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1
00:00:00,622 --> 00:00:03,902
Look at me, right?
And look at the Queen.
2
00:00:04,447 --> 00:00:07,267
I was never a fan
until it occurred to me how much
3
00:00:07,328 --> 00:00:09,108
me and Ma'am have in common.
4
00:00:09,189 --> 00:00:11,749
Bringing up kiddies you can't
remember the names of.
5
00:00:11,749 --> 00:00:15,149
I know she's not a single parent
but she might as well be.
6
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:18,309
Plus, the pair of us,
we've stuck to our guns -
7
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:21,869
her, literally, sometimes -
and flagshipped a dying breed.
8
00:00:21,869 --> 00:00:24,229
Admired and despised equally.
9
00:00:24,229 --> 00:00:25,789
Not for never lifting a finger -
10
00:00:25,789 --> 00:00:29,789
no, for setting examples
through extremity.
11
00:00:29,789 --> 00:00:32,349
And whether you're a bigwig on her
end or a bigwig on mine,
12
00:00:32,349 --> 00:00:34,989
you've still got all your dickheads
in the middle to deal with -
13
00:00:34,989 --> 00:00:37,029
snip, snip, snipping at your
benefits.
14
00:00:37,029 --> 00:00:39,269
I mean, she can't not be looking
at me and thinking,
15
00:00:39,269 --> 00:00:41,469
"What's your secret, Frank?"
16
00:00:41,469 --> 00:00:44,189
I got shot of my kids yonks back,
17
00:00:44,189 --> 00:00:46,309
whereas, she's yet to see
the back of a single one.
18
00:00:46,309 --> 00:00:49,869
Fine, I've had to get out of bed
on occasion, to make ends meet,
19
00:00:49,869 --> 00:00:53,869
whereas she, she's done
the whole thing from a chair!
20
00:00:55,029 --> 00:00:56,749
Oh, and a drink for the lady.
21
00:00:56,749 --> 00:00:59,309
Oh, sure, there's perks
but, look at her lot -
22
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,669
Brian May prancing
about on her roof.
23
00:01:01,669 --> 00:01:03,989
Now, look at my lot...
24
00:01:03,989 --> 00:01:08,012
we know how to throw
a proper fucking party!
25
00:01:08,014 --> 00:01:13,092
26
00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:15,270
Why are people afraid of routine?
27
00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:18,110
I know how each day begins,
I know how it ends,
28
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:20,432
and I know what to expect
in between.
29
00:01:20,432 --> 00:01:22,392
That doesn't mean that
life's passing me by
30
00:01:22,392 --> 00:01:26,172
or that I'm stuck in me ways -
I can have fun...
31
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:30,173
..but I believe in responsibility
and reliability. It's a strength.
32
00:01:33,213 --> 00:01:35,573
Leave it to fools to rush in.
33
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:38,533
To gamble with their futures
and other people's,
34
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:41,893
to risk losing it all
because they twist, not stick.
35
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,453
As if getting a new job,
moving to a new town,
36
00:01:44,453 --> 00:01:46,653
or riding a stinking camel
across the desert
37
00:01:46,653 --> 00:01:50,653
is going to make their lives
any better.
38
00:01:51,413 --> 00:01:55,413
Just want to run a check
on a Dr Martin Fisher.
39
00:01:58,653 --> 00:02:02,653
Sticking with what you know
can only make you stronger.
40
00:02:08,373 --> 00:02:10,253
No, ta...
41
00:02:10,253 --> 00:02:13,653
I'll stick to council pop.
42
00:02:13,653 --> 00:02:16,253
Urgh!
43
00:02:16,253 --> 00:02:17,853
My head's been pickled, man.
44
00:02:17,853 --> 00:02:20,253
Small wonder,
you really went for it.
45
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:26,693
What?
46
00:02:26,693 --> 00:02:28,453
- You don't remember.
- Remember what?
47
00:02:28,453 --> 00:02:32,453
Oh, no, don't worry,
I won't say anything.
48
00:02:37,093 --> 00:02:40,013
Oh, I just got to take this. Hello?
49
00:02:40,013 --> 00:02:41,813
You're winding me up.
50
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,293
Kassi Blanco?
51
00:02:52,293 --> 00:02:53,093
No, mate.
52
00:02:53,093 --> 00:02:54,813
Yeah, I'm Kassi Blanco.
53
00:02:54,813 --> 00:02:58,813
DCI Morgan. I have a warrant
to search these premises.
54
00:03:00,293 --> 00:03:01,433
What's this all about?
55
00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:03,453
Well, it starts with fake
mortgage applications,
56
00:03:03,453 --> 00:03:07,093
goes on to spurious bank accounts,
money laundering, fraud -
57
00:03:07,093 --> 00:03:07,893
want me to go on?
58
00:03:07,893 --> 00:03:10,013
No, I have no idea what
you're talking about.
59
00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:11,973
I'll have to caution you.
60
00:03:11,973 --> 00:03:13,153
What's going on?
61
00:03:13,155 --> 00:03:17,155
It's fine, I have nothing to hide.
62
00:03:27,195 --> 00:03:31,195
Will you get that?
63
00:03:36,355 --> 00:03:39,635
Dad's asleep.
64
00:03:39,635 --> 00:03:42,915
We're looking for Dr Martin Fisher
and Kelly Ball.
65
00:03:42,915 --> 00:03:44,235
Wrong house, love.
66
00:03:44,235 --> 00:03:45,475
Mind if we have a look around?
67
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:49,475
Got a warrant?
68
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,235
What did dibble want?
69
00:03:52,235 --> 00:03:56,235
Looking for Marty and Kelly.
70
00:04:06,555 --> 00:04:08,755
Ah, I haven't worn that
jacket in ages.
71
00:04:08,755 --> 00:04:11,195
Celebrating Ramadan, were you?
72
00:04:11,195 --> 00:04:13,475
Er, godfather at a Christening.
73
00:04:13,475 --> 00:04:17,475
Need you to come down the station,
answer a few questions.
74
00:04:20,835 --> 00:04:22,635
Your accounts, your assets -
75
00:04:22,635 --> 00:04:26,395
all been frozen pending
our investigation.
76
00:04:26,395 --> 00:04:28,795
I'll be back soon.
77
00:04:28,795 --> 00:04:32,795
I can just see it now - few kids
running about, you washing the car,
78
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:38,675
me sunbathing, IKEA on a Saturday,
garden centre on a Sunday...
79
00:04:41,235 --> 00:04:45,235
Give 'em a ring, we should have
heard from 'em by now.
80
00:04:45,915 --> 00:04:49,715
Hello, yes, this is Dr Fisher...
81
00:04:49,715 --> 00:04:52,035
Sorry?
82
00:04:52,035 --> 00:04:53,755
All right, Willy Wanka?
83
00:04:53,755 --> 00:04:57,755
Just looking for some tissues,
to mop up.
84
00:05:01,235 --> 00:05:02,595
Marty, what is it?
85
00:05:02,595 --> 00:05:06,595
Oh, yeah, police were round our
place earlier, looking for you two.
86
00:05:07,835 --> 00:05:11,835
Our mortgage has been rejected.
87
00:05:14,075 --> 00:05:17,075
What we going to do?
We've lost the bleeding lot!
88
00:05:17,075 --> 00:05:17,955
We could stay here?
89
00:05:17,955 --> 00:05:19,235
Oh, piss off.
