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1
00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:02,700
[Organ playing]
2
00:00:06,805 --> 00:00:09,040
OK, so this
Friday, 8 PM,
3
00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:12,043
Murder mystery dinner,
Sierra Historical Society.
4
00:00:12,077 --> 00:00:13,511
I've rented it out.
5
00:00:13,545 --> 00:00:14,946
Should be
lots of fun.
6
00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:18,283
I have very, very
good roles for both of you.
7
00:00:18,317 --> 00:00:22,120
Raineesha: I's would
like to introduce mrs. Debbie Dangle.
8
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:26,591
Debbie: and may I present
my fiance, Gary Werner.
9
00:00:26,625 --> 00:00:29,027
Coming, my love!
10
00:00:29,061 --> 00:00:30,027
Hello!
11
00:00:30,062 --> 00:00:31,630
[Debbie giggles]
12
00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:34,065
Dance for us. Dance,
minstrel. Dance.
13
00:00:34,099 --> 00:00:37,302
You know what, bitch? I'm
his slave, not yours. You're gonna shut up in here.
14
00:00:37,336 --> 00:00:38,303
Are you gonna
cut me?
15
00:00:38,337 --> 00:00:39,637
Yes, I am.
16
00:00:39,671 --> 00:00:40,705
To murder.
17
00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,607
All but Raineesha: murder.
18
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:44,242
[Debbie giggles]
19
00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:48,746
She's really dead.
20
00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:53,251
Aah! Aah! Aah!
21
00:00:53,285 --> 00:00:55,520
What the fuck.
When are we gonna get to the murder part?
22
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,189
I've been laying
on the bathroom floor for 3 hours.
23
00:01:01,994 --> 00:01:04,162
Son of a bitch!
God damn it!
24
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,801
They all have guns!
25
00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:19,477
Ow!
26
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:20,945
Push them together?
27
00:01:20,979 --> 00:01:22,480
Sheriff's department!
I need your bike!
28
00:01:24,383 --> 00:01:25,917
Aah! Gah!
29
00:01:27,719 --> 00:01:29,154
[Siren]
30
00:01:29,188 --> 00:01:31,022
[Empty gun clicks]
31
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:33,457
Uh! Uh!
32
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,961
Watch. Over the line.
33
00:01:36,995 --> 00:01:38,663
Aah!
34
00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:44,836
Captioning made possible by
MTV networks
35
00:01:44,870 --> 00:01:46,705
[Thunder]
36
00:01:46,739 --> 00:01:51,375
Dangle: the authorities
are on their way.
37
00:01:51,410 --> 00:01:52,344
Raineesha: hey, we're
the authorities.
38
00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:54,079
I know. Well,
the paramedics are on their way
39
00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:55,079
Is what I'm--Paramedics
are on their way.
40
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:57,081
I should have clarified.
41
00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:58,616
It seems as though...
42
00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:03,255
Our murder mystery dinner...
43
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,689
Has become
44
00:02:04,723 --> 00:02:06,725
A "murder" mystery dinner.
45
00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:12,364
The only thing we know
for certain is
46
00:02:12,398 --> 00:02:19,304
That someone in this room
wanted Debbie Dangle dead,
47
00:02:19,338 --> 00:02:25,510
So much so to commit
such a heinous crime.
48
00:02:25,544 --> 00:02:27,345
Takes me back a little ways.
49
00:02:28,580 --> 00:02:32,250
Takes me back
to Cabo San Lucas.
50
00:02:32,284 --> 00:02:33,985
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
51
00:02:34,019 --> 00:02:37,588
Dangle: Leslie, I believe
we had had 4 mind erasers
52
00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:41,225
At Sammy Hagar's
party joint,
53
00:02:41,259 --> 00:02:46,398
Cabo Wabo, when you said
to me, and I quote,
54
00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:50,535
"Boy, oh, boy, it would be so
super if Debbie were dead."
55
00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:51,803
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
56
00:02:51,837 --> 00:02:56,107
Leslie: I said that several
times, but I was kidding.
57
00:02:56,141 --> 00:02:57,575
We laughed.
58
00:02:57,609 --> 00:02:58,576
What about Gary?
59
00:02:58,610 --> 00:03:00,979
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
60
00:03:01,013 --> 00:03:03,548
[Thunder]
61
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:12,023
How you doing,
Bernardino?
62
00:03:12,057 --> 00:03:13,858
Now, some folks down
at the piggly wiggly
63
00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:15,627
In the produce section,
real upset-- Been there.
64
00:03:15,661 --> 00:03:16,627
You've been there?
Yeah.
65
00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:17,662
They're upset.
66
00:03:17,696 --> 00:03:18,796
You've been there?
67
00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:20,731
Did you see anything while
you were down there?
