Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,734 --> 00:00:05,303
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks
2
00:00:05,304 --> 00:00:07,105
- Garcia!
- Garcia!
3
00:00:07,106 --> 00:00:08,840
- Open the door!
- Open up!
4
00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:12,477
- Garcia, a cyanide truck
jack-knifed again!
5
00:00:12,478 --> 00:00:13,744
- Cyanide truck?
- Put this on.
6
00:00:13,745 --> 00:00:15,680
- Put it on!
7
00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:17,315
- Ok, where are we going?
- Let's go, let's go!
8
00:00:17,316 --> 00:00:18,250
- Come on.
9
00:00:20,986 --> 00:00:22,521
What did you put in there?
10
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,521
- Ether.
11
00:00:23,522 --> 00:00:24,555
- Aah!
12
00:00:24,556 --> 00:00:26,124
- Ha ha ha!
- Give me 5!
13
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,327
- Aah!
14
00:00:29,328 --> 00:00:30,661
[siren]
15
00:00:32,364 --> 00:00:33,298
- Why?
- No, no.
16
00:00:41,073 --> 00:00:42,207
- Go, go, go!
17
00:00:52,618 --> 00:00:54,819
- [crowd cheering]
18
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:56,855
[machine gun firing]
- ha ha ha!
19
00:00:59,258 --> 00:01:01,326
- Hey, where--
- oh! Oh! Oh!
20
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:04,529
- Ooh!
[siren]
21
00:01:11,336 --> 00:01:13,504
- Ok. Two words.
Sounds like...
22
00:01:13,505 --> 00:01:14,772
- First word.
23
00:01:14,773 --> 00:01:17,342
- Watch, time...
24
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:18,943
Sounds like...
25
00:01:18,944 --> 00:01:20,411
- Drive.
- Drive by.
26
00:01:20,412 --> 00:01:22,413
- Car.
Time card.
27
00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:23,448
- Time card.
28
00:01:23,449 --> 00:01:24,983
- Time card!
- Time card!
29
00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:27,219
- Internal affairs wants to see
all of your time cards.
30
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:32,290
They're doing an investigation,
and they're, uh, pretty pissed.
31
00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:33,658
- Oh!
- Hey, you're late.
32
00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:35,192
- Yeah.
33
00:01:35,193 --> 00:01:38,296
- All at prices so low
and quality so high,
34
00:01:38,297 --> 00:01:41,099
It's got to be
high sierra carpeting.
35
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,268
- Hold on.
- Right off I-80 at exit 57.
36
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,503
- You want us to buy carpet?
37
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,904
- No.
- Great carpeting, better prices.
38
00:01:46,905 --> 00:01:52,410
ââ¢Âª and the installation is free ââ¢Âª
- ââ¢Âª free ââ¢Âª
39
00:01:52,411 --> 00:01:54,712
[turns off radio]
that was--that was me.
40
00:01:54,713 --> 00:01:56,281
All: No!
That's you?
41
00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,516
What?!
42
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:58,917
- You're the installation
is free guy?
43
00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,518
- I'm the high sierra guy, yeah.
44
00:02:00,519 --> 00:02:02,520
- [all cheering]
45
00:02:02,521 --> 00:02:04,289
- Yeah!
46
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,857
- Congratulations!
- I know!
47
00:02:05,858 --> 00:02:08,293
I can't believe it, man.
I cannot believe it.
48
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:12,363
- Is that why I see
all the bling-bling over there?
49
00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:13,865
What's the earrings all about?
50
00:02:13,866 --> 00:02:16,567
- Yee! Woo woo!
51
00:02:16,568 --> 00:02:18,436
- Stop. Just come on.
Come here.
52
00:02:18,437 --> 00:02:20,071
I got to show you something.
Just come here.
53
00:02:20,072 --> 00:02:21,873
- Oh, my goodness!
- Aah!
54
00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:23,708
- That is not your car.
55
00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:28,513
- Black on black.
- How much do you get paid that you can afford this?
56
00:02:28,514 --> 00:02:29,681
- Hey, I'm gettin' paid $200
57
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:32,750
Every time my wonderful
commercial comes on.
58
00:02:32,751 --> 00:02:35,086
- Well, I heard it, like,
4 times comin' in to work today.
59
00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:37,088
- Yeah.
It's on, like, every 90 seconds.
60
00:02:37,089 --> 00:02:39,490
Yeah, blah blah blau!
Blah blah blau!
61
00:02:39,491 --> 00:02:41,125
- Dude! Wow!
62
00:02:41,126 --> 00:02:42,159
- Hey, open it up!
63
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,161
- Look out, look out, look out.
