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1
00:00:07,046 --> 00:00:08,166
Hey.
2
00:00:08,393 --> 00:00:09,513
Timmy. I got a lin'vite
3
00:00:09,752 --> 00:00:10,872
to a shindig in the Hamptons
4
00:00:11,075 --> 00:00:12,595
tomorrow. Be ready to leave at noon.
5
00:00:13,296 --> 00:00:14,116
And don't wear that jacket that
6
00:00:14,368 --> 00:00:15,768
makes you look like a terrorist.
7
00:00:16,812 --> 00:00:19,612
So it's personally hurtful, and
politically incorrect sir.
8
00:00:19,828 --> 00:00:21,228
Well done.
9
00:00:21,910 --> 00:00:23,130
However I can't make it.
10
00:00:23,906 --> 00:00:25,326
Uhh... why?
11
00:00:25,704 --> 00:00:27,124
I'm doing volunteer work tomorrow.
12
00:00:28,423 --> 00:00:30,643
Oh you gotta make up for a little
drinky drinky,
13
00:00:30,874 --> 00:00:31,994
swervy, swervy.
14
00:00:33,178 --> 00:00:34,298
No.
15
00:00:34,992 --> 00:00:37,092
Oh, did you proposition
an undercover cop?
16
00:00:37,626 --> 00:00:38,746
No.
17
00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:40,128
Oh it wasn't a cop.
18
00:00:40,138 --> 00:00:41,258
How was she.
19
00:00:41,789 --> 00:00:43,189
There was no prostitute.
20
00:00:46,055 --> 00:00:47,675
I'm volunteering for an organization
21
00:00:47,685 --> 00:00:49,205
that revitalized empty lots
22
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,535
and turns them into Parks.
23
00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:52,450
I've even been successful in signing up
24
00:00:52,460 --> 00:00:54,080
a few recruits from the office, sir.
25
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:56,160
Okay now I get why you're
doing this.
26
00:00:56,170 --> 00:00:58,370
Trying to dip your pen
in the company sluts.
27
00:01:00,169 --> 00:01:04,438
What started as a metaphor
ended in tragedy.
28
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,073
Wait a second.
29
00:01:06,074 --> 00:01:08,808
This one's married.
This one's a lesbian.
30
00:01:08,809 --> 00:01:11,366
This one's quick
with the mace.
31
00:01:11,367 --> 00:01:13,228
All right, fess up,
what's in it for you?
32
00:01:13,229 --> 00:01:14,907
I don't follow, sir?
33
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:18,084
Anyone who does any work
with a charity has an angle.
34
00:01:18,085 --> 00:01:20,666
My mom did it to get
into the right parties.
35
00:01:20,667 --> 00:01:23,093
My dad did it
to look like a big man,
36
00:01:23,094 --> 00:01:25,321
Even though all he did
was write a check.
37
00:01:25,322 --> 00:01:27,514
My Uncle Glen did it
until child services
38
00:01:27,515 --> 00:01:30,076
Shut down his camp.
39
00:01:30,077 --> 00:01:32,971
Um...Well,
I only volunteer
40
00:01:32,972 --> 00:01:34,304
Because it makes me
feel good, sir.
41
00:01:34,305 --> 00:01:37,037
Oh, ho ho! Is that the way
you want to play it?
42
00:01:37,038 --> 00:01:38,671
Tell you what.
43
00:01:38,672 --> 00:01:40,339
I'm gonna find out why
you're really doing this.
44
00:01:40,340 --> 00:01:41,971
Super use
of your time, sir.
45
00:01:41,972 --> 00:01:43,934
Now, if you will
excuse me--
46
00:01:43,935 --> 00:01:45,400
Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
47
00:01:45,401 --> 00:01:47,135
I'll, uh,
hang on to this.
48
00:01:47,136 --> 00:01:49,136
Why?
Are you going to sign up, sir?
49
00:01:49,137 --> 00:01:50,468
No.
50
00:01:50,469 --> 00:01:52,168
Just wanna get
big old lesbian Shirley's
51
00:01:52,169 --> 00:01:53,333
Home phone number, you know.
52
00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:54,462
She's growing
her hair out.
53
00:01:54,463 --> 00:01:57,763
I think she's
coming around!
54
00:01:57,764 --> 00:02:03,290
♪ how many ways
to say I love you ♪
55
00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:08,091
♪ how many ways to say
that I'm not scared ♪
56
00:02:08,092 --> 00:02:10,759
♪ with you
by my side ♪
57
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,092
♪ there is no denying ♪
58
00:02:13,093 --> 00:02:17,212
♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪
59
00:02:17,222 --> 00:02:22,122
60
00:02:22,132 --> 00:02:25,152
61
00:02:26,976 --> 00:02:28,442
So then I sat down
and he said,
62
00:02:28,443 --> 00:02:31,377
"wow, the picture on your
profile page is way different."
