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1
00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:08,858
I wasn't a fan of the Queen until I
realised how much we have in common.
2
00:00:08,922 --> 00:00:11,481
Bringing up kiddies you
can't remember the names of.
3
00:00:11,482 --> 00:00:15,003
I know she's not a single
parent but she might as well be.
4
00:00:15,004 --> 00:00:18,362
Plus, the pair of us,
we've stuck to our guns,
5
00:00:18,363 --> 00:00:22,003
her literally sometimes,
and flagshipped a dying breed.
6
00:00:22,004 --> 00:00:24,162
Admired and despised equally.
7
00:00:24,163 --> 00:00:26,362
Not for never lifting a finger.
8
00:00:26,363 --> 00:00:29,442
No, for setting examples
through extremity.
9
00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:32,121
And whether you're a bigwig on
her end or a bigwig on mine,
10
00:00:32,122 --> 00:00:34,721
you've still got your dickheads
in the middle to deal with,
11
00:00:34,722 --> 00:00:36,841
snip, snip, snipping
at your benefits.
12
00:00:36,842 --> 00:00:40,843
I mean, she can't not be
looking at me and thinking, "What's your secret, Frank?"
13
00:00:41,603 --> 00:00:43,922
I got shot of my kids yonks back.
14
00:00:43,923 --> 00:00:46,481
Whereas she's yet to see
the back of a single one.
15
00:00:46,482 --> 00:00:49,563
I've had to get out of bed on
occasion to make ends meet
16
00:00:49,564 --> 00:00:53,563
whereas she, she's done the
whole thing from a chair.
17
00:00:54,443 --> 00:00:56,361
Oh, and a drink for the lady.
18
00:00:56,362 --> 00:00:58,881
Oh sure, there's perks.
But, look at her lot.
19
00:00:58,882 --> 00:01:01,403
Brian May prancing
about on her roof.
20
00:01:01,404 --> 00:01:03,922
Now look at my lot.
21
00:01:03,923 --> 00:01:07,923
We know how to throw
a proper fucking paaaarty!
22
00:01:07,948 --> 00:01:12,296
23
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:17,841
The more I think about it,
24
00:01:17,842 --> 00:01:21,843
the more I realise that pretty much
everyone's got a secret identity.
25
00:01:24,003 --> 00:01:27,201
And I'm not, you know, meaning
like Batman or Superman.
26
00:01:27,202 --> 00:01:30,001
Although when I was ten,
I did put my pants on my head
27
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:32,281
and run around pretending
to be a superhero.
28
00:01:32,282 --> 00:01:35,763
The Catholic Avenger. Exorcised
the next door neighbour's cat.
29
00:01:35,779 --> 00:01:37,497
Worked as well.
30
00:01:37,545 --> 00:01:41,245
No, I mean the secret identity
being you. The real you.
31
00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:45,311
The one behind all
that bluster and front.
32
00:01:46,111 --> 00:01:49,349
Like the woman who pretended
she didn't need love.
33
00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:53,351
But found it closer to home than
she could have ever imagined.
34
00:01:53,911 --> 00:01:57,911
Or the boy who's doing his best to
be a loving husband and good father.
35
00:01:59,671 --> 00:02:02,149
Those good looks and
easy smile distracting you
36
00:02:02,150 --> 00:02:06,151
from the stench of blood and death
that came with his family name.
37
00:02:07,631 --> 00:02:11,631
Or the friendly local
janitor, always got a smile and wink for the kiddies.
38
00:02:11,711 --> 00:02:15,711
Some of them say they want to
be like him when they grow up.
39
00:02:20,911 --> 00:02:23,271
Or the man who thought
he was happy enough.
40
00:02:23,272 --> 00:02:26,270
Drinking, womanising, getting by.
41
00:02:26,816 --> 00:02:30,816
Until he realised he'd never
known what happiness was at all.
42
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,815
Coming.
43
00:02:36,816 --> 00:02:39,215
Oh, shit. Coming!
44
00:02:39,216 --> 00:02:40,356
Package for a Gloria Meak.
45
00:02:40,431 --> 00:02:42,149
She doesn't live here.
46
00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:45,390
I mean, she does. Sorry. She does.
She's just not here right now.
47
00:02:45,391 --> 00:02:47,309
Oh, pay no attention to him.
48
00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:49,228
Mince for brains till
he has his first cuppa.
49
00:02:49,229 --> 00:02:50,790
Yeah. My wife's the same.
50
00:02:50,791 --> 00:02:54,790
No, no, we're not married.
No we're brother and sister.
51
00:02:54,950 --> 00:02:58,589
What? It's not weird,
is it? Us living together.
52
00:02:58,590 --> 00:03:02,590
Especially not in this economic
climate. I'm a priest anyway, you know, a man of the cloth.
53
00:03:03,030 --> 00:03:07,030
I told you. Mince.
54
00:03:18,310 --> 00:03:19,749
What's with you?
55
00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:23,750
Nothing.
56
00:03:39,070 --> 00:03:42,789
As you all know, tomorrow
is a red letter day.
57
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,429
The school inspector calls,
58
00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:49,430
so big smiles, friendly
faces, we'll get through it.
59
00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:54,550
And, er, there is one other thing.
60
00:03:54,990 --> 00:03:58,990
In light of recent solicitor's
letters that I've received,
61
00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:04,310
it seems that our
exclusion of Adam Wiggins
62
00:04:06,310 --> 00:04:08,829
may not have been entirely legal.
63
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:10,722
- You better be joking.
- This is shit.
64
00:04:17,230 --> 00:04:19,669
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
65
00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:23,190
That little fucker comes back,
you'll have a walkout on your hands.
66
00:04:23,191 --> 00:04:26,429
You can't do that,
we've got an inspection.
67
00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:29,109
Seems to me you're
doing it all wrong.
68
00:04:29,110 --> 00:04:32,430
Punishing the lad, excluding
him, not going to work.
69
00:04:32,431 --> 00:04:36,430
Now what you need is a nice
little frilly pink dress
70
00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:40,708
and a pair of heels. Dress up
this Adam like a little girl.
71
00:04:40,709 --> 00:04:43,708
Two or three days tottering
round the corridors, having
72
00:04:43,709 --> 00:04:47,710
the shite ripped out of him by all
and sundry, he'll be humble as pie.
73
00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:52,270
S'all right. You
can thank me later.
74
00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:56,870
Just to remind you, you are
PTA. Not actual staff.
75
00:04:57,990 --> 00:05:01,470
I was just helping, I've got
experience with these things,
76
00:05:01,471 --> 00:05:03,989
kids of my own.
77
00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:07,510
I understand the whole world
of education must seen fascinating
78
00:05:07,511 --> 00:05:09,269
and new to you.
79
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:10,190
What's that mean?
80
00:05:10,191 --> 00:05:12,869
How old were you
when you left school?
