All language subtitles for Rumpole s03e04 and the Female of the Species.eng

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Yes. Next, please.

(Alarm)

Hold it!

(Police siren)

(Knock on door)

Anthony Timson?

You know damn well who I am.
What you on about, Brush?

That's a handsome piece
of musical equipment.

A boom in window cleaning,
is there, Tony?

We're doing very nicely.

- Courtesy of the Pond Hill bank job?
- Bank job?

That's above my station
in life, Brush.

What's that, Tony?
The wife's bagwash?

Brief in R V Timson.

That'll be for Mr Rumpole.

The brief is clearly marked
for Mrs Phyllida Erskine-Brown.

Oh, yeah. I see.

I can put up with members
of the so-called senior branch,

but I will not be called
a villainous viper

in the Uxbridge Magistrates' Court.

Mr Rumpole said that?

Morning.

Mrs Erskine-Brown, I've entered
the brief for you in R V Timson.

Ah, yes.

And wonderfully prepared,
I don't doubt,

like all Mr Bernard's work.

How's your daughter, Mr Bernard?
Polytechnic going well still?

Three As.

And still keeping up
her figure-skating, I bet.

Chip off the old block,
wouldn't you say so?

See you in Brixton, Mr Bernard.

I always felt Mrs Erskine-Brown
had a real feeling for the law.

Oh!

Oh, let's try the Irish screwdriver.

There you are. Look at that.
Steady as a rock.

Most people would have got a man
in to do a simple job like that.

Did you plug the wall, Rumpole?

A useful shelf for the support
of such vital articles

as "The Oxford Book
of English Verse".

Professor Andrew Ackerman

on "The Importance of Bloodstains
in the Detection of Crime".

Ah, a copy of "Archbold",
the criminal barrister's Bible.

Yes, that one's considerably
out of date.

And a spare bottle of Ch�teau Thames
Embankment, 1983 and a half.

The instructions say,

"Plug the wall
with the material supplied,

"before attempting to erect
your easy-do convenience shelving."

Did you plug the wall?

Never read instructions to counsel
before doing a murder.

Leave it to the advocate's instinct.
Never let me down in court.

You haven't been in court very much.

Oh, a temporary lull in business.
Nothing of fearful import.

That's because you're rude
to solicitors.

You were rude to Mr Bernard.
You told me.

That's why he's not sending you
any briefs now.

Sure that's straight?

Of course it's straight.
I was not rude to Bernard.

I merely quoted Richard II to him
to improve his education.

Perhaps he didn't want it improved.

"Oh, villain. Viper.
Damned without redemption."

I don't suppose
he took that as a compliment.

He advised a client of mine

to plead guilty
at Uxbridge Magistrates' Court,

when I was held up in the tube.

'Would you make peace, Bernard?"
I said.

"Terrible hell make war upon
your spotted soul for this offence."

It's definitely at an angle.

Really, Hilda? That's because
you're definitely at an angle.

One small gin and you start leaning
like the Tower of Pisa.

There you are. Look at you.
Look at you. Pull yourself together.

Really, if that's how
you talk to solicitors,

it's no wonder
I've got you at home all day.

Members of the Jury,

soon this case will be over.

In a while, you will go back to your jobs
and your families, and forget all about it.

At the most, it will be
but a small part of your lives.

But for my client,

it concerns the whole of his life.

But it is that life I leave
in your hands with confidence,

certain that there can only be
one verdict.

Not guilty.

Sink down exhausted.

� la Donald Wolfit, mopping the brow.

Good end to a final speech,
Miss Allways?

Oh, yes.

My client's only accused of nicking
six frozen chicken pieces.

I can assure you, Miss Allways,

it works just as well
on any occasion.

Ballard's just starting
the meeting. Chop-chop.

Aye-aye, sir.

- This is it, isn't it?
- This is what?

Whether they will let me stay here.

Perk up, Fiona.

I've cracked tougher courts
than that lot in there.

- Oh, just one thing.
- Hmm?

Old Claude, that popped his head in.

- What, Mr Erskine-Brown?
- He doesn't tickle your fancy?

You don't find him devastatingly
attractive or something, do you?

