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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,286 --> 00:00:03,235 No we don't agree! 2 00:00:03,254 --> 00:00:03,953 I quit. 3 00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:04,754 You're fired. 4 00:00:04,789 --> 00:00:05,871 You don't mean that. 5 00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:07,840 I know you, and you don't mean that. 6 00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:08,791 [sobbing] He's not coming. 7 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,092 Unbelievable! 8 00:00:10,128 --> 00:00:12,378 The very first... Joey-Clutch. 9 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:13,345 Kind of big, isn't it? 10 00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:14,491 This is not a competition, Barrett. 11 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,716 I think we can both be in the fashion industry. 12 00:00:17,135 --> 00:00:17,933 I'm a jerk off? 13 00:00:17,969 --> 00:00:19,018 You're a jerk. 14 00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,252 I'm just trying to get home with my applique, 15 00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:21,303 and I'm a jerk off? 16 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,995 Oh no, he's on Celebrity Tantrum. 17 00:00:24,020 --> 00:00:24,669 [coming from phone] 18 00:00:24,694 --> 00:00:26,091 - Joey: He can't even hit! - Get out of here! 19 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:27,379 [gasps] What the f...! 20 00:00:27,404 --> 00:00:29,339 Joseph, welcome to your intervention. 21 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,355 I am not coming back. 22 00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,236 All right buddy, have a good practice. 23 00:00:37,488 --> 00:00:38,488 Why the long face? 24 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,773 I don't really wanna play soccer anymore. 25 00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:42,107 What? You love soccer. 26 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,876 All the coach does is yell. 27 00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:44,994 I wanna quit. 28 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:46,779 Griff, just because you get a tough coach, 29 00:00:46,798 --> 00:00:48,214 doesn't mean you can quit. 30 00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,081 And more importantly, 31 00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:50,360 you gotta be there for your friends. 32 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,467 Uncle Alex is your friend, 33 00:00:51,502 --> 00:00:53,385 and you're not there for him. 34 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,471 Well. That's different, okay. 35 00:00:55,506 --> 00:00:57,289 Alex is part of my team and... 36 00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:58,809 Like a soccer team. 37 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,125 Just get out there. 38 00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:02,178 I wanna do what you do, dad. 39 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,562 Well you're a great singer. 40 00:01:03,598 --> 00:01:04,764 And if you keep practicing, 41 00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:05,765 you're gonna be amazing. 42 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:06,965 Not singing. 43 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,634 I wanna sit on the couch all day 44 00:01:08,653 --> 00:01:10,402 and do arts and crafts. 45 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,071 That's not arts and crafts. 46 00:01:12,301 --> 00:01:15,574 I'm... I'm launching a purse line from that couch. 47 00:01:15,610 --> 00:01:17,276 And you get to eat cold hot dogs 48 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,744 right out of the package. 49 00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:20,446 Mom would never let me do that. 50 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,447 Look... 51 00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:24,135 Dad's not working right now because I don't like 52 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,448 the way I'm being treated at the Comfy Channel, 53 00:01:26,473 --> 00:01:27,753 so I'm taking a stand. 54 00:01:27,789 --> 00:01:29,198 I don't like getting yelled at, 55 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,457 so I'm gonna take a stand and quit soccer. 56 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,371 That's not what I mean. 57 00:01:33,711 --> 00:01:36,178 Okay, it is what I mean, but listen... okay... 58 00:01:36,214 --> 00:01:38,664 If you play soccer, I'll give you a cold hot dog. 59 00:01:38,683 --> 00:01:39,793 Yes! 60 00:01:40,598 --> 00:01:42,012 Just don't tell mom. 61 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,645 Geeze Louise. 62 00:01:43,838 --> 00:01:45,387 Hey. McIntyre. 