81
00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:16,709
Exactly. But this
is not a free for all.
82
00:05:16,710 --> 00:05:18,828
And I'm not blind.
I'm well aware of you
83
00:05:18,829 --> 00:05:21,750
slithering your tentacles
into places they're not welcome.
84
00:05:21,751 --> 00:05:23,829
You better watch your tone.
85
00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:26,710
And you better watch out
you don't over-step the mark.
86
00:05:26,711 --> 00:05:30,710
Because one little word
from me and you're gone.
87
00:05:31,550 --> 00:05:35,550
Gone with the wind.
88
00:05:46,070 --> 00:05:47,190
He's not going to call.
89
00:05:47,191 --> 00:05:49,509
He might.
90
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:53,510
I know things got a little
bit out of hand but, you know,
91
00:05:53,710 --> 00:05:56,028
now me and Kassi have had
a time to cool down.
92
00:05:56,029 --> 00:05:58,148
Jamie, he popped in here for a drink
93
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,268
and you tried to beat
the shite out of him.
94
00:06:00,269 --> 00:06:02,750
He's hardly going to be
throwing lunch dates
95
00:06:02,751 --> 00:06:06,750
and friend requests
in your direction.
96
00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:10,523
- He's not answering my calls.
- Because he knows your number.
97
00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:17,190
But he doesn't know mine.
98
00:06:24,470 --> 00:06:28,470
Hello?
99
00:06:28,830 --> 00:06:32,830
It's me. Jamie.
100
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,709
Don't hang up.
101
00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:38,710
Hey, all right, Mimi!
How's it hanging?
102
00:06:39,510 --> 00:06:42,469
Hey!
103
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:45,469
This place doesn't
clean itself, you know.
104
00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:47,750
What are we doing,
Frank? Look at us.
105
00:06:47,751 --> 00:06:49,669
We look like dicks.
106
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:53,670
I don't. Eh, come on, you shouldn't
let them get you down, kid.
107
00:06:55,990 --> 00:06:57,388
You're a big strong woman.
108
00:06:57,389 --> 00:06:58,150
No, I'm not.
109
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:02,150
Yes, you are! Come on!
110
00:07:02,470 --> 00:07:05,989
In fact, I'm going close
the book on this place.
111
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:08,028
Take them for everything I can.
112
00:07:08,029 --> 00:07:12,030
Show those fuckers
what over-stepping the line really looks like.
113
00:07:12,270 --> 00:07:14,469
Yeah, good for you.
114
00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:18,470
Hey, I've been very
impressed by that...
115
00:07:19,710 --> 00:07:22,790
you know, that mushroom
industry that you've got going.
116
00:07:22,791 --> 00:07:25,229
You're a trailblazer, you know.
117
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:28,829
Amelia Earheart, Marie Curie,
Pocahontas...
118
00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:31,190
I haven't got Hovis
stamped on my arse.
119
00:07:31,191 --> 00:07:35,190
You can stop buttering me
up, Frank. What do you want?
120
00:07:35,630 --> 00:07:39,630
Well, seeing that you're doing very
well with this mushroom thing,
121
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:43,790
maybe tip a few caps this way
to your old friend and neighbour...
122
00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:53,310
Fill your boots, Frank.
123
00:07:56,150 --> 00:07:58,989
Enjoy it while it lasts.
124
00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:02,990
Cos I'm getting the goldmine,
and these are getting the shaft.
125
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:07,789
Laters, Frank.
126
00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:11,790
Yeah, laters.
127
00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:15,108
But you get on all right. As family.
128
00:08:15,109 --> 00:08:17,628
When you finally got to
spend some time together.
129
00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:20,948
I thought she was lovely,
till she opened her mouth.
130
00:08:20,949 --> 00:08:23,348
And he was so drunk,
he thought I was twins.
131
00:08:23,349 --> 00:08:25,948
Come on, Jamie, you're a class
act. What's not to like, eh?
132
00:08:25,949 --> 00:08:27,628
Black eye, couple of bruises.
133
00:08:27,629 --> 00:08:29,828
Jamie. He's agreed
to meet you again.
134
00:08:29,829 --> 00:08:32,388
He's coming in for a
drink. Don't overthink it.
135
00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:34,270
You know what you should try doing?
136
00:08:34,271 --> 00:08:35,829
Mam, it's all right.
137
00:08:35,830 --> 00:08:36,748
I was just saying.
138
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:39,388
I don't want this opened
up this to the floor.
139
00:08:39,389 --> 00:08:43,030
I just wanted to hear from a
couple of folk who'd been there.
140
00:08:45,950 --> 00:08:49,148
Right, listen up. My brother's
coming in here tonight.
141
00:08:49,149 --> 00:08:50,868
I'm already here, you div.
142
00:08:50,869 --> 00:08:53,430
My other brother.
And I want to show him
143
00:08:53,431 --> 00:08:55,949
this place isn't a fucking cesspool.
144
00:08:55,950 --> 00:08:59,950
No fighting, no drugs,
no pissing, and no puking.
145
00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:01,989
Have you got that?
146
00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:04,110
It's you he needs to worry about.
147
00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:15,309
No, it's good to laugh.
148
00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:17,190
A pub full of happy
people, joking about.
149
00:09:17,191 --> 00:09:21,149
You've got the right idea,
John. So go on. Laugh again.
150
00:09:21,150 --> 00:09:24,110
I want to hear you.
A big old fucking chuckle.
151
00:09:24,111 --> 00:09:28,110
Hahaha...?
152
00:09:28,390 --> 00:09:30,270
Oh, you can do better than that.
153
00:09:30,271 --> 00:09:31,389
Haha, haha...
154
00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:32,670
All of you!
155
00:09:34,590 --> 00:09:38,590
I didn't say stop. Come, on.
Laugh it up, you fucking fuzzballs.
156
00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:41,470
All together now.
157
00:09:52,150 --> 00:09:54,908
Computer room. At the back,
first corridor.
158
00:09:54,909 --> 00:09:57,270
Got a brand new server,
whatever the fuck that is.
159
00:09:57,271 --> 00:10:01,270
So get in after midnight,
rip it out, sell it on. Right?
160
00:10:02,350 --> 00:10:05,750
You got masks? Don't want any
of this coming back to me.
161
00:10:05,751 --> 00:10:07,869
Right then.
162
00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:09,548
And don't smash the place up.
163
00:10:09,549 --> 00:10:13,550
Some of the kids have worked quite
hard on their projects and...
164
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:18,230
Just keep it clean.
165
00:10:29,590 --> 00:10:32,149
Are you sure about us being here?
166
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:35,869
Oh, yeah, cos being
at home's so much better,
167
00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:39,350
with Aiden tramping around with
his tag on, the little one mewling
168
00:10:39,351 --> 00:10:42,669
and whining all the fucking time.