Of course not!

- He's hardly Paul Newman, is he?
- I don't suppose he is.

That's all right, then.
I'll see what I can do.

Oh, sorry. Am I late for evensong?

- Good evening, Horace.
- Hello, Uncle Tom.

We have to consider an application
from Fiona Allways

for a permanent seat in Chambers.

Mrs Erskine-Brown,
you were her pupil master.

Mistress.

It is an extremely tough life at the Bar
for any woman.

I'm not sure
that Allways has what it takes.

Just as a for-instance,

she burst into tears when left alone
at Thames Magistrates' Court.

I know exactly how she felt.

Yes. Rumpole's done a case with her.

She took a note for me.
There was something about I liked her.

What?

She cares strongly about winning.

Who is this fellow, Allways?

- The fellow is a girl.
- Good heavens.

Are we getting another one?

I really don't feel the mere fact
that this girl is a girl

should guarantee her a place.

Yes, Phylli's right.
We shouldn't take in a token woman.

Rather like taking in a token Black.

- Are we taking in a Black woman?
- Why not?

I could have brought one back
from Africa.

This is a problem
that has to be taken seriously.

I feel we should go
for a well-established man.

Someone who knows a few
solicitors and can bring work in.

Steady on, Portia, old fellow.

Whatever happened
to the quality of mercy?

I honestly don't see
what mercy's got to do with it.

Dear God, it seems but yesterday
when Phyllida Trant,

white in wig and green in experience,

was accusing Henry hiding
the lavatory key as a sexist gesture.

Can it be, having stormed the citadel,
you want to slam door behind you?

Rumpole,
you're not addressing the jury.

No one can accuse this Chambers
of prejudice against female barristers.

We find them delightful, as long
as they settle somewhere else.

I don't believe this is generally known,

but I have applied for a silk gown.

Your Alice blue?
You'll look pretty in it.

From what I hear,
informally, of course...

- In the bag, is it?
- That's not for me to say.

Phylli is right behind me.

Hmm? Oh, absolutely.

So with two QCs at the top,

it'd be a pity if these Chambers
became weak in the tail.

- What would be a pity?
- If our tail got weak.

Well, of course it would. What?

I'm not interested in the sex side,

but I just don't feel
Allways isn't the right person

to carry on the best traditions
of these Chambers.

So young Fiona Allways must swell
the ranks of the unemployed?

Come on, Rumpole. She has got
a rich daddy. She will not starve.

She'll miss
what she's always wanted to do.

- Uncle Tom.
- I remember a Fiona.

She worked in the list office.
She wasn't Black, of course.

No, I'm against it.

I think I've got the sense of the meeting.

I'll tell Miss Allways
she'll have to look elsewhere.

- Now just a moment.
- Yes, Rumpole.

This is not the last Thursday
in the Hilary term.

Of course it isn't.

We settle questions
on the last Thursday in Hilary term.

Last Thursday of Hilary term?

I can't remember.

Oh, Claude,
it was long before your time.

Of course if the new broom
wishes to make radical changes...

But I think we should stick
to the old rules, don't you?

After all, we don't want anarchy
at 3, Equity Court, do we?

- That's in four weeks' time?
- Exactly.

We'll deal with it then. It shouldn't
take long, as we've reached a decision.

A mere formality.

Rumpole, what are you up to?

Nothing, Portia.

Simply preserving the best traditions
of these Chambers.

- Good morning, Tony.
- Morning.

- Where's Mr Rumpole?
- Care for a fag, Tony?

Don't mind. Thank you.

Is Mr Rumpole coming later?

This is Mrs Erskine-Brown.
She's going to be your brief.

I see they've charged you
with taking part in the robbery.

They've done that
on Molloy's evidence.

Mr Rumpole's always been
the Timsons' brief. You know that.

Mr Rumpole defended my father,
my uncle.

He saw me through
my borstal training.

Mr Rumpole can't have done all that
well for you, if you got borstal training.

Well... win a few, lose a few.
You know that, missus.

Any particular reason why Gerry
Molloy should grass on you, Tony?

It's good of you...

Ever been at a meet with him
where a bank job was mentioned?

