All language subtitles for Shameless s11e11 The P Factor.eng

Look at me, right?
And look at the Queen.

I was never a fan
until it occurred to me how much

me and Ma'am have in common.

Bringing up kiddies you can't
remember the names of.

I know she's not a single parent
but she might as well be.

Plus the pair of us,
we've stuck to our guns,

her literally sometimes,
and flagshipped a dying breed.

Admired and despised equally.

Not for never lifting a finger, no.

For setting examples
through extremity.

And whether you're a bigwig
on her end or a bigwig on mine,

you've still got all your dickheads
in the middle to deal with,

snip-snip-snipping
at your benefits.

I mean, she can't not be
looking at me and thinking,

"What's your secret, Frank?"

I got shot of my kids yonks back.

Whereas she's yet to see
the back of a single one. Fine!

I've had to get out of bed
on occasion to make ends meet

whereas she, she's done
the whole thing from a chair.

And a drink for the lady.

Oh, sure, there's perks.

But, look at her lot. Brian May
prancing about on her roof.

Now look at my lot.

We know how to throw
a proper fucking paaaarty!

It's not easy having talent.

I don't mean some dolly bird
dancing away on the telly

with a bleedin' Border collie.

I mean real, proper talent.

Talent alone's not enough.

It's what you do with it that counts.

Take Mikey Wilson.

For a while
he was Chatsworth's next big thing.

Oldham, City, even old whiskey-nose
at United was said to be impressed.

But less impressed
by the arrest for drink-driving

and the gram of coke
in the glove box.

Goodbye, Theatre of Dreams.

Or then there's Gillian Cassidy,

the estate's own Meryl Streep.

You might remember her from Corrie.

She played 'Girl That Dave Smiles At
In The Rovers' back in 2009.

Sadly, Hollywood didn't
come a-knocking.

Still gets to put those acting
talents to good use though.

And then there's me.

Tony Wilson said I had something,

God bless him.

Everyone said it was going to happen.

Everybody was wrong.

It's not too late though.

But that clock's a-ticking.

Just need somebody to notice me,

because if nobody does,
if nobody cares,

what's the point?

What? I can't hear ya!
It's this bloody noise.

Shit.

A fucking jazz club?

Can we at least
pretend we're sophisticated?

You didn't mind in the Jockey.

This isn't the Jockey.

I thought that was just
a line for the fellas.

I didn't realise we were actually
going to a fucking jazz club.

Aw, she's just not wanting to show
herself up in front of her man.

He's married. I'm married.

He's just helping us
with our singing.

Well, Bernard's not really...

What?

..around much.

Is that him?

Ooh, arse like a peach!

No. He's that one... there.

Oh. Nice one. Yeah.

Whoooooo! Get in there!

Can we at least try
and pretend to be sophisticated?

Hey!

Same again?

Y'all right?

Best behaviour, all of you.
I'm warning you.

Louis, these are my friends.

This is Louis...

You were very good.

Yeah. Up there,
blowin' on your big trombone.

Trumpet.

I didn't know you were coming.

If I had, I'd have hauled
you up on stage for a song.

I wouldn't want
to embarrass myself.

She's very shy and retiring.

Yeah, we have these karaoke nights

and we practically
have to force her to do a number.

Well, with a bit of luck,
the days of karaoke might be over.

We're still batting things
back and forth

but I've spoken to my producer
friend in Baton Rouge.

I think we're on for a visit.

No way?!

So, our Patreesha
is gonna be a star then?

Being honest, a big singer
with hit albums and sold-out tours,

maybe not.

But a real singer
with a real career.

I think with a bit
of luck and effort,

yeah, that could happen.

I will drink to that.

To Pat!

To Pat!

Eh, someone's in trouble!

So, what's happening now?

Right.

I'm going to look into a few hotels,
draw up a schedule, and obviously

we're gonna have to talk about
the financial side of things.

I meant now now.

Pat.

Sorry.

No, it's my fault.

Look, it's obvious that I'm very,

very fond you, but...

I know - you're married.

My wife spends
most of the time away.

I mean, we're further apart
than strangers.

It's barely a marriage at all.

