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1
00:00:04,336 --> 00:00:05,403
So, we're still trying
2
00:00:05,504 --> 00:00:07,806
To work out the bugs
of this bomb-dog camera.
3
00:00:07,906 --> 00:00:11,109
What they do is they give you
a real good shot
4
00:00:11,210 --> 00:00:13,711
And an image of the bomb.
5
00:00:13,812 --> 00:00:16,381
Testing-- 1, 2...
Testing.
6
00:00:16,482 --> 00:00:20,118
Go, go...Go
try it out, boy.
7
00:00:20,219 --> 00:00:23,154
Transmission's good...
8
00:00:23,255 --> 00:00:25,490
( dog panting )
9
00:00:25,591 --> 00:00:28,793
Hello...
Hello, champagne.
10
00:00:28,894 --> 00:00:31,829
Happy new year to you.
11
00:00:31,930 --> 00:00:33,164
Hi, buddy.
12
00:00:33,265 --> 00:00:34,399
Oh, man.
13
00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:36,067
Hey...
Come on now.
14
00:00:36,168 --> 00:00:37,668
Get on out of there,
come on.
15
00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:39,004
Hey, get on out.
16
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,106
Hey, hey, shoo.
17
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,441
Whoo !
Come here !
18
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:45,243
( tires screeching )
19
00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:49,981
Oh... Ah !
20
00:00:51,717 --> 00:00:53,985
Whoa !
21
00:00:56,956 --> 00:00:59,124
( growling )
22
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:08,533
( sirens blaring )
23
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:22,146
( siren wailing )
24
00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:26,785
Good morning, gang.
25
00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:28,119
Hey...
Good morning.
26
00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:30,321
I was checking
the web-browser history
27
00:01:30,422 --> 00:01:32,824
On all the
computers in here.
28
00:01:32,925 --> 00:01:34,459
You can do that ?
29
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,561
Yeah, I was checking all
the browser histories
30
00:01:36,662 --> 00:01:37,962
On all the computers
in the station
31
00:01:38,064 --> 00:01:40,931
Which say
"for official use only"
32
00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:43,167
And here's a couple
of the recent sites
33
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:46,437
People have been visiting for
official business, I guess--
34
00:01:46,538 --> 00:01:49,173
Superbootyshots.Com
35
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,976
Picturesofmycats.Com
36
00:01:52,077 --> 00:01:54,612
Hugenaturalboobs.Com
37
00:01:54,713 --> 00:01:57,482
Herpesonlinecompanion.Com
38
00:01:57,583 --> 00:01:59,650
Drnastysnatch.Com
39
00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:01,419
Chickswithdicks.Org
40
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,755
Sweatersforkittens/store
41
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:05,222
Catastics.Com
42
00:02:05,324 --> 00:02:06,524
Catastrophe.Com
43
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,459
And chocolatebooty.Org
44
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,229
All those were in the recent
web-browser history--
45
00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:14,966
For official business only.
46
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:17,736
I'm just gonna volunteer
to help you figure out--
47
00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:18,870
There's nothing
to figure out.
48
00:02:18,971 --> 00:02:20,905
To help you figure out
who did it.
49
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:23,741
Okay, we don't need
to call scotland yard
50
00:02:23,842 --> 00:02:26,177
To figure who
was looking at...
51
00:02:26,278 --> 00:02:29,347
Drnastysnatch.Com.
52
00:02:29,448 --> 00:02:31,716
I was doing some research
for my doctor.
53
00:02:31,817 --> 00:02:34,285
She said, "do things look
different or strange ?"
54
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,154
And I had nothing
to compare it to,
55
00:02:36,255 --> 00:02:39,591
But the cat thing
was not mine.
56
00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:45,763
Sheriff's department !
57
00:02:45,864 --> 00:02:48,900
Honey, are you okay ?
58
00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:50,468
What's the matter ?
59
00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:52,136
Are you okay ?
60
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,939
( sobbing uncontrollably )
61
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,441
It's gonna be okay.
62
00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:57,575
Just breathe.
63
00:02:57,676 --> 00:02:59,877
Take a deep breath.
64
00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:01,479
Deep breath, honey.
65
00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:02,813
Have you been taking
any drugs today ?
66
00:03:02,914 --> 00:03:05,884
Let me see your arms--
hold out your arms.
67
00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:08,152
Let me see your arms.
Okay, you're good.
68
00:03:08,253 --> 00:03:09,220
Do you want a hug ?
69
00:03:09,321 --> 00:03:11,089
( shrieks )
70
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:12,790
You don't want
a hug, okay.
