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1
00:00:01,912 --> 00:00:03,679
[Upbeat music]
2
00:00:04,209 --> 00:00:05,043
Timmy, it's fantastic.
3
00:00:05,089 --> 00:00:06,856
Oh, yeah, Timmy,
this is, like, the coolest
4
00:00:06,857 --> 00:00:08,091
wedding website
I've ever seen,
5
00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:09,725
and I've seen four.
6
00:00:09,726 --> 00:00:10,893
Oh.
7
00:00:10,894 --> 00:00:12,294
Ah, well, there she is,
8
00:00:12,295 --> 00:00:14,229
the nard-crusher 2000.
9
00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:15,802
Adam,
you didn't tell me
10
00:00:15,803 --> 00:00:17,992
it was
bring-a-hobbit-to-work day.
11
00:00:17,993 --> 00:00:19,297
Hm, hm, hm.
12
00:00:19,298 --> 00:00:21,416
Enough with the pleasantries.
What are you doing here?
13
00:00:21,417 --> 00:00:23,577
Timmy built us
a wedding website,
14
00:00:23,578 --> 00:00:26,089
so we could keep our friends
updated on our plans.
15
00:00:26,090 --> 00:00:29,905
Yes. It's called
Adam and Jen's big day.Com.
16
00:00:29,906 --> 00:00:32,674
Two losers and a cake dot
lame wasn't available?
17
00:00:33,906 --> 00:00:36,069
All right, let's see
what we have here.
18
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,784
"This is our story.
19
00:00:37,785 --> 00:00:39,411
"This is the proposal.
20
00:00:39,412 --> 00:00:41,303
This is the happiest day
of my life."
21
00:00:41,304 --> 00:00:42,850
Oh, I don't remember
that one.
22
00:00:42,851 --> 00:00:45,254
No, this is the happiest day
of my life. [laughs]
23
00:00:45,255 --> 00:00:47,209
Timmy, I have hours
of mocking in front of me.
24
00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:48,420
Hold all my calls.
25
00:00:48,421 --> 00:00:51,151
No one calls you, sir.
26
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,062
Let me check this out.
27
00:00:53,063 --> 00:00:55,990
"Jennifer, so soft and warm,
28
00:00:55,991 --> 00:00:57,775
"on my arm,
29
00:00:57,776 --> 00:00:59,726
"my lucky charm...
30
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:00,768
[Laughing]
31
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,285
My chicken parm!"
32
00:01:02,286 --> 00:01:04,093
Oh, my God, it's a poem!
33
00:01:04,094 --> 00:01:06,383
This dude wrote a poem!
Ah, ha, ha!
34
00:01:06,384 --> 00:01:08,532
He's like
a gay Walt Whitman.
35
00:01:08,533 --> 00:01:09,706
[Laughs]
36
00:01:09,707 --> 00:01:11,921
Walt Whitman was gay.
37
00:01:11,922 --> 00:01:15,715
Not this gay.
38
00:01:15,716 --> 00:01:21,719
♪ How many ways to say
I love you ♪
39
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,343
♪ how many ways to say
that I'm not scared ♪
40
00:01:26,145 --> 00:01:28,696
♪ with you by my side ♪
41
00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:31,209
♪ there is no denying ♪
42
00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:33,130
♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪
43
00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:38,040
44
00:01:38,050 --> 00:01:41,050
45
00:01:41,242 --> 00:01:43,581
[upbeat music]
46
00:01:43,735 --> 00:01:44,938
Hey.
47
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,608
[Downcast]
Hey.
48
00:01:46,609 --> 00:01:47,544
What's wrong?
49
00:01:47,545 --> 00:01:51,188
Oh, did they not
have that soup I like?
50
00:01:51,189 --> 00:01:52,658
No, I'm bummed
'cause we just met
51
00:01:52,659 --> 00:01:53,727
with another surrogate,
52
00:01:53,728 --> 00:01:55,699
and we're just having
no luck.
53
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:57,470
I didn't know you guys
were getting a surrogate.
54
00:01:57,471 --> 00:01:58,808
Yes, you did.
55
00:01:58,809 --> 00:02:00,211
I told you after
the last in vitro didn't take,
56
00:02:00,212 --> 00:02:01,614
we were gonna
look into surrogacy.
57
00:02:01,615 --> 00:02:04,255
Are you sure
it was me?
58
00:02:04,256 --> 00:02:06,290
Yes.
59
00:02:06,291 --> 00:02:07,857
It was right
in this booth.
60
00:02:07,858 --> 00:02:09,391
You'd just come
from having a haircut,
61
00:02:09,392 --> 00:02:10,492
and I was--
62
00:02:10,493 --> 00:02:12,193
oh! Yes, I remember.
63
00:02:12,194 --> 00:02:13,694
You said my hair
looked really cute,
64
00:02:13,695 --> 00:02:14,828
kind of like Megan Fox,
65
00:02:14,829 --> 00:02:16,295
and I said that's
what I was going for,
66
00:02:16,296 --> 00:02:18,564
and then you were telling me
about how you were thinking--
67
00:02:18,565 --> 00:02:21,066
you cannot recall one thing
about the surrogacy,
68
00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:24,768
but you got the whole haircut
transcript?