63 00:01:45,566 --> 00:01:47,201 Practice started five minutes ago and not when ever 64 00:01:47,225 --> 00:01:49,472 you god damn well feel like it. 65 00:01:49,497 --> 00:01:52,018 Listen David, I know you're a big time Hollywood agent... 66 00:01:52,043 --> 00:01:54,112 Yeah, and I rep people a lot bigger than you are. 67 00:01:54,144 --> 00:01:55,726 Well, you're probably use to yelling 68 00:01:55,755 --> 00:01:57,421 at your assistants, but maybe you can 69 00:01:57,456 --> 00:01:59,332 take it down a couple notches with the kids. 70 00:01:59,357 --> 00:02:00,597 They're getting a little upset. 71 00:02:00,629 --> 00:02:01,820 Oh, so you think I should take 72 00:02:01,844 --> 00:02:03,168 it down a notch or two. 73 00:02:03,434 --> 00:02:05,096 It's actually a pretty good idea. 74 00:02:05,131 --> 00:02:06,463 So instead of doing soccer drills, 75 00:02:06,482 --> 00:02:08,627 what if we just gave them soft little bunnies to pet 76 00:02:08,652 --> 00:02:11,160 and lollipops for doing such a great job of losing! 77 00:02:11,234 --> 00:02:12,767 Because that's all they're gonna be... 78 00:02:12,793 --> 00:02:14,855 is a bunch of losers, McIntyre! 79 00:02:14,907 --> 00:02:16,157 Is that what you want? 80 00:02:16,192 --> 00:02:17,816 Do you even have a kid here? 81 00:02:18,111 --> 00:02:19,111 No, man. 82 00:02:19,145 --> 00:02:20,506 I do this for the love of the game. 83 00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:21,579 Is that allowed? 84 00:02:21,614 --> 00:02:23,238 Use your face! 85 00:02:23,416 --> 00:02:25,926 Block that! Idiots. 86 00:02:25,951 --> 00:02:27,818 - I'll be up in the stands. - Yeah, okay. 87 00:02:27,837 --> 00:02:29,848 Why don't you just go back up in the stands where you belong with 88 00:02:29,872 --> 00:02:31,894 the other parents. 89 00:02:32,293 --> 00:02:34,458 Leave the coaching to the real experts here. 90 00:02:34,493 --> 00:02:35,496 [clears throat] 91 00:02:36,162 --> 00:02:38,212 Man, I hope I didn't strain my yelling voice. 92 00:02:38,264 --> 00:02:40,014 What are you looking at? All right, laps. 93 00:02:40,049 --> 00:02:41,799 You, lap. You, lap. 94 00:02:41,834 --> 00:02:42,949 [energetic music] 95 00:02:43,886 --> 00:02:45,302 I'm Joey McIntyre, you know, 96 00:02:45,337 --> 00:02:46,977 the little guy from New Kids on the Block. 97 00:02:47,170 --> 00:02:48,936 Since then, I've had my ups. 98 00:02:49,442 --> 00:02:50,858 And I've had my downs. 99 00:02:50,893 --> 00:02:52,154 But I know I can make it with the love 100 00:02:52,178 --> 00:02:54,311 of my family, hard work, 101 00:02:54,347 --> 00:02:57,364 and maybe better management. 102 00:02:58,768 --> 00:03:00,457 Honey, we're out of hot dogs. 103 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,070 Gilles, what are you doing here? 104 00:03:03,441 --> 00:03:04,725 Without a shirt. 105 00:03:04,858 --> 00:03:06,488 Oh, hey honey. 106 00:03:07,059 --> 00:03:07,875 Joe. 107 00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:10,244 I never knew your wife was so good 108 00:03:10,296 --> 00:03:12,546 - with her hands. - [groans] Right. 109 00:03:12,582 --> 00:03:14,508 Gilles asked me and Quinn asked me to dress him for the 110 00:03:14,532 --> 00:03:16,217 promo tour for his new film. 111 00:03:16,252 --> 00:03:17,384 Ooh. Film huh? 112 00:03:17,420 --> 00:03:18,669 When Quentin calls... 113 00:03:18,913 --> 00:03:20,337 Tarantino? Really? 114 00:03:20,372 --> 00:03:21,639 Joe read for him once. 115 00:03:22,085 --> 00:03:23,340 Nah, well, they put me on tape. 116 00:03:23,375 --> 00:03:25,392 So, what's new in Joe's world. 117 00:03:25,428 --> 00:03:27,685 Uhm... Taking some time off, 118 00:03:27,710 --> 00:03:30,547 and uh, getting back into my maxi clutch line, but... 119 00:03:30,566 --> 00:03:32,316 Barrett told me what they did to 120 00:03:32,351 --> 00:03:33,383 your talk show. 121 00:03:33,402 --> 00:03:35,102 Very cruel, this business. 122 00:03:35,154 --> 00:03:35,853 Hmm. 123 00:03:35,888 --> 00:03:37,054 It's just like the grape. 124 00:03:37,073 --> 00:03:42,155 Some years it's so sweet and bountiful. 125 00:03:42,411 --> 00:03:46,116 Other years, it just withers on the vine. 126 00:03:47,022 --> 00:03:49,416 Actually, my show is not 100% withered. 127 00:03:49,452 --> 00:03:50,234 Really? 128 00:03:50,253 --> 00:03:51,379 I thought you were done with Comfy. 129 00:03:51,403 --> 00:03:52,643 Well, you know, they gotta make 130 00:03:52,672 --> 00:03:54,205 some changes, but uh, 131 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,554 I haven't totally ruled out going back. 132 00:03:57,793 --> 00:04:00,827 In my country, when the man stays home 133 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,436 and the wife works... 134 00:04:03,102 --> 00:04:04,389 [whispers] It's not good. 135 00:04:05,885 --> 00:04:06,885 Okay. 136 00:04:07,358 --> 00:04:08,585 All right, let's take these new pants 137 00:04:08,604 --> 00:04:09,604 for a spin, huh. 138 00:04:09,772 --> 00:04:10,772 [gasps] 139 00:04:11,522 --> 00:04:12,556 [chuckling] 140 00:04:12,772 --> 00:04:15,310 Oh, just the right grab and flexibility 141 00:04:15,335 --> 00:04:16,507 where it counts. 