All language subtitles for Rules of Engagement s04e11 Reunion.eng

What would you give me

if I put this whole waffle
in my mouth?

An uncontested divorce.

Oh, God.

What, are you, uh, getting
in shape for ice-dancing season?

No. No, I mean,
these things are sweet, man.

You get places faster,
save money on cabs,

and, actually,
it's good exercise.

Yeah, it's fantastic.

We can't walk together,
and he always smells.

You should get a pair.

I could say the same
about you.

I'm just saying, man, we could
blade together this weekend.

Mm, actually, we're going
to Nebraska this weekend.

Or else I totally would have.

We're going
to my high-school reunion.

Jeff finally get a good deal
on airfare?

We're leaving at 5:00 A.M.,
connecting through calgary.

Hey, I offered her a nonstop,

but queen Audrey here's too good
for greyhound.

Anyway, I couldn't make it
to my ten-year reunion,

so I'm really looking forward
to this one.

It'll be nice to go back
as an adult,

'cause you know High School.

I never felt like I was
as good as everybody else.

Oh, of course you were.

Well, how do you know?
You weren't there.

You really think you need
to protect that brain?

I finally feel
like I'm in a good place.

You know, living in a great
city, I have a great career,

I have a...
Marriage.

Yeah, so now you get
to go rub that in their faces.

Oh, no, no,
it's not about rubbing anything

in anyone's face.

I mean, I won't have to.
I'm sure they've already heard.

It's just about, you know,
reconnecting with old friends.

And sprinting
through the calgary airport.

Our layover is four minutes.

♪ How many ways to say
I love you? ♪

♪ how many ways to say
that I'm not scared? ♪

♪ with you by my side ♪

♪ there is no denying ♪

♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪

Okay, thank you.

Sir, I've just booked

your massage
for this afternoon.

Did you check
her license?

Yes.

She doesn't have one.

Well, this afternoon
ain't gonna help her get one.

[Chuckles]

Now, if there's
nothing else...

One more thing, Timmy.
Yes, sir. Am I fired?

No, I was just checking
my "skedge,"

and I'm free tonight.

What say you and I go out,
get some steaks,

Martinis, and see
where the night takes us?

While I appreciate

your hopefully unintentional
homoerotic invitation,

I'm otherwise engaged.

Um, with what?

If you must know,
I'm having a dinner party.

Mm.
Sounds lame.

And, honestly, I can't make it.

I'm booked solid

but you just said
that you had no--

nothing.

Never mind.

You're not invited anyway.

Uh, just out of curiosity,

um, why wouldn't I be invited,
hypothetically?

Oh, it's not hypothetical.
You're literally not invited.

I can't believe you skated
over a subway grate.

What were you thinking?

I wasn't thinking.

I was on a blader's high.

Ooh, nothing douchey
about that.

So what say the three of us
go out tonight--

grab some steaks,
some Martinis,

and see where the night
takes us?

Is he hitting on us?

We're going out,
just the two of us.

Why do you want to hang out
with us anyway, huh?

I mean, shouldn't you be out
trolling for skanks?

Yes, but I had
a little, uh, problem

while manscaping,

and, uh,
I got to close up shop

till things get back to normal
down there.

Why don't you spend
some time by yourself?

Doing what?

Go for a walk.

Where am I going?

I don't know.

Just go until your
ankle bracelet starts beeping

and turn around.

So I just walk aimlessly
around the city?

Yes.

And then how do I know
when I'm finished?

Oh, my God.

Jen, Jen, you're--
you're wasting your time.

Russell can't be alone.

What are you talking about?
I love being alone.

In fact, I'm gonna go be alone
right now.

[Door closes]

Who wants to come?

Ah.

Why do you keep
doing that?

My ears still haven't popped
from the flight.

Knock it off.
You look crazy.

Sorry.
I know you want to impress

all of your old classmates.

Yes, by not having
a special-needs husband.

Hey, I had a special need
on the flight,

but queen Audrey's too good
to reach under my blanket.

Shh. There was someone
ttinus.

Not on the calgary-omaha leg.

Oh, there's Cheryl.
She was one of my best friends.

We were cheerleaders together.

What'd she cheer for--
more ribs?

Be nice.

These are good people.

Cheryl.
How are you?

Audrey. Hi.
Good to see you.

Oh, great to see you.
It's been so long.

Yeah.
It is something.

Would you excuse me?

I need to go make
some more name tags.

Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.

Well, we'll catch up later.

That was a reunion
of best friends?

Pretty weak.

Oh, yeah.

At your reunion,
your old friend rube

greeted you by implying
that he continues

a sexual relationship
with your mother.

[Laughing]

My mom could do a lot worse
than that crazy bastard.

Look, I'm just saying,
Cheryl was probably

a little intimidated by me,

'cause I made it out of here
and moved to the big city.

Now, I bet we'll see
a lot of that tonight,

so let's try to be
a little sensitive to it.

You got it.
If...

Gonna ask for something
on the flight home?

You got it.

Matt.

Audrey!
Hi.

Wow.

Oh.
You look great.

Oh, thanks.

This is my wife, Laurie.

Hi.
Nice to meet you.

