All language subtitles for Roseanne s01e05 Radio Days.eng

Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org

i just wanna see that lumber first
thing tomorrow morning, period.

period.

vroom, vroom!

d.j., please don't drive
your truck on my blueprints.

vroom, vroom!
vroom-vroom-vroom-vroom-vroom.

i can't believe they shortened
me 25 pieces of lumber.

may they rot in hell.

i got the receipt.

i got something
that'll cheer you up.

oh, yeah,
you got 25 two-by-fours?

yeah, and you know what else i got?

this official entry blank

for that radio station's
country-western songwriting contest.

- so?
- so.

i ain't entering
no contest.

come on, you should do it. it'd be a hoot.

you're the writer in the family. you do it.

well, i don't got
no musical talent.

you're the one with the trunkful
of songs out in the garage.

honey, i wrote
that stuff years ago.

you ought to dig one out
and just send it in.

huh-uh. no way.

come on, you're really good at it.

no, no contest
for this cowboy.

oh, dan...

what- what could you win?

what difference does it make?
you're not gonna enter it anyway.

i'm just curious.

the first prize
is a hundred bucks,

plus you get to hear your
song played over the radio.

ah, i ain't got
no talent.

come on, you know you wanna do it.

it would be kind of nice
hearing one of my songs

played on the radio.

dan, you can no longer
deprive the world

of your special talent.

maybe you're right.

of course i'm right.

you need to cut it loose
and set it free.

do it for humanity.

bingo.

- what are you doing?
- getting something to eat.

your break
isn't for two minutes.

well, then, i'll go back
to work two minutes early.

sit down, harris.

sit down.

you know, you have
an attitude problem.

- i do?
- oh, yeah.

and i was thinking

that we should, uh, work on it
someplace outside of the workplace.

where would you suggest,
the back seat of your car?

no. no.

i was thinking more along
the lines of my apartment.

there is no way

that i'm gonna end up
a notch on your bedpost.

i'm not coming on to you.

you think i'm
coming on to you?

- it crossed my mind.
- no.

no, no. see, i'm-

i'm just trying to improve
employee-management relations.

- nice save, booker.
- thank you.

what's that?

looks like
a phone number.

let's work
on that attitude.

roseanne, what kind of song
is dan gonna enter?

he hadn't even
decided yet.

- i bet it'll be romantic.
- can't go wrong with a love song.

ah, love songs
are hokey.

i like something
i can dance to.

get down, sylvia.

- it's a country-western
station, right? - rOSEANNE: yeah.

then the song doesn't matter.
all that counts is the title.

sis, i guess you're
an expert on that, too, huh?

that happens
to be true.

look at the classic "take
this job and shove it."

- aLL: yeah.
- jACKIE: it's just the title.

you know what dan should really
try to write? a road song.

gosh, you're right.
i love road songs.

when that whiskey-voice guy starts
singing about highways and byways.

what exactly
is the difference

between a highway
and a byway?

a highway is
the main road, right?

and the byway
is the road

that runs right
along by it.

no. no,
that's an access road.

a byway is a road
that goes around something.

no, that's a bypass.

there is no difference between
a highway and a byway. okay?

i'm so glad
you figured that out.

maybe we can all get
some sleep tonight.

i'll tell you what people can't get enough of
- hardship songs.

you're right.

there's nothing like a hardship
song that set my toes to tappin'.

well, that's what all
the best songs are about.

pain, misery.
you know, real life.

my life.

my parents kicked me out
of the house when i was 16.

moved in with crazy aunt ina
and a houseful of cats.

married at 17,
widowed at 18.

tornado carried away my car.
hospitalized for pneumonia.

everybody sing.

mom.

the one and only.

where's dad?

he's out in the garage, honey,
struggling with the muses.

i need him to fix my truck.

- what happened to it?
- the wheel fell off.

give it to me.

you don't know
how to fix trucks.

i know how to do anything. i'm a mom.

dads are supposed
to fix trucks.

give me that.
go sit down here.

- bECKY: don't touch that.
- dARLENE: i didn't touch it.

mom, you hear that?

yeah, becky and darlene are at it again.

they're giving me
a headache.

me, too.

i've had it.

me, too.

they say they're gonna be
quiet, but they never are.

yeah, never.

never.

- you know what else?
- what?

they're always
in the bathroom.

they're horrible,
rotten girls.

what are we gonna
do with them?

kill 'em.

nah, then i'd just have
to clean up the mess.

i guess we're gonna have to live
with them until they move out.

yeah.

well, here you go.
one fixed truck.

thanks.

vroom!

bECKY:
just shut up, darlene.

dARLENE: it's half my room,
too, little miss perfect.

well, you can have both
halves for all i care.

what is your problem?

you're my problem,
you little slob.

