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Announcer: For the past few
years ricky gervais,
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00:00:19,972 --> 00:00:21,917
Stephen merchant,
and karl pilkington
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00:00:21,975 --> 00:00:23,749
Have been meeting regularly
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00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,947
For a series of pointless
conversations.
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00:00:26,007 --> 00:00:28,147
This is one of them.
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- Testing.
- Is that all right?
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( dings )
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Hello and welcome to
"the ricky gervais show"
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With me, ricky gervais,
stephen merchant...
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00:00:36,934 --> 00:00:39,978
Hello. -...And the
little round-headed buffoon
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That is karl pilkington.
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Hi.
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( theme music playing )
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Karl, joe from bradford asks,
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"what body parts can you live without?
" he wants to know.
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He's obviously having sleepless
nights thinking about this.
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- What, so--
- ( both groaning )
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- The brain.
- He's coped this far.
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I did a bit of an
experiment on this.
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Brilliant.
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It's my job at home to wash up.
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Suzanne does-- - she gives you all
the really big responsible ones.
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She pays the bills
and wires the house.
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And you go, "what can I do?"
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"well, you can go and play with
the worms in the garden."
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Yeah. - So anyway,
it's my job to wash up and that.
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And I thought to make it
interesting and stuff--
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I thought, "I wonder
if I can do it
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If I didn't have any thumbs."
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( both laughing )
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- And so what did you do?
- So I just sort of--
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You sliced off your thumbs.
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I just sort of held them in,
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And it's amazing how
it took me ages
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Just having that one thing gone.
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Well, it's part of our evolution-
the opposable thumb.
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Basically, that's when we sought--
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These are milestones
in human evolution:
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The opposable thumb,
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The forward-facing eyes,
the upright--
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And one day, karl,
you'll walk upright.
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What do you mean about
eyes facing forward?
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You mean before we got
here there was people
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Whose eyes were
looking in their head?
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( both laughing )
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00:02:13,565 --> 00:02:16,603
So when you were doing this
experiment, washing up,
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You say that you
found it difficult.
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So you didn't just give up
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Once you realized how
essential thumbs were.
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You actually washed up everything.
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I just think of suzanne
walking in and karl's there
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00:02:26,341 --> 00:02:30,680
Just covered in water
and fairy liquid suds,
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Standing on a pile of
broken crockery.
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Yeah, plunging his face into the
sink every 30 seconds
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And just swishing his head around.
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00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:40,846
( both laughing )
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00:02:40,906 --> 00:02:43,376
But we talked about the
washing up thing before
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When I look out of the window.
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So the sink's in front
of the window. - Yeah.
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And that's why I
quite like washing up
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00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,374
Because I can just look out onto the street,
see people going past.
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There's a local homeless
fella called franco.
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You know, I look out-- that he's
all right and everything.
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00:02:59,121 --> 00:03:00,556
But I was looking across the way,
right?
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00:03:00,609 --> 00:03:04,346
And there's some-
there's some chinese people
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00:03:04,426 --> 00:03:06,929
Who live on-- in a flat,
a really small flat.
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And they're up till all hours.
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- I don't know what they're doing.
- ( stephen laughs )
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But they decide to vac up
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At about half 3:00 in the morning
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And it was really noisy and that.
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00:03:14,968 --> 00:03:19,473
But above them there was
some woman who--
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The bedroom is on par
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- To our kitchen.
- Yeah.
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- So I'm washing up...
- Yeah.
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...And I look across and
see this woman
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With no pants on and that,
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No bra on and that.
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Naked. - That's the
word you're looking for.
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00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:41,658
Yeah yeah. She's just wandering
about with nothing on.
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00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:43,223
So I was like, "oh,
that's all right."
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So I carried on washing
up and that
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And kept looking.
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And then I was looking and
she looked at me.
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- So we made eye contact.
- Stephen: Sure.
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So I was like, "oh god."
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So what I thought the
best thing to do was--
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Was sort of drop my
pants a little bit...
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00:04:02,557 --> 00:04:05,626
( both laughing )
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Just a little bit.
I had boxer shorts on.
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00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:10,701
I thought if I just
show a little bit of--
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A little bit of ass cheek,
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Then it's kind of like we're quits.
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I don't understand the thinking.
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00:04:18,461 --> 00:04:21,495
So suzanne's watching the telly.
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00:04:21,568 --> 00:04:23,868
I think she's watching "sex
and the city" or something.
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She turns around to see how I'm
getting on with the washing up.
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She sees me with my pants down a
little bit with my ass out.
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She said, "what are you doing?"
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I said, "don't look now,
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But there's a woman over the road
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With no pants on and that.
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She caught me looking.
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I'm just giving her a bit back."
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00:04:43,177 --> 00:04:45,244
( stephen, ricky laughing )
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00:04:45,305 --> 00:04:47,405
I love the fact that
he explains the rules
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And suzanne's gonna go, "okay.
" - "that makes sense."
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But I don't-- so hang on.
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You showed a bit of your ass.
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You turned presumably
to show the ass.
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I had to lift it up a little bit
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On the draining board.
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What-- hang on though.
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What did she do?
Did you register her reaction?
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00:05:02,725 --> 00:05:05,292
When she saw a bit of your ass,
what happened?
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- When she saw my ass?
- Yeah.
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00:05:06,742 --> 00:05:08,843
Well, then I wasn't looking
because I thought
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In a way I don't
want ito look like,
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"well, I've seen a bit of your stuff.
Here's a bit of mine."
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00:05:14,473 --> 00:05:17,107
Just thought, "at the end of the
day I caught a glance of you."
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00:05:17,175 --> 00:05:19,408
- It's only fair.
- "you've had a bit back."
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00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:21,436
- You know, I'm not--
- you see, I genuinely think
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00:05:21,496 --> 00:05:24,096
James stewart missed a trick
here in "rear window." - yeah.
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00:05:24,163 --> 00:05:26,930
This would have been
a much better film
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00:05:26,999 --> 00:05:29,432
Had james stewart just
popped his pants down.
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It would have given a whole new
meaning to the title "rear window."
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00:05:32,434 --> 00:05:34,234
- Yeah, exactly.
- It's tricky though.
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00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,757
I seem to be surrounded
by people like that.
