All language subtitles for Roadies s01e07 Carpet Season.eng

[Milo] Previously on Roadies...

[Shelli] Kelly Ann? I
need you to take photos

at the VIP meet and greet.

You are invited to
leave the organization now.

Let me just talk to him.

[woman] Oh, God! Down! Down!

Hey.

Finger holds the key to our box set.

I'd like to officially
welcome our band archivist,

Mr. Michael Lewis Finger.

[Reg] Uh, So, Janine is here.

So, how is Janine?

She's great. She's fabulous.

Should we invite her to come tonight?

- Definitely not.
- I think she would love that.

[Christopher] You should
call and invite her.

[Reg] I will do that.

[Bill] But no backstage.

- Janine.
- Hi, Chris.

You're about to find out what it's like

on the other side of the
fence, what it's like to be used.

Why don't we table this, Janine, and...

Maybe it's time we tell your best friend

about the time that you
drove me home from Tulaggi's

and we fucked.

What is she talking about, Bill?

[Janine] I fucked his brains out, Chris,

because I knew it would hurt you.

[Bill] I'm from Oklahoma,

so I kind of grew up with Switzer.

He was kind of a cool coach too,

but, hey, go Huskies, man. Take it easy.

- Stay safe.
- [man] You too.

[crickets chirping]

Single car accident.

Just got to wait for it to clear out.

Go back to sleep.

I wasn't asleep.

Are there people in there?

No. The cops said when
they pulled up it was empty.

I've flipped a couple of cars.

I think they're probably okay.

Three nights ago, outside that
truck stop in Salt Lake,

I saw a crow eat a
Kentucky Fried Chicken leg.

- Bird cannibalism, huh?
- Yeah.

I didn't know that was a thing.

- Well, I got a picture of it.
- Oh.

Okay, you shouldn't be looking
at stuff like that.

Or like that.

Next truck stop, you just buy
a couple refrigerator magnets.

Something real cheerful, you know?

Do you ever think that
maybe this tour could be cursed?

I don't believe in that shit at all.

Yeah. Me neither.

I mean, if this tour were cursed,

why would the band be playing
better than ever?

Why would I have finally
found us a great new special guest,

after only four days of begging?

Huh? That ain't cursed.

Halsey.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

- Wes'll freak. He loves Halsey.
- Really?

[The Weepies' "World
Spins Madly On" playing]

Don't you sometimes feel
like there's so much rage

and pain out there

and we're just all on this
road, metaphorically...

In our case, an actual road...

Something's happening out there...

...we don't know what it is?

Had to be there.

[clears throat] Listen.

You got your whole
life out ahead of you.

I mean, after the wreck.

- Oh. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Just blue skies for you.

I'm not sure we broke all the eggs.

What?

[phone ringing]

Hey.

Wait a second. What?

Christopher... Christopher,
hold on a sec...

Hold on a second. What's going on?

You lost what?

[Bill] Is anybody else there?

I'll help you find it,

and we'll figure it out.

Okay?

Shit.

[camera shutter clicks]

[Bill] Hi. Bill. Alcoholic.

Um, I have two years in July.

Uh, last night,

I got a call from, um, my
boss and oldest friend,

who's, uh, been sober

for significantly longer than I have,

and he'd been drinking,

and, uh, so I figured I better
get myself on down to a meeting

and, uh, find a chair.

So, thank you.

Uh, I'm on the road a lot,

and, uh...

I'm a carpet salesman.

I sell carpet all over the country.

And, uh, I love carpet.

I've run away from, uh... [chuckles]

...pretty much
everything in my life except carpet,

because, uh,
carpet's really the only thing

that's ever given me any, uh...

real joy.

Except there's this woman,

and, uh, we sell carpet together.

She's married.

And nobody in the
carpet company knows about us.

Well, there's this Bob Dylan song

called "Property of Jesus,"

and it's off this album Shot of Love.

I highly recommend the whole album.

It's a real kind of unsung classic

if you like Bob.

But, yeah, in... in "Property
of Jesus," he sings,

"But you've picked up quite a story

and you've changed since the womb.

What happened to the real you?

You've been captured, but by whom?"

Now, I don't know what
happened to the real me.

And I don't know if we've ever even met.

But I know that
when I'm with this woman,

I feel like the version
of me I wanted to be

when I was ten years old

or 12 years old.

Could have been 14, but
you know what I mean.

Uh...

Yeah, it's wrong.

And it's not rigorous honesty,

and I feel like a thief.

But the question I keep asking myself

is, you know,

what if this is my one chance, you know?

What if this is my only shot

at true happiness?

You know, don't I have to grab it?

And if I don't,

what's gonna happen to me,

you know, when carpet season's over?

And it's her birthday today.

