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1
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You are not going to believe this.
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00:00:05,089 --> 00:00:06,589
"Dear ex-girlfriends,
3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,153
you are invited to a trash 'n' treasures
party Saturday night.
4
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,278
Love, Ben."
5
00:00:11,934 --> 00:00:15,848
He cares about me enough
to use me to get him laid!
6
00:00:16,744 --> 00:00:19,015
Isn't that one of those parties
where you bring an ex
7
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:21,917
- and hope to meet someone else's?
- It's basically saying
8
00:00:22,042 --> 00:00:25,941
"I've grown to find this one repulsive,
but they'd be perfect for you."
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00:00:26,770 --> 00:00:27,902
- Pathetic.
- Yes.
10
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:28,986
We should go.
11
00:00:31,188 --> 00:00:33,532
Come on.
It's like a yard sale for booty.
12
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:38,165
I have got way too much going on
right now to go to some party
13
00:00:38,290 --> 00:00:40,521
with Ben and his exes.
14
00:00:42,963 --> 00:00:45,961
Exactly. You have David.
Have you decided to go for it?
15
00:00:47,020 --> 00:00:48,964
It's a little weird.
I work for him.
16
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:51,423
- So do you want Mark?
- I don't know.
17
00:00:51,548 --> 00:00:53,344
He's been all weird too.
I live with him.
18
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:57,932
If we get together and it doesn't
work out, it's weird forever.
19
00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:01,268
While you're waiting, you can come
to the party. I need a wing woman.
20
00:01:01,847 --> 00:01:04,051
Hot guys come over,
you're my sexy friend.
21
00:01:04,176 --> 00:01:07,608
When dorks come over,
you're my angry cop life partner.
22
00:01:10,477 --> 00:01:11,862
How can I say no to that?
23
00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:15,825
- Say no to what?
- Trash 'n' treasures party Saturday.
24
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:19,203
So line up your exes. If you even
bothered to learn any of their names.
25
00:01:19,755 --> 00:01:22,757
What the hell.
I'm not against a little recycling.
26
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,377
- What about you, Mark?
- Me?
27
00:01:27,642 --> 00:01:31,173
What's wrong? Don't have any exes?
Remember, cousins don't count.
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00:01:32,839 --> 00:01:35,177
Please, I have plenty.
I'm totally in.
29
00:01:35,422 --> 00:01:39,306
- Who are you thinking about bringing?
- Lots of people.
30
00:01:40,469 --> 00:01:42,226
Did you ever have
a serious girlfriend?
31
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And several silly ones.
32
00:01:47,827 --> 00:01:49,650
Let's talk about who I should bring.
33
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,810
What about Ian?
34
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:56,929
- I was thinking about bringing Russell.
- Gay Russell?
35
00:01:58,175 --> 00:02:00,411
The guy you broke up
with because he's gay Russell?
36
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,774
- You were devastated.
- I know,
37
00:02:03,899 --> 00:02:06,144
but then I realized
it had nothing to do with me.
38
00:02:06,269 --> 00:02:09,170
He's biologically programmed
not to want all of this stuff.
39
00:02:38,879 --> 00:02:40,699
"Buenos dias, Thomas."
40
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,704
You know that's not a parrot.
41
00:02:44,218 --> 00:02:45,333
Right, Mark.
42
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,438
Then how do they communicate?
43
00:02:47,830 --> 00:02:50,319
So look, they're having this
trash 'n' treasures party
44
00:02:50,444 --> 00:02:52,463
at a bar,
and I have to invite an ex.
45
00:02:52,976 --> 00:02:55,699
- You're giving up on Katie?
- No, but I don't know
46
00:02:55,824 --> 00:02:59,309
what's going on with her.
It's possible that she's into David.
47
00:02:59,434 --> 00:03:03,025
If I make a move now and I fall
on my face, it could be weird forever.
48
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,934
Plus, I can't wait around forever.
49
00:03:05,424 --> 00:03:06,424
Word.