90
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:23,235
Go back to Frank's?
91
00:05:24,515 --> 00:05:28,515
Hello, Kelly, love, you all right?
92
00:05:28,555 --> 00:05:29,435
Never better.
93
00:05:29,435 --> 00:05:32,915
You look as if you've seen a ghost.
94
00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:35,715
Here you are...
95
00:05:35,715 --> 00:05:37,635
..all you need is love...
96
00:05:37,635 --> 00:05:41,635
but a likkle chocolate now
and then doesn't hurt either.
97
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:51,795
Could always...see if Lillian
would take you back?
98
00:05:54,235 --> 00:05:55,275
More, more!
99
00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:59,275
More, more, yeah!
100
00:06:00,035 --> 00:06:02,075
I hope they've gone
to a better place.
101
00:06:02,075 --> 00:06:03,955
Chinese Dave's made sure of it.
102
00:06:03,955 --> 00:06:05,035
What?
103
00:06:05,035 --> 00:06:07,795
I said stop squawking and get
on with the cleaning.
104
00:06:07,795 --> 00:06:10,995
It's a hot tub, not a duck pond!
105
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:13,035
Duck shit's a right bugger to shift.
106
00:06:13,035 --> 00:06:17,035
Vodka and baking soda -
works every time.
107
00:06:21,435 --> 00:06:22,275
What's going on?
108
00:06:22,275 --> 00:06:23,795
Nothing. No charges.
109
00:06:23,795 --> 00:06:26,115
Money laundering, fraud -
didn't sound like nothing.
110
00:06:26,115 --> 00:06:28,395
Nothing, for now.
111
00:06:28,395 --> 00:06:30,635
I can help get a brief, you know,
get this sorted.
112
00:06:30,635 --> 00:06:32,915
Jamie, believe me,
I know what I'm doing.
113
00:06:32,915 --> 00:06:35,515
It's not a pub brawl.
114
00:06:35,515 --> 00:06:39,515
I really shouldn't have tried to
pass Marty and Kelly off as doctors.
115
00:06:39,635 --> 00:06:40,835
What, this is their fault?
116
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:44,835
No, no, tip of the iceberg.
117
00:06:46,795 --> 00:06:50,795
Daft buggers didn't look everywhere!
118
00:06:52,075 --> 00:06:53,955
Pension, eh?
119
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,035
You're going to chip,
just like that?
120
00:06:56,035 --> 00:07:00,035
Well, one door closes,
another one opens.
121
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:05,555
Right, I'm going to start packing!
122
00:07:06,835 --> 00:07:10,115
What the fuck's going on?
123
00:07:10,115 --> 00:07:14,115
I just need somewhere
to lay low for a few days.
124
00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:25,195
What's happening here?
125
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:26,875
I'll tell you what's happening here.
126
00:07:26,875 --> 00:07:30,315
I've got five minutes, Shane,
I don't want any pissing about,
127
00:07:30,315 --> 00:07:32,875
I just want you
to fuck me from behind
128
00:07:32,875 --> 00:07:35,195
and stick your thumb up my arse.
129
00:07:35,195 --> 00:07:36,395
Are you taking the piss?
130
00:07:36,395 --> 00:07:40,395
Do I look like I'm taking the piss?
131
00:07:41,275 --> 00:07:42,875
Shane?
132
00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:45,115
You in, mate?
133
00:07:45,115 --> 00:07:48,715
I won't warn you again, Maguire,
this is the third time in a month
134
00:07:48,715 --> 00:07:51,515
we've had complaints about
underage drinking!
135
00:07:51,515 --> 00:07:53,995
How many times do I have
to come over?
136
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,435
I'll sort it.
137
00:07:55,435 --> 00:07:59,435
You'd better.
138
00:08:00,315 --> 00:08:02,115
Sick of the sight of that lot today.
139
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,355
What you doing here anyway?
140
00:08:03,355 --> 00:08:04,955
I need a favour,
you still got the van?
141
00:08:04,955 --> 00:08:06,115
Yes, why?
142
00:08:06,115 --> 00:08:10,115
My brother's screwed up -
for once, it's not you.
143
00:08:15,675 --> 00:08:17,355
What the fuck do you want?
144
00:08:17,355 --> 00:08:19,035
I want you two to do one, now.
145
00:08:19,035 --> 00:08:20,915
Hang on, you can't tell
us what to do.
146
00:08:20,915 --> 00:08:24,915
I just did. You've got 20 minutes to
pack up and leave.
147
00:08:25,835 --> 00:08:29,835
Ha!
148
00:08:30,235 --> 00:08:32,675
Now!
149
00:08:32,675 --> 00:08:36,675
I swear down!
150
00:08:45,115 --> 00:08:46,555
I'm not doing it.
151
00:08:46,555 --> 00:08:50,315
I'm not coming back
to this life, Marty.
152
00:08:50,315 --> 00:08:54,315
Up shit creek
in a barbed wire canoe!
153
00:08:54,995 --> 00:08:58,915
You know what? Fuck it! Let's just
go! We were going to do anyway.
154
00:08:58,915 --> 00:09:00,955
That's when we thought we had
somewhere to go to!
155
00:09:00,955 --> 00:09:03,075
We're back to square one!
156
00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:04,355
I like square ones!
157
00:09:04,355 --> 00:09:08,155
Look, you said so yourself,
the estate's dead from the neck up!
158
00:09:08,155 --> 00:09:11,875
We've got nowt
but the clothes on our back.
159
00:09:11,875 --> 00:09:15,795
That's all we've ever had...
160
00:09:15,795 --> 00:09:19,795
..and at least they're ours.
161
00:09:32,275 --> 00:09:36,275
Give us a hand with this, Jamie.
162
00:09:50,995 --> 00:09:54,995
It stinks here.
163
00:09:55,235 --> 00:09:58,115
I can sort the lekky easy enough.
Maybe get a cleaner in...
164
00:09:58,115 --> 00:10:00,195
We can manage.
165
00:10:00,195 --> 00:10:02,035
It's not quite what
you're used to, is it?
166
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:06,035
Oh, no, honestly, it's fine.
167
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,315
Look...
168
00:10:08,315 --> 00:10:10,355
we'll be OK.
169
00:10:10,355 --> 00:10:12,955
I'll leave you to it then.
170
00:10:12,955 --> 00:10:16,955
Thanks, Jamie.
171
00:10:18,115 --> 00:10:19,915
I'm going to bagsy a bedroom.
172
00:10:19,915 --> 00:10:23,915
Not before me!
173
00:10:35,355 --> 00:10:39,355
Careful where you put that
lollipop stick.
174
00:10:40,755 --> 00:10:43,019
Who the hell are you lot?
175
00:10:54,442 --> 00:10:56,562
You should've seen the look
on his face when we pulled up.
176
00:10:56,646 --> 00:10:57,926
He's been here before.
177
00:10:57,926 --> 00:11:00,126
Yeah, only for an afternoon.
178
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:03,406
He might've thought it was colourful
then but now he has to live here.
179
00:11:03,406 --> 00:11:05,326
Kassi's not like that.
180
00:11:05,326 --> 00:11:08,206
No? I never asked to be
dragged into this.
181
00:11:08,206 --> 00:11:11,886
I went for a beer, ended up
sat in handcuffs wondering what the fuck'sgoing on.
182
00:11:11,886 --> 00:11:13,486
It's not like he planned it.