And I got nothing to give her.

And, uh...

That... that's all. Thank you.

Well, thank you for sharing, Bill.

I just want to say I've never in my life

heard anyone speak about
carpet like you just did.

I will never look at
carpeting the same way again.

Thank you.

Also, women love being asked,

"How's your day
going? Tell me everything."

You'd be surprised how few men

ever ask their lover that question.

Yeah?

[indistinct chatter and laughter]

Copy that.

And copy that. Thank you.

And I'll be praying for your friend.

Okay.

[Bill] That's what I said. Halsey!

[all cheering and applauding]

Also, as some of you may know,

the band is being photographed today

for the cover of Vanity Fair

by the great Abby Van Ness.

Oh, my God, she's amazing.

[Bill] Very lucky to have
her shooting the guys.

The photo area is directly backstage.

[all groan]

[Bill] Yeah, no, I know
it's a real pain in the ass, huh?

But you're gonna have to get over it.

Also, one more thing.

And this is very important, guys.

Christopher House's
iPad has gone missing,

and there are a bunch of new songs

that he's been working on on there,

so I'd very much appreciate if
you'd keep an eye out for it.

Let me know if you see or hear anything.

And last, but definitely not least,

this is a... This is a very special day,

um, very special day.

[mouthing words]

[chuckles]

We're, uh... we're in Seattle.

[Bill] You're breathing
some of the same air

that Mr. Jimi Hendrix breathed.

Also the great Quincy Jones, Kenny G...

- [laughter]
- Hey, don't laugh.

The man's garnered over 75 million

in global album sales.

[Bill] Duff McKagan from Guns N' Roses,

the Seattle Supersonics...

Sorry, Wes...

Pearl Jam.

Let's not forget those humble
pioneers known as Mudhoney.

[Phil] [shouting indistinctly]

How the fuck do you leave out Ann
and Nancy Wilson from Heart?

Didn't you know "Magic Man" is about me?

[all cheering]

Get on in here! Get you some.

God, I missed you people.

My goodness, I missed you guys.

- [man] We've missed you too.
- [Phil] There's my crew,

goddamn crew.

[Phil] Where's my Kelly Ann?

Called me all the way into outer space.

That made my whole trip almost worth it.

Get in here, girl. How are you?

[Phil] Oh, you got... You got prettier.

Yeah, oh, my goodness, I
didn't think it'd happen.

[Cage the Elephant's "Always
Something playing]

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

[Bill] How could you not tell
me you were bringing Phil back?

I mean, why were we
kept in the dark on this?

[Preston] Darling, I distinctly remember

being on the phone with
Shelli a few days ago,

and I said that the band misses Phil.

They feel like nothing's
been right since he left.

Yeah, but he never
said Phil would be back.

[Phil] Look, I had to pull
in every possible favor

to steal him back from
Planet Swift, okay?

Yeah, it's okay as long as you're fine

having a known
embezzler head up the tour.

I am. And speaking of theft,

what's this about Christopher's iPad?

He called me, hysterical.

Yeah, I know. Look. Uh...

- ...he's drinking again.
- What?

And writing songs again, right?

And hanging by a fucking thread again.

- Christopher is drinking again?
- Yeah.

[Preston] Bill?

Yeah, I'm here. Uh, look, Preston,

I'll find Christopher's iPad, okay?

[Preston] Thanks, pal. You
know what we call this

- in Staton-House land, right?
- Yeah.

- [Preston] As the House turns.
- As the House turns.

- Oh.
- [Preston] Look, if he's

on a big bender, we've
got to protect him,

so keep that fucking photo
session super short.

- Got it.
- Okay.

[Preston] And kiss
and make up with Phil.

And I'll come out there
just as soon as my son's

strep throat clears up, so...

later, darling.

- Bye.
- Jesus.

I'm gonna go try and find
Chris, if he'll even talk to me.

Now, why wouldn't you let
me mention your birthday?

Eh, it just didn't feel right.

And please don't get me anything, okay?

What a day.

What a day.

[funky music]

It's a brown leather Fendi suitcase.

I'm... I mean, I'm in, uh...

I'm in Seattle.

I'm sitting on
something called a Zamboni.

I'm at the, uh, Dave...

David Fucking Grohl
Dome, or whatever it's called.

I don't know.

- [phone chimes]
- Hey. Sorry. Hang on a second.

I'm just... I'm... I'm just getting a...

[phone chimes]

...text.

[Shelli] Well, it's good
to see you, handsome.

- It's good to be seen.
- [chuckles]

I come bearing news from your husband.

He says, "Happy birthday, gorgeous."

And your present is somewhere
in the stands.

Oh, wow. He, uh...

He did the treasure hunt thing again.

I believe it took some
doing, getting it all set up.