- you used to be almost normal.
- yeah, until you were born.

knock it off.

i wish mom and dad had
left you at that hospital.

shut up, becky.

mom!

she's not here!

mother, i can't spend another
minute in the same room with her.

and whom, pray tell,
are we talking about?

mother, please, you know
who i'm talking about.

the pig.

here's your filthy,
disgusting pillow.

all you two have been doing
this whole week is fighting,

and i really
want it to stop now.

then talk to darlene.

she leaves
all her grungy stuff

all over my side
of the room.

what? i can't leave anything anywhere
without her going into convulsions.

there's only one way
to solve this problem.

give me that pillow.

and give me
that blanket, too.

now, turn around and
face each other here.

now, i want you two
to fight to the death.

mother.

go on, start ripping
each other apart,

limb from limb.

and whoever's left standing
gets to keep the room.

you know what
she's trying to do.

well, i do
have another plan.

i hate it
when she does this.

- go get the masking tape- - "put
a line down the center of the room."

"and stay on your side."
mom, that never works.

well, you make it work,
girls.

- fine, i'll get the tape.
- no, i'll get the tape.

- i'm getting the tape.
- i'll get the tape.

i'm getting my tubes tied.

look what i brought you.

oh, thanks, baby.
just put it down here.

this drill hasn't worked
since i bought it.

i thought you was
out here composing.

i tried a few things,
but, uh... i don't know,

i guess
i just wasn't inspired.

well, i'm here now.

and yet somehow
i'm still not inspired.

well, if you're not
gonna write no songs,

why don't you dig out
some of these to send in.

i already looked. there's
nothing in there worth sending.

don't give me that.

there's bound to be an
undiscovered masterpiece in here.

trust me,
they all suck mud.

face it, i'm a small-time contractor.
i ain't no big-time composer.

well, this is
no big-time contest.

- what is this?
- what?

give it to me.

it was, uh-
it was a dance hit.

in the seventies,
i guess.

yeah,
the lyrics weren't important.

i was really moved by it. i was
getting ready to give it to you.

oh! you wanna hear something
really bad?

- is it worse than that one?
- much worse. almost criminal.

i wrote this
when i was 19.

let me see.

blueberry fantasy,
tangerine dream...

oh, now i know why you can't
remember your teen years.

that marked the end
of my psychedelic period.

no, that's the one. you
ought to send that in.

let's just forget about the
contest and clean up this mess.

all right,
you're the boss.

i'm sorry, for a minute there, i
thought i heard you say i was the boss.

what's that?

that's nothing. it's just
something i was working on.

hey, let me hear it.

it doesn't really
have a tune yet.

- i wanna hear it anyway.
- well, i'm kind of rusty.

let's see.

- i like it.
- you don't recognize it, do you?

- huh-uh.
- no?

it's one of your poems.

gosh, that is. i can't believe you saved it.

yeah, i saved everything
you've ever written.

except for a few notes
on the refrigerator door.

that's so sweet.

- you like it?
- yeah.

well, it's half yours. maybe if
i goose it up a little bit here.

- that was beautiful.
- yeah?

- you like it?
- it's beautiful.

you think it's
good enough to enter?

i think it's
good enough to win.

- really?
- i really, really do.

then when
we go out on tour,

the kids ain't coming
with us, right?

right.

hey, roseanne,

i hear you and dan are gonna be
big country and western superstars.

go away, pete.

you really think you're gonna
win that contest tonight, huh?

yes, we're gonna
win that contest.

then we're gonna snag a great
big ol' recording contract.

then we're gonna pack up the
kids and move to nashville.

yee-haw!

then me and dan are gonna buy
these big platinum blonde wigs,

and then i'm gonna change all
the kids' middle names to bob.

becky bob,
darlene bob, d.j. bob.

well, i'm gonna be listening
to my radio tonight,

so that song
better be good.

go away, pete.

crystal, hand me
that thing there.

what? what's wrong?

- cockroach.
- where?

- there. kill it.
- you kill it.

- i ain't killing it.
- it's on your side.

come on, jackie,
do something.

there.

can we go back
to work now?

- rOSEANNE: booker.
- yeah.

i just killed a big ol' cockroach over here.

you better take him
off the payroll.

you're gonna do something
about these bugs?

yeah, i'll talk
to the exterminator.

aLL: whoo!

- get back to work, all right?
- okay.

all right, that's enough.

harris, i wanna see you
in my office.

now.

aLL: ooh!

sis, take the wrench.

let's go. come on.

what do you think
you're doing?

- you call that fun, fun?
- why are you getting so serious?

this is a very
serious matter.

stuff like that could lead
to the unemployment line.

you'd quit over that?

- not me, you.
- what would i write down as my reason for dismissal?

uncontrollable lust.

booker, you're right.
the dam is crumbling.

i can't fight it
any longer.

- you're gonna have to try.
- i'm a spontaneous person.

- i just get these impulses.
- i like impulses.