Molloy says in the deps
that he was the sledge,

the others had sawn-offs
in their holdalls,

you were the driver.
He says you're good on wheels.

This is highly embarrassing.

- What is, Tony?
- You being a woman.

It don't seem right.

Don't think of me as a woman.
Think of me entirely as a brief.

No good. I keep thinking of my wife.

Well, she's worried about you.
It's only natural.

I don't mean that. I wouldn't want
a woman like April to do my job.

Briefs and us what gets ourselves
into a bit of trouble.

It's all man's work.

The Timsons always were
such old-fashioned villains.

- Half a century behind the times.
- It's not your fault.

Wait until my wife gets to hear about
this. Very hot on women's rights.

(Phyllida)
It is the client's right to choose.

It's decent of you to take it like that.

It's no reflection on you, of course,

but I am going to have to take in
a chap to lead you.

Yes.

Yes, I just wonder
who this chap will be exactly?

Yes, it goes against the grain,
but we don't have any choice, do we?

Great Erskine-Brown.
Worthy Claude.

"Greater than both,
by the all-hail hereafter."

Look here. Ah, Horace.

Alone and palely loitering?
Where's Mrs Erskine-Brown?

- Hello, Jack.
- Hello.

A glass of cooking Claret, please.

I hardly ever see Phylli.
She's so busy.

She must be enormously pressed,

now she's pinched
the Timsons from me.

Thanks. Well, here's to crime.

Do you know,

she doesn't come home
until after Tristan's gone to bed?

Really?

Perhaps it's just as well that Fiona
Allways isn't coming into Chambers.

Oh, you agree?

Well...

No, perhaps
I'd better not say anything.

What, Rumpole?

No. It might have created
all sorts of difficulties.

- It might have got too much for you.
- What?

Cause all sorts of trouble.

In the spring, a young man's fancy
lightly turns to you know what.

No, it's better that we don't have
the fragrant perfume of Miss Allways

floating around Chambers,
don't you think?

Frankly, I don't suppose
I'd have seen much of her.

- You would, you know.
- Not as a silk.

You would have been thrown together.
Chambers' meetings.

Brushing up against her
in the clerk's room.

You'd be out having tea
and a bickie together.

- No, terribly dangerous.
- Don't be so silly.

Claude, you must admit

that Miss Allways
is a very attractive young lady.

- Well, yes.
- Yes.

But...

You know what these
young women barristers are like.

Enormously impressionable.
Passionate, even.

And very taken with the rather
more mature type of legal hack.

Especially one teetering on the edge
of knee breeches and a silk gown.

- You don't mean that?
- Yes.

She finds you
immensely personable, Claude.

You definitely put her in mind of
some film actor. What's his name?

Newbolt. No, that's a poet.
Newman. Could that be him?

- Ridiculous.
- Yes, I know, but all the same.

Far better
she doesn't come into Chambers.

- What you got there, Henry?
- My packed lunch, Mr Rumpole.

- We can't all go to Pommeroys.
- No. In your left hand.

Could that be a brief?
With my name on it!

Mr Bernard sent this round.
Case of Timson.

Leading Mrs Erskine-Brown.

You've made up my quarrel
with Bernard.

"Come to my arms, my beamish boy!"

Really, Mr Rumpole.
Well, I did pacify him a bit, I suppose.

You're not to do it again.

I can't clerk for a gentleman that
calls instructing solicitor "Viper".

Would you prefer "snake
in the grass"? I'm only joking.

So, I am leading brief in Timson.

A bank robbery.
That could last for two weeks.

"He chortled in his joy."

(Laughs)

Oh...

- Ballard.
- Oh, it's you.

I thought I'd better give you
a friendly warning.

Isn't it you that needs warning?

Henry tells me you've taken to being
offensive to Mr Bernard. (Coughs)

It doesn't do Chambers any good
to insult a solicitor.

Fascinating character.

Marvellous hair,
burnished like the autumn leaves,

and a tender, slender throat,

thrusting up
from that stiff white collar.

- Mr Bernard?
- Of course not!

I'm talking of Mrs Erskine-Brown,
our Portia of Chambers.

- Do you smoke?
- You know I don't.

