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1
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,100
Timmy.
2
00:00:05,188 --> 00:00:06,921
Yes, sir, I have your lunch
right here.
3
00:00:06,922 --> 00:00:08,690
Where's my lunch?
It's here--right here, sir.
4
00:00:08,691 --> 00:00:10,524
I'm just assembling it.
5
00:00:10,525 --> 00:00:12,726
Daddy's tum-tum needs
a sam-sam.
6
00:00:12,727 --> 00:00:15,094
It's coming.
7
00:00:15,095 --> 00:00:16,602
Yeah.
8
00:00:16,603 --> 00:00:19,120
Sooner!
9
00:00:19,121 --> 00:00:20,523
Lunch! Lunch! Lunch!
10
00:00:20,524 --> 00:00:22,045
Honestly, sir, it just won't--
won't be a minute.
11
00:00:22,046 --> 00:00:23,453
Won't be a second, sir.
Won't be--on my way.
12
00:00:23,454 --> 00:00:27,138
Blah, blah, blah.
Where is it?
13
00:00:27,139 --> 00:00:29,780
My lunch!
14
00:00:29,781 --> 00:00:31,260
Where is it?
15
00:00:31,261 --> 00:00:34,525
Your lunch, sir.
16
00:00:34,526 --> 00:00:35,643
Timmy.
17
00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,319
Hmm? Yes?
18
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:41,452
My, uh, sam-sam
has a boo-boo.
19
00:00:41,453 --> 00:00:45,352
Oh, does it, now?
20
00:00:45,353 --> 00:00:50,222
And the chips are much...
smaller than usual.
21
00:00:50,223 --> 00:00:55,288
Well, on the brighter side,
sir, there are more of them.
22
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,766
Any theories?
23
00:00:57,767 --> 00:00:59,509
Now that you mention it,
24
00:00:59,510 --> 00:01:03,764
I did notice there was
a new counterman at the deli.
25
00:01:05,442 --> 00:01:09,494
Perhaps he was a little careless
with your sam-sam.
26
00:01:10,836 --> 00:01:13,412
Perhaps.
27
00:01:13,413 --> 00:01:16,996
Well, I'll be sure
to give him "what for."
28
00:01:16,997 --> 00:01:19,038
In the meantime, sir,
29
00:01:19,039 --> 00:01:21,814
try to enjoy your lunch.
30
00:01:23,893 --> 00:01:26,434
[Door closes]
31
00:01:33,065 --> 00:01:34,401
[Can hisses]
32
00:01:34,402 --> 00:01:36,875
Timmy!
33
00:01:41,895 --> 00:01:44,972
[Groaning]
34
00:01:44,973 --> 00:01:47,612
Dude, what did you get
on your blouse?
35
00:01:47,613 --> 00:01:50,054
Oh, soda pop.
36
00:01:50,055 --> 00:01:52,795
I assumed
it was dried-up mace.
37
00:01:52,796 --> 00:01:56,673
No, mace dries clear.
38
00:01:56,674 --> 00:01:58,479
Something's up with Timmy.
39
00:01:58,480 --> 00:01:59,749
Why do you think that?
40
00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:03,494
Because lately my lunch
has been a little smashy...
41
00:02:03,495 --> 00:02:04,898
like it's been punched.
42
00:02:04,899 --> 00:02:09,479
Oh, it was a punched sandwich,
like they have in France.
43
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,150
You mean
a-a pressed sandwich?
44
00:02:11,151 --> 00:02:15,295
Oh, well, clearly
you're the expert.
45
00:02:15,296 --> 00:02:17,134
Well, all signs point
to Timmy,
46
00:02:17,135 --> 00:02:18,837
but why would he abuse
my food?
47
00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:21,345
Shot in the dark--
he hates you?
48
00:02:21,346 --> 00:02:23,784
Um, you're not there
every day, you don't know.
49
00:02:23,785 --> 00:02:26,758
I'm there.
He hates you.
50
00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:32,107
♪ How many ways to say
I love you? ♪
51
00:02:34,011 --> 00:02:38,723
♪ how many ways to say
that I'm not scared? ♪
52
00:02:38,724 --> 00:02:41,263
♪ with you by my side ♪
53
00:02:41,264 --> 00:02:44,237
♪ there is no denying ♪
54
00:02:44,238 --> 00:02:46,777
♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪
55
00:02:46,787 --> 00:02:50,687
56
00:02:50,697 --> 00:02:53,897
57
00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:55,170
Oh, got to go.
58
00:02:55,171 --> 00:02:56,638
Hey, listen, Jeff,
for dinner
59
00:02:56,639 --> 00:03:00,005
I'm gonna defrost that thing
in the back of the freezer.