169
00:10:42,670 --> 00:10:45,989
It's just we always hated school.
170
00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:47,510
Worst years of our lives.
171
00:10:47,511 --> 00:10:51,469
I promise you, after
this evening's over,
172
00:10:51,470 --> 00:10:55,349
you'll think of school in
a whole different light.
173
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,869
We're not pissing on you, Frank.
174
00:10:57,870 --> 00:11:01,870
What? Eh? What's pissing
got to do with it?
175
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:04,228
Just whenever you
start talking like this,
176
00:11:04,229 --> 00:11:06,110
usually ends with me pissing on you.
177
00:11:06,111 --> 00:11:08,549
That's not strictly true.
178
00:11:08,550 --> 00:11:10,030
But let's not rule anything out.
179
00:11:10,031 --> 00:11:14,030
What happens in school,
stays in school.
180
00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:19,629
He's not coming.
181
00:11:19,630 --> 00:11:21,470
Maybe he's just running late.
182
00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:25,229
Maybe it's for the best.
183
00:11:25,230 --> 00:11:27,708
It's not like you can
share life stories, is it?
184
00:11:27,709 --> 00:11:30,430
"Oh, I tell you what, let's talk
about the time I was banged up,
185
00:11:30,431 --> 00:11:32,749
"or the time I offed three fellas,
186
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:35,508
"or maybe the time
when I dug up the corpse
187
00:11:35,509 --> 00:11:38,388
"of some guy's dad, because he had
his sticky fingers on my missus."
188
00:11:38,389 --> 00:11:41,230
Shane, let's play
shut-the-fuck-up. You go first.
189
00:11:41,231 --> 00:11:44,149
Just saying...
190
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:48,150
I'm going to clear up.
191
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:08,789
Hey.
192
00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:10,229
Whoa! Easy, easy,
193
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,149
Sorry, mate.
194
00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:15,548
Karen told me you were
out here shifting crates.
195
00:12:15,549 --> 00:12:18,350
I know it's late.
We're closing but we can still get a couple of beers.
196
00:12:18,351 --> 00:12:21,909
How about tomorrow?
Day out. Banley Manor?
197
00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:25,127
- Tam's off school for a few days,
I have to look after him anyway. - Why Banley?
198
00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:30,429
Is this to do with me dad?
199
00:12:30,430 --> 00:12:32,469
Yes. Yes, it is.
200
00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:36,470
That's where... his
ashes were scattered.
201
00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:43,030
Tomorrow then?
202
00:12:44,229 --> 00:12:45,548
Got a taxi waiting.
203
00:12:45,549 --> 00:12:47,727
Tomorrow.
204
00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:02,711
They're gone.
205
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:09,917
Frank...
206
00:13:09,918 --> 00:13:11,557
Almost done.
207
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:14,373
I dunno about this.
Makes me look like a prossie.
208
00:13:14,474 --> 00:13:16,712
No!
209
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:19,753
You look like a painted lady.
210
00:13:25,913 --> 00:13:27,431
Don't that look like Siobhan?
211
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,071
Fuck, it does. Got
the corn-rows and everything.
212
00:13:30,158 --> 00:13:31,639
Talented little bastards.
213
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,958
They're not talented!
214
00:13:33,959 --> 00:13:36,638
This, this is talent.
215
00:13:36,639 --> 00:13:40,438
Rembrandt'd be spinning in his tomb.
216
00:13:40,439 --> 00:13:43,118
This stuff, this is rubbish.
217
00:13:43,119 --> 00:13:45,158
It's just bollocks, innit?
218
00:13:45,159 --> 00:13:48,038
Fingers like penises,
219
00:13:48,039 --> 00:13:52,039
smiling faces...
220
00:13:53,319 --> 00:13:56,078
Yeah, that's kids for you.
221
00:13:56,079 --> 00:13:58,558
They see things differently.
222
00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,038
Blue sky.
223
00:14:01,039 --> 00:14:03,559
Big old Mr Sunshine.
224
00:14:05,839 --> 00:14:09,839
Everything's beautiful.
225
00:14:10,319 --> 00:14:14,319
Everything's just perfect.
226
00:14:15,319 --> 00:14:19,319
Frankie! Frankie!
227
00:14:26,119 --> 00:14:27,479
Are you looking at me?
228
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,238
Wait, this is...
This is important...
229
00:14:30,239 --> 00:14:33,758
Here I am, Frank! Frank!
230
00:14:33,759 --> 00:14:36,358
This is fucking brilliant.
231
00:14:36,359 --> 00:14:40,359
It's like... a moment.
232
00:14:44,399 --> 00:14:47,998
No, don't change...
233
00:14:47,999 --> 00:14:51,278
Stay the same, don't grow old,
234
00:14:51,279 --> 00:14:55,279
cos your fucking kids
just fucking up and away...
235
00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:58,119
Frank!
236
00:15:04,919 --> 00:15:07,118
Frank!
237
00:15:07,119 --> 00:15:09,878
Are you looking at me now, Frank?
238
00:15:09,994 --> 00:15:11,113
Aah!
239
00:15:11,114 --> 00:15:12,433
Have you finished?!
240
00:15:12,434 --> 00:15:16,434
No! I'm not fucking finished!
241
00:15:47,194 --> 00:15:50,113
You fucking leech!
242
00:15:50,114 --> 00:15:52,513
Iraq not enough for you?
243
00:15:52,514 --> 00:15:56,514
I am not fucking finished!
244
00:16:30,274 --> 00:16:31,473
All set?
245
00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:35,153
Yeah. Think so.
246
00:16:35,154 --> 00:16:37,474
Packed lunch. Just some sandwiches.
247
00:16:37,475 --> 00:16:40,473
You ever been to
Banley Manor before?
248
00:16:40,474 --> 00:16:44,392
Oh, God, it's boring. Went there
years ago on a school trip.
249
00:16:44,393 --> 00:16:45,954
Connor might enjoy it, though.
250
00:16:45,955 --> 00:16:49,233
Don't think you have
to come. I can do this.
251
00:16:49,234 --> 00:16:53,234
Like I said, boring for me.
But for Connor, though...
252
00:16:54,074 --> 00:16:58,074
OK. But I'm not
sharing my sandwiches.
253
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:01,594
Just go and get some stuff together.
254
00:17:01,595 --> 00:17:04,393
He's bringing his kid too.
255
00:17:04,394 --> 00:17:06,753
My nephew, I suppose.
256
00:17:06,754 --> 00:17:08,152
Have you got him something?
257
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:11,112
What? You think
I should get him a present?
258
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,512
I dunno, it'd be polite?
I mean, these middle classes...
259
00:17:13,513 --> 00:17:17,154
That'd be great, showing up
empty-handed! He'll think I'm a right fucking loser.
260
00:17:17,155 --> 00:17:21,154
We're meeting him at 11,
you haven't got time!