What do you do, I sometimes wonder?

Gorgeous character in many ways,
our Portia.

With a most enviable practice.
Perhaps she's polite to solicitors.

Oh, yes. Determined to get
to the absolute top.

(Laughs)

I have the highest respect
for Phyllis, but...

Yes, but devious.

- Brilliant mind, but devious.
- What are you trying to tell me?

The wonderful way she got you

to expose your sexual... prejudices
at that Chamber meeting.

My what?

Your blind and Victorian opposition
to women in the legal profession.

Yes. She's doing a report on that
to the Bar Council,

and several articles
in "The Observer".

But Rumpole,
she spoke against Allways.

- Of course. What a tactician.
- She seemed opposed to the girl.

That was to draw you out. Understand?
To get you to show your hand.

You fell for it, Ballard,
hook, line, and sinker.

I can see the headlines now.

"Christian barrister
presides over sexist stronghold.

"Ballard, QC, puts the clock back."

No.
I didn't take that attitude, surely?

You will have done by the time
our Phyllida's finished with you.

Take my warning.

Don't cross her, Ballard. She has
the ear of the Lord Chancellor.

I don't know whether you had any ideas
about some sort of minor judgeship.

(Laughs)

- There is one thing in your favour.
- What's that?

She seems to have taken
something of a shine to you.

Yes. "Craggily handsome"
were the words she used.

(Laughs)

What are you thinking about, Rumpole?

I know you, Rumpole.

You're lying there
thinking about something.

I was thinking of man's attitude
to the female of the species.

- Oh, were you indeed?
- Mmm.

On the one hand, the presence
of a woman strikes him with terror.

Really, Rumpole.

And fierce resentment.

- Is that what you're thinking?
- And yet...

...not only does
he find her indispensable,

but irresistible.

Faced with the whiff of perfume,
for example,

he is reduced to a state
bordering on the imbecilic.

Rumpole. Are you really?

"She is a woman,
therefore may be woo'd.

"She is a woman,

"therefore may be won."

Oh! Oh, Rumpole!

(Snores)

Oh, Rumpole!

(Rumpole)
Hail to thee, blithe Bernard.

We're taking you
on the client's wishes.

- Just for this case.
- I'm April Timson.

- Tony's glad you will be his brief.
- Ah, Mrs Timson. Who's this?

Young Vincent.
He's been to see his dad.

Delighted to meet you, Vincent.

Let me know the moment
he gets into trouble.

It's a sodding plant.
Pardon my French.

- Don't be so silly, Tony.
- But what sort of a plant exactly?

A floribunda
of the Serious Crime Squad,

or some exotic bloom
cultivated by the Molloys?

- Brush has no love for the Timsons.
- Neither have the Molloys.

True, Mr Rumpole. Very true.

Why not a plant
by the grasser's family?

- It's possible.
- It's typical.

So, some person unknown
brought in the cash,

and put it in your super-snow-white,
extra-deluxe easy-wash.

The jury may wonder
how Tony can afford these luxuries

out of window cleaning.

It's something you have to have.

You know how Tony affords
these things, Mrs Erskine-Brown?

He's a minor villain. Small stuff.
Let's look at the form.

"Warehouse-breaking.
Shop-breaking. House-breaking.

- "Damage to traffic lights?"
- I misjudged a turning.

"Dangerous driving. Driving
without due care and attention.

"Failure to report an accident."

If I get you out of this mess,
don't give me a lift home.

It can be Ionely at the top, Fiona.

You may wonder what it feels like
to nearly becoming a QC.

- I tell you, Ionely.
- You've got Mrs Erskine-Brown.

Mrs Erskine-Brown...

I see so little of Phyllida nowadays.
Pressure of work, of course.

There comes a time in this job
when a person feels terribly alone.

I say, I suppose so.

I envy you -
those happy, carefree days,

when you hop
between magistrates' courts,

picking up crumbs
of indecent exposure.

Frozen chicken. I was doing a case
about frozen chicken pieces.

Is that Rumpole there?

Can't you see without your glasses?

No hard feelings, Portia, old lad?

About me being brought in
to lead you?

