All language subtitles for Rules of Engagement s03e06 Timmy.eng

That's not what I said, Joe.

That's not what I said, Joe.

- Hey, Tanya.
- You know what your problem is? You don't listen.

I talk but it's like I'm not even there.
You know how that makes me feel?

Bad. Angry. Tanya!

Yeah, I gotta go.

Because some of us have
to work for a living.

Am I the only one getting
the irony around here?

My boyfriend and I are
having some problems.

Well, clearly it's not
affecting your work.

Oh, it is.

I just need you to confirm my lunch
reservation for tomorrow at la Maison.

Lunch at la Maison.

I don't see it on the calendar.

Tanya, I asked you to do it
last Thursday. Remember?

I told you it was for an important new client
who specifically requested that restaurant.

Last Thursday. That was a bad day.

Can you just call now and
try to get me a table?

On one day's notice? Good luck.

That place takes forever
to get a reservation.

I know! That's why I asked
you to do it last Thursday.

Okay, cool your jets. I'll call.

Oh.

What do you want now, Joe?

- Hold on. Mind if I take a break.
- From what?

Yeah, I can talk.

Now, don't say that about her, Joe.

- Hey, what are you doing here?
- I called. Didn't Tanya give you the message?

Oh, I'm not sure. Was the message
that's not what I said, Joe.

Anyway, I had a meeting in the neighborhood.
I thought I'd take you to dinner.

You know, every once in a while I
remembered why I married you.

But tomorrow night,

I don't want you anywhere
near the apartment.

Then I forget again.

Why am I barred from my own home?

Uh, it's the playoffs. Giants-
cowboys, same as last year.

You worked late that night. I bought a
meatball sub at the deli down the block.

Watched the game, Giants won. Gotta
repeat the exact same strategy.

That's not a strategy, babe.
That's just a crazy superstion.

Crazier than putting on your lucky
thong before you weigh yourself?

I don't have a...

how did you know about...

What time is your game over?

Call me at 11:00. But if I don't
pick up, give it another hour.

If I still don't pick up, get a hotel.

3x06 "Poaching Timmy"

www.addic7ed.com

Come on, it's fun.

No, I'm never gonna do
that, so stop asking me.

Booze plus time.

She'll do it.

- You don't even know what
they're talking about. - It's just good general advice.

My parents got us a tent,
but Jen refuses to go camping.

It was a big part of my childhood,
and I want to share it with her.

Camping seems like a
waste of booze and time.

No, it's... it's really romantic.

Look, I don't want to be any place
where I'm gonna hear someone say,

"just go behind a tree and use a leaf."

You can totally use toilet paper. You
just have to bury it when you're done.

If that doesn't get you in the mood.

I'm sorry, honey. It's just not my thing.

Is this about your crazy fear of bears?

Yes, it's insane to be afraid of a
ten-foot tower of teeth and claws.

Oh, that reminds me. Your mother called.

9:30... meet with board of directors,

1:00... lunch with CEO,

and 3:15... foot massage with Nadia.

Okay, now Nadia understands that
by foot massage we really mean...

Yes, it was explained.

Hey, hey, look who's here.
It's uncool and the gang.

Good one, sir. Good one.

Yeah, it hurts to get
insulted by Ebony and STD.

Snappy riposte, sir.

Now moving on. Brenda called again.
Would you like to return?

Uh, yeah, back to the time before I
met that whack job. What else?

You dinner at la Maison tonight
has been confirmed as well.

You got him into la Maison?

I can't believe it.

Why, is there a height requirement?

Yeah, you gotta be under eight feet.

Tanya, it's Audrey.

Keep trying to get me into la Maison.

And by the way, I'm still waiting for directions
to the photo shoot at Beekman studios in Brooklyn.

I need them asap.

I heard la Maison is fantastic but
impossible to get a reservation.

You know what's fantastic that
you don't need a reservation for?

Camping.

It's amazing people aren't lining up

to get zipped into a canvas bag
and peed on by raccoons.

Oh, hey, look at that. Tanya just
sent me directions to the shoot.

Actually, Mrs. Bingham, that was me.

You?

Yes, I mapquested the studio and
forwarded the information on to you.

- Timmy, that's so nice. Thank you.
- My absolute pleasure.

Oh, Russell is a lucky guy. How
long have you been with him?

It'll be two months tomorrow.

