Original subtitles

>> yes, donut.

>> yes, donut.

>> yes, donut. >> more like fuck yes, donut.

>> more like fuck yes, donut.

>> more like fuck yes, donut. 5% discount for law

5% discount for law

5% discount for law enforcement. Arigato!

Hey, do I know you?

Hey, do I know you?

Hey, do I know you? I know you.

I know you.

I know you. >> yes.

>> yes.

>> yes. >> you don't go to the rainbow

>> you don't go to the rainbow

>> you don't go to the rainbow ever, do you?

Ever, do you?

Ever, do you? >> mm-mmm.

>> mm-mmm.

>> mm-mmm. >> no.

>> no.

>> no. >> you go to any piano bars? No?

>> you go to any piano bars? No?

>> you go to any piano bars? No? >> no. Do you have a nickname,

>> no. Do you have a nickname,

>> no. Do you have a nickname, cinnamon?

Cinnamon?

Cinnamon? >> no. Not that. I have some

>> no. Not that. I have some

>> no. Not that. I have some nicknames, but not that.

Nicknames, but not that.

Nicknames, but not that. >> oh.

>> oh.

>> oh. >> hey. Oh, I got it. I got it.

>> hey. Oh, I got it. I got it.

>> hey. Oh, I got it. I got it. Uh...Uh...That cruise.

Uh...Uh...That cruise.

Uh...Uh...That cruise. That sort of specialty cruise?

That sort of specialty cruise?

That sort of specialty cruise? >> no. I've never been

>> no. I've never been

>> no. I've never been on a cruise.

On a cruise.

On a cruise. >> you didn't go on a specialty

>> you didn't go on a specialty

>> you didn't go on a specialty cruise? I've seen you somewhere.

Cruise? I've seen you somewhere.

Cruise? I've seen you somewhere. >> it's nice to meet you again.

>> it's nice to meet you again.

>> it's nice to meet you again. >> great meeting you and seeing

>> great meeting you and seeing

>> great meeting you and seeing you again.

You again.

You again. >> I'll see you around.

>> I'll see you around.

>> I'll see you around. >> see ya.

>> see ya.

>> see ya. >> all right, let's be cool!

>> all right, let's be cool!

>> all right, let's be cool! You're cool, I don't freak

You're cool, I don't freak

You're cool, I don't freak out! Empty the register!

Out! Empty the register!

Out! Empty the register! [gunshot]

[gunshot]

[gunshot] >> wanted poster. Wanted poster

>> wanted poster. Wanted poster

>> wanted poster. Wanted poster at the post office.

At the post office.

At the post office. [captioning made possible by

[captioning made possible by

[captioning made possible by mtv networks]

>> did somebody take my orange?

>> did somebody take my orange?

>> did somebody take my orange? Trudy: Yeah. I ate it.

Trudy: Yeah. I ate it.

Trudy: Yeah. I ate it. Rai: Trudy.

Rai: Trudy.

Rai: Trudy. >> uh, you know, I wanted to

>> uh, you know, I wanted to

>> uh, you know, I wanted to ask you is--this weekend I'm

Ask you is--this weekend I'm

Ask you is--this weekend I'm having a--well, every weekend,

Having a--well, every weekend,

Having a--well, every weekend, basically, I do a mixer, a

Basically, I do a mixer, a

Basically, I do a mixer, a little social singles mixer. And

Little social singles mixer. And

Little social singles mixer. And I just thought it'd be nice to

I just thought it'd be nice to

I just thought it'd be nice to ask if you wanted to come along

Ask if you wanted to come along

Ask if you wanted to come along this weekend.

This weekend.

This weekend. >> oh.

>> oh.

>> oh. >> it's a good time. I mean, we

>> it's a good time. I mean, we

>> it's a good time. I mean, we get crazy.

Get crazy.

Get crazy. >> yes.

>> yes.

>> yes. >> oh, that's great.

>> oh, that's great.

>> oh, that's great. >> are you all dating?

>> are you all dating?

>> are you all dating? >> oh, shut up.

>> oh, shut up.

>> oh, shut up. >> I'm just asking. You only

>> I'm just asking. You only

>> I'm just asking. You only asked one person. That sounds

Asked one person. That sounds

Asked one person. That sounds like a date.

Like a date.

Like a date. >> I'm only allowed to ask one

>> I'm only allowed to ask one

>> I'm only allowed to ask one person. And no, it is not a

Person. And no, it is not a

Person. And no, it is not a date.

Date.

Date. >> and you asked a woman. You

>> and you asked a woman. You

>> and you asked a woman. You asked another woman.

Asked another woman.

Asked another woman. >> I asked a woman, and I'll

>> I asked a woman, and I'll

>> I asked a woman, and I'll tell you why. Because there are

Tell you why. Because there are

Tell you why. Because there are a lot of gentlemen there.

A lot of gentlemen there.

A lot of gentlemen there. >> I can't go anyway. I'm

>> I can't go anyway. I'm

>> I can't go anyway. I'm having a make-out party at my

Having a make-out party at my

Having a make-out party at my house, so I guess you guys won't

House, so I guess you guys won't

House, so I guess you guys won't be able to come. It's gonna be

Be able to come. It's gonna be

Be able to come. It's gonna be pretty hot. I rented a couple of

Pretty hot. I rented a couple of

Pretty hot. I rented a couple of lava lamps. It's gonna be

Lava lamps. It's gonna be

Lava lamps. It's gonna be sweet.

Sheriff's department.

Sheriff's department.

Sheriff's department. >> mike, you home?

>> mike, you home?

>> mike, you home? >> mike? Brenda? Mike?

>> mike? Brenda? Mike?

>> mike? Brenda? Mike? >> aw, jeez. Aw shit

>> aw, jeez. Aw shit

>> aw, jeez. Aw shit >> mike?

