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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,734 --> 00:00:05,303 Captioning made possible by mtv networks 2 00:00:05,304 --> 00:00:07,105 - Garcia! - Garcia! 3 00:00:07,106 --> 00:00:08,840 - Open the door! - Open up! 4 00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:12,477 - Garcia, a cyanide truck jack-knifed again! 5 00:00:12,478 --> 00:00:13,744 - Cyanide truck? - Put this on. 6 00:00:13,745 --> 00:00:15,680 - Put it on! 7 00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:17,315 - Ok, where are we going? - Let's go, let's go! 8 00:00:17,316 --> 00:00:18,250 - Come on. 9 00:00:20,986 --> 00:00:22,521 What did you put in there? 10 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,521 - Ether. 11 00:00:23,522 --> 00:00:24,555 - Aah! 12 00:00:24,556 --> 00:00:26,124 - Ha ha ha! - Give me 5! 13 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,327 - Aah! 14 00:00:29,328 --> 00:00:30,661 [siren] 15 00:00:32,364 --> 00:00:33,298 - Why? - No, no. 16 00:00:41,073 --> 00:00:42,207 - Go, go, go! 17 00:00:52,618 --> 00:00:54,819 - [crowd cheering] 18 00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:56,855 [machine gun firing] - ha ha ha! 19 00:00:59,258 --> 00:01:01,326 - Hey, where-- - oh! Oh! Oh! 20 00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:04,529 - Ooh! [siren] 21 00:01:11,336 --> 00:01:13,504 - Ok. Two words. Sounds like... 22 00:01:13,505 --> 00:01:14,772 - First word. 23 00:01:14,773 --> 00:01:17,342 - Watch, time... 24 00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,943 Sounds like... 25 00:01:18,944 --> 00:01:20,411 - Drive. - Drive by. 26 00:01:20,412 --> 00:01:22,413 - Car. Time card. 27 00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:23,448 - Time card. 28 00:01:23,449 --> 00:01:24,983 - Time card! - Time card! 29 00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:27,219 - Internal affairs wants to see all of your time cards. 30 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:32,290 They're doing an investigation, and they're, uh, pretty pissed. 31 00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:33,658 - Oh! - Hey, you're late. 32 00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:35,192 - Yeah. 33 00:01:35,193 --> 00:01:38,296 - All at prices so low and quality so high, 34 00:01:38,297 --> 00:01:41,099 It's got to be high sierra carpeting. 35 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,268 - Hold on. - Right off I-80 at exit 57. 36 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,503 - You want us to buy carpet? 37 00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,904 - No. - Great carpeting, better prices. 38 00:01:46,905 --> 00:01:52,410 ♪ and the installation is free ♪ - ♪ free ♪ 39 00:01:52,411 --> 00:01:54,712 [turns off radio] that was--that was me. 40 00:01:54,713 --> 00:01:56,281 All: No! That's you? 41 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,516 What?! 42 00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:58,917 - You're the installation is free guy? 43 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,518 - I'm the high sierra guy, yeah. 44 00:02:00,519 --> 00:02:02,520 - [all cheering] 45 00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:04,289 - Yeah! 46 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,857 - Congratulations! - I know! 47 00:02:05,858 --> 00:02:08,293 I can't believe it, man. I cannot believe it. 48 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:12,363 - Is that why I see all the bling-bling over there? 49 00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:13,865 What's the earrings all about? 50 00:02:13,866 --> 00:02:16,567 - Yee! Woo woo! 51 00:02:16,568 --> 00:02:18,436 - Stop. Just come on. Come here. 52 00:02:18,437 --> 00:02:20,071 I got to show you something. Just come here. 53 00:02:20,072 --> 00:02:21,873 - Oh, my goodness! - Aah! 54 00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:23,708 - That is not your car. 55 00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:28,513 - Black on black. - How much do you get paid that you can afford this? 56 00:02:28,514 --> 00:02:29,681 - Hey, I'm gettin' paid $200 57 00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:32,750 Every time my wonderful commercial comes on. 58 00:02:32,751 --> 00:02:35,086 - Well, I heard it, like, 4 times comin' in to work today. 59 00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:37,088 - Yeah. It's on, like, every 90 seconds. 60 00:02:37,089 --> 00:02:39,490 Yeah, blah blah blau! Blah blah blau! 61 00:02:39,491 --> 00:02:41,125 - Dude! Wow! 62 00:02:41,126 --> 00:02:42,159 - Hey, open it up! 63 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,161 - Look out, look out, look out. 64 00:02:44,162 --> 00:02:45,896 Open the car for jonesy. 