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1
00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:06,270
-We take you now live
for a statement from
2
00:00:06,271 --> 00:00:08,573
A representative for the
reno sheriff's department.
3
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:15,947
-Ding!
4
00:00:15,948 --> 00:00:18,949
Vice squad.
5
00:00:18,950 --> 00:00:21,085
-Criminal record.
6
00:00:21,086 --> 00:00:22,087
-Underwear.
7
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,121
-Evidence.
Underpants.
8
00:00:23,122 --> 00:00:25,824
-Licorice
for the lady folk.
9
00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:27,893
-Going up
-next floor.
10
00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:28,926
Artichokes.
11
00:00:28,927 --> 00:00:30,561
-Porcupines.
12
00:00:30,562 --> 00:00:31,962
Antelopes.
13
00:00:31,963 --> 00:00:34,666
Ding-ding.
14
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:36,034
-They'll tell us when
we're on, right?
15
00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:37,601
Yeah.
16
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:40,038
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks
17
00:01:20,946 --> 00:01:22,079
-Morning, guys.
18
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,081
-Hey.
19
00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:24,482
-Morning.
20
00:01:24,483 --> 00:01:29,287
-Uh, I have something I'd
like to say if I might.
21
00:01:29,288 --> 00:01:30,722
-Kimball.
22
00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:34,893
-I don't appreciate certain
23
00:01:34,894 --> 00:01:41,633
Photographic material
that's being inserted into my locker...
24
00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:43,534
From a certain catalog...
25
00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:49,040
Of women in their
underwear...
26
00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:55,046
With little bubbles coming
out of their mouths.
27
00:01:56,615 --> 00:01:58,550
I like pussy.
28
00:02:00,686 --> 00:02:02,253
-Did you get the one I put
in there with the guy
29
00:02:02,254 --> 00:02:03,788
And I drew a big penis
on him and it said,
30
00:02:03,789 --> 00:02:05,556
"I have elephantitis"?
31
00:02:05,557 --> 00:02:07,058
-That's just ridiculous.
32
00:02:07,059 --> 00:02:08,559
I'm sorry.
33
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:09,494
I'm taking a bathroom break.
34
00:02:15,601 --> 00:02:18,169
-Is she a lesbian or not?
35
00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:20,038
-I'm gonna say yes.
36
00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:22,607
-I usually get a really
good read on someone.
37
00:02:22,608 --> 00:02:24,476
Usually I can say,
"you know what?
38
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,743
She wants it."
39
00:02:25,744 --> 00:02:27,078
I feel like if I were to
pull down her pants--
40
00:02:27,079 --> 00:02:28,580
-Shh, shh, shh.
41
00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:30,014
ââ¢Âª la la la la ââ¢Âª
42
00:02:33,452 --> 00:02:36,020
-Kimball,
are you a lesbian?
43
00:02:40,792 --> 00:02:42,994
-No.
44
00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:44,595
-Kiss junior if you're
not a lesbian.
45
00:02:44,596 --> 00:02:45,597
-Hey!
46
00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:46,598
-All chanting: Do it!
47
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:47,598
Do it!
48
00:02:47,599 --> 00:02:48,599
Do it!
49
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,900
Do it!
50
00:02:49,901 --> 00:02:53,304
-I'm not gonna kiss junior.
51
00:02:53,305 --> 00:02:54,905
-Don't no one remembers
last year's sexual
52
00:02:54,906 --> 00:02:56,107
Harassment suits?
53
00:02:56,108 --> 00:02:57,375
No one.
54
00:02:57,376 --> 00:02:58,543
-But this isn't
sexual harassment.
55
00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:00,445
-$72,000.
56
00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:03,347
-It's taken out of my
check every goddamn week.
57
00:03:03,348 --> 00:03:04,482
-Nobody remembers that?
58
00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:05,583
-This is just how the
last one started.
59
00:03:05,584 --> 00:03:06,951
-Have you seen
where he lives?
60
00:03:06,952 --> 00:03:10,822
-It's different if he doesn't
have to make her do it.
61
00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:13,925
If you're not a
lesbian, kiss him.
62
00:03:13,926 --> 00:03:15,594
-Oh!
63
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:16,828
-All chanting: On the lips!
64
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:17,862
On the lips!
65
00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:20,598
On the lips!
66
00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:22,701
-Ok, ok.