68
00:03:20,766 --> 00:03:23,468
I haven't been there for...
69
00:03:23,502 --> 00:03:24,903
70 years?
70
00:03:24,937 --> 00:03:26,137
70 years?
Oh.
71
00:03:26,171 --> 00:03:27,172
Yeah. I mean, I haven't
been there for--
72
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:28,940
I mean, I was there
70 years ago, I guess.
73
00:03:28,974 --> 00:03:30,675
You were there
at the piggly wiggly 70 years ago?
74
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,677
Yeah. So it's been
a while.
75
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,746
Yeah, that's
a long time.
76
00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,881
4:20 this afternoon.
Think hard. Produce section.
77
00:03:36,915 --> 00:03:39,016
Area with fruits
and vegetables.
78
00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:44,221
A gentleman, Caucasian,
about 5'10", roller skates,
79
00:03:44,256 --> 00:03:45,657
Which made us
think...
80
00:03:45,691 --> 00:03:47,125
Maybe it's Terry.
81
00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:48,392
Maybe Terry
would know this guy.
82
00:03:48,427 --> 00:03:51,796
Maybe the person that works
there is stupid and ugly.
83
00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:54,499
See, it seems, again,
to me like you might know this person
84
00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:56,000
In the produce
section.
85
00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:57,668
I feel like it's
coming back.
86
00:03:57,703 --> 00:04:00,472
I don't know any
fat women with red hair in the produce section.
87
00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:01,973
All right.
So this is starting to fall into place.
88
00:04:02,007 --> 00:04:04,442
Our witness--
89
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:05,376
Kelly O'Brien--
90
00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:06,710
She sounds
like a bitch.
91
00:04:06,745 --> 00:04:08,713
She was a little thick,
and she wasn't super nice.
92
00:04:08,747 --> 00:04:10,381
She wasn't
super nice.
93
00:04:10,415 --> 00:04:12,283
That's true, but maybe you
got off on the wrong foot
94
00:04:12,317 --> 00:04:15,220
Because what were you doing
in the produce section?
95
00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:18,556
I was... trying fruit on.
96
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,759
Mm-Hmm. That's
exactly what we got.
97
00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:22,193
That's exactly
what she said.
98
00:04:22,227 --> 00:04:23,227
Oh, shit. God!
99
00:04:23,261 --> 00:04:24,362
You see?
100
00:04:24,396 --> 00:04:26,731
Let him go. Let him go.
101
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:27,365
I didn't think
you could skate on grass. Look at that...
102
00:04:27,399 --> 00:04:28,233
I didn't think
so, either.
103
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,934
Look at that son
of a bitch go.
104
00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:35,239
[Thunder]
105
00:04:35,274 --> 00:04:36,240
Leslie: what about Gary?
106
00:04:36,274 --> 00:04:38,342
Oh! What about Gary?!
Oh, I'm Gary.
107
00:04:38,376 --> 00:04:40,010
What about Gary,
whose voice-Over business is being
108
00:04:40,045 --> 00:04:43,948
Lost to India, who I
saw at the gym two weeks ago nearly in tears
109
00:04:43,982 --> 00:04:45,450
About his loss
of income?
110
00:04:45,484 --> 00:04:47,051
[Ominous echoing thud
on soundtrack]
111
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:50,154
We all know
that Deb...
112
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:53,157
Was worth
over...
113
00:04:53,191 --> 00:04:57,395
$400,000.
114
00:04:57,429 --> 00:04:58,729
[Clock chimes]
115
00:04:58,763 --> 00:05:01,232
400,000
US Dollars.
116
00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:03,034
Let me tell you
something
117
00:05:03,068 --> 00:05:06,971
That I have
never told anyone else.
118
00:05:07,005 --> 00:05:12,577
Some miss lady told
me in confidence that she was
119
00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:18,282
Really
Debbie Dangle's sister!
120
00:05:27,192 --> 00:05:29,193
Hey.
121
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:30,528
Are you
arresting him?
122
00:05:30,562 --> 00:05:31,529
Yes, I am. He's--
123
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:32,997
That's awesome.
124
00:05:33,031 --> 00:05:35,800
Just stay back, sir.
OK. I'll stay back.
125
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:39,704
I want to be you
someday when I pass the test to be a cop.
126
00:05:39,738 --> 00:05:41,705
You want to see my gun?
I got a gun.
127
00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:43,240
Whoa, whoa!
Whoa, hey!
128
00:05:43,275 --> 00:05:44,509
Oh, ha ha. Whoa.
129
00:05:44,543 --> 00:05:46,511
You got a permit
for that thing?
130
00:05:46,545 --> 00:05:47,778
Yeah, of course
I got a permit.
131
00:05:47,813 --> 00:05:49,881
Sweet!
Yeah.
