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1
00:00:04,536 --> 00:00:08,339
All right, uh, what we are doing
today is a sting operation.
2
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,142
We have placed
a decoy spectra out here,
3
00:00:11,244 --> 00:00:12,944
Brand-new 2004.
4
00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:14,346
It's kind of
a bad neighborhood,
5
00:00:14,447 --> 00:00:16,681
And we only put about
a shot glass worth
6
00:00:16,782 --> 00:00:17,882
Of gasoline in the tank.
7
00:00:17,983 --> 00:00:19,383
They'll get about
half a block,
8
00:00:19,485 --> 00:00:21,419
And then we just
slap the cuffs on them.
9
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,087
What they do generally,
10
00:00:23,188 --> 00:00:24,689
They take them
to the chop shop
11
00:00:24,790 --> 00:00:26,291
'cause they can get more
for them like that.
12
00:00:26,392 --> 00:00:30,161
43 car thefts a year--
ridiculous.
13
00:00:30,262 --> 00:00:31,363
Yeah.
Yeah.
14
00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:32,897
So we're gonna put
a stop to that.
15
00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:34,933
Uh, I'm sorry.
Excuse me, excuse me.
16
00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:36,334
What ?
17
00:00:36,435 --> 00:00:42,507
Uh...
Oh, my.
18
00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:45,743
Whoo !
Come here !
19
00:00:45,844 --> 00:00:47,245
( tires screeching )
20
00:00:49,014 --> 00:00:50,948
Oh... Ah !
21
00:00:53,152 --> 00:00:54,485
Whoa !
22
00:00:58,390 --> 00:01:00,692
( growling )
23
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,268
( sirens blaring )
24
00:01:19,678 --> 00:01:23,248
( siren blaring )
25
00:01:27,052 --> 00:01:29,287
( dangle )
so, if you see any of those suspicious sneakers,
26
00:01:29,388 --> 00:01:32,056
Just report them
immediately.
27
00:01:32,157 --> 00:01:33,591
Uh, last order of business.
28
00:01:33,692 --> 00:01:38,129
Uh, we got a letter from the,
uh, the kenny rogers people.
29
00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:40,232
I guess he's coming to town
to promote this book,
30
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,666
Some crap like that,
31
00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:43,534
And they want some people
for a security detail.
32
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:45,103
Whoo !
Me !
33
00:01:45,204 --> 00:01:48,272
Please-- please
yes, sir, please.
34
00:01:48,373 --> 00:01:49,441
You, too ?
Yes.
35
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:50,975
Super, done.
36
00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:52,577
"the gambler" !
"the gambler" !
37
00:01:52,678 --> 00:01:54,712
"ruby, don't take
your love to town."
38
00:01:54,813 --> 00:01:55,947
( williams )
who is kenny rogers ?
39
00:01:56,048 --> 00:01:58,817
Who is-- oh, hello ?
"gambler" ?
40
00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:02,754
He's, like,
the white lionel richie.
41
00:02:02,854 --> 00:02:04,222
So, what we're gonna
have to do--
42
00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:06,791
I would say that lionel richie
is the white lionel richie.
43
00:02:06,892 --> 00:02:08,826
Who's the black
lionel richie ?
44
00:02:08,927 --> 00:02:10,962
Could everyone stop
pitter-pattering ?
45
00:02:11,063 --> 00:02:12,130
We have work to do.
46
00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:13,698
Talk amongst
yourselves.
47
00:02:13,799 --> 00:02:15,700
Okay, go, go.
Dismissed, dismissed.
48
00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:17,402
"who is kenny rogers ?"
49
00:02:17,503 --> 00:02:18,937
Go look out for
the "rhinestone cowboy."
50
00:02:19,038 --> 00:02:20,304
56 albums...
51
00:02:20,405 --> 00:02:23,941
Is he the one with the long
braids, and he wears the scarf ?
52
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:25,576
Willie nelson.
That's willie.
53
00:02:25,677 --> 00:02:27,344
What are they doing
out there ?
54
00:02:27,446 --> 00:02:29,380
If I gave a shit
about kenny rogers,
55
00:02:29,481 --> 00:02:31,115
I would take them off
of this assignment.
56
00:02:31,216 --> 00:02:35,453
Quick draw,
loser buys lunch.
57
00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:36,854
Ready ?
58
00:02:36,955 --> 00:02:38,089
Go !
59
00:02:39,124 --> 00:02:40,391
I feel like you lost.
60
00:02:40,492 --> 00:02:43,394
I lost that one ?
Okay, lunch is on me.
61
00:02:47,199 --> 00:02:50,869
Got ourselves a narcotics
search warrant here.
62
00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:52,503
Sheriff's department !
63
00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:54,105
Shoot it.