This is my husband, Jeff.

Hi. How are you?

Audrey and I were on
debate team, and she was good.

No matter how logical
your argument was,

she could always argue
the opposite position.

You don't say.

So, uh, what have you
been up to?

I heard you guys live
in New York.

Oh, yeah, but, you know,
no big deal.

Oh, I love New York.

I wish we could get there more.

Oh, hey, there's nothing wrong
with right here.

Yeah, but it just kills me
to know that our apartment's

just sitting there, empty.

Sitting where empty?
Oh, New York.

You have an apartment
in New York?

Well, it's just
a little three-bedroom

on central park South.

Holy crap.

We can't even afford
to walk on central park South.

[Laughs]
He's kidding.

We can walk there.

And could you imagine
having a third bedroom?

Uh, well, we--we do have
that alcove/den area.

And an inflatable mattress.

So it's really like having
a third bedroom.

No, we popped
that mattress, remember?

The time we threw down on it.

The neighbor downstairs--

uh, he got nervous
that a gun went off.

[Laughs]

Anyway, wow,
it's great seeing you.

[Chuckles]

Well, they seem nice.

What are you doing?

We--we can't walk
on central park South?

I was just making
conversation.

Yeah, a conversation
that implies we're squatting

on skid row
with a popped air mattress.

Wait a minute.

First, you don't want to rub it

in anybody's face,
and now you do?

I don't want to brag
about it,

but come on, it's all right
to let people know

how well things turned out
for me,

but just not
by saying it directly, okay?

So just do that.
Okay.

Audrey Curtis.

Heather.

Oh, good to see you.

It's actually
Audrey Bingham now.

This is my husband, Jeff.

What's up?

I love your suit.

Oh, thanks, I got it
at a fancy store,

but on sale, so it's like
getting it from a regular store,

so...

We're normal.

Talk to Audrey now.

Hey.

What a delightful
surprise, sir.

Hello, Timmy.
I hope I'm not intruding.

Oh, not at all. And to what do
we owe the pleasure?

Oh, I was just out
walking around,

you know, by myself
as people do.

And, uh, well,
it's a good thing I showed up.

Got room for one more
at the least supper?

Actually, sir...

This is Sara.

Ah, Russell.
Nice to meet you.

Actually, sir,
you've met.

Yeah, I sell sandwiches
in the office.

Mm. I'll take your word
for it.

Wait!

What are you two doing here?

Why didn't you tell me
this was where you were going?

Well, because we knew
you couldn't be alone,

and Timmy was afraid
you'd actually show up.

Oh, like I have nothing better
to do than come over...

Oh.

Well, this is terrific.

It's nice to be here
amongst friends.

What stinks?

Actually, sir,

the vindaloo,

which I've been preparing
for the last six hours,

is what stinks.

Ooh. Well, set your dial
to gratitude,

because I'm about to show you

why it's a good thing
I showed up.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna save this party

by airing this mother out.

Don't open the--

[loud crash]

[Car alarm blaring]

Don't open the what?

Who knew that Nebraska shrimp
were so fantastic?

Boy, some of my classmates
are doing really well--

no divorces,
no alcoholics,

no plastic surgeries
gone awry.

I'm so happy for everyone.

Oh, my God,
there's my old boyfriend Bob.

[Chuckles]
Chubby--I win.

He was so in love with me,

and I dumped him
right before prom.

I still feel guilty.

All right, this is one guy

I definitely
do not want to brag to.

I mean, why throw salt
in the wound?

All right.

Has he seen me yet?

Jeff.

Jeff. Jeff--

Bob, hi.
Wo

Audrey.

How are you?

I'm doing well.
You look great.

Oh, thanks.

So, uh,
what have you been up to?

Oh, I own a computer
consulting firm with my wife.

She's around here somewhere.

What about you?

Oh, I, uh, live in New York.
I'm married.

My husband, Jeff,
is right over--

Bob, this is Jeff,
my, you know.

Hi, Bob.

Audrey, Jeff,
this is my wife, Ellen.

Hi.
Whoa.

I was just telling Ellen

about how Audrey
was the one that got away.

Oh, Bob,
looks like you did just fine.

Dude, d high-five you,
but my hands are all shrimpy.

So d-do you two
have children?

Three boys.
No way, did you adopt?

No, we had them
the old-fashioned way.

Ooh, nice snapback, huh?

God, get your smel man foot
off the table.

I'm supposed
to keep it elevated.

Yuckat least get
your gross, dirty sock

out of here.
Vindaloo time.

Oh, my God.

I know. I couldn't do that
again if I tried.

Well, the vindaloo's ruined.

Why don't I fetch the rice
and see if you can score

a three-pointer
with your underpants?

Oh, look, it only touched
the p part, Timmy.

We can eat around it.
Yeah.

Let's eat
around the filthy sock.

Me first.

Let's not overreact.

All right, I mean,
take a whiff.

Does it really smell
any worse?

And seriously, I think
the real victim here

is the sock.

[Laughs]
You're funny.

I'm funny.
Oh, yeah?

Hey, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

She's already
into sandwiches.

I am never thinking
what you're thinking

no one is!