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00:05:36,822 --> 00:05:39,756
Remember that film? That "slither"
or something. - Okay, right.
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00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:41,494
The one where they've
got video cameras.
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I'm just looking onto
everybody's world
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And just seeing what
people are getting up to.
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- There's nothing wrong with that.
- Ricky: Brilliant.
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That's why I like washing up.
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( laughing )
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00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,566
We were talking
about famous mantras
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- And sayings and things.
- Yeah.
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00:05:58,109 --> 00:06:00,914
"never has a manc said so much
to so many that means so little."
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00:06:00,983 --> 00:06:03,389
Brilliant. - So you can
have that on your headstone.
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00:06:03,454 --> 00:06:06,024
Stephen: Rupert-- - riy:
Your little round headstone.
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00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:07,089
( chuckling )
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00:06:07,136 --> 00:06:08,269
Rupert's in the isle of man.
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00:06:08,317 --> 00:06:10,251
He says, "I don't know
if you knew this, karl,
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But apparently octopuses' testicles
are located in their heads."
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00:06:13,922 --> 00:06:15,222
Yeah.
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00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:18,742
But then to me that
isn't that amazing
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00:06:18,819 --> 00:06:20,652
Because at the end of
the day an octopus--
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Really, all it is is an head,
isn't it?
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So everything it's got has to be in
the head? - It has to be in the head.
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00:06:27,092 --> 00:06:29,026
It'd look daft if it
dangled down below.
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00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,618
- ( ricky laughing )
- karl: Right?
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00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:34,118
So all it is-- I mean, there's a lot
of facts-- - stephen: Hang on.
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00:06:34,183 --> 00:06:36,917
It'd look daft it they
dangled down below?
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I'm wondering, but that could
almost be the b side to...
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( both ) b side to "
I could eat a nob at night."
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00:06:45,258 --> 00:06:48,526
James round says,
"karl, if you could be
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00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,136
Anyone in the world,
who would it be?"
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00:06:52,213 --> 00:06:55,248
Uh...
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00:06:55,321 --> 00:06:57,421
Dead or alive?
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00:06:57,482 --> 00:07:00,383
Why would you choose
to be a dead person?
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00:07:00,452 --> 00:07:04,487
No, but sometimes there's
people who are now dead,
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00:07:04,572 --> 00:07:06,339
But everybody raves about them.
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00:07:06,396 --> 00:07:09,898
What I mean is-- - oh, just answer
the question. Who would you be and why?
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00:07:09,976 --> 00:07:12,343
It's someone you admire or
you think had a good life.
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00:07:12,407 --> 00:07:14,240
But what I mean is he's
got to be remembered--
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00:07:14,298 --> 00:07:17,132
Like winston churchill is
remembered as being a decent bloke,
167
00:07:17,202 --> 00:07:19,002
But I wouldn't want the
hassle that he had.
168
00:07:19,058 --> 00:07:20,959
So I don't wanna
live his life. - Right.
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00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:23,317
- But he's got to be-
- - you'd like to be winston churchill,
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00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:26,849
But you'd like to have a paper round
instead of... - ( glass shatters )
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00:07:26,925 --> 00:07:28,225
- Saving the world.
- Yeah.
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00:07:28,277 --> 00:07:29,844
Well, that's what I mean.
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00:07:29,897 --> 00:07:32,798
But is he saying who uld I wanna-
whose job would I take on?
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00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,036
- It's not that complicated.
- The question is this:
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00:07:35,098 --> 00:07:37,232
"if he could be anyone in the world,
who would karl be?"
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00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:41,194
That's the question. That's all
the information I've got.
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00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:45,646
Whew, a lot of responsibility
on a lot of jobs, isn't there?
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00:07:45,734 --> 00:07:48,101
Some of the names flowing
through your head now?
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00:07:48,165 --> 00:07:52,301
Um, I was thinking bruce willis.
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00:07:52,385 --> 00:07:54,953
( cackling )
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00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:59,422
I never expected that.
I never expected that.
182
00:07:59,510 --> 00:08:02,478
So what-- so his responsibility
in your mind is what?
183
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:05,283
Saving people who are trapped in a
building with terrorists?
184
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,485
Well, yeah, maybe.
185
00:08:06,533 --> 00:08:09,635
You know, his worries
are different worries.
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00:08:09,707 --> 00:08:12,342
With people who have a lot of money
187
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,343
Come other worries.
188
00:08:14,401 --> 00:08:15,835
- Yeah.
- Do you know what I mean?
189
00:08:15,887 --> 00:08:18,288
So bruce willis, he's always
going on these marches,
190
00:08:18,352 --> 00:08:19,818
Saying "stop war" and all that...
191
00:08:19,872 --> 00:08:21,906
...Mainly because he's got--
192
00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:24,633
He's got more to lose
if there's a war.
193
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,668
He's got loads of houses.
One of them's gonna get damaged.
194
00:08:27,739 --> 00:08:29,806
Whereas if you're poor,you'.
195
00:08:29,866 --> 00:08:32,468
If there's a war, it's like, "oh,
just hand it off for me then.
196
00:08:32,534 --> 00:08:34,335
I'm sick of it anyway."
197
00:08:34,391 --> 00:08:36,925
- Do you know at I mean?
- Whereas bruce-- yeah.
198
00:08:36,991 --> 00:08:39,759
With successful
life and happy life,
199
00:08:39,827 --> 00:08:42,328
There's more for you to lose
is what I'm saying. - Right.
200
00:08:42,394 --> 00:08:46,463
Like, at the moment, because
I've finished the job that's--
201
00:08:46,547 --> 00:08:49,115
That I've been at for 10 years...
202
00:08:49,181 --> 00:08:51,715
I've finished working there,
so suddenly I've got--
203
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:55,149
My timetable's a bit out and I
haven't got enough of a routine.
204
00:08:55,225 --> 00:08:58,893
And I'm a man who likes to know what
I'm doing. - Stephen: Yeah.
205
00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:02,775
So now suddenly, I-- - 5 until 7:
00: Washing up with no thumbs.
206
00:09:02,856 --> 00:09:07,159
I like-- I've sort of
turned into an old person
207
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:11,282
Where the little jobs that you
shouldn't enjoy are now the main event.
208
00:09:11,365 --> 00:09:12,765
Hold on. How old are you?