Yeah. It's this really
sweet thing he likes to do,

just incredibly sweet.

[laughs]

It's just I have zero time.

Did he at least narrow
it down to a section?

He did not, darlin'.

But we'll have to do something
special tonight.

You deserve it.

Ah, not really. [laughs]

Reg! Um...

Shelly. Uh...

- [Shelli] Um...
- Fuck! Uh, Phil.

[clears throat] Shelli for Bill.

Production hallway, now.

Reg.

Hello.

You look concerned, Pasty Boy.

Yeah, uh, uh, that... That is Janine.

- Janine?
- Yeah.

Uh, yeah, she paid us a visit.

Boy, if that isn't a
sign of the Apocalypse...

I mean, I love that girl, but God damn.

Phil, welcome back.

- Hey, good to see you, pal.
- Hey.

- Bring it in.
- Motherfuck...

Yeah, I saw you at morning circle,

but you kind of got engulfed there.

[Reg gasping]

[Phil grunting]

- [Reg groans]
- Hey, Phil?

[Bill] Phil?

Got to let him go.

[gasping]

[gasps] Fuck.

Yeah.

[panting]

Uh, yeah, so, um, as I
was, uh, just trying to explain,

Janine just texted me...
You the famous yearbook?

- [Shelli] Mm-hmm.
- It's gone missing.

- Uh, wait. What?
- [Reg] Yeah.

And she thinks that
we stole it from her.

So...

First Chris's iPad. Now the yearbook.

- Yeah.
- That's the second sign

of the Apocalypse:

thievery and deception from within.

God, I've missed you people.

Let's go find this crook.

Bill and Shelli?

Who told you?

No one. I can just tell.

Bill and Shelli.

That's like your parents
having sex and cheating on each other

all at the same time.

Whew. Finally ditched the Devil Child.

It can't be true.

Shelli has this really great marriage.

- I need your advice.
- Which you never take.

We're in Seattle.

Do I invite Mike McCready to the show?

Wes, how high are you?

- Like half and half.
- No, Wes,

you do not invite the guy
who fired you to the show.

Just interpret this text for me, okay,

'cause it's confusing.

"Wes. Sorry. No time. See
ya! Mike. Ashley says hi."

How is that confusing?

What? "See ya."

That's encouraging, right?

You always do this.

You just set yourself
up for disappointment.

Well, if I don't, who will?

Okay, and when is
fuckin' Halsey getting here?

Because I would love to shake her hand,

marry her, and watch her play,

in any order.

[ernergetic drum music]

His face has become more clear.

[surf rock]

Manamana Lima.

Manamana-what?

Lima.

I believe that's Italian.

[Puna] A man called finger.

Hey, make a path. I've got roadies

trying to move shit through here,

and trust me, they will step
on you and keep going.

Hi. Are you Shelli?

Uh, yes. I'm the production manager.

I'm Bethany Ian-Crouch, Abby
Van Ness's field assistant.

Abby's on her way, but
before she gets here,

just a few basic things
about the way she works.

You can pass it on to your minions.

Did you actually just say that?

First of all, Abby
Van Ness will interact

with only two of your crew members.

- Is that okay?
- No.

When Abby Van Ness
arrives, she's gonna need

ten full minutes of
silence when she walks in

so she can feel the
space and begin her process.

Okay, Bethany, let me
give it to you straight.

This band is going to
do a rare sound check

to run through a few new songs.

Abby Van Ness will
have ten minutes maximum

before this sound check.

[indistinct chatter]

I was in space for less than two weeks,

and suddenly Janine's back,

half the band's off the goddamn wagon,

we have comedians opening for us,

and the nice kid who
ran our website's now

a klepto-fucking-maniac.

Boy, did you guys miss me.

And I still don't have my luggage.

How the fuck are we gonna find Finger?

All we know is he lives in Tacoma.

320 1/2

Lung Street.

Yeah, Puna, how do you know that?

I have Find My iPad.

- Well, good.
- Got to get that.

- I've been meaning to do that...
- God damn it.

I've been meaning to
do that for fucking...

Hey, well, should we...
should we notify the authorities?

- Yeah.
- [Phil] Yeah, no, fuck that.

- No. Fuck that. Come on.
- Next thing you know,

Chris's demos are all over social media.

I'll get our shit back.

Guaranteed.

Yep. That's how we do it Stateside.

Phil, with all due respect,

I think that maybe I should handle this.

I tell you what.

We'll go together.

I'll meet you outside in 15 minutes.

I'm locked and loaded.

Well, drive safely. Remember it's
the other side of the road.

What do you mean, drive safely?

Are you fucking insane? Did
you hear what he just said?

He's locked and loaded.

Did you see that, like...

...demented grin on his face?