64
00:02:44,162 --> 00:02:45,896
Open the car for jonesy.
65
00:02:45,897 --> 00:02:47,098
[beep]
66
00:02:47,099 --> 00:02:48,533
All: Ohh!
67
00:02:48,534 --> 00:02:50,301
- Oh, yes.
68
00:02:50,302 --> 00:02:52,503
- You know, you got a thing
in your pocket or something. - No!
69
00:02:52,504 --> 00:02:54,138
- It's voice-activated?
- Ok, yeah. No, I do.
70
00:02:54,139 --> 00:02:56,508
I got it.
- Oh.
71
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,610
- I'm huggin' a star.
Look at that.
72
00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:01,078
- I'm gonna get on this side.
Hey, jonesy sandwich.
73
00:03:01,079 --> 00:03:04,749
- No, don't--she's on me.
- A jonesy sandwich. - I don't want her on me!
74
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:06,784
- And I don't want to be hugged,
like, everybody, ok?
75
00:03:06,785 --> 00:03:08,118
Just calm down.
- Ok. We're all adults.
76
00:03:13,892 --> 00:03:16,227
- Bang!
- Jeez! God!
77
00:03:16,228 --> 00:03:17,728
- Bang!
- Jim.
78
00:03:17,729 --> 00:03:19,363
- I'm just goin' through it
again in my head.
79
00:03:19,364 --> 00:03:23,468
How do you get 3 shots off
on a man with two guns?
80
00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:26,704
And why do you bring him
delicious, piping hot arby's
81
00:03:26,705 --> 00:03:28,773
Right before you're
gonna blow him away?
82
00:03:28,774 --> 00:03:30,875
How can juan--
don't touch that, trudy!
83
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:32,910
- Jim.
- Put it back.
84
00:03:32,911 --> 00:03:33,978
- The first rule--
85
00:03:33,979 --> 00:03:36,581
- Put it back.
Let's go from the top, ok?
86
00:03:36,582 --> 00:03:40,518
- Don't mind me.
I'm just doing cocaine.
87
00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:41,620
- Hey, rico.
88
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:42,554
- Hey.
89
00:03:45,157 --> 00:03:47,358
- What you doin' with my blow?
- Just snortin' it.
90
00:03:47,359 --> 00:03:49,494
- I went out to get you
a delicious, piping hot
91
00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:51,095
Arby's roast beef sandwich,
92
00:03:51,096 --> 00:03:54,399
And I find out you're
doin' my blow while I'm gone?
93
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,736
- Jim, this makes
your mouth numb.
94
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,338
- Don't do that for real.
From the top.
95
00:04:00,339 --> 00:04:01,573
- Ok.
96
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,341
Places! Ha ha.
97
00:04:03,342 --> 00:04:06,744
Ok. I'm sorry.
98
00:04:06,745 --> 00:04:08,746
- Oh, hey, rico, I'm back.
99
00:04:08,747 --> 00:04:10,682
I'm actin' casual.
I'm bein' cool.
100
00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:12,450
Nothin's up.
Nothin's up at all.
101
00:04:12,451 --> 00:04:14,786
All I did was go get some
delicious, piping hot arby's.
102
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:17,121
I see you're jacking off
in this scenario.
103
00:04:17,122 --> 00:04:24,162
Ok, well, I got a delicious
beef and cheddar for you...
104
00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:27,666
And, boom!
You're goin' downtown.
105
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:30,568
Last time you were short
on the count, motherfucker.
106
00:04:30,569 --> 00:04:32,737
- Monkey roll, monk--
- ok, that's a trajectory.
107
00:04:32,738 --> 00:04:34,038
It's ok, keep goin', keep goin'.
- Ok.
108
00:04:34,039 --> 00:04:36,674
- 1, 2, 3.
109
00:04:36,675 --> 00:04:38,643
And I thought I'd bring you
a little peace offering,
110
00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:40,044
Some delicious arby's.
111
00:04:40,045 --> 00:04:41,546
Go back--no, no, no.
No, no, no.
112
00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:43,180
This never happened.
- Oh.
113
00:04:43,181 --> 00:04:44,915
- This never happened
that we know of.
114
00:04:44,916 --> 00:04:47,518
You go back on ca--
no. Go back.
115
00:04:47,519 --> 00:04:48,453
- You said back.
- Rico.
116
00:04:54,026 --> 00:04:55,527
- Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
117
00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:56,594
Whoa, whoa.
118
00:04:56,595 --> 00:04:58,930
- Great carpeting,
better prices.
119
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:04,435
- ââ¢Âª and the installation
is free ââ¢Âª - ahh! Ha ha ha ha ha!