69
00:02:25,637 --> 00:02:28,938
Megan Fox.
70
00:02:28,939 --> 00:02:31,941
It's not un-hot.
71
00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:33,809
We've been meeting
with these different women,
72
00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:35,644
and you just--
you know instantly
73
00:02:35,645 --> 00:02:37,112
you don't want them
carrying your baby.
74
00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:40,248
Yeah, the last one
was too short.
75
00:02:40,249 --> 00:02:42,917
Not my type.
76
00:02:42,918 --> 00:02:44,218
Jeff, you do know
77
00:02:44,219 --> 00:02:45,786
you don't get to have sex
with the surrogate.
78
00:02:45,787 --> 00:02:47,187
Uh, you're not hearing me.
79
00:02:47,188 --> 00:02:50,290
I don't want to.
80
00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:52,625
[Mouths words]
81
00:02:52,626 --> 00:02:54,093
It doesn't matter anyway.
82
00:02:54,094 --> 00:02:56,294
I'm starting to give up hope
we'll ever find anybody.
83
00:02:56,295 --> 00:02:57,862
Oh, my cousin
used a surrogate
84
00:02:57,863 --> 00:03:00,031
and just loved her.
Went on and on about her.
85
00:03:00,032 --> 00:03:03,200
I could get her number.
86
00:03:05,736 --> 00:03:08,438
This just occurred
to you now?
87
00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,172
I'm sorry, Audrey.
88
00:03:10,173 --> 00:03:12,508
Sometimes
I'm not a good listener.
89
00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:14,376
I told you I'm not
the only one spacing out
90
00:03:14,377 --> 00:03:16,011
during your stories.
91
00:03:16,012 --> 00:03:19,247
You gotta
pick up the pace.
92
00:03:23,486 --> 00:03:24,818
You know,
some of these websites
93
00:03:24,819 --> 00:03:25,852
have little mottos.
94
00:03:25,853 --> 00:03:27,286
Maybe ours should have one.
95
00:03:27,287 --> 00:03:28,254
Uh...
96
00:03:28,255 --> 00:03:29,522
Well, what kind of motto?
97
00:03:29,523 --> 00:03:31,023
Well, this one says,
98
00:03:31,024 --> 00:03:33,692
"a day of love,
an eternity of loving."
99
00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:35,160
Wow, that's great.
100
00:03:35,161 --> 00:03:38,096
You know, honey, I don't even
want to try to top that.
101
00:03:38,097 --> 00:03:40,464
You don't seem
as into the website
102
00:03:40,465 --> 00:03:41,831
as you were before.
103
00:03:41,832 --> 00:03:44,033
I just feel like
it's kind of played, yo.
104
00:03:44,034 --> 00:03:45,935
You know, I mean...
105
00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:47,202
I mean, everyone's
just like...
106
00:03:47,203 --> 00:03:49,137
Just a little
burnt out over it.
107
00:03:49,138 --> 00:03:52,206
It's been up
for six hours.
108
00:03:53,341 --> 00:03:54,475
This is about Russell,
isn't it?
109
00:03:54,476 --> 00:03:56,376
Of course, it is.
Honey, he never stops.
110
00:03:56,377 --> 00:03:59,612
I mean, all day, I was
ten seconds away from tears.
111
00:03:59,613 --> 00:04:03,483
Honey, Russell's an immature,
pathetic, little troll.
112
00:04:03,484 --> 00:04:05,518
You love
our wedding website.
113
00:04:05,519 --> 00:04:07,920
Don't let his stupid comments
wreck it for you.
114
00:04:07,921 --> 00:04:09,755
Okay, I'll try.
115
00:04:09,756 --> 00:04:11,022
Now come look.
116
00:04:11,023 --> 00:04:13,324
This morning, I posted
that picture of us at the beach,
117
00:04:13,325 --> 00:04:16,593
sharing ice cream cones.
118
00:04:16,594 --> 00:04:18,161
[Keyboard clicks]
119
00:04:18,162 --> 00:04:22,199
Oh, my God!
Aah! Aah!
120
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,402
That is
not an ice cream cone!
121
00:04:25,403 --> 00:04:30,238
Russell!
122
00:04:30,239 --> 00:04:32,073
Oh, God, you're back.
123
00:04:32,074 --> 00:04:33,274
What took you so long?
124
00:04:33,275 --> 00:04:36,844
I went out
to get the doughnuts.
125
00:04:36,845 --> 00:04:38,879
No! God!
126
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,715
No doughnuts!
127
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,449
Why no doughnuts?
128
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,484
I talked to Jen's cousin
about the surrogate.
129
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:46,719
She sounds perfect for us.
130
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,120
Too good for doughnuts.
131
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:51,189
We can't let her think
we eat doughnuts for breakfast.
132
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,657
Audrey, she's gonna be
with us for nine months.
133
00:04:53,658 --> 00:04:55,125
It's gonna come out.
134
00:04:55,126 --> 00:04:58,128
Look, I'm really excited
about this girl.
135
00:04:58,129 --> 00:04:59,230
She's a college grad,
136
00:04:59,231 --> 00:05:00,566
she comes
from a very good family.