209
00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,384
- You're 31, aren't you? - 32.
210
00:09:14,438 --> 00:09:17,273
32, and you're pottering around,
211
00:09:17,342 --> 00:09:19,076
Not knowing what to
do with yourself?
212
00:09:19,132 --> 00:09:20,532
Well, like yesterday,
213
00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:23,552
Suzanne's shoes needed to
go to the cobbler's.
214
00:09:23,623 --> 00:09:25,257
I haven't heard the
word "cobbler's"--
215
00:09:25,311 --> 00:09:27,112
I didn't even know
cobblers still existed.
216
00:09:27,168 --> 00:09:30,003
I only ever see that in
christmas films made by disney.
217
00:09:30,072 --> 00:09:32,073
Well, I had to go and do
that and that suddenly--
218
00:09:32,133 --> 00:09:34,800
'cause last time you were going
to the toffee shop. - Yeah.
219
00:09:34,868 --> 00:09:36,501
And w you're going
to the cobbler's.
220
00:09:36,556 --> 00:09:38,690
Next week it's the
candlestick maker.
221
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:41,952
But all I mean is that suddenly
is a nice little day out.
222
00:09:42,026 --> 00:09:44,827
So I put my coat on, going, "right,
I'm going to the cobbler now."
223
00:09:44,896 --> 00:09:46,363
Tell me about the cobbler.
224
00:09:46,415 --> 00:09:48,682
You didn't come back with
three magic beans, did you?
225
00:09:48,745 --> 00:09:50,579
No, the cobbler's-
cobbler's all right.
226
00:09:50,636 --> 00:09:53,305
He's-- you know, he's doing-
he's fixing shoes and that.
227
00:09:53,372 --> 00:09:54,972
He's cobbling.
He's cobbling all day.
228
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:59,297
Have I told you about my
uncle alf who was a cobbler?
229
00:09:59,383 --> 00:10:02,385
No. - I'm sure I
told you about him.
230
00:10:02,456 --> 00:10:04,090
He's the one who...
231
00:10:04,144 --> 00:10:07,946
He lived in a bedsit
and he had two tellies.
232
00:10:08,028 --> 00:10:13,166
He had one that--
that the sound didn't work on
233
00:10:13,263 --> 00:10:15,161
And one that the picture didn't.
234
00:10:15,218 --> 00:10:18,416
But both together, it worked.
235
00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:21,258
So as long as he was watching the right-
the same channel on both,
236
00:10:21,326 --> 00:10:24,127
Sound came out of one tellie and
he'd watch the pictu on the other.
237
00:10:24,196 --> 00:10:26,597
Brilliant. - And he
slept in a rubber dinghy.
238
00:10:26,661 --> 00:10:29,429
- ( ricky cackling )
- karl: But he was--
239
00:10:29,497 --> 00:10:30,998
Whoa, you can't
just let that slide.
240
00:10:31,051 --> 00:10:33,085
Why did he sleep
in a rubber dinghy?
241
00:10:33,144 --> 00:10:35,712
Heust liked boats and
stuff and sort of--
242
00:10:35,778 --> 00:10:38,579
Yeah, I like boats,
but they're better on the water.
243
00:10:38,648 --> 00:10:41,850
Beds are better to sleep on.
Boats are better to sail on.
244
00:10:41,923 --> 00:10:43,524
Well, he just had it in a-
it's a bedsit.
245
00:10:43,578 --> 00:10:45,412
- It was really tight spacing.
- Boatsit.
246
00:10:45,469 --> 00:10:47,336
- He's got this--
- he moved into a dinghysit.
247
00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:48,961
He's got this dinghy
so he's thinking,
248
00:10:49,014 --> 00:10:50,548
"well, rather than
it get in the way,
249
00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:52,168
I might as well use it, right?"
250
00:10:52,222 --> 00:10:54,523
But he was a-- he was a cobbler
251
00:10:54,586 --> 00:10:59,088
And he used to repair my
shoes and that, right? - Yeah.
252
00:10:59,179 --> 00:11:01,713
But he'd always
sort of overdo them.
253
00:11:01,778 --> 00:11:03,912
( laughing ) what do you mean?
254
00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:05,907
- Like, uh...
- Fancy.
255
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:08,733
- Karl: Do you know "pimp my ride" on mtv?
- Ricky: Yeah.
256
00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:12,003
Because he does up shoes.
He'd go mental on them. - What do you mean?
257
00:11:12,077 --> 00:11:14,178
- Ricky: There was the stereo?
- Karl: Well, no.
258
00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:15,638
There was horns?
259
00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:17,724
( imitates trumpets playing
"la cucaracha" )
260
00:11:17,783 --> 00:11:19,617
Stripes down the side.
261
00:11:19,674 --> 00:11:22,609
Here comes mr. Pilkington.
He's got the fastest shoes in the land.
262
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,580
No, he'd just make shoes
that would last forever.
263
00:11:24,638 --> 00:11:27,272
So instead of putting one sole on,
264
00:11:27,339 --> 00:11:29,507
He'd put about five on.
265
00:11:29,568 --> 00:11:32,270
So it looked like one
of them built-up shoes
266
00:11:32,337 --> 00:11:33,804
Thatou never see.
267
00:11:33,856 --> 00:11:36,424
He'd just put loads of stuff-
they'd last forever.
268
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:38,057
But they looked like
orthopedic shoes.
269
00:11:38,111 --> 00:11:41,813
Yeah yeah, just like the-
suddenly I was 6'7"
270
00:11:41,893 --> 00:11:44,728
Whenever he sorted my shoes out.
271
00:11:44,798 --> 00:11:46,698
But he's a cobbler and it's work
272
00:11:46,756 --> 00:11:49,390
That's always there for you,
isn't it?
273
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,525
- I suppose so.
- So you went out with--
274
00:11:51,584 --> 00:11:54,052
To take suzanne's
shoes to the cobbler.
275
00:11:54,117 --> 00:11:55,384
Yeah, so that's it.
276
00:11:55,433 --> 00:11:57,334
So I just took them to
the cobbler's and that,
277
00:11:57,392 --> 00:12:00,294
And that was a nice
little job for the day.
