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1
00:00:01,831 --> 00:00:06,368
All right, Lee, and action!
2
00:00:06,435 --> 00:00:10,472
- Ooh! [sighs]
- George.
3
00:00:10,539 --> 00:00:13,008
[mariachi music playing]
Lee Trevino, que te pasa?
4
00:00:13,075 --> 00:00:18,613
- No tengo mucha energia.
- Ay! Toma esto!
5
00:00:18,681 --> 00:00:21,416
Both: Ay! La Energia!
6
00:00:23,386 --> 00:00:26,521
La Energia!
It's a hole in one!
7
00:00:26,589 --> 00:00:30,492
- La Energia! Toma!
- And cut!
8
00:00:30,559 --> 00:00:31,860
- Excellent try, thank you!
- Whoo!
9
00:00:31,927 --> 00:00:35,230
- That was really great.
- Hey, Lee, thank you so much.
10
00:00:35,298 --> 00:00:36,631
- No problem, my friend.
- I really appreciate it.
11
00:00:36,699 --> 00:00:38,233
Hey, you're the reason
I started playing golf, man.
12
00:00:38,301 --> 00:00:40,702
Without you, I only thought
Mexicans were good
13
00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:43,438
at a country club to cut the grass.
[laughter]
14
00:00:43,506 --> 00:00:45,307
What are you doing Saturday?
15
00:00:45,374 --> 00:00:48,109
I've got a little charity Pro-Am
at the Woodlands.
16
00:00:48,177 --> 00:00:49,244
- The Woodlands?
- Yeah.
17
00:00:49,312 --> 00:00:51,913
- Lee, that's my club!
- I know. And you wanna play?
18
00:00:51,981 --> 00:00:53,548
Wait a minute, you want me
to play golf with you?
19
00:00:53,616 --> 00:00:57,352
- I do.
- Lee, nothing could keep me from it.
20
00:00:57,420 --> 00:00:59,354
- I'll see you there.
- All right. Thank you.
21
00:00:59,422 --> 00:01:02,023
I'm playing golf with Lee Trevino!
22
00:01:03,307 --> 00:01:07,807
Hush falls over the crowd.
Lopez is one putt away
23
00:01:07,875 --> 00:01:10,243
from becoming the first Mexican
to win the U.S. Open
24
00:01:10,311 --> 00:01:14,847
since his new best friend Lee Trevino.
25
00:01:14,915 --> 00:01:18,151
He takes the putter back, Johnny.
The ball is on the way.
26
00:01:18,218 --> 00:01:20,820
It looks good.
It's in the hole!
27
00:01:20,888 --> 00:01:23,323
Lopez is the new champion!
Vamanos!
28
00:01:23,390 --> 00:01:25,058
Night!
29
00:01:28,395 --> 00:01:30,530
Always cleaning.
30
00:01:30,598 --> 00:01:33,132
That's the only part of you
that's still Mexican.
31
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,902
[chuckles] No. I got unwanted
relatives living with me too.
32
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,971
That's Mexican.
33
00:01:38,038 --> 00:01:40,106
You know what, you don't even
know how to do that.
34
00:01:40,174 --> 00:01:41,708
[screams]
Oh!
35
00:01:41,775 --> 00:01:46,646
- My ass!
- Mom, are you all right?
36
00:01:46,714 --> 00:01:50,149
No, I'm fine.
Just leave me on the floor.
37
00:01:50,217 --> 00:01:51,718
That wouldn't be right.
38
00:01:51,785 --> 00:01:53,853
Somebody could walk in and trip
over you and hurt themselves.
39
00:01:53,921 --> 00:01:55,388
I'm taking you to the emergency room.
40
00:01:55,456 --> 00:01:59,392
No, you're not! It's full
of Mexicans with no money.
41
00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:01,327
Then you'll fit right in.
Come on, let's go.
42
00:02:01,395 --> 00:02:04,631
[sighs]
Uh...
43
00:02:04,698 --> 00:02:06,132
What are you doing?
44
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,067
I'm trying to figure out
a way to carry you...
45
00:02:08,135 --> 00:02:11,571
but without actually touching you.
All right.
46
00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:13,973
Don't put your hand there unless
you buy me a margarita first.
47
00:02:14,041 --> 00:02:16,542
Oh!
48
00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:19,779
Okay, hold on, don't move.
49
00:02:19,847 --> 00:02:21,881
All right.
50
00:02:21,949 --> 00:02:25,818
I'm sure you've heard this
before, mom. [chuckles] Roll over.
51
00:02:27,154 --> 00:02:28,721
[grunts]
52
00:02:28,789 --> 00:02:30,089
I'm taking you
to the emergency room.
53
00:02:30,157 --> 00:02:31,057
- Ay!
- Okay.