137
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:01,601
[Door buzzer]
138
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:02,568
Oh, uh, that's her.
139
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:03,902
Okay. Please, Jeff,
140
00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:05,270
I want this so badly.
141
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:06,638
Let's give it
our best shot, 'kay?
142
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,072
Hey, I already gave it
my best shot
143
00:05:08,073 --> 00:05:12,276
into that cup
at the clinic.
144
00:05:12,277 --> 00:05:15,078
That's doughnut humor.
Is it?
145
00:05:17,013 --> 00:05:18,447
Ahem.
146
00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:19,614
Hi. I'm Pam Nelson.
147
00:05:19,615 --> 00:05:21,082
Oh, hi. Audrey Bingham.
So nice to meet you.
148
00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:22,183
This is my husband, Jeff.
149
00:05:22,184 --> 00:05:23,250
Pleasure.
Hi, there.
150
00:05:23,251 --> 00:05:25,285
Wow. You have
a beautiful apartment.
151
00:05:25,286 --> 00:05:28,153
Oh, thank you.
And doughnut-free.
152
00:05:28,154 --> 00:05:32,024
Please, have a seat.
153
00:05:32,025 --> 00:05:34,493
So I understand
you guys are interested
154
00:05:34,494 --> 00:05:38,064
in leasing out my uterus.
155
00:05:38,065 --> 00:05:39,432
Just kidding.
156
00:05:39,433 --> 00:05:40,833
It's a little surrogate
joke.
157
00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:43,869
Oh, ha!
[laughing]
158
00:05:43,870 --> 00:05:45,170
That's so funny.
159
00:05:45,171 --> 00:05:46,171
Isn't that funny?
160
00:05:46,172 --> 00:05:48,039
Tell us
another surrogate joke.
161
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,408
I really only have
the one.
162
00:05:51,409 --> 00:05:56,346
It's one more than
that short gal out in Jersey.
163
00:05:56,347 --> 00:05:58,314
So here's my deal.
164
00:05:58,315 --> 00:06:00,082
I've carried
one child so far,
165
00:06:00,083 --> 00:06:01,317
and it was amazing.
166
00:06:01,318 --> 00:06:02,351
I felt like I was giving
167
00:06:02,352 --> 00:06:04,153
such a wonderful gift
to that family
168
00:06:04,154 --> 00:06:05,721
that I just really
want to do it again.
169
00:06:05,722 --> 00:06:08,690
Oh, that's
a beautiful story.
170
00:06:08,691 --> 00:06:09,757
Wow. Yes, it was,
171
00:06:09,758 --> 00:06:12,960
and not to mention,
tight, to the point.
172
00:06:12,961 --> 00:06:16,263
It's the kind of story
someone might remember.
173
00:06:16,264 --> 00:06:17,731
So is there anything else
174
00:06:17,732 --> 00:06:19,165
you guys would
like to know about me?
175
00:06:19,166 --> 00:06:21,967
Well, in regards
to your health history, uh...
176
00:06:21,968 --> 00:06:25,604
Jeff, a little personal,
isn't it?
177
00:06:25,605 --> 00:06:27,072
I love your shirt.
178
00:06:27,073 --> 00:06:28,306
Where did you get it?
179
00:06:29,508 --> 00:06:31,742
Yeah, that's more
of what we need to know.
180
00:06:31,743 --> 00:06:33,110
[Laughing]
181
00:06:33,111 --> 00:06:34,544
I like you guys.
182
00:06:34,545 --> 00:06:36,312
You're kidding.
183
00:06:37,214 --> 00:06:39,081
At the risk of sounding
a little nutty,
184
00:06:39,082 --> 00:06:40,583
I get vibes from people,
185
00:06:40,584 --> 00:06:43,018
and, uh, I feel
very comfortable around you.
186
00:06:43,019 --> 00:06:44,252
Did you hear that?
187
00:06:44,253 --> 00:06:47,622
I'm sitting here
closer to her than you.
188
00:06:47,623 --> 00:06:49,357
Right. Okay,
189
00:06:49,358 --> 00:06:50,624
so what's the next step?
190
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:51,859
Well, to be honest,
191
00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:53,427
um, there is another couple
in the mix.
192
00:06:53,428 --> 00:06:55,095
And I've met with them,
193
00:06:55,096 --> 00:06:56,429
and I really like
them too.
194
00:06:56,430 --> 00:06:58,764
Really?
Let me ask you this.
195
00:06:58,765 --> 00:07:00,599
Did the other couple
provide any kind of snack
196
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,002
or a baked good?
197
00:07:04,003 --> 00:07:05,403
Just some water.
198
00:07:05,404 --> 00:07:07,638
Oh, my God, we have that.
How much do you want?
199
00:07:07,639 --> 00:07:10,541
No, I--I'm fine.
Thank you, though.
200
00:07:10,542 --> 00:07:13,576
Um, so once
we're finished here,
201
00:07:13,577 --> 00:07:14,711
I'm gonna go home,
202
00:07:14,712 --> 00:07:15,878
I'm gonna think
about everyone,
203
00:07:15,879 --> 00:07:17,580
and then I'm gonna
let everybody know
204
00:07:17,581 --> 00:07:19,715
my decision tomorrow,
if that's okay with you.