261
00:17:28,234 --> 00:17:30,593
Eh, what's going on?
262
00:17:30,594 --> 00:17:33,673
It's Christmas, sir.
Christmas morning.
263
00:17:33,674 --> 00:17:34,993
Seriously?
264
00:17:34,994 --> 00:17:38,353
Nah. Assembly in the hall, innit.
265
00:17:38,354 --> 00:17:40,633
Coo-ee, Frank!
266
00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:44,634
Look here, Frank! Let me
lick your lollipop, Frank!
267
00:17:48,314 --> 00:17:49,553
Oh!
268
00:17:49,554 --> 00:17:52,354
Eh-up, eh-up! Eh-up,
janny coming through!
269
00:17:52,355 --> 00:17:56,354
Janny coming through!
270
00:18:00,194 --> 00:18:02,513
Frank, I'm stuck!
271
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:03,633
Just jump.
272
00:18:03,634 --> 00:18:06,033
I can't. I've got impetigo.
273
00:18:06,034 --> 00:18:07,233
What?
274
00:18:07,234 --> 00:18:09,432
Look, the place is
going to be crawling
275
00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:11,394
with kids and teachers in a minute.
276
00:18:11,395 --> 00:18:14,714
I'll catch you, trust me. Trust me!
277
00:18:17,954 --> 00:18:21,633
Ah! Oh, fucking hell.
278
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:25,634
Ah, Jesus...
279
00:18:26,634 --> 00:18:29,353
Come on, up and at 'em.
280
00:18:29,354 --> 00:18:33,354
You said you'd catch me!
I've got bruises, more bruises.
281
00:18:34,794 --> 00:18:38,794
Fucking hell, Frank,
you throw like a girl.
282
00:18:42,034 --> 00:18:43,714
I haven't got time for this.
283
00:18:45,634 --> 00:18:49,634
Oh, shit.
284
00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,193
You got any Frisbees?
285
00:18:59,194 --> 00:19:00,832
You know I don't sell
that kind of stuff.
286
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:02,352
Have you got anything similar?
287
00:19:02,353 --> 00:19:03,992
Jamie, I don't deal drugs. All right?
288
00:19:03,993 --> 00:19:06,552
- Bet he does.
This place has to be a front. - It's not a bloody codeword.
289
00:19:06,553 --> 00:19:09,234
It's a Frisbee! It's an
object you throw and catch.
290
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:12,473
Oh, right. Frisbee. No.
291
00:19:12,474 --> 00:19:14,712
I also don't sell
that kind of thing here.
292
00:19:14,713 --> 00:19:17,474
Here. I'm in a rush.
I can't be late. So how much?
293
00:19:17,475 --> 00:19:21,474
Just take it, man.
294
00:19:24,754 --> 00:19:28,754
Biscay. East or North West,
four or five.
295
00:19:30,954 --> 00:19:33,193
Slight or moderate.
296
00:19:33,194 --> 00:19:36,313
Mainly fair.
297
00:19:36,314 --> 00:19:40,314
Good, occasionally very poor.
298
00:19:40,354 --> 00:19:41,953
Trafalgar.
299
00:19:41,954 --> 00:19:43,833
Variable southerly...
300
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:44,953
Frank!
301
00:19:44,954 --> 00:19:46,633
Three or four.
302
00:19:46,634 --> 00:19:50,633
Occasionally five.
Slight or moderate,
303
00:19:50,634 --> 00:19:54,473
fair, good.
304
00:19:54,474 --> 00:19:57,474
Well, that concludes
today's shipping forecast.
305
00:19:57,475 --> 00:19:59,113
Fucking hell...
306
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:03,114
I'd like to welcome
someone back into the fold.
307
00:20:03,514 --> 00:20:07,514
And I'm sure that once you've heard
what Adam Wiggins has to say,
308
00:20:10,754 --> 00:20:14,754
I'm sure that you'll agree
he deserves a second chance.
309
00:20:15,794 --> 00:20:19,794
Adam?
310
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:41,113
No way.
311
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,673
Please, please...
312
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:46,154
Not again. Oh, come on...
313
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,353
You're not dismissed!
314
00:20:53,354 --> 00:20:57,354
Community, you've got to pull
together, haven't you?
315
00:20:58,274 --> 00:21:00,673
Go Scargill!
316
00:21:00,674 --> 00:21:03,233
Outside!
317
00:21:03,234 --> 00:21:06,433
Great! Just great!
318
00:21:06,434 --> 00:21:10,434
Go on, fight the
system. Solidaritnost.
319
00:21:23,514 --> 00:21:25,154
Shouldn't you be in school?
320
00:21:25,155 --> 00:21:27,393
There was a walk-out.
321
00:21:27,394 --> 00:21:30,593
- There's only like three
teachers and 40 kids left. - When?
322
00:21:30,594 --> 00:21:34,594
In assembly. Heard them say they'll
probably shut the school down now.
323
00:21:37,234 --> 00:21:38,913
Hang on a minute, love.
324
00:21:38,914 --> 00:21:40,594
What are you doing, Miss?
325
00:21:40,595 --> 00:21:44,594
Protecting my investment.
326
00:21:45,074 --> 00:21:49,074
Ah, so, how are
things at, uh...
327
00:21:49,514 --> 00:21:53,193
um, inspector HQ?
328
00:21:53,194 --> 00:21:56,713
Right! Let us begin. English.
329
00:21:56,714 --> 00:22:00,714
How about geography instead?
Mr Farman's class is fascinating.
330
00:22:01,674 --> 00:22:03,234
Oh, would you like to meet...?
331
00:22:03,235 --> 00:22:05,113
Year four English.
332
00:22:05,114 --> 00:22:07,392
Actually I think the year four
teacher might be off.
333
00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:09,912
Well, then you'll have
a substitute teacher, won't you?
334
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:12,512
Or are you so incompetent
you can't even manage that?
335
00:22:12,513 --> 00:22:15,512
Wait, look, there's something
I need to tell you.
336
00:22:15,513 --> 00:22:18,994
Of course, if I was to tell you
the next story we were looking at
337
00:22:18,995 --> 00:22:22,994
featured murder, paranoia,
insanity, revenge and ghosts,
338
00:22:24,274 --> 00:22:27,034
you'd probably think I was
talking about an X-rated oeuvre
339
00:22:27,035 --> 00:22:29,873
of Mr Tarantino
or Mr Stallone, but no.
340
00:22:29,874 --> 00:22:33,874
It's called Hamlet and it's by
a bright young gun named Mr William Shakespeare. Anybody know him?
341
00:22:39,794 --> 00:22:43,794
Ah, gentlemen.
Please, take a seat.
342
00:22:45,394 --> 00:22:49,394
OK, so, where was I?
343
00:22:49,834 --> 00:22:53,834
Hamlet, Hamlet...