64
00:02:54,206 --> 00:02:55,707
Hi.
65
00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:57,241
Don't "hi" me, sister,
where's the stuff ?
66
00:02:57,342 --> 00:02:59,110
What are you--
where is the stuff ?
67
00:02:59,211 --> 00:03:01,178
Where is the shit,
sweetheart ? !
68
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,514
I don't know what
you're looking for.
69
00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:03,715
You don't know what
we're looking for ?
70
00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:05,082
Don't know what we're
looking for, huh ? No.
71
00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:06,918
Just tell us where
the shit is right now.
72
00:03:07,019 --> 00:03:09,020
Where's the shit ?
Like manure ?
73
00:03:09,121 --> 00:03:11,989
Fuck you !
Toss the room !
74
00:03:12,090 --> 00:03:13,491
Don't fuck with me.
75
00:03:13,592 --> 00:03:16,227
I don't know.
76
00:03:16,328 --> 00:03:19,864
Tell me where the shit is,
and I'll make it stop.
77
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:24,035
What do you do ?
What do you do for a living ?
78
00:03:24,136 --> 00:03:27,806
I teach arts and crafts to
the blind and the disabled.
79
00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:29,073
Bull !
80
00:03:29,174 --> 00:03:31,409
Bullshit !
You sell junk !
81
00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:33,044
Bullshit !
82
00:03:33,145 --> 00:03:34,879
( shouting )
83
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:36,213
What's in here ?
Am I hot or am I cold ?
84
00:03:36,314 --> 00:03:38,048
Am I hot ?
85
00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:41,519
( shouting )
86
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,256
Hello...
87
00:03:45,357 --> 00:03:46,658
No, my cat just died !
88
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,159
Oh, your cat died ?
It just died !
89
00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:51,028
Bullshit !
Stop lying, stop crying.
90
00:03:51,129 --> 00:03:52,696
Stop crying,
stop lying
91
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,699
( crying )
why are you doing that ?
92
00:03:54,800 --> 00:04:00,872
What's in here ?
What's in here ?!
93
00:04:00,973 --> 00:04:03,974
( vacuum starting )
94
00:04:04,075 --> 00:04:05,376
What do you got ?
95
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:07,045
Lady,
where is the shit ?
96
00:04:07,146 --> 00:04:08,412
We got nothing.
97
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:09,747
You got nothing ?!
98
00:04:09,848 --> 00:04:13,250
You made a mistake.
99
00:04:13,352 --> 00:04:14,519
Bullshit !
100
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,654
917 keystone avenue,
number six.
101
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:19,991
I'm number nine.
102
00:04:20,092 --> 00:04:22,960
The nail
fell out.
103
00:04:23,061 --> 00:04:24,595
( sobbing )
104
00:04:24,696 --> 00:04:27,465
Sorry,
have a nice day.
105
00:04:27,566 --> 00:04:28,900
She had it coming,
really.
106
00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:31,436
We're looking for, uh,
number six.
107
00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:33,738
No, that's number nine.
108
00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:35,106
No, we just did that,
we're looking for six.
109
00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:39,343
7, 8...
110
00:04:41,179 --> 00:04:42,747
...9, 10. Okay.
111
00:04:42,848 --> 00:04:45,282
Well, no,
we're looking for 6.
112
00:04:45,384 --> 00:04:46,851
10, 9...
113
00:04:46,952 --> 00:04:48,186
( together )
8, 7...
114
00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:49,220
Shit !
Shit ! Shit !
115
00:04:49,321 --> 00:04:51,189
Here we go !
116
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,957
Ahh, shit !
117
00:04:53,058 --> 00:04:54,325
It's still open.
118
00:04:54,426 --> 00:04:55,993
Freeze, lady !
Freeze !
119
00:04:56,094 --> 00:04:59,930
Drop the shit !
Drop the shit !
120
00:05:00,031 --> 00:05:01,699
Goddamn it !
121
00:05:06,338 --> 00:05:08,072
There he is.
122
00:05:08,173 --> 00:05:09,974
My god,
my god.
123
00:05:10,075 --> 00:05:12,210
How you doing, mr. Rogers ?
Pleasure to meet you.
124
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:14,712
I'm james garcia,
reno sheriff's department.
125
00:05:14,813 --> 00:05:15,914
Nice to meet you.
126
00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:17,315
Wow, it's nice
to meet you.
127
00:05:17,416 --> 00:05:18,549
Boy, when they gave us
this assignment,
128
00:05:18,650 --> 00:05:19,951
I jumped up and said,
129
00:05:20,052 --> 00:05:22,119
"the excitement's in the playing
the cards, not the watching,"
130
00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:24,188
Like in "gambler iv,"
brady hawkes.