205
00:07:19,716 --> 00:07:21,950
That would be fine.
206
00:07:21,951 --> 00:07:24,452
No, pick us now.
207
00:07:30,656 --> 00:07:32,757
[Upbeat music]
208
00:07:32,839 --> 00:07:33,439
All right, listen up.
209
00:07:33,465 --> 00:07:34,832
Now that website
was dedicated
210
00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:37,067
to the most important day
of Jen's and my life.
211
00:07:37,068 --> 00:07:38,902
And you are gonna stop
your stupid, tasteless jokes.
212
00:07:38,903 --> 00:07:40,103
You got that?
213
00:07:40,104 --> 00:07:41,070
I'm sorry.
214
00:07:41,071 --> 00:07:42,471
I was just kidding around,
215
00:07:42,472 --> 00:07:46,041
but if I went too far,
I apologize.
216
00:07:46,042 --> 00:07:47,942
I didn't mean to upset you.
217
00:07:51,113 --> 00:07:52,880
Well...
218
00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:54,081
That's okay.
219
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:57,050
Uh, apology accepted.
220
00:07:57,051 --> 00:07:58,585
Actually, I've decided
221
00:07:58,586 --> 00:08:00,753
I'm gonna help you spread
the joy of your website
222
00:08:00,754 --> 00:08:02,988
with as many people
as possible.
223
00:08:02,989 --> 00:08:05,958
Especially after seeing
this new video
224
00:08:05,959 --> 00:08:07,593
that Jen just posted.
225
00:08:07,594 --> 00:08:08,593
What new video?
226
00:08:08,594 --> 00:08:09,994
[Chuckles]
227
00:08:09,995 --> 00:08:12,730
It's literally
my favorite thing ever.
228
00:08:12,731 --> 00:08:14,131
What did--
229
00:08:14,132 --> 00:08:15,766
no.
No, she posted that?
230
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:17,468
I thought I erased it.
231
00:08:17,469 --> 00:08:18,535
Ha, ha!
Well, you didn't,
232
00:08:18,536 --> 00:08:20,170
and you should have.
233
00:08:20,171 --> 00:08:21,538
[Playing guitar]
234
00:08:21,539 --> 00:08:25,708
♪ Something inside me
makes me love you ♪
235
00:08:25,709 --> 00:08:27,042
it's nice.
236
00:08:27,043 --> 00:08:30,679
♪ Baby, give me
all you got ♪
237
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:31,613
a little greedy.
238
00:08:31,614 --> 00:08:33,281
♪ When you put ♪
239
00:08:33,282 --> 00:08:36,716
♪ your love inside me ♪
240
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:41,821
♪ it always hits
my special spot ♪
241
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,456
[keyboard clicks]
242
00:08:43,457 --> 00:08:45,425
No! No!
My--my heart!
243
00:08:45,426 --> 00:08:47,560
My special spot
is my heart!
244
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,228
I'm sure
that's what everyone
245
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,396
I emailed it to thinks.
246
00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:52,630
You know what?
247
00:08:52,631 --> 00:08:54,465
I don't give a crap
about what anybody thinks.
248
00:08:54,466 --> 00:08:56,400
I am proud of everything
on that website,
249
00:08:56,401 --> 00:09:00,503
and you are not gonna
ruin it for me.
250
00:09:00,504 --> 00:09:02,071
Well done in there,
Mr. Rhodes.
251
00:09:02,072 --> 00:09:04,039
The way you stood up
to Mr. Dunbar's bullying
252
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,207
will make Jennifer proud.
253
00:09:05,208 --> 00:09:06,541
Thank you.
254
00:09:06,542 --> 00:09:08,275
Oh, uh, Mr. Rhodes?
255
00:09:08,276 --> 00:09:09,510
I have some mail for you.
256
00:09:09,511 --> 00:09:10,744
Should I put it
on your desk
257
00:09:10,745 --> 00:09:13,379
or in your special spot?
258
00:09:18,018 --> 00:09:19,351
Take it down.
259
00:09:19,352 --> 00:09:21,152
I'm sorry?
260
00:09:21,153 --> 00:09:22,520
The website...
261
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:24,120
Crash it.
262
00:09:24,121 --> 00:09:25,721
Crash it hard.
263
00:09:25,722 --> 00:09:28,657
[Upbeat music]
264
00:09:28,658 --> 00:09:30,525
♪ ♪
265
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,560
well, this really was
a pleasure.
266
00:09:32,561 --> 00:09:33,527
Well, for us too.
267
00:09:33,528 --> 00:09:36,662
And thank you
for all the water.
268
00:09:37,631 --> 00:09:39,498
I'll think of you
every time I pee.
269
00:09:39,499 --> 00:09:41,266
[Laughing]
270
00:09:41,267 --> 00:09:42,834
Hilarious.
271
00:09:42,835 --> 00:09:45,338
Okay. Bye, funny Pam.
272
00:09:45,339 --> 00:09:49,912
Oh, my God,
she's the greatest.
273
00:09:49,913 --> 00:09:51,046
Don't you think--
274
00:09:51,047 --> 00:09:53,181
how did you get those
so fast?