71
00:03:12,891 --> 00:03:14,091
I feel like
I'm gonna faint now,
72
00:03:14,192 --> 00:03:15,960
We're not gonna let
anything happen to you.
73
00:03:16,061 --> 00:03:20,432
Okay, you have to call--
I'm gonna call an e.M.T.
74
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:24,703
We need an emergency medical
technician on the scene here.
75
00:03:24,803 --> 00:03:27,939
Reno, reno,
this is 3-adam-32.
76
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,975
We've got a hysterical woman
here at the oasis trailer court.
77
00:03:31,076 --> 00:03:33,645
Okay, someone's
on their way.
78
00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:36,347
( both sobbing )
79
00:03:39,151 --> 00:03:41,219
What happened to you ?
80
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,054
Dangle ?
81
00:03:43,155 --> 00:03:45,222
Dangle ?
82
00:03:45,323 --> 00:03:46,724
Oh, no !
83
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:48,193
Dangle ?
84
00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:50,628
Do you want me to get
your graham crackers ?
85
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,896
Want your graham crackers ?
86
00:03:51,997 --> 00:03:54,599
Someone's gonna come and
give us some nice sedatives.
87
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,434
Get in.
88
00:03:56,535 --> 00:03:58,169
All right.
89
00:03:58,270 --> 00:03:59,771
Are you okay ?
Yeah, I'm fine.
90
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:02,507
I don't know what the fuck
she was talking about.
91
00:04:02,608 --> 00:04:05,343
I could have sworn I heard
her say "food stamps."
92
00:04:05,444 --> 00:04:08,513
Somehow you just got to
speak their language, y'know ?
93
00:04:08,614 --> 00:04:10,448
Get 'em in
the fucking car.
94
00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:12,983
She's going to jail.
95
00:04:13,084 --> 00:04:17,154
I don't know what she did,
but she's going to jail.
96
00:04:23,195 --> 00:04:24,295
Test-- 1, 2.
97
00:04:24,396 --> 00:04:26,397
Test-- still no sign
of one-eyed jack,
98
00:04:26,498 --> 00:04:29,033
And I'm fucking hot.
99
00:04:29,134 --> 00:04:30,968
( coughing )
100
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:33,037
How much fucking car exhaust
do we have to inhale
101
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,238
Before this goddamn
drug dealer
102
00:04:34,339 --> 00:04:38,209
Wakes his ass up
and starts dealing ?
103
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,745
Let's go home.
104
00:04:40,846 --> 00:04:43,347
I don't know...
105
00:04:43,448 --> 00:04:45,550
Fuck it, let's go.
106
00:04:45,651 --> 00:04:46,784
We can go ?
107
00:04:46,885 --> 00:04:49,120
Yeah, get your stuff.
Let's get out of here.
108
00:04:49,221 --> 00:04:50,655
Hey, man, do you
have some smoke ?
109
00:04:50,756 --> 00:04:52,356
Oh, hey, ladies.
110
00:04:52,457 --> 00:04:53,858
You guys smoke
or anything ?
111
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,693
( jamaican accent )
you got smokes ?
112
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,396
You want
a smoke, huh ? Yeah.
113
00:04:58,497 --> 00:05:00,030
Groovy dreads.
114
00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:03,067
Thanks, thank you.
115
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:04,736
Your hair is wild.
116
00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:07,171
Yeah, well,
it's, um-- yeah.
117
00:05:07,272 --> 00:05:10,308
That accent is trippy, man.
Where you from ?
118
00:05:10,409 --> 00:05:14,479
Well, I'm from
jamaica, kingston.
119
00:05:14,579 --> 00:05:16,014
Jamaica, mon.
120
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,215
I'm from utah.
121
00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:18,516
Wow, really ?
122
00:05:18,617 --> 00:05:20,217
It's really
hot there, right ?
123
00:05:20,318 --> 00:05:24,188
No, it's about
a mile up,
124
00:05:24,289 --> 00:05:27,258
So it never really
gets above 75.
125
00:05:27,359 --> 00:05:29,127
Wow.
126
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,967
Okay, did anybody else
in here see what happened ?
127
00:05:37,069 --> 00:05:39,303
There's a girl
in the bathroom.
128
00:05:39,404 --> 00:05:42,339
The next time something
like this happen--
129
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,708
And there will be
a next time--
130
00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:48,145
Before you call me,
ask yourself, huh,
131
00:05:48,246 --> 00:05:49,947
"I'm dressed like a trick,
132
00:05:50,048 --> 00:05:53,418
"I'm in a filthy,
disgusting rat hole--
133
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,654
What do I expect
to happen ?"