131
00:05:24,289 --> 00:05:26,324
Hey, I want you
to meet my partner,
132
00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:28,493
This is deputy wiegel.
133
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:30,094
Deputy wiegel.
134
00:05:30,195 --> 00:05:31,261
A pleasure, sir.
135
00:05:31,363 --> 00:05:33,297
We're gonna be
providing security--
136
00:05:33,398 --> 00:05:34,499
What is
all of this ?
137
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,234
I'm your decoy, sir.
138
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,835
Decoy.
Yeah.
139
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,203
We're gonna be
providing security
140
00:05:39,304 --> 00:05:40,838
To and from the event,
at the event itself.
141
00:05:40,939 --> 00:05:43,107
Okay, well,
let's go to the limo.
142
00:05:43,208 --> 00:05:45,476
Actually, sir,
the limo's for the decoy.
143
00:05:45,577 --> 00:05:47,545
They would be expecting you
to arrive in a limo,
144
00:05:47,646 --> 00:05:49,147
So I'm gonna
arrive in the limo.
145
00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:51,082
We will be taking
an alternate route.
146
00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:53,051
( clears throat )
147
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:55,086
Thank you,
pardner.
148
00:05:55,187 --> 00:05:58,423
Thank you.
149
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,490
Oh-ho !
150
00:05:59,591 --> 00:06:02,693
Well, there...
Oh, lordy.
151
00:06:02,794 --> 00:06:04,228
All right, mr. Rogers,
right this way, if you could.
152
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:05,863
Just put on this coat.
153
00:06:05,964 --> 00:06:07,264
Checkpoint one,
we're clear.
154
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:08,632
We're go, we're coming in.
The gambler is coming in.
155
00:06:08,734 --> 00:06:10,935
Sir, back off !
156
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:18,609
I can't believe
I'm in a holy squad car
157
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:21,145
With brady hawkes-- wow.
158
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:22,513
Big fan--
brady hawkes.
159
00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:24,215
Oh, so you do know,
that's good.
160
00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:27,084
You know, I'd like to say I'm
a big fan of all your movies.
161
00:06:27,185 --> 00:06:30,622
Hey, truth be told, I think
you're a great actor.
162
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,123
Well, thanks.
163
00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:34,491
I kind of like your movies
more than I do your singing.
164
00:06:34,592 --> 00:06:35,960
Really ?
165
00:06:36,061 --> 00:06:37,595
That gives me confidence
to get out there
166
00:06:37,696 --> 00:06:39,397
And maybe act some more.
167
00:06:39,498 --> 00:06:41,266
I think you should,
I really think you should.
168
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:44,302
Time to leave that other, you
know, singing stuff behind.
169
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,504
Oh, you mean
don't sing at all ?
170
00:06:46,605 --> 00:06:48,339
Yeah, I think it's
time to move on.
171
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:52,911
I could see you getting up
there and winning an oscar--
172
00:06:53,011 --> 00:06:54,512
Don't sing at all ?
173
00:06:54,613 --> 00:06:56,214
Well, you know,
give it a rest a little bit.
174
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:57,515
Well, if it's
all the same,
175
00:06:57,616 --> 00:07:00,218
I'd like to kind of get there
as soon as possible
176
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:03,321
Because I have
some things I need to do.
177
00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:04,521
We're on schedule.
178
00:07:04,623 --> 00:07:06,824
We got about another hour,
hour and a half.
179
00:07:06,925 --> 00:07:09,394
To drive ?!
180
00:07:17,702 --> 00:07:18,669
I wrote a song,
by the way.
181
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,138
You're not gonna
sing this for me ?
182
00:07:20,239 --> 00:07:21,705
It goes, like, uh,
183
00:07:21,807 --> 00:07:24,975
ââ¢Âª woman,
I'm your man on a horse ââ¢Âª
184
00:07:25,076 --> 00:07:27,879
ââ¢Âª and I know you love me ââ¢Âª
185
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:29,914
ââ¢Âª woman,
I will protect you-- ââ¢Âª
186
00:07:30,015 --> 00:07:34,485
So... Do you notice
any similarities
187
00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:37,622
To lionel richie's song
"lady" there ?
188
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:40,091
No-- "woman, I'm your man
on a shining horse"--
189
00:07:40,192 --> 00:07:42,059
"lady, I'm your knight
in shining armor,
190
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,095
And I love you."
191
00:07:44,196 --> 00:07:46,731
"woman, I'm your man,
I'm on a horse
192
00:07:46,832 --> 00:07:47,932
And I love you."
193
00:07:48,033 --> 00:07:49,634
I said, "you love me."
194
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:52,337
Oh, well, that does put it in
a different place, doesn't it ?