67
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,269
I hate when I have
to get it out.
68
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,304
Why are you gonna make me
go for the baretta?
69
00:03:26,305 --> 00:03:29,273
-Suck his dick!
Suck his dick!
70
00:03:29,274 --> 00:03:31,008
-Can we please unplug
her feeding tube?
71
00:03:37,082 --> 00:03:39,350
-Buenos noches, pedro.
72
00:03:39,351 --> 00:03:40,551
-Hi, terry.
73
00:03:40,552 --> 00:03:41,553
-Hey, terry.
74
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,088
-Whoo-whoo!
75
00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:45,923
-You wanna know
why we're here?
76
00:03:45,924 --> 00:03:48,226
-Why, is there a fight?
77
00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:50,428
-No, there's not
a fight yet.
78
00:03:50,429 --> 00:03:53,498
-Terry we got a call that
somebody, an employee here,
79
00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:55,099
Was turning tricks
up on the roof.
80
00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,101
-No way.
81
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:57,435
-Yeah.
82
00:03:57,436 --> 00:03:58,569
Yeah way.
83
00:03:58,570 --> 00:03:59,937
-That's not cool.
84
00:03:59,938 --> 00:04:01,038
-You know anything
about that?
85
00:04:01,039 --> 00:04:02,040
You know anything about it?
86
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:03,541
-No.
87
00:04:03,542 --> 00:04:04,776
I'm afraid of roofs,
so it wasn't me.
88
00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:05,809
I'm allergic to 'em.
89
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,045
-You're allergic to roofs?
90
00:04:07,046 --> 00:04:08,079
-I'm allergic to roofs.
91
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,314
You can ask my doctor.
92
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,849
-How does that
manifest itself?
93
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:12,517
How are you
allergic to roofs?
94
00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:14,552
-If I look at them,
I throw up.
95
00:04:14,553 --> 00:04:15,553
-You know what
I'm allergic to?
96
00:04:15,554 --> 00:04:16,854
Lies.
97
00:04:16,855 --> 00:04:19,490
We had a description about
a gentleman of your height,
98
00:04:19,491 --> 00:04:21,826
Your stature,
with a little hat.
99
00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:25,063
What was the person's name?
100
00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:29,000
-Well, I guess it might
rhyme with mary or harry.
101
00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:31,536
-My name isn't
mary or harry.
102
00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:35,306
My name is...ââ¢Âª terry ââ¢Âª
103
00:04:35,307 --> 00:04:36,441
-Well, hold on, terry.
104
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,575
There's something
I wanna say, ok?
105
00:04:37,576 --> 00:04:38,576
-What?
-Listen.
106
00:04:38,577 --> 00:04:40,144
You know what?
107
00:04:40,145 --> 00:04:41,679
You're misunderstood, ok?
108
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:42,913
-I'm totally misunderstood.
109
00:04:42,914 --> 00:04:44,915
-You're misunderstood.
110
00:04:44,916 --> 00:04:48,686
And, um, I wanted to know
what if you and I
111
00:04:48,687 --> 00:04:50,487
Were to go up on the roof.
112
00:04:50,488 --> 00:04:54,425
How much would you...Would
you..I mean, how much
113
00:04:54,426 --> 00:04:56,160
Would it be?
114
00:04:56,161 --> 00:04:59,030
-For...What?
115
00:04:59,031 --> 00:05:01,599
-If I wanted to get like
a little bit of,
116
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,334
Like a b.J. Or something.
117
00:05:03,335 --> 00:05:05,770
How much would it be?
118
00:05:05,771 --> 00:05:07,238
-Ahem.
119
00:05:07,239 --> 00:05:08,740
$5.00.
120
00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:09,941
-Terry, I'm a cop.
121
00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:11,075
I'm holding your hand.
122
00:05:11,076 --> 00:05:12,310
I'm a cop--
123
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,878
-$5.00 for the taco.
124
00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:16,380
-You just solicited
a sexual act--
125
00:05:16,381 --> 00:05:17,415
You know--
126
00:05:17,416 --> 00:05:18,416
-Ouch.
127
00:05:18,417 --> 00:05:19,584
What are you guys doing?
128
00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,052
-Tacos, tacos, tacos is
self-served tonight,
129
00:05:21,053 --> 00:05:22,553
Ladies and gentlemen.