50
00:03:08,550 --> 00:03:10,437
You only have one ex,
and that's Jackie.
51
00:03:10,562 --> 00:03:12,828
You have to invite her.
What's your other choice?
52
00:03:12,953 --> 00:03:15,877
Show up alone and be mocked?
Which is fun for a while,
53
00:03:16,002 --> 00:03:17,696
but then it gets old.
54
00:03:18,163 --> 00:03:21,242
- There has to be somebody else.
- No, just Jackie.
55
00:03:21,691 --> 00:03:24,578
I don't blame her for dumping you.
You were a terrible boyfriend.
56
00:03:25,328 --> 00:03:26,539
I was a great boyfriend.
57
00:03:26,830 --> 00:03:28,767
You took a poem
for Katie in high school,
58
00:03:28,892 --> 00:03:31,585
you were too chicken to give to her,
and you gave it to Jackie.
59
00:03:36,373 --> 00:03:38,259
Why haven't you called me?
60
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:41,349
Because, you know,
I don't have your number.
61
00:03:41,474 --> 00:03:42,763
Well, here's my card.
62
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,808
Has all my info on it.
I'm a life coach.
63
00:03:46,082 --> 00:03:49,937
"I teach you how to take life's crap
and make crap-ade."
64
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,125
It's catchy.
65
00:03:53,806 --> 00:03:56,235
Man, I wish I could go
to this party with you.
66
00:03:56,466 --> 00:03:58,189
What party?
I love parties.
67
00:03:58,314 --> 00:04:00,906
Darn it. You can only come
if you're somebody's ex.
68
00:04:01,982 --> 00:04:02,982
I see.
69
00:04:07,223 --> 00:04:09,358
You are a delightful
boyfriend, Thom.
70
00:04:10,027 --> 00:04:12,578
Is this another girl's hair?
How could you?
71
00:04:16,722 --> 00:04:19,562
I guess you're my ex now.
See you at the party.
72
00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:36,599
- You look great.
- Thanks. So do you.
73
00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:38,485
You know what's funny?
We were just...
74
00:04:40,384 --> 00:04:41,384
Tammy!
75
00:04:43,589 --> 00:04:45,701
Tammy.
What kind of stripper name is Tammy?
76
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,874
I can't wait to see Jackie.
So, James, who did you invite?
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00:04:52,405 --> 00:04:55,711
The drunkest, loosest, hottest girl
I have ever known.
78
00:04:56,906 --> 00:04:58,462
Does she have a grandma?
79
00:05:01,288 --> 00:05:02,885
I love old drunk ladies.
80
00:05:05,530 --> 00:05:06,931
So, Mark, is that your ex?
81
00:05:07,767 --> 00:05:09,130
That's my ex.
82
00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:12,271
- She is gorgeous.
- Damn.
83
00:05:12,763 --> 00:05:15,022
She's talking to another guy.
84
00:05:15,628 --> 00:05:17,736
Relax, it's just gay Russell.
85
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,872
Of course he's gay,
he's really cute.
86
00:05:25,397 --> 00:05:27,501
Mark, Thom and I got back together.
87
00:05:28,483 --> 00:05:30,829
So, Mark, are you in a jealous rage?
88
00:05:32,127 --> 00:05:33,374
Not really, no.
89
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,765
Well, you will be.
90
00:05:38,102 --> 00:05:40,301
She has it bad for the Markinator.
91
00:05:41,667 --> 00:05:43,634
I just can't turn this off.
92
00:05:47,670 --> 00:05:49,264
So here we are
93
00:05:50,747 --> 00:05:53,185
- Hanging out.
- Hanging hanging.
94
00:05:53,618 --> 00:05:55,118
Hanging and banging.
95
00:05:56,684 --> 00:05:58,560
Not banging, just hanging.
96
00:06:01,002 --> 00:06:03,278
Jackie, hi.
You made it.
97
00:06:04,844 --> 00:06:07,408
You look amazing.