344
00:22:54,274 --> 00:22:57,472
It warms the very sickness
in my heart, that I shall live
345
00:22:57,473 --> 00:22:59,234
and tell him to his teeth,
346
00:22:59,235 --> 00:23:03,234
"Thus diest thou."
347
00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:07,594
Slightly carried away there,
but everybody open your books,
348
00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:10,673
turn to page one,
hang onto your hats.
349
00:23:10,674 --> 00:23:12,793
Cos it's Hamlet time.
350
00:23:12,794 --> 00:23:15,954
Right now, your career
is bent over the table,
351
00:23:15,955 --> 00:23:18,273
trousers down, cheeks splayed,
352
00:23:18,274 --> 00:23:22,273
about the get the arse fucking
to end all arse fuckings.
353
00:23:22,274 --> 00:23:25,194
You're too old to re-train
for anything else,
354
00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:28,313
and no other school
will touch you
355
00:23:28,314 --> 00:23:32,314
with the proverbial dirty
barge pole, so I'm your only hope.
356
00:23:33,594 --> 00:23:37,594
Now, I've called in favours
from friends, good friends,
357
00:23:38,034 --> 00:23:42,033
to bail you out of your own mess.
358
00:23:42,034 --> 00:23:45,633
I just hope I haven't
over-stepped the mark.
359
00:23:45,634 --> 00:23:47,953
Everything all right, Mr Banbury?
360
00:23:47,954 --> 00:23:49,193
Everything's fine.
361
00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:53,194
Then pay attention.
You might learn something.
362
00:23:55,354 --> 00:23:56,993
My liege...
363
00:23:56,994 --> 00:24:00,994
Art, chemistry, physical
education, mathematics.
364
00:24:02,514 --> 00:24:06,514
Oh, and there was recently a big
investment in a school server.
365
00:24:08,194 --> 00:24:11,152
I would very much like
to see that up and running.
366
00:24:11,153 --> 00:24:15,154
Computer room. At the back,
brand new server, worth thousands.
367
00:24:15,674 --> 00:24:19,674
Rip it out, sell it on.
368
00:24:19,954 --> 00:24:21,292
No problem at all.
369
00:24:26,054 --> 00:24:30,054
I need you to get that server
back to me A-S-A-fuckin'-P.
370
00:24:30,374 --> 00:24:34,374
I don't care
if you've got football tonight.
371
00:24:34,894 --> 00:24:38,534
Billy, do you want to spend
the rest of your married life
372
00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:41,328
sleeping on the couch?
373
00:24:41,329 --> 00:24:45,048
Right. Thank you.
374
00:24:45,049 --> 00:24:49,049
You. Here. Now.
375
00:24:50,929 --> 00:24:54,287
Bet you're happy with yourself.
School's in chaos.
376
00:24:54,288 --> 00:24:56,847
Most of the teachers
have buggered off.
377
00:24:56,848 --> 00:25:00,849
Come on, let's see if you're still
smiling when I'm done with you.
378
00:25:02,129 --> 00:25:05,688
You might have half the school
shittin' themselves
379
00:25:05,689 --> 00:25:08,929
every time you look round,
might have the teachers on the run,
380
00:25:08,930 --> 00:25:10,848
but I'll give you this.
381
00:25:10,849 --> 00:25:13,808
You do scrub up pretty well.
382
00:25:13,809 --> 00:25:17,688
Now you totter along
to the kitchen to help out,
383
00:25:17,689 --> 00:25:21,689
for all those lovely dinner ladies
walked out when you walked in.
384
00:25:22,089 --> 00:25:26,089
And, eh, son? Make sure that food's
de-fuckin'-licious, Michelin star,
385
00:25:27,689 --> 00:25:31,689
or you'll be walkin'
round in my knickers and bra.
386
00:25:35,969 --> 00:25:39,969
So I guess you come here a lot...
387
00:25:40,089 --> 00:25:43,048
to visit Dad's ashes?
388
00:25:43,049 --> 00:25:47,049
Yeah, yeah, we make the trip
every... week or so.
389
00:25:48,369 --> 00:25:49,448
It's boring.
390
00:25:49,449 --> 00:25:51,927
Doesn't have to be boring.
Jamie's brought you summat.
391
00:25:51,928 --> 00:25:52,889
Give it to him.
392
00:25:52,890 --> 00:25:55,728
This?
393
00:25:55,729 --> 00:25:57,969
No, no, I didn't bring this
to play with.
394
00:25:57,970 --> 00:26:00,648
It's, um...
395
00:26:00,649 --> 00:26:03,648
It's some kid's birthday
on our street.
396
00:26:03,649 --> 00:26:05,688
He's... mentally deficient.
397
00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:09,689
That's really good of you, mate.
398
00:26:24,329 --> 00:26:27,488
These are a little basic,
aren't they?
399
00:26:27,489 --> 00:26:31,489
At this level, they should really
be up to a higher standard.
400
00:26:36,849 --> 00:26:40,849
In order to draw like the child,
one must think like the child, ja?
401
00:26:42,169 --> 00:26:45,288
They are children.
402
00:26:45,289 --> 00:26:49,289
You are a man who understands art.
403
00:26:50,409 --> 00:26:53,648
Well, I...
404
00:26:53,649 --> 00:26:55,569
Well, I do dabble, yes.
405
00:27:01,569 --> 00:27:03,968
Billy, give me some good news.
406
00:27:03,969 --> 00:27:05,927
They've sold the server on already.
407
00:27:05,928 --> 00:27:07,769
The problem is
it's to another school.
408
00:27:07,770 --> 00:27:11,769
Look, just delay your man.
I'm on it.
409
00:27:12,329 --> 00:27:13,369
Right, I'll wait here.
410
00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:14,768
It's your wife.
411
00:27:14,769 --> 00:27:16,967
Well, I can't just walk
into a strange school, can I?
412
00:27:16,968 --> 00:27:18,267
Everyone'll think I'm a paedo.
413
00:27:18,345 --> 00:27:20,180
You can't hang around
the school gates either.
414
00:27:20,270 --> 00:27:24,269
You'll look even more paedotastic,
so grow some.
415
00:27:32,449 --> 00:27:34,368
Which one's the server?
416
00:27:34,369 --> 00:27:35,732
That big thing there.
417
00:27:38,889 --> 00:27:42,889
Maybe you should
have unplugged it first.
418
00:27:43,849 --> 00:27:47,769
Has everyone just ran off and left
you? Animals, man, the lot of 'em.
419
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:48,598
Billy.
420
00:27:48,599 --> 00:27:49,279
It's wrong.
421
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,718
The wheels.
422
00:27:52,719 --> 00:27:55,599
We're going to hell, we're going
to hell, we're going to hell!
423
00:28:50,719 --> 00:28:52,327
Go, go!
424
00:29:01,399 --> 00:29:05,399
So, dad... Our dad.
