
163
00:06:51,982 --> 00:06:55,450
We spent half the day down
at the city planning office,
164
00:06:55,519 --> 00:06:56,651
and didn't solve a thing.
165
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,286
Now we have to go
back tomorrow.
166
00:06:58,355 --> 00:07:01,389
The planning office?
You lucky ducks.
167
00:07:01,458 --> 00:07:03,558
Yeah, this one made
me go for ice cream
168
00:07:03,627 --> 00:07:05,293
and talk about her day.
169
00:07:05,362 --> 00:07:07,963
Spoiler alert:
it was fine.
170
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:12,500
It wasn't fine.
I got trapped in an elevator.
171
00:07:12,569 --> 00:07:14,536
I may have missed a few details.
172
00:07:14,604 --> 00:07:17,772
The bottom of my cone
was drippy.
173
00:07:17,841 --> 00:07:21,185
So now we have to download
all these forms and fill them out.
174
00:07:21,186 --> 00:07:21,476
SHELDON: We get it.
175
00:07:21,545 --> 00:07:24,779
Your life is great.
Stop rubbing it in.
176
00:07:24,848 --> 00:07:26,848
Yeah, quit it.
177
00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:29,150
SHELDON:
Is one of the forms
178
00:07:29,219 --> 00:07:30,952
the 599B/C?
179
00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:33,588
Because, if so, it has
a doozy of a typo.
180
00:07:33,657 --> 00:07:34,889
I don't know.
181
00:07:34,958 --> 00:07:36,838
All right, well, I don't
want to spoil anything,
182
00:07:36,893 --> 00:07:40,195
but you might want to start
practicing your "siglature."
183
00:07:42,566 --> 00:07:44,444
Sheldon, if you like this
stuff, why don't you come
184
00:07:44,468 --> 00:07:46,167
- and do it with us?
- Or instead of us?
185
00:07:46,236 --> 00:07:47,769
(gasps)
Do you mean it?
186
00:07:47,838 --> 00:07:50,739
No, no, wait, it's too late.
You can't take it back. Yes.
187
00:07:52,109 --> 00:07:53,386
Well, Amy,
looks like the elevator
188
00:07:53,410 --> 00:07:55,310
might have been
the high point of your day.
189
00:07:56,313 --> 00:07:58,079
Hey, where's Raj?
190
00:07:58,148 --> 00:07:59,481
Uh, he's working with Bert.
191
00:07:59,549 --> 00:08:01,916
They're probably cutting
their stupid meteorite open
192
00:08:01,985 --> 00:08:04,052
with their stupid
diamond saw.
193
00:08:04,121 --> 00:08:05,520
(blows nose)
194
00:08:05,589 --> 00:08:06,888
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
195
00:08:06,957 --> 00:08:08,089
I'm just a little run-down.
196
00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:09,424
It might be a head cold.
197
00:08:12,396 --> 00:08:14,229
Purell.
198
00:08:15,265 --> 00:08:16,598
Purell.
199
00:08:17,634 --> 00:08:19,434
Purell.
200
00:08:19,503 --> 00:08:21,536
Purell.
201
00:08:23,607 --> 00:08:25,573
Can I top anybody off?
202
00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:30,812
It's just so frustrating.
203
00:08:30,881 --> 00:08:33,448
I-I know my laser would be
way more efficient.
204
00:08:33,517 --> 00:08:36,584
They're gonna lose so much
meteorite due to kerf loss.
205
00:08:36,653 --> 00:08:41,423
Mm. I'm sorry your friends won't
let you play kerf with them.
206
00:08:41,491 --> 00:08:44,059
Don't make it sound childish.
207
00:08:44,127 --> 00:08:46,161
It's the scientific word
for dust.
208
00:08:46,229 --> 00:08:48,063
What was wrong with "dust"?
209
00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:52,333
Are you sure you're
not just a little jealous?
210
00:08:52,402 --> 00:08:55,670
No. It's just, my way is better,
but they won't even consider it.
211
00:08:55,739 --> 00:08:57,583
Oh, well, it's their loss.
Look, why don't you go to bed.
212
00:08:57,607 --> 00:08:58,789
I'll run out and get
you some medicine.
213
00:08:58,813 --> 00:08:59,442
Ah, it's okay.
214
00:08:59,443 --> 00:09:02,143
Stuart gave me some when
I was at the comic book store.
215
00:09:02,212 --> 00:09:05,647
Really? You're taking medicine
from Stuart?
216
00:09:05,715 --> 00:09:08,616
Doesn't he need,
like, all of it?