142 00:04:16,929 --> 00:04:18,262 I'm talking about the crotch. 143 00:04:18,281 --> 00:04:19,146 I hope so. 144 00:04:19,198 --> 00:04:21,232 - [exclamations] - [giggling] 145 00:04:22,952 --> 00:04:24,054 [knocking] 146 00:04:24,507 --> 00:04:25,703 Fresh and bake! 147 00:04:25,738 --> 00:04:27,459 [from outside] Joey: Alex, are you in there? 148 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,225 - Joe? - Yeah. 149 00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:31,075 Uh, yeah. Just one second, man. 150 00:04:31,377 --> 00:04:32,468 [upbeat music] 151 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:40,520 Come in. 152 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:42,569 [laughing] 153 00:04:44,304 --> 00:04:48,175 Dr. Dre, you are the funniest dude I've ever talked to. 154 00:04:48,427 --> 00:04:50,094 Yeah... No, you're the man. 155 00:04:50,129 --> 00:04:51,011 You're the man! 156 00:04:51,063 --> 00:04:52,786 I gotta go, Joey McIntyre just walked in. 157 00:04:52,811 --> 00:04:53,811 Peace! 158 00:04:54,538 --> 00:04:56,007 That wasn't Dr. Dre. 159 00:04:56,741 --> 00:04:59,255 - Yeah it was. - Alex, I know you're the one 160 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,821 who's been washing my car every night. 161 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,388 What? That is crazy, Joe. 162 00:05:04,413 --> 00:05:06,810 Why would I... I have not been washing your car. 163 00:05:06,829 --> 00:05:07,829 [trash can rattles] 164 00:05:07,921 --> 00:05:08,812 Look. 165 00:05:08,831 --> 00:05:10,608 I want to apologize for the way I treated you. 166 00:05:10,632 --> 00:05:12,239 You're more than a manager, 167 00:05:12,264 --> 00:05:15,091 you're a friend, and in your own way, 168 00:05:15,116 --> 00:05:16,944 you've always been there for me, so... 169 00:05:17,335 --> 00:05:18,372 I'm sorry. 170 00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:22,293 Thank you. I agree with all that. 171 00:05:22,608 --> 00:05:27,131 But I also wanna apologize for suggesting that 172 00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:28,198 you be a talk show host. 173 00:05:28,234 --> 00:05:29,717 [laughing] What was I thinking? 174 00:05:29,769 --> 00:05:31,497 Joey McIntyre, talk show host? 175 00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:33,429 You're an actor, and a damn good one! 176 00:05:33,456 --> 00:05:34,505 Thank you. 177 00:05:34,530 --> 00:05:36,936 But I'm going back to the show. 178 00:05:36,968 --> 00:05:38,275 Which is why I think you should 179 00:05:38,311 --> 00:05:39,772 go back to the talk show. 180 00:05:39,905 --> 00:05:41,755 - Are you really going back? - I'm going back. 181 00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:44,210 My kid thinks I'm doing arts and crafts on the couch. 182 00:05:45,327 --> 00:05:46,804 And that's not good. 183 00:05:46,936 --> 00:05:47,975 [exclaims] 184 00:05:48,421 --> 00:05:50,070 Does that mean that you need me to... 185 00:05:50,122 --> 00:05:53,073 Yes, that means that at this point, 186 00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:54,450 I can't do it without you. 187 00:05:54,475 --> 00:05:55,475 [exclamations] 188 00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,880 Thank you so much. 189 00:05:59,905 --> 00:06:03,133 It has been a rough couple of weeks with a capital R. 190 00:06:03,585 --> 00:06:05,134 I haven't eaten, I haven't slept. 191 00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:07,587 Every now and then I get this weird like twitch 192 00:06:07,622 --> 00:06:10,038 on the side of my head where I just like... 193 00:06:10,063 --> 00:06:11,077 Do that. 194 00:06:13,478 --> 00:06:14,827 Welcome back, buddy. 195 00:06:14,863 --> 00:06:16,819 - Welcome back. - [joyous laughter] 196 00:06:17,649 --> 00:06:19,515 [singing] ? Yeah, yeah ? 197 00:06:19,567 --> 00:06:21,768 ? Joe and Alex in the house ? 198 00:06:23,655 --> 00:06:26,189 I'm gonna be the best damn manager you ever had. 199 00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:27,156 Yeah. 200 00:06:27,192 --> 00:06:28,502 You can start by putting some pants on. 201 00:06:28,526 --> 00:06:30,276 Don't tell me how to live my life, Joe. 202 00:06:33,731 --> 00:06:34,889 [quirky club music] 203 00:06:35,257 --> 00:06:37,501 Poppin' bottles tonight. [awkward giggle] 204 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,169 - Hey, Soozie. - Joe! 205 00:06:40,205 --> 00:06:42,505 I thought I'd never see you again. 206 00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:45,291 I mean, I see you all the time in my dreams. 207 00:06:45,326 --> 00:06:47,543 Don't worry, they're rated G. 208 00:06:47,595 --> 00:06:49,328 It's mostly just you and me, 209 00:06:49,347 --> 00:06:50,843 working my loom. 210 00:06:51,216 --> 00:06:52,181 What? 211 00:06:52,217 --> 00:06:54,217 I see your Joey doll's got a new friend. 