132
00:05:49,915 --> 00:05:52,016
This is nice.
Yeah.
133
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,184
Uh-Oh.
134
00:05:53,218 --> 00:05:54,685
Uh-Oh. My gun's
bigger than yours.
135
00:05:54,719 --> 00:05:55,754
Yours is bigger
than mine. Ha ha!
136
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:57,155
Whoa.
137
00:05:57,189 --> 00:05:58,689
So you want to be
a cop, huh?
138
00:05:58,724 --> 00:06:00,024
Yeah.
139
00:06:00,058 --> 00:06:01,526
OK. It ain't as easy
as you might think.
140
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,161
I want to be--My dad
wanted to be one, but he was in jail,
141
00:06:03,195 --> 00:06:06,364
So he couldn't be,
and I'm on Fluoxetine.
142
00:06:06,398 --> 00:06:09,100
It's like Prozac
but for poor people.
143
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,201
Look, if you ever try to
get on the force-- Yeah?
144
00:06:11,236 --> 00:06:12,903
You don't want
to mention any mental disabilities.
145
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:14,072
Oh.
146
00:06:14,106 --> 00:06:15,439
Everyone's got a little
bit of fuck-up, OK?
147
00:06:15,474 --> 00:06:16,574
Yeah.
148
00:06:16,608 --> 00:06:18,642
Yeah. It's a fine
line, you know? Yeah.
149
00:06:18,677 --> 00:06:21,045
But as long as you
know how to navigate it, which I do,
150
00:06:21,079 --> 00:06:22,479
Don't bring it up.
151
00:06:22,514 --> 00:06:23,648
Oh, OK.
152
00:06:23,682 --> 00:06:24,782
OK, thanks.
153
00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:25,783
All right.
154
00:06:25,817 --> 00:06:27,218
OK, dirtbag, time
to go to jail.
155
00:06:27,252 --> 00:06:29,120
Yeah, time
to go to jail.
156
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:30,588
Ha ha! Dirtbag.
157
00:06:30,622 --> 00:06:32,790
Man: hey, do you want me
to take him to jail?
158
00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:35,660
I got a badge. I found
it in a cop car.
159
00:06:35,694 --> 00:06:37,094
My name is
James Dangle.
160
00:06:37,128 --> 00:06:39,764
You're under arrest.
Get in the back of the car.
161
00:06:39,798 --> 00:06:42,033
Ha ha ha! Awesome!
I'll read myself my rights.
162
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,534
Yeah, read yourself
your rights.
163
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,102
I have the right
to remain silent.
164
00:06:49,775 --> 00:06:50,474
[Thunder]
165
00:06:50,509 --> 00:06:51,342
Trudy: she's my half-sister,
166
00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:53,745
And she did try
to kill me several times
167
00:06:53,779 --> 00:06:55,180
When we were kids,
but I didn't want her dead.
168
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:56,981
Dangle:
Deb was your half-sister?
169
00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:58,449
Trudy: yeah. It was
because our dad--
170
00:06:58,483 --> 00:07:00,451
My mom was raped by--
It's a long story.
171
00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:01,952
By American
Indians.
172
00:07:01,987 --> 00:07:02,954
By an American Indian.
173
00:07:02,988 --> 00:07:03,955
On a souvenir hunt.
174
00:07:03,989 --> 00:07:05,856
Right. He also
raped her mom.
175
00:07:05,891 --> 00:07:07,325
Gary: wow.
176
00:07:07,359 --> 00:07:09,627
But I did not want
to kill her, and I did not want her dead,
177
00:07:09,661 --> 00:07:10,828
And I did not kill her.
178
00:07:10,862 --> 00:07:15,633
However, I had
a conversation with someone in this room...
179
00:07:17,536 --> 00:07:22,373
Someone who shall remain
nameless. Jim Dangle!
180
00:07:22,407 --> 00:07:23,774
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
181
00:07:23,809 --> 00:07:26,411
Isn't it true...
182
00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:33,351
That you told me
on the telephone not 4 days ago
183
00:07:33,385 --> 00:07:34,185
That you were
thinking
184
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,821
About buying new shoes
for yourself,
185
00:07:36,855 --> 00:07:40,158
Perhaps in brown,
maybe even in black?
186
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:44,495
I did. I got them
in that Zappos place online.
187
00:07:44,529 --> 00:07:45,630
They're nice.
188
00:07:45,664 --> 00:07:46,798
They're like--These
were not even-- They were, like...
189
00:07:46,832 --> 00:07:47,965
Trudy: that's all
I could think of. That's all I got.
190
00:07:47,999 --> 00:07:48,799
They were half
the list price.
191
00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:50,334
You guys ever go
to Zappos? Oh, yes.
192
00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:51,435
Outstanding.
Next day.