217
00:09:08,685 --> 00:09:10,285
Mm, he's got plenty.
218
00:09:10,353 --> 00:09:13,688
His pill caddy is,
like, this big.
219
00:09:13,757 --> 00:09:15,268
All right, well,
why don't you go to bed.
220
00:09:15,292 --> 00:09:16,591
I'll sleep out here
on the couch.
221
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:18,237
No, no, no, you take the bed.
I'll stay out here.
222
00:09:18,261 --> 00:09:20,195
Even better.
Sweet dreams, snot bag.
223
00:09:25,469 --> 00:09:27,235
See what
I'm talking about?
224
00:09:27,304 --> 00:09:28,770
Oh, yes.
225
00:09:28,839 --> 00:09:30,872
Oh, that is
textbook encroachment.
226
00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:33,775
And I know
because I have the textbook.
227
00:09:33,844 --> 00:09:36,878
First edition.
228
00:09:36,947 --> 00:09:38,880
Watch what happens
when you move.
229
00:09:39,983 --> 00:09:41,082
Oh!
230
00:09:41,151 --> 00:09:43,218
Oh, boy, you weren't kidding.
231
00:09:43,286 --> 00:09:46,621
Oh, those are 10,000
lumens if they're a lumen.
232
00:09:46,690 --> 00:09:48,256
Well, you know
what they say:
233
00:09:48,325 --> 00:09:51,926
when life give you lumens,
make lumen-Ade. (chuckles)
234
00:09:51,995 --> 00:09:53,528
Was that a joke?
235
00:09:53,597 --> 00:09:55,296
Yes.
236
00:09:55,365 --> 00:09:58,600
Based on the premise that
"lumen" sounds like "lemon"?
237
00:09:58,668 --> 00:10:01,803
Yes.
238
00:10:01,872 --> 00:10:03,271
(chuckles):
That's hilarious.
239
00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:06,975
Okay, what is the setback
on property lines
240
00:10:07,043 --> 00:10:08,243
in this neighborhood?
241
00:10:08,311 --> 00:10:09,744
Oh, I don't know.
242
00:10:09,813 --> 00:10:12,380
It must be on the permit
from when you built your deck.
243
00:10:12,449 --> 00:10:13,915
Uh, yeah,
my dad built this.
244
00:10:13,984 --> 00:10:15,384
We didn't do
the whole permit thing.
245
00:10:18,121 --> 00:10:19,654
Here we go.
246
00:10:19,723 --> 00:10:21,489
Are you saying
247
00:10:21,558 --> 00:10:24,192
I'm standing
on an unpermitted deck?
248
00:10:24,261 --> 00:10:27,061
It's been here for years,
Sheldon. It's fine.
249
00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:28,563
How did the inspector
not flag this
250
00:10:28,632 --> 00:10:30,343
when he came to check out
your bathroom renovation?
251
00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:31,199
Uh...
252
00:10:31,268 --> 00:10:32,700
(grunts)
253
00:10:34,271 --> 00:10:36,137
Are you telling me
that I have showered
254
00:10:36,206 --> 00:10:37,839
in an uninspected bathroom?
255
00:10:37,908 --> 00:10:39,574
You showered
in our house?
256
00:10:39,643 --> 00:10:42,043
You made me hold your children.
What did you expect me to do?
257
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:50,480
(exhales)
258
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:55,252
You think
you know people.
259
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,621
You do know
them, Sheldon.
260
00:10:57,689 --> 00:11:00,056
Yeah, but-but do we?
Do we really know them?
261
00:11:01,968 --> 00:11:03,026
Yes!
262
00:11:04,156 --> 00:11:05,627
They're rule breakers, Amy.
263
00:11:05,628 --> 00:11:07,394
And you know what we do
with rule breakers?
264
00:11:07,463 --> 00:11:09,263
Complain about them
to our spouse
265
00:11:09,332 --> 00:11:11,665
until she's ready to drive
into oncoming traffic?
266
00:11:12,145 --> 00:11:14,234
You can't cross
a double yellow line.
267
00:11:14,303 --> 00:11:16,136
What is this, the Purge?
268
00:11:16,205 --> 00:11:18,339
So, I guess
you're not gonna help them?
269
00:11:18,407 --> 00:11:19,506
Oh, I'm gonna help them--
270
00:11:19,575 --> 00:11:22,476
help them get on the right side
of Johnny Law.
271
00:11:22,545 --> 00:11:24,211
Oh, you can't
turn them in.
272
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,746
The city's gonna
make them rip out
273
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,681
all the work they've
done and do it over.
