All language subtitles for Samantha Who s02e10 My Best Friend Boyfriend.eng

Being single is completely underrated.

You can use up all the
hot water for long baths,

Not share the popcorn

And hog the remote to
flip through 500 channels.

This is helpful if you have amnesia.

You can fill in decades of info

In the time it takes
your nail polish to dry.

Did you know that hitler
had a mistress? What a jerk.

- History channel again?
- Yeah.

I only caught the second half, But
i think i pretty much got the gist.

Oh,look at this. You can
send coffee to the troops.

No. Put it down.

Why? It's a very nice thing to do.

Yeah,i thought it was a nice thing,too,

So i sent a pound of
sumatra dark and a note

And got a note back From captain
randy holt saying thank you,

And so i,just to be polite,
e-Mailed back,"you're welcome,"

And then he e-Mailed
me back, "what's up?"

So now i feel like i'm cheating
on chase and i led him on,

And i'm a coffee tease.

"Coffee,teas."

- See? The whole store knows!
- Oh,come on. Calm down.

You are not cheating on chase.

All right? He's just a lonely
soldier who wants news from home.

You know,just keep it to,
like,small talk,you know?

Boring stuff, like,oh,you know what?

Why don't you tell him that
story you told me three times

About your broken fridge...

hey.

Which i found thrilling,
but i think in his day,

It would be a nice break
from all the excitement.

Hey,andrea...

Shh. I'm on a date.

You and tony dane are still texting?

- Come on. When are you gonna meet him?
- Bup. Bup.

Look,i know he's a big
basketball star and everything,

But,you know, he
should take the time--

- Bup. Bah.
- Okay,why are you "bupping" me?

Look,it's okay.

You know,just 'cause
i'm not dating anyone

Doesn't mean that you can't talk
to me about your relationship.

That is exactly what it means.

Every time you're not
dating someone and i am,

You do everything you can
to try and break us up.

Oh,come on. I will never do...

Oh,and of course,i'm wrong.

I'm gonna go to the little
girls'room. I'll be right back.

You guys make a great couple.

- Mm-Hmm.
- Yeah.

Andrea must be really happy If she's
gonna try and go off her meds again.

Whoa.

You work out,huh?

Huh.

That'll be helpful when andrea's
husband gets out of prison.

Seriously?

You don't recognize her
from her "film" career?

No?

All right,look,i know that
used to happen,but i am...

- different now.
- different now.

- We know.
- Fine. Whatever. I will back off.

I just thought it would be a
nice story to tell your kids,

That mommy and daddy actually met once.

Look,we're trying to meet.

We're just very high-Powered
people with very busy schedules.

Oh.

Yeah,but it kinda seems like
he's the one who's always

- Canceling on you--
- Bup. Bup. Bup.

Bup. Bah. Bah. Bah. I know.

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Samantha
Who? Season02 Episode10

All right,turn on the tube.
The game starts in five minutes.

What channel is it on?

Todd? It's cameron. I
didn't hear from you.

I just called to see if you
wanted to meet up some time.

Cameron?

The dancer with the legs
and the daddy issues.

What the hell,man?

It's not my call. I don't know.

Man,i'd be all over that.
And that girl at the deli?

"Take a number. Here's mine."

They're dropping from trees out there.
What are you hanging around here for?

- Hey,guys.
- Hey.

Hey.

Shut up.

Todd,come on. What are you doing,man?

Well,you know,we've been hanging
out a lot lately--movies,dinners.

You know,maybe it'll grow from
friends into something else.

Todd,listen to me. You are
quickly becoming gay roommate.

If you want it to turn into something,

You gotta make her miss you.

- We live in the same apartment.
- Then get out. Be less available.

All right? Sam is smart.

Why buy the bull when you
can castrate it for free?

- Wow. That's--That's
beautiful,man. - Mm-Hmm.

Hey. Hey,seth...

- You work for tony dane,right?
- Towel boy.

Mock if you will,my friend,

but if it weren't for
me, he'd always be wet.

Yeah,well,you know,

I don't like the way that
he is treating andrea.

I mean,what--Why is
he stringing her along?

I mean,does he not
like her or something?

I mean,what is he afraid of
commitment? Like,what's the deal?

Well,i don't know. I'll--I'll The
next time we get our nails done.

Look,i need to talk to him,ok?

- Why?
- Because i owe her.

Look,i just need a way
to get to him... sethy.

So what,i just go in?

This is what you wanted.
Now here is your press pass.

If you get caught or
captured, i don't know you,

Because believe it or not,it is
possible for me to be demoted.