130
00:05:22,554 --> 00:05:23,721
-Sorry about that, pedro.
131
00:05:23,722 --> 00:05:25,056
-Call the police.
Call the police.
132
00:05:25,057 --> 00:05:26,224
I'm being arrested
by the police.
133
00:05:33,065 --> 00:05:34,732
-Step down from
the vehicle, sir.
134
00:05:34,733 --> 00:05:35,733
-I'm coming out!
135
00:05:35,734 --> 00:05:37,468
-I wanna see both hands.
136
00:05:37,469 --> 00:05:38,703
-I ain't got nothing.
137
00:05:38,704 --> 00:05:40,571
-Now, put your hands up
against the vehicle, sir.
138
00:05:40,572 --> 00:05:41,973
-Yeah?
139
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:43,608
-Hands up. That's right.
Where I can see them.
140
00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:44,942
Now, you just stay
put there, sir.
141
00:05:44,943 --> 00:05:46,010
-Suck it!
142
00:05:53,785 --> 00:05:55,753
- Oh, punkin'.
143
00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:58,556
Oh, little punkin'.
144
00:05:58,557 --> 00:06:00,592
We gonna play
"memoirs of a geisha" now.
145
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:01,725
Huh?
146
00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:07,698
-Okeydoke.
147
00:06:07,699 --> 00:06:09,867
So we're doing a little
stakeout here today
148
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:13,538
For lucky mike dennehy,
who is a counterfeiter.
149
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,106
Specializes in $5.00 bills.
150
00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:16,807
-5s and 2s.
151
00:06:16,808 --> 00:06:20,711
-Word on the street is
he comes in to get a schmitz here
152
00:06:20,712 --> 00:06:23,414
At reno therapeutic
massage and spa.
153
00:06:23,415 --> 00:06:27,852
And, uh, we're
gonna stake him out.
154
00:06:27,853 --> 00:06:30,154
I don't think I've ever
had a schmitz.
155
00:06:30,155 --> 00:06:31,255
-What is a schmitz?
156
00:06:31,256 --> 00:06:32,357
-I've been in the sauna.
157
00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:35,092
It's like a jew sauna.
158
00:06:35,093 --> 00:06:38,729
-This is a very
big trend, you know.
159
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:42,233
Guys getting
waxed and massaged.
160
00:06:42,234 --> 00:06:43,334
-Mm-hmm.
161
00:06:43,335 --> 00:06:45,203
Metrosexual, they call it.
162
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,337
-Yes, it is.
163
00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:47,705
-Metrosexual.
164
00:06:47,706 --> 00:06:49,339
-Mm-hmm.
165
00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:50,608
-Oh, my god.
166
00:06:50,609 --> 00:06:52,076
That's him. That's him.
That's him.
167
00:06:55,347 --> 00:06:58,283
-Ooh.
168
00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:00,084
This is 2-bombshell-17.
169
00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:04,088
We are in hot pursuit of
a champagne cadillac.
170
00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:05,022
-Shit.
171
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,599
Hello.
172
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,601
Hey.
173
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:17,534
Hey!
174
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,275
Hey!
175
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:38,189
-This is officer bob.
176
00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:39,223
Hello.
177
00:07:39,224 --> 00:07:40,258
He can't talk.
178
00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:41,692
He's a mannequin.
179
00:07:41,693 --> 00:07:44,829
He's a mannequin that
we use to deter people from speeding.
180
00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:46,197
You just set him in a car.
181
00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:49,233
It's an ancient
chinese cop secret.
182
00:07:49,234 --> 00:07:53,304
I come here and I lunch
with officer bob as often as I can.
183
00:07:53,305 --> 00:07:57,175
It's like a little...For me,
it's like a vacation.
184
00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:58,910
Uh-oh, bob.
185
00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:00,077
Turkey.
186
00:08:00,078 --> 00:08:01,379
We have this thing.
187
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,546
I go, "turkey,"
and we both go,
188
00:08:02,547 --> 00:08:04,916
"turkey again?"
189
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:10,722
Sometimes we play this game:
I never...
190
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:12,023
Made out
with a mannequin.
191
00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:23,033
I have to drink
because I have.
192
00:08:32,978 --> 00:08:37,681
-Just 8 more miles
to the station.
193
00:08:37,682 --> 00:08:40,017
Oh, god.