Just a few.
What are you having to drink?

A glass of cooking Claret, if you insist.

- Why not a bottle?
- Why not indeed?

Jack, a bottle
of Mr Rumpole's usual medicine.

Right.

If ever you should have the
slightest problem of a legal nature,

or anything else,

don't hesitate, Fiona.

A silk's door is always open to a
member of Chambers, however junior.

A member of Chambers?

Barristers and criminals -

two of the most
conservative professions.

Excuse me.

Oh, I'm sure.
I mean, I know some old squares

are ridiculously prejudiced
against women,

but, speaking for myself,
I have no objection

to a pretty face
around 3, Equity Court.

- Haven't you, Claude?
- Ah, Phylli.

Are you going to join us
for a drink? You know Fiona.

Who? Oh, yes, I know Allways.

Somebody's birthday?

Ahem.

I saw your light on.

Mrs Erskine-Brown, you won't mind
me calling you Phyllis?

If you want to.
It doesn't happen to be my name.

Ah! Burning the midnight oil?

- It's only half past six.
- Ah, yes.

- I never married, of course.
- Lucky you.

I lead what I'd imagine you'd call
a bit of a bachelor life in Dulwich.

- A decent-sized flat. All sort of thing.
- Oh, good.

I just didn't want you to run away
with the idea I didn't like women,

because I do like women.

Very much indeed.

I am a perfectly normal
sort of chap, in that regard.

Oh, jolly good.

As a matter of fact,
I have to confess this to you,

I find the sight of a woman wigged

and wearing a winged collar
surprisingly...

(Laughs nervously)

Well... let's be honest about this,
alluring.

I saw you the other day, robed up,
going to the law courts.

Really?
I was on my way to do a divorce.

Ah, yes.

I just didn't want you
to be under any illusions.

I am thoroughly in favour of women
from every point of view.

I am sure the news will come as a relief
to the women of the world.

No. I don't want it published
in the papers.

I thought I'd make it
perfectly clear to you

during the course
of private conversation.

Well, you've made it clear, Ballard.

Please... Sam.

All right.
Sam, you've made it terribly clear.

Ah.

Look, some day
when you're not in court,

why don't you let me take you out
for a spot of lunch?

They do a very decent set meal
at the Ludgate Hotel.

- I've got to put this out to post.
- Yes.

(Whistles)

Good heavens, Portia.

Whatever happened?
You left me to finish the bottle.

Has everyone in this Chambers
gone completely out of their heads?

What do you mean?

Sam Ballard just made
the most disgusting suggestion to me.

Soapy Sam? What did he say?

He invited me to have the set lunch

at the Ludgate Hotel.

Good night, Rumpole.

Er... good night, Portia.

The Lord Chancellor?

Good Lord!

Oh, Mr Rumpole, any more news
about my getting into Chambers?

There is a tide in the affairs
of lady barristers,

which taken at the flood,
leads on to God knows where.

What does that mean?

They'll either take you in
or chuck me out.

Good luck to both of us.

Oh, Rumpole!

Mr Rumpole!

Tony says you've never let
the Timsons down.

Mrs Timson,
how is young Vincent today?

- He's with my friend, Chrissie.
- Talk to you later.

I swear by Almighty God

I will faithfully try
the several issues joined

between our sovereign lady the Queen

and the prisoner at the Bar.

(Rumpole)
His Honour, Judge Leonard Dover, QC.

Known to his intimates as Bluebird.

There he sits,

and about as many laughs in him
as a digital computer.

Members of the Jury,
this is a case in which

it seems there is a particular danger
of your being approached by someone.

That often happens
in trials of alleged armed robbery,

by what is known as
a gang of professional criminals.

What's going on?
Time to throw a spanner in. My Lord!

You will be particularly on your guard,

and purely for your assistance,

you'll be kept
under police observation.

Mr Rumpole, don't you want this jury
to be protected from interference?

I do not want this jury told that
this case concerns a serious crime

before one word of evidence
has been heard.

I do not want it suggested
that my client

is a member of a top-drawer
professional criminal organisation,

when he may simply be a snapper-up
of unconsidered trifles.