60
00:03:00,006 --> 00:03:02,774
You know that thing
that was there when we moved in?
61
00:03:02,775 --> 00:03:04,575
Uh, dinner?
There's no dinner.
62
00:03:04,576 --> 00:03:05,910
It's Tuesday night.
It's your girls' night.
63
00:03:05,911 --> 00:03:07,378
Oh, no,
no more girls' night.
64
00:03:07,379 --> 00:03:08,445
The group had pretty much
whittled down
65
00:03:08,446 --> 00:03:09,513
to just me and Molly.
66
00:03:09,514 --> 00:03:11,414
And then Molly took that job
in Chicago.
67
00:03:11,415 --> 00:03:13,549
I told you this the other night
before we went to bed.
68
00:03:13,550 --> 00:03:14,884
Right.
I clearly stayed awake
69
00:03:14,885 --> 00:03:16,986
for all of that story.
70
00:03:16,987 --> 00:03:20,055
Tonight just you and I
will hang out.
71
00:03:20,056 --> 00:03:21,723
Maybe later we can
pull out the paint samples
72
00:03:21,724 --> 00:03:25,059
and finally solve the puzzle
of our powder room.
73
00:03:25,060 --> 00:03:27,394
Super.
74
00:03:27,395 --> 00:03:29,730
This is a nightmare.
75
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:31,398
Hmm.
Well, if you need any help,
76
00:03:31,399 --> 00:03:32,965
I really have a good eye
for color.
77
00:03:32,966 --> 00:03:36,535
I don't give a crap
about the color.
78
00:03:36,536 --> 00:03:40,404
What I want
is a girls' night.
79
00:03:40,405 --> 00:03:43,573
Great, I need a credit card
and bring some cash for tipping.
80
00:03:43,574 --> 00:03:45,107
Audrey's girls' night.
81
00:03:45,108 --> 00:03:46,875
It's my one free free night.
82
00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:48,410
"Free free night"?
83
00:03:48,411 --> 00:03:50,645
Yeah, it's a free night
that I don't have to ask for,
84
00:03:50,646 --> 00:03:52,280
because Audrey's already
got plans.
85
00:03:52,281 --> 00:03:54,249
So she's not letting me
do something,
86
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,851
so I don't owe her
anything.
87
00:03:58,086 --> 00:03:59,120
Boy, I hear this guy,
88
00:03:59,121 --> 00:04:01,321
and I think,
"I'll never get married."
89
00:04:01,322 --> 00:04:02,656
Ooh, not so loud.
90
00:04:02,657 --> 00:04:04,391
We don't want the women
of New York
91
00:04:04,392 --> 00:04:06,626
all killing themselves.
92
00:04:09,729 --> 00:04:12,364
So what do you do
on your free free night?
93
00:04:12,365 --> 00:04:13,365
Whatever the hell I want.
94
00:04:13,366 --> 00:04:15,299
The point is,
I get to do it alone.
95
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:18,068
Now you'll never
do it again.
96
00:04:18,069 --> 00:04:19,269
Exactly.
97
00:04:19,270 --> 00:04:20,971
Which is why,
for our powder room,
98
00:04:20,972 --> 00:04:25,508
I'm leaning towards the color
of my blown-out brains.
99
00:04:25,509 --> 00:04:28,777
I'm not afraid to admit
that, you know,
100
00:04:28,778 --> 00:04:31,079
when Jen goes out
with her girlfriends,
101
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,447
I miss her.
102
00:04:32,448 --> 00:04:33,948
Wait, Jen has
a girls' night out?
103
00:04:33,949 --> 00:04:35,616
Yeah.
And he misses--
104
00:04:35,617 --> 00:04:38,118
are we gonna skim over
how gay this is?
105
00:04:38,119 --> 00:04:39,953
Just for now.
When is it?
106
00:04:39,954 --> 00:04:42,088
Well, actually,
she's having one tonight.
107
00:04:42,089 --> 00:04:43,055
Ah, all right,
I got to go.
108
00:04:43,056 --> 00:04:45,090
I got--
well, wait.
109
00:04:45,091 --> 00:04:46,658
Yeah, oh, yeah,
what was that thing?
110
00:04:46,659 --> 00:04:48,193
When Jen's gone,
he misses her.
111
00:04:48,194 --> 00:04:50,928
Oh, right.
Gay.
112
00:04:50,929 --> 00:04:53,064
Ha ha!
113
00:04:53,065 --> 00:04:54,265
[Knock on door]
114
00:04:59,903 --> 00:05:01,737
Hey.
Hey.
115
00:05:01,738 --> 00:05:04,005
I need to talk to you.
116
00:05:04,006 --> 00:05:06,207
I'm coming in.