195
00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:54,072
I mean,
there's a chance--
196
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:57,041
Do you know what the world
"plagiarism" means ?
197
00:07:57,142 --> 00:08:00,144
It has nothing
to do with a flag,
198
00:08:00,245 --> 00:08:02,045
I'll tell you that
right now.
199
00:08:02,147 --> 00:08:03,781
( williams )
oh, mama, please !
200
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,949
Please talk to daddy !
201
00:08:06,051 --> 00:08:10,488
I love ebay,
and I wanna marry him !
202
00:08:10,589 --> 00:08:14,659
Oh, lord, james,
listen to the girl.
203
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,928
Her heart is breaking.
204
00:08:17,028 --> 00:08:21,399
Florida, that girl
ain't marrying no ebay.
205
00:08:23,602 --> 00:08:27,438
I need another puppet
to be j.J.
206
00:08:27,539 --> 00:08:30,307
You know,
"dyno-mite !"
207
00:08:30,409 --> 00:08:32,977
I need a...
208
00:08:33,078 --> 00:08:34,812
Let me see your sock.
209
00:08:34,913 --> 00:08:36,481
Dyno-mite !
210
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:40,785
Dyno-mite !
211
00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:50,094
Sheriff's department !
212
00:08:50,195 --> 00:08:51,729
( indistinct shouting )
213
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,897
Sheriff's department.
214
00:08:53,998 --> 00:08:56,901
Sheriff's department !
215
00:08:57,002 --> 00:08:58,335
What the hell
is that ?
216
00:08:58,436 --> 00:08:59,703
Sheriff's department !
217
00:08:59,804 --> 00:09:01,038
Shut the hell up.
218
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,707
Now, what the hell's
going on in here ?
219
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:03,908
Why don't you tell them
what the bet is ?
220
00:09:04,009 --> 00:09:05,043
Go ahead, explain it.
221
00:09:05,143 --> 00:09:06,577
You'll see why
I'm in this situation.
222
00:09:06,678 --> 00:09:08,713
It's a really good shot,
watch.
223
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,014
Hit it to the 11,
224
00:09:10,115 --> 00:09:12,116
Hit both the blue ball
and the stripy blue ball.
225
00:09:12,217 --> 00:09:14,185
It's gonna hit the 1,
to the 7,
226
00:09:14,285 --> 00:09:15,820
Hit the red 3,
227
00:09:15,921 --> 00:09:18,255
All the way into the middle
pocket right there.
228
00:09:18,356 --> 00:09:19,557
Bam, right there !
That's it.
229
00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:21,759
It's a joke,
it's a joke shot.
230
00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:23,160
Yeah, shut up.
231
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:24,762
I can do it.
232
00:09:24,863 --> 00:09:26,397
Travis, sidebar.
233
00:09:26,498 --> 00:09:29,000
Shut up and shut up--
sidebar, travis.
234
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,668
What do you mean
when you said sidebar ?
235
00:09:30,769 --> 00:09:33,537
Come over here
by the side.
236
00:09:33,638 --> 00:09:34,872
Oh, oh, oh.
237
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:36,341
I have my bank card.
238
00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:37,975
I got a bank card,
a.T.M.'s right there.
239
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,911
Think she'll
take our money ?
240
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:41,546
What she gonna do,
turn away money ?
241
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:42,679
( mocking tone )
"I hit a stripy"
242
00:09:42,781 --> 00:09:44,381
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
let's do it.
243
00:09:44,482 --> 00:09:45,949
My partner and I
happen to have cash money
244
00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:47,518
And would love nothing more
in the world
245
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,320
Than to see you
perform the shot
246
00:09:49,421 --> 00:09:52,957
With the stripy and the
3 in the middle pocket.
247
00:09:53,058 --> 00:09:56,227
I'm waiting with
bated breath.
248
00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:00,231
Ohh !
Ow !
249
00:10:01,466 --> 00:10:03,534
Come on, baby,
come on !
250
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:09,674
Good morning.
251
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,042
Morning, sunshine.
252
00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:12,343
( man )
is that you ?
253
00:10:12,444 --> 00:10:14,078
Come here,
let me in, man.
254
00:10:14,179 --> 00:10:16,079
What you doing
out here ?
255
00:10:16,181 --> 00:10:18,516
Well, maybe you guys
can actually help me.
256
00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,585
My fraternity brothers
locked me out.
257
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:23,187
I passed out, and I woke up,
and the doors were locked.
258
00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:25,756
You been drinking ?
259
00:10:25,857 --> 00:10:27,791
N--
last night, yeah.
260
00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:31,896
I passed out.
261
00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:35,599
Open your mouth,
please.
262
00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:37,334
You got anything
inserted in there ?
263
00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:38,469
No, no.