212 00:06:54,269 --> 00:06:55,301 It's not me! 213 00:06:55,336 --> 00:06:56,185 If that's what you were thinking. 214 00:06:56,221 --> 00:06:57,303 I mean... [scoffs] 215 00:06:57,338 --> 00:06:58,838 It could be anybody really. 216 00:06:58,857 --> 00:07:00,807 - Wow. - Whoever it is, 217 00:07:00,842 --> 00:07:02,825 it looks like she's having a good time. 218 00:07:02,861 --> 00:07:04,110 Oh, she is! 219 00:07:04,145 --> 00:07:06,179 She doesn't really get to get out much. 220 00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:07,658 She has a very strict mother who doesn't 221 00:07:07,682 --> 00:07:09,849 let her watch TV or talk to boys. 222 00:07:09,868 --> 00:07:10,650 Oh. 223 00:07:10,685 --> 00:07:12,718 It looks like you've made a mess. 224 00:07:13,187 --> 00:07:14,954 God, I'm so embarrassed. 225 00:07:15,456 --> 00:07:17,540 - Oh, that's okay. - I'm so sorry. 226 00:07:17,575 --> 00:07:18,658 On behalf of management, 227 00:07:18,693 --> 00:07:20,475 please accept this free dessert. 228 00:07:20,882 --> 00:07:23,079 Oh. That's my favorite. 229 00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:24,710 I know. [giggles] 230 00:07:26,467 --> 00:07:29,389 So this is totally normal, but, Joe we have a meeting. 231 00:07:29,871 --> 00:07:31,704 Joseph, we are so glad you've come 232 00:07:31,723 --> 00:07:33,806 back to your senses and returned to the 233 00:07:33,842 --> 00:07:36,676 warm heaving bosom of the Comfy embrace. 234 00:07:36,711 --> 00:07:38,728 We're just happy you're back where you belong. 235 00:07:38,937 --> 00:07:40,553 Well, I'm not back yet. 236 00:07:40,572 --> 00:07:42,210 There's gotta be some changes made. 237 00:07:42,311 --> 00:07:44,274 [pounding] My client has some demands! 238 00:07:44,326 --> 00:07:45,191 Okay. 239 00:07:45,226 --> 00:07:47,327 And if they're not met, we're walking... 240 00:07:47,679 --> 00:07:49,585 ...right out that door. Capiche? 241 00:07:50,231 --> 00:07:52,100 Easy Jerry McGuire. 242 00:07:52,334 --> 00:07:53,700 He's right though. 243 00:07:53,735 --> 00:07:55,035 If this is gonna move forward, 244 00:07:55,070 --> 00:07:56,280 we're gonna do it my way. 245 00:07:56,305 --> 00:07:57,932 Joe, we want to do whatever it takes 246 00:07:57,956 --> 00:07:59,039 to make this work. 247 00:07:59,074 --> 00:08:00,373 And I... 248 00:08:00,408 --> 00:08:02,042 want to do anything to make this work. 249 00:08:02,163 --> 00:08:03,743 Anytime, anywhere. 250 00:08:03,762 --> 00:08:05,095 You just say when, I'm ready. 251 00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:06,600 - Okay. - And I mean it. 252 00:08:06,625 --> 00:08:07,859 Give it to me straight, Jospeh. 253 00:08:07,883 --> 00:08:09,360 The way that my ex-husband did before 254 00:08:09,384 --> 00:08:10,550 he came out. 255 00:08:10,585 --> 00:08:13,608 I want Chris Kirkpatrick back as my musical director. 256 00:08:13,679 --> 00:08:14,921 - Done. - Fatone too. 257 00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:15,940 He's a great side kick. 258 00:08:15,974 --> 00:08:16,974 No argument here. 259 00:08:17,025 --> 00:08:18,358 Everybody loves Fatone. 260 00:08:18,393 --> 00:08:20,560 And I want my skits and bits like you promised. 261 00:08:20,595 --> 00:08:22,343 Well now you're just talking crazy. 262 00:08:22,444 --> 00:08:24,948 How about skits... or bits? 263 00:08:24,983 --> 00:08:26,149 [pens rattling loudly] 264 00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:28,401 Skits and bits! Or no deal. 265 00:08:29,604 --> 00:08:30,913 Sit down. 266 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:32,206 Sorry. 267 00:08:32,288 --> 00:08:34,607 [Sam clears throat] All right, you drive a hard 268 00:08:34,626 --> 00:08:36,993 bargain, Joseph, but we accept. 269 00:08:37,045 --> 00:08:38,749 And we bring it back to late night. 270 00:08:38,780 --> 00:08:41,057 Wonderful! Except the show stays in daytime. 271 00:08:41,082 --> 00:08:41,997 Then no deal. 272 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,553 Joe, we would love to be able to give you 273 00:08:43,577 --> 00:08:45,763 everything you want, but after you quit on us, 274 00:08:45,788 --> 00:08:47,944 we moved an informercial into the late night spot 275 00:08:47,969 --> 00:08:49,427 and it is killing. 276 00:08:49,452 --> 00:08:52,583 It's for the Zippity-Do It Yourself zipper installer. 277 00:08:52,608 --> 00:08:56,062 [laughing] It puts zippers on literally everything. 278 00:08:56,098 --> 00:08:57,098 Everything. 279 00:08:57,647 --> 00:08:59,265 Okay, uh... 280 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,343 I need a moment to confer with my client. 281 00:09:02,217 --> 00:09:03,257 Joe. 282 00:09:04,689 --> 00:09:06,372 PS... That zipper thing sucks. 283 00:09:06,408 --> 00:09:07,240 I have it. 284 00:09:07,429 --> 00:09:08,553 Peas and carrots. Peas and carrots. 285 00:09:08,577 --> 00:09:09,794 Peas and carrots. 