65 00:02:45,897 --> 00:02:47,098 [beep] 66 00:02:47,099 --> 00:02:48,533 All: Ohh! 67 00:02:48,534 --> 00:02:50,301 - Oh, yes. 68 00:02:50,302 --> 00:02:52,503 - You know, you got a thing in your pocket or something. - No! 69 00:02:52,504 --> 00:02:54,138 - It's voice-activated? - Ok, yeah. No, I do. 70 00:02:54,139 --> 00:02:56,508 I got it. - Oh. 71 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,610 - I'm huggin' a star. Look at that. 72 00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:01,078 - I'm gonna get on this side. Hey, jonesy sandwich. 73 00:03:01,079 --> 00:03:04,749 - No, don't--she's on me. - A jonesy sandwich. - I don't want her on me! 74 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:06,784 - And I don't want to be hugged, like, everybody, ok? 75 00:03:06,785 --> 00:03:08,118 Just calm down. - Ok. We're all adults. 76 00:03:13,892 --> 00:03:16,227 - Bang! - Jeez! God! 77 00:03:16,228 --> 00:03:17,728 - Bang! - Jim. 78 00:03:17,729 --> 00:03:19,363 - I'm just goin' through it again in my head. 79 00:03:19,364 --> 00:03:23,468 How do you get 3 shots off on a man with two guns? 80 00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:26,704 And why do you bring him delicious, piping hot arby's 81 00:03:26,705 --> 00:03:28,773 Right before you're gonna blow him away? 82 00:03:28,774 --> 00:03:30,875 How can juan-- don't touch that, trudy! 83 00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:32,910 - Jim. - Put it back. 84 00:03:32,911 --> 00:03:33,978 - The first rule-- 85 00:03:33,979 --> 00:03:36,581 - Put it back. Let's go from the top, ok? 86 00:03:36,582 --> 00:03:40,518 - Don't mind me. I'm just doing cocaine. 87 00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:41,620 - Hey, rico. 88 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:42,554 - Hey. 89 00:03:45,157 --> 00:03:47,358 - What you doin' with my blow? - Just snortin' it. 90 00:03:47,359 --> 00:03:49,494 - I went out to get you a delicious, piping hot 91 00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:51,095 Arby's roast beef sandwich, 92 00:03:51,096 --> 00:03:54,399 And I find out you're doin' my blow while I'm gone? 93 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,736 - Jim, this makes your mouth numb. 94 00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,338 - Don't do that for real. From the top. 95 00:04:00,339 --> 00:04:01,573 - Ok. 96 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,341 Places! Ha ha. 97 00:04:03,342 --> 00:04:06,744 Ok. I'm sorry. 98 00:04:06,745 --> 00:04:08,746 - Oh, hey, rico, I'm back. 99 00:04:08,747 --> 00:04:10,682 I'm actin' casual. I'm bein' cool. 100 00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:12,450 Nothin's up. Nothin's up at all. 101 00:04:12,451 --> 00:04:14,786 All I did was go get some delicious, piping hot arby's. 102 00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:17,121 I see you're jacking off in this scenario. 103 00:04:17,122 --> 00:04:24,162 Ok, well, I got a delicious beef and cheddar for you... 104 00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:27,666 And, boom! You're goin' downtown. 105 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:30,568 Last time you were short on the count, motherfucker. 106 00:04:30,569 --> 00:04:32,737 - Monkey roll, monk-- - ok, that's a trajectory. 107 00:04:32,738 --> 00:04:34,038 It's ok, keep goin', keep goin'. - Ok. 108 00:04:34,039 --> 00:04:36,674 - 1, 2, 3. 109 00:04:36,675 --> 00:04:38,643 And I thought I'd bring you a little peace offering, 110 00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:40,044 Some delicious arby's. 111 00:04:40,045 --> 00:04:41,546 Go back--no, no, no. No, no, no. 112 00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:43,180 This never happened. - Oh. 113 00:04:43,181 --> 00:04:44,915 - This never happened that we know of. 114 00:04:44,916 --> 00:04:47,518 You go back on ca-- no. Go back. 115 00:04:47,519 --> 00:04:48,453 - You said back. - Rico. 116 00:04:54,026 --> 00:04:55,527 - Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 117 00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:56,594 Whoa, whoa. 118 00:04:56,595 --> 00:04:58,930 - Great carpeting, better prices. 119 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:04,435 - ♪ and the installation is free ♪ - ahh! Ha ha ha ha ha! 120 00:05:04,436 --> 00:05:05,603 - Whoo whoo! - Yeah. 121 00:05:05,604 --> 00:05:07,538 - Yeah! - Ha ha. That's me. 122 00:05:07,539 --> 00:05:09,173 - That's him. - That's me, timothy. 123 00:05:09,174 --> 00:05:10,575 - That's you? - Yeah. 124 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,277 That was my commercial. 