264
00:10:38,570 --> 00:10:40,370
Do you guys want
a beer or anything ?
265
00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:42,072
Go for it.
266
00:10:42,173 --> 00:10:43,141
Go for it.
267
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:45,342
Excuse
me for one second.
268
00:10:45,443 --> 00:10:47,245
( johnson )
yes.
269
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:49,813
Mmm...
270
00:10:49,914 --> 00:10:51,315
Empty.
271
00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:52,884
You are gonna
have to come with us.
272
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,085
Your friends aren't
letting you in
273
00:10:54,186 --> 00:10:55,219
And all this
hollering and screaming
274
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,621
You're doing out here--
unacceptable.
275
00:10:57,722 --> 00:10:59,857
Get you
some breakfast-- ( horn honks )
276
00:10:59,958 --> 00:11:03,461
Take some pictures of you
to make sure you're okay.
277
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:05,830
Is it breezy
to you guys ?
278
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:08,632
No, I'm good.
No, it's not breezy.
279
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,302
But I am hungry.
280
00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:20,778
I like that one scene, uh,
when you get--
281
00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:25,416
The pinkertons think
you're in the whorehouse,
282
00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:27,318
At franny parson's.
283
00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:28,886
Where ?
284
00:11:28,987 --> 00:11:30,788
Franny parson's place.
285
00:11:30,889 --> 00:11:33,090
Inside the whorehouse
with the whores.
286
00:11:33,191 --> 00:11:35,293
How many hours a day
do you work ?
287
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:38,095
Is that all you do
is watch movies ?
288
00:11:38,196 --> 00:11:40,798
Oh, I do know this,
I read it on your website.
289
00:11:40,899 --> 00:11:44,068
I'll do the last line
in "gambler v,"
290
00:11:44,169 --> 00:11:45,435
When she says,
"is he gone ?"
291
00:11:45,537 --> 00:11:49,173
You say, "nobody's gone
until they're forgotten."
292
00:11:49,274 --> 00:11:50,440
"until they're
forgotten."
293
00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:56,279
It will be a long time
before I forget you, garcia.
294
00:11:56,381 --> 00:11:59,650
I'll never forget brady hawkes,
especially in "gambler v."
295
00:11:59,751 --> 00:12:00,851
Oh, god.
296
00:12:00,952 --> 00:12:03,587
Please, god.
When that lillian...
297
00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:08,726
Yeah, wiegel, this is garcia.
Where the hell are you ?
298
00:12:08,827 --> 00:12:11,295
( wiegel on radio )
I think I'm in a shoe store.
299
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:13,864
Okay, the guys have
referee shirts on them ?
300
00:12:13,965 --> 00:12:15,866
Um, yes.
301
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:18,569
I think I'm lost, and I'm
freaking out a little bit.
302
00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:19,871
If you look to your right,
303
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:22,639
There should be that
orange julius in a food court.
304
00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,742
Head towards the food court.
305
00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:27,612
Jim, there's a dancing pretzel
up here you have got to see.
306
00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:29,546
It's a guy
dressed as a pretzel,
307
00:12:29,647 --> 00:12:31,149
And he's dancing--
yes, thank you.
308
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,218
He's giving out
free samples of pretzels.
309
00:12:34,319 --> 00:12:35,519
That's nice, wiegel.
310
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,421
I can't leave kenny alone,
I've got to stay here, okay ?
311
00:12:37,522 --> 00:12:39,723
So say "hello" to
mr. Pretzel for me
312
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,425
And come
down the escalator.
313
00:12:41,526 --> 00:12:43,861
Okay, I'm coming down
the escalator.
314
00:12:43,962 --> 00:12:45,463
Jesus christ.
315
00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:48,365
I got mixed up around
the up and down escalator.
316
00:12:48,466 --> 00:12:50,134
Yeah, down goes down...
317
00:12:50,235 --> 00:12:51,936
...And up goes up.
I know that now.
318
00:12:52,036 --> 00:12:53,870
I don't know how much he told
you about what just happened.
319
00:12:53,971 --> 00:12:56,640
I got caught up on the third
floor in a jan's jewelers.
320
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,476
The next thing I know,
I'm all turned around.
321
00:12:58,577 --> 00:13:01,344
I have total dysplasia,
I'm so confused...
322
00:13:01,446 --> 00:13:02,713
That's frightening.
323
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,682
Woo, I'm okay, though.
324
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:06,150
We're all here, we're all okay,
it's all okay.
325
00:13:06,251 --> 00:13:09,854
There is a guy up there
dressed like a pretzel
326
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,355
That you...
( laughs )
327
00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:12,723
You really should see.
328
00:13:12,824 --> 00:13:14,157
You can go up there--
I don't know how he does it.