Everybody
just calm down, okay?

We can salvage this.

Ah, yes, the phrase
evy host longs to hear.

Sorry.
How--how can I help?

Well, the aroma
of the garbage

cenly isn't adding
to the experience.

I don't know if it's
detracting fm it either.

Perhaps you wouldn't mind
taking it

to the trash chute
down the hall.

You got it, buddy.

Not a problem.

Welcome back, sir.
What'd I miss?

See ya.
See ya.

You're the man, Bob.

You act like you've never seen
a beautiful woman before.

Hey.
I see one every day.

She works at that flower shop
on our block.

Hey.
[sighs]

What's the matter?
Are you all right?

Yes, I'm fine.

I'm super.

Having a great time.

All right,
'cause if you weren't,

I would remind you
I think that you're perfect.

You got noing to prove.

Well, that's sweet,
but I don't know

why you're saying that.

I know I have nothing to--
oh, there's Cheryl.

I heard she's still
a check-out girl.

I'm gonna go ask her
like I don't know

and then make her say it.

Cheryl.
Hey.

We didn't get a chance
to catch up before.

How are you?
And where do you work?

I'm fine, and I'm still
a checker at the grocery depot.

Wow.
There you go.

Yeah.

So I-I saw your mom recently,

and she said that you work
at indoor living magazine.

Oh, yes,
it is a great job.

You know what?

By the way, I'm sorry
if I was short before.

I just was a little surprised
that you wanted to talk to me.

Oh, please,

I am not so successful

that I have forgotten
who my friends are.

Oh, no, I mean
because I slept with Bob

when you two were going out.

E-excuse me?

Well, I mean,
that's why you broke up, right?

No, I broke up with him 'cause
I thought I could do better.

So how's that working out
for you?

Well, I appreciate
you all coming.

Oh.
Thanks for inviting us.

Yeah.

Good try, Timmy.

Sara, um...

So sorry things didn't work out
as I'd hoped, you know?

Perhaps a rain check?

Yeah, maybe.

We'll see.

[Chuckles]

You don't need
the goofy glasses

to read between those lines,
do you?

Stee-rike.

Are you mad?

Oh, you'read.

Look, to me, the die was cast
when you invitedveryone over

to your shoebox
to eat "vindapoo."

But to the extent

that I'm responsible
for some of the things--

he's still talking,
unbelievable.

Uh, Tim,

it's a little rude
to clean up

while you still
have guests here.

You're not one
of my guests.

Why, sir?

Why on earth
would you come here tonight

when I spent so much time,
so much energy,

souch effort
making it peectly clear

you weren't invid?

Maybe I have trouble
being alone.

And why is that
my problem?

[Sighs]
'S not.

I just knethatf I, uh...

You know, came or here,
you'd let me in.

So I'm really sorry.

Well, I know that wasn't easy
for you to say, sir.

[Sighs] And know that your
intentions weren't malicious,

so apology accepted.

Yeah?

That's nice.

Well, let me make it up to you.

How about we get out of here
and go somewhere

with air-conditioning,
and I'll buy you a drink?

All right.
I'd appreciate that.

Okay, then.

Let's have a little fun,
forget about this crazy...

Oh, come on!

Aah!

What are you in the mood for?

Your call, sir.

I just found out that
while Bob and I were dating,

he was sleeping
with Cheryl.

No!

Come on, bobber,

you're better than that.

This is unbelievable.
I know, right?

I mean, from you to Cheryl
to his wife.

I mean...

The guy's got range.

Why don't
these people get it?

Calm down, Audrey.
I'm not gonna calm down.

I got out of this
jerkwater burg, and they didn't.

I wanted them all
to be miserable and broken,

but, no,hey had to be happy
and satisfied with their lives.

Oh, for God's sake,

my old boyfriend has a wife
that I would do.

Look, who cares what any
of these people think?

I love you.

And isn't that all
that really m--

oh, save it.

I just wanted to come back
a winner.

It's like everybody's a winner
except me.

Sure makes the husband
feel good.

I'm sorry.

I know you're trying, and
I appreciate it, but let's go.

Everyone get out
your raffle tickets.

It's time to give away
the big prize.

And the winning number is...

2-7-4.

274--it's you.

You won.
What?

Yeah. Go on up there.
I did? I won?

The winner
is Audrey Bingham.

[Applause]
I'm the winner.

[Laughing]

What did I win?

Well, I think
we're all gonna be

pretty jealous of you.

Really?
That's fantastic.

Thanks to the generosity
of Matt and Laurie morrison,

you're gonna spend
a glamorous weekend

in their beautiful three-bedroom
apartment in New York City.

[Applause]
Oh, my God!

Central park South!
Whoo!

Yeah!

Come on!
Oh!

Jeff, I'm not comfortable
with this.

Comfortable?
This is central park South.

It doesn't get
more comfortable than this.

No, I mean,
it's--it's their apartment,

and Matt and laurie--
rule. They totally rule.

They got a bidet,
steam shower,

a fantastic view
of the poor people.

I don't think I could enjoy
myself here all weekend.

All right?
Come on, we're out of here.

Okay, I'll see you Sunday
at 7:00.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0