I almost didn't recognize you.
98
00:06:11,396 --> 00:06:14,935
- Well I'll just I'll be over.
- Sorry, Jackie,
99
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:18,168
this is my roommate Katie.
Katie, Jackie.
100
00:06:19,271 --> 00:06:20,608
Wait.
"Roommate Katie".
101
00:06:20,733 --> 00:06:23,090
You live with the same Katie
you went to high school with?
102
00:06:23,788 --> 00:06:25,534
You talked about me?
103
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,876
I talk about all of you guys.
104
00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:33,267
You, James, Hope, Thom.
Thom's adopted bird.
105
00:06:36,469 --> 00:06:37,945
"Buenos dias, Thomas."
106
00:06:43,047 --> 00:06:45,833
I guess I better get out there,
you know, mingle.
107
00:06:45,958 --> 00:06:47,781
That's why we're here, right?
108
00:06:48,094 --> 00:06:51,458
- I think I'm gonna catch up with Mark.
- Of course.
109
00:06:51,914 --> 00:06:54,872
Me, I'm off to find
some treasure out there.
110
00:06:55,426 --> 00:06:57,875
Them's the rules. Don't make them,
ain't gonna break them.
111
00:07:00,719 --> 00:07:03,172
Can't find treasure
sitting on your ass.
112
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:13,467
- I don't believe how fantastic you are.
- It's probably 'cause I'm sober.
113
00:07:14,150 --> 00:07:17,061
Start drinking for God's sakes so I can
look as good to you as you do to me.
114
00:07:18,469 --> 00:07:20,689
No, I mean, I'm sober
as in I don't drink anymore.
115
00:07:24,349 --> 00:07:26,028
What do you do for fun now?
116
00:07:26,806 --> 00:07:28,002
Hopefully you.
117
00:07:32,596 --> 00:07:34,571
Katie, I just love this bag!
118
00:07:34,906 --> 00:07:36,955
Balenciaga...
Knock-off.
119
00:07:37,463 --> 00:07:38,890
Get out!
Girl, did you know
120
00:07:39,015 --> 00:07:42,318
- this is a knock-off?
- OK. Stop talking about purses.
121
00:07:42,443 --> 00:07:44,713
I like that guy.
Take your hot bod over there,
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00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,799
distract the girl,
while I come on to him.
123
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,440
OK, distracting.
124
00:07:50,959 --> 00:07:52,325
Look at those two.
125
00:07:53,842 --> 00:07:57,404
Mark's ex doesn't understand the rules
of the trash 'n' treasure party.
126
00:07:57,529 --> 00:08:00,404
She's supposed to be looking for trash,
but is she doing that? No.
127
00:08:00,529 --> 00:08:02,106
She's hanging on his every word.
128
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,096
- So are you jealous?
- No.
129
00:08:05,147 --> 00:08:07,167
I'm just a stickler for the rules.
130
00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:11,532
Look, Ben's over there ignoring me,
picking up girls left and right.
131
00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:13,867
He knows how it's done.
132
00:08:14,518 --> 00:08:16,078
So isn't the ninth step
133
00:08:16,307 --> 00:08:18,435
of the AA Program
that you have to make love
134
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,415
to all the people
you've hurt in the past?
135
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:25,587
- That's make amends.
- Yeah, whatever you wanna call it.
136
00:08:27,910 --> 00:08:29,978
Hold one sec.
What's up?
137
00:08:31,183 --> 00:08:32,083
Oh, man.
138
00:08:33,989 --> 00:08:36,271
I have to take this outside.
I'll be right back.
139
00:08:36,396 --> 00:08:37,766
Don't go anywhere.
140
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,209
And then after all that,
141
00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:44,606
I officially became
a real astronomer.
142
00:08:44,914 --> 00:08:46,415
That is so cool.
143
00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:49,736
So, question:
what's going on with the sun?
144
00:08:51,577 --> 00:08:54,834
Is it really gonna blow up and rain down
balls of fire by ending civilization
145
00:08:54,959 --> 00:08:57,411
- as we know it?