425
00:29:06,519 --> 00:29:10,519
Where d'you scatter the ashes?
426
00:29:15,959 --> 00:29:17,758
Over the flowerbed.
427
00:29:17,759 --> 00:29:21,718
It's what he wanted.
He used to sit here on the bench.
428
00:29:21,719 --> 00:29:24,318
He loved it here.
429
00:29:24,319 --> 00:29:28,319
I suppose I should go
and say something.
430
00:29:45,879 --> 00:29:49,879
I have no fuckin' idea
what I'm doing here.
431
00:29:50,919 --> 00:29:52,919
I mean, you're a pile of ashes
in a flowerbed.
432
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,118
You obviously can't hear me.
433
00:29:55,119 --> 00:29:57,958
Are you exclusive?
434
00:29:57,959 --> 00:29:59,758
You and the big lad?
435
00:29:59,759 --> 00:30:03,759
Cos I ain't got a girlfriend
at the moment and I can be...
436
00:30:05,279 --> 00:30:08,998
very discreet.
437
00:30:08,999 --> 00:30:12,838
Blah blah blah.
Talking to a fucking flowerbed.
438
00:30:12,839 --> 00:30:16,839
Blah blah blah blah blah.
439
00:30:17,999 --> 00:30:20,678
So, uh..
440
00:30:20,679 --> 00:30:24,158
Yeah, I hope you
would have been proud of me.
441
00:30:24,159 --> 00:30:27,718
It's unlikely but I hope so.
442
00:30:27,719 --> 00:30:31,719
Nice one, mate.
443
00:30:39,359 --> 00:30:41,678
Late for school.
444
00:30:41,679 --> 00:30:43,319
There's punishment for that.
445
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:47,319
I was kind of hoping there would be.
446
00:30:48,039 --> 00:30:52,039
Just pay the fucking bills on time,
you alcoholic twatbag.
447
00:30:52,279 --> 00:30:53,357
All right, Mimes.
448
00:30:53,358 --> 00:30:56,757
No, not all right. Does anyone know
anything about computers?
449
00:30:56,758 --> 00:30:58,077
Yeah, I know a little bit.
450
00:30:58,078 --> 00:31:00,997
Good, because we've got about
three minutes to get this server
451
00:31:00,998 --> 00:31:03,917
up and running before the inspector
gets to the computer room
452
00:31:03,918 --> 00:31:07,919
and I've no fuckin' idea
what a server actually does. C'mon.
453
00:31:10,279 --> 00:31:14,038
No, no, other cable.
454
00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:16,477
You don't think
she suspects anything, do you?
455
00:31:16,478 --> 00:31:19,237
Apart from you being an alkie who
can't pay your bills on time? No.
456
00:31:19,238 --> 00:31:21,317
Second time this week
we've almost been caught.
457
00:31:21,318 --> 00:31:23,139
You don't think we're
one of those couples who, y'know?
458
00:31:23,213 --> 00:31:25,401
Get off on danger? Nah.
459
00:31:26,959 --> 00:31:30,038
In fact, it makes me
even more frustrated.
460
00:31:30,039 --> 00:31:31,797
I want to do normal things.
461
00:31:31,798 --> 00:31:35,799
Why don't we, then? Tonight.
Grand Hotel. Meal, get drunk.
462
00:31:36,639 --> 00:31:39,078
It's weird, isn't it?
463
00:31:39,079 --> 00:31:41,798
It just... feels right.
464
00:31:41,799 --> 00:31:45,799
Yeah. It does that.
465
00:31:47,279 --> 00:31:49,039
- Everything good?
- Yeah.
466
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,078
Yeah, yeah. Never been better.
467
00:31:52,079 --> 00:31:56,079
OK, so we have lift off.
468
00:31:57,799 --> 00:31:59,638
Oh, come on!
469
00:31:59,851 --> 00:32:01,291
Oh!
470
00:32:14,661 --> 00:32:18,661
Just another hour
and we're in the clear.
471
00:32:18,901 --> 00:32:21,499
You're really into all this,
aren't you?
472
00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:25,379
The school, the way the kids
look up to you, the teachers.
473
00:32:25,380 --> 00:32:28,019
It's called
protecting your investment.
474
00:32:28,020 --> 00:32:29,579
You sure that's all it is?
475
00:32:29,580 --> 00:32:31,179
Course I'm fuckin' sure.
476
00:32:31,180 --> 00:32:33,339
These corridors are paved with gold
477
00:32:33,340 --> 00:32:35,101
and it's all going
straight into my pocket.
478
00:32:35,102 --> 00:32:36,700
All right.
479
00:32:36,701 --> 00:32:39,061
If anyone's too into this,
it's your Dom.
480
00:32:39,062 --> 00:32:43,061
Yeah. A real showman, that one.
481
00:32:43,621 --> 00:32:47,621
He just loves pretending
to be somebody else.
482
00:32:55,461 --> 00:32:58,099
Is there a union
we can join or something?
483
00:32:58,100 --> 00:33:01,381
Lil, you do realise
we're not real teachers, right?
484
00:33:01,382 --> 00:33:05,381
You might not be a real teacher.
485
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,079
Pizza? Really?
486
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,080
Well, it covers four of the...
487
00:33:21,081 --> 00:33:23,199
Stop babbling.
488
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,079
You're getting a pass.
489
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:28,398
A weak one with notes in the margin
but it's still a pass.
490
00:33:28,399 --> 00:33:30,840
I've always tried to maintain
the highest standards.
491
00:33:30,841 --> 00:33:34,840
The less you speak,
the better it'll be for everybody.
492
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,399
Oh, shite!
493
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,160
Get out! Get out!
494
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,638
We shouldn't be exposed
to these kinds of things.
495
00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:43,480
We're fuckin' courtesans,
ladies of pleasure.
496
00:34:43,481 --> 00:34:47,480
Fire! Fire! Coming through! Fire!
497
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:56,840
What was that? Al-Qaeda or
the fucking paddies starting up?
498
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,959
Let Hercules himself do what he may.
499
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,839
The cat will mew
500
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,840
and dog will have his day.
501
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,839
That is from Hamlet
502
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:29,932
and it means you are all
in a hell a lot of trouble!
503
00:35:38,861 --> 00:35:40,620
I feel sorry for you.
504
00:35:40,621 --> 00:35:44,061
You went to all that effort
to set up those microwaves,
505
00:35:44,062 --> 00:35:46,060
the cans in them...
506
00:35:46,061 --> 00:35:47,780
big boom...
507
00:35:47,781 --> 00:35:50,980
and you didn't even scratch me.
508
00:35:50,981 --> 00:35:54,981
I mean, that's pathetic.
509
00:35:55,741 --> 00:35:59,020
There are kids your age
in Sierra Leone,
510
00:35:59,021 --> 00:36:03,021
with AK-47s and twice the balls
you'll ever have!
