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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:06,270 -We take you now live for a statement from 2 00:00:06,271 --> 00:00:08,573 A representative for the reno sheriff's department. 3 00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:15,947 -Ding! 4 00:00:15,948 --> 00:00:18,949 Vice squad. 5 00:00:18,950 --> 00:00:21,085 -Criminal record. 6 00:00:21,086 --> 00:00:22,087 -Underwear. 7 00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,121 -Evidence. Underpants. 8 00:00:23,122 --> 00:00:25,824 -Licorice for the lady folk. 9 00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:27,893 -Going up -next floor. 10 00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:28,926 Artichokes. 11 00:00:28,927 --> 00:00:30,561 -Porcupines. 12 00:00:30,562 --> 00:00:31,962 Antelopes. 13 00:00:31,963 --> 00:00:34,666 Ding-ding. 14 00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:36,034 -They'll tell us when we're on, right? 15 00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:37,601 Yeah. 16 00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:40,038 Captioning made possible by mtv networks 17 00:01:20,946 --> 00:01:22,079 -Morning, guys. 18 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,081 -Hey. 19 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:24,482 -Morning. 20 00:01:24,483 --> 00:01:29,287 -Uh, I have something I'd like to say if I might. 21 00:01:29,288 --> 00:01:30,722 -Kimball. 22 00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:34,893 -I don't appreciate certain 23 00:01:34,894 --> 00:01:41,633 Photographic material that's being inserted into my locker... 24 00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:43,534 From a certain catalog... 25 00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:49,040 Of women in their underwear... 26 00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:55,046 With little bubbles coming out of their mouths. 27 00:01:56,615 --> 00:01:58,550 I like pussy. 28 00:02:00,686 --> 00:02:02,253 -Did you get the one I put in there with the guy 29 00:02:02,254 --> 00:02:03,788 And I drew a big penis on him and it said, 30 00:02:03,789 --> 00:02:05,556 "I have elephantitis"? 31 00:02:05,557 --> 00:02:07,058 -That's just ridiculous. 32 00:02:07,059 --> 00:02:08,559 I'm sorry. 33 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:09,494 I'm taking a bathroom break. 34 00:02:15,601 --> 00:02:18,169 -Is she a lesbian or not? 35 00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:20,038 -I'm gonna say yes. 36 00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:22,607 -I usually get a really good read on someone. 37 00:02:22,608 --> 00:02:24,476 Usually I can say, "you know what? 38 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,743 She wants it." 39 00:02:25,744 --> 00:02:27,078 I feel like if I were to pull down her pants-- 40 00:02:27,079 --> 00:02:28,580 -Shh, shh, shh. 41 00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:30,014 ♪ la la la la ♪ 42 00:02:33,452 --> 00:02:36,020 -Kimball, are you a lesbian? 43 00:02:40,792 --> 00:02:42,994 -No. 44 00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:44,595 -Kiss junior if you're not a lesbian. 45 00:02:44,596 --> 00:02:45,597 -Hey! 46 00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:46,598 -All chanting: Do it! 47 00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:47,598 Do it! 48 00:02:47,599 --> 00:02:48,599 Do it! 49 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,900 Do it! 50 00:02:49,901 --> 00:02:53,304 -I'm not gonna kiss junior. 51 00:02:53,305 --> 00:02:54,905 -Don't no one remembers last year's sexual 52 00:02:54,906 --> 00:02:56,107 Harassment suits? 53 00:02:56,108 --> 00:02:57,375 No one. 54 00:02:57,376 --> 00:02:58,543 -But this isn't sexual harassment. 55 00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:00,445 -$72,000. 56 00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:03,347 -It's taken out of my check every goddamn week. 57 00:03:03,348 --> 00:03:04,482 -Nobody remembers that? 58 00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:05,583 -This is just how the last one started. 59 00:03:05,584 --> 00:03:06,951 -Have you seen where he lives? 60 00:03:06,952 --> 00:03:10,822 -It's different if he doesn't have to make her do it. 61 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:13,925 If you're not a lesbian, kiss him. 62 00:03:13,926 --> 00:03:15,594 -Oh! 63 00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:16,828 -All chanting: On the lips! 64 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:17,862 On the lips! 65 00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:20,598 On the lips! 66 00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:22,701 -Ok, ok. 67 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,269 I hate when I have to get it out. 68 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,304 Why are you gonna make me go for the baretta? 