54
00:02:31,125 --> 00:02:32,725
[yelling in Spanish]
55
00:02:32,793 --> 00:02:34,093
Can you make it
the rest of the way?
56
00:02:34,161 --> 00:02:36,496
- What?
- Okay.
57
00:02:36,563 --> 00:02:39,065
[yelling in Spanish]
58
00:02:39,133 --> 00:02:42,068
1x06 - Carry on Wayward Son
59
00:02:42,136 --> 00:02:44,170
'Sup, fool?
60
00:02:44,371 --> 00:02:47,367
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
61
00:02:47,908 --> 00:02:49,275
[knocking on door]
62
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:52,211
- How are you feeling?
- Sore.
63
00:02:52,279 --> 00:02:54,514
Like the morning after
your father came home drunk
64
00:02:54,581 --> 00:02:56,816
on mezcal and made you.
65
00:02:56,817 --> 00:03:00,053
- I ate the worm that night.
- Oh.
66
00:03:01,088 --> 00:03:05,058
How did the brothers Grimm
miss that fairy tale?
67
00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:07,760
Okay, listen.
Here are your painkillers, okay?
68
00:03:07,828 --> 00:03:11,030
You heard the doctor.
Mom, you have a bruised tailbone,
69
00:03:11,031 --> 00:03:12,832
so you gotta stay in bed for three days.
70
00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:15,601
He also gave me the number
of a, uh, home care nurse.
71
00:03:15,669 --> 00:03:18,254
No nurses.
They're all negras who will
72
00:03:18,255 --> 00:03:21,040
go through my underwear drawer
and steal my valuables.
73
00:03:21,108 --> 00:03:23,309
All right,
I'll get you a Filipino then!
74
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:26,546
They'll steal
the neighbor's dog and eat it.
75
00:03:26,613 --> 00:03:28,881
All right, then I'll get you
a Mexican nurse.
76
00:03:28,949 --> 00:03:30,983
They're the worst!
Mexicanos.
77
00:03:31,051 --> 00:03:33,436
They'll steal everything.
Then they'll wear it
78
00:03:33,437 --> 00:03:38,357
in front of you and say,
"oh, this? It was a gift."
79
00:03:38,425 --> 00:03:42,862
You're my son.
You take care of me.
80
00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:45,264
[laughs]
81
00:03:45,332 --> 00:03:46,966
You know, I don't know
if I want the responsibility
82
00:03:47,034 --> 00:03:50,236
of keeping you alive.
83
00:03:50,304 --> 00:03:53,439
I gotta be honest,
I lack the motivation.
84
00:03:53,507 --> 00:03:55,575
Juanita's son sat with her
day and night
85
00:03:55,642 --> 00:03:58,081
- when she broke her leg.
- Oscar?
86
00:03:58,135 --> 00:04:01,514
He pushed her down those stairs
so he could steal her check.
87
00:04:01,582 --> 00:04:04,383
But the point is he took care of her.
88
00:04:04,451 --> 00:04:05,752
[sighs]
89
00:04:05,819 --> 00:04:08,688
This is what we do.
We take care of our own.
90
00:04:08,756 --> 00:04:13,159
All right!
No nurse.
91
00:04:13,227 --> 00:04:16,996
- Can I get you anything?
- Some water.
92
00:04:17,064 --> 00:04:18,798
- Be right back.
- George!
93
00:04:18,866 --> 00:04:23,002
From the tap. None of
that bottled water you buy.
94
00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:26,172
You know who buys water?
Stupids.
95
00:04:27,374 --> 00:04:29,776
- Okay.
- George!
96
00:04:29,843 --> 00:04:32,011
And when you come back you
gotta cut my toenails, please.
97
00:04:32,079 --> 00:04:35,314
Last night the fungus came back.
[gags]
98
00:04:37,718 --> 00:04:39,886
[doorbell rings]
99
00:04:42,531 --> 00:04:46,228
- Did you forget something?
- Dad, my bassoon class?
100
00:04:46,375 --> 00:04:48,556
Oh, man, I'm sorry, Harper...
I forgot to pick you up.
101
00:04:48,746 --> 00:04:52,206
Grandma fell and I had to
take her to the hospital.
102
00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:56,965
Yes. She's gonna be fine.
Thanks you for asking.
103
00:04:57,018 --> 00:04:59,572
- What happened?
- She bruised her tailbone.
104
00:04:59,769 --> 00:05:03,128
- She's stuck upstairs in bed.
- That's terrible.
105
00:05:03,363 --> 00:05:07,024
Harper, go play the bassoon
for your grandma,
106
00:05:07,119 --> 00:05:09,215
that Bulgarian folk song
you don't know very well.
107
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:12,361
I don't want to.
Grandma is like a gremlin.
108
00:05:12,452 --> 00:05:16,901
I know. But do it for me.