I remember because he just received
his bi-monthly issue of rumpmagazine.

Well, if you ever want to sort mail that doesn't
come in a plain brown wrapper, give me a call.

I may just take you up on that offer.

Really? Well, you know where to find me.

I surely do.

God, you two. Get an office.

You are asking a lot of that drawstring.

I gotta wear the same thing I wore
last year. These are my giants sweats,

which you obviously shrunk.

No, that is your giant ass

which you obviously grew.

Come on, you don't really believe this stuff has
anything to do with them actually winning, do you?

Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. I'm
not risking the big game to find out.

Is that new right there?

Yeah, I just bought it yesterday.

Okay, if it wasn't here last
year, then it's not invited.

- Jeff...
- Audrey, I don't make the rules.

Plant out, bobblehead...

In.

Oh, my God. Timmy got me lunch
reservations at la Maison.

He is amazing.

- What are you doing?
- Texting him back.

"If you ever get tired
of Russell, call me."

"Well, I just might."

"Well, you know where to find me."

I didn't do that.

You're playing with fire.
Timmy's with Russell,

so don't be getting all gooey about him.

That's ridiculous. I'm not getting gooey.

Oh, Timmy! He got me a
table by the window.

And he sent one of those smiley
faces that, you know, wink.

You better watch it. There's
certain lines we don't cross.

You're an adult, so act like one.

Good morning, Mr. Dunbar. I set
up a 10:30 conference call...

Nah, cancel. What else?

A noon stockholders meeting...

Uh, pass.

- What else?
- Sir, Brenda called again.

Ugh, didn't you tell her how busy I am?

All right, I think it's time for the
old habitat for humanity story.

What countries have I already helped?

Well, you have rebuilt
most of south America

and for some reason you
visited Namibia three times.

Yeah, Brad and Anjelina
made that place cool.

But once Shiloh came along,
we were over that mud hole.

Sir, just offering a thought.

Wouldn't it be better
to tell Brenda the truth.

Oh, sweet Timmy.

I'm gonna give you a scenario. What
if I'm drunk one night and it's late,

I don't feel like trying.

I call Brenda.

Hey, I just got back from impoverished,

war-torn...

Sierra Leone.

No, a country.

Um, also I know it's taken a while,

but I have finally finished
the Waterman report.

Oh, I cancelled that, like, a week ago.

You never told me that, sir.

I worked three weekends in a row
because I thought you need it today.

Well, maybe that's why you forgot I
scratched it, because you're exhausted.

I didn't forget. You forgot to tell me!

Well, listen, we can
spend all day arguing over

who worked on it a month
and who cancelled it,

but I guess we'll never know.

What bridge, Joe?

What bridge, Joe?

Joe, what bridge?

I know you know what that ringing is.
I've seen you react to it before.

He's threatening to jump. What do
you want me to do, put him on hold?

Verrazano?

Why would you go all the way to the Verrazano
when the Brooklyn bridge is right down the street.

You always have to do
everything the hard way.

Audrey Bingham.

Mrs. Bingham,

it's Timmy.

Can you meet me tonight after work?

- Oh, I hit my shin again.
- Okay, okay, we're almost there.

Can I just please take
this stupid blindfold off?

No, not yet. It's a surprise.

whether I'm bleeding or not.

Just assume you are. Now
let's focus on my surise.

And... Here we are. You ready?

You gonna push me off the
roof? At this point, yes.

Oh, my God.

You see? You see, this
is how great camping can be.

We got our cozy tent secured
to a satellite dish,

just how the settlers used to do.

Big comfy air mattress.

Bathroom right downstairs.

No bugs and absolutely no bears.

It's beautiful.

Okay, well, have a seat.

Because dinner is served.

I can't believe you did all this.

Well I wanted you to see
how romantic camping is.

You know, with the stars

and the moon, just you and me.

And the beauty of nature.

Voila!

Ah! Get 'em off!

How many?

- There used to be a deli here.
- No more.

How many?

Well, now I need to get a meatball sub
from the same deli I bought one last year.

Deli gone.

Oh, no, this is not good.

Yes, good. Very good.

Dan Rather eat here.

Do I get my pregame meal from the same place
as last year if it's not the exact same thing,

or do I get the same meal as last
year but from a different place?

You buy here.

Can you make something close
to an Italian meatball sandwich?

- Are you sure? This is very important.
- Yeah, yeah, we make!