- Yeah. Tuesday.
146
00:09:01,918 --> 00:09:05,432
- Hello.
- James, this is Graham, my son.
147
00:09:06,564 --> 00:09:09,173
A son.
You have a son.
148
00:09:11,086 --> 00:09:14,072
I was just about to tell you
about him, when boom.
149
00:09:14,197 --> 00:09:17,347
- Here he is.
- Nice to meet you Graham.
150
00:09:18,017 --> 00:09:20,547
My brother was watching him,
but he got called in to work,
151
00:09:20,672 --> 00:09:23,353
so sorry but it looks like
we're gonna have to call it a night.
152
00:09:23,639 --> 00:09:25,173
No, no. Nonsense.
153
00:09:25,754 --> 00:09:27,399
- You hungry, pal?
- Yeah.
154
00:09:27,685 --> 00:09:30,263
- Really? You sure?
- Yeah, totally.
155
00:09:31,675 --> 00:09:33,365
I'm gonna grab you
something, sweetie.
156
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:36,033
Thank you so much.
I don't get many nights off anymore.
157
00:09:38,687 --> 00:09:41,055
Max tooted in my face.
158
00:09:44,232 --> 00:09:46,293
I'll tell you a secret.
Last night,
159
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,295
my roommate Mark fell asleep,
160
00:09:48,572 --> 00:09:50,240
and I tooted in his face.
161
00:09:53,741 --> 00:09:55,652
I wonder
what that kid's laughing at.
162
00:09:57,869 --> 00:09:59,712
- There you go.
- Thank you.
163
00:10:00,317 --> 00:10:01,558
To old friends reuniting.
164
00:10:05,493 --> 00:10:08,232
It's weird, but I was thinking about you
right before you called me.
165
00:10:08,877 --> 00:10:12,319
I know, I was thinking about you
right before I called too.
166
00:10:13,201 --> 00:10:16,573
What am I even doing?
Look at Mark. He's clearly not into me.
167
00:10:17,165 --> 00:10:18,533
Sure doesn't look like it.
168
00:10:18,903 --> 00:10:21,202
And I'm at some bar
while I have David Shick,
169
00:10:21,327 --> 00:10:23,168
handsome, successful,
170
00:10:23,293 --> 00:10:26,333
doting on me at work, just sitting there
waiting for me to make up my mind.
171
00:10:26,613 --> 00:10:30,083
- Why don't you go talk to him?
- You know what? I think I will.
172
00:10:37,573 --> 00:10:39,263
I am really glad you called me.
173
00:10:39,548 --> 00:10:41,473
I was curious
about what you turned into.
174
00:10:42,698 --> 00:10:45,193
I can also show you where I live,
if you want.
175
00:10:45,318 --> 00:10:47,521
I'm just trying to help you out.
176
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,565
You're curious, I have information.
We make a great team.
177
00:10:52,313 --> 00:10:53,346
Love to.
178
00:11:03,281 --> 00:11:06,030
You know I'm just using you
to make Mark jealous?
179
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:09,913
I think now would be a good time
to really use me.
180
00:11:16,189 --> 00:11:18,802
- Who's this adorable guy?
- This is Graham.
181
00:11:19,386 --> 00:11:21,684
This is my ex Anna.
Anna this is Hope.
182
00:11:22,292 --> 00:11:23,890
Very nice to meet you.
183
00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:26,614
- Hi, lady.
- Hi, Graham.
184
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,103
You are so cute.
185
00:11:28,546 --> 00:11:31,315
I know.
I have lots of girlfriends.
186
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,986
Are you sure Graham's not yours?
187
00:11:39,171 --> 00:11:42,200
- Take care. Watch out for this one.
- Will do.
188
00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:52,919
- How old is Graham, exactly?
- He's six.
189
00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:57,635
Am I Graham's daddy?
190
00:11:58,988 --> 00:12:00,731
- No.