120
00:05:04,436 --> 00:05:05,603
- Whoo whoo!
- Yeah.
121
00:05:05,604 --> 00:05:07,538
- Yeah!
- Ha ha. That's me.
122
00:05:07,539 --> 00:05:09,173
- That's him.
- That's me, timothy.
123
00:05:09,174 --> 00:05:10,575
- That's you?
- Yeah.
124
00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,277
That was my commercial.
125
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,946
ââ¢Âª and the installation is free ââ¢Âª
126
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:16,981
- Oh, hell, no!
That was you? - Yeah, mm-hmm.
127
00:05:16,982 --> 00:05:19,150
- Oh, man.
Hey, man, you think, like,
128
00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:20,885
When I get out or something,
we could do something together?
129
00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:24,489
- Why--are you--you--
you in the industry? - Yeah, man!
130
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:28,192
You can't tell I know suge?
Man, that's crazy, man--
131
00:05:28,193 --> 00:05:29,293
- Y'all don't understand!
- I rap, too.
132
00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:31,595
- You do?
- Yeah. I rap!
133
00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:33,397
ââ¢Âª I saw somebody,
I killed him, too ââ¢Âª
134
00:05:33,398 --> 00:05:35,433
ââ¢Âª he tried to run from me,
so then I killed him ââ¢Âª
135
00:05:35,434 --> 00:05:38,036
ââ¢Âª and then he tried to run,
I shot him, killed him ââ¢Âª
136
00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:39,370
ââ¢Âª kill him, run, I shot him ââ¢Âª
137
00:05:39,371 --> 00:05:41,072
ââ¢Âª don't run,
don't run again, punk ââ¢Âª
138
00:05:41,073 --> 00:05:43,241
ââ¢Âª don't run again, punk,
don't run again, punk ââ¢Âª
139
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,445
- That didn't rhyme, man.
140
00:05:47,446 --> 00:05:51,383
ââ¢Âª and the installation is free ââ¢Âª
141
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,485
Ta ta tee tee ta ta...
142
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:56,487
You use your diaphragm.
Ta ta--
143
00:05:56,488 --> 00:05:59,057
- My girlfriend
wore a diaphragm, I still got a baby.
144
00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:08,066
- Hi, rico.
145
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,901
I just got back
with that delicious arby's
146
00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:11,569
You asked me to get.
147
00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:13,104
- Thanks for the arby's, juan.
148
00:06:13,105 --> 00:06:14,271
- I'm clean, man.
149
00:06:14,272 --> 00:06:16,841
- I'm gonna have
to check it out.
150
00:06:16,842 --> 00:06:20,144
- Check all you want.
Ok, check other places.
151
00:06:20,145 --> 00:06:21,645
- This is probably
what he would do.
152
00:06:21,646 --> 00:06:24,048
- Ok, don't--hey, trudy, trudy.
153
00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:26,618
Ok. Ok, we get it.
We get it, ok?
154
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,752
Disfrute, rico.
Disfrute.
155
00:06:28,753 --> 00:06:31,055
- There's over $1,000 here.
156
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:32,923
- Pay attention
for 5 fucking seconds.
157
00:06:32,924 --> 00:06:34,058
That's not important.
So you have--
158
00:06:34,059 --> 00:06:37,428
- [fake spanish]
tengala caya para bullshit!
159
00:06:37,429 --> 00:06:39,597
Fucking maya, oh!
160
00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:41,965
Monkey roll, monkey roll,
monkey roll.
161
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:44,201
Jim, you got to act out
what you thought it was.
162
00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:45,537
- I know.
I agree,
163
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,671
But you didn't do the part
that I asked you to do, ok.
164
00:06:47,672 --> 00:06:49,007
- What part?
- Hey, enjoy.
165
00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:51,009
It's my little gift-a
to you, ok?
166
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,577
You have a nice time.
167
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,546
Eating arby's eating arby's,
eating arby's, eating arby's.
168
00:06:55,547 --> 00:06:57,849
Boom!
- Monkey roll, monkey roll, monkey--
169
00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,550
- Uh, I was gettin' to poison,
not monkey roll.
170
00:06:59,551 --> 00:07:01,552
- Oh.
- Poison.
171
00:07:01,553 --> 00:07:03,354
And now that I've poisoned you,
172
00:07:03,355 --> 00:07:06,791
I'm gonna send a message to
all the other capos and jefes,
173
00:07:06,792 --> 00:07:11,095
And it's gonna
go like this--bam, bam,
174
00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:13,898
Shoot the man
who's already dead.
175
00:07:13,899 --> 00:07:15,399
That's it.