69 00:03:26,305 --> 00:03:29,273 -Suck his dick! Suck his dick! 70 00:03:29,274 --> 00:03:31,008 -Can we please unplug her feeding tube? 71 00:03:37,082 --> 00:03:39,350 -Buenos noches, pedro. 72 00:03:39,351 --> 00:03:40,551 -Hi, terry. 73 00:03:40,552 --> 00:03:41,553 -Hey, terry. 74 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,088 -Whoo-whoo! 75 00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:45,923 -You wanna know why we're here? 76 00:03:45,924 --> 00:03:48,226 -Why, is there a fight? 77 00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:50,428 -No, there's not a fight yet. 78 00:03:50,429 --> 00:03:53,498 -Terry we got a call that somebody, an employee here, 79 00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:55,099 Was turning tricks up on the roof. 80 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,101 -No way. 81 00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:57,435 -Yeah. 82 00:03:57,436 --> 00:03:58,569 Yeah way. 83 00:03:58,570 --> 00:03:59,937 -That's not cool. 84 00:03:59,938 --> 00:04:01,038 -You know anything about that? 85 00:04:01,039 --> 00:04:02,040 You know anything about it? 86 00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:03,541 -No. 87 00:04:03,542 --> 00:04:04,776 I'm afraid of roofs, so it wasn't me. 88 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:05,809 I'm allergic to 'em. 89 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,045 -You're allergic to roofs? 90 00:04:07,046 --> 00:04:08,079 -I'm allergic to roofs. 91 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,314 You can ask my doctor. 92 00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,849 -How does that manifest itself? 93 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:12,517 How are you allergic to roofs? 94 00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:14,552 -If I look at them, I throw up. 95 00:04:14,553 --> 00:04:15,553 -You know what I'm allergic to? 96 00:04:15,554 --> 00:04:16,854 Lies. 97 00:04:16,855 --> 00:04:19,490 We had a description about a gentleman of your height, 98 00:04:19,491 --> 00:04:21,826 Your stature, with a little hat. 99 00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:25,063 What was the person's name? 100 00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:29,000 -Well, I guess it might rhyme with mary or harry. 101 00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:31,536 -My name isn't mary or harry. 102 00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:35,306 My name is...♪ terry ♪ 103 00:04:35,307 --> 00:04:36,441 -Well, hold on, terry. 104 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,575 There's something I wanna say, ok? 105 00:04:37,576 --> 00:04:38,576 -What? -Listen. 106 00:04:38,577 --> 00:04:40,144 You know what? 107 00:04:40,145 --> 00:04:41,679 You're misunderstood, ok? 108 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:42,913 -I'm totally misunderstood. 109 00:04:42,914 --> 00:04:44,915 -You're misunderstood. 110 00:04:44,916 --> 00:04:48,686 And, um, I wanted to know what if you and I 111 00:04:48,687 --> 00:04:50,487 Were to go up on the roof. 112 00:04:50,488 --> 00:04:54,425 How much would you...Would you..I mean, how much 113 00:04:54,426 --> 00:04:56,160 Would it be? 114 00:04:56,161 --> 00:04:59,030 -For...What? 115 00:04:59,031 --> 00:05:01,599 -If I wanted to get like a little bit of, 116 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,334 Like a b.J. Or something. 117 00:05:03,335 --> 00:05:05,770 How much would it be? 118 00:05:05,771 --> 00:05:07,238 -Ahem. 119 00:05:07,239 --> 00:05:08,740 $5.00. 120 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:09,941 -Terry, I'm a cop. 121 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:11,075 I'm holding your hand. 122 00:05:11,076 --> 00:05:12,310 I'm a cop-- 123 00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,878 -$5.00 for the taco. 124 00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:16,380 -You just solicited a sexual act-- 125 00:05:16,381 --> 00:05:17,415 You know-- 126 00:05:17,416 --> 00:05:18,416 -Ouch. 127 00:05:18,417 --> 00:05:19,584 What are you guys doing? 128 00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,052 -Tacos, tacos, tacos is self-served tonight, 129 00:05:21,053 --> 00:05:22,553 Ladies and gentlemen. 130 00:05:22,554 --> 00:05:23,721 -Sorry about that, pedro. 131 00:05:23,722 --> 00:05:25,056 -Call the police. Call the police. 132 00:05:25,057 --> 00:05:26,224 I'm being arrested by the police. 133 00:05:33,065 --> 00:05:34,732 -Step down from the vehicle, sir. 134 00:05:34,733 --> 00:05:35,733 -I'm coming out! 135 00:05:35,734 --> 00:05:37,468 -I wanna see both hands. 