125 00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,946 ♪ and the installation is free ♪ 126 00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:16,981 - Oh, hell, no! That was you? - Yeah, mm-hmm. 127 00:05:16,982 --> 00:05:19,150 - Oh, man. Hey, man, you think, like, 128 00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:20,885 When I get out or something, we could do something together? 129 00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:24,489 - Why--are you--you-- you in the industry? - Yeah, man! 130 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:28,192 You can't tell I know suge? Man, that's crazy, man-- 131 00:05:28,193 --> 00:05:29,293 - Y'all don't understand! - I rap, too. 132 00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:31,595 - You do? - Yeah. I rap! 133 00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:33,397 ♪ I saw somebody, I killed him, too ♪ 134 00:05:33,398 --> 00:05:35,433 ♪ he tried to run from me, so then I killed him ♪ 135 00:05:35,434 --> 00:05:38,036 ♪ and then he tried to run, I shot him, killed him ♪ 136 00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:39,370 ♪ kill him, run, I shot him ♪ 137 00:05:39,371 --> 00:05:41,072 ♪ don't run, don't run again, punk ♪ 138 00:05:41,073 --> 00:05:43,241 ♪ don't run again, punk, don't run again, punk ♪ 139 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,445 - That didn't rhyme, man. 140 00:05:47,446 --> 00:05:51,383 ♪ and the installation is free ♪ 141 00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,485 Ta ta tee tee ta ta... 142 00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:56,487 You use your diaphragm. Ta ta-- 143 00:05:56,488 --> 00:05:59,057 - My girlfriend wore a diaphragm, I still got a baby. 144 00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:08,066 - Hi, rico. 145 00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,901 I just got back with that delicious arby's 146 00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:11,569 You asked me to get. 147 00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:13,104 - Thanks for the arby's, juan. 148 00:06:13,105 --> 00:06:14,271 - I'm clean, man. 149 00:06:14,272 --> 00:06:16,841 - I'm gonna have to check it out. 150 00:06:16,842 --> 00:06:20,144 - Check all you want. Ok, check other places. 151 00:06:20,145 --> 00:06:21,645 - This is probably what he would do. 152 00:06:21,646 --> 00:06:24,048 - Ok, don't--hey, trudy, trudy. 153 00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:26,618 Ok. Ok, we get it. We get it, ok? 154 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,752 Disfrute, rico. Disfrute. 155 00:06:28,753 --> 00:06:31,055 - There's over $1,000 here. 156 00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:32,923 - Pay attention for 5 fucking seconds. 157 00:06:32,924 --> 00:06:34,058 That's not important. So you have-- 158 00:06:34,059 --> 00:06:37,428 - [fake spanish] tengala caya para bullshit! 159 00:06:37,429 --> 00:06:39,597 Fucking maya, oh! 160 00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:41,965 Monkey roll, monkey roll, monkey roll. 161 00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:44,201 Jim, you got to act out what you thought it was. 162 00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:45,537 - I know. I agree, 163 00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,671 But you didn't do the part that I asked you to do, ok. 164 00:06:47,672 --> 00:06:49,007 - What part? - Hey, enjoy. 165 00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:51,009 It's my little gift-a to you, ok? 166 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,577 You have a nice time. 167 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,546 Eating arby's eating arby's, eating arby's, eating arby's. 168 00:06:55,547 --> 00:06:57,849 Boom! - Monkey roll, monkey roll, monkey-- 169 00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,550 - Uh, I was gettin' to poison, not monkey roll. 170 00:06:59,551 --> 00:07:01,552 - Oh. - Poison. 171 00:07:01,553 --> 00:07:03,354 And now that I've poisoned you, 172 00:07:03,355 --> 00:07:06,791 I'm gonna send a message to all the other capos and jefes, 173 00:07:06,792 --> 00:07:11,095 And it's gonna go like this--bam, bam, 174 00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:13,898 Shoot the man who's already dead. 175 00:07:13,899 --> 00:07:15,399 That's it. 176 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,768 [whispering] hey, travis. F.B.I. 177 00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:20,137 - F.B.I.? - Yes, I can hold. 178 00:07:20,138 --> 00:07:21,606 I'm on hold with the f.B.I. We got it. 179 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,740 We cracked it. 180 00:07:22,741 --> 00:07:23,975 - You cracked it? You figured it out? 181 00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:25,676 - Yeah. Already dead. 182 00:07:25,677 --> 00:07:27,144 - Already dead? - Poisoned. 