176
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,768
[whispering] hey, travis.
F.B.I.
177
00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:20,137
- F.B.I.?
- Yes, I can hold.
178
00:07:20,138 --> 00:07:21,606
I'm on hold with the f.B.I.
We got it.
179
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,740
We cracked it.
180
00:07:22,741 --> 00:07:23,975
- You cracked it?
You figured it out?
181
00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:25,676
- Yeah.
Already dead.
182
00:07:25,677 --> 00:07:27,144
- Already dead?
- Poisoned.
183
00:07:27,145 --> 00:07:28,712
- Why'd they shoot him 3 times?
184
00:07:28,713 --> 00:07:30,048
- Message to the other jefes.
185
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:32,216
- Ah, that makes sense.
186
00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:33,751
- Message.
That's to send a message.
187
00:07:33,752 --> 00:07:35,787
Hey, hey, hey.
188
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:36,721
- Yeah?
189
00:07:38,390 --> 00:07:39,723
- What are you doin'?
190
00:07:39,724 --> 00:07:42,026
- It's evidence.
- No, remember?
191
00:07:42,027 --> 00:07:44,762
Before I put the tape up,
I got arby's.
192
00:07:44,763 --> 00:07:46,497
You said you were gonna come in,
I should leave you
193
00:07:46,498 --> 00:07:47,932
Some delicious arby's
on the table
194
00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:49,834
Cause you wanted
some arby's, too.
195
00:07:49,835 --> 00:07:52,003
It's cold, though.
You guys have been in here for like 7 hours.
196
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:54,038
- Shit. I hope they don't
have caller I.D.
197
00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:58,642
[sigh] the f.B.I. Probably has
caller I.D., right?
198
00:07:58,643 --> 00:07:59,843
[cell phone rings]
- I would think.
199
00:07:59,844 --> 00:08:01,513
- They're callin' back.
Great.
200
00:08:07,986 --> 00:08:09,920
- Yeah, let's sing that again.
201
00:08:09,921 --> 00:08:13,390
- [with commercial]
ââ¢Âª and the installation is free ââ¢Âª
202
00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:15,593
- You're fucking
butchering it, all right?
203
00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:17,695
You are butchering my shit.
204
00:08:17,696 --> 00:08:18,896
- Did pretty good, man.
- Thank you.
205
00:08:18,897 --> 00:08:20,264
- No, don't give him
none of that!
206
00:08:20,265 --> 00:08:22,033
No gap, all right?
207
00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:24,268
You're fucking
butchering my song.
208
00:08:24,269 --> 00:08:25,503
- Butcherin' it?
209
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:27,539
So you tryin' to pin
somethin' else on me!
210
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:30,474
ââ¢Âª timothy, you don't want
to see me kill you, do you ? ââ¢Âª
211
00:08:30,475 --> 00:08:32,042
ââ¢Âª because it'll be
the last thing you see ââ¢Âª
212
00:08:32,043 --> 00:08:34,745
ââ¢Âª when you close your eyes
and you see timothy ââ¢Âª
213
00:08:34,746 --> 00:08:37,181
ââ¢Âª creepin' in your bedroom,
shoot you in your face ââ¢Âª
214
00:08:37,182 --> 00:08:38,949
ââ¢Âª right in the face,
no other place ââ¢Âª
215
00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:40,552
ââ¢Âª can't be erased,
can't be replaced ââ¢Âª
216
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:43,688
ââ¢Âª it's just me, timothy,
shoot, shoot, kill, kill ââ¢Âª
217
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,890
ââ¢Âª I kill the cops all the time
and everybody... ââ¢Âª
218
00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:50,061
What--
219
00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:52,630
- What you do?
You do what?
220
00:08:52,631 --> 00:08:56,167
[siren]
221
00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,837
[siren, gunshot]
222
00:08:59,838 --> 00:09:02,507
[commercial on radio]
- ho! Ho, ho, ho!
223
00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:05,276
Here it comes.
- Good carpeting, better prices.
224
00:09:05,277 --> 00:09:10,814
- ââ¢Âª and the installation
is free ââ¢Âª - wow! That is awesome.
225
00:09:10,815 --> 00:09:12,015
- I know.
- That is so good.
226
00:09:12,016 --> 00:09:13,618
- I'm blessed.
227
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,819
- So the deal is like everybody,
they're gettin' calls sayin',
228
00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:17,621
"hey, we love that voice.
229
00:09:17,622 --> 00:09:19,923
It's so beautiful, you gotta
make a tv commercial."
230
00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:22,627
That's what they're sayin'?
- That's what--apparently, yeah.
231
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,161
- That's so cool.