136 00:05:37,469 --> 00:05:38,703 -I ain't got nothing. 137 00:05:38,704 --> 00:05:40,571 -Now, put your hands up against the vehicle, sir. 138 00:05:40,572 --> 00:05:41,973 -Yeah? 139 00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:43,608 -Hands up. That's right. Where I can see them. 140 00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:44,942 Now, you just stay put there, sir. 141 00:05:44,943 --> 00:05:46,010 -Suck it! 142 00:05:53,785 --> 00:05:55,753 - Oh, punkin'. 143 00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:58,556 Oh, little punkin'. 144 00:05:58,557 --> 00:06:00,592 We gonna play "memoirs of a geisha" now. 145 00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:01,725 Huh? 146 00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:07,698 -Okeydoke. 147 00:06:07,699 --> 00:06:09,867 So we're doing a little stakeout here today 148 00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:13,538 For lucky mike dennehy, who is a counterfeiter. 149 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,106 Specializes in $5.00 bills. 150 00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:16,807 -5s and 2s. 151 00:06:16,808 --> 00:06:20,711 -Word on the street is he comes in to get a schmitz here 152 00:06:20,712 --> 00:06:23,414 At reno therapeutic massage and spa. 153 00:06:23,415 --> 00:06:27,852 And, uh, we're gonna stake him out. 154 00:06:27,853 --> 00:06:30,154 I don't think I've ever had a schmitz. 155 00:06:30,155 --> 00:06:31,255 -What is a schmitz? 156 00:06:31,256 --> 00:06:32,357 -I've been in the sauna. 157 00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:35,092 It's like a jew sauna. 158 00:06:35,093 --> 00:06:38,729 -This is a very big trend, you know. 159 00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:42,233 Guys getting waxed and massaged. 160 00:06:42,234 --> 00:06:43,334 -Mm-hmm. 161 00:06:43,335 --> 00:06:45,203 Metrosexual, they call it. 162 00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,337 -Yes, it is. 163 00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:47,705 -Metrosexual. 164 00:06:47,706 --> 00:06:49,339 -Mm-hmm. 165 00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:50,608 -Oh, my god. 166 00:06:50,609 --> 00:06:52,076 That's him. That's him. That's him. 167 00:06:55,347 --> 00:06:58,283 -Ooh. 168 00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:00,084 This is 2-bombshell-17. 169 00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:04,088 We are in hot pursuit of a champagne cadillac. 170 00:07:04,089 --> 00:07:05,022 -Shit. 171 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,599 Hello. 172 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,601 Hey. 173 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:17,534 Hey! 174 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,275 Hey! 175 00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:38,189 -This is officer bob. 176 00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:39,223 Hello. 177 00:07:39,224 --> 00:07:40,258 He can't talk. 178 00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:41,692 He's a mannequin. 179 00:07:41,693 --> 00:07:44,829 He's a mannequin that we use to deter people from speeding. 180 00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:46,197 You just set him in a car. 181 00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:49,233 It's an ancient chinese cop secret. 182 00:07:49,234 --> 00:07:53,304 I come here and I lunch with officer bob as often as I can. 183 00:07:53,305 --> 00:07:57,175 It's like a little...For me, it's like a vacation. 184 00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:58,910 Uh-oh, bob. 185 00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:00,077 Turkey. 186 00:08:00,078 --> 00:08:01,379 We have this thing. 187 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,546 I go, "turkey," and we both go, 188 00:08:02,547 --> 00:08:04,916 "turkey again?" 189 00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:10,722 Sometimes we play this game: I never... 190 00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:12,023 Made out with a mannequin. 191 00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:23,033 I have to drink because I have. 192 00:08:32,978 --> 00:08:37,681 -Just 8 more miles to the station. 193 00:08:37,682 --> 00:08:40,017 Oh, god. 194 00:08:40,018 --> 00:08:41,051 Oh! 195 00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:46,423 -Sheriff's department. 196 00:08:46,424 --> 00:08:48,759 -Sheriff's department! 197 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,127 -Sheriff's department! 198 00:08:50,128 --> 00:08:51,062 Have a nice day. 199 00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:03,874 -Sheriff's department. 