274
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:29,416
It would be the end
of your friendship.
275
00:11:29,485 --> 00:11:31,418
What choice do I have?
These are the rules.
276
00:11:31,487 --> 00:11:33,487
Sheldon, I am begging you.
Please, don't do this.
277
00:11:33,556 --> 00:11:37,191
You know who doesn't get permits
for their decks? Animals.
278
00:11:37,259 --> 00:11:39,793
Animals don't have decks.
279
00:11:39,862 --> 00:11:42,696
Oh, really? I have
one word for you: beavers.
280
00:11:47,236 --> 00:11:48,836
(blows nose)
281
00:11:48,904 --> 00:11:50,838
(sniffles)
Bert?
282
00:11:50,906 --> 00:11:53,207
Raj?
(sniffles)
283
00:11:53,275 --> 00:11:55,209
Huh.
284
00:11:59,048 --> 00:12:00,448
Can't believe
they're gonna cut that
285
00:12:00,516 --> 00:12:03,450
with this punk-ass diamond saw.
286
00:12:08,958 --> 00:12:10,891
Geez.
287
00:12:22,905 --> 00:12:24,505
Oh, hey, look.
288
00:12:24,573 --> 00:12:27,241
"Siglature."
289
00:12:29,512 --> 00:12:30,744
- Next!
- Hello.
290
00:12:30,813 --> 00:12:34,448
Hi! Welcome to the zone zone.
(chuckles)
291
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:36,450
(chuckles):
Oh, that's funny!
292
00:12:36,519 --> 00:12:39,887
Hey, I also have
a joke for you.
293
00:12:39,955 --> 00:12:41,955
Lumen-Ade.
294
00:12:43,659 --> 00:12:45,692
Maybe I told it wrong.
295
00:12:45,761 --> 00:12:47,294
Well, how can I help you?
296
00:12:47,363 --> 00:12:49,797
If I know someone in violation
of the building code,
297
00:12:49,865 --> 00:12:51,365
should I turn them in?
298
00:12:51,434 --> 00:12:52,766
Interesting question.
299
00:12:52,835 --> 00:12:54,835
Yeah, I know. Because,
on the one hand,
300
00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:57,304
Confucius says we owe
a greater responsibility
301
00:12:57,373 --> 00:13:00,574
to people we're close with
rather than to society at large.
302
00:13:00,643 --> 00:13:02,576
But, on the other hand,
Socrates says that
303
00:13:02,645 --> 00:13:05,779
we're obligated to obey
all laws, even unjust ones.
304
00:13:05,848 --> 00:13:07,626
And then, furthermore,
if we're entertaining rules
305
00:13:07,650 --> 00:13:09,316
about when it's okay
to break the rules,
306
00:13:09,385 --> 00:13:11,151
I should--
where does it end?
307
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:14,421
Well, for me, it ends at 5:00.
308
00:13:16,292 --> 00:13:18,892
Well, I just-- I don't
know what to do.
309
00:13:18,961 --> 00:13:20,705
All I can tell you
is that the building codes
310
00:13:20,729 --> 00:13:22,162
are there for everyone's safety.
311
00:13:22,231 --> 00:13:24,965
Oh, so you're saying I have
no choice but to turn them in.
312
00:13:25,034 --> 00:13:27,468
I did not say that.
313
00:13:27,536 --> 00:13:28,936
But would you?
314
00:13:29,004 --> 00:13:32,739
And remember that I laughed
at your "zone zone" joke.
315
00:13:32,808 --> 00:13:34,741
LINDA:
It's not even a joke!
316
00:13:34,810 --> 00:13:36,743
Oh, is that Linda back there?
317
00:13:36,812 --> 00:13:38,278
- Yeah.
- Aw.
318
00:13:38,347 --> 00:13:40,347
How are her hot
flashes? Any better?
319
00:13:40,416 --> 00:13:41,448
(mouths)
320
00:13:44,086 --> 00:13:45,686
Leonard,
what are you doing?!
321
00:13:45,754 --> 00:13:48,655
Showing you that this
is the better way.
322
00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:51,325
Stop! Whatever's
inside there is dangerous!
323
00:13:51,393 --> 00:13:52,826
(zapping)
324
00:13:54,897 --> 00:13:56,697
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Oh.
325
00:13:56,765 --> 00:13:59,633
And pretty.
326
00:14:01,871 --> 00:14:03,470
What is that?
327
00:14:03,539 --> 00:14:05,005
(gas hisses, Leonard shouts)
328
00:14:05,074 --> 00:14:07,508
Are you okay?