Do it for all of us.
109
00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:20,371
And you're right too.
She is like a gremlin.
110
00:05:20,438 --> 00:05:22,339
Look, I'm sorry I forgot
to pick up Harper,
111
00:05:22,407 --> 00:05:24,441
but my mom has been
running me ragged all day.
112
00:05:24,509 --> 00:05:25,809
How long is she going to be laid up?
113
00:05:25,877 --> 00:05:27,778
For three days.
She can't get out of bed.
114
00:05:27,846 --> 00:05:29,914
I can't find anybody to watch her.
115
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,315
And right when I'm supposed
to play golf
116
00:05:31,383 --> 00:05:35,019
- with Lee Trevino tomorrow.
- Lee Trevino! He's your idol!
117
00:05:35,086 --> 00:05:39,216
I know. Playing golf with Lee
Trevino's like a dream come true!
118
00:05:39,724 --> 00:05:43,661
- Like a dream come true!
- Not gonna happen.
119
00:05:43,728 --> 00:05:46,330
- Come on!
- No way I'm watching your mother.
120
00:05:46,398 --> 00:05:47,631
- Hire a nurse.
- She won't let me.
121
00:05:47,699 --> 00:05:50,201
She won't let you.
So you're gonna give up on your
122
00:05:50,202 --> 00:05:51,135
dream because of your mother?
123
00:05:51,202 --> 00:05:54,104
I wouldn't have to give up on
my dream if you would watch her.
124
00:05:54,172 --> 00:05:56,840
George, she is getting older.
She is gonna get sick.
125
00:05:56,908 --> 00:05:58,342
One day...
126
00:05:58,410 --> 00:06:00,210
[quietly] you might
have to put her in a home.
127
00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:03,247
I'm not putting my mom in a
home like you did to your dad
128
00:06:03,315 --> 00:06:06,350
the first time he couldn't
remember where he put his car keys.
129
00:06:06,418 --> 00:06:08,966
My dad is very happy at Sunset Acres.
130
00:06:09,018 --> 00:06:13,266
He has friends, they have activities,
there's some talk of getting a bunny.
131
00:06:13,301 --> 00:06:15,487
Yeah, it sounds delightful.
132
00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:17,405
When was the last time
you went to visit him?
133
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,994
Well... [scoffs] I am
very busy with Harper.
134
00:06:20,062 --> 00:06:22,096
- And my charity work.
- Hm.
135
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:26,467
And... I hate...
going there.
136
00:06:26,535 --> 00:06:29,937
How can a place so clean
smell so bad?
137
00:06:30,005 --> 00:06:33,365
And, like, three of the guys
think I'm their dead wife.
138
00:06:34,776 --> 00:06:36,677
You see, that's the
difference between us.
139
00:06:36,745 --> 00:06:38,746
Latinos, we take care of our own.
140
00:06:38,814 --> 00:06:40,548
Even if we put them on the couch to rot.
141
00:06:40,616 --> 00:06:42,917
We know they're dead
when the mailman comes
142
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,853
and they don't go see
if their check came.
143
00:06:45,921 --> 00:06:48,414
Hey, fat ass!
More ointment!
144
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,057
It's itching again!
145
00:06:50,125 --> 00:06:53,461
Well, scratch it with one
of your gnarly toenails, bitch!
146
00:06:53,528 --> 00:06:55,630
Oh, that's how you
take care of your own?
147
00:06:55,697 --> 00:06:58,199
Yes. With complete contempt.
148
00:06:58,266 --> 00:07:01,369
At least I'm yelling at her
in person, hmm?
149
00:07:01,436 --> 00:07:04,739
When was the last time you
yelled at your dad in person?
150
00:07:04,806 --> 00:07:06,040
[scoffs]
151
00:07:06,108 --> 00:07:10,778
He's probably right now petting
his sock thinking it's a bunny.
152
00:07:10,846 --> 00:07:12,680
Look how the nose twitches.
153
00:07:17,945 --> 00:07:20,245
Here you go, gentlemen!
Huh?
154
00:07:20,313 --> 00:07:22,914
Two ice-cold beers.
Look at that condensation.
155
00:07:24,183 --> 00:07:25,750
Thanks for the kettle corn.
156
00:07:25,818 --> 00:07:28,186
It's my favorite...
both sweet and salty.
157
00:07:28,254 --> 00:07:29,788
How do they do that?
158
00:07:29,856 --> 00:07:32,824
Okay, you guys okay?
You need anything?
159
00:07:32,892 --> 00:07:34,226
Hey, junior, put your feet
on the coffee table.
160
00:07:34,293 --> 00:07:37,362
Come on, buddy, huh?
Anything else I can get you guys?
161
00:07:37,430 --> 00:07:38,763
Okay, what do you want, Georgie?