193
00:07:51,469 --> 00:07:52,937
Fabulous shoes. They're
there the next day.
194
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,606
You type in what you want.
You type in your size. If you want a wide--
195
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,274
If you do it after
you've been drinking, it's like magic.
196
00:08:06,384 --> 00:08:08,085
[Thunder]
197
00:08:08,119 --> 00:08:10,421
And I suppose you
all suspect me
198
00:08:10,455 --> 00:08:14,458
Because everyone
knows that Deb never changed her will.
199
00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:17,494
Gary: well, you are
the only one with a gun.
200
00:08:17,529 --> 00:08:19,030
[Thunder]
201
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:21,198
Oh! He's gonna
kill me
202
00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:22,834
To shut me up! Is
that what you're gonna do?
203
00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:24,735
Well, it won't work!
204
00:08:26,905 --> 00:08:28,606
OK, for real,
this is a prop.
205
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,108
This is
a prop gun
206
00:08:30,142 --> 00:08:31,776
Because I was
gonna kill the corpse with it.
207
00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,044
Why do you have
a gun, Leslie?
208
00:08:33,078 --> 00:08:34,378
This is real. This is re--
209
00:08:34,412 --> 00:08:37,048
I knew I had
to defend myself when I came here tonight.
210
00:08:37,082 --> 00:08:38,182
The last time I was
at your trailer,
211
00:08:38,216 --> 00:08:40,418
I saw you'd been
stockpiling cyanide.
212
00:08:40,452 --> 00:08:41,919
What?!
213
00:08:41,953 --> 00:08:43,420
[Thunder]
214
00:08:43,455 --> 00:08:45,656
It's true.
215
00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:48,726
It's true, but that
is because we have
216
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:52,696
A very serious
possum infestation
217
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,331
In the trailer park,
218
00:08:54,365 --> 00:08:57,034
And I knew I wanted
to get rid of those little buggers
219
00:08:57,068 --> 00:08:58,970
Once and for all.
220
00:08:59,004 --> 00:09:00,771
That's why I had it,
and it has nothing to do with the fact
221
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:02,506
That Deb never changed
her will.
222
00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:07,344
And I know that because
I went to the Washoe county hall of records
223
00:09:07,378 --> 00:09:09,247
To do some investigating.
224
00:09:09,281 --> 00:09:10,248
You can do that
online now.
225
00:09:10,282 --> 00:09:11,248
Trudy: you can
do it online.
226
00:09:11,282 --> 00:09:12,249
Can you really?
Yeah.
227
00:09:12,284 --> 00:09:13,350
You really
can?
228
00:09:13,385 --> 00:09:14,519
You can do most
everything online now.
229
00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:15,920
You know what I
found out?
230
00:09:15,954 --> 00:09:17,521
Can you look up
any records, birth certificates...
231
00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:19,457
I found my
great-Uncle's birth certificate online.
232
00:09:19,491 --> 00:09:21,325
The Mormons.
The Mormons do it for free.
233
00:09:21,359 --> 00:09:22,793
Oh, the Mormons. Yeah.
234
00:09:28,733 --> 00:09:30,234
[Speaking Russian]
235
00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:50,387
I'd say it's a--
A sting operation.
236
00:09:50,421 --> 00:09:52,456
Big problem in the
Russian community.
237
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,692
They have these
sex lines with underage girls.
238
00:09:54,726 --> 00:09:56,126
Totally illegal.
239
00:09:56,161 --> 00:09:57,594
We're trying to
trace this guy.
240
00:09:57,629 --> 00:10:00,665
They're the victims.
They're the victims.
241
00:10:00,699 --> 00:10:02,199
[Speaking Russian]
242
00:10:11,576 --> 00:10:13,410
Oh, OK.
That's...
243
00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:14,445
Da!
244
00:10:14,479 --> 00:10:17,915
[Speaking Russian]
245
00:10:17,949 --> 00:10:22,920
Da! Da! Da! Da! Oh!
246
00:10:22,954 --> 00:10:26,090
[Speaking Russian]
247
00:10:26,124 --> 00:10:28,326
OK. OK, wait.
We're gonna make him go too early.
248
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,495
We're gonna blow
him too early.
249
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:32,096
I think maybe
you better tell this boy
250
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:34,198
That you're a little tiny
underage naughty schoolgirl.
251
00:10:34,232 --> 00:10:35,766
Yes.
Rizzo: yeah. That's a good point.
252
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,835
We could nail him
on this.
253
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,303
Jones: that's right.
And maybe--Tell him
254
00:10:39,337 --> 00:10:43,007
That 5 1/2 inches
is plenty big.
255
00:10:44,376 --> 00:10:45,877
[Speaking Russian]
256
00:10:47,045 --> 00:10:49,713
Declan: what are you doing?