63
00:02:31,378 --> 00:02:32,778
And I said,
"what do you mean?"
64
00:02:32,779 --> 00:02:34,079
Even though
I knew what he meant
65
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,680
Because I'd been
using a blurry picture
66
00:02:35,681 --> 00:02:39,115
Of Kim Kardashian
I found on the Internet.
67
00:02:39,116 --> 00:02:40,716
So you're not using
the blurry picture
68
00:02:40,717 --> 00:02:42,317
Of Penelope Cruz anymore?
69
00:02:42,318 --> 00:02:45,052
No.
70
00:02:45,053 --> 00:02:46,686
So then I'm
in the middle of telling him
71
00:02:46,687 --> 00:02:48,454
How cool
my new tap class is
72
00:02:48,455 --> 00:02:51,390
When he remembers that he's
gotta go pick his sister up
73
00:02:51,391 --> 00:02:54,058
From the airport
and he's gotta go.
74
00:02:54,059 --> 00:02:55,292
Well...
[scoffs]
75
00:02:55,293 --> 00:02:58,495
You don't want a guy
that forgetful anyway.
76
00:02:58,496 --> 00:03:02,931
Oh, the Mets suck!
77
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,932
Jeff, we are
at dinner with Liz.
78
00:03:04,933 --> 00:03:08,197
Well, don't blame me,
blame the Mets' bullpen.
79
00:03:08,198 --> 00:03:09,761
All right,
you shouldn't be checking
80
00:03:09,762 --> 00:03:11,194
The baseball scores
at the table.
81
00:03:11,195 --> 00:03:14,061
You're right.
There's a tv in the bar.
82
00:03:14,062 --> 00:03:18,331
F.Y.I.,
I counted my shrimp.
83
00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:23,569
Anyway...
84
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,804
Oh, what about that guy
that Lisa set you up with?
85
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:27,772
Oh, I called him
for a second date,
86
00:03:27,773 --> 00:03:30,842
And he told me he was moving
to Canada the next day.
87
00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:34,278
Well, that's
just bad timing.
88
00:03:37,048 --> 00:03:40,317
I bet Jeff didn't
really count these.
89
00:03:45,821 --> 00:03:48,122
I just have
the worst luck.
90
00:03:48,123 --> 00:03:53,527
Did you know I haven't slept
with a man in almost a year?
91
00:03:53,528 --> 00:03:55,128
Well, I have.
92
00:03:55,129 --> 00:03:57,963
Let me tell you,
you're not missing much.
93
00:03:57,964 --> 00:03:59,331
I'm starting
to think no one will
94
00:03:59,332 --> 00:04:00,666
Ever want
to sleep with me again.
95
00:04:00,667 --> 00:04:02,836
Oh, Liz, no.
That's not true.
96
00:04:02,837 --> 00:04:05,738
No? Then name one
person who would want me.
97
00:04:05,739 --> 00:04:08,274
Well, uh, I don't know
specifically, but I--
98
00:04:08,275 --> 00:04:11,043
You don't have to do that.
It's hopeless.
99
00:04:11,044 --> 00:04:12,845
I just feel so alone.
100
00:04:12,846 --> 00:04:15,647
Oh...I...
101
00:04:15,648 --> 00:04:18,282
Jeff!
102
00:04:19,818 --> 00:04:20,884
Huh?
103
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:24,257
Jeff would totally
sleep with you.
104
00:04:24,258 --> 00:04:26,092
What?
105
00:04:26,093 --> 00:04:28,327
I probably shouldn't
be telling you this,
106
00:04:28,328 --> 00:04:32,063
But you know how
married people sometimes--
107
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:34,431
No.
108
00:04:34,432 --> 00:04:36,133
Right, well...
109
00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:38,269
Sometimes married people
play that game
110
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:39,870
Where you make a list,
you know, of who
111
00:04:39,871 --> 00:04:41,405
You'd have sex
with if, God forbid,
112
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,907
Something happened
to the other one.
113
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,842
And it just so happens
you were on Jeff's list.
114
00:04:45,843 --> 00:04:48,879
Come on.
No, I'm serious.
115
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,315
You're in
the top five. Ha!
116
00:04:53,985 --> 00:04:57,888
Wow!
Jeff finds me attractive.
117
00:04:57,889 --> 00:05:00,390
That makes me
feel so good.
118
00:05:00,391 --> 00:05:02,693
But, Audrey, I would
never do anything--
119
00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:04,228
Oh, no, no.
Of course.
120
00:05:04,229 --> 00:05:07,799
I mean, I have to.