- Thank God.
191
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:04,806
He's a great kid.
You're a great kid, but thank God.
192
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,894
Mommy, I have to go poop real bad.
193
00:12:10,682 --> 00:12:14,657
- OK, sweetie, I'll take you.
- I wanna go to the boys' room with him.
194
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,559
- Would you mind?
- I'm just so relieved,
195
00:12:17,684 --> 00:12:19,737
I'll take him anywhere.
Ballgame, circus.
196
00:12:19,862 --> 00:12:22,085
Hell, I'll even pay for his college.
197
00:12:23,119 --> 00:12:25,443
Let's go fire that cannon,
little man.
198
00:12:31,823 --> 00:12:33,001
You haven't changed...
199
00:12:34,005 --> 00:12:36,341
Personalitywise.
Physically
200
00:12:36,466 --> 00:12:38,396
you were always cute but since then,
201
00:12:38,521 --> 00:12:41,718
it's like someone invented a hot stick
and smacked you around with it.
202
00:12:43,448 --> 00:12:46,098
Thank you.
You've changed some yourself.
203
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,059
- Really? In a good way?
- In a great way?
204
00:12:49,723 --> 00:12:51,186
Beer helps with that.
205
00:12:52,867 --> 00:12:55,008
Oh, my gosh.
Me in my drill team outfit.
206
00:12:55,133 --> 00:12:57,877
Oh, man.
Me in my mascot uniform.
207
00:12:58,935 --> 00:13:01,931
- Do you still have your horse head?
- Of course I have it.
208
00:13:02,056 --> 00:13:04,556
I earned that head.
I spent the first two years of college
209
00:13:04,681 --> 00:13:06,827
living in the ass end,
behind fat joey.
210
00:13:09,097 --> 00:13:11,957
The other night,
I had a dream he tooted in my face.
211
00:13:13,369 --> 00:13:15,419
Don't just sit there.
Go and get the head.
212
00:13:19,986 --> 00:13:21,405
I'm just gonna walk.
213
00:13:25,150 --> 00:13:27,639
- Can you ring David Shick, please?
- Does he know you're coming?
214
00:13:29,063 --> 00:13:32,519
The unannounced visitor.
Who should I say is calling?
215
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,022
Wait. Wait.
216
00:13:36,147 --> 00:13:38,253
You said "OK",
but you said it with a pause between
217
00:13:38,378 --> 00:13:41,194
the "O" and the "K", which say you think
this not be a good idea.
218
00:13:42,749 --> 00:13:45,449
Or it could just be
the way I say OK.
219
00:13:47,098 --> 00:13:48,910
All right. Go ahead.
220
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:51,663
Again.
221
00:13:52,886 --> 00:13:54,936
Why don't you tell me
when you're ready?
222
00:13:55,061 --> 00:13:58,253
I'm not going anywhere,
both literally and figuratively.
223
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:02,378
Sorry.
I'm not sure I should be doing this.
224
00:14:02,503 --> 00:14:05,802
It represents a crossing of a line
from which I am not sure I could return.
225
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:08,346
You'll never know
until you cross that line.
226
00:14:10,193 --> 00:14:11,475
I should cross the line?
227
00:14:11,867 --> 00:14:14,478
I don't have enough information
to make an informed decision.
228
00:14:15,887 --> 00:14:17,073
Damn it.
229
00:14:17,198 --> 00:14:19,191
I work for David, and I like him.
230
00:14:19,866 --> 00:14:22,237
I really do.
I don't know where I am with Mark.
231
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,886
He's off with some ex of his
who doesn't play by any
232
00:14:25,011 --> 00:14:26,406
rules I can see.
233
00:14:27,513 --> 00:14:29,825
I've been here since David moved in
and he's a good guy.
234
00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:32,037
I know for a fact
he's dying to settle down.
235
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,123
Call him.
236
00:14:35,913 --> 00:14:39,336
I haven't met this Mark.
He could be an nicer guy than David.