257
00:10:49,747 --> 00:10:50,982
Uh...
uh...
258
00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:53,717
Working on that
underage phone sex sting, sarge.
259
00:10:53,751 --> 00:10:54,819
Phone sex sting
operation. All over it.
260
00:10:54,853 --> 00:10:56,320
Declan: that's federal.
That's FCC.
261
00:10:56,354 --> 00:10:58,790
Oh. Ohh. Oh...
262
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,458
Which is why
we're all over it.
263
00:11:00,492 --> 00:11:01,659
Oh!
264
00:11:01,693 --> 00:11:04,095
[Speaking Russian]
265
00:11:04,129 --> 00:11:05,529
It's a real
slow day here.
266
00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:07,398
[Speaking Russian]
267
00:11:07,432 --> 00:11:09,033
Tell the guy, like,
you've been a bad girl,
268
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:10,768
Give you a spanking.
269
00:11:16,808 --> 00:11:19,676
Dangle: let me take
you back in time--
270
00:11:19,711 --> 00:11:25,249
Back in time to
a young scientist named
271
00:11:25,283 --> 00:11:28,619
La Fontaine Williams.
272
00:11:28,653 --> 00:11:30,687
La Fontaine Williams--
273
00:11:30,722 --> 00:11:33,524
Just a young
scientist working
274
00:11:33,558 --> 00:11:35,660
For the Filmore
vacuum cleaner company--
275
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:40,564
The company that belonged
to Debbie's father.
276
00:11:40,598 --> 00:11:43,500
La Fontaine Williams--
Father of Raineesha Williams!
277
00:11:43,534 --> 00:11:45,069
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
278
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:50,374
And was he or
was he not
279
00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:57,147
The inventor of
the couch sucky attachment--
280
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:58,749
The attach--What
do you call them?
281
00:11:58,783 --> 00:12:00,584
The sucky couch...
the couch--
282
00:12:00,618 --> 00:12:02,453
The sucky couch attachment!
283
00:12:02,487 --> 00:12:03,921
Yes, he was!
284
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:09,793
Yes, he was, and, yes, Deb's
people stole from my family!
285
00:12:09,828 --> 00:12:11,595
Yes, they did.
286
00:12:11,629 --> 00:12:13,097
But that doesn't mean
I killed her.
287
00:12:13,131 --> 00:12:15,699
White people steal from
black people all the time.
288
00:12:15,733 --> 00:12:17,835
Our hair care products,
our dances--
289
00:12:17,869 --> 00:12:19,136
The blues.
Rock and roll.
290
00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:20,605
All kinds of stuff.
291
00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:21,805
[Doorbell rings]
292
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,575
I'm going to get the door!
293
00:12:24,609 --> 00:12:27,111
Gary: adorable, fun.
So funny.
294
00:12:27,145 --> 00:12:28,779
Oh, even at a time
like this,
295
00:12:28,813 --> 00:12:30,148
It's just fun
to have her around.
296
00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:31,616
Dangle:
they're a spirited people.
297
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,017
They're like
walking music.
298
00:12:33,051 --> 00:12:35,252
Junior: welcome to
the Caribbean, baby.
299
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:37,321
Aho!
300
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:39,456
You said it was
a dress-up party.
301
00:12:39,490 --> 00:12:41,124
Dangle: OK, so
this is--I meant,
302
00:12:41,159 --> 00:12:42,760
By the way,
just dress up.
303
00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,261
Dress-Up party, you said.
Be there at 8:00.
304
00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:46,397
Dress-Up party.
Pigs in blankets.
305
00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:48,265
Dangle: OK, "A,"
it's almost 9:45.
306
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,168
"B," you're dressed
like Captain Jack.
307
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:52,270
I almost went as
Iron Man, but it was, like, 165 bucks
308
00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:53,771
For a good one.
OK!
309
00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:55,072
Bar is this one.
310
00:12:55,106 --> 00:12:56,506
Super.
Bar is that way.
311
00:12:56,541 --> 00:12:58,108
And let's have
a talk about this on Monday, too.
312
00:12:58,142 --> 00:12:59,677
Uh, my ex-wife
and his ex-wife
313
00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:01,379
And his current
wife is dead.
314
00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:03,381
Junior: yeah. Murder mystery
dinner. I get it.
315
00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:04,882
No, she's really dead.
She's dead.
316
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,250
Yeah, get it.
Murder mystery dinner.
317
00:13:06,284 --> 00:13:07,317
Raineesha: really dead.
Trudy: she died.
318
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:10,154
Oooh. I get it.
What you want to drink?
319
00:13:10,188 --> 00:13:12,223
Stepping over you,
mrs. Dangle.
320
00:13:12,257 --> 00:13:13,891
Trudy: don't step in
that. That's real.