183
00:11:13,486 --> 00:11:17,486
"Live a little, Jamie."
Like I'm the one needs help.
184
00:11:17,526 --> 00:11:19,806
He treats me
like his fucking driver.
185
00:11:19,806 --> 00:11:20,466
Has she gone then?
186
00:11:20,466 --> 00:11:21,406
Who?
187
00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:22,940
Swear word.
188
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,140
What you talking about?
189
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:25,980
I'm not going to say her name...
190
00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:29,180
She means Kelly.
191
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:33,180
She's gone, Lillian.
192
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:36,300
What was I thinking,
bringing them here?
193
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,780
They needed somewhere to go,
and you found them a place.
194
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:42,180
It's not exactly a match, is it, the
Blancos and the Chatsworth estate?
195
00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:44,620
It might do you good to spend
a bit more time together.
196
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,700
Going for a few beers I can handle.
197
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:50,700
His smug face at my doorstep 24-7
I did not sign up for.
198
00:11:57,340 --> 00:12:01,340
Stella, couple more beers?
199
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:02,980
How d'you get that?
200
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:04,180
Twocking.
201
00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:07,580
You hear about that grandma
who got one for playing Frank Sinatra all the time?
202
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:11,140
- Really?
- Yeah.
203
00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:12,700
Stella, they're warm!
204
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:16,060
Oi!
205
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:18,620
I'll cut your cock off
when I catch you!
206
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:22,620
This place is messed up.
207
00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:27,420
Stella! I'm gonna
punch your head in!
208
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:36,580
Ta-da!
209
00:12:36,580 --> 00:12:39,740
Took a lot of guts to come here, you
know? Never been of my own accord.
210
00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:41,860
Don't be so bloody soft, Shane.
211
00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:43,980
What?
212
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:47,980
Just want to finish what
we nearly started.
213
00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:51,180
- They had you in as well, Maguire?
- No, Jack.
214
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:52,140
Wankers.
215
00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:54,980
Yeah.
216
00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:58,460
Absolutely.
217
00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:01,940
Look, I've gotta go back to work.
218
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:05,940
Might nip to the bogs
for a diddle first, though.
219
00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:21,860
Gastric Bandits?
220
00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:24,700
Bloody hell, Frank,
could you be any more offensive?
221
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,860
No, no, they love it.
222
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:30,740
I love it. Once a week
we get up to all sorts, fantastic.
223
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:34,740
It's mutually beneficial,
and we have an agreement.
224
00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:38,820
Mind you, might have to find
a new venue now, though.
225
00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:41,380
Oh, don't worry about that.
We'll be gone before you know it.
226
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:44,500
Oh, that's a shame.
227
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:48,220
A little nonsense now and then is
relished by the wisest men.
228
00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:52,100
Ever tried a wigwam?
229
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:56,100
What's that?
230
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:13,060
Me and Kassi tried it once with
a woman we met in Marrakech.
231
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:19,900
C'est Kassi nouveau. Utilisez ce
numero, les policiers ont l'autre.
232
00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:29,660
Ta.
233
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,180
Are these mushrooms any good?
234
00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:35,180
Any good? They're Amsterdam
shit yer pants good!
235
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:43,500
Oh, my God!
236
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,940
Strong, aren't they?
237
00:14:44,940 --> 00:14:48,940
They are, yeah.
238
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:57,980
Me Mam used to do that...
239
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:06,620
Frank?
240
00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:15,980
I let her down, Esther.
I let her down.
241
00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:20,140
Don't cry, Frank. Here,
let me get you another drink.
242
00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:24,180
Got none.
243
00:15:24,180 --> 00:15:28,180
There's a shop in the square.
244
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:37,700
Oh, God.
245
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:50,900
Oh.
246
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:57,660
Miss her?
247
00:15:57,660 --> 00:15:59,420
Miss who, love?
248
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:00,820
Swear word.
249
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:03,700
She was like a daughter to me.
250
00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,860
Apart from the prostitute bit.
251
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,380
She stole from you.
252
00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:11,380
That's family for you.
253
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:16,700
You told your mum about
them moving in yet?
254
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,180
Been avoiding it.
255
00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:20,540
He's made it pretty clear
what he thinks of Mam.
256
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,580
He'll say something smartarse,
she'll say something insulting.
257
00:16:23,580 --> 00:16:25,900
And then I'll have to sort it.
Again.
258
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:29,900
It'll be worse if Mimi
sniffs them out first.
259
00:16:30,460 --> 00:16:31,900
I'll go round tomorrow.
260
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:35,900
I'm seeing the words shit and fan...
261
00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:38,380
Get away, boy!
262
00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:42,180
No, get away.
263
00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:44,900
Down boy, down.
264
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:48,900
Tam?
265
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:50,580
Whose is this dog?
266
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:52,380
Woof woof!
267
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:53,860
What's going on out here?
268
00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:57,340
He's my lad. Tam,
get inside the house!
269
00:16:57,340 --> 00:17:01,340
No worries, love. We've all been
there. A son wouldn't be a son
270
00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:04,420
if he didn't go off the rails
every now and again.
271
00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:06,060
So you're our new neighbours?
272
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:10,060
We are, yeah. I'm Esther Blanco. My
husband's Jamie Maguire's brother.
273
00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:11,580
Bit of a funny story, actually.
274
00:17:11,580 --> 00:17:14,460
He's only just found out he's got
a brother, turns out his mum
275
00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:17,580
had a threesome, totally forgot
that her husband had been up her...
276
00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:19,460
I'll stop you there, love.
277
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:20,980
I'm Mimi.
278
00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:24,980
I'm Jamie's mother!
279
00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:30,820
What's he on?
280
00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:32,940
Industrial strength mushrooms.
281
00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:36,020
Forgot to mention, your new
stepmum's Chatsworth's answer
282
00:17:36,020 --> 00:17:38,380
to Pablo Escobar,
283
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:42,380
only she's got a bigger 'tache.
284
00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:08,060
Even God got to relax on a Sunday.
285
00:18:08,060 --> 00:18:10,700
What's this shite
they've got on anyway?
286
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:14,700
I like it. What's this
shite you're reading?
287
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:21,740
Thalia, turn that down!
288
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:26,060
Aargh!
289
00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:31,180
Easier to train a dog than
a Saul, eh, Tam?
290
00:18:31,180 --> 00:18:35,180
Yeah, if you're going to do drugs,
don't get caught.
291
00:18:36,420 --> 00:18:38,940
Milkman.
292
00:18:38,940 --> 00:18:40,660
Hi, I thought you might er...
293
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:42,140
Hi Frank, you eaten?
294
00:18:42,140 --> 00:18:45,380
No.
295
00:18:45,380 --> 00:18:49,100
Christening the new abode
last night, were we?
296
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:53,100
Walls, paper thin.
297
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,660
What is it?
298
00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:06,660
He'll expect Waitrose,
not bloody Chesco.
299
00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:12,900
Is that tramp living here now?
300
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:16,900
Leave him alone. I like Cha Cha.
301
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:19,460
Ring me.
302
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,020
Still no joy?
303
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:23,700
Well, it's Sunday morning.
It's earlier in France.
304
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:25,020
All right, pal?
305
00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:27,980
Careful Frank,
he's a zero-watt bulb.
306
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:30,380
Fancy a game of idiots, Cha Cha?
307
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:32,940
Go on then, how do you play it?