275
00:09:54,450 --> 00:09:55,616
You're already
through one?
276
00:09:55,617 --> 00:09:58,987
Yeah.
277
00:09:58,988 --> 00:10:01,489
One.
278
00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:02,657
Anyway, how was I?
279
00:10:02,658 --> 00:10:06,159
Some of your comments
were a bit...
280
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,094
Needy.
281
00:10:08,095 --> 00:10:09,295
Like what?
282
00:10:09,296 --> 00:10:13,432
Well, when you likened
her uterus to a cathedral.
283
00:10:13,433 --> 00:10:15,467
I was nervous.
284
00:10:15,468 --> 00:10:17,803
Is that why you did
those 17 lady push-ups?
285
00:10:17,804 --> 00:10:19,337
No.
286
00:10:19,338 --> 00:10:22,073
I wanted to show her
how strong my eggs were.
287
00:10:22,074 --> 00:10:24,108
I'm not sure
that was the takeaway.
288
00:10:24,109 --> 00:10:26,777
Oh, God,
it was a disaster!
289
00:10:26,778 --> 00:10:28,878
She's gonna pick
the other people!
290
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,846
There's got to be
something else we can do.
291
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,648
Well...
292
00:10:32,649 --> 00:10:36,217
The doughnut ship
has sailed.
293
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,686
Hey, what if we offer her
more money?
294
00:10:38,687 --> 00:10:39,887
You know,
grease her a little.
295
00:10:39,888 --> 00:10:41,355
We're trying
to get a baby,
296
00:10:41,356 --> 00:10:45,357
not a table
near a window.
297
00:10:45,358 --> 00:10:47,926
I just...I just want her
to pick us!
298
00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:49,528
Being so close
makes me realize
299
00:10:49,529 --> 00:10:50,795
how much I want a baby.
300
00:10:50,796 --> 00:10:52,830
Yeah, so do I.
301
00:10:52,831 --> 00:10:53,998
But it's out of our hands.
302
00:10:53,999 --> 00:10:55,333
If it's meant to be,
it'll be.
303
00:10:55,334 --> 00:10:56,667
Right?
Yeah, yeah.
304
00:10:56,668 --> 00:10:57,835
You're right, you're right.
305
00:10:57,836 --> 00:10:58,936
Maybe it is meant to be.
306
00:10:58,937 --> 00:11:00,837
[Whispering]
Hi, Pam, listen,
307
00:11:00,838 --> 00:11:02,172
I'm sorry to call
so late,
308
00:11:02,173 --> 00:11:03,673
but if there's anything
we can do
309
00:11:03,674 --> 00:11:05,307
to make your decision
a little easier,
310
00:11:05,308 --> 00:11:06,408
like, I don't know,
311
00:11:06,409 --> 00:11:08,276
maybe an extra $5,000.
[door thuds]
312
00:11:08,277 --> 00:11:09,778
Oh, God.
[phone splashes]
313
00:11:09,779 --> 00:11:11,813
[Sighs]
314
00:11:11,814 --> 00:11:12,914
What ya doin'?
315
00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:14,082
Look, I thought
that we agreed
316
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,082
to leave this thing alone.
317
00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:16,917
Oh, come on.
318
00:11:16,918 --> 00:11:18,485
How can you be
so naive?
319
00:11:18,486 --> 00:11:19,585
Pam's never gonna pick us.
320
00:11:19,586 --> 00:11:20,920
Why do you say that?
321
00:11:20,921 --> 00:11:22,421
You don't even know
the other people.
322
00:11:22,422 --> 00:11:24,822
I don't have to!
Look at us!
323
00:11:24,823 --> 00:11:26,890
We're not good!
324
00:11:26,891 --> 00:11:29,359
What can we offer a child
besides food and shelter?
325
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:30,794
And with you
at the table,
326
00:11:30,795 --> 00:11:32,795
it might just be shelter.
327
00:11:32,796 --> 00:11:34,764
You gotta calm down.
328
00:11:34,765 --> 00:11:36,665
Jeff, we're gonna lose!
329
00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:38,467
Game over.
Thanks for playing, binghams.
330
00:11:38,468 --> 00:11:40,469
I see, and you thought
another five grand
331
00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:41,736
would even
the playing field.
332
00:11:41,737 --> 00:11:44,372
I don't know.
333
00:11:44,373 --> 00:11:45,539
But it's better than,
334
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:46,907
[imitating jeff]
If it's meant to be,
335
00:11:46,908 --> 00:11:48,342
it will be.
336
00:11:48,343 --> 00:11:50,743
There's no need to
337
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:54,413
drag my velvety baritone
through the mud.
338
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:56,415
And for the record,
339
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,584
even though
I do eat a lot,
340
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:01,519
I would always leave
a little something
341
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:05,356
for the baby.
342
00:12:08,793 --> 00:12:10,627
Hey, sweetie,
what are you doing here?
343
00:12:10,628 --> 00:12:13,996
Oh, our website is down.
What?!
344
00:12:14,998 --> 00:12:17,499
Yes, it seems to have crash--
no!
345
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,402
It can't--
it can't be!
346
00:12:19,403 --> 00:12:20,903
How could you let this
happen, Timmy?