194
00:08:40,018 --> 00:08:41,051
Oh!
195
00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:46,423
-Sheriff's department.
196
00:08:46,424 --> 00:08:48,759
-Sheriff's department!
197
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,127
-Sheriff's department!
198
00:08:50,128 --> 00:08:51,062
Have a nice day.
199
00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:03,874
-Sheriff's department.
200
00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:05,076
-Oh, about time.
201
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,076
You're here.
202
00:09:06,077 --> 00:09:07,412
I'm sorry.
203
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:08,679
Listen, I wasn't sure whether
I should call you or not.
204
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,514
I'm afraid this might be
a big never mind.
205
00:09:10,515 --> 00:09:11,915
I'm sorry.
206
00:09:11,916 --> 00:09:14,752
-Well, why don't you just tell
us why you initially called.
207
00:09:14,753 --> 00:09:17,655
Well, I called because a
guy...A young fellow came by
208
00:09:17,656 --> 00:09:20,858
A little bit earlier today,
and I guess he was in a hurry or whatever,
209
00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:22,526
Because when I
answered the door,
210
00:09:22,527 --> 00:09:25,396
He just kind of pushed
his way right on in.
211
00:09:25,397 --> 00:09:28,066
He was in a hurry to
get into the house.
212
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,167
And I didn't know who he was.
213
00:09:30,168 --> 00:09:31,603
-Do you have a description?
214
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:34,238
Any distinguishing
characteristics?
215
00:09:34,239 --> 00:09:38,809
-He had a hat that
covered his whole face.
216
00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:40,945
-So he was wearing a ski
mask in the middle
217
00:09:40,946 --> 00:09:42,113
Of the hot weather.
218
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,447
-Yeah.
219
00:09:43,448 --> 00:09:45,883
-And you felt alarmed,
I suppose, is why you called us.
220
00:09:45,884 --> 00:09:48,652
-Not really.
I just wasn't sure.
221
00:09:48,653 --> 00:09:50,854
And I was...Because it
hasn't happened before,
222
00:09:50,855 --> 00:09:52,423
And it was out
of the ordinary.
223
00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:54,725
But he did take quite
a few things.
224
00:09:54,726 --> 00:09:56,126
He was carrying a gun.
225
00:09:56,127 --> 00:09:57,562
-He had a gun.
226
00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:58,729
-Yeah.
227
00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:01,832
But he was...You guys
have holsters and things.
228
00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:04,268
I don't know that he had
any other place to put it.
229
00:10:04,269 --> 00:10:06,370
So he just had it
in his hand.
230
00:10:06,371 --> 00:10:08,539
-Look, what do I know?
231
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:11,208
But to me, this looks
like breaking and entering
232
00:10:11,209 --> 00:10:12,477
And a theft.
233
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,345
-She's a good cop.
234
00:10:14,346 --> 00:10:17,515
-But that's really jumping
to conclusions, because...
235
00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:19,149
You know, he pushed me.
236
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:20,985
He did shove me.
237
00:10:20,986 --> 00:10:22,319
He did take things,
238
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,121
But I don't know
if you wanna call it...
239
00:10:24,122 --> 00:10:26,457
I wouldn't
use the "t" word.
240
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,392
-Sir, do you...I'm sorry
to interrupt here.
241
00:10:28,393 --> 00:10:32,062
But do you or do you not
wanna press charges against this...
242
00:10:32,063 --> 00:10:33,631
-Oh, I don't think so.
243
00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:35,532
I don't think...I don't
think that's appropriate.
244
00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:36,601
-Ok, then.
245
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:37,868
-I don't want you
to press charges,
246
00:10:37,869 --> 00:10:42,506
Although if you see him and
he's with my daughter,
247
00:10:42,507 --> 00:10:45,042
I would love to just
get her back here.
248
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,315
-Where are we, by the way?
249
00:10:51,316 --> 00:10:57,188
-Uh, I think virginia's
2 blocks that way.
250
00:10:57,189 --> 00:11:00,925
-The sun is behind us and
it's moving this way.
251
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:02,694
It's not moving this way.
252
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:03,961
-So we're headed--
253
00:11:03,962 --> 00:11:05,562
-We're headed east.
254
00:11:05,563 --> 00:11:06,564
-Are you sure?
255
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:08,932
-No.
256
00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:11,335
-I probably could've
been a park ranger.