329
00:13:14,258 --> 00:13:15,793
He's in a foam costume,
this guy.
330
00:13:15,894 --> 00:13:19,330
He's got his face coming out
like a piece of salt,
331
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:21,865
And his arms must be wrapped in
some kind of crazy concoction.
332
00:13:21,966 --> 00:13:23,301
And somehow still,
he's able to give out
333
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:24,936
Samples of pretzels
like this...
334
00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:27,671
He's a good guy, he also plays
santa claus at christmas.
335
00:13:27,772 --> 00:13:29,306
Oh, same guy ?
336
00:13:29,407 --> 00:13:30,875
You could go up there,
337
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,443
Take a picture with him
for a buck if you want.
338
00:13:32,544 --> 00:13:34,611
Will they charge us $3
if we all go ?
339
00:13:34,712 --> 00:13:35,913
I don't know.
340
00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:37,247
Well, you're kenny rogers,
though...
341
00:13:37,348 --> 00:13:38,548
I don't have any money.
342
00:13:38,649 --> 00:13:40,117
Yeah, but I don't like
to throw that around.
343
00:13:40,218 --> 00:13:42,386
I'd just as soon
not say who I am.
344
00:13:42,487 --> 00:13:45,822
If we go up, I'm going as
john q. Public, okay ?
345
00:13:45,923 --> 00:13:47,991
That's a harder name to say
than "kenny rogers."
346
00:13:48,092 --> 00:13:51,262
Well, let's open the doors
and let them in,
347
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,430
What do you say ?
348
00:13:53,531 --> 00:13:55,499
The doors
are open, sir.
349
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,134
They've been open
for two hours.
350
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,436
About two hours.
351
00:14:08,313 --> 00:14:09,947
911 call...
352
00:14:10,048 --> 00:14:12,082
Oh, shit.
353
00:14:12,183 --> 00:14:14,284
( man )
we don't exactly know what...
354
00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:15,419
Hey, check it out.
355
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,587
Holy shit,
that's gene kennedy.
356
00:14:17,688 --> 00:14:19,023
That's
channel four news.
357
00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:20,658
Sir, hi.
Hey.
358
00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:24,828
You're the witness
to what happened here ?
359
00:14:24,929 --> 00:14:26,696
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it was crazy, man.
360
00:14:26,797 --> 00:14:28,132
I was in the strip club,
right ?
361
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:29,867
And all of a sudden
I got a little headache
362
00:14:29,968 --> 00:14:31,302
'cause the stripper smell--
363
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:33,103
The stripper smell
was getting--
364
00:14:33,204 --> 00:14:34,504
"the stripper smell..."
365
00:14:34,605 --> 00:14:36,206
The stripper smell was
getting on my nerves, right ?
366
00:14:36,307 --> 00:14:37,308
I couldn't take it, right ?
367
00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:39,043
So I came out here
to get some fresh air.
368
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:40,978
Next thing I know,
there was a gun, right ?
369
00:14:41,079 --> 00:14:43,280
There was a dude,
first.
370
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,348
"the dude had a gun..."
371
00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:48,185
The dude with a gun,
he was a big dude.
372
00:14:48,286 --> 00:14:49,252
How big ?
How big ?
373
00:14:49,353 --> 00:14:50,987
5'6", 5'7", 125.
374
00:14:51,088 --> 00:14:52,589
Average to smallish
maybe then, really.
375
00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:54,725
For little people,
he was a big dude.
376
00:14:54,826 --> 00:14:57,194
To a little person,
he was a big dude.
377
00:14:57,295 --> 00:14:59,530
Was it a white guy,
black guy ?
378
00:14:59,631 --> 00:15:00,931
Exactly,
exactly right.
379
00:15:01,032 --> 00:15:02,299
Biracial ?
380
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,634
Bi...
381
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:05,369
I don't--
you know, he could be.
382
00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:06,937
"could've been
biracial..."
383
00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,772
But it was a fast--
384
00:15:08,873 --> 00:15:10,741
People are so mixed today,
you can't really tell.
385
00:15:10,842 --> 00:15:12,242
It's like
mariah carey.
386
00:15:12,343 --> 00:15:14,044
Mariah carey-looking.
387
00:15:14,145 --> 00:15:17,314
And then I hear this,
"ohh, I've been assaulted !
388
00:15:17,415 --> 00:15:18,482
I've been assaulted !"
389
00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:20,150
That's when I knew someone
had been assaulted.
390
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,953
Next thing I know, I hear
the stomping of the feet,
391
00:15:23,054 --> 00:15:24,655
So I'm thinking
he has shoes on, right ?
392
00:15:24,756 --> 00:15:26,090
He has shoes.
393
00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:27,491
You're thinking he has shoes on,
you're thinking.