>> mike?

>> mike? >> mike? Mike? Oh, my god.

>> mike? Mike? Oh, my god.

>> mike? Mike? Oh, my god. You ok, mike? Mike? Mike!

You ok, mike? Mike? Mike!

You ok, mike? Mike? Mike! >> get a paramedic. Get a

>> get a paramedic. Get a

>> get a paramedic. Get a paramedic.

Paramedic.

Paramedic. >> mike. Mike. Mike? Mike?

>> mike. Mike. Mike? Mike?

>> mike. Mike. Mike? Mike? Come on, mike.

Come on, mike.

Come on, mike. No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Mike! No. Jeez. Cut it out!

No! Mike! No. Jeez. Cut it out!

No! Mike! No. Jeez. Cut it out! >> mike! Mike! Mike! No!

>> mike! Mike! Mike! No!

>> mike! Mike! Mike! No! >> god damn it! God damn it!

>> god damn it! God damn it!

>> god damn it! God damn it! >> you all right?

>> you all right?

>> you all right? >> that was weird. I thought he

>> that was weird. I thought he

>> that was weird. I thought he was someone else. In my

Was someone else. In my

Was someone else. In my pass-out, dream had.

Pass-out, dream had.

Pass-out, dream had. >> the tongue part came out when

>> the tongue part came out when

>> the tongue part came out when you thought I was someone else,

You thought I was someone else,

You thought I was someone else, huh?

Huh?

Huh? >> I guess so.

>> I guess so.

>> I guess so. >> mike, who did you exactly

>> mike, who did you exactly

>> mike, who did you exactly think I was?

Think I was?

Think I was? >> I got this super-hot cousin,

>> I got this super-hot cousin,

>> I got this super-hot cousin, carla.

Carla.

Carla. >> crystal meth just eats the

>> crystal meth just eats the

>> crystal meth just eats the brain. Eats the brain. It ain't

Brain. Eats the brain. It ain't

Brain. Eats the brain. It ain't even funny.

Even funny.

Even funny. >> mike, can I show you a

>> mike, can I show you a

>> mike, can I show you a picture? Mike, look here. Ok,

Picture? Mike, look here. Ok,

Picture? Mike, look here. Ok, here's your brain.

Here's your brain.

Here's your brain. Mike: Right.

Mike: Right.

Mike: Right. >> this is your brain, you see?

>> this is your brain, you see?

>> this is your brain, you see? >> that is a giant brain. Look

>> that is a giant brain. Look

>> that is a giant brain. Look at that. That's a giant brain.

At that. That's a giant brain.

At that. That's a giant brain. Hey, everybody, it's mike's

Hey, everybody, it's mike's

Hey, everybody, it's mike's giant brain.

Giant brain.

Giant brain. >> you're missing the point,

>> you're missing the point,

>> you're missing the point, mike. You're missing the point.

Mike. You're missing the point.

Mike. You're missing the point. >> he's not drawing it to scale.

>> he's not drawing it to scale.

>> he's not drawing it to scale. He's trying to illustrate a

He's trying to illustrate a

He's trying to illustrate a percentage.

Percentage.

Percentage. Mike: Galoop! It's all in there.

Mike: Galoop! It's all in there.

Mike: Galoop! It's all in there. Thinking, working, making a

Thinking, working, making a

Thinking, working, making a moat, partying down. Woo! Doing

Moat, partying down. Woo! Doing

Moat, partying down. Woo! Doing it up.

It up.

It up. >> kind of whistle.

>> kind of whistle.

>> kind of whistle. >> here's what happens. Here's

>> here's what happens. Here's

>> here's what happens. Here's crystal meth, ok? You know that

Crystal meth, ok? You know that

Crystal meth, ok? You know that meth that you cook up sometimes

Meth that you cook up sometimes

Meth that you cook up sometimes out there?

Out there?

Out there? >> no.

>> no.

>> no. >> it goes like this.

>> it goes like this.

>> it goes like this. >> see that? Scrambled.

>> see that? Scrambled.

>> see that? Scrambled. >> oh, no. Where's all my

>> oh, no. Where's all my

>> oh, no. Where's all my productive thoughts?

Productive thoughts?

Productive thoughts? >> here's mike's giant brain.

>> here's mike's giant brain.

>> here's mike's giant brain. See? Whoo! It's crystal meth

See? Whoo! It's crystal meth

See? Whoo! It's crystal meth all in here. Look at all this

All in here. Look at all this

All in here. Look at all this area that is untouched.

>> nice parking, man. I can't

>> nice parking, man. I can't

>> nice parking, man. I can't get out.

Get out.

Get out. >> you all right?

>> you all right?

>> you all right? >> oh, well, look who's here.

>> oh, well, look who's here.

>> oh, well, look who's here. It's the police.

It's the police.

It's the police. >> we've been getting calls...

>> we've been getting calls...

>> we've been getting calls... >> we've had about three or four

>> we've had about three or four

>> we've had about three or four calls that there was something

Calls that there was something

Calls that there was something going on here in the park.

Going on here in the park.

Going on here in the park. >> neighbors across the street

>> neighbors across the street

>> neighbors across the street have been complaining about some

Have been complaining about some

Have been complaining about some sort of weird behavior.

Sort of weird behavior.

Sort of weird behavior. >> no. No, not at all. I'm here

>> no. No, not at all. I'm here

>> no. No, not at all. I'm here talking to people about a

Talking to people about a

Talking to people about a program I offer. But certainly

Program I offer. But certainly

Program I offer. But certainly there's nothing going on that

There's nothing going on that

There's nothing going on that would be considered untoward.

Would be considered untoward.

Would be considered untoward. Well, I hope you find the

Well, I hope you find the

Well, I hope you find the person. And I'd better get

Person. And I'd better get

Person. And I'd better get going.