Yeah, that's a lot of teeth, isn't it?

He could just pull over
in the middle of nowhere

and [mimics gunshot sound]

Truthfully, he might
not even need the gun.

He might just... [grunts]
"Fuckin' Union Jack.

Whoa, there, son of a bi"...

Ah, I think it's one of those things

when you've killed a couple people,

it's like sports... You just want to go

for that third championship ring.

- However...
- However?

Reg.

[sighs]

I can't go. I've got a show to do.

And I'm not quite ready to be
in an enclosed space with Phil.

I have my own issues with Phil's return.

Do you really want my
death on your conscience?

[Courtney Barnett's
"Pedestrian at Best"]

[energetic rock music]

What's wrong?

Oh, hello. Nothing.

Just an oddly ambiguous text.

And Abby Van Ness is
taking pictures, huh?

She's my favorite photographer.

She's got a tough
exterior, but I don't buy it.

She couldn't take all of
these incredibly emotionally potent,

soul-scratching photographs

without protecting an
achingly beautiful, romantic heart

that only a handful of
people are ever gonna see.

You have something
stuck in your... it's...

- What? Where?
- It's a piece of hay.

Oh. Fuckin'...

I... I'll just, uh...

Well, you should go and
introduce yourself,

tell her how much you admire her work,

and that you are also a photographer.

- No. I don't...
- Yes, you are.

You took those photos
at the meet and greet.

Who do you think suggested you for that?

Who? You?

You were the spendcentric choice.

Why get some outsider
when we have you here?

You did an excellent
job, and I knew you would.

That's actually pretty interesting,

'cause you didn't... I mean,
you could've paid me something.

Just go and introduce yourself.

No one ever got angry at a compliment.

I don't see myself talking to her.

Fine.

So, what is, uh, so
ambiguous about the text?

Oh, nothing. It's nothing.

Would you like me to
interpret it for you?

I have to do it all the
time with my brother.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

"R." Full stop.

"My yearbook was
stolen!" Exclamation mark.

"Before I left!" Exclamation mark.

"I'm devastated."

"There is a lot of missing." Full stop.

- Which is the part...
- "There is a lot of missing."

Do you think... Is that an admission?

Or a... a confession of some sort?

It's almost like a song title.

It's a typo.

Puna? Pun?

Would you mind
looking at that text for me?

It's a typo.

- Halsey!
- Shh!

[whispering] Hi. I'm Wes.

Welcome to the
Staton-House Band family.

Hi. I heard you guys were, uh, friendly.

[stammers]

- Coffee?
- Uh, yes, please.

Hey, I saw you at Jones
Beach in August. It was sick.

[whispering] Thanks.
Why are we whispering?

I don't know. Let's stop.

[speaking at normal volume] Okay.

Dude, that crowd was fucking
falling asleep.

You hit the stage. You
opened up with "Castle,"

like, "Jones Beach!
What the fuck is up?"

And you destroyed that crowd.

And that turquoise wig was so cool.

You should've said hi, Wes.

Dude, I love your music.

Like, the stripped down
version of "Hold Me Down." Come on.

- No drums, right?
- It's wicked.

Mm... are you the Wesley?

Who worked with Mike McCready?

Pearl Jam? Their guitarist.

Of course, dude. There's only one.

Oh, my gosh. I know Liz
Burns. I've heard all about you.

[Bethany] Shush!

Abby?

Hi. Abby? I'm... I'm Shelli.

I'm the production
manager for Staton-House.

- I don't like daisies.
- Oh.

So nice to meet you too.

Uh, the band's so excited
to be photographed by you.

You've... you've got a
lot to do, and so do we,

so, uh, let me just
give you some parameters.

Everything needs to be
ready before the band arrives.

When they do, you'll
get ten minutes with them

before their sound check.

[scoffs] I was given 20 minutes

with the Rolling Stones in 1978.

I've been photographing them ever since.

I had... how long did
I have with Prince?

15 months.

I had 15 months with Prince.

We ended up shooting him in the nude

and recording the entire unreleased
album at Paisley Park

with me singing the lead,

with Prince producing.

Can't wait for that one to come out.

Johnny Cash gave me 18 years.

We did a super fucking emotional session

the day he died.

My concept...

...is the death of rock.

Genius.

My band will hate it.

I'm not here to vet my
ideas to the production girl.

- You just did.
- It's fucking rad.

- Bethany?
- It's fucking rad.

It's fucking rad.

Now I want you to get the band to my set

and get the fuck out of my way.

Abby, uh,

let me tell you what's gonna happen

so you can use your ten
minutes the best you can.

The band will claim they
don't want makeup,

but Tom actually does.

And Rick is gonna
try to do, uh, this pose.

We call it The Cock.