117
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:09,811
Wait, is Audrey
not with you?
118
00:05:09,812 --> 00:05:12,779
No, Audrey does not know
that I'm here.
119
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,447
Okay, this is weird.
120
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:18,250
I heard that you're going out
with your girlfriends tonight.
121
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,685
Not getting less weird.
122
00:05:20,686 --> 00:05:23,688
I need you to do me a favor.
Invite Audrey.
123
00:05:23,689 --> 00:05:25,623
What?
Well...
124
00:05:25,624 --> 00:05:27,825
Look, she used to have
this weekly girls' night,
125
00:05:27,826 --> 00:05:29,659
but the last one of them
just moved away,
126
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,795
and she's really broken up
about it, so...
127
00:05:32,796 --> 00:05:33,929
Oh, that's too bad.
128
00:05:33,930 --> 00:05:35,363
But this is a group of friends
from college.
129
00:05:35,364 --> 00:05:37,698
Well, Audrey went
to college.
130
00:05:37,699 --> 00:05:39,466
Yeah, but we all went
to the same college.
131
00:05:39,467 --> 00:05:40,967
I'm not sure
she'd be interested.
132
00:05:40,968 --> 00:05:42,402
Oh, well, look,
133
00:05:42,403 --> 00:05:44,738
I know some of her stories
can be long-winded,
134
00:05:44,739 --> 00:05:46,572
and they don't always have
a point,
135
00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:50,742
and the work talk
can be pretty punishing.
136
00:05:50,743 --> 00:05:51,876
Interested.
137
00:05:51,877 --> 00:05:53,744
I'm not sure
she'd be interested.
138
00:05:53,745 --> 00:05:55,445
Ah.
What, are you kidding?
139
00:05:55,446 --> 00:05:57,948
She's interested as hell.
140
00:05:57,949 --> 00:06:00,684
All right...
141
00:06:00,685 --> 00:06:01,886
What's in this for you?
142
00:06:01,887 --> 00:06:03,087
What are you talking about?
143
00:06:03,088 --> 00:06:05,656
Oh, so you're just
doing something
144
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,023
completely unselfish
145
00:06:07,024 --> 00:06:08,525
just out of love
for your wife?
146
00:06:08,526 --> 00:06:10,160
Yep.
147
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,427
Nothing in it for you?
148
00:06:11,428 --> 00:06:13,094
No.
149
00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:21,034
I've got nowhere to be.
150
00:06:21,035 --> 00:06:24,104
Okay, but she
won't know anybody.
151
00:06:24,105 --> 00:06:25,706
Oh, she'll know you,
and she'll know booze.
152
00:06:25,707 --> 00:06:26,674
She'll do fine.
153
00:06:26,675 --> 00:06:28,942
All right, sure,
I'll invite her.
154
00:06:28,943 --> 00:06:30,278
Great. Thanks.
155
00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,880
And, um, please don't tell her
that I asked.
156
00:06:32,881 --> 00:06:34,148
She has trouble
making friends,
157
00:06:34,149 --> 00:06:36,650
largely 'cause of me.
158
00:06:36,651 --> 00:06:38,018
I get that.
159
00:06:38,019 --> 00:06:40,286
In fact, when I saw you
through the peephole just now,
160
00:06:40,287 --> 00:06:42,521
I almost didn't open
the door.
161
00:06:42,522 --> 00:06:44,456
I get that.
162
00:06:48,894 --> 00:06:52,391
Timmy, can I see you
for a second?
163
00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:56,060
Yes, sir?
164
00:06:56,061 --> 00:07:00,232
Timmy, you happy here?
Enjoying the gig?
165
00:07:00,233 --> 00:07:02,735
Reasonably, sir. Some days
are better than others.
166
00:07:02,736 --> 00:07:04,603
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
167
00:07:04,604 --> 00:07:05,971
Well, I just happened
to be looking
168
00:07:05,972 --> 00:07:07,806
at some building
surveillance tapes,
169
00:07:07,807 --> 00:07:10,975
and I'm guessing
that, uh, this wasn't one
170
00:07:10,976 --> 00:07:13,143
of your better days.
171
00:07:31,126 --> 00:07:33,227
Sir, when I sipped
and spit out your iced tea,
172
00:07:33,228 --> 00:07:34,695
I wasn't thinking clearly,
173
00:07:34,696 --> 00:07:37,897
because I'd walked around all
day with an apple in my pants.
174
00:07:50,242 --> 00:07:54,177
I was tenderizing
the Danish.
175
00:07:54,178 --> 00:07:56,012
Of course, my favorite.
176
00:08:07,289 --> 00:08:10,491
Will that be all, sir?