I do not want the Jury nobbled
but nobbled they have been

in my respectful submission
by your warning.

Extraordinary, coming from you.

It was in answer to an extraordinary
statement by Your Lordship.

What is your application, Mr Rumpole?

That a new jury be empanelled,
My Lord,

that will not have heard any prejudicial
statements about my client.

- Your application is refused.
- Naturally.

Members of the Jury,
I have made it clear

nothing I have said contains
any suggestion against Mr Timson.

There is, therefore,
no prejudice against the accused.

- Who does he think he's fooling?
- I didn't hear you.

I must accept
Your Lordship's ruling.

Yes, Mr Rumpole. I think you must.

Now, then.

That's it.

That goes in there.

Good.

Mr Molloy, I want to come
to the Pond Hill bank raid.

How many of you were engaged
on that?

I was the sledge man.
Five of us altogether.

- Five of you counting the driver?
- Yes, sir.

- Did you see the driver?
- Yes, I did. He picked me up.

- Who was he?
- Tony Timson.

The defendant? No doubt about that?

- Of course not.
- Thank you, Mr Molloy.

Mr Molloy, you have turned
Queen's evidence in this case?

Come again?

Well, translated into everyday
English, you have become a grass.

Not a supergrass.
A common-or-garden grass.

(Laughter)

(Judge) This is not a place
of public entertainment.

You are giving evidence for the
prosecution because you were caught.

Not being an efficient sledge man,
you tripped over your own holdall

and missed the getaway car.

You were apprehended
in the gutter.

They nicked me.

You have already received a sentence
for two years' imprisonment?

I got a two.

A considerable reduction,

because you agreed with the police
to grass on your colleagues.

I got under the odds.

Considerably under the odds.

For that you're prepared
to betray your family.

Come again?

Three of your colleagues
were members of the clan Molloy.

They were Molloys.

- And only one Timson?
- Yes.

The Molloys hate and despise
the Timsons, do they not?

They don't get on, no.
It's traditional, although...

Although what?

I believe my cousin's wife, Chrissie, -
they're separated -

lives quite close
to Tony Timson and his wife.

That's where we had our meet.

Oh, indeed. Thank you.

However, it is true that the Molloys

are in a different league
from the Timsons?

- What league is that, Mr Rumpole?
- The big league, My Lord.

You and your relatives,
did the Barclays Bank job at Penge,

the Midland Bank at Croydon
and the NatWest at Barking.

- That's what I said.
- You spread your favours fairly evenly

around the money market.

However,
have you ever known a Timson

to be present at such a big job
as a bank raid before?

Not as I can remember, but my brother
was off sick. We was short of a driver.

Perhaps you were.
But we don't know that, do we?

Your colleagues
seem to have vanished.

Efforts to trace the other participants
are still being made by the police.

If my learned friend
wants to give evidence,

perhaps Your Lordship would like him
in the witness box.

- That comment was quite uncalled for!
- Steady on, don't tease him.

Yes, I agree, My Lord, it was.

However, with most of your relatives
gone to ground, you needed a victim,

to justify your privileged situation
as a grass?

A victim?

You decided to pick on a despised
Timson and put him in the frame.

- Put him in the what?
- In the driving seat, My Lord.

- Where he certainly never was.
- He was there!

And having decided to frame
Tony Timson,

was it a member of the Molloy family

who planted a packet of stolen money
in his house?

It couldn't have been
this member of the family.

- The witness has been in custody.
- Since the robbery.

However, you did receive visits
in prison

before you made
your statement to the police.

- A few visits, yes.
- From your wife?

One or two.

Was it through her the word went out
to plant the money on Tony Timson?

I wouldn't ask my wife
to do them sort of messages.

(Rumpole) So, Inspector Brush.

Gerry Molloy
made his police statement

two days after the bank raid,

at about 2:30 in the afternoon?

About 2:35, to be precise.

Oh, please.

I'm sure the learned judge
would like you to be very precise.

You went to the Timson's house
straightaway?

We did.

In a police car
with the siren blaring?

I think we had the siren on for some
of the time. We weren't in a hurry.

You were fortunate enough
to find him at home?

He wasn't out window cleaning.