162
00:07:38,831 --> 00:07:40,232
What makes you think I want something?
163
00:07:40,299 --> 00:07:46,104
Because you never call me "buddy."
That's even too white for you, Georgie.
164
00:07:46,272 --> 00:07:49,174
And feet on the coffee table?
That's too latino for you.
165
00:07:49,242 --> 00:07:52,010
Okay, I got a little
bit of a favor to ask.
166
00:07:52,078 --> 00:07:57,082
You brought the wrong cheese, idiot!
I said pepper jack!
167
00:07:57,149 --> 00:07:59,851
Okay, a little bit more
than a favor to ask.
168
00:07:59,919 --> 00:08:03,154
And help me get out of my brassier.
169
00:08:03,222 --> 00:08:06,191
Take this crazy bitch off my hands!
170
00:08:06,259 --> 00:08:08,293
The last time Daddy took care of her
171
00:08:08,361 --> 00:08:11,029
her negativity
really eroded his self-esteem.
172
00:08:11,097 --> 00:08:14,599
I was questioning my place
in the universe.
173
00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:18,018
So there's nothing that'll...
change your mind?
174
00:08:18,828 --> 00:08:22,774
Not even these...
"Corvette club" pillows?
175
00:08:22,842 --> 00:08:26,678
- Huh?
- Daddy... behold.
176
00:08:26,746 --> 00:08:28,346
Dios mio!
177
00:08:28,414 --> 00:08:30,315
And look at the raised stitching, huh?
178
00:08:30,383 --> 00:08:34,054
And look at the tassels, made
of the finest Corinthian leather.
179
00:08:34,158 --> 00:08:39,531
- And the material? I think it's velvet.
- Or better yet, velour.
180
00:08:42,635 --> 00:08:47,338
Exactly... how long
would we have surveil her?
181
00:08:47,406 --> 00:08:49,674
Two hours, tops.
182
00:08:49,742 --> 00:08:51,976
And... tomorrow when I
play golf with Lee Trevino.
183
00:08:52,044 --> 00:08:53,444
No way!
184
00:08:53,512 --> 00:08:54,979
No way.
185
00:08:55,047 --> 00:08:59,017
Tio, come on, look.
Touch it, feel it. Huh?
186
00:08:59,084 --> 00:09:03,454
Wow. It's soft.
187
00:09:03,522 --> 00:09:06,858
- Like the fuzz on a sun-ripened peach.
- Huh?
188
00:09:06,926 --> 00:09:08,560
Put it to your cheek.
Put it to your cheek.
189
00:09:08,627 --> 00:09:12,441
- There you go.
- Put it to my cheek too, Georgie.
190
00:09:13,399 --> 00:09:16,200
The girl at the car wash
said they're limited edition.
191
00:09:16,268 --> 00:09:21,272
Hey, they're made from the same
material as a Santa suit. Look-it.
192
00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:23,841
Who don't love Santa?
Watch out!
193
00:09:23,909 --> 00:09:27,712
- Tough decision, huh, Daddy?
- Okay, we'll do it!
194
00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:30,114
- Yeah.
- I want a sponge bath!
195
00:09:30,182 --> 00:09:32,123
- Okay, I gotta go!
- No, no!
196
00:09:36,288 --> 00:09:38,489
Hi, papi.
197
00:09:41,527 --> 00:09:46,197
How about we shut the door
and play a game?
198
00:09:46,265 --> 00:09:47,665
"Musical face."
199
00:09:47,733 --> 00:09:51,736
When the music stop, guess
where I'm sitting. [groans]
200
00:09:51,804 --> 00:09:53,738
How about if we play hide-and-seek?
201
00:09:53,806 --> 00:09:56,107
- Ooh!
- Okay, close your eyes. I'll hide.
202
00:09:56,175 --> 00:09:59,926
And let me give you a hint.
I'ma be somewhere in Dubai.
203
00:09:59,961 --> 00:10:01,079
[laughing]
204
00:10:01,146 --> 00:10:02,547
Come on, what's the hurry?
205
00:10:02,615 --> 00:10:04,983
A hot guy should use that energy
for something else.
206
00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:06,818
What, like running away
while my testicles recede
207
00:10:06,885 --> 00:10:09,854
into my lower abdomen?
[laughs] No, listen.
208
00:10:09,922 --> 00:10:13,157
My Mom fell and I have to
go home and take care of her.
209
00:10:13,225 --> 00:10:16,027
Then why are you hanging
around here flirting with me?
210
00:10:16,095 --> 00:10:18,896
I mean, is she okay?
Is there anything I can do?
211
00:10:18,964 --> 00:10:20,231
Yeah, let me leave.
212
00:10:20,299 --> 00:10:22,900
No, come on, George.
Be serious, okay?