But...
121
00:05:13,406 --> 00:05:18,471
Oh...Oh, God.
Oh!
122
00:05:18,472 --> 00:05:20,405
Adam,
I am not enjoying this.
123
00:05:20,406 --> 00:05:23,801
It's like a soundtrack
to their sex life.
124
00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:26,970
You're so inconsiderate.
125
00:05:26,971 --> 00:05:29,372
He knows I'm trying
to lose a few pounds.
126
00:05:29,373 --> 00:05:33,009
Good, maybe I can get
a little more room on the bench.
127
00:05:33,010 --> 00:05:35,777
What, I'm sneakin'
a cheek over here.
128
00:05:35,778 --> 00:05:37,746
I'm sorry,
I can't help it.
129
00:05:37,747 --> 00:05:38,913
These waffles
are so good.
130
00:05:38,914 --> 00:05:40,381
Jeff, here.
Taste this.
131
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:41,983
I can't.
I'm allergic to strawberries.
132
00:05:41,984 --> 00:05:44,718
My head swells up
like a bounce house.
133
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,187
Uh-oh.
Call the hospital.
134
00:05:47,188 --> 00:05:49,422
It already happened!
135
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,825
Wha--? Come on,
you guys used to be fun.
136
00:05:52,826 --> 00:05:55,027
What happened
to the laughter?
137
00:05:56,095 --> 00:05:57,595
Jen, you don't
need to lose weight.
138
00:05:57,596 --> 00:05:58,730
That's what
I told her.
139
00:05:58,731 --> 00:05:59,864
No, I do!
140
00:05:59,865 --> 00:06:01,431
I went to try on
wedding dresses this week
141
00:06:01,432 --> 00:06:02,899
And when they
would fasten them up,
142
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:05,067
The fat on the top of my back
would pinch together.
143
00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:07,770
Like a butt.
144
00:06:07,771 --> 00:06:09,771
Like a back butt.
145
00:06:09,772 --> 00:06:12,807
Oh, yeah, my cousin Wanda
had one of those at her wedding.
146
00:06:12,808 --> 00:06:15,276
Wanda the hutt.
147
00:06:15,277 --> 00:06:16,811
See? You have to be
supportive of me.
148
00:06:16,812 --> 00:06:18,949
Honey, it would be easier
if you weren't being crazy.
149
00:06:18,950 --> 00:06:20,683
I mean, you think
you need to lose weight--
150
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:21,818
Which you don't--
151
00:06:21,819 --> 00:06:23,285
And then I suffer
because you won't
152
00:06:23,286 --> 00:06:25,955
Let me keep
my treats in the house.
153
00:06:25,956 --> 00:06:28,824
He calls
them treats?
154
00:06:28,825 --> 00:06:31,426
Yeah, I got some work
to do before the wedding.
155
00:06:31,427 --> 00:06:32,693
Hey,
you made reservations
156
00:06:32,694 --> 00:06:34,495
At Walden's Steakhouse
for tomorrow, right?
157
00:06:34,496 --> 00:06:36,630
Uh, yeah, yeah.
And, um, sorry...
158
00:06:36,631 --> 00:06:38,831
But it turns out
it's going to be a double date.
159
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,934
Don't be mad at me, but Liz
met someone on the Internet.
160
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:44,436
Aw, damn it!
161
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,971
Is this Liz,
your old boss,
162
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:47,705
The one whose tap recital
you had to go to?
163
00:06:47,706 --> 00:06:48,873
Yes.
164
00:06:48,874 --> 00:06:50,474
You know, I thought
there would be
165
00:06:50,475 --> 00:06:52,442
At least one
other adult in it.
166
00:06:52,443 --> 00:06:54,410
Anyway, I invited her
167
00:06:54,411 --> 00:06:56,211
'cause I thought she'd
be more comfortable
168
00:06:56,212 --> 00:06:57,678
Meeting this guy
with us there.
169
00:06:57,679 --> 00:06:59,747
Yeah, cause she knows it's
gonna take all three of us
170
00:06:59,748 --> 00:07:02,516
To keep him
from running away.
171
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:09,932
Do, uh, you and Jen
ever do any charity work?
172
00:07:09,933 --> 00:07:11,467
Uh, sometimes.
173
00:07:11,468 --> 00:07:13,937
Just last night
Jen did some charity work,
174
00:07:13,938 --> 00:07:16,639
If you know what I mean.
175
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,375
You're referring
to yourself as charity?
176
00:07:18,376 --> 00:07:19,976
Oh, yeah!
177
00:07:19,977 --> 00:07:22,178
Oh, wait...No.
178
00:07:22,179 --> 00:07:23,947
Too late, you did.