183 00:07:27,145 --> 00:07:28,712 - Why'd they shoot him 3 times? 184 00:07:28,713 --> 00:07:30,048 - Message to the other jefes. 185 00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:32,216 - Ah, that makes sense. 186 00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:33,751 - Message. That's to send a message. 187 00:07:33,752 --> 00:07:35,787 Hey, hey, hey. 188 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:36,721 - Yeah? 189 00:07:38,390 --> 00:07:39,723 - What are you doin'? 190 00:07:39,724 --> 00:07:42,026 - It's evidence. - No, remember? 191 00:07:42,027 --> 00:07:44,762 Before I put the tape up, I got arby's. 192 00:07:44,763 --> 00:07:46,497 You said you were gonna come in, I should leave you 193 00:07:46,498 --> 00:07:47,932 Some delicious arby's on the table 194 00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:49,834 Cause you wanted some arby's, too. 195 00:07:49,835 --> 00:07:52,003 It's cold, though. You guys have been in here for like 7 hours. 196 00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:54,038 - Shit. I hope they don't have caller I.D. 197 00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:58,642 [sigh] the f.B.I. Probably has caller I.D., right? 198 00:07:58,643 --> 00:07:59,843 [cell phone rings] - I would think. 199 00:07:59,844 --> 00:08:01,513 - They're callin' back. Great. 200 00:08:07,986 --> 00:08:09,920 - Yeah, let's sing that again. 201 00:08:09,921 --> 00:08:13,390 - [with commercial] ♪ and the installation is free ♪ 202 00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:15,593 - You're fucking butchering it, all right? 203 00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:17,695 You are butchering my shit. 204 00:08:17,696 --> 00:08:18,896 - Did pretty good, man. - Thank you. 205 00:08:18,897 --> 00:08:20,264 - No, don't give him none of that! 206 00:08:20,265 --> 00:08:22,033 No gap, all right? 207 00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:24,268 You're fucking butchering my song. 208 00:08:24,269 --> 00:08:25,503 - Butcherin' it? 209 00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:27,539 So you tryin' to pin somethin' else on me! 210 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:30,474 ♪ timothy, you don't want to see me kill you, do you ? ♪ 211 00:08:30,475 --> 00:08:32,042 ♪ because it'll be the last thing you see ♪ 212 00:08:32,043 --> 00:08:34,745 ♪ when you close your eyes and you see timothy ♪ 213 00:08:34,746 --> 00:08:37,181 ♪ creepin' in your bedroom, shoot you in your face ♪ 214 00:08:37,182 --> 00:08:38,949 ♪ right in the face, no other place ♪ 215 00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:40,552 ♪ can't be erased, can't be replaced ♪ 216 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:43,688 ♪ it's just me, timothy, shoot, shoot, kill, kill ♪ 217 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,890 ♪ I kill the cops all the time and everybody... ♪ 218 00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:50,061 What-- 219 00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:52,630 - What you do? You do what? 220 00:08:52,631 --> 00:08:56,167 [siren] 221 00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,837 [siren, gunshot] 222 00:08:59,838 --> 00:09:02,507 [commercial on radio] - ho! Ho, ho, ho! 223 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:05,276 Here it comes. - Good carpeting, better prices. 224 00:09:05,277 --> 00:09:10,814 - ♪ and the installation is free ♪ - wow! That is awesome. 225 00:09:10,815 --> 00:09:12,015 - I know. - That is so good. 226 00:09:12,016 --> 00:09:13,618 - I'm blessed. 227 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,819 - So the deal is like everybody, they're gettin' calls sayin', 228 00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:17,621 "hey, we love that voice. 229 00:09:17,622 --> 00:09:19,923 It's so beautiful, you gotta make a tv commercial." 230 00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:22,627 That's what they're sayin'? - That's what--apparently, yeah. 231 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,161 - That's so cool. 232 00:09:24,162 --> 00:09:25,763 - You want one of these? [dispatcher on radio] 233 00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:27,865 - No, I'm all right. 