308
00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:35,460
Saul, here!
309
00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:39,460
Don't ever do that again,
you hear me?
310
00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:43,660
Go to the shop round the corner
and get some eggs.
311
00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:48,500
Could have been worse, Frank.
312
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:49,780
Come in, come in.
313
00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:52,300
I'm Karen - we've just brought
you some bits...
314
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:54,180
Oh, thank you, you didn't have to...
315
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:56,460
All right, Jamie.
Just welcoming the family.
316
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:57,340
Yeah, piss off, Frank.
317
00:19:57,340 --> 00:20:01,340
Yeah, will do.
318
00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:05,340
I found this baby oil.
Can I rub it on your arse cheeks?
319
00:20:05,340 --> 00:20:09,340
How much of that book have you read?
320
00:20:10,180 --> 00:20:14,180
Oh, babe.
321
00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:16,100
I do understand, you know.
322
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:19,700
How it feels when your chicks
have flown the nest.
323
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:21,740
You comparing my kids to ducks?
324
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:23,420
All right to have
a quick shower, Mam?
325
00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:27,420
Why not. Every other fucker's
interrupted me peace.
326
00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,980
Fucking hell, Mam, what you doing?
327
00:20:36,980 --> 00:20:40,980
Do you know anything about our Jamie
and those arseholes next door?
328
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:45,020
Yeah, he borrowed the
van off me yesterday.
329
00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:47,180
And I'm the last one to know as per?
330
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:50,420
How am I supposed to know
that you didn't know?
331
00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:53,700
You would if any of you bothered
coming to see me any more.
332
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:55,860
I'm here now, aren't I?
333
00:20:55,860 --> 00:20:58,820
Are you here to see me
or use the facilities?
334
00:20:58,820 --> 00:21:01,060
This place isn't a hotel, you know.
335
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,460
Hotels have locks on the doors!
336
00:21:03,460 --> 00:21:05,540
Don't forget to wash your bell end.
337
00:21:05,540 --> 00:21:09,540
Piss off!
338
00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:16,220
You don't want to encourage Frank,
you know. He's a parasite.
339
00:21:16,220 --> 00:21:18,780
Ah, it's fine. Esther's fond of him.
340
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:20,100
You'll never get rid.
341
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:22,380
We'll be away soon anyway.
342
00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:25,300
Oh, yeah, the big mystery.
343
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:28,700
No, no. No mystery.
We're going to France.
344
00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:32,340
I've got an investment out there,
just about ripe.
345
00:21:32,340 --> 00:21:34,620
You think the police are gonna
let you jet off
346
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:36,460
and enjoy the European vibe?
347
00:21:36,460 --> 00:21:38,140
Why are you so bothered?
348
00:21:38,140 --> 00:21:40,180
I was sat in handcuffs
day before yesterday.
349
00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:42,780
If you've dragged me into this shit,
I want to know about it.
350
00:21:42,780 --> 00:21:46,540
You drag yourself into shit if our
night out is anything to go by.
351
00:21:46,540 --> 00:21:48,140
What's that supposed to mean?
352
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,820
Wouldn't you love to know?
353
00:21:50,820 --> 00:21:53,500
Can you not just answer
a straight fucking question?
354
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,620
Calm down. Keep moving,
that's my motto.
355
00:21:56,620 --> 00:21:59,420
No point hanging around.
356
00:21:59,420 --> 00:22:02,140
"Stop you right there, love.
I'm Jamie's mother!"
357
00:22:02,140 --> 00:22:05,460
Wish I'd been there.
358
00:22:05,460 --> 00:22:09,460
Got them!
359
00:22:14,260 --> 00:22:16,340
Well at least they're eggs.
360
00:22:16,340 --> 00:22:20,220
You lot, outside.
361
00:22:20,220 --> 00:22:21,620
Coffee?
362
00:22:21,620 --> 00:22:23,460
No, ta, best get off.
Need to see me mum.
363
00:22:23,460 --> 00:22:24,700
Have some breakfast first.
364
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:28,700
Yeah, Mimi won't feed you.
365
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,100
What do you think you're doing?
366
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,380
Chillaxing.
367
00:22:49,380 --> 00:22:51,380
That hot tub belongs to me.
368
00:22:51,380 --> 00:22:52,460
It's in our garden.
369
00:22:52,460 --> 00:22:54,260
Are you our new grandma?
370
00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:56,500
No, I'm your worst nightmare.
371
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:59,620
Now get out of there.
372
00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:01,820
Get out!
373
00:23:01,820 --> 00:23:03,460
Get out!
374
00:23:03,460 --> 00:23:07,460
OK, pipe down, saggy tits.
375
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:11,020
I'll drag you outta there,
you little dipstick.
376
00:23:11,020 --> 00:23:15,020
Mam! Mam!
377
00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:17,802
What you doing?
378
00:23:20,777 --> 00:23:24,137
Don't ever lay a finger on him
again! Or any of them!
379
00:23:24,137 --> 00:23:27,937
Or what?! And what the fuck are you
playing at moving them in?!
380
00:23:27,937 --> 00:23:29,897
I'm just helping them out.
He's family.
381
00:23:29,897 --> 00:23:32,297
Not my fucking family!
382
00:23:32,297 --> 00:23:33,657
Morning...
383
00:23:33,657 --> 00:23:35,057
Ah, another Maguire boy!
384
00:23:35,057 --> 00:23:37,017
You any better at keeping
your mother under control?
385
00:23:37,017 --> 00:23:39,343
- What?
- He's my husband!
386
00:23:39,946 --> 00:23:41,986
You're proper giving me tinnitus.
387
00:23:41,986 --> 00:23:45,986
Get that hot tub back in my yard,
pronto!
388
00:23:52,266 --> 00:23:56,266
I'll sort this.
389
00:24:00,746 --> 00:24:02,266
What you doing?
390
00:24:02,266 --> 00:24:03,466
Thought you'd want to see me.
391
00:24:03,466 --> 00:24:05,266
Not here!
392
00:24:05,266 --> 00:24:09,266
Put your hands down my pants.
I dare you.
393
00:24:09,346 --> 00:24:10,946
Cuff me.
394
00:24:10,946 --> 00:24:13,186
Oh, you dirty bastard.
395
00:24:13,186 --> 00:24:15,066
What's going on?
396
00:24:15,066 --> 00:24:17,786
It's all cool, Mam, I've just
got to answer some questions
397
00:24:17,786 --> 00:24:19,226
about Shane's World.
398
00:24:19,256 --> 00:24:23,136
Boys will be boys, eh, Mimi?
399
00:24:23,136 --> 00:24:25,056
You - get in, dickhead.
400
00:24:25,056 --> 00:24:26,456
But...
401
00:24:26,456 --> 00:24:30,456
NOW!
402
00:24:34,816 --> 00:24:38,816
They've got one of those big
plasmas next door.
403
00:24:46,016 --> 00:24:50,016
Need to nip this in the bud, Frank,
she's getting out of control.
404
00:24:52,776 --> 00:24:56,776
? Confusion in her eyes that says it
all, she's lost control
405
00:24:59,016 --> 00:25:02,976
? And she's clinging to the nearest
passer by, she's lost control... ?
406
00:25:09,376 --> 00:25:12,456
You're really putting your mum
through it, you know.
407
00:25:12,456 --> 00:25:16,456
Look, it's hard for her, watching
you grow up, make bad decisions.