177
00:08:11,726 --> 00:08:15,695
A couple of bad days
in a row, huh, Timmy?
178
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,197
Okay, I admit it--
I can't take it anymore.
179
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:22,200
The abuse, the exploitation,
the ritual humiliation.
180
00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:23,968
It's all part
of my new program,
181
00:08:23,969 --> 00:08:25,737
my tough-love approach
to management.
182
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:28,339
Tough love, sir?
Sit.
183
00:08:30,275 --> 00:08:31,908
Timmy, I'm like
an army drill sergeant.
184
00:08:31,909 --> 00:08:34,077
You hate me when I'm marching
you through the rain,
185
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:36,479
but when you're in the jungle
and Charlie's bringing the heat,
186
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,616
you'll thank me
for everything I taught you!
187
00:08:40,617 --> 00:08:43,251
The point is,
my former assistants
188
00:08:43,252 --> 00:08:47,422
have gone into management,
finance, marketing.
189
00:08:47,423 --> 00:08:49,190
Heck, some of them
retire comfortably
190
00:08:49,191 --> 00:08:51,091
off the settlement money alone.
191
00:08:51,092 --> 00:08:53,360
In fact,
I just got an invite
192
00:08:53,361 --> 00:08:54,762
from my last assistant,
Maynard,
193
00:08:54,763 --> 00:08:57,297
to the launch party
for his latest project.
194
00:08:57,298 --> 00:08:58,999
What does Maynard do?
195
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,166
Well, he came in here
196
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:02,235
a sniveling little piece of crap
like yourself.
197
00:09:02,236 --> 00:09:03,669
No offense.
Tough love.
198
00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:06,271
But after he left,
he became a hugely successful
199
00:09:06,272 --> 00:09:07,739
video-game designer.
200
00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:09,373
Really?
201
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:11,275
Would I lie to you?
202
00:09:11,276 --> 00:09:13,343
With only short breaks
for sleeping.
203
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:16,212
Well, you know what?
Come check it out yourself.
204
00:09:16,213 --> 00:09:18,481
You can pick his brain to see
what he learned from this job.
205
00:09:18,482 --> 00:09:22,417
[Grunts] Well, at this point,
sir, I'll try anything.
206
00:09:22,418 --> 00:09:26,154
One more thing, Timmy.
207
00:09:26,155 --> 00:09:29,557
Oh, dear God, sir,
that's not me.
208
00:09:29,558 --> 00:09:30,891
I know.
That's me having sex
209
00:09:30,892 --> 00:09:32,526
with the girl
on the third floor.
210
00:09:32,527 --> 00:09:33,960
You're not the only one
211
00:09:33,961 --> 00:09:36,663
who knows how to tenderize
the old Danish.
212
00:09:36,664 --> 00:09:39,465
[Chuckles]
213
00:09:44,503 --> 00:09:46,070
Hey, what are you doing?
214
00:09:46,071 --> 00:09:47,972
Oh, I, uh, defrosted
that thing in the freezer,
215
00:09:47,973 --> 00:09:50,073
and it started moving, so...
216
00:09:50,074 --> 00:09:52,508
I figured we'd just
order chinese.
217
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:53,509
What do you like?
218
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,744
We have hunan garden,
hunan palace.
219
00:09:55,745 --> 00:09:57,012
Or if you're more
in a dragon mood,
220
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,748
we have imperial
and twin and--
221
00:09:59,749 --> 00:10:02,817
oh, my God,
there's hunan dragon.
222
00:10:02,818 --> 00:10:06,353
Uh, this is your night--
moo shu, sweats, and me?
223
00:10:06,354 --> 00:10:09,488
Why not just wear a t-shirt
that says, "I give up"?
224
00:10:09,489 --> 00:10:11,824
Well, I could have gone out
225
00:10:11,825 --> 00:10:13,326
with Jen
and her college friends, but--
226
00:10:13,327 --> 00:10:15,661
what do you mean "could have"?
That sounds like a great time.
227
00:10:15,662 --> 00:10:18,597
Yeah, well, I just wasn't
in the mood to meet new people.
228
00:10:18,598 --> 00:10:19,698
Are you kidding me?
229
00:10:19,699 --> 00:10:21,165
You could be getting in
on the ground floor
230
00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:23,467
of a super-fun bunch!
231
00:10:23,468 --> 00:10:25,969
What's going on here?
232
00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,471
Nothing. I just want you
to have some great ladies
233
00:10:28,472 --> 00:10:29,872
to hang out with.
234
00:10:29,873 --> 00:10:30,905
That's it?
235
00:10:30,906 --> 00:10:33,374
Yeah.
236
00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:35,375
There's nothing in it
for you?
237
00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:37,377
Nope.