286 00:09:09,819 --> 00:09:11,161 What are you doing? 287 00:09:11,406 --> 00:09:13,124 It's a negotiation tactic. 288 00:09:13,658 --> 00:09:15,303 They think we're talking about something serious right now, 289 00:09:15,327 --> 00:09:16,882 it's just gibberish, they don't know. 290 00:09:16,944 --> 00:09:18,732 Now you say, rhubarb, rhubarb. 291 00:09:18,757 --> 00:09:20,225 And I'll be like, yeah. 292 00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:22,991 All right, we have discussed it. 293 00:09:23,526 --> 00:09:24,742 Joe. 294 00:09:25,241 --> 00:09:27,230 If I have creative control, 295 00:09:27,413 --> 00:09:28,843 I guess we can keep it at daytime. 296 00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:29,819 You got a deal. 297 00:09:29,844 --> 00:09:32,087 - [happy exclamations] - [satisfied groaning] 298 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:37,858 Okay. Okay. 299 00:09:39,528 --> 00:09:40,610 [gasps] 300 00:09:41,475 --> 00:09:42,895 Where do we start? 301 00:09:43,663 --> 00:09:45,999 Well, if we're gonna make a dent with this show, 302 00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:47,538 we need to focus on booking some 303 00:09:47,563 --> 00:09:49,343 big celebrity names. Mmm. 304 00:09:49,554 --> 00:09:51,315 I couldn't agree more. Who do you got for me? 305 00:09:51,339 --> 00:09:53,055 Oh, well, no. That's not our department, no. 306 00:09:53,079 --> 00:09:55,452 You can just call some of your famous friends. Hmm? 307 00:09:56,147 --> 00:09:57,999 I don't have famous friends. 308 00:09:58,024 --> 00:10:00,288 Agh! You'll think of someone. 309 00:10:07,632 --> 00:10:09,248 It is soccer! 310 00:10:09,444 --> 00:10:12,418 You can't use your hands, morons! 311 00:10:12,694 --> 00:10:14,937 All right, if I stroke out, you're all just 312 00:10:14,973 --> 00:10:16,806 gonna be doing laps. 313 00:10:17,999 --> 00:10:18,947 Hey David. 314 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,499 Oh great, this guy's back. 315 00:10:20,551 --> 00:10:22,194 What the hell do you want, McIntyre? 316 00:10:22,219 --> 00:10:24,086 Just kick it. 317 00:10:24,622 --> 00:10:26,968 - How's the coaching going? - [whistle blows] 318 00:10:27,925 --> 00:10:29,391 Can't feel the left side of my face. 319 00:10:29,427 --> 00:10:31,177 So I would say, not well. 320 00:10:31,639 --> 00:10:32,795 Yeah, kids these days. 321 00:10:32,814 --> 00:10:34,179 They don't listen, huh? 322 00:10:34,565 --> 00:10:35,481 What would you know about it? 323 00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:36,965 You're never out here coaching, McIntyre. 324 00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:39,185 Ah, you know I'd like to but as 325 00:10:39,237 --> 00:10:40,069 you may have heard, 326 00:10:40,104 --> 00:10:41,303 I'm starting a brand new talk show 327 00:10:41,322 --> 00:10:42,738 on the Comfy Channel. 328 00:10:42,774 --> 00:10:44,156 [snickers] I've never heard of it, 329 00:10:44,324 --> 00:10:45,389 and the answer's "no". 330 00:10:46,661 --> 00:10:48,958 Can you at least let me finish the question? 331 00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:50,718 - [whistle blows] - Jonah! 332 00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:53,833 Why don't I finish it for you? 333 00:10:54,046 --> 00:10:56,435 [mocking voice] Oh Mr. Bigtime Hollywood agent, 334 00:10:56,471 --> 00:11:00,583 may I please have one of your A-list celebrities 335 00:11:00,608 --> 00:11:04,154 to help me with my lame-ass tv show. 336 00:11:04,179 --> 00:11:06,319 Signed, everybody in Hollywood. 337 00:11:06,616 --> 00:11:08,047 Well, the answer's still "no". 338 00:11:08,796 --> 00:11:10,898 Okay, okay, I get it, I get it. 339 00:11:10,923 --> 00:11:13,051 People are probably asking you for favors 340 00:11:13,086 --> 00:11:14,869 all the time because you're a big-time 341 00:11:14,888 --> 00:11:16,288 Hollywood power player. 342 00:11:16,735 --> 00:11:17,850 Well that's true. 343 00:11:18,327 --> 00:11:19,743 Now you got my attention. 344 00:11:19,778 --> 00:11:21,294 I need a big name for the premiere. 345 00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:23,802 I mean I wanna make a splash for the first show 346 00:11:23,827 --> 00:11:25,333 and with all your amazing clients, 347 00:11:25,358 --> 00:11:26,983 I thought you could maybe make a call. 348 00:11:27,522 --> 00:11:28,905 So you get a huge star. 349 00:11:29,411 --> 00:11:30,503 What's in it for me? 350 00:11:30,555 --> 00:11:33,840 [singing] ? Happy birthday to Sophia ? 351 00:11:35,124 --> 00:11:36,163 Sexier. 352 00:11:36,952 --> 00:11:41,725 ? Happy birthday to you ? 353 00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,016 Bigger. 354 00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:45,602 ? Ooh! ? 355 00:11:46,271 --> 00:11:49,022 That's eleven takes, I think we got it, right? 