257
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:12,970
-Oh, that's the life.
258
00:11:12,971 --> 00:11:15,072
-The crips never go camping.
259
00:11:15,073 --> 00:11:16,074
Crips don't go camping.
260
00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:17,074
The bloods don't go camping.
261
00:11:17,075 --> 00:11:18,075
The latin kings.
262
00:11:18,076 --> 00:11:19,544
None of those
motherfuckers camp.
263
00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:20,711
You know who camps?
264
00:11:20,712 --> 00:11:21,712
Nice people.
265
00:11:21,713 --> 00:11:22,713
-Nice germans.
266
00:11:22,714 --> 00:11:23,714
-Nice germans.
267
00:11:23,715 --> 00:11:24,715
Friendly germans.
268
00:11:24,716 --> 00:11:26,517
-Little japanese kids.
269
00:11:26,518 --> 00:11:27,751
-Yeah.
270
00:11:27,752 --> 00:11:29,120
-Which way do we say?
271
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:30,287
Airport's that way.
272
00:11:30,288 --> 00:11:33,057
But the catholic
school is right there.
273
00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:36,194
We're gonna have to run
the gauntlet and do the catholic school, I guess.
274
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,395
We'll say fbi.
275
00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:39,597
-Right.
276
00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:40,597
Fbi!
277
00:11:40,598 --> 00:11:41,599
Fbi!
278
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,600
-Nothing to see here.
279
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:43,801
-Nothing to see. Fbi.
280
00:11:50,108 --> 00:11:51,108
-What's up, boys?
281
00:11:51,109 --> 00:11:52,610
How you doing?
282
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:55,445
S. Jones.
283
00:11:55,446 --> 00:12:00,017
Today we're visiting
a known serial killer.
284
00:12:00,018 --> 00:12:02,019
Very dangerous man.
285
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:05,356
Hello.
286
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:06,924
Hello.
287
00:12:06,925 --> 00:12:09,927
I wanna know about
cindy wong, ok?
288
00:12:09,928 --> 00:12:12,463
-Look at you, asking
questions.
289
00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:15,933
Boy, you the man now,
ain't you?
290
00:12:15,934 --> 00:12:17,901
Come a long way,
haven't you?
291
00:12:17,902 --> 00:12:20,705
-Well, I always
have been the man.
292
00:12:20,706 --> 00:12:21,705
You just never knew.
293
00:12:21,706 --> 00:12:22,707
-Oh, yeah.
294
00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:23,841
Yeah, you always
been the man.
295
00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:25,142
-Yeah.
296
00:12:25,143 --> 00:12:26,710
-Were you the man
back in the hood?
297
00:12:26,711 --> 00:12:28,246
Back in the old days?
298
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,947
Huh?
299
00:12:29,948 --> 00:12:32,583
Those broken and
desperate streets.
300
00:12:32,584 --> 00:12:34,152
You hanging with
your homies,
301
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:36,019
Drinking bumpers,
smoking blunts,
302
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:40,658
Playing stickball
on streets with cars with no hubcaps.
303
00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:42,894
Just so you can bust and
survive, little bitch,
304
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,095
To scrape together a little
cheddar so you can bring
305
00:12:45,096 --> 00:12:48,999
A hambone to your mama.
306
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:55,239
-Actually, I grew up in a
real lame suburb of minnesota called mound.
307
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,508
Pretty privileged, actually.
308
00:12:57,509 --> 00:12:59,744
-Oh.
309
00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:00,778
Really?
310
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,980
-Yeah.
311
00:13:02,981 --> 00:13:04,314
Cindy wong.
312
00:13:04,315 --> 00:13:05,682
-Oh, yeah.
313
00:13:05,683 --> 00:13:07,051
I buried her
under the stairs.
314
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:08,118
-Cool.
315
00:13:08,119 --> 00:13:09,386
All right. Thanks, man.
316
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,060
-We see you.
317
00:13:17,061 --> 00:13:18,062
Yeah, we see you.
318
00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:19,062
-Come on!
319
00:13:19,063 --> 00:13:20,164
-Ok.
320
00:13:20,165 --> 00:13:21,565
Cool your cookies, sir.
What's going on?
321
00:13:21,566 --> 00:13:22,566
What's the matter?
322
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:23,567
-Come on, man.
323
00:13:23,568 --> 00:13:25,536
Someone stole all
my assault rifles.