200 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:05,076 -Oh, about time. 201 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,076 You're here. 202 00:09:06,077 --> 00:09:07,412 I'm sorry. 203 00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:08,679 Listen, I wasn't sure whether I should call you or not. 204 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,514 I'm afraid this might be a big never mind. 205 00:09:10,515 --> 00:09:11,915 I'm sorry. 206 00:09:11,916 --> 00:09:14,752 -Well, why don't you just tell us why you initially called. 207 00:09:14,753 --> 00:09:17,655 Well, I called because a guy...A young fellow came by 208 00:09:17,656 --> 00:09:20,858 A little bit earlier today, and I guess he was in a hurry or whatever, 209 00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:22,526 Because when I answered the door, 210 00:09:22,527 --> 00:09:25,396 He just kind of pushed his way right on in. 211 00:09:25,397 --> 00:09:28,066 He was in a hurry to get into the house. 212 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,167 And I didn't know who he was. 213 00:09:30,168 --> 00:09:31,603 -Do you have a description? 214 00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:34,238 Any distinguishing characteristics? 215 00:09:34,239 --> 00:09:38,809 -He had a hat that covered his whole face. 216 00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:40,945 -So he was wearing a ski mask in the middle 217 00:09:40,946 --> 00:09:42,113 Of the hot weather. 218 00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,447 -Yeah. 219 00:09:43,448 --> 00:09:45,883 -And you felt alarmed, I suppose, is why you called us. 220 00:09:45,884 --> 00:09:48,652 -Not really. I just wasn't sure. 221 00:09:48,653 --> 00:09:50,854 And I was...Because it hasn't happened before, 222 00:09:50,855 --> 00:09:52,423 And it was out of the ordinary. 223 00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:54,725 But he did take quite a few things. 224 00:09:54,726 --> 00:09:56,126 He was carrying a gun. 225 00:09:56,127 --> 00:09:57,562 -He had a gun. 226 00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:58,729 -Yeah. 227 00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:01,832 But he was...You guys have holsters and things. 228 00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:04,268 I don't know that he had any other place to put it. 229 00:10:04,269 --> 00:10:06,370 So he just had it in his hand. 230 00:10:06,371 --> 00:10:08,539 -Look, what do I know? 231 00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:11,208 But to me, this looks like breaking and entering 232 00:10:11,209 --> 00:10:12,477 And a theft. 233 00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,345 -She's a good cop. 234 00:10:14,346 --> 00:10:17,515 -But that's really jumping to conclusions, because... 235 00:10:17,516 --> 00:10:19,149 You know, he pushed me. 236 00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:20,985 He did shove me. 237 00:10:20,986 --> 00:10:22,319 He did take things, 238 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,121 But I don't know if you wanna call it... 239 00:10:24,122 --> 00:10:26,457 I wouldn't use the "t" word. 240 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,392 -Sir, do you...I'm sorry to interrupt here. 241 00:10:28,393 --> 00:10:32,062 But do you or do you not wanna press charges against this... 242 00:10:32,063 --> 00:10:33,631 -Oh, I don't think so. 243 00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:35,532 I don't think...I don't think that's appropriate. 244 00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:36,601 -Ok, then. 245 00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:37,868 -I don't want you to press charges, 246 00:10:37,869 --> 00:10:42,506 Although if you see him and he's with my daughter, 247 00:10:42,507 --> 00:10:45,042 I would love to just get her back here. 248 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,315 -Where are we, by the way? 249 00:10:51,316 --> 00:10:57,188 -Uh, I think virginia's 2 blocks that way. 250 00:10:57,189 --> 00:11:00,925 -The sun is behind us and it's moving this way. 251 00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:02,694 It's not moving this way. 252 00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:03,961 -So we're headed-- 253 00:11:03,962 --> 00:11:05,562 -We're headed east. 254 00:11:05,563 --> 00:11:06,564 -Are you sure? 255 00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:08,932 -No. 256 00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:11,335 -I probably could've been a park ranger. 257 00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:12,970 -Oh, that's the life. 258 00:11:12,971 --> 00:11:15,072 -The crips never go camping. 