234 00:09:27,866 --> 00:09:29,433 - Uh... 235 00:09:29,434 --> 00:09:32,103 - Oh, yeah, cool. Thanks, man. 236 00:09:32,104 --> 00:09:33,270 From the high sierra carpet man. 237 00:09:33,271 --> 00:09:34,571 Cool. I'm just gonna save it 238 00:09:34,572 --> 00:09:36,840 And tell people when they ask, "where'd you get that?" 239 00:09:36,841 --> 00:09:38,843 "oh, my homey does high sierra carpet's..." 240 00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:40,277 - Well, I mean, you can chew it now. 241 00:09:40,278 --> 00:09:42,213 You don't--I mean... - But I want to save it. 242 00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,914 - You know the high sierra carpeting man, 243 00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:45,382 So go ahead and you can chew it. 244 00:09:45,383 --> 00:09:46,450 - Well, what if I run into somebody and then I'm like, "oh," 245 00:09:46,451 --> 00:09:48,286 And it leads to a good, casual conversation. 246 00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,921 They're like, "mmm, hey, jim, where'd you get that gum?" 247 00:09:50,922 --> 00:09:52,624 "oh, you know, I was hangin' out with my homey. 248 00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:53,757 You probably know him. 249 00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:55,192 He does the high sierra carpet commercials. 250 00:09:55,193 --> 00:09:56,427 He sings and the installation's free," 251 00:09:56,428 --> 00:09:57,528 And then they'll freak out. It'll be cool. 252 00:09:57,529 --> 00:09:59,664 - I mean, I have more. You can do it now. 253 00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:00,664 - Well, can I have some to have 254 00:10:00,665 --> 00:10:02,600 And then some to talk about you later? 255 00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:03,835 - Yeah. - Cool. 256 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:04,935 - So you can have it now? 257 00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:08,005 - I'm gonna save 'em both. 258 00:10:08,006 --> 00:10:10,474 - All right. - Sheriff's department! 259 00:10:10,475 --> 00:10:13,077 - We are responding to a 911 call. 260 00:10:13,078 --> 00:10:14,578 Shots have been fired. 261 00:10:14,579 --> 00:10:15,879 - Sheriff's department! 262 00:10:17,115 --> 00:10:18,850 Well, hell. [shots] 263 00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,185 - What [indistinct]? 264 00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:23,721 [spits] - ho. 265 00:10:23,722 --> 00:10:24,722 - Dutch boy. 266 00:10:27,192 --> 00:10:29,326 - Thank you for coming, officers! 267 00:10:29,327 --> 00:10:30,327 [paintball gun firing] - oh, shit! 268 00:10:30,328 --> 00:10:31,462 Ow! - Damn it! 269 00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:35,233 - [shouting and shooting] 270 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,201 - Holy shit! 271 00:10:37,202 --> 00:10:40,905 That stung like a-- spotter 2-in-one compact. 272 00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:44,475 - 2-in-one 68 caliber, semi-automatic. 273 00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:46,910 The thing'll fire about 200 shots a second. 274 00:10:46,911 --> 00:10:48,546 - No mercy! 275 00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:49,747 - Let's go. 276 00:10:49,748 --> 00:10:51,182 Let's go. Come on, now. 277 00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:52,316 Come on! 278 00:10:52,317 --> 00:10:55,252 - When you fuck with me, you fuck with my family! 279 00:10:55,253 --> 00:10:58,288 So fuck you! - Holy shit. 280 00:10:58,289 --> 00:11:01,225 - [men shouting war cry] - all right, we're gonna give you just one last chance. 281 00:11:01,226 --> 00:11:02,927 Lay down your weapons-- [paintballs firing] 282 00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:05,029 - Shit! God damn it! 283 00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:07,031 - [men shouting, [garcia and junior screaming] 284 00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:12,136 [multiple war cries] 285 00:11:16,407 --> 00:11:18,775 - 911, the police need help! 286 00:11:18,776 --> 00:11:21,178 The police need help. Come on, 911. 287 00:11:21,179 --> 00:11:23,113 - [junior screaming] 288 00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:26,650 Holy shit! 289 00:11:26,651 --> 00:11:28,619 - Thank you. Thank you for coming. 290 00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:31,422 Thank you for responding. [war cries] 291 00:11:31,423 --> 00:11:32,924 - Attack! Attack! 292 00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:34,859 [all shouting at once] 293 00:11:37,328 --> 00:11:38,729 - Aah! 294 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,298 Where you goin?! 295 00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:43,901 Aah! Aah! Aah! 296 00:11:43,902 --> 00:11:46,204 - Bye. Bye. 297 00:11:51,376 --> 00:11:52,643 [siren] 298 00:11:52,644 --> 00:11:54,144 [dispatcher drones on radio] 299 00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:57,381 - I've got you. 300 00:11:58,817 --> 00:12:00,718 Oh, damn! 301 00:12:00,719 --> 00:12:02,553 Get him, get him, get him. 302 00:12:02,554 --> 00:12:03,353 - Go, go, go, go, go. 303 00:12:06,091 --> 00:12:08,425 - Ok, hold it, hold it, hold it. It's a dead end. 304 00:12:08,426 --> 00:12:10,761 We'll both lower our voices. 