One meatball submarine sandwich to go.

You want soy sauce and hot mustard?

No, what I would like is,
uh, tomato sauce and cheese.

Yeah, yeah, duck sauce.

Yes, sir?

You wanna tell me what's going on?

I... I'm not sure I understand.

I think you do.

I trusted you, Timmy. How
could you do this to me?

Well, Mr. Dunbar...

- how could you forget to call Brenda?
- Brenda, you say?

Yeah, she nabbed me on the cell phone.

She had no idea I was out building homes

for the poor people of

pooristan.

Pooristan, sir?

Yeah, 'cause you didn't call her and
give her the name of a real country.

Luckily, I don't think she caught it.
She's not exactly Google earth.

Yes, terribly sorry for the mix-up, sir.

- Won't ever happen again.
- Hold on.

It's not like you to mix things up.

Oh, you're not still mad about
this Waterman report, are you?

No, sir. I'm fine. It's... it's all fine, really.

- Okay. Must be off now.
- Okay, okay.

Hey, Brenda.

Oh, you looked it up, did you?

I'm sorry again about dinner.

- Stupid birds.
- It's okay.

- Are you feeling better?
- Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

I just kind of freaked out when
that one got caught in my hair.

It was really stuck.

Maybe it's time to ease
up on the hair gel.

Well, I don't want to overreact.

Look, I just wanted everything
to go perfect tonight,

you know, so you'd be into
going camping with me for real.

You know,

I will go actual camping with you.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

And when we do, I promise to protect you from
birds as long as you protect me from bears.

I will. I will protect you
from bears, Mountain lions...

Ther... there's Mountain lions?

No. Hey, you guys order a pizza?

So what, we got pepperoni and mushroom?

Think so? Let's take a peak.

Don't open that box!

All right. Pennants, check. Bobblehead...

Check.

Meatball sub, huh?

Ah, why I buy there?

All right, game time.

Oh, come on!

Good night, Tanya.

Oh, I got you that lunch
reservation at la Maison.

10:45 Christmas day. Do
you mind eating at the bar?

Uh, I took the client there
today. Someone else got me in.

Well, you might've told me.

By the way, I talked Joe down from
the bridge. Thanks for asking.

Joe? It... it's me.

What... what did you do to the tv?

I don't have time for this, Jeff. Just tell me
what I said last year. Let's get this over with.

No, this isn't part of that.

- I just turned it on. There's no picture.
- I didn't do anything.

Maybe there's a problem with
the satellite dish. I gotta go.

It's really coming down out there.

Yes, I'm sorry. I tried to park as
close to your office as I could.

No, no, it's fine. It's fine.
I'm glad you called.

I almost didn't come.

- I think Russell suspects something.
- Why?

Oh, it's a feeling.

I know him so well.

He doesn't deserve you, Timmy.
You're too good for him.

I wish I could've made a clean break
before starting with someone new.

It wouldn't feel so dirty.

You have nothing to feel guilty about.

He takes you for granted.
He doesn't care about you.

With me, you'd blossom.

Oh, there is so much I'd let you do.

And believe me, I want to do it,
Audrey. I want to do it all.

What about you and Tanya?

Oh, that's been over for months.

I just...didn't have
the heart to tell her.

We're going to hurt a
lot of people, Audrey.

Look, we have to think of ourselves.

Why don't we go upstairs.

We'd be more comfortable there.

If I go up there with you,
there is no turning back.

I know.

All right.

- Just, uh, be gentle.
- What?

With the door handle. It's broken.

Oh, dear me, it's a text from Russell.

Oh, it just read "Waterman
report, great job,

we can use it on the next project."

Oh, my goodness, he actually read it.

Too little too late, Timmy. Be strong.

Yes, quite right.

"And happy two month-iversary."

He rembered. Damn it.

Don't throw away your
one chance at happiness.

- Oh, for God's sake, Timmy. Look at me.
- Audrey, I...

You're never going to leave him, are you?

I'm so sorry.

- Look, Audrey, I think you're...
- No, don't.

- There's nothing to say. Let's just...
- Right, okay.

It's fine.

Well, looks like the rain's letting up.

Goodbye, Audrey.

I want you to know I'll never forget you.

You'll see me tomorrow at the diner.

Oh, God! Oh, God, it's a bear!

Ah! It's a bear! It's a bear!

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