278
00:12:00,364 --> 00:12:02,999
I got a leaflet through
the door saying,
279
00:12:03,065 --> 00:12:04,865
"if you wanna a walk a dog,
280
00:12:04,922 --> 00:12:06,455
You know, the-
the rates are good."
281
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:08,176
I don't know what they
pay and that
282
00:12:08,231 --> 00:12:09,531
And I thought, "if I do that
283
00:12:09,581 --> 00:12:12,850
And can get a paper round-
two in one."
284
00:12:12,925 --> 00:12:16,460
Sorry, you just went
from a job, right,
285
00:12:16,538 --> 00:12:20,073
Where you were the
head of production
286
00:12:20,150 --> 00:12:22,084
At a radio station,
287
00:12:22,143 --> 00:12:25,911
Dare I say it,
on-- can I discuss your--
288
00:12:25,993 --> 00:12:27,927
- Well, it was all right wage.
- It was very good.
289
00:12:27,984 --> 00:12:30,518
- But I wasn't happy, so it's pointless.
- No, I know that.
290
00:12:30,585 --> 00:12:32,118
But to go from
291
00:12:32,172 --> 00:12:36,641
The head of a department
on a lot of money
292
00:12:36,730 --> 00:12:39,432
To walking dogs and doing
a paper round
293
00:12:39,499 --> 00:12:41,133
Are-- I don't know--
294
00:12:41,187 --> 00:12:42,720
But it's about being happy,
isn't it?
295
00:12:42,774 --> 00:12:44,941
I know, but-- that's
commendable if that's true.
296
00:12:45,003 --> 00:12:47,871
- But it-- okay.
- That makes you happier?
297
00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:49,741
Well, I haven't-
I haven't walked the dog yet.
298
00:12:49,798 --> 00:12:52,199
- Karl: But I'm just saying if I do-
- - ( thunder rumbling )
299
00:12:52,263 --> 00:12:54,197
I mean, I'm not taking it
if it's raining.
300
00:12:54,255 --> 00:12:57,257
I'm just thinking if it's a nice sunny
day and I fancy a potter,
301
00:12:57,328 --> 00:12:59,796
I'll go round to her and say,
"well, how much are you paying?
302
00:12:59,861 --> 00:13:01,594
I'll take the dog a walk.
" - sure.
303
00:13:01,651 --> 00:13:04,385
But I can't believe some of the
words that have cropped up.
304
00:13:04,454 --> 00:13:07,288
"potter," "cobblers,
" "toffee shop."
305
00:13:07,358 --> 00:13:10,993
It-- it's very very strange.
306
00:13:11,071 --> 00:13:12,905
Do you live in narnia?
307
00:13:16,441 --> 00:13:21,077
A lot of people are emailing
in brainy stuff. - Brilliant.
308
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,835
I'm getting a lot of
stuff about philosophy...
309
00:13:23,902 --> 00:13:25,903
- Oh, yeah.
- ...And all that.
310
00:13:25,962 --> 00:13:27,462
Um, "discart"--
311
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,616
That's another one that's
mentioned in an email.
312
00:13:29,677 --> 00:13:33,612
Descartes, the french
philosopher. - Yeah.
313
00:13:33,694 --> 00:13:35,161
What was-- what's your question?
314
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,281
Well, he cropped up on an email.
315
00:13:37,341 --> 00:13:39,709
Someone said,
"what do you think of him?"
316
00:13:39,772 --> 00:13:41,173
And I was like, "oh, I don't know."
317
00:13:41,224 --> 00:13:46,227
He-- famously, he pondered
his own existence.
318
00:13:46,324 --> 00:13:49,859
Cogito ergo sum-- "I think,
therefore I am."
319
00:13:49,936 --> 00:13:51,669
He was thinking about-
he was thinking,
320
00:13:51,726 --> 00:13:54,260
"how do I know all this is true,
everything around me?"
321
00:13:54,325 --> 00:13:55,792
And he thought, "well,
I can see it
322
00:13:55,844 --> 00:13:57,611
And I can smell it and
I can hear it."
323
00:13:57,667 --> 00:14:00,635
And he went, "oh, yeah, my senses can
be fooled. I could be dreaming.
324
00:14:00,705 --> 00:14:03,773
But if I'm dreaming,
then at least I'm alive.
325
00:14:03,845 --> 00:14:05,779
At least I have some sort
of consciousness.
326
00:14:05,837 --> 00:14:10,206
So if I'm even thinking about anything,
you know, I am.
327
00:14:10,295 --> 00:14:13,829
I exist. I think, therefore I am.
328
00:14:13,906 --> 00:14:15,341
Cogito ergo sum."
329
00:14:15,393 --> 00:14:17,029
But we don't need to
know the latin bit.
330
00:14:17,083 --> 00:14:19,686
Why is everyone always going
back to latin? It was ages ago.
331
00:14:19,752 --> 00:14:21,554
( laughing )
332
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,012
Why is that language always being--
333
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,130
And were latin people
always in a rush?
334
00:14:25,191 --> 00:14:27,992
'cause there seems to be
words for four sentences.
335
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:29,727
Why couldn't they
just set up the time
336
00:14:29,783 --> 00:14:31,683
- And say what they wanna say?
- ( laughing )
337
00:14:31,741 --> 00:14:34,775
- And it's just like what-
- - I'd love you to teach that in--
338
00:14:34,848 --> 00:14:36,882
What about plato?
339
00:14:36,941 --> 00:14:38,608
- Ricky: Right, greek.
- Karl: Right?
340
00:14:38,663 --> 00:14:41,497
Now would you say he's a
bright bloke? - Yes, I would.
341
00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:43,401
I'd say he's a very very
bright bloke.
342
00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:45,126
Right, let me tell you this.
343
00:14:45,181 --> 00:14:47,616
- If he's that bright-
- you know how he got killed? - No.
344
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:49,114
Got hit on the head by an egg.
345
00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:52,368
( laughing ) fuckin' hell!
346
00:14:52,441 --> 00:14:54,609
Well, he's not so
clever then, is he?
347
00:14:54,670 --> 00:14:56,404
- That's what I'm saying.
- Boo!
348
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:57,727
What's the story with the egg?
349
00:14:57,777 --> 00:15:00,312
He was on holiday
or something and...
350
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:03,412
- ( steven laughing) he was on holiday.