134
00:05:56,755 --> 00:05:58,790
Huh ?
135
00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:02,926
Whoa ! Ho !
136
00:06:03,028 --> 00:06:05,296
Just shut up.
137
00:06:05,397 --> 00:06:07,231
Whoa.
138
00:06:07,332 --> 00:06:08,632
Okay, okay, okay.
139
00:06:08,734 --> 00:06:10,468
( laughing )
140
00:06:10,569 --> 00:06:12,303
Surprise. You found out
my secret, okay ?
141
00:06:12,404 --> 00:06:13,738
Are you happy ?
Are you happy ?
142
00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:16,107
Yes, I work in
a rat fuck, all right ?
143
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:18,409
But I need the money.
144
00:06:18,510 --> 00:06:21,045
So go blab it all over
the whole fucking station.
145
00:06:21,146 --> 00:06:22,547
I don't care.
146
00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,349
Why you automatically assume
raineesha gonna say something ?
147
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,350
Because you always
say something.
148
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:28,952
Okay, that's true,
but I'm telling you--
149
00:06:29,054 --> 00:06:31,389
I'm giving you my word
that I'm not.
150
00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:34,259
Do you remember when you saw me
coming out of la clÃÂnica,
151
00:06:34,359 --> 00:06:36,226
And you didn't
tell nobody ?
152
00:06:36,327 --> 00:06:37,929
Okay.
153
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,997
How much you make ?
154
00:06:40,098 --> 00:06:43,901
I'll walk with about $300
a night, you know,
155
00:06:44,002 --> 00:06:47,105
$500 if there's
a convention.
156
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:51,042
Yi-yi-yi-yi !
Yi-yi-yi-yi ! Señorita !
157
00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:06,290
ââ¢Âª I don't know... ââ¢Âª
158
00:07:08,393 --> 00:07:11,161
Asshole.
Pig.
159
00:07:15,266 --> 00:07:16,000
ââ¢Âª ba-ba ba-ba ââ¢Âª
160
00:07:16,101 --> 00:07:17,969
ââ¢Âª ba-ba-ba ââ¢Âª
161
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:21,105
ââ¢Âª doo-doo-doo-doo
doo-doo ââ¢Âª
162
00:07:21,206 --> 00:07:24,241
ââ¢Âª rickety-tickety-doo
doo doo doo doo ââ¢Âª
163
00:07:24,342 --> 00:07:27,679
ââ¢Âª rickety-tickety-doo
ba boo boo doo doo ââ¢Âª
164
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:30,915
( together )
ââ¢Âª rickety-tickety-doo ba boo doo doo ââ¢Âª
165
00:07:31,016 --> 00:07:33,951
ââ¢Âª rickety-tickety-doo
doo doo doo doo ââ¢Âª
166
00:07:34,052 --> 00:07:37,055
ââ¢Âª rickety-tickety-doo
doo doo doo ahh ââ¢Âª
167
00:07:37,155 --> 00:07:40,124
ââ¢Âª rickety-tickety-doo
doo doo doo ahh ââ¢Âª
168
00:07:40,225 --> 00:07:43,327
ââ¢Âª rickety-tickety-doo
doo doo doo chsss ââ¢Âª
169
00:07:43,428 --> 00:07:46,497
ââ¢Âª rickety-tickety-doo
doo doo doo zwww ââ¢Âª
170
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:49,467
ââ¢Âª rickety-tickety-doo
doo doo doo pow ââ¢Âª
171
00:07:49,568 --> 00:07:53,638
ââ¢Âª rickety-tickety-doo
doo doo doo bowwww ââ¢Âª
172
00:07:55,274 --> 00:07:58,676
How much time
did that kill ?
173
00:07:58,777 --> 00:08:00,111
About an hour.
174
00:08:00,212 --> 00:08:01,879
( siren )
175
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,085
Oh, no.
Man.
176
00:08:08,186 --> 00:08:10,755
Hey, hey, can we
talk to him for a second ?
177
00:08:10,856 --> 00:08:14,658
How you doing
tonight, keith ? Not too good.
178
00:08:14,759 --> 00:08:16,360
Oh, man, they got
you good, huh ?
179
00:08:16,461 --> 00:08:17,962
Yeah.
Oh, jeez.
180
00:08:18,063 --> 00:08:20,130
Was it the same guys
from last time ?
181
00:08:20,231 --> 00:08:21,399
No, it was
a different group.
182
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:22,833
Different group,
all right.