No, no, no, this is about you, Pat.

It's your big chance, kid,

and I don't want to screw things up
by mixing business with...

Still, as the expression goes

"What happens in Baton Rouge..."

We've got enough mouths to feed
without involving the feline world.

But Princess has got no home.
Dad, please!

Lesson in life, kiddo. Never
rely on the kindness of strangers.

Plus, Princess has got a penis,
so technically

if he's going to be a royal,
he's a prince, or a duke at least.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Oh, yeah?

I need them for school.
All the lads are doing it.

Right,
you get tatters deep in some woman

then you bring her panties in
and everyone has a sniff of 'em.

Why didn't you just nick
one of your mam's?

You are sick!

And don't tell me mam either.

Fuck you playing at?

I'm just returning your property.

It's a funny story actually.

Put my pants down!

Next month?

Tickets are all booked.
Never been to America.

Louis goes all the time.

God, it's really happening, isn't it?

Just don't forget us little people when
you're swanning round in your private jet.

Not gonna be like that.

That's my 18th sorted.
Stev said I can have it at his.

Stev?

Do you think his parents are fine
with him throwing some big party?

Nah, doesn't live with his parents.
He squats.

Let's take this
through to the bedroom.

Do you know what would be even
better? Big party at the Jockey.

Nah, I'd rather have a car.

Impress all your friends.

18-years-old, already a regular
in a pub, everybody knows your name.

Dead impressive, that.

We could have champagne. A free bar!

Just leave it with us, love.
Within budget.

Shit, that's Louis.
I've not finished putting my face on.

Just about the career then?

Shut it.

? Another bride

? Another tune

? Another sunny

? Honeymoon

? Another season

? Another reason

? For making whoopee

? A lot of shoes

? A lot of rice

? The groom is nervous

? He answers twice

? It's really killing

? That he's so willing

? To make

? Whoopee. ?

How have you remained a secret
all this time, Pat?

That was a little
bit off in the chorus.

Never be afraid to aim for notes
that are out of your range.

They are words to live by.

Do you think I could, erm...

Just that way.

I was totally flat, wasn't I?

You're going places, our kid.

You're barred.

What?

Oh, that? Minor misunderstanding.

You stole me mam's knickers
off the line.

That's pretty major in my book
and you've not apologised yet.

Yes, well, of course, in the shadowy
world of underwear thieves,

your mother's unmentionables have
long been considered the Holy Grail.

B-A-R-R-E-D.

Barred!

? All of me

? Why not take all of me? ?

Come on, come on, Pat, come on!

Louis!

Jesus.

Shit! Call an ambulance!

Fuck! My phone! Where's yours?

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

OK, um, Louis?

What is it?

Pills? You've got pills in there?

Louis!

No, no. Come on, love.

Stay out of the light!

Pat.

Come on!

Pat!

Bloody hell.

It's gotta be dodgy.

Nobody carries
this much cash around with them.

He's dead.

Look, I know you cared about him.
A lot.

Just died, right here in my living
room.

Pat, what are we going to
do about the money?

Why not take his shoes
while you're at it?

Might get a couple of quid for them
down at the market.

I'm thinking about you. Baton Rouge.

America. Producer.

All that takes money.

Hello? Paramedics.
Can you open the door, please?

Stand back, please.

Is he breathing?

Airway's clear,
but he's non responsive. No output.

I've just been banned from the
Jockey. And you want to know why?

They're saying that
I nicked Mimi Maguire's underwear

for the purposes of...

of 'personal gratification'.

I'm not going to judge you, Frank.

Because it wasn't me!

Tell her.

Tell her. Tell her that you stole
the witch's underwear

so you could take it to school
and sniff it!

I don't know what he's
talking about.

Jesus, that's low, Frank,
even for you.

Me? I'm the innocent party!

Hello?

It's only me,
just your friendly neighbourhood...

person. I'm just here to discuss
the misunderstanding.

Hello?

Oh, fucking hell.

So. Also a funny story...

You fucking pervert!

The lock's been forced.

Wait, is that what your look meant?

Because my look was all,
"Let's get out of here, right now."

We'll be in and out in five minutes.