- Ricky: In greece probably.
351
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,051
He was having a walk about
352
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,005
And a bird was flying over the--
353
00:15:07,063 --> 00:15:09,364
This bird was what? A great ork?
354
00:15:09,426 --> 00:15:12,162
What sized bird killed
him with his egg?
355
00:15:12,230 --> 00:15:13,831
- It was a big one, yeah.
- Was it?
356
00:15:13,885 --> 00:15:16,753
- And the way they used to--
- an ostrich on a hang-glider?
357
00:15:16,822 --> 00:15:19,457
The way they used to crack the
eggs open to let the kids out--
358
00:15:19,523 --> 00:15:21,724
They used to drop them on rocks.
359
00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:24,054
( laughing ) what bird is this?
360
00:15:24,117 --> 00:15:26,985
Dropping its egg to
let the kids out.
361
00:15:27,054 --> 00:15:29,955
You're a maniac! You are a maniac!
362
00:15:30,026 --> 00:15:32,193
And plato had a little bald head.
363
00:15:32,254 --> 00:15:33,754
- Right.
- So from the top,
364
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,741
The bird's there looking
down and it goes,
365
00:15:35,799 --> 00:15:37,934
"oh, there's a little rock.
I'll drop the egg."
366
00:15:37,994 --> 00:15:40,762
Hits him on the head. Killed him.
367
00:15:40,831 --> 00:15:43,198
Now this is what I was
saying before about--
368
00:15:43,263 --> 00:15:45,463
Well, I'm letting too much go now
369
00:15:45,525 --> 00:15:47,759
'cause I'm so desensitized
to his nonsense.
370
00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:50,288
I let him go, "the bird saw plato
371
00:15:50,353 --> 00:15:51,953
And said there's a
rock down there."
372
00:15:52,008 --> 00:15:53,408
If these birds are killing people
373
00:15:53,459 --> 00:15:55,260
With bald heads,
you've gotta be terrified.
374
00:15:55,316 --> 00:15:57,384
But listen, this is
what I'm saying though.
375
00:15:57,444 --> 00:15:59,178
Before, about knowledge and that--
376
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:02,035
How knowledge is hassle
or success is hassle--
377
00:16:02,104 --> 00:16:04,472
That's-- now I think
378
00:16:04,536 --> 00:16:07,071
That was newton-
"knowledge is hassle."
379
00:16:07,136 --> 00:16:10,172
Now why-- but why has
plato's intelligence
380
00:16:10,244 --> 00:16:12,746
Got anything to do with the
fact that this bird dropped--
381
00:16:12,811 --> 00:16:14,913
Because he was intelligent
382
00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:16,974
And he's probably
earning a nice few quid
383
00:16:17,032 --> 00:16:20,601
By giving out whatever
messages he gave out,
384
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,616
He could afford to go on
holiday to exotic places.
385
00:16:24,698 --> 00:16:26,098
If he was working at a factory,
386
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,651
He wouldn't have been
on this beach
387
00:16:27,704 --> 00:16:30,473
With big birds dropping eggs
is what I'm saying.
388
00:16:30,542 --> 00:16:32,609
So in a way it backfired.
389
00:16:32,668 --> 00:16:35,401
His knowledge killed him.
390
00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:38,999
And that, I think,
was kierkegaard--
391
00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:40,410
"his knowledge killed him."
392
00:16:40,461 --> 00:16:42,128
He shouldn't have
been on the beach.
393
00:16:42,183 --> 00:16:45,118
He was only there having a break or
whatever from doing what he does.
394
00:16:45,189 --> 00:16:47,690
It wouldn't have happened
if he wasn't on holiday.
395
00:16:47,754 --> 00:16:51,490
( both laughing )
396
00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:57,282
This is an email we've had saying,
397
00:16:57,345 --> 00:17:00,546
"karl, what do you take
by the orwellian saying
398
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:02,520
'a stitch in time saves nine'?"
399
00:17:02,578 --> 00:17:05,246
Oh, a stitch in time
saves nine. Yeah.
400
00:17:05,312 --> 00:17:07,246
See, it's another one that--
401
00:17:07,305 --> 00:17:09,539
I don't think I've picked
up on a lot of these sayings
402
00:17:09,601 --> 00:17:12,269
That are being thrown about "
willy-nillily."
403
00:17:12,336 --> 00:17:14,003
- Willy-nillily.
- Willy-nillilily.
404
00:17:14,058 --> 00:17:15,858
- ( laughing )
- okay.
405
00:17:15,916 --> 00:17:17,316
Willy-nillily.
406
00:17:17,367 --> 00:17:20,969
No, but I-- again, it's one
of them like-- like last week.
407
00:17:21,048 --> 00:17:23,081
I've heard of it, but--
408
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:24,942
But what does "willy-nilly" mean?
409
00:17:24,999 --> 00:17:27,033
It just sort of means,
you know, "carefree."
410
00:17:27,092 --> 00:17:28,425
That's right, yeah.
411
00:17:28,477 --> 00:17:30,077
Okay, but what does
"a stitch in time"--
412
00:17:30,131 --> 00:17:32,065
So you understood "willy-nilly."
413
00:17:32,123 --> 00:17:34,323
I mean, you used it-
you said it "willy-nillily."
414
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,121
But you've sort of
got the gist of it.
415
00:17:37,188 --> 00:17:40,424
So what does "a stitch in time
saves nine" mean? - I-- I don't know.
416
00:17:40,498 --> 00:17:42,499
What do you mean, you don't know?
417
00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,860
Think about it.
A stitch in time saves nine.
418
00:17:44,922 --> 00:17:48,090
- Is it to do with sewing?
- Well, yeah, sort of.
419
00:17:48,164 --> 00:17:50,031
Uh, it's not that clear.
420
00:17:50,088 --> 00:17:51,822
So if you've got
a jacket... - Yeah.
421
00:17:51,879 --> 00:17:53,679
...And the seam starts
coming undone--
422
00:17:53,736 --> 00:17:55,937
"oh, there's a little bit of seam.
I'll leave it."
423
00:17:55,998 --> 00:17:58,533
It's getting worse and worse.
Soon your sleeve falls off.
424
00:17:58,599 --> 00:18:00,901
So you just need one stitch there.