Every photographer hates it.
You just have to tell him no.

Chris may wander off. And
none of them, I guarantee,

will sit on that horse,

so you might want to
think of a backup plan.

Thanks for you input.

[light acoustic guitar music]

[Bill] I want him to find Jen.

[Phil] Their relationship is doomed.

Jen didn't survive the plague.

[man] 30 miles to Tacoma.

If you're talking about Dead Sex,

uh, I was forced to watch it when
I was trapped on that bus,

and I have to admit that David
Spade as Harris DeSoto

is fucking remarkable.

I mean, he's like a
young Anthony Hopkins

Here's what I don't get.

If the plague only
kills average-looking people

and the sex is what saves them, then...

It's a fucking metaphor, man!

- A metaphor.
- [Reg] Is it?

[Phil] Beautiful is average;

average is beautiful.

[guitars tuning]

[playing Halsey's "Hold Me Down"]

- Yeah!
- [both laughing]

- That's the shit.
- No kidding.

No. Really, you're a badass player.

Oh, thank you. Thank
you. Well, what about you?

[both laugh, bass drum beating]

Who's this?

Oh, uh, this is my associate Winston,

who is actually supposed to
be doing his social studies.

Please.

Yeah, the usual stupid bullshit.

Hey, and no more Dead Sex till
you finish your homework.

Dead Sex? I love Dead Sex.

Listen, I got to get to sound check.

I-I-I can't wait to
see your set later.

Hey.

Would you ever...

Oh, this is fucking crazy.

What? What?

Would you ever
consider joining our band?

Wait. What? Really?

Yeah. You could play some songs with us,

help out, maybe tech some too.

[Wes] You're fucking with me, right?

[Halsey] Well,
technically, I'm stealing you,

but, listen, think about it,

and we'll talk about
it more later, okay?

Okay. Awesome.

[Field Report's "I Am
Not Waiting Anymore" playing]

[laughs quietly]

[light acoustic guitar music]

Oh, Winston, come... Winston!

Come on, man. I...

Fuck.

Hey. Winston. Come...

Ugh.

Smaller bones in the graveyard.

- Smaller bones. Copy.
- [pop]

What?

- [pop]
- Who's shooting?

[pop]

[indistinct chatter]

- Look out.
- Okay.

[woman] Watch it. Watch it.

Hi.

- Hi.
- You're tripping my flash.

Oh! I'm... I'm so, so sorry, ma'am.

What's your name, dear?

It's... it's Kelly Ann.

I'm a huge fan of your work.

Your book of portraits...
What it was, what it is...

It's a bible.

It's my bible of
compositions and images.

Yeah. [laughs]

Oh, look, you are a
budding photographer, aren't you?

Yeah, I was accepted
into NYU film school,

but I deferred a
year... I may go next year.

Mm, how cool. May I see your work?

Yeah.

Fun.

This... oh, well, this
is probably not your best.

Uh... are you auto-focusing?

You have to work on that.

And... wait. Let me see.

This... you might
want to delete this one.

And this one. And... wait... this one.

Sorry. Already did.

Oh! Upside down car.

Well, we all have to get
through our upside-down-car phase.

And the obligatory bird eating garbage.

Let me guess.

Your mother gave you a camera,

and you showed her some
photos, and she was like,

"Oh, my God, Kelly, you're so talented."

Moms lie, honey.

Yeah. I'm not sure if you're joking.

I'm not. But you don't
want to be an artist anyway.

I mean, you've got this great job

lifting things with all these cute boys.

And you can't even stick up
for your own work right now to me,

can you?

That's because you had weak parents.

Your parents were weak.

And you have no rage inside of you.

So you have nothing to say as an artist.

So, let me make this simple.

A, you are talent-free.

B, get the fuck...

out of my light.

Um...

Say it.

Say it!

A, I barely know my parents.

My brother and I were
raised in a foster home.

B, all I wanted was for
you to sign my book,

which I have with me, because
I carry it everywhere.

And now all I want to do is just burn it

and... and spit in every single magazine

that you have a picture in,

because you're just a small person.

You just suck.

Hey, uh, quick thing. You got a sec?

Uh, that girl... you don't
get to talk to her like that.

Only I can do that.

I don't care if you gave Mick
Jagger a blowjob in 1975...

'78.

But if you say one
more aggressively irritable

or insulting thing to
any member of my crew,

not only will I throw you off
this set without your shot;

I will personally shove your head

so far up your inflated, Pulitzer
Prize-winning ass,

you'll come face-to-face with
that assistant you ate

when you were 21.

Mm, I miss that assistant.

[laughs]

And I'm a Keith girl.

And if you ever come to New York,

I'd really love to
spend some time with you.

[laughs]

[old Western-inspired music]

Wait.