You sure he's got a wife..?

Of course he's got a wife.
Why would he have lied about that?

I don't know. Just seems a bit...

bachelor-esque.

Magic. Let's break in
and critique the decor.

Fine. Just see if he's got any
contact lists, laptop, rolodex, whatever.

Proper little Miss Marple,
aren't you?

That's the problem with
nosing about.

You look hard and long enough,

you're bound to turn up something
you wish you hadn't.

So says Mr Darren bloody Smith.

Louis works much
better as a stage name.

Travel to America
all the time, did you?

Doesn't look great, does it?

No.

You were special to me, you know.

What is it exactly that you don't
trust, Pat?

My intentions,
or your own talent?

Any luck?

Yeah. Great. Got all the details.

Baton Rouge here you come.

That's my wash on.
I'll put it out later.

You all right, Mum?

Wonderful, love.

Hello?

Avril?

No. This is her phone.
I'm her sister.

Ah. Just to let you know that
I've spoken to the owners

and we're all set, so if you can
just drop the cash deposit off at the office,

we'll get the paperwork
signed and the flat's all hers.

Fantastic. Thanks.

Bye now.

I can't believe she'd do this to me.

Pound signs spinning in her eyes
the moment she saw that money.

A chance to get away from you.

Mary Mae only visits
when she wants to.

And as for Bernard... Well,
we all know about your husband.

But your sister...

That's a knife in the back.

A wound that runs deep.

Everybody thinks
I'm a fucking mug.

I didn't.

I don't know that any more.

I don't know anything.

You deserve that money.

You deserve it for all them bastards
that have used you, cast you aside.

You deserve all of it.

Every last penny.

This is your time.

Oh, ta, kid.
Good to know you're on my side.

Two quid.

What?

Oh! Oh, OK, there you go.

Keep the change.
Buy yourself something nice.

Two quid.

You sent away Princess.
Everyone is right.

You're a bad man.

Everyone? Everyone!

We're talking a small,
narrow-minded minority here...

Ah, fuck.

I came home,
they'd got in somehow.

They must have been
looking for the money.

Look at this mess.

Jesus.

Yeah.

Luckily I had the money on me.

I don't feel safe any more.
We need to get out of here.

It's only for a few days.
It won't be that bad.

Have you ever lived with my mum?
She's mental.

She's all right. And I did it for
you. Thought you'd be happy.

Oh, yeah. Stuck in a pokey
little flat with two of them.

Yeah, best news ever.

Who do you think it is
that's after the cash?

Dunno.

Loan sharks.
Moss Side drug dealers.

Whoever it is,
they obviously want their money back.

Maybe we should never have
taken the cash in the first place.

It's a bit late for that now.

You never did tell me what
you intend to do with your share.

Haven't really thought about it.

25 grand, though.

That'd be enough to, I dunno,

put down a deposit on a new place.

Like I said, haven't really
thought that far ahead.

When were you going to tell me?

I mean,
am I really that much of burden

that you'd keep pushing
and shoving me off to America,

same time you're plotting a way
to move out without even a word...

Maybe if you weren't
such a fucking victim all the time, I wouldn't have to.

Course. It's all my fault.

No, no, actually.
It's everybody else's.

It's Bernard's fault
you were too blind to the fact

that he's as bent
as a Curly Wurly.

It'll be Louis' fault
that your career will never amount to anything,

and it'll be my fault that
you're all on your own with no-one to complain to.

Right.

This one is definitely my fault then.

Where are you going?

Pat!

This is all you fucking care about.

Mum! What you doing?

Don't!

Fuck!

Like I said...
Won't be that bad.

So you stole the money?

No. We were just
holding on to it until...

Yeah. We stole it.

Maybe she was trying to protect you.
Burn the evidence.

No, she's doing
what she always does.

Making sure the whole fucking world
revolves around her.

She burnt �50,000!

Where's the bag?

She binned it.

Fuck's sake!

'You deserve that money.
You deserve all of it.'

She's fucking set me up.

I told you she were mental.

The break-in. The danger...

It's all distractions so she can
take every penny for herself.

Don't you get it?

I can honestly say
I've no idea what's going on.