232
00:09:24,162 --> 00:09:25,763
- You want one of these?
[dispatcher on radio]
233
00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:27,865
- No, I'm all right.
234
00:09:27,866 --> 00:09:29,433
- Uh...
235
00:09:29,434 --> 00:09:32,103
- Oh, yeah, cool.
Thanks, man.
236
00:09:32,104 --> 00:09:33,270
From the high sierra carpet man.
237
00:09:33,271 --> 00:09:34,571
Cool. I'm just gonna save it
238
00:09:34,572 --> 00:09:36,840
And tell people when they ask,
"where'd you get that?"
239
00:09:36,841 --> 00:09:38,843
"oh, my homey does
high sierra carpet's..."
240
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:40,277
- Well, I mean,
you can chew it now.
241
00:09:40,278 --> 00:09:42,213
You don't--I mean...
- But I want to save it.
242
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,914
- You know the high sierra
carpeting man,
243
00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:45,382
So go ahead and you can chew it.
244
00:09:45,383 --> 00:09:46,450
- Well, what if I run into
somebody and then I'm like, "oh,"
245
00:09:46,451 --> 00:09:48,286
And it leads to a good,
casual conversation.
246
00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,921
They're like, "mmm, hey, jim,
where'd you get that gum?"
247
00:09:50,922 --> 00:09:52,624
"oh, you know, I was
hangin' out with my homey.
248
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:53,757
You probably know him.
249
00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:55,192
He does the high sierra
carpet commercials.
250
00:09:55,193 --> 00:09:56,427
He sings
and the installation's free,"
251
00:09:56,428 --> 00:09:57,528
And then they'll freak out.
It'll be cool.
252
00:09:57,529 --> 00:09:59,664
- I mean, I have more.
You can do it now.
253
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:00,664
- Well, can I have some to have
254
00:10:00,665 --> 00:10:02,600
And then some to talk
about you later?
255
00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:03,835
- Yeah.
- Cool.
256
00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:04,935
- So you can have it now?
257
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:08,005
- I'm gonna save 'em both.
258
00:10:08,006 --> 00:10:10,474
- All right.
- Sheriff's department!
259
00:10:10,475 --> 00:10:13,077
- We are responding
to a 911 call.
260
00:10:13,078 --> 00:10:14,578
Shots have been fired.
261
00:10:14,579 --> 00:10:15,879
- Sheriff's department!
262
00:10:17,115 --> 00:10:18,850
Well, hell.
[shots]
263
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,185
- What [indistinct]?
264
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:23,721
[spits]
- ho.
265
00:10:23,722 --> 00:10:24,722
- Dutch boy.
266
00:10:27,192 --> 00:10:29,326
- Thank you
for coming, officers!
267
00:10:29,327 --> 00:10:30,327
[paintball gun firing]
- oh, shit!
268
00:10:30,328 --> 00:10:31,462
Ow!
- Damn it!
269
00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:35,233
- [shouting and shooting]
270
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,201
- Holy shit!
271
00:10:37,202 --> 00:10:40,905
That stung like a--
spotter 2-in-one compact.
272
00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:44,475
- 2-in-one 68 caliber,
semi-automatic.
273
00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:46,910
The thing'll fire
about 200 shots a second.
274
00:10:46,911 --> 00:10:48,546
- No mercy!
275
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:49,747
- Let's go.
276
00:10:49,748 --> 00:10:51,182
Let's go.
Come on, now.
277
00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:52,316
Come on!
278
00:10:52,317 --> 00:10:55,252
- When you fuck with me,
you fuck with my family!
279
00:10:55,253 --> 00:10:58,288
So fuck you!
- Holy shit.
280
00:10:58,289 --> 00:11:01,225
- [men shouting war cry]
- all right, we're gonna give you just one last chance.
281
00:11:01,226 --> 00:11:02,927
Lay down your weapons--
[paintballs firing]
282
00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:05,029
- Shit! God damn it!
283
00:11:05,030 --> 00:11:07,031
- [men shouting,
[garcia and junior screaming]
284
00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:12,136
[multiple war cries]
285
00:11:16,407 --> 00:11:18,775
- 911, the police need help!
286
00:11:18,776 --> 00:11:21,178
The police need help.
Come on, 911.
287
00:11:21,179 --> 00:11:23,113
- [junior screaming]
288
00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:26,650
Holy shit!
289
00:11:26,651 --> 00:11:28,619
- Thank you.
Thank you for coming.
290
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:31,422
Thank you for responding.
[war cries]
291
00:11:31,423 --> 00:11:32,924
- Attack! Attack!