408
00:25:17,936 --> 00:25:20,456
I'm sorry for putting you
through it.
409
00:25:20,456 --> 00:25:23,896
Doesn't bother me. I actually
think they're all right.
410
00:25:23,896 --> 00:25:26,136
Kids seem like a right laugh.
411
00:25:26,136 --> 00:25:29,936
It's just, hard for your Mum,
you know?
412
00:25:29,936 --> 00:25:31,216
Really?
413
00:25:31,216 --> 00:25:33,576
Just buy her a bunch of flowers
every now and then.
414
00:25:33,576 --> 00:25:36,576
You know, show her that you care.
415
00:25:36,576 --> 00:25:40,456
I'll do me best.
416
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:43,136
I'm glad we can have
a chat like this, you know,
417
00:25:43,136 --> 00:25:45,776
father to son.
418
00:25:45,776 --> 00:25:49,776
See you later, mate.
419
00:25:51,296 --> 00:25:55,296
Oh, mmm. Oh, God, yeah.
Like that, like that.
420
00:25:55,936 --> 00:25:58,176
Ahhhh!
421
00:25:58,176 --> 00:26:01,616
Juliet Bravo! Jane Tennison!
422
00:26:01,616 --> 00:26:05,616
Cagney and Lacey! Dave...
Cree...gan!
423
00:26:08,256 --> 00:26:10,096
Aaaaah!
424
00:26:10,096 --> 00:26:14,096
Fuck.
425
00:26:17,416 --> 00:26:21,416
Right. Back to work.
426
00:26:21,536 --> 00:26:23,136
What?
427
00:26:23,136 --> 00:26:24,136
What about me?
428
00:26:24,136 --> 00:26:28,136
You can wank on me tits,
but you'll have to be quick.
429
00:26:28,256 --> 00:26:32,256
Right.
430
00:26:36,616 --> 00:26:39,896
'Any units near the Chatsworth
Estate, please proceed...'
431
00:26:39,896 --> 00:26:42,296
Tell you what,
why don't we save it for later?
432
00:26:42,296 --> 00:26:43,976
I love a messy cream pie.
433
00:26:43,976 --> 00:26:47,976
I'll be there in three minutes, guv.
434
00:26:51,936 --> 00:26:54,976
Try it again.
435
00:27:03,256 --> 00:27:06,616
Boarding pass.
So your ferry leaves on Tuesday?
436
00:27:06,616 --> 00:27:10,616
Yes. Cherbourg is nearer to
Brittany that Caen, isn't it?
437
00:27:10,976 --> 00:27:14,976
How would I know
with my dull little life?
438
00:27:15,296 --> 00:27:18,256
Mind if I check my e-mails
while I'm here?
439
00:27:18,256 --> 00:27:19,696
Knock yourself out.
440
00:27:28,576 --> 00:27:32,576
Here you are, lads. Watch this.
441
00:27:38,616 --> 00:27:42,616
In three, two, one...
442
00:27:47,016 --> 00:27:50,416
He's pure mental!
443
00:27:50,416 --> 00:27:52,656
How's it going, fella?
Nice to see you.
444
00:27:52,656 --> 00:27:54,696
Nice to see you, mate.
445
00:27:54,696 --> 00:27:56,616
Do you know him?
446
00:27:56,616 --> 00:28:00,616
Apparently, yeah.
447
00:28:12,856 --> 00:28:16,816
Sorry, love,
this is a no smoking area.
448
00:28:16,816 --> 00:28:19,496
Who the hell does she think she is?!
449
00:28:19,496 --> 00:28:23,256
I know, you can
smoke in here.
450
00:28:23,256 --> 00:28:27,256
Mmmm.
451
00:28:34,096 --> 00:28:37,416
Go in there and ask Mimi
if she's ever done space docking.
452
00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:39,176
Space docking?!
453
00:28:40,776 --> 00:28:44,776
Mate - she'll go sick!
454
00:28:45,496 --> 00:28:47,656
I like them.
455
00:28:47,656 --> 00:28:49,216
Two pair for �7, Wigan Market.
456
00:28:49,216 --> 00:28:54,096
Mimi, have you ever
done space docking?
457
00:28:54,096 --> 00:28:56,296
Fucking space docking?!
458
00:28:56,296 --> 00:29:00,296
Coming round here, corrupting
our kids! Lowering the tone!
459
00:29:03,336 --> 00:29:07,336
I don't know where you come from,
but this is a nice estate,
460
00:29:07,816 --> 00:29:10,696
for nice people!
461
00:29:10,696 --> 00:29:11,696
Calm down, Mam.
462
00:29:11,696 --> 00:29:15,416
Calm down? Shut the fuck up, Judas!
463
00:29:15,416 --> 00:29:16,616
What's that mean?
464
00:29:16,616 --> 00:29:18,256
You know exactly what it means.
465
00:29:18,256 --> 00:29:22,176
It's just kids mucking about.
What's it matter?
466
00:29:22,176 --> 00:29:26,176
It matters to me!
467
00:29:31,736 --> 00:29:34,136
Billy, home!
468
00:29:34,136 --> 00:29:35,496
But it's my turn.
469
00:29:35,496 --> 00:29:39,496
I won't tell you again...
470
00:29:55,616 --> 00:29:56,856
It's not funny.
471
00:29:56,856 --> 00:30:00,856
Oh, it is though, Esther.
472
00:30:03,816 --> 00:30:06,896
What's wrong?
473
00:30:06,896 --> 00:30:10,896
Kassi!
474
00:30:13,816 --> 00:30:17,816
Fuck sake.
475
00:30:18,416 --> 00:30:21,536
Dad, what's the matter?
476
00:30:21,536 --> 00:30:24,096
Kassi?
477
00:30:24,096 --> 00:30:28,096
Kassi? Where you going, mate?!
478
00:30:28,456 --> 00:30:32,456
Hey!
479
00:30:41,216 --> 00:30:45,216
Kassi! Stop! What you doing?
480
00:30:46,096 --> 00:30:47,496
What the fuck's going on?
481
00:30:47,496 --> 00:30:49,416
It has nothing to do with you!
482
00:30:49,416 --> 00:30:52,376
Really? Feels like it's got
everything to do with me.
483
00:30:52,376 --> 00:30:54,696
My family, my pub, my fucking world.
484
00:30:54,696 --> 00:30:56,656
Know whose that is?
485
00:30:56,656 --> 00:30:57,776
No.
486
00:30:57,776 --> 00:31:01,776
Good.
487
00:31:01,976 --> 00:31:03,061
Coming?
488
00:31:11,633 --> 00:31:13,233
I mean, where were you going?
489
00:31:13,233 --> 00:31:14,313
France.
490
00:31:14,313 --> 00:31:15,873
I meant, in this.
491
00:31:15,873 --> 00:31:18,193
Before you realised
the tank was empty?
492
00:31:18,193 --> 00:31:19,633
Fight or flight, Jamie.
493
00:31:19,633 --> 00:31:21,233
You don't know where you're going,
494
00:31:21,233 --> 00:31:24,153
you don't know what you're doing,
what do you know?
495
00:31:24,153 --> 00:31:26,153
Fuck all. That's the truth,
isn't it?
496
00:31:26,153 --> 00:31:29,873
You cause chaos and expect everyone
else to clean up your mess.
497
00:31:29,873 --> 00:31:31,553
I never asked for your help!