324
00:13:25,537 --> 00:13:27,138
All my guns.
325
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,806
I had this double uzi.
326
00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:31,342
You guys ever seen z.Z. Top,
that double guitar?
327
00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:32,476
I had a double uzi.
328
00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:33,544
It was sweet.
329
00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:36,280
I had a bazooka,
sentimental value.
330
00:13:36,281 --> 00:13:38,048
My grandpa gave it to me.
331
00:13:38,049 --> 00:13:39,549
-Now, let's start here.
332
00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:42,320
If we had the, um, permits
333
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,754
For all these rifles and
sawed-off shotguns,
334
00:13:44,755 --> 00:13:46,224
We might
be able to find--
335
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,326
-I make my own permits.
336
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:51,896
Sometimes you got to shoot
someone before the 10 days.
337
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:54,264
-Have you had to
do that recently?
338
00:13:54,265 --> 00:13:55,299
Have you had to
shoot someone?
339
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:56,333
-Hell, yeah.
340
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:57,334
People comin' around here.
341
00:13:57,335 --> 00:13:58,602
I got a drop tonight.
342
00:13:58,603 --> 00:14:00,838
I got this afghani
hash comin' in.
343
00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:04,041
And these old boys are gonna
come around, try to get my stuff
344
00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:07,177
And I'm gonna
need at least an uzi.
345
00:14:07,178 --> 00:14:09,980
-You know that drugs
are illegal, right?
346
00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:11,248
-No, no, no. It depends.
347
00:14:11,249 --> 00:14:13,183
People need drugs for
all different reasons.
348
00:14:13,184 --> 00:14:15,252
-So you have
medical hashish.
349
00:14:15,253 --> 00:14:17,922
-Medical hashish, medical
cocaine, medical acid.
350
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,557
I got it all, man.
351
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:21,692
Where are you guys
taking me?
352
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:23,593
-We're gonna take you to
find your sawed-off shotguns.
353
00:14:23,594 --> 00:14:25,062
-We're gonna find some
guns and some drugs.
354
00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:25,996
-Now we're talking.
355
00:14:39,978 --> 00:14:42,012
[car alarms blaring]
356
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,589
[both shouting]
357
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:55,192
-Alarm.
358
00:14:55,193 --> 00:14:56,861
Go.
359
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:57,895
Oh!
360
00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,030
Oh!
361
00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,030
Hot!
362
00:15:00,031 --> 00:15:01,031
Hot! Hot!
363
00:15:01,032 --> 00:15:02,032
Hot!
364
00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:03,033
Oh, my gosh!
365
00:15:03,034 --> 00:15:04,034
It's hot! Hot!
366
00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:05,035
All right.
367
00:15:05,036 --> 00:15:06,037
Ok.
368
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:07,037
-What do you do?
369
00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,038
-You got to get--
370
00:15:08,039 --> 00:15:09,039
You snap off the
steering column.
371
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,041
Two wires.
372
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:11,041
-Yeah.
373
00:15:11,042 --> 00:15:12,043
-Yellow, red.
374
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:13,043
Connect 'em up at the top.
375
00:15:13,044 --> 00:15:14,044
-Ok.
376
00:15:14,045 --> 00:15:15,045
-Ah.
377
00:15:15,046 --> 00:15:16,046
I can get in there now.
378
00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:18,415
-What if they're
blue and black?
379
00:15:18,416 --> 00:15:19,516
-No, that's wrong.
380
00:15:19,517 --> 00:15:20,551
They got to be
yellow and red.
381
00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:21,551
-Well, they're
blue and black.
382
00:15:21,552 --> 00:15:22,887
-I might be thinking
of stereo.
383
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:24,789
-That's right and left.
384
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:26,056
-Audio.
385
00:15:26,057 --> 00:15:27,291
No, it's audio.
386
00:15:27,292 --> 00:15:28,392
-That's rca.
387
00:15:28,393 --> 00:15:30,060
-The yellow one's video.
388
00:15:30,061 --> 00:15:32,263
-Oh, shit.
389
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,064
-What are you doing
in my car?
390
00:15:34,065 --> 00:15:35,065
-Oh.
391
00:15:35,066 --> 00:15:36,067
-Hi.
392
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:37,067
-Oh, god.
393
00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:38,502
Why are you naked?