213
00:10:22,968 --> 00:10:26,004
You need help with her, call me.
I'm available.
214
00:10:26,071 --> 00:10:27,639
Yes, I know you're available.
215
00:10:27,706 --> 00:10:30,457
Every time I see you
you tell me "you're available."
216
00:10:30,492 --> 00:10:33,344
Stop! Come on.
I've taken care of plenty
217
00:10:33,412 --> 00:10:34,879
of elderly family members in my life.
218
00:10:34,947 --> 00:10:36,714
How do you think
I got arms like this, huh?
219
00:10:36,782 --> 00:10:37,962
Who needs the gym when you're
220
00:10:37,963 --> 00:10:40,685
lifting a 200-pound
uncle off the toilet?
221
00:10:40,753 --> 00:10:42,387
Well, thanks for the offer.
222
00:10:42,454 --> 00:10:44,489
I don't need anyone
to lift her off the toilet.
223
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:48,161
I'm looking for somebody
that might be able to flush her.
224
00:10:49,328 --> 00:10:50,528
[video game sound effects]
225
00:10:50,596 --> 00:10:54,799
- Hey, pass me the gordy almonds.
- Roger.
226
00:10:57,469 --> 00:11:00,964
Oh, come on.
Tio. Junior.
227
00:11:02,813 --> 00:11:04,308
Come on.
[TV shuts off]
228
00:11:04,376 --> 00:11:05,977
Hey! Why are you guys
playing video games
229
00:11:06,045 --> 00:11:07,512
when you should be
taking care of my mom?
230
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:10,014
[air horn blares]
231
00:11:10,082 --> 00:11:12,350
'Cause she keeps blowing
that damn horn at us!
232
00:11:12,418 --> 00:11:13,718
Well, where did she get
the damn horn?
233
00:11:13,786 --> 00:11:16,721
I gave it to her.
234
00:11:16,789 --> 00:11:19,824
She kept maligning me
and calling me "a idiot."
235
00:11:19,892 --> 00:11:23,695
You should proud of yourself.
You proved her wrong.
236
00:11:23,762 --> 00:11:24,962
[air horn blares]
237
00:11:25,030 --> 00:11:26,798
Oh, we gotta get outta here.
238
00:11:26,865 --> 00:11:29,200
All right, listen, I'll
see you guys in the morning.
239
00:11:29,268 --> 00:11:34,072
Uh, about that, George.
[sighs]
240
00:11:34,139 --> 00:11:36,474
We have to rescind our previous offer.
241
00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:38,142
We're done taking care of her!
242
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:41,045
- What?
- With all her negativity
243
00:11:41,113 --> 00:11:42,880
Daddy's self-esteem
has started to plummet again.
244
00:11:42,948 --> 00:11:45,383
[descending whistle]
245
00:11:45,451 --> 00:11:49,187
- I'm at the bottom barrel.
- Okay, wait a minute. Listen.
246
00:11:49,254 --> 00:11:51,022
I got a chance to play golf
with Lee Trevino, all right?
247
00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:54,992
It is a dream come true,
and I gave you those pillows, boys.
248
00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:57,261
So a deal is a deal.
249
00:11:57,329 --> 00:11:59,263
[air horn blares]
Run, junior, run!
250
00:11:59,331 --> 00:12:01,532
[yells]
251
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,368
Hey, Tio! Junior!
252
00:12:05,604 --> 00:12:07,105
Come on!
253
00:12:07,172 --> 00:12:09,574
What the hell
am I supposed to do now?
254
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:15,042
[air horn blares three times]
[sighs]
255
00:12:17,850 --> 00:12:22,420
[groans]
[sighs]
256
00:12:22,488 --> 00:12:24,322
Hello? Concepcion?
257
00:12:24,389 --> 00:12:27,792
Hey, [chuckles] it's me George.
258
00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:29,572
George!
259
00:12:30,562 --> 00:12:32,526
Yes. "Papi."
260
00:12:35,307 --> 00:12:37,141
[doorbell rings]
261
00:12:40,611 --> 00:12:42,946
Whoa!
I didn't recognize you.
262
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:47,217
Not a single article of clothing
is stretched beyond its limits.
263
00:12:47,284 --> 00:12:48,885
Please, George.
You called me.
264
00:12:48,953 --> 00:12:51,554
I'm here to take care of the patient.
Where is she?
265
00:12:51,622 --> 00:12:54,324
She's upstairs...
growing a new tail.
266
00:12:54,391 --> 00:12:57,444
Okay, well, I stopped by the market
and bought a few snacks that she
267
00:12:57,445 --> 00:13:00,497
might like and some trashy magazines
to get her mind off the pain.
268
00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:03,600
Wow.
George, your place is lovely.
269
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:05,235
Thank you.