183
00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:24,769
One had a gun, and the
other one had the bat.
184
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:26,036
Two fellas.
185
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:28,172
And there was a third that
wasn't carrying anything.
186
00:08:28,273 --> 00:08:29,373
Three fellows.
187
00:08:29,474 --> 00:08:32,710
And so, they hit you
with the bat, or...
188
00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:35,246
Oh, they never--
I'm gonna--
189
00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:38,449
( muttering )
they put a hot dog up my butt...
190
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:40,551
They put a
hot dog where ?
191
00:08:40,652 --> 00:08:42,153
Up my butt.
192
00:08:42,253 --> 00:08:44,055
They put a hot dog...
193
00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:46,290
Was it hot at the time,
or was it not cooked yet ?
194
00:08:46,391 --> 00:08:47,392
It was hot.
195
00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:49,827
Did the hot dog
have anything on it ?
196
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:51,095
Was it just
a plain hot dog ?
197
00:08:51,196 --> 00:08:52,496
Just hot-dog grease,
198
00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:54,231
'cause it had just
come off the cooker,
199
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:55,733
And it was...
Piping hot.
200
00:08:55,834 --> 00:08:58,803
They said they really liked me,
and they just wanted me to...
201
00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:00,438
Be a hot-dog cowboy.
Right.
202
00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:02,607
Something about you
behind that counter
203
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,375
Seems to just
set men on fire.
204
00:09:04,476 --> 00:09:05,610
Seems like they just...
205
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:08,879
You're rape bait, keith.
206
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:10,481
Those two guys--
207
00:09:10,582 --> 00:09:12,050
One of them said that.
208
00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:13,217
Called you
rape bait ?
209
00:09:13,318 --> 00:09:15,920
I hate to agree with them,
but I kind of do.
210
00:09:16,021 --> 00:09:17,422
You're doing
something right here.
211
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:19,523
Keith, you get
rape rookies in here.
212
00:09:19,624 --> 00:09:21,225
You know how odd that is ?
You know how rare that is ?
213
00:09:21,326 --> 00:09:23,961
In a weird way, man--
hey, badge of honor.
214
00:09:24,062 --> 00:09:26,664
People who never,
ever raped a clerk
215
00:09:26,765 --> 00:09:29,800
Say, "I'm gonna
break it in on keith."
216
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,302
I got to balance
my register.
217
00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:33,203
I never really worked one
of these things before.
218
00:09:33,305 --> 00:09:34,772
We're going the
wrong way, I think.
219
00:09:34,873 --> 00:09:36,341
Spin him.
220
00:09:36,441 --> 00:09:37,942
Aah !
Sorry, keith.
221
00:09:38,043 --> 00:09:40,644
Aah !
Shit, sorry.
222
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,146
Are we going the
right way or no ?
223
00:09:42,247 --> 00:09:43,847
We got to do
a pooper check on keith.
224
00:09:43,948 --> 00:09:45,483
Do you have
any kind of long tongs ?
225
00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:47,484
Hey, hey !
226
00:09:47,585 --> 00:09:49,153
Shit, shit, shit...
227
00:09:49,254 --> 00:09:50,988
You gonna stay put
or what, buddy ?
228
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,723
Ah, shit.
229
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:54,759
Somebody should
get up inside here.
230
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,394
Keith ?
231
00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:58,896
Oh, jesus.
232
00:09:58,997 --> 00:10:00,631
We're gonna have
to do it here, buddy.
233
00:10:00,732 --> 00:10:02,000
Joe, joe. We're
gonna pull the--
234
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,102
Can you give us
a little bit of privacy ?
235
00:10:04,202 --> 00:10:05,736
Yeah, a little bit of...
236
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:07,872
( blowing )
237
00:10:07,973 --> 00:10:10,241
Here, shine 'em up
real good.
238
00:10:11,643 --> 00:10:15,746
I think it's time
for my homemade brownies.
239
00:10:15,847 --> 00:10:18,082
Aphrodite makes
the best brownies ever.
240
00:10:18,183 --> 00:10:20,985
No, no, no, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
241
00:10:21,086 --> 00:10:22,286
Oh, I'm gonna take a...
242
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:24,755
He ate the whole thing
at once.
243
00:10:24,856 --> 00:10:26,323
( laughing )
244
00:10:26,424 --> 00:10:31,729
If we gave these brownies
out to everybody, right...
245
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:34,665
( laughter )
246
00:10:34,766 --> 00:10:36,400
Pretty good.
Whoo !