356 00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:50,490 I guess that one'll have to do. 357 00:11:50,525 --> 00:11:51,646 So we got a deal. 358 00:11:51,671 --> 00:11:54,038 You're gonna find me an amazing guest for the first show? 359 00:11:54,507 --> 00:11:57,197 100% guaranteed in stone. 360 00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,398 Amazing, amazing. 361 00:11:58,433 --> 00:11:59,560 Thank you so much and I hope your 362 00:11:59,584 --> 00:12:01,251 - wife loves it. - My wife? 363 00:12:01,286 --> 00:12:03,289 No, it's my cleaning lady's birthday. 364 00:12:03,314 --> 00:12:05,288 She's a huge Backstreet Boys fan. 365 00:12:13,156 --> 00:12:14,163 [laughing] 366 00:12:17,389 --> 00:12:18,601 So funny. 367 00:12:18,796 --> 00:12:20,255 What's going on here? 368 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,521 Joseph, join us. 369 00:12:21,778 --> 00:12:22,911 We are celebrating. 370 00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,100 Celebrating that you finally found a shirt? 371 00:12:25,702 --> 00:12:27,944 Wait till you taste the one in Argentina. 372 00:12:28,186 --> 00:12:29,608 - Argentina? - Mm... hmm. 373 00:12:29,633 --> 00:12:31,865 Gilles asked me and Quinn to go on location with him. 374 00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:32,782 In Argentina? 375 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,343 But I haven't said yes yet. 376 00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:35,546 Ah, you will. 377 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,454 No woman can resist me. 378 00:12:37,489 --> 00:12:40,323 Oh, I'm pretty sure this woman can. 379 00:12:40,358 --> 00:12:42,191 I will not take no for an answer. 380 00:12:42,389 --> 00:12:45,295 She's the only one I trust handling my pants. 381 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,247 He means fitting his pants. 382 00:12:47,593 --> 00:12:50,038 Gilles, I am flattered but three weeks 383 00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,552 is a long time to be away from the kids. 384 00:12:52,587 --> 00:12:53,336 Thanks. 385 00:12:53,371 --> 00:12:55,030 Oh, and you too, Joe. 386 00:12:55,764 --> 00:12:57,057 Gee, thanks. 387 00:12:57,491 --> 00:13:00,393 Don't worry, Gilles always gets his way. 388 00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:01,761 And congratulation, Joe. 389 00:13:02,139 --> 00:13:04,999 Barrett tells me that you're no longer a house husband. 390 00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:07,350 Ah, yup, back to work. 391 00:13:07,632 --> 00:13:10,529 Actually just secured my first big guest for the premiere. 392 00:13:10,554 --> 00:13:11,694 Oh, who is it? 393 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,740 So big I probably shouldn't even tell you. 394 00:13:13,775 --> 00:13:15,224 Oh well, cheers my friend. 395 00:13:15,249 --> 00:13:16,405 This is great news. 396 00:13:16,444 --> 00:13:17,639 Thank you. 397 00:13:18,949 --> 00:13:20,165 What?! 398 00:13:20,436 --> 00:13:22,944 Come on, put your backs into it. How do you expect to learn how to 399 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,401 play soccer if you don't even know how to pack a truck? 400 00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:26,431 Oh [bleep], all right hey, 401 00:13:26,455 --> 00:13:28,757 go find your parents, okie-doke. 402 00:13:30,662 --> 00:13:32,472 Hey, what's going on... 403 00:13:32,499 --> 00:13:34,819 - You bailed on me, what happened? - I can't talk about it. 404 00:13:35,155 --> 00:13:37,372 We had a deal. I sang the song. 405 00:13:37,397 --> 00:13:39,971 Look, there are people in this town even more powerful than me. 406 00:13:40,007 --> 00:13:41,901 You're not allowed to just do anything you want to do. 407 00:13:41,925 --> 00:13:43,091 You're not allowed! 408 00:13:43,116 --> 00:13:45,007 - It's just one guest. - [sighs] 409 00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,248 Do yourself a favor, newbie. 410 00:13:46,573 --> 00:13:47,834 If you don't know how to play the game, 411 00:13:47,858 --> 00:13:49,348 then step away from the table. 412 00:13:49,383 --> 00:13:50,663 [engine starts] 413 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:52,762 You're not wired, are you? 414 00:13:53,678 --> 00:13:54,757 [tires screech] 415 00:14:00,897 --> 00:14:02,505 - [cellphone rings] - Don't even, don't even think about it. 416 00:14:02,529 --> 00:14:04,094 - We have four seconds, Donnie! Please! - It's Joe! 417 00:14:04,118 --> 00:14:05,975 Hey, welcome back to the Jenny MacCarthy Show. 418 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,261 I'm Jenny McCarthy Wahlburg in studio with me is Donnie Wahlburg. 419 00:14:08,285 --> 00:14:09,702 - Hi. - My co-host. 420 00:14:09,727 --> 00:14:13,475 We're talking to women who name their vaginas really cute names. 421 00:14:13,593 --> 00:14:15,405 What's your cute vagina name, Cindy? 422 00:14:15,475 --> 00:14:17,116 - Joe? - Joe is not cute. 423 00:14:17,179 --> 00:14:19,622 This guy promised me an amazing first guest, Donnie. 