347
00:12:20,904 --> 00:12:23,439
I mean, be more incompetent
next time!
348
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,074
I'm sorry, Mr. Rhodes.
349
00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:28,678
Oh, well.
Grab some lunch?
350
00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:31,881
You know, you've never
been able to lie to me.
351
00:12:31,882 --> 00:12:33,583
Yes, I have.
352
00:12:33,584 --> 00:12:35,619
That's not true.
I haven't.
353
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,721
Did you have something
to do with this?
354
00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:39,055
No.
355
00:12:39,056 --> 00:12:40,190
Really?
356
00:12:40,191 --> 00:12:41,491
Damn, you always ask
357
00:12:41,492 --> 00:12:42,826
such good
follow-up questions.
358
00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:45,695
Honey, I know the website
meant a lot to you,
359
00:12:45,696 --> 00:12:48,164
but you don't have to face
Russell every day.
360
00:12:48,165 --> 00:12:49,465
He's so mean.
361
00:12:49,466 --> 00:12:51,767
Why do you let him
get to you?
362
00:12:51,768 --> 00:12:53,335
Just ignore him.
363
00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:55,370
Hey, guys,
bad day for gayness.
364
00:12:55,371 --> 00:12:57,773
Your website's down.
365
00:12:57,774 --> 00:13:00,008
But luckily not before
I was able to print this picture
366
00:13:00,009 --> 00:13:02,077
with some slight
modifications.
367
00:13:02,078 --> 00:13:04,746
Oh, my God,
you didn't.
368
00:13:04,747 --> 00:13:06,782
I kind of did!
369
00:13:06,783 --> 00:13:08,517
You see that?
370
00:13:08,518 --> 00:13:10,719
He's kneeling down
in front of you,
371
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:11,953
but he's not proposing.
372
00:13:11,954 --> 00:13:13,088
[Laughing]
373
00:13:13,089 --> 00:13:15,090
You're such
a dirtbag jackass.
374
00:13:15,091 --> 00:13:16,624
Hey, wait. Whoa, whoa.
375
00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:18,759
Let's keep it professional.
376
00:13:19,595 --> 00:13:21,596
Sir, at the risk
of spoiling your fun,
377
00:13:21,597 --> 00:13:22,764
may I remind you
378
00:13:22,765 --> 00:13:24,398
you're running late
for your appointment?
379
00:13:24,399 --> 00:13:25,399
Oh, crud. Okay.
380
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,700
Why? What time
are you expected
381
00:13:26,701 --> 00:13:28,301
back on the dutch boy can?
382
00:13:28,302 --> 00:13:31,103
Touche.
You got me on that one.
383
00:13:31,104 --> 00:13:33,239
Timmy, I need you
to hand these out
384
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,440
to everyone
in the building
385
00:13:34,441 --> 00:13:37,009
and randomly on the subway
on your way home.
386
00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:38,878
Nah-ha.
387
00:13:38,879 --> 00:13:41,280
Well,
this is somewhat awkward,
388
00:13:41,281 --> 00:13:44,549
but I do have
my marching orders.
389
00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:47,252
Thanks, Timmy.
390
00:13:57,763 --> 00:13:59,464
Fair enough.
391
00:13:59,465 --> 00:14:00,964
There has got to be
something
392
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,766
we can do to stop him.
But how?
393
00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:04,268
Perhaps
I could be of assistance.
394
00:14:04,269 --> 00:14:07,170
You see, what you need here
is leverage.
395
00:14:07,171 --> 00:14:08,305
But we have none.
396
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,073
Not at the moment,
397
00:14:10,074 --> 00:14:12,975
but you might gain some
if we act quickly.
398
00:14:12,976 --> 00:14:14,309
Okay.
399
00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:16,011
Okay, we'd better help you
pass out these flyers
400
00:14:16,012 --> 00:14:18,747
so we can get going.
401
00:14:18,748 --> 00:14:21,916
[Upbeat music]
402
00:14:30,718 --> 00:14:33,082
[Sprayers hissing]
403
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:35,148
What's that?
404
00:14:35,149 --> 00:14:36,915
Is someone here?
405
00:14:38,548 --> 00:14:40,212
Smile and say
"super cheesy."
406
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,113
No!
[camera clicking]
407
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:43,414
No!
408
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:44,749
No, get out of here!
409
00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:46,250
No!
410
00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:48,552
[Upbeat music]
411
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:51,221
Okay,
so what do you want?
412
00:14:51,222 --> 00:14:53,489
Well, I want you to stop
insulting our website,
413
00:14:53,490 --> 00:14:56,725
never print or alter
any photos from it,
414
00:14:56,726 --> 00:14:59,461
and don't change the lyrics
to our first dance song
415
00:14:59,462 --> 00:15:01,929
to make it sound gay.
416
00:15:01,930 --> 00:15:03,064
[Sighs]
417
00:15:03,065 --> 00:15:04,498
Do what you want,
418
00:15:04,499 --> 00:15:07,067
but every person
in our company directory
419
00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:08,769
will see
all of these photos,
420
00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:10,470
including this one.
Honey?
421
00:15:10,471 --> 00:15:12,472
The caption
was my idea.