270
00:13:05,302 --> 00:13:06,669
Listen, I appreciate your help, okay,
271
00:13:06,737 --> 00:13:08,037
but they're can't be
any strings attached.
272
00:13:08,105 --> 00:13:09,939
No, like, "ay, you're so bad."
273
00:13:10,007 --> 00:13:11,975
Or no "ay, papi."
Okay?
274
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,477
George, relax.
Your mother needs care.
275
00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:17,247
You want to play golf. I'm here.
No strings.
276
00:13:17,314 --> 00:13:18,848
- Great. She's upstairs.
- Okay.
277
00:13:18,916 --> 00:13:20,717
All right?
Her pills are upstairs.
278
00:13:20,784 --> 00:13:22,852
- Any problems call my cell.
- Got it.
279
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,922
Oh, and that smell
in her room, she's not dead.
280
00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:29,135
That's... just her smell.
281
00:13:31,989 --> 00:13:34,657
Keep it straight, keep it straight.
Atta boy.
282
00:13:34,725 --> 00:13:37,627
Yeah, very nice.
By the time we finish today now,
283
00:13:37,695 --> 00:13:40,897
we're working on five different shots
that you can rely on at any time.
284
00:13:40,965 --> 00:13:42,165
- Well, you saw me warm up.
- Yeah.
285
00:13:42,232 --> 00:13:46,135
- How many do I have now?
- Zero.
286
00:13:46,203 --> 00:13:48,938
I'll go get the scorecard.
287
00:13:49,006 --> 00:13:51,741
George! Good, you're here.
288
00:13:51,809 --> 00:13:53,443
Hey, Mackenzie, I'm kind of
a little bit busy with Lee.
289
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:56,512
Listen, because of what you
said I went to see my Dad.
290
00:13:56,580 --> 00:14:00,450
We talked all afternoon, and
he only fell asleep on me once.
291
00:14:00,517 --> 00:14:03,453
It felt really nice.
So, you know... Thanks.
292
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:08,057
- All right, well, no problem.
- Okay. I hope your mom feels better.
293
00:14:08,125 --> 00:14:09,225
What's wrong with your mom?
294
00:14:09,293 --> 00:14:12,462
Oh, she fell. She's at home in bed.
Somebody I work with is watching her.
295
00:14:12,529 --> 00:14:14,864
Your mom's sick and you're playing golf?
296
00:14:14,932 --> 00:14:17,901
What kind of Mexican are you?
297
00:14:18,969 --> 00:14:20,837
The kind of Mexican
that always wanted to play golf
298
00:14:20,904 --> 00:14:24,007
- with Lee Trevino.
- Go home, George. Go home.
299
00:14:24,074 --> 00:14:28,177
You don't need to be playing golf
when you have a sick mother.
300
00:14:28,245 --> 00:14:29,612
But, Lee, I wanna play with you!
301
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,348
Hey, man, there's a chance
she could be dead.
302
00:14:32,416 --> 00:14:35,418
Mexican mothers?
They never die, George.
303
00:14:35,486 --> 00:14:37,253
They never die.
304
00:14:45,454 --> 00:14:47,455
Concepcion?
305
00:14:47,523 --> 00:14:50,124
Shh, shh, shh.
She's sleeping.
306
00:14:50,192 --> 00:14:52,327
She's had all her pills,
I gave her her dinner,
307
00:14:52,394 --> 00:14:54,495
and I left you some
arroz con pollo in the fridge.
308
00:14:54,563 --> 00:14:57,532
Wow.
Hey, I really appreciate this.
309
00:14:57,599 --> 00:15:00,401
Listen, I'm sorry I was
skeptical of your motives.
310
00:15:00,469 --> 00:15:03,471
- It's no problem at all.
- I'll see you at school.
311
00:15:03,539 --> 00:15:06,678
Oh, you'll see me
sooner than that, papi.
312
00:15:12,553 --> 00:15:15,355
[speaking Spanish]
313
00:15:15,423 --> 00:15:19,326
Papi, you're so bad.
We both know why you called.
314
00:15:19,394 --> 00:15:23,029
- Don't run away. No!
- I'm not running.
315
00:15:23,097 --> 00:15:24,998
I'm just trying to catch up
to my testicles.
316
00:15:25,066 --> 00:15:27,067
Oh!
[laughing]
317
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:30,704
Hey, yo, Georgie!
Hey!
318
00:15:30,772 --> 00:15:34,007
Why is it so dark in here?
What's going on?
319
00:15:35,376 --> 00:15:37,411
Oh.
320
00:15:39,447 --> 00:15:43,817
- Oh!
- Thank god!
321
00:15:43,885 --> 00:15:46,153
We just wanted to show you
the jackets Daddy had made.
322
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:48,188
Junior!
Where are you manners?