238
00:10:42,015 --> 00:10:46,383
I've got nowhere to be.
239
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:47,684
You win.
Here's the truth.
240
00:10:47,685 --> 00:10:49,353
Listen, I know how much
you used to look forward
241
00:10:49,354 --> 00:10:50,891
to your girls' night out.
242
00:10:50,892 --> 00:10:52,594
And now that
you don't have it anymore,
243
00:10:52,595 --> 00:10:53,995
well, you seem
a little sad.
244
00:10:53,996 --> 00:10:56,463
But I'm not sad.
245
00:10:56,464 --> 00:10:58,398
Oh, come on,
you're dead inside.
246
00:10:58,399 --> 00:11:00,100
Aud, I just want you
247
00:11:00,101 --> 00:11:02,769
to get out there
and have some fun--come on.
248
00:11:02,770 --> 00:11:04,103
You know what?
249
00:11:04,104 --> 00:11:05,672
Great.
Why not?
250
00:11:05,673 --> 00:11:06,839
All right.
251
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,508
You sure you'll be all right
by yourself?
252
00:11:08,509 --> 00:11:11,044
I will manage.
253
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,246
Oh, and go easy
on those work stories.
254
00:11:13,247 --> 00:11:15,482
You know,
you want to get invited back.
255
00:11:24,279 --> 00:11:26,881
[Indistinct chatter]
256
00:11:26,968 --> 00:11:30,304
Please, God,
be the wrong apartment.
257
00:11:30,305 --> 00:11:31,405
Hey, hon.
258
00:11:31,406 --> 00:11:33,173
How did this happen?
259
00:11:33,174 --> 00:11:35,309
Uh, well, we started
at Jen's place,
260
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,344
and then everyone wanted
to see our apartment, so...
261
00:11:37,345 --> 00:11:39,213
I'm sorry.
I thought you'd gone out.
262
00:11:39,214 --> 00:11:40,948
Yeah, I went out to get
some supplies.
263
00:11:40,949 --> 00:11:41,882
Ooh, what'd you get?
264
00:11:41,883 --> 00:11:45,152
Hey, quit that!
Give me that.
265
00:11:45,153 --> 00:11:46,687
Jen just thought
it'd be more fun
266
00:11:46,688 --> 00:11:47,654
if we hung out here.
267
00:11:47,655 --> 00:11:49,189
It's such a hassle
to go out.
268
00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:50,857
No, out--
out is fun.
269
00:11:50,858 --> 00:11:52,692
I was just there.
270
00:11:52,693 --> 00:11:54,561
Hey, you guys,
we got beer.
271
00:11:54,562 --> 00:11:56,996
You don't have beer.
I've got beer.
272
00:11:56,997 --> 00:11:58,064
Oh, look!
273
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,599
Not my tortilla chips!
274
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:03,436
They're shaped like tiny bowls
to hold the salsa.
275
00:12:03,437 --> 00:12:06,840
Salsa, but no guac?
Weak, Jeff.
276
00:12:08,442 --> 00:12:11,343
Oh, hey.
Get out.
277
00:12:13,012 --> 00:12:14,613
What? Why?
278
00:12:14,614 --> 00:12:16,247
Jen was supposed
to take Aud out tonight,
279
00:12:16,248 --> 00:12:17,515
but now they're all over
at my place,
280
00:12:17,516 --> 00:12:20,650
dipping my fancy chips
into my salsa.
281
00:12:20,651 --> 00:12:23,451
Hey, you are more than welcome
to join me
282
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:24,952
at this party with Russell.
283
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,252
Oh, thanks,
284
00:12:26,253 --> 00:12:28,250
but let's just stick with you
getting out of here.
285
00:12:28,251 --> 00:12:30,446
That way I can still salvage
my free free night.
286
00:12:30,447 --> 00:12:31,444
Where's the booze?
287
00:12:31,445 --> 00:12:33,173
All we have
is watermelon schnapps.
288
00:12:33,174 --> 00:12:36,644
Oh, dear God!
289
00:12:36,645 --> 00:12:39,981
Get some.
290
00:12:39,982 --> 00:12:41,949
What's wrong with your tv?
291
00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:43,851
Well, Jen hooked it up
to karaoke,
292
00:12:43,852 --> 00:12:45,186
and now I can't
get it back to tv.
293
00:12:45,187 --> 00:12:47,155
Oh, you let a woman mess
with your electronics.
294
00:12:47,156 --> 00:12:48,290
That's smart.
295
00:12:48,291 --> 00:12:50,391
Yeah, and you are sitting
in my apartment,
296
00:12:50,392 --> 00:12:51,592
begging me for schnapps,
297
00:12:51,593 --> 00:12:53,927
'cause clearly you know
how to handle the ladies.