247
00:10:36,501 --> 00:10:38,702
( siren )
248
00:10:41,873 --> 00:10:45,108
All right,
well, at this point,
249
00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:48,312
We were supposed to watch
a driver-safety film
250
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:50,381
Entitled
"blood on the highway"
251
00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:53,016
By the department of
transportation safety board,
252
00:10:53,118 --> 00:10:54,718
But you all have been
pretty good,
253
00:10:54,819 --> 00:10:56,654
So I brought in
another film
254
00:10:56,755 --> 00:10:59,523
About highway safety
and law enforcement,
255
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,325
( in falsetto )
a little picture called...
256
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:04,228
ââ¢Âª smokey and the bandit ââ¢Âª
257
00:11:04,329 --> 00:11:05,796
No talking during
smokey and the bandit
258
00:11:05,897 --> 00:11:07,965
If you talk,
that will be one point on your driver's license,
259
00:11:08,066 --> 00:11:10,301
And there will be a test.
260
00:11:13,138 --> 00:11:15,172
Reno, this is
14-david-21.
261
00:11:15,273 --> 00:11:16,840
We are on the scene.
262
00:11:16,941 --> 00:11:17,741
( tires screeching )
263
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,710
Sheriff's department !
264
00:11:21,279 --> 00:11:22,579
You call 911 ?
Yes, I did.
265
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:23,881
What's the problem, sir ?
266
00:11:23,982 --> 00:11:25,616
I think you're gonna be
very pleased with me
267
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:26,784
When I tell you
what it is.
268
00:11:26,885 --> 00:11:28,018
Oh, hello.
269
00:11:28,119 --> 00:11:31,222
I have compiled
a list of 500--
270
00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:34,926
I got 500 cars that have run
the stop sign right here.
271
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:38,462
Don't bother to thank me,
I've got it right here.
272
00:11:38,563 --> 00:11:41,598
You've made
a citizen's arrest
273
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,100
Or just a
citizen's list ?
274
00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:44,468
It's a citizen's list
275
00:11:44,569 --> 00:11:47,505
Which I hope to become
an arrest with your help.
276
00:11:47,606 --> 00:11:50,340
I got some here
that are very interesting.
277
00:11:50,442 --> 00:11:52,476
Most of the plates
are nevada,
278
00:11:52,577 --> 00:11:55,012
Which, I think,
because we're in nevada.
279
00:11:55,113 --> 00:11:56,614
Adds up.
It makes sense.
280
00:11:56,715 --> 00:12:00,584
I got-- we don't
have indiana.
281
00:12:00,685 --> 00:12:02,453
Look at this--
I got here this one--
282
00:12:02,554 --> 00:12:04,689
A black-and-white police car
ran that light.
283
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:09,093
I got the
license here- 83752.
284
00:12:09,194 --> 00:12:10,361
It's rhode island.
285
00:12:10,461 --> 00:12:11,395
Yeah, we're allowed
to do that.
286
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:13,431
That's us.
Oh, that's you ?
287
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:15,600
This is an ambulance
ran the light here.
288
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:17,401
Okay, they get
to do that, too.
289
00:12:17,502 --> 00:12:18,535
They can ?
Oh, yeah.
290
00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:20,738
Anything that goes,
"whoo-whoo-whoo."
291
00:12:20,839 --> 00:12:22,606
Now, let me
ask you this:
292
00:12:22,707 --> 00:12:25,842
If you guys drive your own
cars when you're off duty
293
00:12:25,944 --> 00:12:31,415
And you go through that light,
can you arrest yourself, then ?
294
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:34,485
Oh, hell, I got to
take this, yeah ?
295
00:12:34,586 --> 00:12:37,488
What's it say there
on the invisible radio ?
296
00:12:37,589 --> 00:12:38,989
Uh-huh.
297
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:40,490
We should really get to that,
don't you think ?
298
00:12:40,591 --> 00:12:42,092
Uh-oh, uh-oh !
299
00:12:42,193 --> 00:12:45,129
My wonder woman radio was going
off, so we should probably--
300
00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:46,964
Why don't we
take this ?
301
00:12:47,065 --> 00:12:50,267
And we will put it
in the file.
302
00:12:50,368 --> 00:12:51,569
Oh, okay.
303
00:12:51,669 --> 00:12:55,006
Well, do you need my name
or social security number ?
304
00:12:55,106 --> 00:12:56,307
We know it.
305
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:58,843
Do you have a private extension,
if I call again ?
306
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,411
Yes, we do.
307
00:13:00,512 --> 00:13:03,180
It's 1-800-eat-shit
308
00:13:03,281 --> 00:13:05,449
1-800-8-10.