259 00:11:15,073 --> 00:11:16,074 Crips don't go camping. 260 00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:17,074 The bloods don't go camping. 261 00:11:17,075 --> 00:11:18,075 The latin kings. 262 00:11:18,076 --> 00:11:19,544 None of those motherfuckers camp. 263 00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:20,711 You know who camps? 264 00:11:20,712 --> 00:11:21,712 Nice people. 265 00:11:21,713 --> 00:11:22,713 -Nice germans. 266 00:11:22,714 --> 00:11:23,714 -Nice germans. 267 00:11:23,715 --> 00:11:24,715 Friendly germans. 268 00:11:24,716 --> 00:11:26,517 -Little japanese kids. 269 00:11:26,518 --> 00:11:27,751 -Yeah. 270 00:11:27,752 --> 00:11:29,120 -Which way do we say? 271 00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:30,287 Airport's that way. 272 00:11:30,288 --> 00:11:33,057 But the catholic school is right there. 273 00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:36,194 We're gonna have to run the gauntlet and do the catholic school, I guess. 274 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,395 We'll say fbi. 275 00:11:37,396 --> 00:11:39,597 -Right. 276 00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:40,597 Fbi! 277 00:11:40,598 --> 00:11:41,599 Fbi! 278 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,600 -Nothing to see here. 279 00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:43,801 -Nothing to see. Fbi. 280 00:11:50,108 --> 00:11:51,108 -What's up, boys? 281 00:11:51,109 --> 00:11:52,610 How you doing? 282 00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:55,445 S. Jones. 283 00:11:55,446 --> 00:12:00,017 Today we're visiting a known serial killer. 284 00:12:00,018 --> 00:12:02,019 Very dangerous man. 285 00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:05,356 Hello. 286 00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:06,924 Hello. 287 00:12:06,925 --> 00:12:09,927 I wanna know about cindy wong, ok? 288 00:12:09,928 --> 00:12:12,463 -Look at you, asking questions. 289 00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:15,933 Boy, you the man now, ain't you? 290 00:12:15,934 --> 00:12:17,901 Come a long way, haven't you? 291 00:12:17,902 --> 00:12:20,705 -Well, I always have been the man. 292 00:12:20,706 --> 00:12:21,705 You just never knew. 293 00:12:21,706 --> 00:12:22,707 -Oh, yeah. 294 00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:23,841 Yeah, you always been the man. 295 00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:25,142 -Yeah. 296 00:12:25,143 --> 00:12:26,710 -Were you the man back in the hood? 297 00:12:26,711 --> 00:12:28,246 Back in the old days? 298 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,947 Huh? 299 00:12:29,948 --> 00:12:32,583 Those broken and desperate streets. 300 00:12:32,584 --> 00:12:34,152 You hanging with your homies, 301 00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:36,019 Drinking bumpers, smoking blunts, 302 00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:40,658 Playing stickball on streets with cars with no hubcaps. 303 00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:42,894 Just so you can bust and survive, little bitch, 304 00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,095 To scrape together a little cheddar so you can bring 305 00:12:45,096 --> 00:12:48,999 A hambone to your mama. 306 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:55,239 -Actually, I grew up in a real lame suburb of minnesota called mound. 307 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,508 Pretty privileged, actually. 308 00:12:57,509 --> 00:12:59,744 -Oh. 309 00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:00,778 Really? 310 00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,980 -Yeah. 311 00:13:02,981 --> 00:13:04,314 Cindy wong. 312 00:13:04,315 --> 00:13:05,682 -Oh, yeah. 313 00:13:05,683 --> 00:13:07,051 I buried her under the stairs. 314 00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:08,118 -Cool. 315 00:13:08,119 --> 00:13:09,386 All right. Thanks, man. 316 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,060 -We see you. 317 00:13:17,061 --> 00:13:18,062 Yeah, we see you. 318 00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:19,062 -Come on! 319 00:13:19,063 --> 00:13:20,164 -Ok. 320 00:13:20,165 --> 00:13:21,565 Cool your cookies, sir. What's going on? 321 00:13:21,566 --> 00:13:22,566 What's the matter? 322 00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:23,567 -Come on, man. 323 00:13:23,568 --> 00:13:25,536 Someone stole all my assault rifles. 324 00:13:25,537 --> 00:13:27,138 All my guns. 325 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,806 I had this double uzi. 326 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:31,342 You guys ever seen z.Z. Top, that double guitar? 