298
00:12:56,230 --> 00:12:58,164
Ugh.
299
00:13:06,872 --> 00:13:09,873
Look around, Timmy, this is
all for my former assistant...
300
00:13:09,874 --> 00:13:12,575
A guy very much
like yourself...
301
00:13:12,576 --> 00:13:14,277
Except for,
instead of video games,
302
00:13:14,278 --> 00:13:16,812
you'll make your mark in
whatever a kid from England--
303
00:13:16,813 --> 00:13:17,980
South Africa.
304
00:13:17,981 --> 00:13:20,081
Grew up dreaming about
while he was helping out
305
00:13:20,082 --> 00:13:22,116
in his dad's
fish-and-chips wagon.
306
00:13:22,117 --> 00:13:23,451
Law firm.
307
00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:25,519
Hey, there he is.
Russell!
308
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:26,754
I'm really jazzed
you could make it.
309
00:13:26,755 --> 00:13:27,955
Yeah, of course you are.
310
00:13:27,956 --> 00:13:30,423
Hey, Timmy, this is
my old assistant Maynard.
311
00:13:30,424 --> 00:13:31,790
Hello.
I was just telling Timmy
312
00:13:31,791 --> 00:13:33,125
that when you came to me
from Korea--
313
00:13:33,126 --> 00:13:35,660
Cleveland.
314
00:13:35,661 --> 00:13:37,495
You were greener than snot.
315
00:13:37,496 --> 00:13:39,596
But after a few years
of my tough love,
316
00:13:39,597 --> 00:13:40,830
now you're a big deal.
317
00:13:40,831 --> 00:13:42,965
Yes, I am.
And I'll tell you,
318
00:13:42,966 --> 00:13:45,501
you did inspire me.
319
00:13:45,502 --> 00:13:47,035
Are you saying
that working for Mr. Dunbar
320
00:13:47,036 --> 00:13:48,136
was a good thing?
321
00:13:48,137 --> 00:13:49,904
I can honestly say
that tonight
322
00:13:49,905 --> 00:13:51,405
wouldn't have been possible
without him.
323
00:13:51,406 --> 00:13:52,706
Ah, ha ha!
324
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,339
Well, I can't take
all the credit.
325
00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:56,407
Okay, I'll take all the credit.
326
00:13:56,408 --> 00:13:58,675
Hey, listen, um,
can you point out
327
00:13:58,676 --> 00:14:00,844
which of these ladies
are paid for?
328
00:14:00,845 --> 00:14:04,279
Uh, I should mingle.
Oh.
329
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,413
Arigato.
330
00:14:05,414 --> 00:14:08,582
Still American.
331
00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:11,284
You hear that?
Owes it all to me.
332
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:13,052
Well, that's not exactly
what he said.
333
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,289
Well, he kinda did.
334
00:14:15,290 --> 00:14:17,026
I take your point, sir,
335
00:14:17,027 --> 00:14:19,496
but I'm still not sure
how working for you
336
00:14:19,497 --> 00:14:20,564
could be a stepping stone to--
337
00:14:20,565 --> 00:14:22,531
boobs ahoy, starboard side.
338
00:14:22,532 --> 00:14:24,633
[Chuckles lustily]
339
00:14:24,634 --> 00:14:27,769
Oh, this is great, huh?
340
00:14:27,770 --> 00:14:29,870
I can't believe I'm blowing
my free free night
341
00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:31,772
in a room full of guys
who pop a rod
342
00:14:31,773 --> 00:14:34,475
every time they see a robot.
343
00:14:34,476 --> 00:14:37,544
I agree, man.
Bot-heads are dorks.
344
00:14:37,545 --> 00:14:38,979
I'm more of a gamer.
345
00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:40,613
Really?
Tell me less.
346
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:43,082
No, now that
these programmers
347
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,183
have gotten used
to the new platforms, man,
348
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:48,084
we are--we are living
in a golden age of video games.
349
00:14:48,085 --> 00:14:51,821
I would like to be alone
with the bar.
350
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:57,227
"Super martini-o brothers,"
"pong collins"--
351
00:14:57,228 --> 00:14:58,962
what are these?
Theme drinks.
352
00:14:58,963 --> 00:15:01,064
How about a bourbon,
straight up?
353
00:15:01,065 --> 00:15:02,498
You mean a pac-manhattan?
354
00:15:02,499 --> 00:15:05,967
How about a bourbon,
hold the nerd?
355
00:15:05,968 --> 00:15:08,069
Can I get a water, please?
356
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:10,571
Water's not gonna
get you through this.
357
00:15:10,572 --> 00:15:12,872
[Chuckles] I'm good.
It's my party.