511
00:36:04,141 --> 00:36:06,819
You know,
when I first heard about you,
512
00:36:06,820 --> 00:36:10,821
I thought "Maybe here's a lad who's
going to show me something new.
513
00:36:12,221 --> 00:36:16,221
"Something interesting.
Maybe he'll even surprise me."
514
00:36:18,381 --> 00:36:22,381
But you can't, can you, Adam?
Because you're mediocre.
515
00:36:24,618 --> 00:36:26,618
And you always will be.
516
00:36:34,418 --> 00:36:38,418
So how does it feel?
Now you've spoken to dad.
517
00:36:39,058 --> 00:36:43,058
Yeah, great. Like, y'know,
a weight off my mind.
518
00:36:44,778 --> 00:36:48,778
No, I can't do this, Kas.
I didn't feel a thing.
519
00:36:48,978 --> 00:36:51,618
I'm a bad person -
this was a mistake.
520
00:36:51,619 --> 00:36:53,297
Jamie...
521
00:36:53,298 --> 00:36:54,416
I've done time in jail,
522
00:36:54,417 --> 00:36:57,216
I've been involved in shit that
would turn your shite white.
523
00:36:57,217 --> 00:36:58,856
You're clever, you're driven,
524
00:36:58,857 --> 00:37:00,696
you've got this great kid
who's all sorted.
525
00:37:00,697 --> 00:37:03,418
I'm just a fuck-up.
It's not funny, it's...
526
00:37:03,419 --> 00:37:06,137
Jamie.
527
00:37:06,138 --> 00:37:10,138
I lied to you.
Dad's ashes weren't scattered here.
528
00:37:12,618 --> 00:37:14,098
Then where are they scattered?
529
00:37:14,099 --> 00:37:18,098
Dunno. I don't even know where
they are.
530
00:37:18,338 --> 00:37:20,818
Left 'em in the back of a taxi
when I was doing a runner.
531
00:37:20,819 --> 00:37:21,617
Why?
532
00:37:21,618 --> 00:37:23,976
Well, because it was eight quid
fifty and I only had
533
00:37:23,977 --> 00:37:26,618
a fiver on me and you know
they always fiddle the meter anyway.
534
00:37:26,619 --> 00:37:30,618
Why did you tell me they were here?
Acting all serious...
535
00:37:32,458 --> 00:37:34,858
Because I thought
that's what you wanted.
536
00:37:34,859 --> 00:37:38,577
I'm only here because I thought
it's what you wanted!
537
00:37:38,578 --> 00:37:42,578
Mate... I'm a fuck up too.
Not just losing Dad's ashes.
538
00:37:44,418 --> 00:37:46,817
I mean, I've been bankrupt.
539
00:37:46,818 --> 00:37:50,818
And Tam, well they gave him
a little holiday from school
540
00:37:52,418 --> 00:37:55,338
for sending photos of his cock
to the English teacher!
541
00:37:57,858 --> 00:38:01,858
Looks like he's just shown it
to my missus.
542
00:38:09,578 --> 00:38:12,977
The point is - fucking up happens.
543
00:38:12,978 --> 00:38:16,856
And I figure, two brothers,
walking around acting all serious
544
00:38:16,857 --> 00:38:19,578
trying to make the other one
feel better...
545
00:38:19,579 --> 00:38:23,578
well, it can't all be bad, right?
546
00:38:26,778 --> 00:38:30,778
You really are a fuck up.
547
00:38:38,538 --> 00:38:42,538
Fight, fight, fight!
548
00:38:47,258 --> 00:38:51,258
Listen, you can't blame Banbury
for this. He let a kid come back.
549
00:38:51,938 --> 00:38:54,417
Teachers walked out.
550
00:38:54,418 --> 00:38:57,217
Look. I'm going to be nice
551
00:38:57,218 --> 00:39:00,777
and save you the trouble of a
beautiful speech.
552
00:39:00,778 --> 00:39:04,778
Some wonderful oration to
melt my heart and stay my pen.
553
00:39:06,538 --> 00:39:10,538
It's not going to happen.
There are rules!
554
00:39:10,898 --> 00:39:13,417
Regulations!
555
00:39:13,418 --> 00:39:15,537
Correct ways of doing things.
556
00:39:15,538 --> 00:39:19,057
He touched me!
557
00:39:19,382 --> 00:39:20,421
What?!
558
00:39:20,422 --> 00:39:23,741
Him. He touched me.
In my private area.
559
00:39:23,742 --> 00:39:25,341
In the toilets.
560
00:39:25,342 --> 00:39:29,342
This is ridiculous!
Obviously just another set-up.
561
00:39:29,702 --> 00:39:31,261
Nothing to do with me.
562
00:39:31,262 --> 00:39:33,300
Nobody is going to believe him.
563
00:39:33,301 --> 00:39:36,620
All allegations of abuse must be
dealt with seriously.
564
00:39:36,621 --> 00:39:39,900
If the child is in immediate trouble
the police should be called.
565
00:39:39,901 --> 00:39:43,702
Otherwise it must be taken to
the council Children's Services.
566
00:39:43,703 --> 00:39:45,181
These are the rules,
567
00:39:45,182 --> 00:39:49,182
the regulations... the correct
way of doing things.
568
00:39:49,742 --> 00:39:51,540
I'm sure your name will be cleared.
569
00:39:51,541 --> 00:39:55,462
Family, friends, colleagues won't
ever think less of you.
570
00:39:55,463 --> 00:39:59,462
No nagging doubts.
Smoke without fire, so to speak.
571
00:40:02,502 --> 00:40:04,221
Are you threatening me?
572
00:40:04,222 --> 00:40:06,421
Offering you a solution, love.
573
00:40:06,422 --> 00:40:09,820
One word in this kid's ear
and he'll keep his trap shut.
574
00:40:09,821 --> 00:40:13,060
I'll make sure the teachers come
back, the world keeps turning,
575
00:40:13,061 --> 00:40:17,062
and you can wheel on in next week,
full inspection, proper this time.
576
00:40:19,342 --> 00:40:21,300
You've no justification for this.
577
00:40:21,301 --> 00:40:23,380
I am here to make sure
the school runs properly.
578
00:40:23,381 --> 00:40:27,382
Believe me, I give more of a shite
about this place than anyone else.
579
00:40:27,782 --> 00:40:29,781
You have my word on that.
580
00:40:29,782 --> 00:40:33,782
Your word?!
I don't even know what you are!
581
00:40:34,422 --> 00:40:38,422
I'm Mrs Tutton. Head of the PTA.
582
00:40:51,622 --> 00:40:55,622
OK. That got my attention.
583
00:40:56,182 --> 00:40:59,501
Now go away
and ask about the Maguire family.
584
00:40:59,502 --> 00:41:03,502
Look 'em up online.
Have a read, have a think.