292
00:11:32,925 --> 00:11:34,859
[all shouting at once]
293
00:11:37,328 --> 00:11:38,729
- Aah!
294
00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,298
Where you goin?!
295
00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:43,901
Aah! Aah! Aah!
296
00:11:43,902 --> 00:11:46,204
- Bye. Bye.
297
00:11:51,376 --> 00:11:52,643
[siren]
298
00:11:52,644 --> 00:11:54,144
[dispatcher drones on radio]
299
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:57,381
- I've got you.
300
00:11:58,817 --> 00:12:00,718
Oh, damn!
301
00:12:00,719 --> 00:12:02,553
Get him, get him, get him.
302
00:12:02,554 --> 00:12:03,353
- Go, go, go, go, go.
303
00:12:06,091 --> 00:12:08,425
- Ok, hold it, hold it, hold it.
It's a dead end.
304
00:12:08,426 --> 00:12:10,761
We'll both lower our voices.
305
00:12:10,762 --> 00:12:13,264
Lower your voice and say--
and say, [deep voice]
306
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:15,433
"go ahead, make my day."
307
00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:17,602
Then, boom--kick the door in.
- That's tacky. I'm not saying that.
308
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:19,470
I'm not saying that.
- What you mean you're not sayin' it?
309
00:12:19,471 --> 00:12:21,339
- Say something original. Say,
310
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:23,407
"you're goin' down, syndrome!"
311
00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:25,442
Pssshew! Hitch kick.
312
00:12:25,443 --> 00:12:26,510
- No, no, no.
313
00:12:26,511 --> 00:12:28,145
Ooh, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok.
314
00:12:28,146 --> 00:12:30,915
"mama's gonna
teach you a lesson."
315
00:12:32,517 --> 00:12:34,151
- It's long, but I like
to call myself mama,
316
00:12:34,152 --> 00:12:35,185
So let's do that one.
317
00:12:35,186 --> 00:12:36,187
That's fine. Ok.
318
00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,488
- 1, 2, 3.
319
00:12:38,489 --> 00:12:42,526
- Mama's gonna
teach you a lesson!
320
00:12:42,527 --> 00:12:44,227
- I'm gonna teach you something!
321
00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:46,764
I'm mama!
322
00:12:47,866 --> 00:12:48,933
- What the hell?!
323
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:52,937
[banging on gate]
it's locked.
324
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,538
- Joe, are you out there?
325
00:12:54,539 --> 00:12:55,472
Joe?
326
00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,445
- We take you now live to
the reno sheriff's department.
327
00:13:04,082 --> 00:13:06,017
- My butt itches.
[siren wailing]
328
00:13:07,719 --> 00:13:09,520
- Reoww, reoww,
reoww, reoww, reoww...
329
00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:16,894
Both: Reoww, reoww, reoww,
reoww, reoww, reoww, reoww,
330
00:13:16,895 --> 00:13:20,130
Ooo-wee-ooo-wee-
ooo-wee-ooo-wee.
331
00:13:20,131 --> 00:13:22,867
- Rrrr-rrrr-rrrr...
332
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,235
- You're real good
at sound effects.
333
00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:27,872
- Rrrr-rrrr-rrrr.
334
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:29,807
Both: Woooooooooo-wooooooooooo
wooooooooo...
335
00:13:36,648 --> 00:13:38,916
- [emphatic whisper]
psst! Hey.
336
00:13:38,917 --> 00:13:40,351
Hey, you're on the air.
337
00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:41,652
- Woooooooooo...
338
00:13:41,653 --> 00:13:43,987
- You're on the air!
339
00:13:43,988 --> 00:13:44,922
- What'd you do?
340
00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:50,661
- Oh, I don't--
good--good afternoon.
341
00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:51,862
I don't know which one
to talk into.
342
00:13:52,997 --> 00:13:56,300
[siren]
343
00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:01,505
[siren, gunshot]
344
00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:04,008
- How you doin' today, sir?
- I'm all right.
345
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,876
- You know why
I pulled you over? - No.
346
00:14:05,877 --> 00:14:07,445
- You was driving all over
the road back there
347
00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:08,946
Like some kind of
goddamn maniac.
348
00:14:08,947 --> 00:14:10,080
- Bullshit.
349
00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:11,681
- Bull--you step out
the vehicle, sir. - Huh?
350
00:14:11,682 --> 00:14:13,584
- Step out the vehicle.
- All right. Hang on.
351
00:14:15,787 --> 00:14:16,754
- Missed me.
352
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:29,366
- "you are cordially invited
to the world premiere
353
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:32,536
"of the new high sierra
carpeting commercial
354
00:14:32,537 --> 00:14:35,739
Featuring your pal jones.E."