309
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:06,483
No.
310
00:13:06,584 --> 00:13:08,652
But that's not
enough numbers.
311
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:18,862
Major bummer, jeff.
312
00:13:18,963 --> 00:13:22,199
I didn't study for my
geometry final today.
313
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,301
I'm, like, totally
gonna fail.
314
00:13:24,402 --> 00:13:27,471
Take a chill pill, susie.
315
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:28,839
Watch and learn.
316
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:30,641
( dialing )
317
00:13:30,742 --> 00:13:34,478
9-1-1, I'd like to
report a bomb threat.
318
00:13:34,579 --> 00:13:36,079
( gasps )
319
00:13:36,181 --> 00:13:38,916
Thanks, jeff,
you're da bomb.
320
00:13:39,017 --> 00:13:40,851
Time out, jeff.
321
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:43,453
Stop, drop, and think.
322
00:13:43,555 --> 00:13:46,056
Every fake bomb threat
you call in
323
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:50,427
Keeps us from stopping the
hundreds of... Real bombs
324
00:13:50,528 --> 00:13:54,698
Set to blow up in reno
all the time, every day.
325
00:13:54,799 --> 00:13:57,801
Gee, deputy,
I didn't think of that.
326
00:13:57,902 --> 00:14:00,003
One thing
I've learned...
327
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:04,408
Bomb threats
aren't da bomb.
328
00:14:04,509 --> 00:14:05,776
That's right.
329
00:14:05,877 --> 00:14:09,546
And this is deputy williams
keeping it real--
330
00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:12,183
Real safe.
331
00:14:16,854 --> 00:14:18,889
All right, 28...
332
00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:23,827
What was the bandit's
license-plate number ?
333
00:14:23,928 --> 00:14:25,129
And it ain't "bandit."
334
00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:26,230
A lot of people
get it wrong.
335
00:14:26,331 --> 00:14:27,398
A lot of people think
it's "bandit."
336
00:14:27,498 --> 00:14:29,166
It ain't "bandit."
337
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:31,668
All right,
final question here--
338
00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:37,074
What color were
sally field's shorts ?
339
00:14:40,778 --> 00:14:42,179
Can you make
that noise doing this ?
340
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,081
It takes me a while.
341
00:14:44,182 --> 00:14:45,683
Hold on,
let me pull over.
342
00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:47,851
Oh, we're in
a school zone.
343
00:14:47,952 --> 00:14:49,120
That's okay.
344
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,888
( squeaking )
345
00:14:50,989 --> 00:14:53,891
( sniffing )
346
00:14:53,992 --> 00:14:56,460
It doesn't smell
when you do that.
347
00:14:56,561 --> 00:14:58,195
I know,
that's weird.
348
00:14:58,296 --> 00:15:00,364
Does yours ?
349
00:15:00,465 --> 00:15:02,199
Gosh, you're better-- no.
350
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,935
( chuckling )
no, it doesn't.
351
00:15:05,036 --> 00:15:06,736
Mine smells a little
like cheetos.
352
00:15:06,838 --> 00:15:08,271
Oh...
353
00:15:08,372 --> 00:15:10,107
Yeah, I smell that.
I smell that.
354
00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:12,609
That's 'cause
I just farted.
355
00:15:16,681 --> 00:15:17,981
( loud rock music plays,
young man screaming )
356
00:15:18,082 --> 00:15:20,818
Oh, sweet lord almighty.
357
00:15:22,387 --> 00:15:24,521
Hey, do you think--
do you think this is where...
358
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:25,856
They don't even
notice us.
359
00:15:25,957 --> 00:15:27,057
Hey, ho, ho, ho !
360
00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:29,460
Stinky, stinky, stinky.
361
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,328
Holy tamole !
362
00:15:31,429 --> 00:15:32,996
Guess why we're here.
363
00:15:33,097 --> 00:15:36,000
Uh, we were,
uh, we were--
364
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:39,970
Because you can hear your
crappy band six miles away,
365
00:15:40,071 --> 00:15:42,372
And just constructive
criticism--
366
00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:44,508
You sound awful.
367
00:15:44,609 --> 00:15:47,477
You really,
really sound bad.
368
00:15:47,578 --> 00:15:48,712
Really bad.
369
00:15:48,813 --> 00:15:51,214
My god...
That's real nice.
370
00:15:51,315 --> 00:15:52,349
Is this yours ?
371
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,318
We borrowed that one.