Wait.

Does this mean you'll be staying
with us or you're moving out?

Give me one day, Ches,

and you won't see me for dust.

Nice car.

Yeah. It's my cousin's.

Looks like I'm having
the party at the Jockey.

Sweet. Just...

Just text us the details, yeah?

Don't need to - you're right here.

What the hell?

You arsehole.

It's not what it looks like!

It's only a blow job.

She's my cousin.
It's not like it counts!

You can shut it an' all.

It's Gallagher, isn't it?

Frank Gallagher?

I'm Maurice O'Neill.

I live in the courts, flat 19.

Congratulations.

Aye, very good.

No, it's just I heard about your...
little incident.

Oh, yeah? What are you, then? Some
have-a-go-hero - Pride of Britain,

want to make a name for yourself,
do you? Go on - try it. Dare you.

Quite the opposite.

I think it's disgusting
how this place has treated you.

The black beating heart of
our Big Society, that is.

Thou shalt judge thy fellow man,
dob him in, hound him out.

Divided we shall stand.

Lessons ripped straight
from the playbooks

of the Gestapo and the Stasi...

Couldn't agree more.
It's a fallen world.

Do you like a drink, Mr Gallagher?

Maybe I should write a book -
Touched By A Filthy Bugger.

Frank didn't actually touch you.

He pinched me fuckin' knickers.
Exposed himself to me.

Right, yeah, he's a twat

but I've never had him down
for one of them perverts.

He hasn't the energy to
wave his fucking dick about.

Probably a misunderstanding.

Flyers. I should hand out
more flyers. Warn people.

Oh!

Hello, old friend.

It's been a while.

Busy? Nope.

Good. I need your help.

I want you to kidnap my daughter.

I just want to say something -
this is a bad idea.

Fake kidnappings always backfire.

Let me worry about that.

All right. I'm just saying.
Your sister finds out about this

and your relationship
is fucked for ever.

Even worse, some nutjob finds
out about this or the cash...

and you've got proper trouble.

You know what the estate's like -
nobody can keep a fucking secret.

I'm not asking this as a favour.

I'll pay you.

200 quid - and you can keep
your opinions to yourself.

How much is she going for?

50 grand.

Fuck off! She's not worth that much.

She's worth... much more.

I just need her to hang out
here for a day, out of view.

And for you to pick up the money
when it comes through.

See, you're making this sound
really nice and easy, aren't you?

What you're really
talking about here is serious fraud.

And Shane doesn't get out of bed
for less than 500.

Done. A thousand.

What's my cut?

- You get your party.
- No.

Fine, I'll buy you a bloody car.
And you, 700 - final offer.

I like to think of us all
as snowflakes.

Each is special and unique -

mysterious in our ways.

Exactly. But that's
not what they want, is it?

Society full of obedient little
robots, punching the time clocks,

saluting the CCTV as they pass.

The main thing is, we accept
all colours under the rainbow.

As I've often said,
it's our differences that unite us.

But you'll be able to share
that with the others soon.

Right. The other... whats?

Of our little brotherhood.

Men of... certain tastes.

Oh, I'm not really
a brotherhood sort of person.

More of a lone wolf.

Because society has made you that.

Oh, it took me some time to
be strong and finally admit that,

hey, I am sexually aroused by
anthropomorphic animal characters.

Eh?

It think it was Soo from The Sooty
Show that first caused a quiver -

do you remember her?

Dirty wee panda
in that teeny-weeny red skirt.

Have you ever wondered
what a panda would look like

with breast implants, Mr Gallagher?

I'll just take these
for the road, shall I?

Don't be scared, Mr Gallagher.
You're amongst friends now.

You're no fucking friend of mine!

Where are you going to run?
There's nowhere left for you to go.

Hey!

We're all you've got!

You were right.

I should never have
taken that money.

My own daughter, Pat.

My own fucking daughter!

What we going to do?

You pay the ransom.

With what?

I've got fuck all!

I think we should call the police.

Avs...

I didn't...

I didn't burn the money.

I've still got it.

All of it.

No, you did.

I saw you.

No.

I switched it
before we even got here.

I just got so...

screwed up about you leaving.