Really? Wow. Okay.

Good game. Good game.
Way to play. Way to play.

Oh,i'm sorry about that.
Ooh,that's a whole lot of naked.

- That's a whole...
- how did u guys give up 20 unanswered points in the fourth quarter?

We gotta come to play every night.

Anyone in this league can
beat you any night of the week,

So...you gotta rely on your
teammates. Any more questions?

Why do you keep canceling on Andrea Belladonna?

What paper are you with?

I happen to be with,uh...

"Heinie" magazine.

Anyway,why do you keep canceling on her?

What--What is it,are you a
commitment phobe or a big fat liar?

Which is it?

I'm not canceling on her.
She's canceling on me.

Really? That's weird.

Hey,andrea.

- What did you do?
- Me? Nothin'.This and that.

- You?
- Oh,me? Me?

I got a text message from tony dane.

He said,"some crazy blonde
came into my locker room

And accused me of
always canceling on you."

That paris hilton. God,she's everywhere.

You just had to get involved,didn't you?

- I told you to leave it alone.
- Yeah,well,you know what?

You also told me that
he was canceling on you.

So you know what? You lied to
me, And i--That's one of the sins.

Don't even!

Why don't you want to see him?

Because! Because it is perfect.

We text each other all the time.
We-We share things. We never fight.

It is the best relationship i've
ever had,And you just destroyed it.

I guess you managed to hear all that.

Some.

Mostly,i was writing a poem.

Ooh. Blah.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Hey.

I am completely afraid That a bug is
gonna crawl down my throat when i'm asleep.

I saw that on the discovery
channel Last night.

When did you start thinking
that your life needed a narrator?

Everyone is afraid of
something,all right?

Go out with tony.

You need more than a
text relationship,andrea.

You deserve that.

- And tony likes you.
- No. No.

he likes the stuff my phone says i say.

Okay? I mean, i could
be this perfect person,

And i plan every word, and
i could spell-Check myself.

I mean,what if i meet him, and every
word that just comes out of my mouth

Is just misspelled?

Well,if that's what you're
worried about,i'll go with you.

I'll bring todd. We can be like
the ricardos and the mertzes...

The flintstones and the rubbles.

Yeah,i've been watching way too much tv.

Yes.

Mr. Newly,hi. I have a situation.

I've been writing to a soldier in iraq,
And i may have mentioned in a letter

That my refrigerator's broken.
Today this one showed up.

And if my boyfriend--
My real boyfriend,chase,

Sees it at my place,
he'll know i'm cheating.

Regina,it's for you!

Uh...

Hey,todd,will you bring me my purse?

Hey,is the man of the house at home?

- I was getting this for samantha.
- Yeah,that's better.

Oh,um,before i forget,We are going
out with andrea tomorrow night,okay?

Hey,seth.

No.

- No?
- No. Not available.

Not even gonna say why.

Okay,well,i just thought You might
wanna hang out with tony dane,

But i guess i was wrong.

- Okay! Okay.
- Yay! 8:00.

This is you playing hard to
get,huh? So far i've only seen "get."

I'm hanging out with tony dane.

I can still ignore sam. In fact,this
way, She can see me ignore her.

It'll drive her nuts,huh? Up high!

- Gay...
- Shut up.

Roommate.

This is in farsi.

I should have stopped
writing captain randy.

Sam said it was okay,

but now look the poor guy is
sending me major appliances.

I mean,i-I have to get out of
this. It's tearing me apart.

I can't keep living two lives.

Honey,i don't think you're living one.

You gotta break up with this guy.

I can't break up with a soldier.I have
a "support the troops" sticker on my car.

Oh,then let me do it. Please?

I haven't broken up with anyone for so
long. It'll make me feel like a teenager.

No,it's my responsibility.

I'm--I'm just gonna
go and--And do it now.

Fine. Leave, but don't come back.

- Excuse me?
- No.

Please don't...

Don't make this any
harder than it needs to be.

We had our chance, but
our chance came and went.

People change.

So just...

Just walk away...

And always remember
the times that we had.

Oh! Oh!

You are so hired.

Hello? Thirsty.

- Mm.
- My drink?

Uh,you know, I-I forgot you were there

- Ahem.
- You know what? I should go.

Yeah,i have a big tort
complaint to prepare for,

And you don't even know what that
is, So you can't say i'm lying.

- Yeah.
- Here he comes.

You see? He hates me.

He doesn't. Just breathe,okay?

Andrea? Oh,it was
definitely worth the wait.

High-Lo.

I mean to say "hi," And--And
then i thought,"hello,"

And it came out like,"high-Lo."