- bring 'em to my apartment.
- what am i gonna do about these impulses right now?

you're gonna have
to control yourself.

- i am the boss.
- and i respect that.

i'm the top guy.

what happened out there
will never happen again.

i am glad that we have
that understanding.

roseanne, booker
gave me his phone number.

program's getting
ready to start.

- i popped you some corn.
- oh, good.

i'm kind of nervous.
how about you?

oh, my spurs
are shakin' here.

i know this contest
ain't a big deal,

but it's kind
of a big deal.

ah, my love,

soon our music career
will skyrocket.

- i'm gonna have to dig up some more poems.
- what for?

- 'cause we need something for the flip side.
- oh, yeah.

mom, tell her to get
out of my chair.

dARLENE: mom, tell her i was here first.

mom, tell her she's lying.

d.j., tell your sisters
to shut up.

shut up.

rOSEANNE:
thank you, honey.

eVENIN', EVERYBODY.

- tHIS IS bILL.
- aND THIS IS dAVE.

- aND THIS IS...
- dAVE AND bILL: " tHE bILL AND dAVE sHOW."

well, this is it.

mom, tell her
i had this chair first.

- she did not.
- d.j.?

shut up.

bILL: bEFORE WE ANNOUNCE
THE WINNER

OF wlfe'S
SONGWRITING CONTEST,

dAVE AND i WANNA THANK
ALL OF YOU WHO ENTERED.

yEAH, BOY, THE RESPONSE
WAS OVERWHELMING.

wE NEVER EXPECTED ANYTHING
QUITE LIKE THIS.

wE HAD A GRAND TOTAL
OF FOUR ENTRIES.

- four?
- i like the odds.

- yeah.
- yOU THINK THAT WOULD MAKE OUR JOB EASY,

BUT WITH FOUR ENTRIES
AND ONLY THREE PRIZES,

i CAN TELL YOU
IT WAS TOUGH.

- just tell us who won.
- dAVE, LET'S GET TO IT AND ANNOUNCE THOSE WINNERS.

yes!

tHE THIRD-PLACE WINNER,
WINNER OF TWO TICKETS

TO THE lANFORD aNNUAL
tRACTOR pULL

IS fRAMPTON nEWHOUSE.

- all right!
- one down, two to go.

did you win yet?

- not yet.
- shh.

tHE SECOND-PRIZE WINNER,

WINNER OF AN EVENING FOR TWO
AT THE lANFORD iNN IS...

i'm so nervous
i can't stand it.

dORIS fISHER.

aND THE GRAND-PRIZE WINNER,

WINNER OF ALL 100
OF THOSE DOLLARS IS...

A SONGWRITING TEAM
RIGHT HERE IN lANFORD.

fRANK hALE
AND tOBY cUTLER.

- who?
- cONGRATULATIONS, fRANK AND tOBE,

FOR THEIR SURE-TO-BE-A-CLASSIC
TUNE, "dAISIES IN THE wIND."

- i guess that's it.
- i guess so.

- when are they gonna play your song?
- they're not.

they didn't like
our song.

- you mean, you didn't win?
- dAN: afraid not, buddy.

oh, you guys
should've won.

yeah,
your song was the best.

- thanks.
- those radio guys are creeps.

yeah, let's go down
and soap their windows.

yeah, and we can let the air
out of their tires.

and set off smoke bombs.

oh, you do me proud.

how are you doing, partner?

fourth place, partner.
nothing. zero. zip.

we are pathetic.

let us hang
our heads in shame.

how do you
explain to people

that your song
wasn't good enough

to win two tickets to the
annual lanford tractor pull?

you don't.
you move out of state.

montana's nice.

and i hear they have
very little radio there.

mom, dad, we're
really sorry you lost.

well, we didn't
really lose.

the only people that really ever
lose are people who never try.

at least we tried.

and got crushed.

oh, stop.

- we're never gonna hear your song.
- why don't you sing it for us.

dare you?

well, shuckins, kids.
why not?

gather 'round, young'uns.

pa's gonna sing us
a little ditty.

whoo!

yay!

- mmm.
- hey, mom, here's one of your early earrings.

oh, wow.
peace, love, and sisterhood.

can't find the other one.

i know, i lost it
at a protest march.

you were in a protest march?

your mother was at
all of the protest marches.

what were you protesting?

oh, the usual-
war, violence,

mass communications.

this is neat.

that's a mood ring
i bought your mom.

yeah, back when i was
in a good mood.

can i have it?

- well...
- can i have this earring?

well, my daughters,

since you have not maimed,
killed, or abused each other

in the last 24 hours,

i will bestow
these gifts on you

as a token of my gratitude.

- thanks, mom.
- yeah, thanks.

dan, why do we keep
all of this junk?

maybe we should
throw it out.

you can't throw this stuff
out. this is our life.

yeah.

i think
we're in big trouble.

Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0