I'm sorry.

So...

..we can...

We can pay the ransom.

It's my problem.

I brought Louis,
that money, into our lives...

Come here.

What ya doing? Nothing.

Doesn't look like nothing.

Playing hide and seek.
And you're it. Go on. Go and hide.

All right. But no peekin'.

I told you, piss off.

I'm just so, so sorry.

Yeah, I know.

No, I mean for trying to stop you
having your own life.

I've failed at everything -
career, love...

I just didn't want to admit

I'd failed at being a sister
as well, you know?

Is that them?

No. Over there.

Fuckin' hell.

Fucking hell!

Money.

If you've done anything to her...

Mum! I was so scared!
I thought I'd never see you again.

Enough with the dramatics.
Tone it down.

I want you to know something.

I will find out who you are.

And I will hurt you
for what you've done to my family.

All right? Mimi wants me to make
sure everyone's got one of these.

Billy...

No, I know she's gone a bit psycho
over the whole thing, but...

she's the wife -
her who must be obeyed.

Here y'are, Shane.
I love that bally, mate.

I'm not Shane.

What? You are. Remember
you wore that last Christmas,

at the big snowball fight -

the one where you kept
going on about getting frostbite.

I mean, come on, seriously -
it wasn't even cold

and this guy's like Scott
of the friggin' Antarctic.

What the fuck?

Her idea.

You tried to rip me off?

You tried to rip me off first!

Catfight in three, two, one...

Come on!

Fucker!

What the fuck?

It's all right. He's my neighbour,
so it doesn't count.

Twat.

I'm going to be polite.
Going to be nice.

Going to plaster on
a fake fucking smile

for your daughter's birthday party.

But after that, we split the cash
and go our separate ways.

End of.

Fine by me.

You're Patreesha, aren't you?
You knew Louis.

He died at your house.

What makes you say that?

One of us has a mate
in the hospitals.

Gave us the details.
About poor Darren Smith.

Are you family?

No. Far from it.

We're trying to get the money back.

The money he stole from all of us.

We don't know anything
about that... your money.

Louis comes over all caring.

Pretends to be married
so you feel safe.

Says you're unique, has a producer
friend in Baton Rouge,

just needs some cash
for the plane ticket

and he buggers off.

He's been pulling the scam
all over Manchester...

Ladies...

I'm sorry you were conned, but...

We don't know anything
about your cash.

What's in the bag?

I think you've made a mistake.

And as you can see,
this is a private party.

You don't want to be asked
to leave twice.

Seriously.

He didn't ask you for cash, did he?

Course he fucking didn't.

Maybe we should...

Return the money?

I earned this. This is mine.

They're probably
full of bullshit anyway.

Surprised you didn't get on
with them better.

What do you want to say to Frank?

Tam.

Sorry, Mr Gallagher.

Well, all right, no harm done.

So if you can get your arse out
there and tell the rest of them...

No, Frank.

I'm a pariah.
I've been barred from the pub!

Harangued by strangers
and neighbours alike.

Groomed by weirdos
who like pandas with breasts!

People will get over it.

People will feed on it!

They'll keep it going and going
until I'm driven off the estate.

I'm not throwing my son
to the wolves.

Maybe if you spoke to Mimi...

Tried that. Didn't work!

Maybe you didn't say
the right thing.

I'm the aggrieved party.

Why the fuck should I help you
and klepto boy over here?

I'm the best bloody neighbour
you'll ever have.

It's your word against me and Tam.

Who do you think
everyone's going to believe?

Really.

Just tell her you did it for love.

I'll show you what I found
in his locker.

And if you're anything
like the others...

you'll probably want this as well.

No need to read on, love.

It's only going to hurt you.

Very well, then.

"Patreesha St Rose.

"Middle aged, lonely,

"clearly looking for somebody
to believe in her.

"Given the right attention,
will most likely be...

"a push-over."

Are you sure you want to hear this?

Avril was right.

You've got victim written
all over you.

You're so self-centred that
anyone who spends any time with you

just wants to hurt you
or get the fuck away from you,

as fast as they can.

Worst thing is...

..you miss me.