323
00:15:48,256 --> 00:15:52,726
Senorita, please forgive me
for this untimely protrusion.
324
00:15:52,794 --> 00:15:54,060
[sighs]
Maybe I should go.
325
00:15:54,128 --> 00:15:55,695
- Yes
- No!
326
00:15:55,763 --> 00:15:57,597
Continue your romantic interlude.
327
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,232
Well, no.
There's no interludes here.
328
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,735
Hey, hey. Why don't you guys
show me these jackets?
329
00:16:01,803 --> 00:16:03,770
Hey, we made 'em
from the pillows you gave us.
330
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,772
Watch out!
331
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,374
Both: Huh?
332
00:16:07,442 --> 00:16:10,210
What style!
And what class, huh?
333
00:16:10,278 --> 00:16:11,978
Why let the sofa wear it
when you can?
334
00:16:12,046 --> 00:16:13,447
[laughing]
335
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,482
Man, that's genius.
Hey, let me try one on.
336
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:18,018
No, no, no.
We know when we're not wanted.
337
00:16:18,085 --> 00:16:20,795
No, you don't.
You've never known that.
338
00:16:20,863 --> 00:16:24,165
Georgie. [whistles]
All right, here.
339
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,001
It's riveted for her pleasure.
340
00:16:29,471 --> 00:16:31,839
Okay, so where were we
before we were interrupted?
341
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:32,941
- D'oh!
- Hoo!
342
00:16:33,008 --> 00:16:34,409
Who was on top of who, huh?
343
00:16:34,476 --> 00:16:36,878
I can't remember.
My organs were shutting down.
344
00:16:36,946 --> 00:16:40,048
Ay, papi!
I love the way you say "organs."
345
00:16:40,115 --> 00:16:41,416
[squeals]
[phone ringing]
346
00:16:41,483 --> 00:16:43,117
[scoffs]
347
00:16:43,185 --> 00:16:44,819
What is it? I'm busy.
348
00:16:44,887 --> 00:16:47,689
Can't somebody else help
uncle Chato out of the bath?
349
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:52,026
He can do it right there in the tub.
It's the same drain.
350
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,494
[sighs]
351
00:16:53,562 --> 00:16:55,229
Fine, I'll be home in a minute.
352
00:16:55,297 --> 00:16:56,698
I gotta go, George.
[groans]
353
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:59,867
And so does uncle Chato.
God bless him.
354
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:04,038
Ay, you're so bad.
And disappointed.
355
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,207
Don't cry.
356
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,544
[laughing]
Yo, Georgie!
357
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,646
Check it out.
Show him, mijo.
358
00:17:11,714 --> 00:17:14,816
Beer holsters!
359
00:17:14,884 --> 00:17:16,584
[air horn blares]
360
00:17:16,652 --> 00:17:19,954
I'm coming!
Mackenzie's right.
361
00:17:20,022 --> 00:17:21,756
Maybe I should shove her
in a home right now.
362
00:17:21,824 --> 00:17:24,325
"Bitch Acres."
363
00:17:24,393 --> 00:17:26,027
That's not the way
we take care of family,
364
00:17:26,095 --> 00:17:27,562
- right, Daddy?
- Right, mijo.
365
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:31,232
Daddy and I have had very open
and frank discussions
366
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,703
on these matters.
And we've concluded
367
00:17:34,704 --> 00:17:39,441
should Daddy ever go into an
assisted living facility...
368
00:17:39,508 --> 00:17:42,510
I will reside there with him.
369
00:17:42,578 --> 00:17:44,345
That's because you guys are so close.
370
00:17:44,413 --> 00:17:48,416
Yeah.
We're like father and son.
371
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,485
Yeah, Alma and I don't have that.
372
00:17:50,553 --> 00:17:54,422
The older she gets,
the meaner she gets.
373
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:58,010
- She's scared. Huh?
- Scared of what,
374
00:17:58,022 --> 00:18:00,295
that we're gonna run out
of pepper jack cheese?
375
00:18:00,362 --> 00:18:06,401
Actually, George, her fear
is of a non-culinary nature.
376
00:18:06,469 --> 00:18:08,269
Okay?
She's afraid as she gets older,
377
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:12,524
as she really needs you,
you won't be there for her.
378
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:15,317
- Right, Daddy?
- Think about it, Georgie,
379
00:18:15,318 --> 00:18:19,380
Almas father ran out on her
when she was a little girl.
380
00:18:19,382 --> 00:18:21,954
I can't imagine that kind of pain.
381
00:18:22,051 --> 00:18:24,886
And your father ran out on her too.
382
00:18:24,954 --> 00:18:27,455
And he took the TV Guide collection.
383
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,792
The fall preview, the thick ones.
[groans]
384
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:33,612
I mean, I would never abandon her.
I might dream about it
385
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,431
and sketch different scenarios
on the napkins, but...