321
00:13:18,396 --> 00:13:20,931
How many times has
this happened to you?
322
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:24,935
You use your credit card
to purchase pornography on the Internet.
323
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,938
Or for adult-themed board
games or novelty items.
324
00:13:27,972 --> 00:13:31,708
And then you're
getting credit card bills
325
00:13:31,743 --> 00:13:34,846
For motor boats
and fancy trips to Paris, France.
326
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,548
What happened?
327
00:13:37,582 --> 00:13:40,418
You are a victim
of identity theft.
328
00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:41,919
That's why I always use...
329
00:13:41,953 --> 00:13:43,420
[Machine clanks]
330
00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:45,623
A secure I.D.--
331
00:13:45,657 --> 00:13:47,725
The Master Bait charge card--
332
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:50,627
The card that's only
for pornography.
333
00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:54,197
No more fancy trips
or boats on me.
334
00:13:54,232 --> 00:13:56,133
Thank you,
Master Bait card.
335
00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:01,972
The Master Bait--
Charge card, that is.
336
00:14:02,006 --> 00:14:03,474
Protect your good name
337
00:14:03,508 --> 00:14:05,809
With a Master Bait
porno-only
338
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,878
Personal credit
card for him or her.
339
00:14:12,718 --> 00:14:15,519
Whoa! Hello, ma'am.
Hi.
340
00:14:15,553 --> 00:14:17,821
Hi. Oh, hi.
341
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,423
Hi, boo.
Hi.
342
00:14:19,457 --> 00:14:21,258
Hi. Hi.
343
00:14:21,292 --> 00:14:24,494
I really--I'm really--
I'm really, I'm really, really, really glad
344
00:14:24,529 --> 00:14:25,996
That you're here because
I was in distress.
345
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,932
OK. What's--
346
00:14:27,966 --> 00:14:29,600
Damsel in distress.
347
00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:31,835
What is the nature of
your emergency, ma'am? What's going on?
348
00:14:31,869 --> 00:14:34,204
I was hoping that
you could help me bust up a chifforobe.
349
00:14:36,808 --> 00:14:38,542
I'll give you a dollar.
350
00:14:38,576 --> 00:14:40,344
Ma'am, I'm a--I'm
a police officer.
351
00:14:40,378 --> 00:14:42,479
I'm here
for emergency...
352
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:43,981
This is an emergency.
353
00:14:44,015 --> 00:14:47,852
Situations, and I'm
not here to bust up chifforobes or--
354
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:50,287
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
355
00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:54,391
You would not be here
if you did not feel what I feel,
356
00:14:54,425 --> 00:14:56,593
Like what I
feel right now,
357
00:14:56,628 --> 00:14:58,428
Like the birds are humming
in the background,
358
00:14:58,463 --> 00:15:01,232
The air is perfect, OK?
359
00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:03,334
I just
finished spaghetti.
360
00:15:03,368 --> 00:15:05,435
Like, everything
is working out.
361
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,204
Lady, listen... um--
362
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,339
Thank you for
calling me a lady. I can't--
363
00:15:09,373 --> 00:15:11,675
That only makes me like
you so much more
364
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:14,178
Because you are
a gentleman, you know?
365
00:15:14,212 --> 00:15:16,546
Like, there are so
few gentlemen out there,
366
00:15:16,581 --> 00:15:19,149
Especially gentlemen that
are willing to come here
367
00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:22,886
And bust up
a chifforobe for a dollar.
368
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:25,722
Like, that is really ju--
369
00:15:25,756 --> 00:15:27,157
Don't follow me.
370
00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:29,559
See you tomorrow!
371
00:15:32,397 --> 00:15:36,033
I should have never
put my dick in her.
372
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,001
See, that's my fault.
Shame on me.
373
00:15:38,036 --> 00:15:39,403
Shame on me.
374
00:15:43,441 --> 00:15:46,310
[Thunder]
375
00:15:52,116 --> 00:15:55,119
Look, I'm really
sorry about your loss. It's never easy.
376
00:15:55,153 --> 00:15:58,388
We're gonna run
outside, do a quick toxicology report.
377
00:15:58,423 --> 00:16:00,825
We'll be back in,
and, um...
378
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,794
Captain Jack?
379
00:16:03,828 --> 00:16:07,631
He said it was
a dress-up party. OK.
380
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:08,765
[Gary crying]
381
00:16:08,799 --> 00:16:11,301
Dangle:
oh, give it a rest. Give it a rest!
382
00:16:11,336 --> 00:16:12,702
Give it a rest.
383
00:16:12,737 --> 00:16:14,905
Well, nobody asked me,
384
00:16:14,939 --> 00:16:20,010
But the one with
the most motive to kill Debbie Dangle Frost--
385
00:16:20,044 --> 00:16:21,112
Williams.