Let me start again.

High-Lo.

Now philly-- That's a
tough town to play in.

Huh.

So are you two together or what?

- Uh,well,we used to be,but now we just live together.
- Nope. I'm alone. Lone wolf.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Yeah.

Oh,excuse me.

- Gay?
- Trust me.

Yeah,well, he wasn't before he went.

He--He took the urinal right next
to me, And then there was a look.

How does that make him gay?

- And then there was a nod.
- Okay,a look and a nod.

- That's it?
- And smile.

There was a look, a nod and a smile,sam.

The only thing missing was ice skates.

- Ice skates?
- Well,figure skaters are gay,right?

Look,i-I don't know.
This is not my scene.

Sam. Sam,come here.

Do not say anything,all right?
This is going really well,

And i'm not gonna let
anything screw it up. Okay?

Yeah?

Tony just said the most amazing
thing. Go ahead. Say it again.

- I just said i liked her shoes.
- No,no,no.

He said he liked my
vintage lacroix shoes.

I mean,really,what kind of man
notices something like that?

Sam,thoughts?

Look at her. She likes him.

Maybe she can change him.
It's possible,you know.

They have camps for that. I
saw it on the bible channel.

- Look,just tell her.
- Tell her what?

That she's in love with a gay
man? I can't tell her that.

She's just gonna think that i'm
sabotaging her relationship again.

Okay,so don't tell her.

She's in love with a gay man,
todd. How can i not tell her?

She's gonna get hurt.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You're right. You're right.

I don't tell her. I show her.

So if she sees it for herself,
then she can't be mad at me,right?

Thank you so much. You
are such a good friend. Oh!

Wait. Friend? No,no,no, I'm not your...

Damn it.

Hmm? Like it?

"Hey,look at me. I'm a breakup artist."

Nice stove.

I'm sorry.

He wrote and told me how hard it was for
him over there,and i wanted to relate,

So...i told him the pilot light
on my stove kept going out.

You were supposed to be
helping me out of this.

I couldn't do it.

I might be the only thing
keeping him alive at night.

Who are you keeping alive at night?

- My soldier.
- Oh,i'll break up with him.

I fire people all the time. No problem.

But nobody buys my wife a stove.

Including you.

Damn right.

Look at it.

You begged for it. Look at it.

Tony,you know,um,todd and i
were--Were talking this morning

About what our favorite characters
On "sex and the city" were,

And i was just curious what yours was.

You know,i've--I've never-- I've
never seen "sex and the city."

Mm-Hmm.

That's okay.

You know,let's put on
some music,all right?

Hey,tony,you can pick, 'cause
you're--You're the guest.

Um,we have foo fighters,

Metallica,

"Mamma mia."

Hey,what's your favorite musical,tony?

I'm really not into musicals.

Oh,really? So we're gonna
play it that way,huh?

Uh,andrea,i need to get some more
wine. Will you help me open up a bottle?

- Okay
- good.

You guys have fun.

I like him.

Oh,me,too. You
know,i think we--

I think you should have sex with him.

- What?
- Yeah,right now. Just try.

And then ob-Observe
what happens,you know?

If he says he's not in the mood,then...

then you tell him to get in the
mood or explain why not. Okay?

- That sounds kinda hot.
- Yeah,it is,kinda.

But i like him. I really do.

I think i kinda want to
take it slow with him.

Oh,my god.

Maybe some of the new
u is rubbing off on me.

Ah.

Now?

Oh,god.

What are you doing leaving
me out there with him?

- I'm a pleaser. You know that.
- Look, Andrea is just not getting it.

- I need you to sleep with tony dane.
- Sorry?

Well,we already know that he likes you,

So we just need him to,like,
hion you in front of her.

Oh,i know what we could
do. We could go in there.

We could--We could all start
dancing,and then i-I'll switch,

And then you can start
dancing with tony...

- wait,wait,wait,wait. - And i'll start
dancing with-- You and i will switch with them.

- No. No,no,no.
- Then you start dancing with him.

- Let's just open this up a little bit. Let me just open this up.
- Will you just cut it out?

- Put some oil on there because i think it needs to shimmer.
- Stop. Stop it!

What you doing? I'm not your toy,

i'm not your pal,i'm not your
girlfriend, and i'm not your gay roommate.

I'm here,okay? Right here.

And i guess that's the problem.

Drama queen,huh?

Snap.

- Where's andrea?
- Uh,bathroom.

Oh,good. Then it's just the two of us.

All right,tony,come on.
You can be straight with me.