Going.

Going. >> whoa, ho, ho, whoa.

>> whoa, ho, ho, whoa.

>> whoa, ho, ho, whoa. >> people my age have to stay

>> people my age have to stay

>> people my age have to stay ambulatory.

Ambulatory.

Ambulatory. >> sir, if you wouldn't mind

>> sir, if you wouldn't mind

>> sir, if you wouldn't mind being non-ambulatory for one

Being non-ambulatory for one

Being non-ambulatory for one second. Could you tell us about

Second. Could you tell us about

Second. Could you tell us about your program?

Your program?

Your program? >> what is your program, sir?

>> what is your program, sir?

>> what is your program, sir? >> nothing at all. I'm

>> nothing at all. I'm

>> nothing at all. I'm processing payments for

Processing payments for

Processing payments for cryogenics so no one ever has

Cryogenics so no one ever has

Cryogenics so no one ever has to die. That's all.

To die. That's all.

To die. That's all. >> can I get some

>> can I get some

>> can I get some identification?

Identification?

Identification? >> maybe a permit for your

>> maybe a permit for your

>> maybe a permit for your program. A little I.D.

Program. A little I.D.

Program. A little I.D. >> a license.

>> a license.

>> a license. >> I don't carry identification.

>> I don't carry identification.

>> I don't carry identification. Having lived through the

Having lived through the

Having lived through the depression, we don't--a lot of

Depression, we don't--a lot of

Depression, we don't--a lot of people my age--believe in the

People my age--believe in the

People my age--believe in the identification, with the failure

Identification, with the failure

Identification, with the failure of the banks which occurred.

Of the banks which occurred.

Of the banks which occurred. Good day, gentlemen.

Good day, gentlemen.

Good day, gentlemen. >> the depression...

>> the depression...

>> the depression... >> the depression was in 1930,

>> the depression was in 1930,

>> the depression was in 1930, sir.

Sir.

Sir. >> yes. Very good. 1930s. The

>> yes. Very good. 1930s. The

>> yes. Very good. 1930s. The golden age of hollywood.

Golden age of hollywood.

Golden age of hollywood. >> yeah, I think what's crashed

>> yeah, I think what's crashed

>> yeah, I think what's crashed is your mind.

Is your mind.

Is your mind. >> what--say it again now.

>> what--say it again now.

>> what--say it again now. >> you couldn't be that old,

>> you couldn't be that old,

>> you couldn't be that old, sir. You're probably...

Sir. You're probably...

Sir. You're probably... >> you're telling a fib.

>> you're telling a fib.

>> you're telling a fib. >> can I be honest with you?

>> can I be honest with you?

>> can I be honest with you? >> yes, you can. We'd like that.

>> yes, you can. We'd like that.

>> yes, you can. We'd like that. >> there you go.

>> there you go.

>> there you go. >> I'm not as old as I'm

>> I'm not as old as I'm

>> I'm not as old as I'm behaving that I am?

Behaving that I am?

Behaving that I am? >> yeah. Thank you for using

>> yeah. Thank you for using

>> yeah. Thank you for using your voice, your real voice.

Your voice, your real voice.

Your voice, your real voice. >> you like to do fantasies.

>> you like to do fantasies.

>> you like to do fantasies. >> uh, shooting.

>> uh, shooting.

>> uh, shooting. >> hold!

>> hold!

>> hold! >> ok. Here we go.

>> ok. Here we go.

>> ok. Here we go. >> oh, jeez, you guys are fast.

>> oh, jeez, you guys are fast.

>> oh, jeez, you guys are fast. >> what are you doing? This is

>> what are you doing? This is

>> what are you doing? This is not an approved carry of a

Not an approved carry of a

Not an approved carry of a suspect, is it?

Suspect, is it?

Suspect, is it? >> this is humiliating.

>> this is humiliating.

>> this is humiliating. Can I just walk?

Can I just walk?

Can I just walk? >>can you walk?

>>can you walk?

>>can you walk? >>don't you try to run.

>>don't you try to run.

>>don't you try to run. >>why would I try to run?

>>why would I try to run?

>>why would I try to run? I'd be happy to walk.

I'd be happy to walk.

I'd be happy to walk. >>no! No!

>> ♪ go tell it, go tell it,

>> ♪ go tell it, go tell it,

>> ♪ go tell it, go tell it, yo, go tell it on the mountain,

Yo, go tell it on the mountain,

Yo, go tell it on the mountain, down in a lowly manger, the

Down in a lowly manger, the

Down in a lowly manger, the humble christ was born, and god

Humble christ was born, and god

Humble christ was born, and god sent us salvation ♪

Sent us salvation ♪

Sent us salvation ♪ >> yeah!

>> yeah!

>> yeah! >> ♪ that blessed christmas

>> ♪ that blessed christmas

>> ♪ that blessed christmas morn, go tell it, go tell it,

Morn, go tell it, go tell it,

Morn, go tell it, go tell it, yo, go tell it on the mountain,

Yo, go tell it on the mountain,

Yo, go tell it on the mountain, go tell it, go tell it, yo, go

Go tell it, go tell it, yo, go

Go tell it, go tell it, yo, go tell it on the mountain, word ♪

Tell it on the mountain, word ♪

Tell it on the mountain, word ♪ >> I love hip-hop.

>> I love hip-hop.

>> I love hip-hop. >> it's fun, isn't it? Don't

>> it's fun, isn't it? Don't

>> it's fun, isn't it? Don't forget. We have christ cakes

Forget. We have christ cakes

Forget. We have christ cakes and sandwiches and lots of stuff

And sandwiches and lots of stuff

And sandwiches and lots of stuff to drink.

To drink.

To drink. >> knockers. Knockers.