(groans)
329
00:14:07,576 --> 00:14:11,178
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just feeling a little...
330
00:14:14,884 --> 00:14:17,518
(distorted):
...hungry.
331
00:14:17,586 --> 00:14:19,286
(screaming)
332
00:14:19,355 --> 00:14:21,588
Stop eating Bert!
333
00:14:25,027 --> 00:14:26,226
Keep eating Bert!
334
00:14:26,295 --> 00:14:28,529
(screaming)
335
00:14:29,465 --> 00:14:30,397
PENNY:
Leonard.
336
00:14:30,466 --> 00:14:31,665
- Leonard!
- What? What?
337
00:14:31,734 --> 00:14:33,167
You're having a bad dream.
338
00:14:33,235 --> 00:14:35,068
Oh, thank God.
339
00:14:35,137 --> 00:14:36,603
I was eating my friends.
340
00:14:36,672 --> 00:14:38,739
Well, one friend
and one acquaintance.
341
00:14:38,807 --> 00:14:42,142
You know what, Bert's okay.
Two friends.
342
00:14:42,211 --> 00:14:44,144
Let me see
if you're running a fever.
343
00:14:44,213 --> 00:14:45,145
Yeah.
344
00:14:45,214 --> 00:14:47,181
Oh, yeah,
you're burning up.
345
00:14:49,718 --> 00:14:51,251
(screaming)
346
00:14:51,353 --> 00:14:52,353
(screams)
347
00:14:52,388 --> 00:14:53,820
Geez!
348
00:14:53,889 --> 00:14:54,889
Are you okay?
349
00:14:54,957 --> 00:14:56,089
(pants)
That depends.
350
00:14:56,158 --> 00:14:57,824
What-what color are my eyes?
351
00:14:57,893 --> 00:14:59,092
I don't know, brown?
352
00:14:59,161 --> 00:15:01,728
No, green. No, wait, brown.
353
00:15:01,797 --> 00:15:05,232
Oh, good, I'm awake.
354
00:15:06,702 --> 00:15:08,869
Howie, someone's here
to see you.
355
00:15:08,938 --> 00:15:10,337
Hello.
356
00:15:10,406 --> 00:15:12,673
Hey. What's going on?
357
00:15:12,741 --> 00:15:15,042
Can you come
over here?
358
00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:18,345
Sheldon, the deck is safe.
You can walk on it.
359
00:15:18,414 --> 00:15:20,681
(sighs)
360
00:15:23,352 --> 00:15:24,885
(exhales)
361
00:15:24,954 --> 00:15:27,287
Oh, that gets the heart going.
Mm.
362
00:15:27,356 --> 00:15:29,223
So, what's up?
363
00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:31,291
I went down to the city
Code Compliance Office
364
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,292
to turn you in.
365
00:15:32,361 --> 00:15:33,727
Are you kidding?
366
00:15:33,796 --> 00:15:34,728
But I didn't do it.
367
00:15:34,797 --> 00:15:37,231
I filled out the form
and then realized
368
00:15:37,299 --> 00:15:39,233
that the unwritten rules
of friendship
369
00:15:39,301 --> 00:15:41,635
are more important
than the written rules
370
00:15:41,704 --> 00:15:44,571
of the city of Altadena's
Zoning and Planning Department.
371
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,139
Aw.
372
00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,609
Really? "Aw"?
373
00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:50,911
And you'll be happy to know
that, while I was there,
374
00:15:50,980 --> 00:15:52,457
I did look into
your neighbor's balcony,
375
00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:54,414
and it is encroaching
on your property line.
376
00:15:54,483 --> 00:15:56,350
I had all this pent-up
snitch energy,
377
00:15:56,418 --> 00:15:58,719
so I reported him hard.
378
00:15:58,787 --> 00:15:59,787
What did they say?
379
00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:01,255
He's going
to have to remove it.
380
00:16:01,323 --> 00:16:03,156
(chuckles)
So the good guys win?
381
00:16:03,225 --> 00:16:05,525
Well, I don't know
if I'd call you the good guys.
382
00:16:05,594 --> 00:16:06,893
You're enforcing a law on him
383
00:16:06,962 --> 00:16:08,729
that you're willfully ignoring
yourselves.
384
00:16:08,797 --> 00:16:09,797
Uh, all right, fine.
385
00:16:09,865 --> 00:16:12,432
So the morally
compromised guys win.
386
00:16:12,501 --> 00:16:13,767
Apparently so.
387
00:16:13,836 --> 00:16:15,847
Now, if one of you'd be
kind enough to take me home,
388
00:16:15,871 --> 00:16:16,970
I need to use my bathroom.