179
00:07:23,948 --> 00:07:27,116
I just texted Jeff.
180
00:07:27,117 --> 00:07:29,118
So what's goin'
on over there?
181
00:07:29,119 --> 00:07:31,154
Jen is on
this crazy diet,
182
00:07:31,155 --> 00:07:34,457
And last night
she ate some of my treats.
183
00:07:34,458 --> 00:07:37,960
I mean,
my adult snacks.
184
00:07:37,961 --> 00:07:40,096
And then she got mad at
herself and threw the rest out,
185
00:07:40,097 --> 00:07:43,332
So I'm putting a lock on this
cabinet so she can't get to it.
186
00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:46,668
Heh...Congratulations,
you're engaged to a bear.
187
00:07:47,937 --> 00:07:49,237
Ah!
Hey.
188
00:07:49,238 --> 00:07:50,371
Hey, Jen.
189
00:07:50,372 --> 00:07:52,073
Hey, let me ask
you a question.
190
00:07:52,074 --> 00:07:54,776
Do you ever do
any charity work?
191
00:07:54,777 --> 00:07:56,311
Does talking to you
right now count?
192
00:07:56,312 --> 00:07:57,612
[chuckles]
193
00:07:57,613 --> 00:07:59,447
You know, I don't even
know why I come over here.
194
00:07:59,448 --> 00:08:01,983
Well, it's certainly not
in response to an invitation.
195
00:08:01,984 --> 00:08:05,286
All right, that's it,
I can take a hint.
196
00:08:05,287 --> 00:08:08,156
You guys want
to order Chinese?
197
00:08:08,157 --> 00:08:10,324
Oh, yeah, I'd love to.
198
00:08:10,325 --> 00:08:11,558
No, too fattening.
199
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:14,494
Not if you
don't eat it.
200
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:17,231
Oh, I think
I've poked the bear.
201
00:08:17,232 --> 00:08:19,032
[laughing]
202
00:08:19,033 --> 00:08:20,467
What's this?
203
00:08:20,468 --> 00:08:21,702
Oh, I locked up
the junk food
204
00:08:21,703 --> 00:08:23,003
So you wouldn't be
tempted to eat it.
205
00:08:23,004 --> 00:08:25,005
Seems pretty drastic,
but really not necessary.
206
00:08:25,006 --> 00:08:26,940
I've got all the healthy snacks
I need right here.
207
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:31,011
Rice cakes,
carrots, tofu--
208
00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:32,513
Hey, is that
a Kit Kat wrapper?
209
00:08:32,514 --> 00:08:35,682
Oh...I can't believe
someone threw that in there.
210
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:39,018
Whoa, you killed
a king size.
211
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,489
Ooh,
don't show fear.
212
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,961
Just make yourself
seem bigger and back away.
213
00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:56,333
[phone rings]
214
00:08:56,334 --> 00:08:57,901
Hello.
215
00:08:57,902 --> 00:08:59,303
Hey, it's me.
Are you there yet?
216
00:08:59,304 --> 00:09:00,537
Yeah, I'm
having a drink.
217
00:09:00,538 --> 00:09:02,538
Listen, I just got
a text from Liz.
218
00:09:02,539 --> 00:09:04,573
Her date cancelled on her.
Oh, let me guess.
219
00:09:04,574 --> 00:09:06,274
He found that video
of her on Youtube
220
00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:08,743
Tap dancing
to it's raining men.
221
00:09:10,345 --> 00:09:12,146
I don't know
the reason, Jeff.
222
00:09:12,147 --> 00:09:13,614
Listen, I just
got called in to work,
223
00:09:13,615 --> 00:09:14,983
But it should only be
a few minutes
224
00:09:14,984 --> 00:09:16,120
So I'll be there
as soon as I can.
225
00:09:16,121 --> 00:09:17,290
You and Liz
start without me.
226
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:19,862
Me and Liz alone?
I don't think so.
227
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:23,003
I don't need my steak
marinated in tears,
228
00:09:23,004 --> 00:09:26,907
And I don't have the strength
to defend my shrimp alone.
229
00:09:26,908 --> 00:09:30,611
Look, I'm just going to walk
around the block until you get--
230
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,980
Hey, Liz.
231
00:09:34,716 --> 00:09:36,149
[whispered]
get here!
232
00:09:44,275 --> 00:09:46,943
Timmy!
233
00:09:46,944 --> 00:09:49,645
[sigh]
oh, dear.
234
00:09:49,646 --> 00:09:51,447
Why, sir? Why?
235
00:09:51,448 --> 00:09:55,083
Still tryin' to find out
what your angle is, buddy.
236
00:09:55,084 --> 00:09:57,485
Oh, there we go,
free food.