>> knockers. Knockers.

>> knockers. Knockers. >> uh-oh.

>> uh-oh.

>> uh-oh. >> every--come here. Come here.

>> every--come here. Come here.

>> every--come here. Come here. Everybody, I have--this is not

Everybody, I have--this is not

Everybody, I have--this is not an angel, although I know it

An angel, although I know it

An angel, although I know it looks like it.

Looks like it.

Looks like it. >> it's definitely not an angel.

>> it's definitely not an angel.

>> it's definitely not an angel. >> I want y'all to meet my

>> I want y'all to meet my

>> I want y'all to meet my good friend, clementine. Some

Good friend, clementine. Some

Good friend, clementine. Some people call her clemmie. Now,

People call her clemmie. Now,

People call her clemmie. Now, this is paul, my good friend.

This is paul, my good friend.

This is paul, my good friend. That's james.

That's james.

That's james. Clemmie: Stetson. I like

Clemmie: Stetson. I like

Clemmie: Stetson. I like that.

That.

That. >> is that what this is you're

>> is that what this is you're

>> is that what this is you're wearing?

Wearing?

Wearing? >> head and shoulders.

>> head and shoulders.

>> head and shoulders. Oh, yes. Wow. I didn't know this

Oh, yes. Wow. I didn't know this

Oh, yes. Wow. I didn't know this was gonna be this kind of a

Was gonna be this kind of a

Was gonna be this kind of a party. Yeah.

Party. Yeah.

Party. Yeah. >> yeah, well, we're not all

>> yeah, well, we're not all

>> yeah, well, we're not all square.

Square.

Square. >> well, I like that. So,

>> well, I like that. So,

>> well, I like that. So, who's a virgin? I'm just

Who's a virgin? I'm just

Who's a virgin? I'm just curious. Ok, you can be on her

Curious. Ok, you can be on her

Curious. Ok, you can be on her team. You can be on her team.

Team. You can be on her team.

Team. You can be on her team. >> ♪ on a hill far away, stood

>> ♪ on a hill far away, stood

>> ♪ on a hill far away, stood an old rugged cross, the emblem

An old rugged cross, the emblem

An old rugged cross, the emblem of suffering and shame ♪

Of suffering and shame ♪

Of suffering and shame ♪ >> but I was so top-heavy that

>> but I was so top-heavy that

>> but I was so top-heavy that it made me--I was disqualified

It made me--I was disqualified

It made me--I was disqualified before I even got on the mat

Before I even got on the mat

Before I even got on the mat sometimes.

Sometimes.

Sometimes. >> they wouldn't let you on the

>> they wouldn't let you on the

>> they wouldn't let you on the mat?

Mat?

Mat? >> 'cause it was like "poof"

>> 'cause it was like "poof"

>> 'cause it was like "poof" and then "paah" and then there

And then "paah" and then there

And then "paah" and then there was--you know. So I said

Was--you know. So I said

Was--you know. So I said fuck it. I'll just drop out

Fuck it. I'll just drop out

Fuck it. I'll just drop out of high school.

Of high school.

Of high school. >> ♪ so I'll cherish the old

>> ♪ so I'll cherish the old

>> ♪ so I'll cherish the old rugged cross, the old rugged

Rugged cross, the old rugged

Rugged cross, the old rugged cross ♪

Cross ♪

Cross ♪ >> pull my finger. [belches]

>> pull my finger. [belches]

>> pull my finger. [belches] here's the church. Here's the

Here's the church. Here's the

Here's the church. Here's the steeple. Open the doors. See all

Steeple. Open the doors. See all

Steeple. Open the doors. See all the people. And these two guys

The people. And these two guys

The people. And these two guys won't sit down.

>> lord, I wanna thank you

>> lord, I wanna thank you

>> lord, I wanna thank you especially for my good friend,

Especially for my good friend,

Especially for my good friend, clementine, coming here and

Clementine, coming here and

Clementine, coming here and showing up as she is.

Showing up as she is.

Showing up as she is. >> man: Mm-hmm.

>> man: Mm-hmm.

>> man: Mm-hmm. >> a woman soiled, a woman with

>> a woman soiled, a woman with

>> a woman soiled, a woman with a whorish, sinful past.

A whorish, sinful past.

A whorish, sinful past. >> who has just been waxed

>> who has just been waxed

>> who has just been waxed thoroughly, as of 4 p.M. Today.

Thoroughly, as of 4 p.M. Today.

Thoroughly, as of 4 p.M. Today. You may all lay your hands upon

You may all lay your hands upon

You may all lay your hands upon me. Would anyone like to lay

Me. Would anyone like to lay

Me. Would anyone like to lay hands?

Hands?

Hands? Cheresa: That's a different...

Cheresa: That's a different...

Cheresa: That's a different... You must be thinking of a diff--

You must be thinking of a diff--

You must be thinking of a diff-- >> or touch my garment. Lord,

>> or touch my garment. Lord,

>> or touch my garment. Lord, will you please smite those

Will you please smite those

Will you please smite those mother fuckers

Mother fuckers

Mother fuckers that mess around with

That mess around with

That mess around with children. I'm sorry. I

Children. I'm sorry. I

Children. I'm sorry. I personally don't like children

Personally don't like children

Personally don't like children myself, but they don't deserve

Myself, but they don't deserve

Myself, but they don't deserve that, ok? I want you to send a

That, ok? I want you to send a

That, ok? I want you to send a lightning bolt..Out of their

Lightning bolt..Out of their

Lightning bolt..Out of their assholes lord. And rapists too.

Assholes lord. And rapists too.

Assholes lord. And rapists too. Lord, set them on fire with

Lord, set them on fire with

Lord, set them on fire with fiery syphilis so that they pee

Fiery syphilis so that they pee

Fiery syphilis so that they pee fire out of their dickholes.