389
00:16:17,039 --> 00:16:18,505
What's wrong
with the one here?
390
00:16:18,574 --> 00:16:20,574
I'm sorry, I want to live.
391
00:16:23,712 --> 00:16:25,312
(sniffles)
392
00:16:25,381 --> 00:16:27,581
Hey. You guys
got a second?
393
00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:30,317
Leonard, I told you, buddy.
We don't need to use your laser.
394
00:16:30,386 --> 00:16:32,719
Yeah, all we need
is Terry Brad-saw.
395
00:16:34,023 --> 00:16:36,089
That's what I named my saw.
396
00:16:37,059 --> 00:16:38,625
No, I-I just wanted
397
00:16:38,694 --> 00:16:40,060
to apologize for yesterday.
398
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:43,130
I just-- I think
I was jealous, you know?
399
00:16:43,198 --> 00:16:45,666
Sheldon and Amy
might win a Nobel Prize,
400
00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:48,368
and now you guys have
this cool meteorite project.
401
00:16:48,437 --> 00:16:50,971
- Really? You're jealous of us?
- Yeah.
402
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:55,575
I even had this crazy dream
last night where I ate you both.
403
00:16:56,679 --> 00:16:58,645
- Seriously?
- Uh...
404
00:16:58,714 --> 00:17:00,180
I know. I was pretty out of it.
405
00:17:00,249 --> 00:17:03,650
Who'd you eat first?
406
00:17:03,719 --> 00:17:05,986
Oh. Uh, you.
407
00:17:06,055 --> 00:17:08,355
(chuckles) Nice.
408
00:17:11,593 --> 00:17:13,794
(jackhammer rattling)
409
00:17:15,864 --> 00:17:19,533
This is just delightful.
410
00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:23,470
Do you think he knows we're the
ones that got him in trouble?
411
00:17:23,539 --> 00:17:25,405
- Who cares?
- I do. I met his wife.
412
00:17:25,474 --> 00:17:27,407
She seems really nice.
413
00:17:27,476 --> 00:17:29,743
ANDY: Sorry about
the noise, neighbor!
414
00:17:29,812 --> 00:17:31,244
No problem!
415
00:17:31,313 --> 00:17:34,314
Hey, you guys know
a Sheldon Cooper?!
416
00:17:35,918 --> 00:17:37,851
No, we do not!
417
00:17:46,904 --> 00:17:50,172
Is it just me or has no one
been in the store for hours?
418
00:17:50,241 --> 00:17:52,141
Yeah, it is weirdly quiet.
419
00:17:55,379 --> 00:17:57,646
(gasps)
Nobody's in the street.
420
00:17:57,715 --> 00:18:00,049
Huh. Well,
that's strange.
421
00:18:00,117 --> 00:18:01,517
You thinking
what I'm thinking?
422
00:18:01,586 --> 00:18:04,119
They cut that meteorite open
and unleashed a space plague?
423
00:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,588
Exactly.
424
00:18:05,656 --> 00:18:07,790
Let me just lock up here.
(lock clicks)
425
00:18:07,859 --> 00:18:09,191
Okay. So what do we do?
426
00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:10,960
Uh, well, if this is
a worst-case scenario
427
00:18:11,028 --> 00:18:13,195
and we're the last two
people alive, we're gonna,
428
00:18:13,264 --> 00:18:15,064
we're gonna have to
rebuild civilization.
429
00:18:15,132 --> 00:18:17,733
Do you have
any special skills?
430
00:18:17,802 --> 00:18:20,102
I can draw.
431
00:18:20,171 --> 00:18:21,604
How 'bout you?
432
00:18:21,672 --> 00:18:23,105
I can play clarinet.
433
00:18:23,174 --> 00:18:24,907
Oh, I didn't know that.
434
00:18:24,976 --> 00:18:27,042
- Yeah, ten years.
- Ah.
435
00:18:27,111 --> 00:18:31,847
You know, it, uh,
might also be up to us to
436
00:18:31,916 --> 00:18:33,649
repopulate the Earth.
437
00:18:33,718 --> 00:18:35,885
I'm okay with that.
(chuckles)
438
00:18:35,953 --> 00:18:39,321
So... shall we?
439
00:18:41,425 --> 00:18:43,325
Wait here. I'm gonna
brush my teeth.
440
00:18:50,301 --> 00:18:51,901
Sorry, we're closed!
441
00:18:53,404 --> 00:18:55,671
This is going on Yelp!
442
00:18:57,207 --> 00:19:04,207
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
32327
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