585
00:41:04,702 --> 00:41:08,702
Could always use someone like you.
When you get out.
586
00:41:09,742 --> 00:41:11,742
Because the way you're going now,
587
00:41:11,743 --> 00:41:15,742
it's Borstal, then Strangeways,
then a life pissed away!
588
00:41:18,902 --> 00:41:22,902
And I'd hate to see that happen.
589
00:41:30,742 --> 00:41:32,500
You can take those glasses off now.
590
00:41:32,501 --> 00:41:34,662
Oh, I like them,
makes me look intellectual,
591
00:41:34,663 --> 00:41:36,901
even more intellectual.
592
00:41:36,902 --> 00:41:40,902
We can nip away every so often.
Be someone else, like we were today.
593
00:41:41,182 --> 00:41:43,541
So we'd lie about who we are...
594
00:41:43,542 --> 00:41:47,542
"Lie" is a bit strong. It's more
like... we'd have secret identities.
595
00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:54,381
Don't you think
if we have to work that hard to try
596
00:41:54,382 --> 00:41:57,380
and hide something,
well then there's a bigger
597
00:41:57,381 --> 00:41:59,222
problem at the heart of it all?
598
00:41:59,223 --> 00:42:03,222
Let he who is without sin cast
the first stone.
599
00:42:10,182 --> 00:42:12,301
I'll give you that, Dom,
600
00:42:12,302 --> 00:42:16,302
you always manage to find faith
somewhere.
601
00:42:25,622 --> 00:42:29,622
Come on.
602
00:42:31,222 --> 00:42:33,781
This was
603
00:42:33,782 --> 00:42:36,101
a fucking disaster...
604
00:42:36,102 --> 00:42:39,620
Oh, come on, Russell. You've got
another shot at the inspection.
605
00:42:39,621 --> 00:42:43,622
Adam Wiggins is out your hair, and
all the teachers are back on Monday.
606
00:42:49,742 --> 00:42:53,742
I believe there's something
you want to say to me.
607
00:42:58,462 --> 00:43:02,462
Thank you, Mrs Tutton.
608
00:43:12,622 --> 00:43:15,622
'Maybe the thing about our secret
identities is that they might
609
00:43:15,623 --> 00:43:17,821
'be hidden to ourselves.'
610
00:43:17,822 --> 00:43:20,941
Oh - you remind me of that fella.
611
00:43:20,942 --> 00:43:22,661
Who's that? James Bond?
612
00:43:22,662 --> 00:43:24,061
No, the other one.
613
00:43:24,062 --> 00:43:25,622
Simon Templar. The Saint?
614
00:43:25,623 --> 00:43:29,622
Hurricane Higgins.
615
00:43:31,342 --> 00:43:35,342
'Like the man who discovered the
simple joys of a hard day's work.'
616
00:43:40,902 --> 00:43:42,741
On the house.
617
00:43:42,742 --> 00:43:44,341
Oh, cheers.
618
00:43:44,342 --> 00:43:47,620
Eh, you did good today, kid.
They'll be calling this place
619
00:43:47,621 --> 00:43:49,022
St Mimi's before too long.
620
00:43:49,023 --> 00:43:50,382
Shut up.
621
00:43:56,342 --> 00:44:00,342
Just do half this time, eh?
622
00:44:00,502 --> 00:44:01,982
'Or the woman who found her place
623
00:44:01,983 --> 00:44:05,061
'a million miles from where
she expected it.
624
00:44:05,062 --> 00:44:07,340
'That's a million miles
metaphorically.
625
00:44:07,341 --> 00:44:09,862
'Obviously. Not like she went
to outer space. Y'know,
626
00:44:09,863 --> 00:44:11,341
'Mars or something.
627
00:44:11,342 --> 00:44:14,180
'Or the boy who grew up
and found a brother that he had
628
00:44:14,181 --> 00:44:16,502
'more in common with that he'd
ever have realised.'
629
00:44:16,503 --> 00:44:18,782
There's room for one more, mate.
630
00:44:22,862 --> 00:44:26,862
Cheers, mate. Nice to meet you.
631
00:44:31,622 --> 00:44:35,622
'And the man who found love,
found a purpose in life.'
632
00:44:38,422 --> 00:44:41,060
'Had searched for God
in the strangest of places,
633
00:44:41,061 --> 00:44:45,062
'but found it in her crooked smile,
her dolphin blue eyes,
634
00:44:45,222 --> 00:44:49,222
'the way her hair hung upon
her face...'
635
00:44:52,702 --> 00:44:56,702
'But didn't realise that wasn't
who he was at all.'
636
00:44:59,102 --> 00:45:01,181
Are you waiting for someone?
637
00:45:01,182 --> 00:45:04,102
'He was just a man,
waiting for the girl he loved...'
638
00:45:04,103 --> 00:45:05,581
No.
639
00:45:05,582 --> 00:45:09,541
'..Who was never going to show.'
640
00:45:09,542 --> 00:45:12,380
'And she told herself that
this was for the best.
641
00:45:12,381 --> 00:45:15,462
'That leaving was the only thing
she could do.
642
00:45:15,463 --> 00:45:18,861
'She would be just be Gloria again.
643
00:45:18,862 --> 00:45:20,481
'Somewhere else.'
644
00:45:20,495 --> 00:45:22,573
You keep the takings
in a railway locker?
645
00:45:22,574 --> 00:45:23,973
Very secure, them lockers.
646
00:45:23,974 --> 00:45:27,333
She reckons there's upwards of three
grand in there. She never counts it.
647
00:45:27,334 --> 00:45:30,053
Problem with a teacher letting
the side down.
648
00:45:30,054 --> 00:45:32,453
The headmaster has personally asked
me to sort her out.
649
00:45:32,454 --> 00:45:34,973
Stick with me - I'll make
a new woman of you.
650
00:45:34,974 --> 00:45:37,173
Twelve grand.
And that's just this lot.
651
00:45:37,174 --> 00:45:39,733
All she's expecting is
a couple of stags.
652
00:45:39,734 --> 00:45:42,253
Me and Kelly, come into a bit
of money - ripped it off!
653
00:45:42,254 --> 00:45:44,094
- You want to launder some money?
- Shhh!
654
00:45:44,095 --> 00:45:45,597
Are you robbing us?
655
00:45:45,730 --> 00:46:25,613
656
00:46:27,005 --> 00:46:29,884
Come on, Frank! Come back out!
657
00:46:29,968 --> 00:46:31,367
Frank!
658
00:46:31,368 --> 00:46:35,368
OK.
659
00:46:35,808 --> 00:46:39,808
OK.
660
00:46:44,648 --> 00:46:48,648
Ahh, you fuckin'
parasite, you war criminal!
661
00:46:54,528 --> 00:46:57,728
Fuck it.
Let's have another go on the swing.
662
00:46:57,778 --> 00:47:02,328
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