- I-I'm sorry. That's a very poor choice
of words. - What you talking about?

- Tony,i think you know.
- Do i?

Tony,i know what happened in
the men's room with todd,okay?

And--And--And andrea
is my best friend,

And i'm not gonna stand
by and let her get hurt.

Look,she's gonna understand,

you know?I-I have admitted so many horrible
things to her,And she's always forgiven me.

Not that being gay is horrible Or--Or
needs to be forgiven or anything like that.

I actually think it's good.
I think it's--It's--Go,gays!

So...

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh,what's going on?

Andrea,um...

This i't easy to say.

It's okay. It's
okay,tony. It's all right.

Andrea,tony has something
that he needs to tell you.

- Sam tried to hit on me.
- What?!

Sam!

No! No. What?

And i-I don't want to come
between the two of you,

But i think,you know, we
should--We should just go.

I was not hitting on him.I
was not hitting on you.

I was--Why would
i hit on him?

He's gay!

Yeah,you're gay.

He's gay.

There. Oh,god,i said it. I said it.

Whew. Big weight lifted now.

Oh,honey,he is gay.

Oh,my god.

Honestly,sam, A new low,even for you.

- What? No.
- Mm!

He's gay.

He was staring at todd's...

Maybe i do have some sort of pathological
need to destroy all of her relationships.

You know,it's,like,i don't
know if tony dane is gay.

I could be totally wrong.

My boyfriend in college was gay.

We didn't know it at the
time. I mean,he knew it,

And all the members of the,you know,
man alive choir,But i did not see it.

Yeah. Now andrea hasn't
called me back for two days.

Todd's avoiding me. He
leaves before i even get up.

Well,did you do something make him mad?

Like ask him to oil up
and seduce tony dane?

Hmm. No. Just that.

Hi.

Hey,guys.

Hey.

- Guess who's gay.
- No one. No one's gay,

And anyone who says that they
are Are just kidding themselves.

Tony dane.

Maybe not. Maybe i'm
just being narrow-Minded.

You know what? In europe,
straight guys--They hold hands,

They walk right on--They
walk right on down the street.

No,he's gay. He told me himself.

- He did?
- Mm-Hmm.

You know that i was not
trying to break you guys up.

Yes,and today we're leaking
our relationship to the press.

Okay,i know that i'm
the one with amnesia,

But that still means when two
guys love each other and they...

- mm-Hmm. Yeah. -
No,look,this is all good.

Tony gets to have me on his arm, And i
get paparazzi,press and private planes,

And i get to see
whoever i want in secret,

So you know what,sam? You were right.

I need more out of
a relationship--Fame.

Okay.

- Are you sure that this is what you want?
- Yes. Yes.

- Really?
- Hey. Bup.

It's just a little weird to
have a guy who's just a friend.

It doesn't have to be. I
mean,look at me and todd.

No,it only works if one of you is gay.

Why?

Because there's always one of you that
wants something more than the other one.

Usually me.

Or todd.

Oh,god. I am such an idiot.

Of course he was mad i was
trying to put oil on him.

I mean,who wants to
be treated like that?

Chase. He loves it when I take baby oil

Ew. Bup-Bup.
Bup-Bup.

I saw this thing the discovery channel
or something about the theory of matter,

That matter exists in different forms.

I think the same thing applies to love.

Love is like liquid.It can flow
outward and bring life to a desert...

he's very charming.

You know,he's only on leave for
a week.Just show him a good time.

I can't show him a good time.
You show him a good time.

- Regina,it's for you!
- Hey.

Love can be a gas-- Light as air and
assuming the shape of its container...

I mean,it's crazy. I have been
so busy with other people's lives

That i have paid no attention
to what's happening in mine.

Like todd

I mean,if he has feelings for
me, We need to talk about that

And about my feelings
about his feelings for me

Or if i have feelings for him
and my feelings about that.

You know?

So i'm just gonna open up some
wine And settle in for a nice chat.

White wine and feelings--
He's a very lucky man.

Good night,miss newly.

Good night,frank.

Hey,todd?

Hey. Can we just
talk about some--

Hi.

You there.

Hi.

Hi.

Sam,this is cameron.

We were just going out.

Yeah. Okay,good. Hi.

Th's--You'll like
that. Yeah. And him.

You'll like him, 'cause he's not... gay.

You wanted to talk?

Hmm? Me? No. I'm good.

Have fun. Yeah.

Plus,i only got enough
wine for one,so...

So yeah.

And like matter,love can't
be created or destroyed.

It's always there, even
if you can't see it,

Even if it's right
there in front of you.

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