424 00:14:19,647 --> 00:14:21,038 Then he bails on me. 425 00:14:21,358 --> 00:14:22,747 Okay, slow down, buddy. 426 00:14:22,772 --> 00:14:24,416 Buddy! Now that's a cute one. 427 00:14:24,435 --> 00:14:26,268 Someone told him that he couldn't do it. 428 00:14:26,303 --> 00:14:27,303 That it wasn't allowed. 429 00:14:27,538 --> 00:14:29,397 Well daytime TV can be rough. 430 00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,256 I just want that one great guest to 431 00:14:31,275 --> 00:14:32,708 kick off the whole show. 432 00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:34,638 And I would be happy to be that guest, Joe, 433 00:14:34,663 --> 00:14:36,208 but I'm tied up with Blue Bloods. 434 00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:37,479 Blue Bloods? Gross. 435 00:14:37,531 --> 00:14:38,697 How about I ask Jenny? 436 00:14:38,732 --> 00:14:40,107 No, no, no, no don't ask Jenny. 437 00:14:40,132 --> 00:14:40,982 N-n-n-no. 438 00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:42,863 Will you be a guest on Joey's talk show? 439 00:14:42,888 --> 00:14:44,131 [hysterical laughing] 440 00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:46,422 Is she laughing? 441 00:14:46,457 --> 00:14:47,484 She's not laughing at you. 442 00:14:47,508 --> 00:14:48,522 Yes I am. 443 00:14:48,569 --> 00:14:50,509 Look, I have a friend in daytime, 444 00:14:50,545 --> 00:14:51,761 a real powerhouse. 445 00:14:51,796 --> 00:14:53,429 Powerhouse, love that! 446 00:14:53,464 --> 00:14:54,847 Strong vagina name. 447 00:14:54,882 --> 00:14:56,248 Now, they can be a little intimidating 448 00:14:56,267 --> 00:14:57,466 but don't worry. 449 00:14:57,518 --> 00:14:59,351 I'll put in a good word for you, okay? 450 00:14:59,387 --> 00:15:00,796 What do you mean by "intimidating"? 451 00:15:02,023 --> 00:15:03,194 [crows cawing] 452 00:15:06,716 --> 00:15:07,811 [door creaks] 453 00:15:10,291 --> 00:15:11,436 Hello?! 454 00:15:16,721 --> 00:15:19,022 Oh hey, Aisha I... 455 00:15:24,954 --> 00:15:26,053 [crows cawing] 456 00:15:28,742 --> 00:15:30,280 He's all right. 457 00:15:31,694 --> 00:15:33,366 Have a seat, Joe. 458 00:15:34,132 --> 00:15:35,202 [water dripping] 459 00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:41,835 You should try the Gouda. 460 00:15:42,155 --> 00:15:44,483 We have a guy, flies it in fresh every morning... 461 00:15:44,632 --> 00:15:46,174 from the Netherlands. 462 00:15:46,819 --> 00:15:47,819 Wow. 463 00:15:48,007 --> 00:15:50,178 Uh... I'll pass, but... 464 00:15:50,421 --> 00:15:53,431 Aisha, thank you so much for meeting with me, 465 00:15:53,466 --> 00:15:57,085 and Donnie might've told you I'm starting my own 466 00:15:57,148 --> 00:15:59,065 daytime talkshow, so... 467 00:15:59,624 --> 00:16:01,317 Hmm. I am aware. 468 00:16:01,663 --> 00:16:04,319 Well, I had an amazing guest for my first show, 469 00:16:04,351 --> 00:16:06,913 but then out of nowhere he just bails on me. 470 00:16:07,218 --> 00:16:08,460 - [tense sounds] - Not sure why. 471 00:16:08,554 --> 00:16:11,014 I can see why you'd be confused being 472 00:16:11,039 --> 00:16:13,218 so... new to the scene. 473 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:14,847 The scene? 474 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:15,876 Daytime. 475 00:16:15,911 --> 00:16:16,943 Ah. 476 00:16:16,962 --> 00:16:18,995 You see, Joe, in daytime, 477 00:16:19,047 --> 00:16:20,530 things are done a certain way. 478 00:16:21,202 --> 00:16:24,397 I mean... you like soup, right? 479 00:16:25,911 --> 00:16:27,254 Sure. I like soup. 480 00:16:27,289 --> 00:16:28,999 Everybody likes soup, Joe. 481 00:16:29,591 --> 00:16:32,092 All right, so, imagine that this bowl 482 00:16:32,127 --> 00:16:34,928 of soup is all of daytime TV, all right. 483 00:16:35,093 --> 00:16:37,686 And this matzah ball right here, 484 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,684 this is that big fancy guest you booked 485 00:16:40,736 --> 00:16:42,018 for your show, all right. 486 00:16:42,070 --> 00:16:43,603 And everybody wants this guy, 487 00:16:43,638 --> 00:16:44,905 'cause he gets huge ratings. 488 00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:46,656 He's a big star, everybody goes home rich, 489 00:16:46,692 --> 00:16:48,944 they buy their kids new lips for their birthdays. 490 00:16:48,969 --> 00:16:50,018 But what do you do? 491 00:16:50,245 --> 00:16:53,608 You go out and book this guy all by your lonesome. 492 00:16:53,865 --> 00:16:55,202 And then what happens? 493 00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:56,504 [tense tones] 494 00:16:56,529 --> 00:16:57,772 You make a mess. 495 00:16:58,486 --> 00:17:00,304 You made a mess, Joe. 496 00:17:00,672 --> 00:17:02,702 But, I'm gonna clean it up for you. 497 00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:04,207 Because I like you. 498 00:17:04,259 --> 00:17:05,522 You got chutzpah. 499 00:17:05,711 --> 00:17:08,044 Okay, well. What do I do? I mean, I-I-I need a guest. 