Because you're grateful,

pathetically grateful,
for the crumbs I threw you.

Fuck off!

I stole your underwear because...

..I am sexually attracted to you.

Twat him.

For what?

For what he's just said.

It was a compliment.

I know I don't mean
the same to you.

You don't remember
the first time we met.

You don't arrange your day so that
you bump into me accidentally.

You don't mourn all the little
choices that we've made

that have led us down
separate paths. But... I do.

I, Vernon Francis Gallagher,
am so in love with you

that I had no choice
but to steal your underwear

and expose myself to you.

I feel sorry for you, Frank.

You're so messed up in there.

But...

..I'll accept yer apology.

It's very gracious of you.

This good lady's paying for my tab.

Go on, then.

You poor bastard.

We've always been mates,
but now I'm thinking...

ain't that the best way
to start off a relationship?

A mate with tits. Perfect.

Yeah.

You want to slow down there, mate.

What? She's all over me, man.
I'm hot shit.

Eh.

Rule of thumb.
Teenage girls love bad boys.

Fuckin' great, innit?

Don't worry, she'll get sick of it
and you'll be there

to pick up the pieces.

Just give it... five, six years
at least.

Pat.

You can fuck off as well.

Hey! What you doing? Cheeky cow.

My name is Patreesha

and I'm a failure.

My husband Bernard
likes to fuck other men.

My daughter doesn't ever bother
coming round any more.

Don't blame her.

And my sister just wants
to get the hell away from me.

Again, no blame.

But the man I loved, Louis,

he saw something in me

that I didn't know existed
until today.

He saw... a sucker!

Someone so desperate

that he could rip me off
without breaking sweat.

Well...

I ripped him off
for 50 fucking grand!

So who's the sucker now, you cunt?!

Bloody hell...

Yeah, that's right...50 grand!

And it's all for me. I deserve it!

So rot in hell,
you conniving bastard!

Get your hands off me!

For fuck's sake. D'you want
to highlight the fact

we've got 50 grand in a place
like this?! Come on!

It's just one big note, is it?

Jesus, Pat!

You never told me
you gave him money.

Like you fucking care.

Of course I care.

Can fuck off with the rest of 'em!

Nah, not having some wing-nuts

put the shits up me.

Go on. Piss off and take it.
S'what you want.

I'm not leaving you.

Right, what do you two twats want?

Dunno. 50 grand'd do it.

Come on then, take it.
I fucking dare you!

You got a problem with them,
you got a problem with us.

Who are you?
Fucking Neighbourhood Watch?

Where can we take you?

Just home...

Fuck that. There's a party.

Uh, look... We might know
where the money is and...

..we'll probably be able
to get it back to you.

Definitely be able
to get it back to you.

Fair's fair.

Are we going to the bloody party
or what?!

Yeah! Ooh-hoo!

'The world's full of frustrated
artists,

'yelling out for someone
to notice 'em.

'Hoping for that one moment where
someone recognises their talent.

'Sees something special in them
that nobody's seen before.

'You can wait so long that
you don't even notice the good things

'that are right there
in front of you.

'Folk that maybe can't make you
a star,

'but they've got your back,

'they've seen great things
in you all along.

'Believed in you from the start.

'So I'll keep on going,
till my last bloody breath.

'In the meantime, I'm available.

'For weddings, parties,
bar mitzvahs... You name it.

'Just don't forget
to pack your earplugs.'

- Marry me.
- Put her out of her misery.

It's finding the right moment,
innit?

I'd be crying off sick every week
if I had to do PE in that dump.

'That could be my legacy.'

I could re-build the gym.

It'll take longer than building the
Great Wall of China at this rate...

- Robbing anything like that,
you're going down. - 'Still got some trackers?'

Jamie and Shane aren't going
to be happy.

Where's the gear? I've got it.

'Two customers taxed in a week...'

It's got to be someone close to home.

What the fuck?!

Whatever it takes to be with you.

I'm out of turps.

Hurry up, then.

I'll be back tomorrow.
I've got homework.

- Looks better though, dunnit?
- How? How is that better?!

Come here, you. We're not finished!

Get back here on your hands
and knees!

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0