Fire out of their dickholes.

Fire out of their dickholes. [belches] sorry. That was

[belches] sorry. That was

[belches] sorry. That was probably very stinky.

Probably very stinky.

Probably very stinky. >> very good job.

>> very good job.

>> very good job. >> that was very good.

>> that was very good.

>> that was very good. >> whoo-hoo!

>> whoo-hoo!

>> whoo-hoo! >> yes! Yeah!

>> yes! Yeah!

>> yes! Yeah! >> I cheated. I cheated. I

>> I cheated. I cheated. I

>> I cheated. I cheated. I cheated. Ohh! Whoo! I'm so

Cheated. Ohh! Whoo! I'm so

Cheated. Ohh! Whoo! I'm so wasted. I'm wasted. I'm wasted.

Wasted. I'm wasted. I'm wasted.

Wasted. I'm wasted. I'm wasted. [snorts]

[snorts]

[snorts] >> it's nonalcoholic beer.

>> it's nonalcoholic beer.

>> it's nonalcoholic beer. >> there's no alcohol in it.

[hip-hop playing loudly]

[hip-hop playing loudly]

[hip-hop playing loudly] >> do you mind turning the music

>> do you mind turning the music

>> do you mind turning the music down? Turn the music dow--

Down? Turn the music dow--

Down? Turn the music dow-- [music turns off]

[music turns off]

[music turns off] >> thank you. Can I see your

>> thank you. Can I see your

>> thank you. Can I see your license and registration, proof

License and registration, proof

License and registration, proof of insurance? Lady called us up,

Of insurance? Lady called us up,

Of insurance? Lady called us up, and she was just mad as hell

And she was just mad as hell

And she was just mad as hell 'cause a couple of kids were

'cause a couple of kids were

'cause a couple of kids were drag racing. Just about blew her

Drag racing. Just about blew her

Drag racing. Just about blew her off the road right down here.

Off the road right down here.

Off the road right down here. >> woman: Really? Wow.

>> woman: Really? Wow.

>> woman: Really? Wow. >> yeah. Wow. You wouldn't know

>> yeah. Wow. You wouldn't know

>> yeah. Wow. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?

Anything about that, would you?

Anything about that, would you? >> no, I wouldn't, officer. I'm

>> no, I wouldn't, officer. I'm

>> no, I wouldn't, officer. I'm just on my way home from bible

Just on my way home from bible

Just on my way home from bible study.

Study.

Study. >> bible study.

>> bible study.

>> bible study. >> mm-hmm.

>> mm-hmm.

>> mm-hmm. >> yeah. Holy shit. You have

>> yeah. Holy shit. You have

>> yeah. Holy shit. You have a computer screen on your

A computer screen on your

A computer screen on your steering wheel. Do you know you

Steering wheel. Do you know you

Steering wheel. Do you know you have a computer screen on your

Have a computer screen on your

Have a computer screen on your steering wheel? 1, 2, 5--ok,

Steering wheel? 1, 2, 5--ok,

Steering wheel? 1, 2, 5--ok, what's that one do?

What's that one do?

What's that one do? >> that one's for my sound. It

>> that one's for my sound. It

>> that one's for my sound. It controls the front, back, side

Controls the front, back, side

Controls the front, back, side to side. And then I got my mids

To side. And then I got my mids

To side. And then I got my mids and my highs separated out into

And my highs separated out into

And my highs separated out into each door here. The mid down

Each door here. The mid down

Each door here. The mid down here at the base of the door,

Here at the base of the door,

Here at the base of the door, and my tweeters are up here by

And my tweeters are up here by

And my tweeters are up here by the rearview window panel.

The rearview window panel.

The rearview window panel. >> you know that your

>> you know that your

>> you know that your speedometer goes up to 260?

Speedometer goes up to 260?

Speedometer goes up to 260? >> yeah. The car can do 200.

>> yeah. The car can do 200.

>> yeah. The car can do 200. >> this is a toyota, right?

>> this is a toyota, right?

>> this is a toyota, right? >> that's right.

>> that's right.

>> that's right. >> bible study.

>> bible study.

>> bible study. >> and choir practice, actually.

>> and choir practice, actually.

>> and choir practice, actually. >> oh! What's that?

>> oh! What's that?

>> oh! What's that? >> that's the ni system.

>> that's the ni system.

>> that's the ni system. >> what's that?

>> what's that?

>> what's that? >> nitrous. It brings the

>> nitrous. It brings the

>> nitrous. It brings the nitrous up from the back.

Nitrous up from the back.

Nitrous up from the back. >> oh, nitrous. Like in that

>> oh, nitrous. Like in that

>> oh, nitrous. Like in that movie. Ok, what's that do? So

Movie. Ok, what's that do? So

Movie. Ok, what's that do? So you got it hooked up to that big

You got it hooked up to that big

You got it hooked up to that big thing.

Thing.

Thing. >> that's the turbo system.

>> that's the turbo system.

>> that's the turbo system. >> now, that I recognize.

>> now, that I recognize.

>> now, that I recognize. >> I took out the old turbo

>> I took out the old turbo

>> I took out the old turbo system and put in a brand-new

System and put in a brand-new

System and put in a brand-new t3/t4 system. A boost controller

T3/t4 system. A boost controller

T3/t4 system. A boost controller and an f-con computer system

And an f-con computer system

And an f-con computer system right there.

Right there.

Right there. >> goddamn. I'm gonna go round

>> goddamn. I'm gonna go round

>> goddamn. I'm gonna go round this curve. There's straightaway

This curve. There's straightaway

This curve. There's straightaway right there. Come on.

Right there. Come on.