498
00:31:31,553 --> 00:31:33,193
It didn't stop you taking it!
499
00:31:33,193 --> 00:31:36,113
I've been chasing your tail
for two days and are you grateful?
500
00:31:36,113 --> 00:31:39,913
Are you fuck!
501
00:31:39,913 --> 00:31:42,313
Oh yeah, that's it, walk away.
502
00:31:42,313 --> 00:31:44,673
Where are you gonna run to
this time, eh?
503
00:31:44,673 --> 00:31:48,673
Spain, Mexico, Kuala fucking Lumpur?
504
00:31:53,353 --> 00:31:57,033
Yeah, you sit there coming up
with your next big story.
505
00:32:00,953 --> 00:32:04,953
I don't know what to do.
506
00:32:22,953 --> 00:32:25,193
Where's Dad?
507
00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:29,193
Don't worry, he'll be back.
508
00:32:41,673 --> 00:32:44,033
So what was this big idea?
509
00:32:44,033 --> 00:32:45,673
Pear cider,
510
00:32:45,673 --> 00:32:48,593
invested in a couple
of units in Brittany.
511
00:32:48,593 --> 00:32:52,593
Are you taking the piss?
512
00:32:52,753 --> 00:32:55,633
You really are a screw-up.
513
00:32:55,633 --> 00:32:58,113
I never lost this much before.
514
00:32:58,113 --> 00:33:02,073
Always had a back-up, never thought
it would all go to shit all at once.
515
00:33:02,073 --> 00:33:05,633
I don't know how you live day
to day like that, I really don't.
516
00:33:05,633 --> 00:33:09,633
Well, that's because your apron
strings are still umbilical cords.
517
00:33:10,033 --> 00:33:12,313
Family's family.
518
00:33:12,313 --> 00:33:15,433
I'm not sure mine will be
that pleased to see me.
519
00:33:15,433 --> 00:33:16,993
You'll be all right.
520
00:33:16,993 --> 00:33:18,953
Esther and the kids adore you,
521
00:33:18,953 --> 00:33:22,953
think the sun shines out
of your arse. Fuck knows why.
522
00:33:26,913 --> 00:33:29,273
Look...
523
00:33:29,273 --> 00:33:31,833
I might need to hang around
for a while.
524
00:33:31,833 --> 00:33:33,873
Just until I get back on my feet.
525
00:33:33,873 --> 00:33:37,873
If you can make things right with
Mam, then, maybe it could work.
526
00:33:44,873 --> 00:33:47,553
One more thing...
527
00:33:47,553 --> 00:33:50,793
What did happen,
the night we went out?
528
00:33:50,793 --> 00:33:54,793
Anyone ever tell you you
worry too much?
529
00:34:05,993 --> 00:34:09,513
That how you deal with all your
problems, just throw food at it?
530
00:34:09,513 --> 00:34:13,513
I've lived in a war zone
and I don't fancy doing it again.
531
00:34:17,073 --> 00:34:20,273
Saul, take these round to Mimi,
tell her you're sorry.
532
00:34:20,273 --> 00:34:21,913
Oh, do I have to?
533
00:34:21,913 --> 00:34:25,913
Yes.
534
00:34:27,313 --> 00:34:28,513
Will you come with me Cha Cha?
535
00:34:28,513 --> 00:34:32,113
Yeah.
536
00:34:32,113 --> 00:34:36,113
Don't forget to invite
her for dinner, eight o'clock.
537
00:34:36,393 --> 00:34:40,193
Tell your mother
she can stick it up her arse!
538
00:34:40,193 --> 00:34:43,713
And you turn up to work
looking like that, Gallagher,
539
00:34:43,713 --> 00:34:47,713
and I'll cut your knackers off.
540
00:34:49,153 --> 00:34:53,153
Do you think she'll come?
541
00:34:55,833 --> 00:34:59,833
I'm gonna fuck you like you've
never been fucked before.
542
00:35:02,753 --> 00:35:04,073
Shane?
543
00:35:04,073 --> 00:35:08,073
Fuck, it's Jamie, hide!
544
00:35:13,033 --> 00:35:14,193
You all right towel head?
545
00:35:14,193 --> 00:35:15,233
You all right?
546
00:35:15,233 --> 00:35:16,553
Aye.
547
00:35:16,553 --> 00:35:18,713
Fuck me, have you
ODed on Viagra or something?
548
00:35:18,713 --> 00:35:20,593
Nah, nah, nah, it's just...
549
00:35:20,593 --> 00:35:24,593
..sit down, take the weight
off your head.
550
00:35:28,913 --> 00:35:31,433
How's it going with Ali Baba, then?
551
00:35:31,433 --> 00:35:34,913
Total disaster.
Mam's going mental.
552
00:35:34,913 --> 00:35:38,553
That's good...
553
00:35:38,553 --> 00:35:40,193
What's good?
554
00:35:40,193 --> 00:35:42,713
Mam... Ali Baba.
555
00:35:42,713 --> 00:35:43,873
What's up with you?
556
00:35:43,873 --> 00:35:47,873
Nothing, why?
557
00:35:49,713 --> 00:35:52,713
Are you banging that pig?
558
00:35:52,713 --> 00:35:54,193
She's not a pig.
559
00:35:54,193 --> 00:35:55,673
And no, I'm not.
560
00:35:55,673 --> 00:35:56,913
Is she a copper?
561
00:35:56,913 --> 00:35:58,193
Yes, technically...
562
00:35:58,193 --> 00:35:59,913
Well, then she's a pig.
563
00:35:59,913 --> 00:36:01,553
Is she here?!
564
00:36:01,553 --> 00:36:03,513
It's got nothing to do with you.
565
00:36:03,513 --> 00:36:07,513
Oh, don't you fucking tell me
that as well.
566
00:36:08,353 --> 00:36:11,793
For fucks sake!
567
00:36:11,793 --> 00:36:15,793
Argh!
568
00:36:29,873 --> 00:36:32,313
I will have to save this one for the
wank bank,
569
00:36:32,313 --> 00:36:34,713
leave you to it, boys.
570
00:36:34,713 --> 00:36:38,713
Get fucking off me!
571
00:36:40,633 --> 00:36:43,993
Maybe Mimi could sit next to Saul?
572
00:36:43,993 --> 00:36:45,953
Stop it.
You promised you'd try.
573
00:36:51,913 --> 00:36:55,113
Haven't had a chance to give you
a proper welcome. I'm Lillian.
574
00:36:55,113 --> 00:36:58,913
A little something for you.
575
00:36:58,913 --> 00:37:01,633
Isn't that kind?
576
00:37:01,633 --> 00:37:05,593
Thought you'd like it.
It's filthy.
577
00:37:05,593 --> 00:37:09,593
Lillian, would you like to come
to dinner this evening?
578
00:37:09,593 --> 00:37:11,713
You can be our uninvited guest.
579
00:37:11,713 --> 00:37:13,033
You mean, I'm not invited?
580
00:37:13,033 --> 00:37:14,753
Sorry?
581
00:37:14,753 --> 00:37:16,473
If I'm uninvited.
582
00:37:16,473 --> 00:37:18,793
It's a Jewish thing.
Eight o'clock?
583
00:37:18,793 --> 00:37:22,153
Lovely. I'll bring a bottle
of bubbly.
584
00:37:22,153 --> 00:37:26,153
Ciao for now.