394
00:15:38,503 --> 00:15:40,070
I am so sick of things
like this happening to me!
395
00:15:40,071 --> 00:15:41,071
-Whoa!
396
00:15:41,072 --> 00:15:42,072
-Ho!
397
00:15:42,073 --> 00:15:43,774
Ho!
398
00:15:43,775 --> 00:15:47,077
-I'm sick of things like
this happening to me!
399
00:15:47,078 --> 00:15:48,512
[both yelling]
400
00:15:57,189 --> 00:16:00,257
-Say, helen, did you hear about
this lady who killed that
401
00:16:00,258 --> 00:16:02,026
Other lady for her baby?
402
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:03,827
-Sure I did, mary.
403
00:16:03,828 --> 00:16:09,934
Happened right...
In her own home.
404
00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:13,804
-Which means today, more
than ever, it's time for
405
00:16:13,805 --> 00:16:16,606
The police tek 2000
body guard.
406
00:16:16,607 --> 00:16:20,878
With a flick of the wrist...
407
00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:22,980
You unleash the power
408
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:25,682
Of a professional
police nightstick
409
00:16:25,683 --> 00:16:29,419
Made from heavy-duty
ali--aluminum.
410
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:31,221
-But I've never used
a nightstick.
411
00:16:31,222 --> 00:16:36,293
-That's why it comes with
this instructional dvd.
412
00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:40,064
In just 40 minutes, you'll
learn all of the nightstick
413
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:43,634
Methods used by real
police officers.
414
00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:45,069
-You'll learn patented
moves like...
415
00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:58,449
-Whoo!
416
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,850
Sounds like I can finally
start jogging again.
417
00:17:00,851 --> 00:17:05,122
-Or go to the park in
a skirt or swimwear.
418
00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:10,560
-And just remember to bring
your big, black body guard.
419
00:17:10,561 --> 00:17:13,531
-Your police tek
2000 body guard.
420
00:17:17,668 --> 00:17:19,636
-ÿte habla espanol, tambien?
421
00:17:19,637 --> 00:17:20,771
-No, sir.
422
00:17:20,772 --> 00:17:23,140
-Well, you better aprende
some espanol,
423
00:17:23,141 --> 00:17:25,375
'cause we got a lot of them
spicks around here.
424
00:17:25,376 --> 00:17:32,549
-You know what I have to
learn how to say in espanol?
425
00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:34,518
I have to learn how
to say that, right?
426
00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:36,219
-Freeze.
427
00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:38,422
How do you say
"freeze" in espanol?
428
00:17:38,423 --> 00:17:40,357
-I know that "ice" is hielo.
429
00:17:40,358 --> 00:17:46,029
So maybe you can go,
por favor, say "ice" in hielo.
430
00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:48,998
Make yourself ice.
431
00:17:48,999 --> 00:17:50,468
-That's a good one.
432
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,002
Say "ice" in hielo.
433
00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:53,437
-Say "ice" in hielo.
434
00:17:53,438 --> 00:17:56,040
Sounds like "your ass is
yellow," which it also mean,
435
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,508
"you're a coward."
436
00:17:57,509 --> 00:17:58,575
-You're a coward.
437
00:17:58,576 --> 00:17:59,577
-So it has double meaning.
438
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:00,644
-Yeah.
439
00:18:00,645 --> 00:18:04,681
-Por favor, say "ice"
in hielo.
440
00:18:04,682 --> 00:18:06,283
Make yourself like ice.
441
00:18:06,284 --> 00:18:07,984
-Make yourself like ice.
442
00:18:07,985 --> 00:18:10,487
-Por favor, say "ice"
in hielo.
443
00:18:10,488 --> 00:18:11,788
-Yell it out.
444
00:18:11,789 --> 00:18:13,957
See what he says.
445
00:18:13,958 --> 00:18:16,026
-If I'd rolled down the window,
he would've listened to me.
446
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,068
[bell ringing]
447
00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:28,505
And now, deputy and lady.
448
00:18:28,506 --> 00:18:30,040
-Good morning,
boys and girls.
449
00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:31,775
We're very glad to be here.
450
00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:33,643
Isn't this exciting, lady?
451
00:18:33,644 --> 00:18:35,879
-I guess so.
452
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,748
You don't sound very happy.
453
00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:39,416
What's wrong?