386
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,279
What?
387
00:16:22,313 --> 00:16:23,446
Revenge is sweet,
ain't it, Williams?
388
00:16:23,481 --> 00:16:24,682
No. I--
389
00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:26,617
Especially since
your daddy did have
390
00:16:26,651 --> 00:16:29,619
The patent on
the Filmore vacuum nozzle
391
00:16:29,654 --> 00:16:32,656
That would make you
worth over $400,000,
392
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:35,025
And you'd never have to
sheriff again, would you?
393
00:16:35,059 --> 00:16:37,327
What jus--No.
394
00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:40,297
But what you know, and what
you told me once when you were really drunk
395
00:16:40,331 --> 00:16:43,066
But you probably
don't remember is, your dad also pulled out
396
00:16:43,101 --> 00:16:46,236
A patent on Mousetrap,
the board game,
397
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:47,837
And that was 8, 9 years
after Parker brothers
398
00:16:47,872 --> 00:16:49,339
Had it on the shelves.
399
00:16:49,373 --> 00:16:51,641
He tried to patent
beaver shots--
400
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:55,345
Just the term
"beaver shots," "threepeat"
401
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:56,813
Way after Phil Jackson
had the patent.
402
00:16:56,847 --> 00:16:57,814
OK, OK, OK.
403
00:16:57,849 --> 00:17:00,484
Yeah. Batshit
crazy bananas.
404
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,385
So cross you
off the list,
405
00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:05,022
And that brings
us to Trudy Wiegel.
406
00:17:07,158 --> 00:17:09,159
Debbie really did
treat you like a cunt, didn't she?
407
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,360
She did.
She was bad.
408
00:17:10,394 --> 00:17:12,128
Really, really,
really horrible.
409
00:17:12,163 --> 00:17:14,364
But what people
in the room don't know and only you do know
410
00:17:14,399 --> 00:17:16,032
Is that when she was
having all that problems
411
00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:18,335
From the gastric
bypass surgery,
412
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,003
Trudy gave her a kidney.
413
00:17:20,038 --> 00:17:21,705
I did. I also tried to
give her my gall bladder,
414
00:17:21,739 --> 00:17:23,540
But it had already
been removed. Yeah.
415
00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:25,876
Didn't want it,
didn't need one, didn't want it.
416
00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:28,012
That brings us to
Leslie over here.
417
00:17:28,046 --> 00:17:29,713
Real good motive,
considering
418
00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:33,150
That he probably
thought that he was still in her will.
419
00:17:33,184 --> 00:17:37,121
But what people here
don't know is
420
00:17:37,155 --> 00:17:39,056
That your father's a pretty
well-known politician,
421
00:17:39,090 --> 00:17:44,061
And he pays Leslie Frost here
a stipend of $40,000 a month...
422
00:17:44,095 --> 00:17:45,395
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
423
00:17:45,429 --> 00:17:48,399
To stay out of
Hartford, Connecticut.
424
00:17:48,433 --> 00:17:50,134
That brings us
to big boy here.
425
00:17:50,168 --> 00:17:53,971
Obviously a man like
this would only marry a lady like Debbie Dangle
426
00:17:54,005 --> 00:17:57,274
For money, but--
Puh-Leez.
427
00:17:57,308 --> 00:18:00,510
The reason that I
was late to this fancy little accusatory fest
428
00:18:00,545 --> 00:18:03,647
You got going here is
I was out behind the dumpster with Cindy,
429
00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:05,749
Finishing a Mickey's
big mouth I was hoping to parlay
430
00:18:05,783 --> 00:18:07,284
Into a hand job.
431
00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:11,255
And that's when I
heard this young gentleman fucking
432
00:18:11,289 --> 00:18:14,958
Debbie Dangle Frost
8 ways till Sunday.
433
00:18:14,992 --> 00:18:16,494
Guilty.
434
00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:20,563
I hate to blow your
cover, but this man-- Flaming heterosexual.
435
00:18:20,598 --> 00:18:21,665
Gary: flaming.
436
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:22,799
"Oh, pussy!"
437
00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:24,134
You could hear it
in his voice. Oh, pussy.
438
00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:26,136
Car rockin'.
Oh, I love pussy.
439
00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:28,171
Dangle: that
explains a lot.
440
00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:29,507
And that only leaves
one person...
441
00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:31,141
[Thunder]
442
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:32,543
Jim Dangle.
443
00:18:43,922 --> 00:18:47,824
Jim Dangle, who
two days ago went to the hall of records
444
00:18:47,858 --> 00:18:52,062
To verify that he
was indeed still the sole benefactor
445
00:18:52,096 --> 00:18:55,432
Of Debbie Dangle's
will, which he was.