237
00:14:40,507 --> 00:14:42,172
You're confusing me more.
238
00:14:42,429 --> 00:14:43,757
I'm a doorman.
239
00:14:44,892 --> 00:14:47,219
Sorry.
It's kind of a big step.
240
00:14:48,142 --> 00:14:50,764
I mean, I work for him.
Did you ever date one you worked for?
241
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,689
- How did that work out?
- I'm a doorman.
242
00:15:09,146 --> 00:15:10,617
Stop singing.
Get on with it.
243
00:15:11,796 --> 00:15:13,550
Can you help me wipe?
244
00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:18,581
I don't do that.
245
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,160
Please?
246
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,965
My God, what happened?
247
00:15:31,979 --> 00:15:34,379
It kinda got away from me.
248
00:15:39,584 --> 00:15:42,107
Russell?
What are you doing?
249
00:15:44,197 --> 00:15:45,026
Kissing.
250
00:15:47,153 --> 00:15:49,406
Sorry, honey,
you're making out with a gay guy.
251
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,963
I've done that before.
He is not gay.
252
00:15:55,095 --> 00:15:56,204
I don't understand.
253
00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:58,537
I was just...
254
00:15:59,445 --> 00:16:01,183
Because she asked me to...
255
00:16:02,947 --> 00:16:04,172
All right, look.
256
00:16:08,316 --> 00:16:11,639
When we were in college,
I tried to break up a bunch of times,
257
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:14,556
but you were kinda...
258
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,850
- Spit it out, Russell!
- Nuts.
259
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,308
I just wasn't that into you,
260
00:16:20,433 --> 00:16:22,480
but you wouldn't take
no for an answer.
261
00:16:23,758 --> 00:16:24,566
We had...
262
00:16:25,143 --> 00:16:27,221
a big meeting
at the frat house where...
263
00:16:27,346 --> 00:16:28,977
guys pitched ideas
264
00:16:29,102 --> 00:16:31,286
on ways for me to break up with you.
265
00:16:32,488 --> 00:16:35,318
Me telling you I was gay
won by a nose
266
00:16:35,443 --> 00:16:38,663
over me actually becoming gay.
I'm sorry.
267
00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:41,310
Oh, my God.
268
00:16:41,818 --> 00:16:44,856
So it was me who you rejected
and not my entire gender.
269
00:16:44,981 --> 00:16:47,172
What the hell is up
with that, big Russ?
270
00:16:48,057 --> 00:16:50,091
See? This is kind of what
I was talking about.
271
00:16:50,796 --> 00:16:52,499
I had a perfect record before you.
272
00:16:52,624 --> 00:16:54,642
I always dumped a guy
before they dumped me.
273
00:16:54,767 --> 00:16:56,672
So this is how it's gonna go:
274
00:16:56,797 --> 00:16:58,642
I broke up with you.
Got it?
275
00:16:59,626 --> 00:17:00,626
Got it.
276
00:17:00,956 --> 00:17:02,145
You dumped me.
277
00:17:04,515 --> 00:17:06,489
I gotta tell you,
it feels pretty good not
278
00:17:06,614 --> 00:17:08,568
- having to live a lie anymore.
- Just go.
279
00:17:20,695 --> 00:17:22,582
See? I told you I still had it.
280
00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:25,251
Do you still remember
our mustang cheer?
281
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:26,419
Do I?
282
00:17:27,095 --> 00:17:28,254
No, I do not.
283
00:17:30,226 --> 00:17:32,042
This has been really great.
284
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:34,844
- Can I tell you a secret?
- Sure.
285
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,842
The secret is ever since college,
286
00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:40,225
I kinda thought of you
as my one who got away.
287
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,141
- I'm really glad you called me.
- Me too.
288
00:17:44,791 --> 00:17:47,774
I was a little nervous too,
but it's great to see you.
289
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,064
Go mustangs!
290
00:17:59,826 --> 00:18:02,983
- Brings back some memories.