Can't just storm in
there like a bunch of thugs.

He'll clam up.

Are you calling me a thug?

Fine.

You want to be the good cop?

No. Reg can be good cop.

I really do not feel
comfortable impersonating a police officer.

Cool your jets, boy.

I brought a little friend.

Oh, fucking hell.

Reg! What are you do...

Phil.

Oh, my God. You're a legend.

I know all about
your... colorful history.

Welcome back from space.

Michael Lewis Finger.

Bill.

The Bernie Madoff of rock.

Where's the iPad you
stole from Christopher House?

And the yearbook you took from Janine.

What? I... I don't understand. Wha...

You don't understand? He
doesn't understand, guys.

Hey, I welcomed you into
our morning circle.

I put my arm around you.

I compared you to Danny Sugerman.

I compared you to David Geffen.

[stammering]

Look. The... these
accusations are bullshit, okay?

So... so, uh, just,

please leave, or I will call the police.

Okay.

[dark Western music]

You know what happens next.

Third time's not a charm.

Easy, White Buffalo.

He ain't worth it.

[Halsey's "Ghost" plays on stereo]

[ambient electronic music]

I got Nate's bounceback in my ears.

Like, I can hear Nate
the further back I go.

Scott, let me get more vocal.

- [applause]
- man: Nice!

Whoo!

- [woman] Yeah.
- [man] Great.

[applause]

[light acoustic guitar music]

Jesus. Would you look at this?

[Man humming]

[Bill] Look at all this.

[chuckles] Who'd have thought?

It's like a camera I
didn't know was there

was photographing all my memories.

Phil, check this out.

Cancelled Spanish Frisbee promotion

for the Alexander Street tour.

- [laughs] It sure is.
- Remember that?

Total bust.

The Viva El Calle De Alexander Tour.

[Man humming]

[Bill] Look at that. Oh,
there's a shot of me

from the Suit and Tie Tour.

Reg, I wore a suit and
tie every day for nine months.

How'd you get this?

- Oh, you in a suit. Look.
- [laughing]

Yeah. Every day.

2010. He never repeated the same tie.

That's Cave Hill.

Yeah. It is... you were there
that day, weren't you?

I think I took that damn picture.

- [Bill] I think you did.
- [Finger] You did.

You look quite... young there.

I was.

[Bill] What happened to the real you?

[Reg] What's that?

Just a line from a
song that's been on my mind.

Hey, Finger, can I keep that?

I'd like to give it to someone.

[Finger] Yeah. Of course.

[Reg] Fuck. Are these originals?

Absolutely.

How on earth did you get these?

[Finger] Uh, I, uh...

...found them in the
trash outside Golden Sound Studio.

[Phil chuckles]

They sold it to developers.

So these are unreleased tracks?

That is fucking amazing, Finger.

[Finger] Found the
Tulaggi live tapes the same way.

The first live shows the SHB ever did.

In the trash.

Bribed a janitor.

Here it is. The yearbook.

Whoa!

Ooh, do you mind if I just, uh...

Look. I... I'm really sorry.

But this is all your fault.

Hmm? What? Me? Wait. Me? Why?

You never should've contacted me.

You know, you never
should've let me get that close.

I was fine before, but
you brought me in,

and I got... I got too close.

Got too close.

Icarus ascending.

Here. It's Christopher's iPad.

Just take, uh, whatever you need.

[Phil] We're about to.

[Bill] Oh, we will.

[pensive electric guitar
music plays on iPad]

[Woman vocalizing]

You know something?

Standing here and remembering

something I almost forgot.

What's that, buddy?

I mean, this band gave us everything.

That they did.

- Right?
- That they did.

[Finger] I never expected anybody else

to ever stand in this room,

feeling the way I feel every single day.

So, thank you.

Please, uh, don't arrest me.

We're not gonna arrest you, Mike.

[Phil] Speak for
yourself, there, Elton John.

Listen. We're gonna cut
you a break this time.

But let me explain something to you.

A scissor cuts two ways:

deep and deeper.

Now, where does your mama keep
the fucking trash bags, Finger?

Under the sink.

Wait. What did that mean?

Hey.

What's going on?

Is all that graveyard
stuff for, uh... what's her name?

Abby Van Ness.

Right. So, uh, did you,
like, get to talk to her?

Yeah.

Wow.

Me and you, on the same day,

getting to meet people we look up to.

So cool, huh?

Yeah.

[woman] Aaron, go to
two. Barry, go to two.

Are you all right?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Hey, so, uh, I
thought about what you said,

and I took your advice.

That's two firsts.

Yeah, so I didn't call
McCready, but just now...

Um, okay, this is gonna
sound like I'm making it up,

but Halsey just invited me to go on tour

to tech and to play for her.