585
00:37:28,073 --> 00:37:32,073
Why do I get the feeling you're not
taking this seriously?
586
00:37:33,913 --> 00:37:37,913
Are you going round the Wankos
later then, Frank?
587
00:37:38,593 --> 00:37:40,033
You?
588
00:37:40,033 --> 00:37:41,033
Am I shite.
589
00:37:41,033 --> 00:37:42,393
Well, I think you should.
590
00:37:42,393 --> 00:37:43,473
Why's that?
591
00:37:43,473 --> 00:37:46,033
You're a religious lady, Mimi,
592
00:37:46,033 --> 00:37:50,033
love thy neighbour and don't sell
mushrooms to their kids.
593
00:37:51,673 --> 00:37:54,193
You better keep that
to yourself, Gallagher,
594
00:37:54,193 --> 00:37:56,393
you know what side
your bread's buttered.
595
00:37:56,393 --> 00:37:58,073
Indeed I do.
596
00:37:58,073 --> 00:38:01,633
Amos, sort your bloody uniform out,
597
00:38:01,633 --> 00:38:05,633
you look like nobody's child.
598
00:38:06,473 --> 00:38:08,073
Are you all right, gorgeous?
599
00:38:08,073 --> 00:38:11,873
No, I'm sick of people telling me
I should go round there tonight.
600
00:38:11,873 --> 00:38:14,593
Whoever it is, I agree with them.
601
00:38:14,593 --> 00:38:16,273
Why not?
602
00:38:16,273 --> 00:38:18,873
Why should I be the one
to make an effort?
603
00:38:18,873 --> 00:38:20,153
I'm the victim in all this!
604
00:38:20,153 --> 00:38:21,913
Just give them a chance.
605
00:38:21,913 --> 00:38:25,913
No point shitting on
your own doorstep.
606
00:38:48,353 --> 00:38:51,753
Look's like Mum's coming to this
dinner tonight, after all.
607
00:38:51,753 --> 00:38:53,073
What changed her mind?
608
00:38:53,073 --> 00:38:54,673
Dunno.
609
00:38:54,673 --> 00:38:57,513
Tonight at eight, be there.
610
00:38:57,513 --> 00:39:00,953
Listen, I would love to help.
611
00:39:00,953 --> 00:39:03,873
But I really don't see
myself as a diplomatic sort.
612
00:39:03,873 --> 00:39:07,393
Plus, I am definitely
on a promise tonight.
613
00:39:07,393 --> 00:39:11,393
I think, if I cancel, my balls
just might explode.
614
00:39:11,513 --> 00:39:12,953
I need back-up.
615
00:39:12,953 --> 00:39:16,953
Plus, I'll tell Mam you're shagging
a pig if you don't come.
616
00:39:17,473 --> 00:39:21,473
Bollocks!
617
00:39:29,873 --> 00:39:33,633
You smell great. Like erm...
618
00:39:33,633 --> 00:39:37,153
..strawberry laces.
619
00:39:37,153 --> 00:39:40,233
It's not as good
as Jane Eyre laid bare.
620
00:39:40,233 --> 00:39:42,593
Ta.
621
00:39:42,593 --> 00:39:44,233
Where have you two been?
622
00:39:44,233 --> 00:39:45,513
Reminiscing.
623
00:39:45,513 --> 00:39:47,833
You're brave for inviting this lot
round, aren't you?
624
00:39:47,833 --> 00:39:51,833
Ah, well, you're a brave lot
for coming.
625
00:40:01,153 --> 00:40:03,753
Like waiting for the executioner.
626
00:40:03,753 --> 00:40:06,033
Is he coming too?
627
00:40:07,993 --> 00:40:11,993
Brace yourselves.
628
00:40:16,713 --> 00:40:18,233
Hi, are you all right?
629
00:40:18,233 --> 00:40:19,873
Yeah, come in, come in.
630
00:40:19,873 --> 00:40:21,593
Why don't you put her down upstairs?
631
00:40:21,593 --> 00:40:24,953
Cheers.
632
00:40:24,953 --> 00:40:28,193
Look at you all dressed up.
633
00:40:28,193 --> 00:40:32,193
Even Saul's impressed.
634
00:40:39,193 --> 00:40:41,553
Ah, the guest of honour.
635
00:40:41,553 --> 00:40:43,753
Whose side are you here for?
636
00:40:43,753 --> 00:40:46,073
I'm the uninvited.
637
00:40:46,073 --> 00:40:48,873
She's the fucking brain dead.
638
00:40:48,873 --> 00:40:50,913
Can I borrow your phone Uncle Jamie?
639
00:40:50,913 --> 00:40:52,953
Course you can, mate.
640
00:40:52,953 --> 00:40:56,273
Oh! Bonjour tout le monde.
641
00:40:56,273 --> 00:40:57,553
No French allowed Frank.
642
00:40:57,553 --> 00:40:58,833
D'accord.
643
00:40:58,833 --> 00:41:00,393
You're over there.
644
00:41:00,393 --> 00:41:02,473
Aidan not coming?
645
00:41:02,473 --> 00:41:04,233
Thankfully, no.
646
00:41:04,233 --> 00:41:07,193
He lacks the complex attributes
required to make a person
647
00:41:07,193 --> 00:41:08,433
socially attractive.
648
00:41:08,433 --> 00:41:11,553
And he's got a tag.
649
00:41:11,553 --> 00:41:13,353
Well, this is very cosy, isn't it?
650
00:41:13,353 --> 00:41:14,673
Family gathering...
651
00:41:14,673 --> 00:41:16,633
..should have a game of charades.
652
00:41:16,633 --> 00:41:18,713
I'm good at that. Can I go first?
653
00:41:18,713 --> 00:41:20,633
Two words...
654
00:41:20,633 --> 00:41:24,633
..fuck off.
655
00:41:34,953 --> 00:41:37,353
Are you lot taking the piss?
656
00:41:37,353 --> 00:41:38,873
That takes me back.
657
00:41:38,873 --> 00:41:41,793
It's not what you think,
I drew it for Frank.
658
00:41:41,793 --> 00:41:43,553
Whose side are you on then, Frank?
659
00:41:43,553 --> 00:41:45,753
I think I'm the one on the bottom.
660
00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:47,873
I meant here, you pleb.
661
00:41:47,873 --> 00:41:50,473
I'm Switzerland.
662
00:41:50,473 --> 00:41:53,713
This is, er, really nice, Esther.
663
00:41:53,713 --> 00:41:55,473
Better than your Mum's?
664
00:41:55,473 --> 00:41:59,233
Nah, it's not better, it's just...
665
00:41:59,233 --> 00:42:00,593
It's just what?
666
00:42:00,593 --> 00:42:02,073
Different!
667
00:42:02,073 --> 00:42:04,753
Try some Borek, Mimi?
668
00:42:04,753 --> 00:42:06,833
Er, I've got plenty, thank you.
669
00:42:06,833 --> 00:42:08,313
Are you sure, babe, this is mint.
670
00:42:08,313 --> 00:42:09,873
Had a big lunch at school.
671
00:42:09,873 --> 00:42:12,153
Jamie mentioned you helped
out at the local primary.
672
00:42:12,153 --> 00:42:14,793
It's a bit more than
fucking helping out.
673
00:42:14,793 --> 00:42:17,233
Must be a handful,
dealing with kids from round here.