422
00:15:13,374 --> 00:15:16,809
"Must be chilly
in the tanning booth."
423
00:15:16,810 --> 00:15:18,377
That's not fair.
424
00:15:18,378 --> 00:15:20,479
It was very cold
in there.
425
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,814
Nowhere
is it that cold.
426
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:25,649
[Chuckles]
427
00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:29,019
So do we have
an agreement?
428
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:33,289
Buh, buh, buh,
buh, buh, buh.
429
00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:35,858
Fine. I'll stay away
from your stupid website,
430
00:15:35,859 --> 00:15:37,492
all right?
You guys happy now?
431
00:15:37,493 --> 00:15:40,328
Yeah. Jen?
432
00:15:40,329 --> 00:15:42,230
You know what,
I thought I would be,
433
00:15:42,231 --> 00:15:43,264
but I'm not.
434
00:15:43,265 --> 00:15:46,433
These pictures are
too good not to share.
435
00:15:46,434 --> 00:15:47,768
Really?
436
00:15:47,769 --> 00:15:49,936
That would mean the end
of our wedding website.
437
00:15:49,937 --> 00:15:51,504
Well, screw the website.
438
00:15:51,505 --> 00:15:54,373
It is kind of gay.
439
00:15:54,374 --> 00:15:56,008
And "send."
440
00:15:56,009 --> 00:16:00,378
There's no way
you just really sent that.
441
00:16:00,379 --> 00:16:03,547
Oh, good lord!
442
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:13,822
I kind of did.
443
00:16:13,823 --> 00:16:16,625
[Upbeat music]
444
00:16:16,626 --> 00:16:20,427
[Blow dryer whirring]
445
00:16:20,428 --> 00:16:22,359
[Blow dryer stops]
446
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,894
You're really
still gonna use that?
447
00:16:24,895 --> 00:16:26,495
It's just water.
448
00:16:26,496 --> 00:16:28,163
Toilet water.
449
00:16:29,131 --> 00:16:32,065
Your phone
was in a toilet.
450
00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:34,233
I mean, if that's not time
to hit the Verizon store,
451
00:16:34,234 --> 00:16:35,700
I don't know what is.
452
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:36,868
[Cell phone rings]
453
00:16:36,869 --> 00:16:39,770
Oh, look, someone's
calling the dry one.
454
00:16:39,771 --> 00:16:41,204
Hello.
455
00:16:41,205 --> 00:16:44,674
Oh, hey. How are you?
456
00:16:44,675 --> 00:16:46,641
Fine. Sure. Come on up.
457
00:16:46,642 --> 00:16:47,809
Who was that?
458
00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:49,377
That's Pam,
and she's in the lobby,
459
00:16:49,378 --> 00:16:50,945
and, uh,
she's on her way up.
460
00:16:50,946 --> 00:16:52,980
Oh, my God!
What do you think she wants?
461
00:16:52,981 --> 00:16:54,748
Wait, how's my hair?
It's fine.
462
00:16:54,749 --> 00:16:56,582
Well, yours isn't.
You have bed-head.
463
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,417
Oh, my God, what if she
finds out I sleep in a bed?
464
00:16:58,418 --> 00:16:59,884
Oh, God!
465
00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:00,852
[Knock at door]
466
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,052
Shh shh!
467
00:17:03,721 --> 00:17:04,821
Hi.
468
00:17:04,822 --> 00:17:06,489
Hi, Pam!
Nice to see you.
469
00:17:06,490 --> 00:17:08,090
You too.
May I come in?
470
00:17:08,091 --> 00:17:09,257
Sure, of course. Yeah.
471
00:17:09,258 --> 00:17:11,292
Okay,
so here's the thing.
472
00:17:11,293 --> 00:17:13,527
Last night, I got a voicemail
from a woman.
473
00:17:13,528 --> 00:17:14,761
She didn't say
who she was,
474
00:17:14,762 --> 00:17:16,262
and I couldn't recognize
her voice,
475
00:17:16,263 --> 00:17:18,198
but she was offering me
an additional $5,000
476
00:17:18,199 --> 00:17:20,399
to carry her baby,
and I was very disappointed.
477
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,867
Oh.
478
00:17:21,868 --> 00:17:24,203
Do you have any friends
who are practical jokers?
479
00:17:24,204 --> 00:17:26,271
I don't.
480
00:17:26,272 --> 00:17:28,306
That's too bad.
481
00:17:28,307 --> 00:17:29,708
You're missing out.
482
00:17:29,709 --> 00:17:33,111
So I went to
the other woman, Sandra,
483
00:17:33,112 --> 00:17:35,879
and she swore that
she didn't make that call.
484
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:39,415
So do you have something
you'd like to say to me?
485
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,586
Yes.
486
00:17:44,587 --> 00:17:48,555
Uh, I'd like to say that...
487
00:17:48,556 --> 00:17:52,157
I'm disgusted Sandra
would stoop to that level.
488
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:55,526
Well, one of you
made the call.
489
00:17:55,527 --> 00:17:57,295
Since nobody
wants to admit it,
490
00:17:57,296 --> 00:17:58,229
I don't feel comfortable
491
00:17:58,230 --> 00:17:59,764
offering either of you
my services.