327 00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:32,476 I had a double uzi. 328 00:13:32,477 --> 00:13:33,544 It was sweet. 329 00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:36,280 I had a bazooka, sentimental value. 330 00:13:36,281 --> 00:13:38,048 My grandpa gave it to me. 331 00:13:38,049 --> 00:13:39,549 -Now, let's start here. 332 00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:42,320 If we had the, um, permits 333 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,754 For all these rifles and sawed-off shotguns, 334 00:13:44,755 --> 00:13:46,224 We might be able to find-- 335 00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,326 -I make my own permits. 336 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:51,896 Sometimes you got to shoot someone before the 10 days. 337 00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:54,264 -Have you had to do that recently? 338 00:13:54,265 --> 00:13:55,299 Have you had to shoot someone? 339 00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:56,333 -Hell, yeah. 340 00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:57,334 People comin' around here. 341 00:13:57,335 --> 00:13:58,602 I got a drop tonight. 342 00:13:58,603 --> 00:14:00,838 I got this afghani hash comin' in. 343 00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:04,041 And these old boys are gonna come around, try to get my stuff 344 00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:07,177 And I'm gonna need at least an uzi. 345 00:14:07,178 --> 00:14:09,980 -You know that drugs are illegal, right? 346 00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:11,248 -No, no, no. It depends. 347 00:14:11,249 --> 00:14:13,183 People need drugs for all different reasons. 348 00:14:13,184 --> 00:14:15,252 -So you have medical hashish. 349 00:14:15,253 --> 00:14:17,922 -Medical hashish, medical cocaine, medical acid. 350 00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:19,557 I got it all, man. 351 00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:21,692 Where are you guys taking me? 352 00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:23,593 -We're gonna take you to find your sawed-off shotguns. 353 00:14:23,594 --> 00:14:25,062 -We're gonna find some guns and some drugs. 354 00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:25,996 -Now we're talking. 355 00:14:39,978 --> 00:14:42,012 [car alarms blaring] 356 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,589 [both shouting] 357 00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:55,192 -Alarm. 358 00:14:55,193 --> 00:14:56,861 Go. 359 00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:57,895 Oh! 360 00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,030 Oh! 361 00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,030 Hot! 362 00:15:00,031 --> 00:15:01,031 Hot! Hot! 363 00:15:01,032 --> 00:15:02,032 Hot! 364 00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:03,033 Oh, my gosh! 365 00:15:03,034 --> 00:15:04,034 It's hot! Hot! 366 00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:05,035 All right. 367 00:15:05,036 --> 00:15:06,037 Ok. 368 00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:07,037 -What do you do? 369 00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,038 -You got to get-- 370 00:15:08,039 --> 00:15:09,039 You snap off the steering column. 371 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,041 Two wires. 372 00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:11,041 -Yeah. 373 00:15:11,042 --> 00:15:12,043 -Yellow, red. 374 00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:13,043 Connect 'em up at the top. 375 00:15:13,044 --> 00:15:14,044 -Ok. 376 00:15:14,045 --> 00:15:15,045 -Ah. 377 00:15:15,046 --> 00:15:16,046 I can get in there now. 378 00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:18,415 -What if they're blue and black? 379 00:15:18,416 --> 00:15:19,516 -No, that's wrong. 380 00:15:19,517 --> 00:15:20,551 They got to be yellow and red. 381 00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:21,551 -Well, they're blue and black. 382 00:15:21,552 --> 00:15:22,887 -I might be thinking of stereo. 383 00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:24,789 -That's right and left. 384 00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:26,056 -Audio. 385 00:15:26,057 --> 00:15:27,291 No, it's audio. 386 00:15:27,292 --> 00:15:28,392 -That's rca. 387 00:15:28,393 --> 00:15:30,060 -The yellow one's video. 388 00:15:30,061 --> 00:15:32,263 -Oh, shit. 389 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,064 -What are you doing in my car? 390 00:15:34,065 --> 00:15:35,065 -Oh. 391 00:15:35,066 --> 00:15:36,067 -Hi. 392 00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:37,067 -Oh, god. 393 00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:38,502 Why are you naked? 