372
00:15:54,419 --> 00:15:56,887
( playing bluesy riff )
373
00:16:00,158 --> 00:16:02,592
Hey, joe, you, uh, you play the
drums a little bit, don't you ?
374
00:16:02,693 --> 00:16:04,194
Yeah, I love
to play drums.
375
00:16:04,295 --> 00:16:07,198
( both playing )
376
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,433
Clemmy, we're going to
need some backup.
377
00:16:12,804 --> 00:16:13,770
Anyway, I'm hoping
378
00:16:13,871 --> 00:16:16,240
That you will break
your celibacy for me.
379
00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:19,943
Oooh, careful !
380
00:16:20,044 --> 00:16:21,712
I'm want to send in
some white light.
381
00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:23,580
You know, bring in
the white light
382
00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:25,883
Into the energy field.
383
00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:28,552
I was only
doing it, like,
384
00:16:28,653 --> 00:16:29,854
To protest the
war and stuff,
385
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:32,589
I sorta of feel that.
386
00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:35,459
I think the troops
are moving out anyway.
387
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,295
Hey, buddy,
do you mind, um--
388
00:16:38,396 --> 00:16:40,030
Sorry, excuse me.
389
00:16:40,131 --> 00:16:41,598
That's okay.
We'll just wait here.
390
00:16:41,699 --> 00:16:43,867
Let me talk to him
real quick.
391
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:45,602
Yeah, peace.
( chuckles )
392
00:16:45,703 --> 00:16:48,105
Take your time.
393
00:16:48,206 --> 00:16:49,506
Hey, dude.
394
00:16:49,607 --> 00:16:50,674
( chuckles )
395
00:16:50,775 --> 00:16:52,709
Whoo,
it feels good.
396
00:16:52,810 --> 00:16:53,877
Yeah !
397
00:16:53,979 --> 00:16:55,780
What have we been doing
all our lives ?
398
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:56,813
Nothing, man.
399
00:16:56,914 --> 00:16:59,416
Risking our necks
for... What ?
400
00:16:59,517 --> 00:17:01,852
I haven't had a beautiful woman
touch me in 15 years, man.
401
00:17:01,953 --> 00:17:03,920
I'm done.
Let's call it.
402
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:05,455
This is it,
let's quit.
403
00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:07,458
You're buddy, I'm kyle.
404
00:17:07,558 --> 00:17:08,692
All right, kyle.
405
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,494
( both chuckle )
406
00:17:10,595 --> 00:17:12,563
Oh, shit.
What ?
407
00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:13,998
That's him, man.
408
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:17,067
That's one-eyed jack.
409
00:17:17,168 --> 00:17:20,471
Hey, freeze !
Freeze-- sheriff's department !
410
00:17:24,008 --> 00:17:25,042
Oh, shit,
what was I thinking ?
411
00:17:25,143 --> 00:17:26,543
What the hell
was I thinking ?
412
00:17:26,644 --> 00:17:28,578
I love being a cop, man !
413
00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:34,885
Go on, baby.
Go on.
414
00:17:34,986 --> 00:17:38,788
I thought there
used to be school.
415
00:17:38,889 --> 00:17:40,524
I thought children
used to go to school.
416
00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:43,026
Apparently not anymore.
417
00:17:43,127 --> 00:17:44,594
Apparently not anymore.
418
00:17:44,695 --> 00:17:47,865
Now we drive around, and
they play grand theft auto,
419
00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:50,400
And they get on
the crack pipe at 4:00,
420
00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:54,338
And they're working
for wal-mart.
421
00:17:54,439 --> 00:17:55,506
Mama's in the basement
422
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:58,074
Doing phone sex
for 8 bucks an hour.
423
00:17:58,176 --> 00:18:02,513
Dad's in the garage
cooking up meth,
424
00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:04,014
Calling some other woman
on the damn phone sex.
425
00:18:04,115 --> 00:18:07,985
In some other basement
coming down off of meth.
426
00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:10,487
A web of fucking evil.
427
00:18:10,588 --> 00:18:12,490
This is the worst country
in the world.
428
00:18:21,165 --> 00:18:22,399
I made up a word game.
429
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,034
I don't really
want to play.
430
00:18:24,135 --> 00:18:25,235
Okay, I'll play
by myself.
431
00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:27,505
No, what's your game ?
432
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,739
Green.
433
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,741
Fun.
434
00:18:31,843 --> 00:18:34,111
Tag.
435
00:18:34,212 --> 00:18:35,946
Blue.
436
00:18:36,047 --> 00:18:39,683
Ways to annoy your
partner who's driving ?