358
00:15:12,873 --> 00:15:14,807
Oh, you must be Maynard.
Jeff Bingham.
359
00:15:14,808 --> 00:15:16,742
Ah, I'm sticking
to water tonight--
360
00:15:16,743 --> 00:15:18,578
lots of socializing to do.
361
00:15:18,579 --> 00:15:20,214
I've got a suite upstairs
I probably won't see
362
00:15:20,215 --> 00:15:21,315
till sunrise.
363
00:15:21,316 --> 00:15:23,917
Really?
364
00:15:23,918 --> 00:15:25,518
Here's your water.
365
00:15:25,519 --> 00:15:28,086
So, uh, you into video...
366
00:15:28,087 --> 00:15:29,954
Games?
367
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,857
Lost my room key.
Can I get another, please?
368
00:15:33,858 --> 00:15:36,425
No problem, sir.
Name?
369
00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:38,460
Maynard.
370
00:15:38,461 --> 00:15:40,127
And your last name?
371
00:15:40,128 --> 00:15:43,330
That matters?
372
00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:45,564
It's Chang.
373
00:15:45,565 --> 00:15:47,365
Why?
374
00:15:47,366 --> 00:15:49,900
Excuse me,
I need another room key.
375
00:15:49,901 --> 00:15:52,269
My name is Chang...
376
00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:54,972
Maynard Chang.
377
00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:01,276
Sir, I think
I'm going to leave.
378
00:16:01,277 --> 00:16:02,676
What? Why?
379
00:16:02,677 --> 00:16:04,409
Because none of this
is making me feel any better
380
00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:05,777
about being in your employ.
381
00:16:05,778 --> 00:16:07,344
[Slurring] You know what
would make you feel better?
382
00:16:07,345 --> 00:16:11,081
Throw down a couple of these
donkey kongs-mopolitans.
383
00:16:12,616 --> 00:16:14,950
I just don't see
how Maynard's success
384
00:16:14,951 --> 00:16:16,652
had anything to do
with working for you.
385
00:16:16,653 --> 00:16:19,756
Oh, well, if it wasn't me,
then what was it?
386
00:16:19,757 --> 00:16:22,359
Oh, his Ivy league education,
his strong work ethic,
387
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,227
his ability
to read and capitalize
388
00:16:24,228 --> 00:16:25,829
on prevailing market trends.
389
00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:29,441
That's a reach.
390
00:16:29,442 --> 00:16:30,981
[Dramatic music, cheering]
391
00:16:30,982 --> 00:16:32,084
Quiet!
Someone who appreciates me
392
00:16:32,085 --> 00:16:34,154
is about to talk.
Thanks, everybody.
393
00:16:34,155 --> 00:16:36,823
Um, I'm thrilled so many fans
could make it here tonight.
394
00:16:36,824 --> 00:16:39,089
But you're not here to see me.
395
00:16:39,090 --> 00:16:40,691
You're here to see
my new game.
396
00:16:40,692 --> 00:16:42,759
[Cheers and applause]
397
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,492
What a bunch of palm jockeys.
398
00:16:45,493 --> 00:16:46,625
Here we go.
399
00:16:46,626 --> 00:16:50,629
In a world of demons,
dragons, and ogres,
400
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:54,198
there is one creature
more evil than all the rest.
401
00:16:54,199 --> 00:16:57,001
Show yourself,
foul beast!
402
00:16:57,002 --> 00:16:58,268
Ha!
Hyah!
403
00:16:58,269 --> 00:16:59,836
Ha!
404
00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,104
You thinketh me a coward?
405
00:17:01,105 --> 00:17:03,673
You kinda are.
406
00:17:05,676 --> 00:17:06,710
Ow!
407
00:17:06,711 --> 00:17:08,476
Smashgnome.
408
00:17:08,477 --> 00:17:11,545
[Cheers and applause]
409
00:17:11,546 --> 00:17:13,079
Oh, my gosh!
410
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:15,315
It's you!
411
00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:18,150
What's me?
412
00:17:18,151 --> 00:17:20,552
[Chuckles]
Missed me.
413
00:17:20,553 --> 00:17:22,721
Loser.
414
00:17:22,722 --> 00:17:24,990
I'm not seeing it.
415
00:17:24,991 --> 00:17:27,392
Sayonara, suckwads!
416
00:17:27,393 --> 00:17:29,228
Ah, classic!
Heh heh.
417
00:17:29,229 --> 00:17:32,464
Heh heh.
418
00:17:32,465 --> 00:17:35,800
Well, it looks like Maynard
has even more pent-up aggression
419
00:17:35,801 --> 00:17:37,067
toward you than I do.
420
00:17:37,068 --> 00:17:38,535
I can't believe it.