237
00:09:57,486 --> 00:09:58,920
Oh, yes,
because how else
238
00:09:58,921 --> 00:10:01,255
Would I acquire a limp
deli sandwich, sir?
239
00:10:01,256 --> 00:10:04,458
Hey...Where are
the rest of the hoes?
240
00:10:04,459 --> 00:10:05,559
They're back in the van.
241
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:06,693
Thanks.
242
00:10:06,694 --> 00:10:07,861
Aha! That's it.
243
00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:10,631
Party van full of hos!
244
00:10:10,632 --> 00:10:11,798
Not your kind of hos, sir.
245
00:10:11,799 --> 00:10:14,600
This kind.
Oh.
246
00:10:14,601 --> 00:10:17,503
Most disappointing
homonym ever.
247
00:10:17,504 --> 00:10:19,439
So you, uh...
248
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,541
You really get a good
feeling from doing this stuff?
249
00:10:21,542 --> 00:10:24,344
Yes, I do, sir.
250
00:10:24,345 --> 00:10:26,179
I wanna feel good too.
251
00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:28,081
Seriously?
Yeah.
252
00:10:28,082 --> 00:10:29,248
Okay, then.
Right on, sir.
253
00:10:29,249 --> 00:10:31,484
There you go.
All right.
254
00:10:31,485 --> 00:10:33,719
How does it work?
255
00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:39,959
Aah.
256
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,796
Whew!
257
00:10:42,797 --> 00:10:44,163
Sir?
258
00:10:44,164 --> 00:10:47,000
Yeah?
259
00:10:48,836 --> 00:10:51,437
Timmy?
Timmy.
260
00:10:51,438 --> 00:10:52,572
What is it?
261
00:10:52,573 --> 00:10:54,474
Sir, it's a blister.
262
00:10:55,909 --> 00:10:57,376
Is there a cure?
263
00:11:03,782 --> 00:11:07,285
I'll have the New York strip,
rare, with the truffle butter.
264
00:11:07,286 --> 00:11:08,752
Great choice, sir.
265
00:11:08,753 --> 00:11:10,254
Oh...
266
00:11:10,255 --> 00:11:13,525
I really don't like meat.
267
00:11:13,526 --> 00:11:16,262
This is hard for me.
268
00:11:17,132 --> 00:11:21,202
It's hard for all of us.
269
00:11:21,203 --> 00:11:23,071
I'll come back.
Can I get you another?
270
00:11:23,072 --> 00:11:27,842
Never stop
getting me another.
271
00:11:27,843 --> 00:11:30,577
Well, at least I can
eat whatever I want.
272
00:11:30,578 --> 00:11:33,380
Don't have to worry
about impressing a date.
273
00:11:33,381 --> 00:11:35,149
Yeah, I'm sorry
that he canceled,
274
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:37,351
But gallbladders burst.
275
00:11:37,352 --> 00:11:41,488
Very common.
I know four men this year.
276
00:11:43,258 --> 00:11:44,525
Normally, I'd be bummed.
277
00:11:44,526 --> 00:11:46,560
But I'm feeling
pretty good lately,
278
00:11:46,561 --> 00:11:48,729
And, well...
I have you to thank.
279
00:11:48,730 --> 00:11:50,864
Yeah?
What'd I do?
280
00:11:50,865 --> 00:11:53,601
I don't know
if she mentioned anything,
281
00:11:53,602 --> 00:11:56,603
But Audrey told me
about your list.
282
00:11:56,604 --> 00:11:58,905
Favorite quarterbacks,
microbrews...
283
00:11:58,906 --> 00:12:00,640
What list are
we talking about?
284
00:12:01,842 --> 00:12:03,375
Your list
of who you'd sleep with
285
00:12:03,376 --> 00:12:04,809
If Audrey wasn't around.
286
00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:06,678
Oh, yeah.
287
00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:08,379
That's a good one.
288
00:12:10,415 --> 00:12:11,682
I know.
289
00:12:11,683 --> 00:12:14,352
And I'm flattered
to be on it.
290
00:12:21,862 --> 00:12:23,996
On what?
291
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:28,303
You don't have
to be embarrassed.
292
00:12:28,304 --> 00:12:30,471
Audrey told me
I was in the top five.
293
00:12:32,774 --> 00:12:35,242
Did she?
294
00:12:35,243 --> 00:12:38,478
I bring it up
because I'd like to know
295
00:12:38,479 --> 00:12:41,382
What qualities I should
highlight on future dates.
296
00:12:41,383 --> 00:12:44,117
So what is it
about me exactly
297
00:12:44,118 --> 00:12:46,486
That you
are so attracted to?