394 00:15:38,503 --> 00:15:40,070 I am so sick of things like this happening to me! 395 00:15:40,071 --> 00:15:41,071 -Whoa! 396 00:15:41,072 --> 00:15:42,072 -Ho! 397 00:15:42,073 --> 00:15:43,774 Ho! 398 00:15:43,775 --> 00:15:47,077 -I'm sick of things like this happening to me! 399 00:15:47,078 --> 00:15:48,512 [both yelling] 400 00:15:57,189 --> 00:16:00,257 -Say, helen, did you hear about this lady who killed that 401 00:16:00,258 --> 00:16:02,026 Other lady for her baby? 402 00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:03,827 -Sure I did, mary. 403 00:16:03,828 --> 00:16:09,934 Happened right... In her own home. 404 00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:13,804 -Which means today, more than ever, it's time for 405 00:16:13,805 --> 00:16:16,606 The police tek 2000 body guard. 406 00:16:16,607 --> 00:16:20,878 With a flick of the wrist... 407 00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:22,980 You unleash the power 408 00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:25,682 Of a professional police nightstick 409 00:16:25,683 --> 00:16:29,419 Made from heavy-duty ali--aluminum. 410 00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:31,221 -But I've never used a nightstick. 411 00:16:31,222 --> 00:16:36,293 -That's why it comes with this instructional dvd. 412 00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:40,064 In just 40 minutes, you'll learn all of the nightstick 413 00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:43,634 Methods used by real police officers. 414 00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:45,069 -You'll learn patented moves like... 415 00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:58,449 -Whoo! 416 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,850 Sounds like I can finally start jogging again. 417 00:17:00,851 --> 00:17:05,122 -Or go to the park in a skirt or swimwear. 418 00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:10,560 -And just remember to bring your big, black body guard. 419 00:17:10,561 --> 00:17:13,531 -Your police tek 2000 body guard. 420 00:17:17,668 --> 00:17:19,636 -¿te habla espanol, tambien? 421 00:17:19,637 --> 00:17:20,771 -No, sir. 422 00:17:20,772 --> 00:17:23,140 -Well, you better aprende some espanol, 423 00:17:23,141 --> 00:17:25,375 'cause we got a lot of them spicks around here. 424 00:17:25,376 --> 00:17:32,549 -You know what I have to learn how to say in espanol? 425 00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:34,518 I have to learn how to say that, right? 426 00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:36,219 -Freeze. 427 00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:38,422 How do you say "freeze" in espanol? 428 00:17:38,423 --> 00:17:40,357 -I know that "ice" is hielo. 429 00:17:40,358 --> 00:17:46,029 So maybe you can go, por favor, say "ice" in hielo. 430 00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:48,998 Make yourself ice. 431 00:17:48,999 --> 00:17:50,468 -That's a good one. 432 00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,002 Say "ice" in hielo. 433 00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:53,437 -Say "ice" in hielo. 434 00:17:53,438 --> 00:17:56,040 Sounds like "your ass is yellow," which it also mean, 435 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,508 "you're a coward." 436 00:17:57,509 --> 00:17:58,575 -You're a coward. 437 00:17:58,576 --> 00:17:59,577 -So it has double meaning. 438 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:00,644 -Yeah. 439 00:18:00,645 --> 00:18:04,681 -Por favor, say "ice" in hielo. 440 00:18:04,682 --> 00:18:06,283 Make yourself like ice. 441 00:18:06,284 --> 00:18:07,984 -Make yourself like ice. 442 00:18:07,985 --> 00:18:10,487 -Por favor, say "ice" in hielo. 443 00:18:10,488 --> 00:18:11,788 -Yell it out. 444 00:18:11,789 --> 00:18:13,957 See what he says. 445 00:18:13,958 --> 00:18:16,026 -If I'd rolled down the window, he would've listened to me. 446 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,068 [bell ringing] 447 00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:28,505 And now, deputy and lady. 448 00:18:28,506 --> 00:18:30,040 -Good morning, boys and girls. 449 00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:31,775 We're very glad to be here. 450 00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:33,643 Isn't this exciting, lady? 451 00:18:33,644 --> 00:18:35,879 -I guess so. 452 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,748 You don't sound very happy. 453 00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:39,416 What's wrong? 454 00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:43,253 -I'm not feeling very good about myself. 455 00:18:43,254 --> 00:18:44,321 -But why? 456 00:18:44,322 --> 00:18:46,090 You're so pretty. 