394
00:15:27,592 --> 00:15:30,961
And he was running,
running, running.
395
00:15:31,062 --> 00:15:33,930
I was gonna go,
"hey, let me stop you.
396
00:15:34,031 --> 00:15:35,499
Let me stop him."
"no, don't !"
397
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,036
Next thing I know,
someone's like,
398
00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:41,838
"oh, oh, the police
are coming here..."
399
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,340
Um...
400
00:15:43,441 --> 00:15:44,874
I think he's blind.
He's fucking blind.
401
00:15:44,976 --> 00:15:46,777
I'm telling you,
everything I know.
402
00:15:46,878 --> 00:15:50,347
It's emotional for me,
it's very hard, I--
403
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:53,517
Uh, ahem, sir...
404
00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:59,290
Sir, you've been very--
this is really great.
405
00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:02,092
Sir, we're gonna
take your lead,
406
00:16:02,193 --> 00:16:03,493
We got all your notes.
407
00:16:03,594 --> 00:16:07,264
We are gonna hit the streets
like bats out of hell.
408
00:16:07,365 --> 00:16:09,900
I think he went either
left or right.
409
00:16:10,001 --> 00:16:11,568
One of those directions.
410
00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:12,969
Either left or right.
411
00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:14,438
You've been
very helpful.
412
00:16:14,539 --> 00:16:16,873
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
413
00:16:16,974 --> 00:16:20,177
Gene's doing a live feed
to the news, watch this...
414
00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:24,515
Hey, kennedy !
415
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:26,350
Hey, come on.
416
00:16:26,451 --> 00:16:27,784
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
417
00:16:27,885 --> 00:16:30,087
Fuck you,
channel four.
418
00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:47,104
It's done,
all perimeters are secured.
419
00:16:47,205 --> 00:16:48,372
So far, so good.
420
00:16:48,473 --> 00:16:50,474
Good job.
421
00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:55,279
Excuse me, but what is
going on here ?
422
00:16:55,379 --> 00:16:58,649
We're-- we've got everything
locked off, you're safe.
423
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,485
Well, of course I'm safe,
there's no people here.
424
00:17:01,586 --> 00:17:03,620
I mean,
where are the people ?
425
00:17:03,721 --> 00:17:04,955
What people ?
What--
426
00:17:05,056 --> 00:17:06,490
I'm here for
a public book signing.
427
00:17:06,591 --> 00:17:08,325
I put up posters
all over town--
428
00:17:08,426 --> 00:17:12,462
We took those posters down,
'cause it was very dangerous.
429
00:17:12,563 --> 00:17:14,264
Sir, you're a very
famous man
430
00:17:14,365 --> 00:17:16,032
And we didn't want
anyone to get at you.
431
00:17:16,134 --> 00:17:19,236
Wait, wait, wait...
You took my posters down ?
432
00:17:19,337 --> 00:17:22,773
Yeah, I mean, that's like
a treasure map to murder.
433
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:25,308
You know what this is gonna
do to me in the community ?
434
00:17:25,409 --> 00:17:27,711
I mean, people come by
435
00:17:27,812 --> 00:17:30,848
And check to see how many people
show up to these things.
436
00:17:30,948 --> 00:17:32,816
That really kind of
determines what your stat--
437
00:17:32,917 --> 00:17:34,218
Do you know what this
makes me--
438
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:37,955
This makes me
look so foolish.
439
00:17:38,056 --> 00:17:39,723
Oh, yeah, pick up your
free fucking book
440
00:17:39,824 --> 00:17:42,225
On the way out, okay ?
441
00:17:42,326 --> 00:17:44,828
Kenny rogers.
Hi.
442
00:17:44,929 --> 00:17:46,296
Kenny rogers, man.
443
00:17:46,397 --> 00:17:48,766
What condition is your
condition in, kenny ?
444
00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:50,367
It's fine.
445
00:17:50,468 --> 00:17:51,668
I love you,
gambler !
446
00:17:51,769 --> 00:17:53,437
( gunshot )
( woman screams )
447
00:17:53,538 --> 00:17:55,372
( gasps )
448
00:17:55,473 --> 00:17:57,040
Oh, shit, oh, lord.
Oh, dear lord.
449
00:17:57,141 --> 00:17:58,108
Kenny !
450
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,109
Move back,
let him breathe.
451
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:00,777
Kenny, kenny, kenny...
Are you okay ?
452
00:18:00,878 --> 00:18:04,381
Get--
g-get me--
453
00:18:04,482 --> 00:18:05,516
He's saying
something.
454
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:08,852
Get me-- get me--
get me mall security.
455
00:18:08,953 --> 00:18:09,986
He wants mall security--
security !
456
00:18:10,087 --> 00:18:13,123
I need someone
to protect me...