454
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:43,253
-I'm not feeling very
good about myself.
455
00:18:43,254 --> 00:18:44,321
-But why?
456
00:18:44,322 --> 00:18:46,090
You're so pretty.
457
00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:48,492
-I know,
but I'm also a dummy.
458
00:18:48,493 --> 00:18:51,395
And it turns out
I'm stupid, too.
459
00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:53,497
-What do you mean?
460
00:18:53,498 --> 00:18:55,833
-I didn't graduate
from high school.
461
00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:57,368
-Lady, no.
462
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:58,769
-It's true.
463
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:02,305
I spent my senior year
making out with my boyfriend
464
00:19:02,306 --> 00:19:04,040
In his hearse all night.
465
00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:06,710
Then I'd sleep all day
and watch soap operas
466
00:19:06,711 --> 00:19:08,345
All afternoon.
467
00:19:08,346 --> 00:19:11,481
Now I can't get a job frying
french fries 'cause I don't
468
00:19:11,482 --> 00:19:13,717
Have a high school diploma.
469
00:19:13,718 --> 00:19:17,588
And the only job I can get
involves having yahoos like
470
00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:20,323
You with your
hand up my skirt.
471
00:19:20,324 --> 00:19:23,993
-So what advice would you
have for the kids today?
472
00:19:23,994 --> 00:19:27,331
-Don't...Drop...Out.
473
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,466
Drop... In.
474
00:19:29,467 --> 00:19:36,573
Truancy...Is...For...
Dummies.
475
00:19:36,574 --> 00:19:39,609
Ahhhhhhh!
476
00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:40,611
You're sitting on my dick.
477
00:19:40,612 --> 00:19:41,612
Oh, is that what that is?
478
00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:42,545
Yeah.
479
00:19:51,655 --> 00:19:53,056
-Nice day, though.
480
00:19:53,057 --> 00:19:55,259
-It's pretty nice.
481
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,860
-Hey, hey, hey.
482
00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:58,128
Check it out.
483
00:19:58,129 --> 00:19:59,128
Clothes.
484
00:19:59,129 --> 00:20:00,063
-Oh.
485
00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:10,340
[rock music playing]
486
00:20:10,341 --> 00:20:13,844
-Uh...Hi.
487
00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:15,012
Hello.
488
00:20:25,089 --> 00:20:26,724
-Look at this.
489
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,459
Look at the butt cellulite.
490
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:29,493
Look at that.
491
00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:30,694
-She's 150.
492
00:20:30,695 --> 00:20:32,829
She shouldn't be
wearing a bathing suit.
493
00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:34,564
-Excuse me.
494
00:20:34,565 --> 00:20:35,799
Wait a second.
495
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,236
Wait a second.
496
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:42,372
-I really appreciate it.
497
00:20:42,373 --> 00:20:44,141
Thank you for your helmet.
498
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:45,275
-Thanks for the loaner.
499
00:20:45,276 --> 00:20:50,948
-Nice meeting you.
500
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:52,683
-Afternoon.
501
00:20:52,684 --> 00:20:54,985
-Hi.
502
00:20:54,986 --> 00:20:58,122
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks
503
00:20:58,123 --> 00:21:01,058
Captioned by national
captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--
504
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,062
-We playin' "memoirs
of a geisha."
505
00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:06,062
Who's my punkin'?
506
00:21:06,063 --> 00:21:09,066
Here we go.
In you go, in you go.
507
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:10,066
Ah, those memoirs.
508
00:21:10,067 --> 00:21:11,568
-Huh? Huh?
509
00:21:11,569 --> 00:21:13,003
[spitting]
510
00:21:16,073 --> 00:21:18,075
-Hey, sir, you know
what happened?
511
00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:19,576
I must have hit you
back there.
512
00:21:19,577 --> 00:21:21,578
-Why do I taste gold bond's?
513
00:21:21,579 --> 00:21:24,248
-Sometimes they say when you
get a concussion--
514
00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:26,249
-It tastes like
gold bond's powder?
515
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,918
-Yeah, gold bond
medicated powder.
516
00:21:27,919 --> 00:21:29,253
-Yeah, I think, uh--
517
00:21:29,254 --> 00:21:31,088
-Well, I'm glad I pulled over
to help you out.
518
00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:32,589
-Real nice to meet you.
-Good seeing you.
519
00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:37,189
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