Neither can I.
421
00:17:38,536 --> 00:17:40,370
This is more inspirational
422
00:17:40,371 --> 00:17:42,806
than I could ever
have hoped for.
423
00:17:42,807 --> 00:17:46,176
You're the gnome!
No.
424
00:17:46,177 --> 00:17:48,079
The gnome.
425
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,714
Hey, everyone, look.
426
00:17:49,715 --> 00:17:51,349
The gnome is here!
427
00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:52,917
No. No!
428
00:17:52,918 --> 00:17:55,453
All:
Gnome! Gnome! Gnome!
429
00:17:55,454 --> 00:17:59,254
Gnome! Gnome! Gnome!
Gnome! Gnome!
430
00:17:59,255 --> 00:18:03,657
Gnome! Gnome! Gnome! Gnome!
Gnome! Gnome! Gnome! Gnome!
431
00:18:10,362 --> 00:18:11,996
[Sighs]
432
00:18:17,735 --> 00:18:19,702
Hey.
433
00:18:22,772 --> 00:18:24,406
Hey!
434
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:25,306
What?
435
00:18:25,307 --> 00:18:27,308
What are you doing
in my room?
436
00:18:27,309 --> 00:18:31,745
Don't worry,
I'm Maynard, um...
437
00:18:31,746 --> 00:18:33,113
What's his name?
438
00:18:33,114 --> 00:18:35,214
No, I am.
439
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:38,551
Yeah, and, uh, you said
that you weren't gonna be back
440
00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,552
until sunrise.
441
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:43,988
I'm gonna call security.
442
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:46,057
Oh, don't bother.
I'm leaving.
443
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,992
And, uh...
444
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:50,527
Yeah, save yourself
12 bucks on pay-per-view.
445
00:18:50,528 --> 00:18:52,395
Genital hospital...
446
00:18:52,396 --> 00:18:54,964
It's not gonna get you there.
447
00:19:00,336 --> 00:19:02,470
Wow.
448
00:19:02,471 --> 00:19:05,472
So you really broke
into this guy's hotel room
449
00:19:05,473 --> 00:19:07,407
and stayed there
till 3:00 in the morning?
450
00:19:07,408 --> 00:19:10,810
Yeah, 3:30.
451
00:19:10,811 --> 00:19:13,112
Just so you could be alone?
Yeah.
452
00:19:13,113 --> 00:19:16,482
And why didn't you just tell
me you wanted some alone time?
453
00:19:16,483 --> 00:19:18,617
Well, that would have been
free time,
454
00:19:18,618 --> 00:19:22,787
but not free free time.
455
00:19:22,788 --> 00:19:26,056
Oh, boy.
456
00:19:27,692 --> 00:19:29,159
And why is that?
457
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,760
'Cause then I'd owe you.
458
00:19:30,761 --> 00:19:33,629
And sometime in the future,
maybe 30 years from now,
459
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:36,231
you'll say to me,
"remember that time
460
00:19:36,232 --> 00:19:38,266
I gave you a night
to yourself?"
461
00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:41,869
More likely, 30 years
from now, I'll say to you,
462
00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:45,639
"wow, you look a lot
like my first husband."
463
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,107
Look, you know, aud,
we have been together constantly
464
00:19:48,108 --> 00:19:49,142
for all these years.
465
00:19:49,143 --> 00:19:50,676
Aren't you a little thrilled
466
00:19:50,677 --> 00:19:52,211
when you get some time
to yourself?
467
00:19:52,212 --> 00:19:55,946
Absolutely not.
468
00:19:55,947 --> 00:19:59,182
I cherish every moment
that we spend together.
469
00:20:01,219 --> 00:20:03,188
I think those are the most
special times...
470
00:20:03,189 --> 00:20:06,891
[Both laughing]
471
00:20:06,892 --> 00:20:09,093
You almost had me there.
472
00:20:09,094 --> 00:20:11,027
Ha ha. I know.
473
00:20:11,028 --> 00:20:13,329
I couldn't land it!
474
00:20:17,374 --> 00:20:18,307
Timmy!
475
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,560
What's taking so long?
476
00:20:21,561 --> 00:20:24,430
Lunch! Lunch!
477
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:27,633
One moment, sir.
478
00:20:27,634 --> 00:20:31,236
Heh heh.
479
00:20:31,237 --> 00:20:34,238
Aah!
480
00:20:34,239 --> 00:20:37,008
Aah!
481
00:20:37,009 --> 00:20:38,576
Ah!
482
00:20:38,577 --> 00:20:41,712
[Sighs]
483
00:20:41,713 --> 00:20:45,082
484
00:20:45,132 --> 00:20:49,682
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