386
00:18:36,499 --> 00:18:38,833
Maybe you just need
to reassure Alma
387
00:18:38,901 --> 00:18:40,835
that you will always
be there for her.
388
00:18:40,903 --> 00:18:42,570
And tell her you love her.
389
00:18:42,638 --> 00:18:45,406
[air horn blares]
390
00:18:45,474 --> 00:18:48,026
Or I could just kill her!
And bury her in the backyard
391
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,139
by the nectarine tree
like Felipe the cat.
392
00:18:51,243 --> 00:18:55,756
I'll decide as I walk up the stairs.
393
00:18:55,985 --> 00:18:58,987
[air horn blares]
394
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:03,956
- I dropped the remote.
- I'll trade you for the horn.
395
00:19:04,745 --> 00:19:07,128
Gotcha! Stupid!
396
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,736
Wait a minute,
was that you or the horn?
397
00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:17,018
You're gonna find out
in about two seconds.
398
00:19:17,034 --> 00:19:18,873
Oh! Come on!
399
00:19:19,916 --> 00:19:22,484
All right! Listen.
400
00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:24,946
- I don't wanna fight.
- What are yo doing?
401
00:19:25,014 --> 00:19:26,548
I just need to tell you something.
402
00:19:26,615 --> 00:19:27,916
I know you're worried about what's gonna
403
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,217
happen to you when you
get old but I want you
404
00:19:29,218 --> 00:19:31,170
- to know that you don't have to.
- Go to hell!
405
00:19:31,976 --> 00:19:36,017
- Let me say this. What I'm tryin' to tell you is...
- Stop breathing on me!
406
00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:38,843
Your breath smells worse
than under these sheets.
407
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:50,678
- Mom, I love you.
- Kiss my ass!
408
00:19:50,718 --> 00:19:53,672
I'm not gonna lie here
and listen to this crap. [chuckles]
409
00:19:53,729 --> 00:19:55,354
Ha! I knew it won't work!
410
00:19:55,355 --> 00:19:58,946
- Mom, I love you so much.
- Let me tell you something, fat ass.
411
00:19:59,013 --> 00:20:01,415
You think you know everything.
412
00:20:01,483 --> 00:20:03,884
I don't need you to take care of me
now or ever.
413
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:06,202
- I can take care of my self!
- This is great.
414
00:20:06,203 --> 00:20:07,803
I'm always gonna be there for you, Mom!
415
00:20:07,889 --> 00:20:09,990
- Shut up, George!
- I'm your biggest fan.
416
00:20:10,058 --> 00:20:12,259
- Be quiet!
- I'm right behind you, Mommy.
417
00:20:12,327 --> 00:20:13,994
Stop it!
[laughs]
418
00:20:14,062 --> 00:20:18,424
[thuds]
Ouch! Ooh!
419
00:20:18,459 --> 00:20:19,352
Mom!
[grunting]
420
00:20:19,387 --> 00:20:21,135
Mom, are you all right?
421
00:20:21,202 --> 00:20:23,103
[both groaning]
422
00:20:23,171 --> 00:20:25,839
Oh, my ass!
423
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,840
[both groaning]
424
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,611
I gotta tell you a little story.
425
00:20:30,679 --> 00:20:34,561
In 1968, I won the U.S. Open.
I came home to El Paso
426
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,918
and when outside, I started
trimming the grass on the sidewalk.
427
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:40,988
This white Cadillac comes up,
wasn't three feet from me.
428
00:20:41,056 --> 00:20:43,541
This nice-looking young lady
was in the car and she rolled
429
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:46,026
the window down, and she takes
one look at me and she says,
430
00:20:46,094 --> 00:20:49,296
"young man do you speak English?"
I said, "yes madam, I do."
431
00:20:49,364 --> 00:20:52,633
She says, "what are these people
paying you to do this yard?"
432
00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:55,069
I said, "well, the lady in this house
lets me sleep with her."
433
00:20:55,137 --> 00:20:56,115
[laughing]
434
00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:57,836
And the next thing, you know,
435
00:20:57,837 --> 00:21:00,141
she takes off and I'm
looking at the car like this
436
00:21:00,208 --> 00:21:03,318
and I'm saying, "well, I guess
she didn't wanna pay the price."
437
00:21:03,353 --> 00:21:04,460
[laughter]
438
00:21:04,741 --> 00:21:07,994
I know what's that like.
Same thing in my club.
439
00:21:08,029 --> 00:21:10,370
The members throw me the keys,
they think I'm the valet.
440
00:21:10,405 --> 00:21:12,818
Lee, I keep their cars sometimes.
441
00:21:12,853 --> 00:21:14,296
[laughter]
442
00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:17,988
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443
00:21:18,038 --> 00:21:22,588
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