355
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,075
And he signed it jones.E.
356
00:14:38,076 --> 00:14:41,445
- Oh, goin' with
the middle initial now. - That's classy.
357
00:14:41,446 --> 00:14:43,380
[laughter, cheers, applause]
358
00:14:47,485 --> 00:14:48,552
- Can I get your autograph?
359
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:49,620
- Oh, I don't know.
360
00:14:49,621 --> 00:14:51,221
I don't know about that. Maybe.
361
00:14:51,222 --> 00:14:55,693
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here
362
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:59,430
To witness a star being born.
363
00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:04,034
A star who will shine for many,
many, many, many, many leagues.
364
00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:06,604
And this moment
is almost as big as I am,
365
00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:09,640
And I have some important people
that I want to thank.
366
00:15:09,641 --> 00:15:11,074
[all cheer]
367
00:15:11,075 --> 00:15:12,742
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
368
00:15:12,743 --> 00:15:15,746
- First and foremost, you, kiki.
369
00:15:15,747 --> 00:15:20,217
The woman I met 3 days ago on--
370
00:15:20,218 --> 00:15:24,588
It was a boat of love,
a, uh...
371
00:15:24,589 --> 00:15:29,626
A cornucopia of...Doin' it.
372
00:15:29,627 --> 00:15:33,164
And I am so glad
that you are in my life.
373
00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:41,639
ââ¢Âª I love you ââ¢Âª
ha ha ha.
374
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,606
I love this bitch.
375
00:15:42,607 --> 00:15:46,476
And so let's make a toast to me.
376
00:15:46,477 --> 00:15:48,079
- Jonesy!
377
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,747
- Look, everyone!
It's on!
378
00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:52,015
- Oh! Oh!
379
00:15:52,016 --> 00:15:54,918
- It's gotta be
high sierra carpeting.
380
00:15:54,919 --> 00:15:56,787
Right off I-80 at exit 57...
381
00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:59,156
- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Here comes me! Here I come.
382
00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:00,725
- Better carpeting,
better prices.
383
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:06,464
ââ¢Âª and the installation is free ââ¢Âª
384
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:12,203
- Where were you in it?
385
00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,638
- Maybe that's
the second version of it.
386
00:16:14,639 --> 00:16:15,573
I--
387
00:16:18,042 --> 00:16:19,843
Baby? Kiki!
388
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:22,079
Baby girl, come here!
389
00:16:27,318 --> 00:16:29,019
That turtle didn't even
look like me!
390
00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:30,687
- Sounded good, though.
391
00:16:30,688 --> 00:16:33,657
- Hey! Jones!
Yeah!
392
00:16:35,193 --> 00:16:37,361
Saw the commercial.
Hey, what happened, dude?
393
00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:39,430
7-hour shoot, and a turtle.
394
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:42,866
You went with that?
395
00:16:42,867 --> 00:16:43,900
Well, what happened to me?
396
00:16:48,406 --> 00:16:50,608
Camera ready. Ok.
397
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:53,877
Um, what happened--
I've only gotten one payment.
398
00:16:53,878 --> 00:16:55,645
$200.
What happened--
399
00:16:55,646 --> 00:16:58,048
I haven't even gotten
all my checks, so...
400
00:17:00,851 --> 00:17:01,785
One time.
401
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:06,857
Ok. [beep]
402
00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:13,197
- That's all?
That's it?
403
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,131
- That's it.
404
00:17:21,739 --> 00:17:24,375
- Oh, shit.
Hey, did he pay for all this cristal?
405
00:17:27,612 --> 00:17:29,947
- Emergency!
Emergency!
406
00:17:29,948 --> 00:17:32,315
- Sir, there's just been
a 911 call in the vicinity.
407
00:17:32,316 --> 00:17:34,985
We'll be right back
to pay that bill.
408
00:17:34,986 --> 00:17:37,121
Sheriff's department!
409
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:39,956
[siren]
410
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:44,461
[siren, gunshot]
411
00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:45,896
- You've got insurance
and everything
412
00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:47,064
From places like this?
413
00:17:47,065 --> 00:17:49,133
Yeah. All right.
414
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:50,634
He's breathing, though, right?
415
00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:51,635
- Yeah, he's alive.
416
00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:56,840
- So what exactly
did you do to that poor boy?
417
00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:15,458
About how much does that run?
418
00:18:15,459 --> 00:18:18,662
Oh. All right.
419
00:18:18,663 --> 00:18:21,465
Uh, dangle, we need
to wrap this up,
420
00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:23,533
And I probably need
to get to a cash machine.