Right there. Come on. >> honey, there's a lot of

>> honey, there's a lot of

>> honey, there's a lot of juice in this car. You can't

Juice in this car. You can't

Juice in this car. You can't handle the juice in this car.

Handle the juice in this car.

Handle the juice in this car. >> there are a lot of tickets in

>> there are a lot of tickets in

>> there are a lot of tickets in that trunk, and you can't handle

That trunk, and you can't handle

That trunk, and you can't handle the tickets.

The tickets.

The tickets. >> gas, clutch, like a regular

>> gas, clutch, like a regular

>> gas, clutch, like a regular transmission.

Transmission.

Transmission. >> right.

>> right.

>> right. >> push this red switch when I

>> push this red switch when I

>> push this red switch when I go, and that puts--

Go, and that puts--

Go, and that puts-- >> only when you're in full

>> only when you're in full

>> only when you're in full throttle, when you're on the

Throttle, when you're on the

Throttle, when you're on the full back on the accelerator.

Full back on the accelerator.

Full back on the accelerator. >> all right, all right.

>> all right, all right.

>> all right, all right. >> wanna go over it with me one

>> wanna go over it with me one

>> wanna go over it with me one more time?

More time?

More time? >> no, I don't wanna go over

>> no, I don't wanna go over

>> no, I don't wanna go over it with you one more time.

It with you one more time.

It with you one more time. >> ok, ok.

>> ok, ok.

>> ok, ok. >> all right, ready to go.

>> all right, ready to go.

>> all right, ready to go. >> I'm gonna switch this. I'm

>> I'm gonna switch this. I'm

>> I'm gonna switch this. I'm gonna turn the stereo off. I'm

Gonna turn the stereo off. I'm

Gonna turn the stereo off. I'm going to start the car.

>> oh, my god.

>> here's your, uh, insurance.

>> here's your, uh, insurance.

>> here's your, uh, insurance. >> are you ok in there?

>> are you ok in there?

>> are you ok in there? >> I--I--I ain't great.

>> I'm sorry. I saw what looked

>> I'm sorry. I saw what looked

>> I'm sorry. I saw what looked like beer, and my mind just took

Like beer, and my mind just took

Like beer, and my mind just took me to drunk town. All right? I

Me to drunk town. All right? I

Me to drunk town. All right? I like to have fun.

Like to have fun.

Like to have fun. >> you call that fun?

>> you call that fun?

>> you call that fun? >> I call it as much fun as I'm

>> I call it as much fun as I'm

>> I call it as much fun as I'm able to have in, you know, a

Able to have in, you know, a

Able to have in, you know, a roomful of nerds.

Roomful of nerds.

Roomful of nerds. >> oh, that is not fair. We

>> oh, that is not fair. We

>> oh, that is not fair. We have a good time. I've nothing

Have a good time. I've nothing

Have a good time. I've nothing to apologize for or be

To apologize for or be

To apologize for or be embarrassed about. It's you.

Embarrassed about. It's you.

Embarrassed about. It's you. Exposing yourself. Getting one

Exposing yourself. Getting one

Exposing yourself. Getting one of the other men to expose

Of the other men to expose

Of the other men to expose himself?

Himself?

Himself? >> I am not responsible for him.

>> I am not responsible for him.

>> I am not responsible for him. >> he is not even gonna be

>> he is not even gonna be

>> he is not even gonna be able to show his face again.

Able to show his face again.

Able to show his face again. >> yes, you are.

>> yes, you are.

>> yes, you are. >> I'm not apologizing.

>> I'm not apologizing.

>> I'm not apologizing. >> yes, you are.

>> yes, you are.

>> yes, you are. You made those two men kiss each

You made those two men kiss each

You made those two men kiss each other.

Other.

Other. >> I did not make them. I dared

>> I did not make them. I dared

>> I did not make them. I dared them.

Doctor: Hello.

Doctor: Hello.

Doctor: Hello. >> steve.

>> steve.

>> steve. >> hey.

>> hey.

>> hey. >> anybody wanna venture a

>> anybody wanna venture a

>> anybody wanna venture a guess? Guessing game starts now.

Guess? Guessing game starts now.

Guess? Guessing game starts now. Go.

Go.

Go. >> it is an appliance?

>> it is an appliance?

>> it is an appliance? >> no. Cold.

>> no. Cold.

>> no. Cold. >> cold.

>> cold.

>> cold. >> I'm gonna wager a boot.

>> I'm gonna wager a boot.

>> I'm gonna wager a boot. >> no. Cold.

>> no. Cold.

>> no. Cold. >> boot was good.

>> boot was good.

>> boot was good. >> a lot of people do this.

>> a lot of people do this.

>> a lot of people do this. They slip. Is that a shower

They slip. Is that a shower

They slip. Is that a shower caddie?

Caddie?

Caddie? >> no. No, no.

>> no. No, no.

>> no. No, no. >> was the thing the cause of

>> was the thing the cause of

>> was the thing the cause of his death?

His death?

His death? >> no, no, no.

>> no, no, no.

>> no, no, no. All: No!

All: No!

All: No! >> natural causes, actually.

>> natural causes, actually.

>> natural causes, actually. >> natural causes.

>> natural causes.

>> natural causes. >> separate incident.

>> separate incident.

>> separate incident. >> it's one of those ergonomic

>> it's one of those ergonomic

>> it's one of those ergonomic stadium seats?

Stadium seats?

Stadium seats? >> rollerblade. Rollerblade.

>> rollerblade. Rollerblade.

>> rollerblade. Rollerblade. >> that's warm.

>> that's warm.

>> that's warm. >> you know what would feel good

>> you know what would feel good

>> you know what would feel good in that area? Some kind of

In that area? Some kind of

In that area? Some kind of rubber hippo.

Rubber hippo.