500 00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:09,262 I need a guest! 501 00:17:09,298 --> 00:17:10,408 [mocking tone] What am I gonna do? 502 00:17:10,432 --> 00:17:11,331 I need a guest. 503 00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:13,639 Why don't you grow some matzah balls, Joe. 504 00:17:13,819 --> 00:17:14,583 Huh? 505 00:17:14,608 --> 00:17:16,804 There's no crying in daytime television. 506 00:17:17,639 --> 00:17:18,521 I'll tell you what. 507 00:17:18,557 --> 00:17:19,839 I'll make some calls, 508 00:17:19,858 --> 00:17:21,942 I'll find you a great guest for your first week. 509 00:17:21,977 --> 00:17:24,100 How do you feel about uh... 510 00:17:24,327 --> 00:17:25,700 Jerry O'Connell? 511 00:17:25,725 --> 00:17:26,613 My wife loves him! 512 00:17:26,648 --> 00:17:29,585 Everybody's wife loves Jerry O'Connell, Joe. 513 00:17:30,085 --> 00:17:32,569 My wife loves Jerry O'Connell. 514 00:17:33,121 --> 00:17:34,601 I'm gonna clean this up for you, Joe. 515 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,791 And then someday maybe I'm gonna call on you 516 00:17:38,139 --> 00:17:39,525 to clean something for me. 517 00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:41,694 [relieved sigh] Thank you so much. 518 00:17:41,713 --> 00:17:44,631 And whatever it is, I'll be there. 519 00:17:44,679 --> 00:17:45,531 Yeah. 520 00:17:45,550 --> 00:17:47,311 And this looks amazing by the way. 521 00:17:47,336 --> 00:17:48,368 You're gonna eat that? 522 00:17:48,393 --> 00:17:51,382 You're not ready for a matzah ball that big, Joe. 523 00:17:51,436 --> 00:17:54,090 I'll get you some small matzah balls, like uh, 524 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,142 that fit in a baby's hand. 525 00:17:56,178 --> 00:17:58,395 - You can go. - Oh. Okay. 526 00:17:58,438 --> 00:18:00,624 - Yeah. - Uh, thanks. 527 00:18:00,897 --> 00:18:02,038 [silver ware clanking] 528 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,882 [obnoxious slurping] 529 00:18:05,889 --> 00:18:06,903 [upbeat music] 530 00:18:07,499 --> 00:18:11,029 - Wow. Smells so good in here. - Mmm, right. 531 00:18:11,054 --> 00:18:13,857 Well, I know you've been working so hard with Quinn, 532 00:18:13,882 --> 00:18:17,831 so I decided to make my famous Joe Mac Grilled Ham and Cheese. 533 00:18:17,866 --> 00:18:19,549 - Yum! - Yeah. 534 00:18:19,631 --> 00:18:20,889 Where are the kids? 535 00:18:21,038 --> 00:18:22,943 Oh Flan took 'em to a documentary. 536 00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:25,405 Something about genetically modified mushrooms. 537 00:18:25,424 --> 00:18:26,506 - Oh. - Yeah. 538 00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:27,796 Have some champagne. 539 00:18:28,010 --> 00:18:29,288 Are we celebrating? 540 00:18:30,007 --> 00:18:31,405 More like an apology. 541 00:18:31,874 --> 00:18:35,943 For my crazy, kooky behavior the last couple of weeks. 542 00:18:35,968 --> 00:18:38,084 And I just wanna thank you for everything you do, 543 00:18:38,103 --> 00:18:40,436 for us and the kids, and... 544 00:18:41,616 --> 00:18:43,089 I don't know what I'd do without you. 545 00:18:43,108 --> 00:18:44,874 - Honey. - [glasses clink] 546 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,358 But you don't want me to go to Argentina, do you? 547 00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:52,210 No. No, go. Yes, I want you to go. 548 00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:55,623 Do I want you to go with a shirtless French actor? 549 00:18:55,648 --> 00:18:56,614 No. 550 00:18:56,639 --> 00:18:59,716 But, this is gonna be great for your career. 551 00:18:59,741 --> 00:19:02,239 Hey, 'cause if you want me to go, I'm gonna go. 552 00:19:02,264 --> 00:19:05,724 - Well, go. Go, go, go. - Okay, I am. 553 00:19:05,749 --> 00:19:07,874 And then go, after that go, keep going. 554 00:19:08,085 --> 00:19:09,251 Really, go? 555 00:19:09,287 --> 00:19:10,586 Go! 556 00:19:10,621 --> 00:19:12,764 - [glasses clink] - More good news. 557 00:19:12,957 --> 00:19:15,040 I confirmed my first guest for the show. 558 00:19:15,075 --> 00:19:17,083 - Amazing! Who is it? - Jerry O'Connell. 559 00:19:17,108 --> 00:19:19,011 - I love him! - I know. 560 00:19:19,046 --> 00:19:22,069 I still gotta do one more thing before I close the deal. 561 00:19:23,134 --> 00:19:24,241 [energetic music] 562 00:19:32,193 --> 00:19:35,827 Not sure the speedo is necessary, but I appreciate the guest. 563 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,093 You missed a spot. 564 00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,233 Turn around. 565 00:19:48,692 --> 00:19:50,179 Lower. 566 00:19:51,913 --> 00:19:53,186 [obnoxious slurping] 567 00:19:56,551 --> 00:19:57,718 [satisfied exhale] 568 00:20:00,257 --> 00:20:04,452 synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com* 569 00:20:04,502 --> 00:20:09,052 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39265

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