That'd do it.
425
00:18:00,963 --> 00:18:03,698
If you do it now-
later you'll need nine stitches.
426
00:18:03,766 --> 00:18:05,801
And that of course
427
00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:08,395
Is an analogy to other things.
428
00:18:08,460 --> 00:18:10,428
But it depends if you're
busy at that point
429
00:18:10,486 --> 00:18:13,488
Becae if you've got-- if you've got
something else that needs doing,
430
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,361
That means that isn't being done
'cause you're messing about putting--
431
00:18:16,431 --> 00:18:19,701
Sorting out a hole in
your coat is what I mean.
432
00:18:19,775 --> 00:18:21,577
You can't always do
stuff straightaway.
433
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:23,567
So maybe-- I don't know.
434
00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:25,659
I don't know if there's
a middle ground
435
00:18:25,718 --> 00:18:27,585
Where you don't have
to do it straightaway.
436
00:18:27,644 --> 00:18:29,811
- But stitching--
- a stitch sometime today--
437
00:18:29,871 --> 00:18:32,005
Say in 15 or whatever,
438
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,368
Meaning you don't have
to do it straightaway.
439
00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:37,432
But just do it befe it
gets really bad. - Brilliant.
440
00:18:37,504 --> 00:18:39,037
Do you think yours is less poetic
441
00:18:39,091 --> 00:18:40,624
Than "a stitch in time saves nine"?
442
00:18:40,678 --> 00:18:44,213
So yours is-- this what you
wanted to be a quote, right?
443
00:18:44,292 --> 00:18:45,692
"well, you could do it now.
444
00:18:45,743 --> 00:18:47,777
But if you're doing something else,
then, uh...
445
00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:50,104
You know, look, well-- well,
don't do it immediately,
446
00:18:50,166 --> 00:18:52,534
But do it soon so it doesn't
get really bad."
447
00:18:52,597 --> 00:18:54,398
- Karl pilkington.
- No, but it's the same--
448
00:18:54,455 --> 00:18:56,656
That's the same way I
treat most things in life.
449
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:59,585
It's like I never go to the
doctor's unless it's really--
450
00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:02,055
That is sensible.
That is very good advice. No--
451
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:04,154
That's brilliant advice
for anyone listening.
452
00:19:04,213 --> 00:19:06,949
- Never go to the doctor's.
- Unless it's really bad.
453
00:19:07,017 --> 00:19:09,820
But that's why a lot of people die,
454
00:19:09,888 --> 00:19:11,755
Because they don't
wanna bother the doctor
455
00:19:11,812 --> 00:19:15,314
Or they're mildly embarrassed
or they don't know symptoms.
456
00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:18,226
Go to the doctor. If you're
not sure what something--
457
00:19:18,296 --> 00:19:21,998
Like you were terrified to
go and have your prostate--
458
00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:24,013
Still not been.
Not doing it. - Why not?
459
00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:25,638
I wish you wouldn't talk abouit
460
00:19:25,692 --> 00:19:27,960
'cause now suzanne will
listen to this and she'll go,
461
00:19:28,022 --> 00:19:30,390
"yeah, you haven't been,
" and start dragging it up again.
462
00:19:30,454 --> 00:19:32,755
But why are you worried
about a little--
463
00:19:32,818 --> 00:19:35,653
A qualified doct-- - I don't
know what they're doing up there.
464
00:19:35,722 --> 00:19:37,689
- Well, they just put the--
- what year are we in?
465
00:19:37,749 --> 00:19:39,516
They-- ( laughing )
466
00:19:39,572 --> 00:19:41,740
What are you talking about?
They put their finger up--
467
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,534
That's what I mean,
though. - Why?
468
00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:46,058
Why are they still using the
index finger? - ( cackling )
469
00:19:46,122 --> 00:19:48,157
What, you'd prefer the
forefinger or the thumb,
470
00:19:48,217 --> 00:19:50,085
- Would you?
- Karl: No.
471
00:19:50,142 --> 00:19:51,543
No, what I mean is we've got--
472
00:19:51,594 --> 00:19:53,662
Or a thumb on a stick?
Some kind of thumb on a stick?
473
00:19:53,723 --> 00:19:55,190
Yeah, would you prefer it to be--
474
00:19:55,242 --> 00:19:56,843
A mechanical thumb? A robot thumb?
475
00:19:56,898 --> 00:19:58,432
Why isn't it just a little camera?
476
00:19:58,485 --> 00:20:00,686
They put the camera up if they
initially discover something.
477
00:20:00,748 --> 00:20:02,615
But just put the camera
up straightaway--
478
00:20:02,673 --> 00:20:04,273
No, they don't need to.
479
00:20:04,327 --> 00:20:06,628
They pop the finger up,
feel that the prostate isn't swollen,
480
00:20:06,691 --> 00:20:09,559
Wiggle it around a little bit up-
up your back passage.
481
00:20:09,629 --> 00:20:11,229
What are you worried about?
482
00:20:11,284 --> 00:20:12,918
I don't think they need to do that.
483
00:20:12,972 --> 00:20:14,405
Are you embarrassed
about being in a room
484
00:20:14,457 --> 00:20:16,622
With your trousers around your ankles,
and a little fellow--
485
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,015
- A little bit.
- Why?
486
00:20:18,065 --> 00:20:20,063
And the other thing is
it's not just that, it?
487
00:20:20,122 --> 00:20:21,951
So you go in there.
They check your heart out,
488
00:20:22,009 --> 00:20:23,638
Which to me is the
most important thing
489
00:20:23,693 --> 00:20:25,158
'cause that's what keeps
you going, isn't it?
490
00:20:25,208 --> 00:20:27,140
- ( ricky laughs ) yeah.
- You've gotta go there.
491
00:20:27,198 --> 00:20:28,727
You're sat on the bus
stressing out, thinking,
492
00:20:28,781 --> 00:20:30,212
"o in less than half an hour
493
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,696
I'm gonna have a finger
up my ass."
494
00:20:31,748 --> 00:20:33,215
( cackling ) what is the
problem though?
495
00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:34,801
And you go in,
they check your heart.
496
00:20:34,854 --> 00:20:36,790
They probably check your
testicles and that.
497
00:20:36,848 --> 00:20:38,949
What's up with that?