- No way.
- I know. Crazy, right?

I'm just... ugh.

Then Winston saw me get all excited,

and I swear I saw his
heart break in real time.

I think he kind of needs me, you know?

So, what... what do I do?

You have to go.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, what about...

Winston?

Uh, Winston'll have to handle it.

It... it was pretty wild, though, huh?

Me and you on the same tour.

We were driving each
other crazy, though, right?

We were?

I think it's... I just
think it's a great opportunity.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess.

You have to go.

It'll be amazing.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

[Jackson Browne's
"Lawless Avenues playing]

[upbeat music]

[Finger] Drive carefully.

In those two bags is the
box set of our dreams.

Thank you.

- The yearbook.
- Yeah. I've got it here. Yeah.

Yeah. Give it to me.

What? No!

Um, we need to give it to Janine.

Reg... [clears throat]

...I know why you're so determined

to give it to her, okay?

So you can see her again.

No, I don't. What are you...

Do you really want to
delude yourself this way?

She's not yours.

- Hey, Reg?
- Yeah? Hello.

About you firing me...

Listen, Phil. I did not fire you.

Preston fired you. I was
just the messenger, okay?

Well, I know
traditionally they say that shit

about "don't shoot the messenger,"

but why not?

He's standing right there.

[laughs]

Anyway, I figured you were wondering

whether or not I was
gonna take my revenge.

Not real... Well, I mean...

yeah, it might've crossed my mind, yeah.

- Well, the answer's yes.
- Yeah?

It's a mental cocktail I serve

called Phil's Slow Twist in the Wind.

You won't know when,

and you will never see it coming.

I've made people wait for
years for the perfect revenge.

Do you ever sometimes just decide to...

...forgive and forget?

Well, you never know.

That's part of the twist, Double D.

One day, you could be
listening to "Don't Stop Believing"

on the speakers overhead,

and then all of a sudden, the
lights just go out on you.

Sopranos style.

But until then, me and you are good.

Okay, great.

Well, I can... I can...
I can live with that.

I suppose.

It's a mood. It's a feeling.

It's... it's, uh,

chaos and... and darkness,

the very death of rock and roll.

Hmm?

You, the last great hope,

surviving in the wasteland.

It's a guy in a hood.

And he's not even in the band.

What are you? Chickenshit?

Did you just call me chickenshit?

[Abby] What are you gonna do about it?

- Yeah.
- Abby, you've got three minutes

before the band has to sound check.

Okay, everybody position yourselves
around the horse.

Makeup, hurry, please!

- [Christopher] No makeup. Thanks.
- [Tom] I'll take a little.

She just called me chickenshit.

Make sure they get your neck, man.

Yeah, get yourself
together. Stop being an asshole.

I love you too, brother.

[indistinct chatter]

Can you face the camera, Chris?

Hmm?

Scared, Chris?

Huh?

Were you a scared little boy once?

Come on.

Turn around and give
me the look that says

you want to fuck the one
girl who broke your heart.

[Best Coast's "Feeling Ok" playing]

Give me the look that
says you want to fuck Janine.

Two minutes.

Chris, I need your face, love.

[upbeat rock music]

[Abby] Chris!

Fucking bullshit!

Whoo!

One minute.

[Abby] Fuck! Did you
tell him to do this?

- No, it's not one minute.
- [Shelli] And yet it is.

Well, 53 seconds. Bethany?

53 seconds?

You didn't do your job properly.

[Abby] You didn't prep the band.

[Shelli] Guys, we need to sound check.

That was the quickest
ever. Thanks, Shelli.

Of course.

[Bethany] Okay, people. Great session.

I'm gonna need everybody's
email addresses.

Abby's will want to write to some of you

to apologize for what she
may or may not have said or done.

And that's a wrap!

[clapping]

[rock music]

Hey. Well done back there.

- One shot.
- One awesome shot.

Come bearing Christopher's iPad.

Oh. Went okay?

Well... [sighs]

...on the way home, we were listening

to these new
alcohol-fueled songs he's been writing,

and, uh...

...they're incredible.

- Shit.
- Yeah, it's like

you almost wish they weren't, right?

Yeah.

Um, but how was your day?

Tell me everything.

Really?

Um, uh...

...Sean had someone

hide a birthday
gift for me in the seats.

I haven't had ten
seconds to look for it.

And it's doors in five.

So I'm kind of fucked.

Okay. We'll find it.

Uh, hey, guys?

- Like, a wrapped gift, right?
- Uh, yeah, I think so.

Guys, keep your eyes open

for a wrapped gift.

It's under the seats.

Check the balconies, okay?

I can't believe he didn't
even give me a section.

Last time it was, uh,
behind, uh, front of house, so...