- It does.
291
00:18:06,177 --> 00:18:08,926
You know what?
I have to go.
292
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,256
Is it because
I don't remember the cheer?
293
00:18:14,576 --> 00:18:15,635
I'll call you.
294
00:18:38,371 --> 00:18:41,112
- How did it go with gay Russell?
- He's not gay.
295
00:18:42,089 --> 00:18:44,038
He told me he was gay
to get rid of me.
296
00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:46,875
The old number four.
297
00:18:48,996 --> 00:18:51,629
When a girl was hard to shake,
we'd have a meeting at the frat house.
298
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:52,848
I get it.
299
00:18:53,894 --> 00:18:55,283
How did it go with Anna?
300
00:18:55,408 --> 00:18:58,450
After Anna's kid destroyed
the bathroom stall,
301
00:18:58,575 --> 00:19:00,400
the mood was kinda ruined.
302
00:19:01,192 --> 00:19:03,141
It was like
a Jackson Pollock in there.
303
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,842
On paper, the trash and treasures party
was a good idea,
304
00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:09,764
but I don't think
I'll be doing that again.
305
00:19:09,889 --> 00:19:12,150
No matter what,
things are weird with an ex.
306
00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:14,201
Right.
Really messy.
307
00:19:14,910 --> 00:19:17,197
That's why I never made
a move on you or Katie.
308
00:19:17,928 --> 00:19:19,783
What?
Are you kidding?
309
00:19:20,127 --> 00:19:22,127
We're roommates,
and I knew if I ever had sex
310
00:19:22,252 --> 00:19:24,204
with one of you or both of you
311
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,164
or probably both of you
at the same time.
312
00:19:28,580 --> 00:19:31,313
When I wanted to stop
which I definitely would.
313
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,463
You girls would never get over me.
314
00:19:33,871 --> 00:19:36,090
- I'm not so sure about that.
- I am.
315
00:19:36,689 --> 00:19:39,521
Did you ever think that maybe
it was you who couldn't get over us
316
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:42,055
after we tossed you aside
like yesterday's newspaper?
317
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,020
- That's what would happen.
- Right.
318
00:19:45,145 --> 00:19:46,584
- I'm right.
- So wrong.
319
00:19:46,709 --> 00:19:48,019
- You're wrong.
- Am I?
320
00:19:48,144 --> 00:19:49,760
- I think so.
- No, you are.
321
00:19:49,885 --> 00:19:51,445
- Shut up.
- Make me.
322
00:20:01,821 --> 00:20:03,167
What was that?
323
00:20:05,916 --> 00:20:07,862
Damn good kiss is what that was.
324
00:20:08,533 --> 00:20:09,590
I know.
325
00:20:09,715 --> 00:20:11,463
- But it was wrong.
- So wrong.
326
00:20:11,588 --> 00:20:14,212
- Cause we're roommates.
- Let's pretend this never happened.
327
00:20:20,482 --> 00:20:23,123
- Oh, my God.
- That was amazing.
328
00:20:23,603 --> 00:20:26,217
But we're roommates.
I think it's best if we just stop now.
329
00:20:26,342 --> 00:20:29,536
- Forget it happened and move on.
- To our second time?
330
00:20:40,028 --> 00:20:41,823
I had a really nice time with you.
331
00:20:42,646 --> 00:20:45,743
It's OK. You don't have
to pretend anymore. Mark isn't here.
332
00:20:47,399 --> 00:20:48,898
I know.
I mean it.
333
00:20:49,023 --> 00:20:51,249
It was really sweet
that you made out with me all night.
334
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,211
You're welcome.
335
00:20:55,203 --> 00:20:57,358
So you wanna take a bath?
336
00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:01,305
What kinda girl do you think I am?
337
00:21:06,885 --> 00:21:08,283
Buenos dias, Thomas.
338
00:21:10,457 --> 00:21:12,203
Jo-jo, you speak!
339
00:21:12,253 --> 00:21:16,803
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