They check testicles, yeah.
498
00:20:39,010 --> 00:20:41,311
Yeah, but it's all building
and you've sat there going,
499
00:20:41,372 --> 00:20:42,770
"oh, soon that will be happening."
500
00:20:42,823 --> 00:20:44,686
Yeah. - And that's
what puts me off.
501
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,644
So if they just came
round when you're asleep,
502
00:20:46,702 --> 00:20:49,203
Suzanne just let them in and goes,
"he's over there."
503
00:20:49,268 --> 00:20:51,669
And they crept up and went...
( squishy noise )... Bang.
504
00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:53,401
You go, "what are you doing?"
505
00:20:53,455 --> 00:20:56,122
I don't understand why they don't
teach you how to do it yourself.
506
00:20:56,190 --> 00:20:58,758
( cackling ) how can they-
how can they teach--
507
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:01,559
Imagine you squatting in a corner
508
00:21:01,626 --> 00:21:03,059
With one hand on your bullocks
509
00:21:03,112 --> 00:21:05,079
And the other finger up
the ass going,
510
00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:06,606
"it seems to be all right."
511
00:21:06,658 --> 00:21:08,358
Karl, you don't
understand the phrase
512
00:21:08,414 --> 00:21:09,847
"a stitch in time saves nine."
513
00:21:09,899 --> 00:21:11,633
I don't think you
should be doing any kind
514
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:14,323
Of invasive medical research
in your own human body.
515
00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:17,125
But-- but then-- - who knows
what trouble you're gonna cause?
516
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,094
- No, but then--
- you would get stuck.
517
00:21:19,151 --> 00:21:21,786
Suzanne would come out and your
fist would be up your own ass.
518
00:21:21,852 --> 00:21:25,955
( cackling )
519
00:21:27,965 --> 00:21:29,432
Okay, I think it's probably time--
520
00:21:29,484 --> 00:21:30,784
Let me just check my watch.
521
00:21:30,835 --> 00:21:32,569
Yeah, it's monkey news time.
522
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,626
Oh, chimpanzee that
monkey news, you--
523
00:21:35,697 --> 00:21:38,464
- ( monkey gibbers )
- ( morse code beeping )
524
00:21:38,532 --> 00:21:40,367
So this week, anyway, it's about--
525
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:43,125
It's more about tall buildings
and stuff. - Oh, yeah.
526
00:21:43,193 --> 00:21:46,061
There was this bloke who
was a builder. - Oh, yeah.
527
00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:47,663
And you know what
builders are like.
528
00:21:47,717 --> 00:21:49,217
They sort of move about,
don't they, from--
529
00:21:49,270 --> 00:21:51,771
From building to building,
just building.
530
00:21:51,837 --> 00:21:54,037
Well, yeah, once they built it,
the building's done
531
00:21:54,099 --> 00:21:56,633
- And they move on to build some more.
- Just building, yeah.
532
00:21:56,698 --> 00:21:58,899
So he goes to his next job
and that. - The builder?
533
00:21:58,961 --> 00:22:00,227
- The builder.
- Yep.
534
00:22:00,278 --> 00:22:02,178
He goes to like the--
535
00:22:02,236 --> 00:22:04,370
The boss of this building
who's building it.
536
00:22:04,431 --> 00:22:08,333
( laughter ) - stephen: All right.
Okay, yeah.
537
00:22:08,416 --> 00:22:10,149
And he says what unto him?
538
00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:11,570
"do you need anything building?"
539
00:22:11,621 --> 00:22:14,087
- ( ricky cackling )
- stephen: Okay.
540
00:22:14,153 --> 00:22:16,319
So anyway, so he says, "yeah yeah,
541
00:22:16,380 --> 00:22:18,213
There's plenty of work and
that going about."
542
00:22:18,269 --> 00:22:20,203
He says, "we're working
on this one here."
543
00:22:20,261 --> 00:22:22,162
He said, "get going on it.
544
00:22:22,220 --> 00:22:25,356
Like, there's your bricks and your
cement and stuff. Get on with it."
545
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:28,130
Karl: So the-- - ricky:
"any plans?" "eh... Just build."
546
00:22:28,198 --> 00:22:30,700
- Stephen: Just start building, yeah.
- Ricky: "go up."
547
00:22:30,764 --> 00:22:34,667
They're getting on with it and stuff.
It's all going well.
548
00:22:34,750 --> 00:22:37,418
But he notices that there's
someone working
549
00:22:37,485 --> 00:22:39,850
High up on the top bit.
550
00:22:39,914 --> 00:22:41,880
So anyway, he's saying the
other workers--
551
00:22:41,939 --> 00:22:43,873
He's going, "what's-
who's that up there?
552
00:22:43,931 --> 00:22:44,998
He's working on his own."
553
00:22:45,045 --> 00:22:46,145
"a little fellow, was he?"
554
00:22:46,193 --> 00:22:47,660
"the little hairy
fellow up there?"
555
00:22:47,712 --> 00:22:49,613
E's the little fellow up there
with the hard hat."
556
00:22:49,671 --> 00:22:52,472
And the other fellows are going, "look,
you know, don't ask questions.
557
00:22:52,540 --> 00:22:54,041
The boss decides who he takes on.
558
00:22:54,094 --> 00:22:55,895
We're happy to be getting
paid here."
559
00:22:55,951 --> 00:22:58,853
"don't ask questions." "well,
I'll see him when he comes down."
560
00:22:58,923 --> 00:23:01,925
So he said, "it's pretty impressive,
the work rate he's doing,
561
00:23:01,996 --> 00:23:04,297
The way he's getting from one
girder to the other."
562
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:05,760
He's swinging, is he?
563
00:23:05,811 --> 00:23:07,545
"he doesn't seem to be scared
of the heights."
564
00:23:07,601 --> 00:23:09,268
He said, "no, just let him
get on with it.
565
00:23:09,324 --> 00:23:10,691
We work well as a team."
566
00:23:10,742 --> 00:23:12,876
- Karl: So anyway--
- ricky: What nonsense is this?
567
00:23:12,936 --> 00:23:14,370
He believes all this?
568
00:23:14,423 --> 00:23:15,956
So he sees the boss and he goes,
569
00:23:16,009 --> 00:23:18,911
"who's the fellow up there?