437
00:18:39,784 --> 00:18:40,684
Yeah.
438
00:18:40,785 --> 00:18:42,620
Bingo.
439
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,222
No, it's not bingo,
it's a word game.
440
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:53,464
Responding to a 9-1-1
suicide attempt.
441
00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:54,932
We got a jumper
on the building.
442
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,934
Yo ! Yo ! Yo !
Hey, hey, hey !
443
00:18:57,035 --> 00:19:00,037
What the hell are you
doing up here, sir ?
444
00:19:00,138 --> 00:19:01,538
I'm base-jumping, baby.
445
00:19:01,639 --> 00:19:03,941
I got my mind set now
on the p-b-js, baby.
446
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,810
We got our mind set
447
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:08,745
On you coming off this roof
with us, okay ?
448
00:19:08,846 --> 00:19:12,516
I've jumped off the needle,
the sears tower,
449
00:19:12,617 --> 00:19:14,451
The frank lloyd wright house
in highland park, illinois.
450
00:19:14,552 --> 00:19:17,287
Just a ranch house,
but it was a start.
451
00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:18,955
And now I'm ready to rock
this building, baby.
452
00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:20,056
Let's do it,
let's do it !
453
00:19:20,157 --> 00:19:21,225
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho !
454
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,793
You want me
to get down ?
455
00:19:22,894 --> 00:19:24,094
I want you to get down
off the roof, sir.
456
00:19:24,195 --> 00:19:25,296
Well, then,
let's do it, baby !
457
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:27,630
Ho, ho, ho !
458
00:19:27,732 --> 00:19:29,332
Hey !
459
00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:32,736
Arrrrggghhh !
460
00:19:32,837 --> 00:19:35,806
Holy shit, holy--
we need backup.
461
00:19:35,907 --> 00:19:37,207
( crash )
462
00:19:37,308 --> 00:19:39,176
11-charlie-reno.
463
00:19:39,277 --> 00:19:42,245
We got one, uh,
d-w-g--
464
00:19:42,346 --> 00:19:43,947
Dead white guy.
465
00:20:00,931 --> 00:20:04,834
ââ¢Âª this ain't the end
I saw you again ââ¢Âª
466
00:20:04,935 --> 00:20:10,841
ââ¢Âª today I had to
hide my heart away, uh-huh ââ¢Âª
467
00:20:10,942 --> 00:20:16,112
ââ¢Âª you smile like the sun
kisses for everyone ââ¢Âª
468
00:20:16,213 --> 00:20:20,884
ââ¢Âª and tales
it never fails ââ¢Âª
469
00:20:20,985 --> 00:20:23,520
ââ¢Âª you lying so low
in the weeds ââ¢Âª
470
00:20:23,621 --> 00:20:27,157
ââ¢Âª I bet you're
gonna ambush me ââ¢Âª
471
00:20:27,258 --> 00:20:32,396
ââ¢Âª you'd have me down, down,
down, down on my knees ââ¢Âª
472
00:20:32,496 --> 00:20:33,530
( slide-whistle )
473
00:20:33,631 --> 00:20:36,099
ââ¢Âª barracuda ââ¢Âª
474
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:41,604
ââ¢Âª oh, ohhh ââ¢Âª
475
00:20:41,705 --> 00:20:43,006
Whoo !
476
00:20:48,746 --> 00:20:51,715
Doctor said that it was
going to come out natural.
477
00:20:51,816 --> 00:20:53,116
Yeah, but we
got to study it,
478
00:20:53,217 --> 00:20:54,584
We got to get it
while it's fresh.
479
00:20:54,685 --> 00:20:55,953
By the time it
comes out natural
480
00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:57,788
These boys could
be in california.
481
00:20:57,889 --> 00:20:59,456
If we can't check it
for prints,
482
00:20:59,557 --> 00:21:01,592
If we can't
check for trauma,
483
00:21:01,693 --> 00:21:03,327
You're painting us
into a corner.
484
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:05,228
We'll find a quiet spot in
the parking lot out there,
485
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,264
Try and get it out, and
then get you on your way.
486
00:21:07,365 --> 00:21:08,665
And you'll be
good, okay ? Yeah.
487
00:21:08,766 --> 00:21:12,602
Now, you was facing one way,
hot dog man was behind you.
488
00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:15,538
Are you sure it was
just one hot dog ?
489
00:21:15,639 --> 00:21:17,807
It was a foot long,
but it was just one.
490
00:21:17,909 --> 00:21:20,143
A foot long.
491
00:21:20,193 --> 00:21:24,743
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