298
00:12:48,490 --> 00:12:50,190
Jeff?
Yeah, I'm thinking.
299
00:12:50,191 --> 00:12:53,227
It's just a toughie,
it's really tough...
300
00:12:53,228 --> 00:12:54,494
You know, to narrow it down.
301
00:12:54,495 --> 00:12:59,734
I...Like
the way that you...
302
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,569
Wear your stretch pants.
303
00:13:04,038 --> 00:13:05,305
Oh, you can do
better than that.
304
00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:07,908
I'm not sure
that I can.
305
00:13:10,145 --> 00:13:11,711
Maybe you
like my breasts?
306
00:13:11,712 --> 00:13:14,213
Oh.
307
00:13:14,214 --> 00:13:15,815
Wanna know a secret
about my breasts?
308
00:13:15,816 --> 00:13:17,016
No.
309
00:13:19,586 --> 00:13:21,754
One's lower
than the other.
310
00:13:32,099 --> 00:13:33,232
What happened?
311
00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:36,302
I smelled donuts.
312
00:13:36,303 --> 00:13:38,337
But I hid the screwdriver.
313
00:13:38,338 --> 00:13:41,574
I used my hands.
314
00:13:41,575 --> 00:13:44,610
My God, you are a bear.
315
00:13:47,014 --> 00:13:49,916
[dance music]
316
00:13:49,917 --> 00:13:57,056
♪ ♪
317
00:13:57,057 --> 00:14:00,025
You're really
going to town there.
318
00:14:00,026 --> 00:14:03,696
That's before you got
the special bra, huh?
319
00:14:05,532 --> 00:14:08,033
That's why
I got it.
320
00:14:09,502 --> 00:14:11,703
All right, then.
321
00:14:11,704 --> 00:14:13,205
[phone ringing]
322
00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:16,942
Oh, it's Audrey.
Excuse me.
323
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:19,411
Thank God.
Where are you?
324
00:14:19,412 --> 00:14:22,147
I'm so sorry.
I'm not going to make it.
325
00:14:22,148 --> 00:14:23,415
What?
326
00:14:23,416 --> 00:14:25,383
We have to rebuild
the whole issue tonight.
327
00:14:25,384 --> 00:14:26,484
There's no way.
328
00:14:26,485 --> 00:14:29,487
Quit your job.
329
00:14:29,488 --> 00:14:30,822
What?
330
00:14:30,823 --> 00:14:33,024
Quit your job and
start pursuing your dream
331
00:14:33,025 --> 00:14:35,894
Of getting me out of here.
332
00:14:35,895 --> 00:14:37,562
Yeah, sorry.
333
00:14:37,563 --> 00:14:40,531
Hey, listen,
I doubt this will come up,
334
00:14:40,532 --> 00:14:43,234
But the other day
Liz was so down
335
00:14:43,235 --> 00:14:45,269
I sort of,
kind of, told her--
336
00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:46,604
That I wanted
to sleep with her.
337
00:14:46,605 --> 00:14:48,339
It came up.
338
00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:50,875
Jeff, please.
Do not hurt her feelings.
339
00:14:50,876 --> 00:14:52,243
Her feelings?
340
00:14:52,244 --> 00:14:53,945
How do you think
Danica Patrick feels
341
00:14:53,946 --> 00:14:55,346
Knowing she
got bumped off my list
342
00:14:55,347 --> 00:14:57,448
For miss long-boob over here?
343
00:14:57,449 --> 00:15:01,018
She told
you about that?
344
00:15:01,019 --> 00:15:03,988
You know she
showed me once.
345
00:15:03,989 --> 00:15:07,491
It looks like
a sock full of sand.
346
00:15:12,630 --> 00:15:14,131
Anyway, babe,
I'm really sorry.
347
00:15:14,132 --> 00:15:15,799
I've gotta go.
No.
348
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,535
Sorry.
No.
349
00:15:30,314 --> 00:15:33,316
Timmy.
350
00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:36,887
It's not working.
351
00:15:36,888 --> 00:15:39,256
What's not working, sir?
Besides you.
352
00:15:39,257 --> 00:15:41,058
That good feeling
you promised me.
353
00:15:41,059 --> 00:15:43,126
Where is it?
I want it.
354
00:15:43,127 --> 00:15:45,662
Hey, Timir.
355
00:15:45,663 --> 00:15:46,796
Wood chips came in.
356
00:15:46,797 --> 00:15:47,997
We can start filling in
the playground.
357
00:15:47,998 --> 00:15:50,066
Great, be there
in a second.
358
00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:52,135
Hey, what did
he just call you?
359
00:15:52,136 --> 00:15:53,169
Timir.
360
00:15:53,170 --> 00:15:55,004
It's my Indian name.