He's pretty good."
570
00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:21,216
And he's like, "look,
just get on with the job, yeah?
571
00:23:21,277 --> 00:23:23,678
I'll pay you. Let's just all
get on with our jobs."
572
00:23:23,742 --> 00:23:26,744
Lunchtime comes. They're all sat there,
having their sandwiches.
573
00:23:26,816 --> 00:23:28,349
He's thinking, "
he'll come down in a bit."
574
00:23:28,403 --> 00:23:30,070
- He's just carrying on.
- Stephen: Is he?
575
00:23:30,125 --> 00:23:31,993
Still going and that, right?
576
00:23:32,050 --> 00:23:35,185
So the fellow says to the boss man,
he says,
577
00:23:35,257 --> 00:23:37,325
"isn't that fellow up there
578
00:23:37,385 --> 00:23:39,286
Gonna come down and join
us for lunch?"
579
00:23:39,343 --> 00:23:41,277
He said, "like I said, mate,
580
00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:43,069
Don't worry about him, right?"
581
00:23:43,126 --> 00:23:45,394
He's very secretive.
I'm suspicious about this fellow.
582
00:23:45,456 --> 00:23:47,424
I don't know why he's
working through his lunch,
583
00:23:47,482 --> 00:23:49,216
Why he's swinging
from girder to girder.
584
00:23:49,272 --> 00:23:51,206
It's weird. Go on.
585
00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:53,898
So he said, "oh, anyway,
you've reminded me that he's up there."
586
00:23:53,965 --> 00:23:56,698
He said, "he's doing a lot of
riveting and stuff up there.
587
00:23:56,767 --> 00:23:58,934
He probably needs some
more nuts to--"
588
00:23:58,994 --> 00:24:00,861
Right, sure. And what
kind of nutss that?
589
00:24:00,919 --> 00:24:02,553
Is that nuts to food or--
590
00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:04,207
So he said-- well, nuts.
591
00:24:04,262 --> 00:24:06,329
He said, "yeah, there's a
bagful of them there.
592
00:24:06,388 --> 00:24:08,422
Just put them on the hook,
send them up,
593
00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:10,082
And he can get on with his job."
594
00:24:10,136 --> 00:24:11,803
So anyway, he picks these nuts up,
right?
595
00:24:11,858 --> 00:24:14,624
Just hooks them on. They're not that heavy,
considering--
596
00:24:14,693 --> 00:24:16,726
Normally they're pretty heavy,
aren't they?
597
00:24:16,785 --> 00:24:18,254
The big bolts and stuff.
598
00:24:18,307 --> 00:24:19,944
So anyway, he has a
little glance in.
599
00:24:19,999 --> 00:24:21,801
- Oh, now what's in there?
- Nuts.
600
00:24:21,857 --> 00:24:23,462
What, you mean nuts
that you can eat?
601
00:24:23,516 --> 00:24:24,685
Nuts that you can eat.
602
00:24:24,735 --> 00:24:26,506
So they send the bag up
and he's thinking,
603
00:24:26,562 --> 00:24:27,698
"what's all that about?"
604
00:24:27,746 --> 00:24:29,852
He checks him out,
starts to stare.
605
00:24:29,912 --> 00:24:34,221
It works out he can see that it's a
little chimp running about.
606
00:24:34,309 --> 00:24:36,675
So he goes, "I'm not happy
with this." - why isn't he?
607
00:24:36,738 --> 00:24:39,372
Because he's working for
an organization that's--
608
00:24:39,438 --> 00:24:41,171
There's unions for
this sort of stuff.
609
00:24:41,228 --> 00:24:43,961
( laughing ) yeah, he's not going,
"that's amazing.
610
00:24:44,028 --> 00:24:46,367
They've got a chimp riveting
this building together."
611
00:24:46,430 --> 00:24:47,863
Yeah, that's not scary.
612
00:24:47,915 --> 00:24:50,282
He's worrying if they're
breaking union rules.
613
00:24:50,345 --> 00:24:52,311
So he goes-- - you have
talked some shit now.
614
00:24:52,368 --> 00:24:53,867
He goes to the boss and he goes,
615
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:55,917
"I've worked out what
you're playing right here."
616
00:24:55,976 --> 00:24:59,441
Is the boss sitting in a tire?
617
00:24:59,518 --> 00:25:02,953
So he goes, "look, we're just all
trying to earn a living here."
618
00:25:03,030 --> 00:25:05,564
He said, "don't get
involved in it.
619
00:25:05,629 --> 00:25:07,396
I'm happy to pay you,
but I'm paying him.
620
00:25:07,453 --> 00:25:09,720
- Don't interfere."
- ricky: He's paying him?
621
00:25:09,783 --> 00:25:12,718
And he's saying, "I'm just not happy
with this. It's not allowed."
622
00:25:12,788 --> 00:25:16,223
So the boss was saying-- - ricky:
"we pay peanuts, we get monkeys."
623
00:25:16,299 --> 00:25:18,433
He said, "to be honest, mate,
624
00:25:18,495 --> 00:25:20,762
You know, he's a great worker.
625
00:25:20,825 --> 00:25:22,392
He's known for doing what he does.
626
00:25:22,445 --> 00:25:23,545
He's a good grafter.
627
00:25:23,593 --> 00:25:25,727
If one of you is gonna go...
" "right."
628
00:25:25,788 --> 00:25:27,722
"I'm afraid I'll have to let
you go 'cause..."
629
00:25:27,780 --> 00:25:30,481
- Stephen: Blimey.
- Karl: "...He's been here longer."
630
00:25:30,549 --> 00:25:32,182
- He was made--
- none of that happened.
631
00:25:32,237 --> 00:25:34,271
- He was laid off.
- None of that happened.
632
00:25:34,331 --> 00:25:35,797
He was laid off and that.
633
00:25:35,850 --> 00:25:37,851
And that's where that saying about
634
00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:40,079
There's a lot of tower
blocks and that in america.
635
00:25:40,140 --> 00:25:43,608
It's like-- a chimp off
the old block is where--
636
00:25:43,684 --> 00:25:46,018
( laughing )
637
00:25:46,081 --> 00:25:48,349
So that's monkey news.
638
00:25:48,399 --> 00:25:52,949
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