Uh, hey, Shelli, there's
something, uh...

...something I wanted you to have...

This photograph, and...

Yeah?

Yeah.

Whoa. Are you kidding?

[Isaac Gracie's "Hollow
Crown" playing]

No way.

Got it!

[laughs]

It's beautiful.

Look at that.

Um, I have to know what
it is to tell him.

Yeah.

Mm.

It's fruit and nut. That's, um...

It's kind of an inside joke.

Well, you got it.

I can't afford this stuff.

Well, I have to call him.

Right. Congratulations. It's nice.

- Bill?
- Yeah?

Thank you. Thanks.

Of course.

[Shelli] Hey, you!

Uh, no. Yes. I just found it. [laughs]

No, I... Yeah, it's really...

They're amazing, but you
shouldn't have done that.

Hey.

Hey.

Okay.

Don't kill me.

My tour manager says
that we don't have the money

to bring you on tour.

You'd be surprised how
cheap you could get me.

We don't even have the bus space.

I'm so sorry. I should've checked first.

You probably hate me to infinity.

Maybe for a few minutes.

You know, truth is,

there's people here who need me.

I'm sure that's true.

Maybe next tour?

And tell me you'll at
least jam with us tonight.

Please say yes.

If you'll do something for me.

Hey, dude, let me... Let me handle this.

Please, Wes, please.

Look, I told you, I
have changed my mind.

We got you everything you asked for.

I don't care, Halsey. I'm
not leaving this kid.

[whispering] Call me by
my real name, Ashley.

[whispers] Oh, right, uh...

[speaking at normal volume]
Ashley, it's over for now.

Wes, no! What about the...
The promises, the chemistry,

the future?

Another time, Ashley, okay?

I'd miss Winston too much.

I'll never forget you, Wes.

[grunts]

[inhales sharply]

Nor I you.

Come on, buddy.

[upbeat music]

[mouthing words]

Hey.

Amazing show tonight.

Closing with the first song
you guys ever wrote together

like a big, beautiful full circle.

You, uh...

You killed it.

Yeah, I felt good tonight.

Hey, uh, Shelli?

I know how hard you work, and, uh...

...I just wanted to say thank you.

Thank you. I mean... [laughs]

Christopher, are you drunk?

Yes.

Thanks, fellas. Thank you.

Great show, everybody.

Thank you. Good show.

You were awesome with Halsey, dude.

[Donna] Who knew?

Thanks. How about our boys tonight?

Wow. I mean, they were so amazing

that you know what?

I think I'm gonna stay.

- What?
- Yeah. Yeah.

Well, also because of money

and there's no room on the bus, but...

Oh, man, that sucks.

Yeah. Yeah, that sucks.

I mean, not completely.

No, I mean it sucks that
you're still here.

I didn't get rid of you.

You love me. Say it.

No. Wes!

[laughing]

[Phil] All right. Heads up, people.

Good show tonight.

Listen. As you well know,

we are slimming
down for an upcoming gig.

But that's a few days away.

But right now, tonight...

[amplified] ...it is Shelli's birthday.

[cheers and applause]

[Phil] So get your shit done,

meet us at Dirty Tom's down the block.

We're gonna toast Shelli,

and be sure to say thank you to Bill,

because drinks are on the tour.

[cheers and applause]

[man] Yeah, Bill!

[all speaking at once]

[together]
Ooh, baby, do
you know what that's worth?

Own it, bitch.

- [woman] Yeah!
- [man] Whoo!

[all]
When the night falls down

- Hey, Tony Blair.
- Hello, Phil.

- What you got there?
- Ordinary piece of hay.

Phil?

Mm-hmm?

I would like to explore

possible nonaggressive status with you.

Reg, I got a lot of really
good people inside me.

And they like you a lot.

But I got this one really,
really bad one.

And he's mad at you.

Please don't kill me, Phil.

Please let me live.

[all]
We'll make
heaven a place on Earth

I'll do what I can.

[mumbling indistinctly]

Let me buy you a drink.

No. I'm leaving. I'm leaving.

Stay with us. Choose a song.

I always sing "These Days" by Nico.

Donna always sings "Cemetery
Gates" by Pantera.

And Milo isn't here yet,

but I put him down for "Try
A Little Tenderness."

Oh, I see.

You... you want me to, um, choose a song

so that you lot can make
fun of my foolish choice?

No.

[all]
Ooh, heaven
is a place on Earth

We wouldn't...

[all]
Ooh, in
heaven, love comes first

I get it, though.

You should make fun of me.

'Cause I am... I'm a damn fool.

[Black Lips' "Make You Mine" playing]

[upbeat rock music]

[laughing]

- Yeah.
-
Gonna make you mine

[man] Whoo!

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