Very entertaining, Inspector.
Highly risible.

- Did he open the door to you?
- Soon as we knocked, yes.

No interval, while he tried to find
a better hiding place for the money?

Perhaps he was happy
with where it was.

Perhaps, Inspector,
he didn't know it was there.

- I don't know about that, sir.
- Do you not?

One last point.

Did Gerry Molloy tell you Tony Timson

was a member of a big-time robbery
firm that might nobble the jury?

He told us that, yes.

So a solemn warning
was given to the jury by the judge

on the word of a
self-confessed criminal and informer?

Yes.

But didn't that warning give
an unfair impression of Tony Timson?

- Unfair, sir?
- Well, come now, Inspector.

You would never
nominate Tony Timson

for the Serious Crime Oscar,
would you?

He is a small-time thief

who specialises
in relieving householders

of their home entertainment, video
machines and such like, is he not?

Yes. Well, it would seem to be so, sir.

It would seem to be so.
Thank you, Inspector.

That money
in the washing machine, Tony.

Somebody put it there.

But who? And when?
Does April go out much?

- She takes Vince to her friend.
- Her friend, Chrissie?

- I think so. I never met the woman.
- No.

The money was found in the kitchen.
Do you do a lot of cooking?

Leave it out, Mr Rumpole.

No. What about washing up?

- That's April's job, ain't it?
- Yes.

It's only barristers that spend evenings
up to their wrists in Fairy liquid.

I don't suppose you run Vince's
smalls through the washing machine?

Would I do a job like that?

It would be rather like
having a woman defend you?

- Nothing personal. It's not natural.
- Really?

I find my husband's quite
a good performer on the spin-dryer.

Poor bloke.

Let's take it that you leave
all the household chores to April.

- Does she do the washing on Monday?
- Suppose so.

The bank raid was on a Monday.

Molloy made his statement
on Wednesday,

and the police were round
to your place straightaway.

Whoever planted it,
didn't have much time.

I don't know. I never go near
the bleeding washing machine!

No. Exactly.

See you tomorrow. Come on, Portia.
I think we've got what we want.

(Horn)

What's the matter?
You look distinctly seedy.

The silk list.
Have you seen the new QCs?

No.
I haven't got passed the crossword.

Ah, yes. There's your name.
What are you worried about?

- My name?
- Erskine-Brown. Mrs. Oh, Mrs.

Yes, I do see.

She never warned me, Rumpole.
I'd no idea she'd applied. Had you?

No. Have you spoken to her about it?

She left home before the paper came.

Now she's gone
to the lady's robing room.

- Do you think it might be a misprint?
- Excuse me. A matter of business.

Allow me.

- You're very kind, Mr Rumpole.
- Only sometimes.

Thank you.

Well, how's young Vincent today?

Chrissie Molloy looking after him?

Chrissie's all right.
Tony doesn't know she's a Molloy.

There seems to be a lot
Tony doesn't know.

We were at school together.
She's left Sean.

Yes, but they're still friendly, hmm?

Close enough for the Molloy family

to plot their villainies
in Chrissie's.

Did she tell you they were short
of a driver?

- What?
- Oh, come along, April.

They would never have used Tony.

He'd have got three parking tickets
before he got clear of the bank.

You, I happened to have noticed,

are very much at home with wheels.

What about where you hid
your cut of the loot?

In one place you knew Tony
would never look.

Wasn't his income big enough?

Well, what are you gonna do about it?
You can't prove nothing.

What are you going to do about it?
That's more to the point.

Now, leave it out, Mrs Timson.
Let it alone, April.

It's man's work.
Let them make a mess of it.

I imagine this was the first time.

It had better be the last.

Why didn't Gerry Molloy identify her?

He was too ashamed.
Don't you understand?

How could the mighty Molloys admit
that they'd used a woman driver?

What on earth are we going to do?

We can't prove it was April.

Let's hope they can't prove
it was Tony.

The Jury don't care for the grass. The
Molloys could've planted that money.

Only one thing.
I'll give them the speech about...

(Both) Reasonable doubt.
- No, I will.

(Usher) Be upstanding.

What?

Don't you read "The Times"?