Rubber hippo. >> one of the new--they got the

>> one of the new--they got the

>> one of the new--they got the new sony playstation that's got

New sony playstation that's got

New sony playstation that's got the vibrating--

The vibrating--

The vibrating-- >> vibrate mode. Stick it up

>> vibrate mode. Stick it up

>> vibrate mode. Stick it up there. Somebody else plays your

There. Somebody else plays your

There. Somebody else plays your man for you.

Man for you.

Man for you. >> xbox. Xbox in a box.

>> xbox. Xbox in a box.

>> xbox. Xbox in a box. >> I was sort of half listening,

>> I was sort of half listening,

>> I was sort of half listening, but the part that was listening

But the part that was listening

But the part that was listening says no.

Says no.

Says no. >> is it a game?

>> is it a game?

>> is it a game? >> is it as plaything?

>> is it as plaything?

>> is it as plaything? >> I give up. Let's see it.

>> I give up. Let's see it.

>> I give up. Let's see it. Let's see it. Let's do it.

Let's see it. Let's do it.

Let's see it. Let's do it. All: Ohh!

All: Ohh!

All: Ohh! >> yes!

>> yes!

>> yes! >> who gets dinner?

>> who gets dinner?

>> who gets dinner? >> rai: Let's do another one.

>> rai: Let's do another one.

>> rai: Let's do another one. >> you guys stay here. We'll

>> you guys stay here. We'll

>> you guys stay here. We'll get another body.

Get another body.

Get another body. [all cheering]

>> cheresa, will you lead us in

>> cheresa, will you lead us in

>> cheresa, will you lead us in a song?

A song?

A song? >> oh, I guess I can. I guess I

>> oh, I guess I can. I guess I

>> oh, I guess I can. I guess I can. All right, everybody. Let's

Can. All right, everybody. Let's

Can. All right, everybody. Let's lay our burdens down by the

Lay our burdens down by the

Lay our burdens down by the riverside. What do you think of

Riverside. What do you think of

Riverside. What do you think of that? I know you like it. ♪ I'm

That? I know you like it. ♪ I'm

That? I know you like it. ♪ I'm gonna lay down my burden,

Gonna lay down my burden,

Gonna lay down my burden, where? Down by the riverside,

Where? Down by the riverside,

Where? Down by the riverside, yeah, down by the riverside, and

Yeah, down by the riverside, and

Yeah, down by the riverside, and I ain't gonna study war

I ain't gonna study war

I ain't gonna study war no more ♪

No more ♪

No more ♪ >> hey, you guys. The holy

>> hey, you guys. The holy

>> hey, you guys. The holy terror's here.

Terror's here.

Terror's here. Man: Oh, look who it is.

Man: Oh, look who it is.

Man: Oh, look who it is. >> I'm late. I'm sorry I'm late.

>> I'm late. I'm sorry I'm late.

>> I'm late. I'm sorry I'm late. >> hey.

>> hey.

>> hey. >> aw, man. It is impossible to

>> aw, man. It is impossible to

>> aw, man. It is impossible to find limes this time of year.

Find limes this time of year.

Find limes this time of year. Man: They're out of season.

Man: They're out of season.

Man: They're out of season. >> clemmie: What is up,

>> clemmie: What is up,

>> clemmie: What is up, gentlemen?

Gentlemen?

Gentlemen? >> we're having a baptism

>> we're having a baptism

>> we're having a baptism today.

Today.

Today. >> I thought it was a barbecue.

>> I thought it was a barbecue.

>> I thought it was a barbecue. I brought tequila.

I brought tequila.

I brought tequila. >> very happy to see you.

>> very happy to see you.

>> very happy to see you. >> yeah, even if you are a half

>> yeah, even if you are a half

>> yeah, even if you are a half an hour late, you know. The lord

An hour late, you know. The lord

An hour late, you know. The lord is glad you're here.

Is glad you're here.

Is glad you're here. >> you're gonna do that to me?

>> you're gonna do that to me?

>> you're gonna do that to me? You're gonna give me the ol'

You're gonna give me the ol'

You're gonna give me the ol' holy dunkin'? Holy bathing?

Holy dunkin'? Holy bathing?

Holy dunkin'? Holy bathing? >> if that's what you want.

>> if that's what you want.

>> if that's what you want. >> 'cause I did it once, but I

>> 'cause I did it once, but I

>> 'cause I did it once, but I don't think it took 'cause I was

Don't think it took 'cause I was

Don't think it took 'cause I was a little high.

A little high.

A little high. >> I think you're probably

>> I think you're probably

>> I think you're probably right. Now, why don't

Right. Now, why don't

Right. Now, why don't you--there's toilets over there.

You--there's toilets over there.

You--there's toilets over there. Why don't you go throw that on.

Why don't you go throw that on.

Why don't you go throw that on. >> saved. Saved.

>> saved. Saved.

>> saved. Saved. >> I can't believe I'm doing

>> I can't believe I'm doing

>> I can't believe I'm doing this again.

>> dunk it. Dunk it. Dunk it.

>> dunk it. Dunk it. Dunk it.

>> dunk it. Dunk it. Dunk it. Whoo! ♪ kimball and jesus ♪

All right.

Whoa. Oh, my gosh. Oh, boy.

Whoa. Oh, my gosh. Oh, boy.

Whoa. Oh, my gosh. Oh, boy. >> congratulations.

>> congratulations.

>> congratulations. >> oopsy daisy.

>> oopsy daisy.

>> oopsy daisy. >> that's okay.

>> that's okay.

>> that's okay. >> I didn't know you had to

>> I didn't know you had to

>> I didn't know you had to bring underwear to a baptism.

Bring underwear to a baptism.

Bring underwear to a baptism. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. >> the babies are naked when

>> the babies are naked when

>> the babies are naked when they get baptism.

They get baptism.