305 00:12:10,762 --> 00:12:13,264 Lower your voice and say-- and say, [deep voice] 306 00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:15,433 "go ahead, make my day." 307 00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:17,602 Then, boom--kick the door in. - That's tacky. I'm not saying that. 308 00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:19,470 I'm not saying that. - What you mean you're not sayin' it? 309 00:12:19,471 --> 00:12:21,339 - Say something original. Say, 310 00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:23,407 "you're goin' down, syndrome!" 311 00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:25,442 Pssshew! Hitch kick. 312 00:12:25,443 --> 00:12:26,510 - No, no, no. 313 00:12:26,511 --> 00:12:28,145 Ooh, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok. 314 00:12:28,146 --> 00:12:30,915 "mama's gonna teach you a lesson." 315 00:12:32,517 --> 00:12:34,151 - It's long, but I like to call myself mama, 316 00:12:34,152 --> 00:12:35,185 So let's do that one. 317 00:12:35,186 --> 00:12:36,187 That's fine. Ok. 318 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,488 - 1, 2, 3. 319 00:12:38,489 --> 00:12:42,526 - Mama's gonna teach you a lesson! 320 00:12:42,527 --> 00:12:44,227 - I'm gonna teach you something! 321 00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:46,764 I'm mama! 322 00:12:47,866 --> 00:12:48,933 - What the hell?! 323 00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:52,937 [banging on gate] it's locked. 324 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,538 - Joe, are you out there? 325 00:12:54,539 --> 00:12:55,472 Joe? 326 00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,445 - We take you now live to the reno sheriff's department. 327 00:13:04,082 --> 00:13:06,017 - My butt itches. [siren wailing] 328 00:13:07,719 --> 00:13:09,520 - Reoww, reoww, reoww, reoww, reoww... 329 00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:16,894 Both: Reoww, reoww, reoww, reoww, reoww, reoww, reoww, 330 00:13:16,895 --> 00:13:20,130 Ooo-wee-ooo-wee- ooo-wee-ooo-wee. 331 00:13:20,131 --> 00:13:22,867 - Rrrr-rrrr-rrrr... 332 00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,235 - You're real good at sound effects. 333 00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:27,872 - Rrrr-rrrr-rrrr. 334 00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:29,807 Both: Woooooooooo-wooooooooooo wooooooooo... 335 00:13:36,648 --> 00:13:38,916 - [emphatic whisper] psst! Hey. 336 00:13:38,917 --> 00:13:40,351 Hey, you're on the air. 337 00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:41,652 - Woooooooooo... 338 00:13:41,653 --> 00:13:43,987 - You're on the air! 339 00:13:43,988 --> 00:13:44,922 - What'd you do? 340 00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:50,661 - Oh, I don't-- good--good afternoon. 341 00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:51,862 I don't know which one to talk into. 342 00:13:52,997 --> 00:13:56,300 [siren] 343 00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:01,505 [siren, gunshot] 344 00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:04,008 - How you doin' today, sir? - I'm all right. 345 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,876 - You know why I pulled you over? - No. 346 00:14:05,877 --> 00:14:07,445 - You was driving all over the road back there 347 00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:08,946 Like some kind of goddamn maniac. 348 00:14:08,947 --> 00:14:10,080 - Bullshit. 349 00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:11,681 - Bull--you step out the vehicle, sir. - Huh? 350 00:14:11,682 --> 00:14:13,584 - Step out the vehicle. - All right. Hang on. 351 00:14:15,787 --> 00:14:16,754 - Missed me. 352 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:29,366 - "you are cordially invited to the world premiere 353 00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:32,536 "of the new high sierra carpeting commercial 354 00:14:32,537 --> 00:14:35,739 Featuring your pal jones.E." 355 00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,075 And he signed it jones.E. 356 00:14:38,076 --> 00:14:41,445 - Oh, goin' with the middle initial now. - That's classy. 357 00:14:41,446 --> 00:14:43,380 [laughter, cheers, applause] 358 00:14:47,485 --> 00:14:48,552 - Can I get your autograph? 359 00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:49,620 - Oh, I don't know. 360 00:14:49,621 --> 00:14:51,221 I don't know about that. Maybe. 