446
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,602
Not only is his trailer
full of cyanide,
447
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:02,640
He also two weekends
ago volunteered
448
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:06,176
To take an unpaid
toxicology course
449
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,845
At the sheriff's department
down in Carson city.
450
00:19:08,879 --> 00:19:12,315
Unpaid 8 hours on a
weekend to study toxicology.
451
00:19:12,349 --> 00:19:13,784
I love my job.
452
00:19:13,818 --> 00:19:16,186
A man with that
much cyanide,
453
00:19:16,220 --> 00:19:20,190
A man with that
certificate in toxicology--
454
00:19:20,224 --> 00:19:21,258
And it wasn't
really a degree;
455
00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:22,860
It was just
a little certificate
456
00:19:22,894 --> 00:19:24,361
That they issued
to you--
457
00:19:24,395 --> 00:19:26,263
Would know that if
you drank one glass of white wine,
458
00:19:26,297 --> 00:19:29,633
You'd be fine;
two, you'd be OK;
459
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:33,169
But if you snorted
down half a bottle like the water buffalo
460
00:19:33,204 --> 00:19:38,842
That was Debbie Dangle Frost,
you'd be as dead...
461
00:19:38,876 --> 00:19:41,745
Well, as dead as
Debbie Dangle Frost.
462
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:44,114
Take him away, Williams.
Yes.
463
00:19:44,148 --> 00:19:45,748
[Empty gun clicks]
464
00:19:45,783 --> 00:19:47,451
Gary: put it down.
It's a prop, you idiot. You already told us.
465
00:19:47,485 --> 00:19:49,253
You was gonna
shoot me?
466
00:19:49,287 --> 00:19:52,922
I panicked.
I panicked. Sorry.
467
00:19:52,957 --> 00:19:56,093
You's got the right
to remain silent,
468
00:19:56,127 --> 00:19:57,928
And anythings you say
shall be used against you in a court of law.
469
00:19:57,962 --> 00:19:59,596
You're making
a mistake.
470
00:19:59,630 --> 00:20:01,899
Why would I do it?
Except for the money and for personal reasons.
471
00:20:01,933 --> 00:20:04,300
Junior: you can drop
the act, Dangle.
472
00:20:04,335 --> 00:20:05,836
Cindy: oh, my gosh.
473
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:10,440
We ran a report,
and it seems that little miss former fatty
474
00:20:10,474 --> 00:20:13,244
Had one too many pigs
in a blanket.
475
00:20:13,278 --> 00:20:14,778
It compromised
the integrity of her lower bowel.
476
00:20:14,812 --> 00:20:16,980
Her stomach exploded.
The staples came out. It's not murder.
477
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:18,782
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
478
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:20,184
[Inhales]
oh. Wow. No, no, no.
479
00:20:20,218 --> 00:20:23,119
Don't worry.
She was a real cunt of a woman.
480
00:20:23,154 --> 00:20:24,621
[Thunder]
481
00:20:24,655 --> 00:20:26,624
[Organ playing]
482
00:20:26,658 --> 00:20:28,258
Junior: hey, let's not
tell Dangle.
483
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:29,626
Wiegel: stir-fried mice.
484
00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:30,760
[Laughter]
485
00:20:30,795 --> 00:20:33,163
Captioning made possible by
MTV networks
486
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:40,103
I was at...
the chicken and skate.
487
00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:41,071
Junior: you were at
the chicken and skate. OK.
488
00:20:41,105 --> 00:20:41,972
Rizzo: the chicken
and skate.
489
00:20:42,006 --> 00:20:42,972
Terry: kids skate in
a little rink,
490
00:20:43,007 --> 00:20:43,707
And they skate
around,
491
00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:44,641
And then they
would have the guy
492
00:20:44,675 --> 00:20:45,776
With the little chicken,
and he would go--
493
00:20:45,810 --> 00:20:47,077
And he would throw
chicken at you.
494
00:20:47,111 --> 00:20:49,579
Rizzo: oh, what
a great place to take the family.
495
00:20:49,614 --> 00:20:52,081
Terry: it was so
perfect for families.
496
00:20:52,116 --> 00:20:52,916
Rizzo: yeah.
497
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:53,751
Junior: it was perfect
for families.
498
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:55,252
Terry: my daddy used
to bring me there.
499
00:20:55,286 --> 00:20:57,254
Junior: yeah. It
makes me sad nowadays
500
00:20:57,288 --> 00:20:59,556
That there ain't
a place where you can skate
501
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:00,490
And have
people...
502
00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:01,358
[Imitates projectile
firing]
503
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:02,760
Throw their chicken at you.
I know.
504
00:21:02,794 --> 00:21:03,727
Rizzo: I'm getting
all nostalgic.
505
00:21:03,777 --> 00:21:08,327
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