457
00:18:13,224 --> 00:18:15,459
From you guys.
458
00:18:19,997 --> 00:18:21,798
Good afternoon...
459
00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:26,236
And welcome to
driver safety school !
460
00:18:26,337 --> 00:18:30,608
All of you scofflaws have
found yourself in here
461
00:18:30,709 --> 00:18:33,577
Because of your disregard
462
00:18:33,678 --> 00:18:37,414
For the law of
the state of nevada !
463
00:18:37,515 --> 00:18:40,517
You people make me
sick to my stomach !
464
00:18:40,618 --> 00:18:44,087
You people are the reason
that our highways
465
00:18:44,188 --> 00:18:49,360
Are a tangled mess
of blood and chrome !
466
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,730
The state has decided
that you will undergo
467
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:57,233
Eight hours of
driver safety training,
468
00:18:57,335 --> 00:18:58,768
And then you will be
given a test
469
00:18:58,869 --> 00:19:02,239
After that eight hours
of driver safety training.
470
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:08,278
And for this service,
we are paid $31.50...
471
00:19:08,379 --> 00:19:10,046
Before taxes.
472
00:19:10,147 --> 00:19:12,816
We could
make more at arby's.
473
00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:14,985
So, what do you say
we call it a day
474
00:19:15,086 --> 00:19:18,488
And we all go get some arby's
and then hit it, huh ?
475
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:19,923
Okay ?
476
00:19:20,024 --> 00:19:21,458
"I'm not gonna do
anything bad," everybody ?
477
00:19:21,559 --> 00:19:23,226
Good,
we're good.
478
00:19:23,327 --> 00:19:25,829
Good job,
everybody.
479
00:19:31,102 --> 00:19:31,635
( sighs )
480
00:19:31,736 --> 00:19:32,602
Okay, kenny.
481
00:19:32,703 --> 00:19:33,737
You're gonna be okay.
482
00:19:33,838 --> 00:19:35,038
You're gonna be fine.
483
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,540
Take care, sir.
484
00:19:36,641 --> 00:19:37,608
Thanks.
485
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:40,711
Nice spending the day
with you.
486
00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:44,248
Well, that didn't, uh--
that didn't turn out great.
487
00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,949
But you know what ?
We did the best we could.
488
00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:47,083
I thought so, too.
489
00:19:47,184 --> 00:19:49,085
I thought we were cops,
and we were a team.
490
00:19:49,186 --> 00:19:50,754
Yeah, we were a team,
and we stayed together.
491
00:19:50,855 --> 00:19:53,490
God bless us,
we did what we could.
492
00:19:53,591 --> 00:19:55,225
Good job.
Good job.
493
00:19:59,864 --> 00:20:01,331
Did you just kiss me ?
494
00:20:01,432 --> 00:20:05,436
Uh... No,
I was leaning in.
495
00:20:05,536 --> 00:20:08,271
No, you leaned in,
and then you kissed me.
496
00:20:08,372 --> 00:20:10,040
No, I was just gonna say
"good job."
497
00:20:10,141 --> 00:20:12,709
I think you came at me,
so, uh...
498
00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:18,815
Did you just kiss me because
I look like kenny rogers or...
499
00:20:18,916 --> 00:20:21,752
I don't know...
500
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:25,522
I can't say.
501
00:20:25,623 --> 00:20:27,124
That was weird.
Yeah, yeah.
502
00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:28,692
I'm gonna call it a day.
503
00:20:28,793 --> 00:20:29,826
I'm this way.
I'm this way.
504
00:20:29,927 --> 00:20:32,596
I'll see you later.
Bye-bye.
505
00:20:44,342 --> 00:20:49,179
ââ¢Âª a, d, g, b, d, f, g...
G, d, b, a, g, f, d ââ¢Âª
506
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,680
I took some classes.
507
00:20:50,781 --> 00:20:52,649
Classical--
classically trained.
508
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:54,284
I trained--
I trained classically.
509
00:20:54,385 --> 00:20:57,654
I took one jazz
dance class.
510
00:20:57,755 --> 00:20:58,822
Really ?
Yes.
511
00:20:58,923 --> 00:21:00,323
What did you learn--
512
00:21:00,424 --> 00:21:04,595
What do you learn if you only
take one jazz dance class ?
513
00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:06,163
The first thing
I learned ?
514
00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:07,230
Don't be late,
515
00:21:07,331 --> 00:21:09,566
'cause the lady's very
picky about that.
516
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:10,767
The second thing I learned,
517
00:21:10,868 --> 00:21:12,802
Leg warmers
are apparently out now.
518
00:21:12,903 --> 00:21:14,671
I learned that
the hard way.
519
00:21:14,721 --> 00:21:19,271
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