421
00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:31,408
- Oh, wait a minute.
Here we go.
422
00:18:31,409 --> 00:18:33,343
Here we go.
Lordy, lordy.
423
00:18:34,545 --> 00:18:35,479
Ok.
424
00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:39,816
Well, ollie, ollie,
all come free, huh?
425
00:18:41,652 --> 00:18:42,986
Hey.
- What?!
426
00:18:42,987 --> 00:18:47,724
- I'm glad you're safe, ok?
Ok?
427
00:18:47,725 --> 00:18:51,728
- [crying]
- hard night, I know. Your girlfriend left you--
428
00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:53,830
- [crying] I'm ruined!
- No, you're not ruined.
429
00:18:53,831 --> 00:18:56,433
- James, I'm ruined!
Everyone hates me!
430
00:18:56,434 --> 00:18:59,770
- Nobody hates you, ok?
We all love you.
431
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:04,240
- They all hate me!
Trudy threw a bottle at me.
432
00:19:04,241 --> 00:19:06,143
- I know.
Well, don't worry about trudy.
433
00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:07,811
She doesn't matter anyways, ok?
434
00:19:07,812 --> 00:19:13,817
- I'm a turtle now!
I am useless!
435
00:19:13,818 --> 00:19:14,984
- Well, that's you!
436
00:19:14,985 --> 00:19:17,120
- No, it's not!
I'm not a turtle!
437
00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:19,823
That shit
doesn't look like me.
438
00:19:19,824 --> 00:19:21,124
- You brought that.
439
00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:25,929
- You know what it means
to love something--somebody?
440
00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:28,231
Kiki!
441
00:19:28,232 --> 00:19:29,667
- Kiki was a whore.
442
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:33,670
- Have you ever fucked somebody
for 3 days in a van?
443
00:19:33,671 --> 00:19:35,672
Huh?! Have you?!
444
00:19:35,673 --> 00:19:39,043
What happens to a man
when his dream is deferred?
445
00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:41,978
- Your dream's right there.
446
00:19:41,979 --> 00:19:43,480
- No, it's [bleep]!
447
00:19:43,481 --> 00:19:45,882
That fucking turtle,
I'm gonna fuck you up!
448
00:19:45,883 --> 00:19:46,816
Aah!
449
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,089
It didn't fuckin' break!
[crying]
450
00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,157
- Let me tell you something.
451
00:19:54,158 --> 00:19:56,359
In my book, you made it.
452
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,195
You're like the astronauts
that went to the moon.
453
00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:00,530
Maybe you didn't get out
like neil armstrong,
454
00:20:00,531 --> 00:20:02,265
But you made it
to the moon, my friend.
455
00:20:02,266 --> 00:20:05,802
How many people get
to dance with the stars? Huh?
456
00:20:05,803 --> 00:20:07,771
You got to dance with the stars.
457
00:20:10,141 --> 00:20:12,642
Tell ya, I don't know
what I would've done
458
00:20:12,643 --> 00:20:14,044
If I would've
lost you to hollywood.
459
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:19,883
I mean, I'm happy for
the success you might've had,
460
00:20:19,884 --> 00:20:23,420
But I would've lost
a good friend, and a partner,
461
00:20:23,421 --> 00:20:26,857
And, dare I say,
somebody I think of as
462
00:20:26,858 --> 00:20:28,559
Maybe a brother of mine.
463
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,528
A brother I never had.
464
00:20:31,529 --> 00:20:34,431
And if there's any
good news to this,
465
00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:38,168
I guess it's that we could still
continue to be partners.
466
00:20:43,341 --> 00:20:45,175
- I wanna go to a strip club.
467
00:20:45,176 --> 00:20:46,242
- You wanna go to a strip club?
468
00:20:46,243 --> 00:20:49,346
- Y-y-yes.
469
00:20:49,347 --> 00:20:52,349
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks
470
00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:55,352
Captioned by the national
captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--
471
00:20:55,353 --> 00:20:57,054
- Oh. Hey.
How you doin'?
472
00:20:57,055 --> 00:21:01,058
Boy, I sure learned
a lot this week.
473
00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:03,460
A lot about friendship
474
00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:07,631
And keeping your feet
on the ground. Ha ha.
475
00:21:07,632 --> 00:21:10,767
If you'd like to learn
a little bit more about voiceover work
476
00:21:10,768 --> 00:21:12,969
And/or law enforcement,
477
00:21:12,970 --> 00:21:15,406
Why don't you check out
your local library?
478
00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:17,007
I'm sure they'll be
able to help you out.
479
00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:20,143
[chuckles]
480
00:21:20,193 --> 00:21:24,743
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