361 00:14:51,222 --> 00:14:55,693 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here 362 00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:59,430 To witness a star being born. 363 00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:04,034 A star who will shine for many, many, many, many, many leagues. 364 00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:06,604 And this moment is almost as big as I am, 365 00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:09,640 And I have some important people that I want to thank. 366 00:15:09,641 --> 00:15:11,074 [all cheer] 367 00:15:11,075 --> 00:15:12,742 - Yes, yes, yes, yes. 368 00:15:12,743 --> 00:15:15,746 - First and foremost, you, kiki. 369 00:15:15,747 --> 00:15:20,217 The woman I met 3 days ago on-- 370 00:15:20,218 --> 00:15:24,588 It was a boat of love, a, uh... 371 00:15:24,589 --> 00:15:29,626 A cornucopia of...Doin' it. 372 00:15:29,627 --> 00:15:33,164 And I am so glad that you are in my life. 373 00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:41,639 ♪ I love you ♪ ha ha ha. 374 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,606 I love this bitch. 375 00:15:42,607 --> 00:15:46,476 And so let's make a toast to me. 376 00:15:46,477 --> 00:15:48,079 - Jonesy! 377 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,747 - Look, everyone! It's on! 378 00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:52,015 - Oh! Oh! 379 00:15:52,016 --> 00:15:54,918 - It's gotta be high sierra carpeting. 380 00:15:54,919 --> 00:15:56,787 Right off I-80 at exit 57... 381 00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:59,156 - Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Here comes me! Here I come. 382 00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:00,725 - Better carpeting, better prices. 383 00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:06,464 ♪ and the installation is free ♪ 384 00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:12,203 - Where were you in it? 385 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,638 - Maybe that's the second version of it. 386 00:16:14,639 --> 00:16:15,573 I-- 387 00:16:18,042 --> 00:16:19,843 Baby? Kiki! 388 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,079 Baby girl, come here! 389 00:16:27,318 --> 00:16:29,019 That turtle didn't even look like me! 390 00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:30,687 - Sounded good, though. 391 00:16:30,688 --> 00:16:33,657 - Hey! Jones! Yeah! 392 00:16:35,193 --> 00:16:37,361 Saw the commercial. Hey, what happened, dude? 393 00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:39,430 7-hour shoot, and a turtle. 394 00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:42,866 You went with that? 395 00:16:42,867 --> 00:16:43,900 Well, what happened to me? 396 00:16:48,406 --> 00:16:50,608 Camera ready. Ok. 397 00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:53,877 Um, what happened-- I've only gotten one payment. 398 00:16:53,878 --> 00:16:55,645 $200. What happened-- 399 00:16:55,646 --> 00:16:58,048 I haven't even gotten all my checks, so... 400 00:17:00,851 --> 00:17:01,785 One time. 401 00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:06,857 Ok. [beep] 402 00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:13,197 - That's all? That's it? 403 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,131 - That's it. 404 00:17:21,739 --> 00:17:24,375 - Oh, shit. Hey, did he pay for all this cristal? 405 00:17:27,612 --> 00:17:29,947 - Emergency! Emergency! 406 00:17:29,948 --> 00:17:32,315 - Sir, there's just been a 911 call in the vicinity. 407 00:17:32,316 --> 00:17:34,985 We'll be right back to pay that bill. 408 00:17:34,986 --> 00:17:37,121 Sheriff's department! 409 00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:39,956 [siren] 410 00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:44,461 [siren, gunshot] 411 00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:45,896 - You've got insurance and everything 412 00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:47,064 From places like this? 413 00:17:47,065 --> 00:17:49,133 Yeah. All right. 414 00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:50,634 He's breathing, though, right? 415 00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:51,635 - Yeah, he's alive. 416 00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:56,840 - So what exactly did you do to that poor boy? 417 00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:15,458 About how much does that run? 418 00:18:15,459 --> 00:18:18,662 Oh. All right. 419 00:18:18,663 --> 00:18:21,465 Uh, dangle, we need to wrap this up, 420 00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:23,533 And I probably need to get to a cash machine. 421 00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:31,408 - Oh, wait a minute. Here we go. 422 00:18:31,409 --> 00:18:33,343 Here we go. Lordy, lordy. 