457 00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:48,492 -I know, but I'm also a dummy. 458 00:18:48,493 --> 00:18:51,395 And it turns out I'm stupid, too. 459 00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:53,497 -What do you mean? 460 00:18:53,498 --> 00:18:55,833 -I didn't graduate from high school. 461 00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:57,368 -Lady, no. 462 00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:58,769 -It's true. 463 00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:02,305 I spent my senior year making out with my boyfriend 464 00:19:02,306 --> 00:19:04,040 In his hearse all night. 465 00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:06,710 Then I'd sleep all day and watch soap operas 466 00:19:06,711 --> 00:19:08,345 All afternoon. 467 00:19:08,346 --> 00:19:11,481 Now I can't get a job frying french fries 'cause I don't 468 00:19:11,482 --> 00:19:13,717 Have a high school diploma. 469 00:19:13,718 --> 00:19:17,588 And the only job I can get involves having yahoos like 470 00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:20,323 You with your hand up my skirt. 471 00:19:20,324 --> 00:19:23,993 -So what advice would you have for the kids today? 472 00:19:23,994 --> 00:19:27,331 -Don't...Drop...Out. 473 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,466 Drop... In. 474 00:19:29,467 --> 00:19:36,573 Truancy...Is...For... Dummies. 475 00:19:36,574 --> 00:19:39,609 Ahhhhhhh! 476 00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:40,611 You're sitting on my dick. 477 00:19:40,612 --> 00:19:41,612 Oh, is that what that is? 478 00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:42,545 Yeah. 479 00:19:51,655 --> 00:19:53,056 -Nice day, though. 480 00:19:53,057 --> 00:19:55,259 -It's pretty nice. 481 00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,860 -Hey, hey, hey. 482 00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:58,128 Check it out. 483 00:19:58,129 --> 00:19:59,128 Clothes. 484 00:19:59,129 --> 00:20:00,063 -Oh. 485 00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:10,340 [rock music playing] 486 00:20:10,341 --> 00:20:13,844 -Uh...Hi. 487 00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:15,012 Hello. 488 00:20:25,089 --> 00:20:26,724 -Look at this. 489 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,459 Look at the butt cellulite. 490 00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:29,493 Look at that. 491 00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:30,694 -She's 150. 492 00:20:30,695 --> 00:20:32,829 She shouldn't be wearing a bathing suit. 493 00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:34,564 -Excuse me. 494 00:20:34,565 --> 00:20:35,799 Wait a second. 495 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,236 Wait a second. 496 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:42,372 -I really appreciate it. 497 00:20:42,373 --> 00:20:44,141 Thank you for your helmet. 498 00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:45,275 -Thanks for the loaner. 499 00:20:45,276 --> 00:20:50,948 -Nice meeting you. 500 00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:52,683 -Afternoon. 501 00:20:52,684 --> 00:20:54,985 -Hi. 502 00:20:54,986 --> 00:20:58,122 Captioning made possible by mtv networks 503 00:20:58,123 --> 00:21:01,058 Captioned by national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org-- 504 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,062 -We playin' "memoirs of a geisha." 505 00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:06,062 Who's my punkin'? 506 00:21:06,063 --> 00:21:09,066 Here we go. In you go, in you go. 507 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:10,066 Ah, those memoirs. 508 00:21:10,067 --> 00:21:11,568 -Huh? Huh? 509 00:21:11,569 --> 00:21:13,003 [spitting] 510 00:21:16,073 --> 00:21:18,075 -Hey, sir, you know what happened? 511 00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:19,576 I must have hit you back there. 512 00:21:19,577 --> 00:21:21,578 -Why do I taste gold bond's? 513 00:21:21,579 --> 00:21:24,248 -Sometimes they say when you get a concussion-- 514 00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:26,249 -It tastes like gold bond's powder? 515 00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,918 -Yeah, gold bond medicated powder. 516 00:21:27,919 --> 00:21:29,253 -Yeah, I think, uh-- 517 00:21:29,254 --> 00:21:31,088 -Well, I'm glad I pulled over to help you out. 518 00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:32,589 -Real nice to meet you. -Good seeing you. 519 00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:37,189 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33941

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