492
00:17:59,765 --> 00:18:01,665
Really?
493
00:18:01,666 --> 00:18:04,267
For me, surrogacy
is not about the money.
494
00:18:04,268 --> 00:18:06,169
It's about the feeling I get
495
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,870
doing a selfless act
for deserving people
496
00:18:07,871 --> 00:18:10,071
who otherwise wouldn't
be able to have a child.
497
00:18:10,072 --> 00:18:12,508
But in this case
the word deserving
498
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,609
doesn't seem to apply.
499
00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:16,877
So I'm gonna go.
500
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,478
Uh, Pam, wait.
501
00:18:18,479 --> 00:18:19,479
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
502
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,880
I'm the one
who made the call.
503
00:18:20,881 --> 00:18:22,316
Jeff tried to talk me
out of it,
504
00:18:22,317 --> 00:18:23,451
and I wouldn't listen
to him.
505
00:18:23,452 --> 00:18:25,186
You don't hear that
too often.
506
00:18:27,158 --> 00:18:29,226
I just...
I couldn't stand waiting
507
00:18:29,227 --> 00:18:30,897
and not being able
to do anything.
508
00:18:30,898 --> 00:18:34,472
But I can't let another couple
pay for my mistake.
509
00:18:34,473 --> 00:18:36,341
You should--
you should pick them.
510
00:18:36,342 --> 00:18:39,983
And that's
what I'm gonna do.
511
00:18:39,984 --> 00:18:41,084
Take care, Audrey.
512
00:18:41,085 --> 00:18:44,320
Pam, could you
wait a minute, please?
513
00:18:46,423 --> 00:18:49,158
Did you see
what my wife did?
514
00:18:49,159 --> 00:18:50,292
She came clean,
515
00:18:50,293 --> 00:18:52,260
'cause deep down,
she's honest.
516
00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:53,495
It's very deep down,
517
00:18:53,496 --> 00:18:54,729
and sometimes
it takes a while
518
00:18:54,730 --> 00:18:57,398
to come to the surface.
519
00:18:57,399 --> 00:19:00,034
Jeff, you--
let me finish.
520
00:19:00,035 --> 00:19:02,068
Did Audrey's screws
come loose
521
00:19:02,069 --> 00:19:04,003
in the middle of the night?
522
00:19:04,004 --> 00:19:06,339
You betcha.
523
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:08,107
You see, the way I see it,
524
00:19:08,108 --> 00:19:10,242
her only crime
is wanting it too much,
525
00:19:10,243 --> 00:19:12,810
and somebody
who wants it that much
526
00:19:12,811 --> 00:19:15,513
would make a great mom.
527
00:19:15,514 --> 00:19:18,148
A great supplier
of a baby to...
528
00:19:18,149 --> 00:19:22,352
Fester up down there
in your region.
529
00:19:24,755 --> 00:19:27,990
Well,
that was very moving...
530
00:19:27,991 --> 00:19:30,792
Up until "fester."
531
00:19:30,793 --> 00:19:32,727
Look, I truly hope
that you guys
532
00:19:32,728 --> 00:19:34,595
have the family
that you want someday,
533
00:19:34,596 --> 00:19:35,896
but that doesn't
change the fact
534
00:19:35,897 --> 00:19:36,964
that she thought I would
535
00:19:36,965 --> 00:19:38,698
compromise my morals
for $5,000.
536
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:42,234
What if we made it $10,000?
537
00:19:42,235 --> 00:19:43,669
I'd say
it's not gonna work.
538
00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:45,737
Okay. I was just--
539
00:19:45,738 --> 00:19:47,939
for Sandra and Dwayne!
540
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:49,841
Congratulations!
You're gonna be new parents!
541
00:19:49,842 --> 00:19:51,809
Oh, my God!
542
00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,744
[Laughing]
543
00:19:56,623 --> 00:19:58,457
Okay, bye. Take care.
544
00:20:05,593 --> 00:20:07,360
Hey. How you doing?
545
00:20:07,361 --> 00:20:08,328
Russell Dunbar.
546
00:20:08,329 --> 00:20:10,363
Pam Nelson.
547
00:20:10,364 --> 00:20:12,898
Ah. Do you live
in the building, Pam?
548
00:20:12,899 --> 00:20:16,035
No, just doing some business
with people who do.
549
00:20:16,036 --> 00:20:18,270
Delightful.
[elevator bell rings]
550
00:20:18,271 --> 00:20:19,905
Here we go.
551
00:20:19,906 --> 00:20:22,574
Ahh.
552
00:20:22,575 --> 00:20:25,009
So will this business be
bringing you back here much?
553
00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:26,444
Yes, actually,
it will.
554
00:20:26,445 --> 00:20:28,712
How fortuitous.
555
00:20:28,713 --> 00:20:30,680
[Apartment door opens]
556
00:20:33,448 --> 00:20:35,181
No!
557
00:20:37,751 --> 00:20:39,151
Is something wrong?
558
00:20:39,152 --> 00:20:41,387
Oh, God, I hope not.
559
00:20:41,889 --> 00:20:45,322
560
00:20:45,372 --> 00:20:49,922
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