423 00:18:34,545 --> 00:18:35,479 Ok. 424 00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:39,816 Well, ollie, ollie, all come free, huh? 425 00:18:41,652 --> 00:18:42,986 Hey. - What?! 426 00:18:42,987 --> 00:18:47,724 - I'm glad you're safe, ok? Ok? 427 00:18:47,725 --> 00:18:51,728 - [crying] - hard night, I know. Your girlfriend left you-- 428 00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:53,830 - [crying] I'm ruined! - No, you're not ruined. 429 00:18:53,831 --> 00:18:56,433 - James, I'm ruined! Everyone hates me! 430 00:18:56,434 --> 00:18:59,770 - Nobody hates you, ok? We all love you. 431 00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:04,240 - They all hate me! Trudy threw a bottle at me. 432 00:19:04,241 --> 00:19:06,143 - I know. Well, don't worry about trudy. 433 00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:07,811 She doesn't matter anyways, ok? 434 00:19:07,812 --> 00:19:13,817 - I'm a turtle now! I am useless! 435 00:19:13,818 --> 00:19:14,984 - Well, that's you! 436 00:19:14,985 --> 00:19:17,120 - No, it's not! I'm not a turtle! 437 00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:19,823 That shit doesn't look like me. 438 00:19:19,824 --> 00:19:21,124 - You brought that. 439 00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:25,929 - You know what it means to love something--somebody? 440 00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:28,231 Kiki! 441 00:19:28,232 --> 00:19:29,667 - Kiki was a whore. 442 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:33,670 - Have you ever fucked somebody for 3 days in a van? 443 00:19:33,671 --> 00:19:35,672 Huh?! Have you?! 444 00:19:35,673 --> 00:19:39,043 What happens to a man when his dream is deferred? 445 00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:41,978 - Your dream's right there. 446 00:19:41,979 --> 00:19:43,480 - No, it's [bleep]! 447 00:19:43,481 --> 00:19:45,882 That fucking turtle, I'm gonna fuck you up! 448 00:19:45,883 --> 00:19:46,816 Aah! 449 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,089 It didn't fuckin' break! [crying] 450 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,157 - Let me tell you something. 451 00:19:54,158 --> 00:19:56,359 In my book, you made it. 452 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,195 You're like the astronauts that went to the moon. 453 00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:00,530 Maybe you didn't get out like neil armstrong, 454 00:20:00,531 --> 00:20:02,265 But you made it to the moon, my friend. 455 00:20:02,266 --> 00:20:05,802 How many people get to dance with the stars? Huh? 456 00:20:05,803 --> 00:20:07,771 You got to dance with the stars. 457 00:20:10,141 --> 00:20:12,642 Tell ya, I don't know what I would've done 458 00:20:12,643 --> 00:20:14,044 If I would've lost you to hollywood. 459 00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:19,883 I mean, I'm happy for the success you might've had, 460 00:20:19,884 --> 00:20:23,420 But I would've lost a good friend, and a partner, 461 00:20:23,421 --> 00:20:26,857 And, dare I say, somebody I think of as 462 00:20:26,858 --> 00:20:28,559 Maybe a brother of mine. 463 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,528 A brother I never had. 464 00:20:31,529 --> 00:20:34,431 And if there's any good news to this, 465 00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:38,168 I guess it's that we could still continue to be partners. 466 00:20:43,341 --> 00:20:45,175 - I wanna go to a strip club. 467 00:20:45,176 --> 00:20:46,242 - You wanna go to a strip club? 468 00:20:46,243 --> 00:20:49,346 - Y-y-yes. 469 00:20:49,347 --> 00:20:52,349 Captioning made possible by mtv networks 470 00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:55,352 Captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org-- 471 00:20:55,353 --> 00:20:57,054 - Oh. Hey. How you doin'? 472 00:20:57,055 --> 00:21:01,058 Boy, I sure learned a lot this week. 473 00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:03,460 A lot about friendship 474 00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:07,631 And keeping your feet on the ground. Ha ha. 475 00:21:07,632 --> 00:21:10,767 If you'd like to learn a little bit more about voiceover work 476 00:21:10,768 --> 00:21:12,969 And/or law enforcement, 477 00:21:12,970 --> 00:21:15,406 Why don't you check out your local library? 478 00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:17,007 I'm sure they'll be able to help you out. 479 00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:20,143 [chuckles] 480 00:21:20,193 --> 00:21:24,743 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35074

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