They get baptism. >> church people. I just don't

>> church people. I just don't

>> church people. I just don't get it, man.

Get it, man.

Get it, man. >> well, babies don't have

>> well, babies don't have

>> well, babies don't have double-d hooters.

Double-d hooters.

Double-d hooters. >> well, neither do I. They're

>> well, neither do I. They're

>> well, neither do I. They're only 1-d.

Only 1-d.

Only 1-d. >> see?

>> see?

>> see? >> I was born naked. I was saved

>> I was born naked. I was saved

>> I was born naked. I was saved naked. And I'm gonna die naked.

Naked. And I'm gonna die naked.

Naked. And I'm gonna die naked. And then I'll be naked for all

And then I'll be naked for all

And then I'll be naked for all eternity. [blows raspberry]

>> so I'm getting a pool going

>> so I'm getting a pool going

>> so I'm getting a pool going on wiegel's baby. You wanna hear

On wiegel's baby. You wanna hear

On wiegel's baby. You wanna hear what the categories are? It's

What the categories are? It's

What the categories are? It's made up completely.

Made up completely.

Made up completely. >> yeah. That's my money.

>> yeah. That's my money.

>> yeah. That's my money. >> child of the devil. Raped by

>> child of the devil. Raped by

>> child of the devil. Raped by a demon. Literally of the devil.

A demon. Literally of the devil.

A demon. Literally of the devil. >> you got to figure a demon can

>> you got to figure a demon can

>> you got to figure a demon can get better than wiegel.

Get better than wiegel.

Get better than wiegel. >> true. His dark lordship?

>> true. His dark lordship?

>> true. His dark lordship? >> coming all the way up from

>> coming all the way up from

>> coming all the way up from hell, why would you stop at

Hell, why would you stop at

Hell, why would you stop at wiegel's place?

Wiegel's place?

Wiegel's place? >> true. You know.

>> thank you, matthew. All

>> thank you, matthew. All

>> thank you, matthew. All right, let's shake it out. We're

Right, let's shake it out. We're

Right, let's shake it out. We're gonna do a little kegeling. Some

Gonna do a little kegeling. Some

Gonna do a little kegeling. Some of you know what kegeling is.

Of you know what kegeling is.

Of you know what kegeling is. For those of you that don't,

For those of you that don't,

For those of you that don't, it's contracting your vaginal

It's contracting your vaginal

It's contracting your vaginal muscles. And I think you've

Muscles. And I think you've

Muscles. And I think you've probably done it and haven't

Probably done it and haven't

Probably done it and haven't even been aware. But just flex

Even been aware. But just flex

Even been aware. But just flex 'em to a little "axel f."

'em to a little "axel f."

'em to a little "axel f." all right, I want you to feel

All right, I want you to feel

All right, I want you to feel that music. I want you to feel

That music. I want you to feel

That music. I want you to feel it down south. And kegel. Kegel.

It down south. And kegel. Kegel.

It down south. And kegel. Kegel. Kegel. Nice. I'm gonna come

Kegel. Nice. I'm gonna come

Kegel. Nice. I'm gonna come around and check you out.

Around and check you out.

Around and check you out. Looking good. Looking good. I

Looking good. Looking good. I

Looking good. Looking good. I wanna see some movement in those

Wanna see some movement in those

Wanna see some movement in those pants. Nice. Nice. Work up a

Pants. Nice. Nice. Work up a

Pants. Nice. Nice. Work up a sweat. You feeling it? Imagine

Sweat. You feeling it? Imagine

Sweat. You feeling it? Imagine you're picking up change. Here

You're picking up change. Here

You're picking up change. Here we go.

We go.

We go. >> hey, guy.

>> hey, guy.

>> hey, guy. >> yes, trudy.

>> yes, trudy.

>> yes, trudy. >> I feel like I'm only doing it

>> I feel like I'm only doing it

>> I feel like I'm only doing it in my butthole. Can you check?

In my butthole. Can you check?

In my butthole. Can you check? >> all right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Less buttocks,

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Less buttocks,

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Less buttocks, more cervix.

More cervix.

More cervix. >> ok.

>> I'm real glad you came and

>> I'm real glad you came and

>> I'm real glad you came and that you did it and all. And I

That you did it and all. And I

That you did it and all. And I know you were just being

Know you were just being

Know you were just being yourself. You weren't trying to

Yourself. You weren't trying to

Yourself. You weren't trying to ruin my day.

Ruin my day.

Ruin my day. >> no, I wasn't.

>> no, I wasn't.

>> no, I wasn't. >> or anybody's day. You were

>> or anybody's day. You were

>> or anybody's day. You were just being yourself, just being

Just being yourself, just being

Just being yourself, just being clemmie.

Clemmie.

Clemmie. >> that's all I can do. That's

>> that's all I can do. That's

>> that's all I can do. That's all I can be.

All I can be.

All I can be. >> but see, my point is,

>> but see, my point is,

>> but see, my point is, sometimes it's good to not be

Sometimes it's good to not be

Sometimes it's good to not be yourself so much. You know what

Yourself so much. You know what

Yourself so much. You know what I mean? Just not all of

I mean? Just not all of

I mean? Just not all of yourself. Just leave a few parts

Yourself. Just leave a few parts

Yourself. Just leave a few parts behind. Leave a little mystery.

Behind. Leave a little mystery.

Behind. Leave a little mystery. >> amen to that, sister.

>> amen to that, sister.

>> amen to that, sister. >> all right.

♪ to my trophies at last I lay

♪ to my trophies at last I lay

♪ to my trophies at last I lay down, I will cling to the old

Down, I will cling to the old

Down, I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it

Rugged cross, and exchange it

Rugged cross, and exchange it someday for a crown ♪

Someday for a crown ♪

Someday for a crown ♪ [captioning made possible by

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