I prefer Timmy.
361
00:15:55,005 --> 00:15:56,673
I'm sure you do, timir.
362
00:15:56,674 --> 00:15:58,241
Ha ha!
363
00:15:58,242 --> 00:15:59,242
Hey, Timir,
364
00:15:59,243 --> 00:16:00,777
Starting to get
that good feeling.
365
00:16:00,778 --> 00:16:03,413
It's a timir-acle!
366
00:16:03,414 --> 00:16:04,781
Are you finished, sir?
367
00:16:04,782 --> 00:16:08,084
Au contraire,
I'm timir-ly getting started.
368
00:16:09,253 --> 00:16:11,420
Aw, come here, Timir.
369
00:16:11,421 --> 00:16:13,022
I didn't
even try on that one!
370
00:16:13,023 --> 00:16:16,492
[sighs]
sir.
371
00:16:16,493 --> 00:16:19,095
No matter how much
you ridicule me,
372
00:16:19,096 --> 00:16:20,797
You cannot take
away the pride,
373
00:16:20,798 --> 00:16:23,299
The sense of accomplishment
I will feel every day
374
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:24,500
When I walk by this park.
375
00:16:24,501 --> 00:16:26,702
And that is a feeling
you will never have.
376
00:16:26,703 --> 00:16:29,238
I feel sorry for you,
Russell Dunbar.
377
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,540
I really do.
378
00:16:32,442 --> 00:16:34,910
Hey, that guy's name
is Timir.
379
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,513
So?
380
00:16:37,514 --> 00:16:39,615
Seemed funny.
381
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,820
Jeff, I could really
use your insight here.
382
00:16:44,821 --> 00:16:46,621
When did it occur to you
383
00:16:46,622 --> 00:16:48,924
That you wanted
to make love to me?
384
00:16:51,628 --> 00:16:55,130
I don't remember.
385
00:16:55,131 --> 00:16:57,266
Was it the time
I was over showing off
386
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,768
The shimmer unitard
I wore for my tap recital?
387
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,638
I think it's safe
to say it was another time.
388
00:17:04,173 --> 00:17:05,707
Here's your
strawberry daiquiri.
389
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:07,176
Mmm, yummy!
390
00:17:07,177 --> 00:17:08,877
Is there anything else
I can get for you?
391
00:17:08,878 --> 00:17:11,113
You know, I think
we will order
392
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,715
That chocolate souffle
after all.
393
00:17:12,716 --> 00:17:14,817
Just a reminder, it will take
45 minutes to prepare.
394
00:17:14,818 --> 00:17:16,051
No, no, look.
395
00:17:16,052 --> 00:17:18,554
We need something
that's ready right now.
396
00:17:18,555 --> 00:17:21,790
Don't listen to him.
He's just being silly.
397
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:24,059
Okay.
One souffle coming up.
398
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,131
Want a taste?
399
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,765
Uh, no.
No strawberries.
400
00:17:30,766 --> 00:17:32,767
Okay, well,
401
00:17:32,768 --> 00:17:35,437
Since we have more time,
let me ask--
402
00:17:35,438 --> 00:17:39,073
If it wasn't my unitard that
caught your eye, what was it?
403
00:17:39,074 --> 00:17:40,908
And be specific.
404
00:17:40,909 --> 00:17:43,477
Look, I really
don't remember.
405
00:17:43,478 --> 00:17:44,712
Oh!
406
00:17:44,713 --> 00:17:46,914
Was it the time
I split my bike shorts
407
00:17:46,915 --> 00:17:49,183
And you could
see everything?
408
00:17:53,588 --> 00:17:56,324
Give me that.
409
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,963
I can't believe you.
You--you could have died!
410
00:18:02,964 --> 00:18:06,133
Worth it.
411
00:18:06,134 --> 00:18:08,335
Well,
I am proud of you
412
00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:10,237
For not saying anything
to hurt her feelings.
413
00:18:10,238 --> 00:18:12,339
Yeah, if you think
about it, I'm kind of a hero.
414
00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:15,309
I wouldn't go that far,
but I guess I do owe you one.
415
00:18:16,377 --> 00:18:17,678
I have some thoughts
416
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,746
On exactly how
you might repay me.
417
00:18:19,747 --> 00:18:22,949
Oh, really?
Here?
418
00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:27,821
I spent six minutes
watching her tap dance video.
419
00:18:27,822 --> 00:18:29,622
Yeah. Here.
420
00:18:34,662 --> 00:18:36,730
Hey.
421
00:18:36,731 --> 00:18:38,865
Ah,
why are you here, sir?
422
00:18:38,866 --> 00:18:41,434
Did you realize that
Timir rhymes with queer?