I've taken silk. I'm your leader now.

(Judge) Yes, Mr Rumpole?

Ah, Mrs Erskine-Brown.

I believe that certain
congratulations are in order.

Yes, My Lord. I believe they are.

Ah!

That's really straight.

Members of the Jury,

in a little while
this case will be over.

You will return to your jobs
and your families,

you will forget all about it.

At the most,
it is only a small part of your lives,

but for my client, Tony Timson,

it is the whole of his life.

It is that I leave with confidence
in your hands,

certain that there can be
only one verdict in this case.

Not guilty.

- Splendid speech.
- Yes, it always was.

Portia of Belmont.
Phyllida Erskine-Brown.

Fiona Allways. The great tradition
of female advocates must go on.

You just want to win that as well, you
want to beat the Chambers meeting.

- Why shouldn't we take Allways in?
- Over my dead body!

Well done, Mrs Erskine-Brown.

Oh, thank you, Mr Bernard.

Why not?

Rumpole, she was making
a play for Claude.

I found them all over each other
in Pommeroys Wine Bar.

I got so angry, I applied for silk.

- Without telling your husband?
- I'm afraid so.

I see
I'd better come clean about all this.

Rumpole, what have you been doing?

I just wanted old Claude to look

with a warm and friendly eye
on young Fiona.

I thought it might increase
her chances.

I suppose you told him
that she fancied him.

- Would I do such a thing?
- Absolutely.

If you wanted to win badly enough.

I imagine you told him she thought
he looked like Robert Redford.

Now, I protest. That is utterly untrue.

It was Paul Newman.

And had Allways actually said that?

- You want the truth?
- Make a change.

- She hadn't.
- Poor old Claude.

You knew what you were doing.

You can't rely on a girl
to get in on her own talents.

You must admit
the cards are well stacked.

You have to manipulate male vanity.

You were simply exploiting
the male sex.

Well, now you know,
will you vote for Fiona?

- Tell me one good reason.
- Ballard's against her.

I suppose that is one good reason.

All because of you, I've ended up a silk.

Rumpole, what on earth
can I tell Claude?

He'd feel a great deal better about it
if there was no merit in this thing.

Tell him the Lord Chancellor simply
thinks there aren't enough women silks.

That's why you got it.

Good idea. Mmm.

Er, Rumpole, is that true?

It's possible, isn't it?

- Tony, you drive.
- Honest?

- Yeah.
- Oh.

You know,
I always feel safe with you, Tony.

Oh!

Haven't you noticed anything,
Rumpole?

What?
Ah... Er... you've got a new hairdo?

Er, have you?

The wall, Rumpole.
Have a look at the wall.

- The shelf I put up.
- That fell down.

Good Lord! It's had pups!

- Did you get a man in, did you?
- Yes. Me.

In this great profession of ours...

Amen.

...we are sometimes accused of
prejudice against the female sex.

Shame.

That cannot be said of us here
in 3, Equity Court.

As in so many other things,
we take the lead and set the example.

We are gathered here today to
celebrate the well-deserved promotion

of Mrs Phyllis Erskine-Brown
to the front bench.

(AIl) Hear, hear!

She's put old Claude's nose out of joint.

Phylli looks remarkably fine
in a silk gown, don't you think?

Gorgeous.

And to welcome a new member
of our set, young...

- Fiona Allways.
- Fiona Allways.

(AIl) Hear, hear!

You were having us on, Horace,
she's no more Black than I am.

Between us, Phylli only got it because
it's the Lord Chancellor's policy

to appoint more women QCs.

Claude, you're the victim
of discrimination.

Never mind. At least one of the family
is bringing in the money.

But Phylli's made me a promise.

Next year she's taking time off.

Maybe I'll get some of my work back.

We will have a companion for Tristan.

Oh, Isolde!

Well done, Allways.
Welcome to the set.

Thank you, Mrs Erskine-Brown.

Look, just one thing.

- Not culottes.
- What?

If you're going to get on at the Bar
and it is tough profession,

just don't go in for these sorts of
baggy-trouser arrangements.

No, remember that always, Allways.

Well, a fellow looks so much better
in a skirt.

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