674
00:42:17,233 --> 00:42:20,113
It's not so much the "round here"
that's the problem.
675
00:42:20,113 --> 00:42:23,153
Once you get them in,
they're putty in your hands.
676
00:42:23,153 --> 00:42:27,153
I find it's back at home
where the real issues lie.
677
00:42:27,673 --> 00:42:28,873
I've found it.
678
00:42:28,873 --> 00:42:31,433
The term space docking
refers to a man...
679
00:42:33,473 --> 00:42:37,473
I'm finished. I'm gonna see Aidan.
680
00:42:39,193 --> 00:42:41,233
They're making an effort.
Why don't you?
681
00:42:41,233 --> 00:42:42,753
Taking their side again?
682
00:42:42,753 --> 00:42:44,913
Give it a fucking rest, Mam.
683
00:42:44,913 --> 00:42:47,713
Eh, don't talk
to your mum like that.
684
00:42:47,713 --> 00:42:51,233
At least I've still got one son
who hasn't let me down.
685
00:42:51,233 --> 00:42:52,673
Who hasn't let you down!
686
00:42:52,673 --> 00:42:54,833
Well, he's shagging a fucking cop!
687
00:42:54,833 --> 00:42:55,833
He's what?!
688
00:42:55,833 --> 00:42:57,073
I'm really fucking not!
689
00:42:59,313 --> 00:43:01,113
What the fuck are you laughing at?
690
00:43:01,113 --> 00:43:03,193
Who do you think you are, Lady Muck?
691
00:43:03,193 --> 00:43:04,673
Do you think we've had it easy?
692
00:43:04,673 --> 00:43:06,233
Sit down, Esther.
693
00:43:06,233 --> 00:43:08,793
No! She hasn't got
a monopoly on hard lives.
694
00:43:08,793 --> 00:43:11,553
See him, he nursed me and Tam
through meningitis
695
00:43:11,553 --> 00:43:13,073
when he was 18 years old!
696
00:43:13,073 --> 00:43:15,433
And he's Palestinian,
you think that's easy?!
697
00:43:15,433 --> 00:43:17,433
Someone's had a shit in the hot tub.
698
00:43:20,993 --> 00:43:22,753
Is that for the space docking?
699
00:43:22,753 --> 00:43:26,073
What did I tell you?
They're fucking animals.
700
00:43:26,073 --> 00:43:27,033
Was it you?
701
00:43:27,033 --> 00:43:28,433
Why would I grass on myself?
702
00:43:28,433 --> 00:43:30,433
Him! It's gotta be him.
703
00:43:30,433 --> 00:43:32,193
How do we know you didn't do
it yourself?
704
00:43:32,193 --> 00:43:34,113
And why would I do it myself?
705
00:43:34,113 --> 00:43:36,353
To get a reaction like this!
706
00:43:36,353 --> 00:43:40,353
I'm not one to shit on me own
doorstep.
707
00:43:42,593 --> 00:43:45,193
It was me, I'm sorry.
708
00:43:45,193 --> 00:43:49,193
Breakfast burrito.
709
00:43:49,313 --> 00:43:50,513
Saul!
710
00:43:50,513 --> 00:43:54,513
Jesus Christ!
711
00:44:00,313 --> 00:44:03,753
I know you didn't have
a burrito for breakfast.
712
00:44:03,753 --> 00:44:05,433
Why say you did?
713
00:44:05,433 --> 00:44:08,153
Cos I know you put that
shit in the hot tub.
714
00:44:08,153 --> 00:44:09,673
You're accusing me?
715
00:44:09,673 --> 00:44:13,633
Well you did, didn't you?
716
00:44:13,633 --> 00:44:17,633
Well, that stuck up cow needed
a lesson in Chatsworth hospitality.
717
00:44:19,473 --> 00:44:20,833
We look like idiots now.
718
00:44:20,833 --> 00:44:24,753
No, I look like an idiot.
Same as any other day.
719
00:44:24,753 --> 00:44:26,513
Looking to me for sympathy?
720
00:44:26,513 --> 00:44:28,513
What even gave you the idea?
721
00:44:28,513 --> 00:44:31,593
Well, in a way you did.
722
00:44:31,593 --> 00:44:35,593
What, you actually listened
to summat I had to say?
723
00:44:36,313 --> 00:44:39,913
Ah, I love how our relationship
just keeps getting stronger
724
00:44:39,913 --> 00:44:41,313
and stronger...
725
00:44:41,313 --> 00:44:44,793
You gave me the idea to have
a shit in the hot tub, Billy,
726
00:44:44,793 --> 00:44:47,433
don't get carried away,
you fucking nob!
727
00:44:49,673 --> 00:44:53,673
Yes!
728
00:44:58,233 --> 00:44:59,713
Guess I fucked it up again.
729
00:44:59,713 --> 00:45:03,713
I think my stepdad taking a shit
in your hot tub was the low point.
730
00:45:07,673 --> 00:45:09,873
Well, best get him indoors.
731
00:45:09,873 --> 00:45:10,873
Night, Uncle Jamie.
732
00:45:10,873 --> 00:45:12,473
Night, mate.
733
00:45:12,473 --> 00:45:14,833
Thanks, Jamie.
734
00:45:14,833 --> 00:45:16,793
For everything, I mean.
735
00:45:16,793 --> 00:45:19,233
'It's human nature to adapt.
736
00:45:19,233 --> 00:45:22,233
'You might not want change but life
sticks two fingers up at that.
737
00:45:22,233 --> 00:45:26,073
'It happens. Sometimes for better,
sometimes for worse.
738
00:45:26,073 --> 00:45:28,273
'Either way we live with it
and carry on.
739
00:45:28,273 --> 00:45:30,593
'So why spend so much time
worrying about the things
740
00:45:30,593 --> 00:45:32,273
'that could go wrong?
741
00:45:32,273 --> 00:45:34,633
'Stop worrying
and enjoy what you have now.
742
00:45:34,633 --> 00:45:37,393
'Because nobody knows what's
waiting for them on the horizon,
743
00:45:37,393 --> 00:45:39,153
'not even me!'
744
00:45:39,153 --> 00:45:42,233
We're going into business together.
Chesco's getting an upgrade.
745
00:45:42,233 --> 00:45:43,953
Yep... It's a shithole.
746
00:45:43,953 --> 00:45:45,633
I don't want to work in a car wash.
747
00:45:45,633 --> 00:45:47,913
We take three times more than
others make round here.
748
00:45:47,913 --> 00:45:49,753
This place?
749
00:45:49,753 --> 00:45:53,193
Living in the moment, mate,
wouldn't change a thing.
750
00:45:53,193 --> 00:45:55,393
Money laundering,
fraud by misrepresentation...
751
00:45:55,393 --> 00:45:57,073
He's in a fucking police cell!
752
00:45:57,073 --> 00:45:58,713
He'll be back by the end
of the week.
753
00:45:58,713 --> 00:46:00,953
It's a drive through suck shop!
754
00:46:00,953 --> 00:46:04,060
I think I've just signed half my
shop away to an Islamic terrorist.
755
00:46:04,229 --> 00:46:44,058
756
00:46:51,819 --> 00:46:54,219
Gladiator, are you ready?
757
00:46:54,219 --> 00:46:58,219
Three, two, one!
758
00:47:02,779 --> 00:47:04,101
Urgh!
759
00:47:04,151 --> 00:47:08,701
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