423
00:18:41,435 --> 00:18:44,404
No, but that's
extremely excellent.
424
00:18:44,405 --> 00:18:45,939
[laughs]
425
00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:48,408
No, uh, I'm here
for the park dedication.
426
00:18:48,409 --> 00:18:49,442
Really?
And why is that?
427
00:18:49,443 --> 00:18:51,177
Well, because I was wrong.
428
00:18:51,178 --> 00:18:53,046
You actually did
a decent, charitable thing
429
00:18:53,047 --> 00:18:54,614
Without any
selfish motivation.
430
00:18:54,615 --> 00:18:55,915
And I think
I understand
431
00:18:55,916 --> 00:18:57,550
What a good feeling
that gives a person.
432
00:18:57,551 --> 00:18:58,818
Really?
433
00:18:58,819 --> 00:18:59,986
Well, if that's
the case, sir,
434
00:18:59,987 --> 00:19:01,654
You too can experience
this rewarding feeling.
435
00:19:01,655 --> 00:19:03,222
It just means
a long-term commitment
436
00:19:03,223 --> 00:19:04,457
And many hours of hard work.
437
00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:06,392
Yeah, that's not
really my thing, so...
438
00:19:06,393 --> 00:19:07,660
I'm gonna get it now.
439
00:19:07,661 --> 00:19:10,162
Chief!
Let's light this candle.
440
00:19:13,066 --> 00:19:14,967
Welcome, everyone.
441
00:19:14,968 --> 00:19:18,070
Right now I'd like to
introduce you to a great man
442
00:19:18,071 --> 00:19:22,308
Whose generous
donation of $20,000
443
00:19:22,309 --> 00:19:23,776
Made all
of this possible.
444
00:19:23,777 --> 00:19:25,577
No.
No, you didn't.
445
00:19:25,578 --> 00:19:29,181
I kinda did.
446
00:19:29,182 --> 00:19:31,883
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Russell Dunbar!
447
00:19:31,884 --> 00:19:34,686
Oh! Thank you.
[applause]
448
00:19:34,687 --> 00:19:36,555
Aw, that's nice.
I appreciate it.
449
00:19:36,556 --> 00:19:38,690
That's great.
That's enough, that's enough.
450
00:19:38,691 --> 00:19:42,860
$20,000 is a lot.
Thank you.
451
00:19:42,861 --> 00:19:45,096
[applause]
452
00:19:45,097 --> 00:19:46,998
Mr. Dunbar, would you
do us the honor?
453
00:19:46,999 --> 00:19:48,333
Oh, okay.
454
00:19:48,334 --> 00:19:50,501
Look at that!
Hey, it's me!
455
00:19:50,502 --> 00:19:52,336
Can we
get a picture?
456
00:19:52,337 --> 00:19:55,605
Oh, wait.
This isn't right.
457
00:19:55,606 --> 00:19:57,541
Timmy.
Yes, sir?
458
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:58,976
Can you hand
me that hoe?
459
00:19:58,977 --> 00:20:03,348
[frustrated sigh]
Aw, come here, Timir.
460
00:20:03,349 --> 00:20:05,917
[laughing]
that's funny, right?
461
00:20:05,918 --> 00:20:08,254
[chuckling]
hey, let's say we get
462
00:20:08,255 --> 00:20:11,023
The other kind of
hos down here, huh?
463
00:20:11,024 --> 00:20:14,094
[chuckles] huh?
Who's with me?
464
00:20:20,216 --> 00:20:21,315
So how's
Jennifer's diet coming?
465
00:20:21,316 --> 00:20:23,317
Not good.
This morning I caught her
466
00:20:23,318 --> 00:20:26,387
Eating hot chocolate powder
with butter.
467
00:20:26,388 --> 00:20:28,122
Okay, well, I can't
take it anymore,
468
00:20:28,123 --> 00:20:29,156
So I came up with a plan.
469
00:20:29,157 --> 00:20:31,325
[chuckles]
uh-oh. This will be good.
470
00:20:31,326 --> 00:20:33,761
See, I adjusted
the scale ahead six pounds,
471
00:20:33,762 --> 00:20:35,362
So she'll think
she lost a little weight
472
00:20:35,363 --> 00:20:36,530
Even though she hasn't.
473
00:20:36,531 --> 00:20:39,199
You mean, you adjusted
it back six pounds.
474
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,702
No, it's forward,
'cause--
475
00:20:45,306 --> 00:20:46,773
Oh, no!
476
00:20:46,774 --> 00:20:50,277
[screams]
477
00:20:50,278 --> 00:20:52,145
[crying]
478
00:20:52,146 --> 00:20:56,182
479
00:20:56,232 --> 00:21:00,782
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