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1
00:00:11,767 --> 00:00:14,067
Reno,
this is 41-Frank-15.
2
00:00:14,167 --> 00:00:17,267
We're in hot pursuit
of a White Echo,
3
00:00:17,367 --> 00:00:19,801
license Nevada ...
"I-m-a ..."
4
00:00:19,901 --> 00:00:21,501
It's a vanity plate.
5
00:00:21,601 --> 00:00:23,534
"I'm a"...
"I am a"...
6
00:00:23,634 --> 00:00:25,601
"I'm a ..."
"I'm a ..."
7
00:00:25,701 --> 00:00:27,133
"I'm a double-X."
8
00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:28,167
"I'm a X-X-Y."
9
00:00:28,267 --> 00:00:29,667
"I'm a hermaphrodite"?
10
00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:32,000
What was that ...
A hermaphrodite?
11
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,467
"I'm a hermaphrodite"?
12
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:34,634
Crap! Watch out!
13
00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:36,767
[ Siren wailing ]
14
00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:42,834
Oh-ho! Ohh-h-h!
15
00:00:48,234 --> 00:00:50,467
Aah! Aah! Aah!
16
00:00:51,567 --> 00:00:52,601
Yeah.
17
00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:58,534
Shots fired.
18
00:00:58,634 --> 00:01:00,901
Oh, oh, oh!
19
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,934
[ Siren wailing ]
20
00:01:29,534 --> 00:01:32,934
Hello, everybody.
I'm Dr. Barnes.
21
00:01:33,033 --> 00:01:36,467
And I have the results
of your ...
22
00:01:36,567 --> 00:01:39,601
Dr. Barnes, I just want
to let you know right away
23
00:01:39,701 --> 00:01:41,267
that if you found any THC,
24
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,601
any marijuana in my blood
or urine,
25
00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:45,133
I just want to say
26
00:01:45,234 --> 00:01:47,701
that I had to bust up a party
the other night
27
00:01:47,801 --> 00:01:51,167
where there was a lot of
pot-smoking going on, so, um...
28
00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:52,534
All right.
29
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,934
Not that you're gonna find
anything like that
30
00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:56,467
in my blood or urine,
31
00:01:56,567 --> 00:01:59,133
but if you did,
that would be the reason.
32
00:01:59,234 --> 00:02:01,000
What's your name again, ma'am?
33
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,367
Clementine Johnson.
34
00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:03,801
Clementine, yes, yes,
35
00:02:03,901 --> 00:02:06,300
you do have a small,
trace amount there.
36
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,033
I would not take that sort
of order again,
37
00:02:09,133 --> 00:02:11,834
of busting a place with a lot
of pot in it,
38
00:02:11,934 --> 00:02:14,100
because your being pregnant
and all,
39
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,367
that could have
some sort of effect.
40
00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:17,367
[ Laughs ]
41
00:02:17,467 --> 00:02:18,934
No.
That is a mistake.
42
00:02:19,033 --> 00:02:21,367
These are very accurate
tests, ma'am.
43
00:02:21,467 --> 00:02:23,634
You're not ... you can't
be right about that.
44
00:02:23,734 --> 00:02:26,133
Not to be indiscreet, but what
were you doing seven weeks ago?
45
00:02:26,234 --> 00:02:28,167
Ooh-ooh!
[ Laughing ]
46
00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:30,000
Congratulations, girl!
47
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,234
Don't say that.
No, no.
48
00:02:32,334 --> 00:02:34,067
Welcome to motherhood.
49
00:02:34,167 --> 00:02:36,601
Well, we have, um,
a few other things to do,
50
00:02:36,701 --> 00:02:38,667
but none of them
include disrobing.
51
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,234
I don't know why you're all, uh,
sitting here
52
00:02:41,334 --> 00:02:42,534
with your clothes off.
53
00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:44,067
I didn't, uh...
54
00:02:44,167 --> 00:02:47,267
Why are we sitting here with
our clothes off, dangle?
55
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:48,534
Lieutenant?
56
00:02:48,634 --> 00:02:51,067
When we came in,
he was in his underwear.
57
00:02:51,167 --> 00:02:52,534
I just thought...
58
00:02:52,634 --> 00:02:55,400
Well, uh, I don't have to
explain myself.
59
00:02:55,501 --> 00:02:58,367
I don't feel the need
to explain myself.
60
00:03:02,934 --> 00:03:04,200
How we doing today, ma'am?
61
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:05,567
Just fine.
How are you?
62
00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:06,934
I'm doing good.
63
00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:08,601
Ma'am, can I ask you
to put that gun down?
64
00:03:08,701 --> 00:03:10,467
Oh-ho, don't point it
at me.
65
00:03:10,567 --> 00:03:12,534
This belong to me,
and I'm fine.
66
00:03:12,634 --> 00:03:14,634
I'm glad, but put it down,
ma'am.
67
00:03:14,734 --> 00:03:17,234
I'm gonna put it right here,
but you know what?
68
00:03:17,334 --> 00:03:19,267
What happened here
is not my fault.
69
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,234
Set it on that chair
right there.
70
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,701
I just had to take care
of my business today, okay?
71
00:03:23,801 --> 00:03:25,033
Hey, what's going on?
72
00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:26,534
I don't know.
I'm gonna keep this.
73
00:03:26,634 --> 00:03:27,934
Sister, what happened?
74
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,601
Come on down here
and talk to me.
75
00:03:29,701 --> 00:03:31,801
This man come up here
and living in my house,
76
00:03:31,901 --> 00:03:33,467
run off my baby daddy,
okay?
77
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:35,934
He went out and got this
skanky little woman,
78
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:37,801
talking about
that's his cousin,
79
00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:39,701
can she stay with us
for a while?
80
00:03:39,801 --> 00:03:42,334
No, he didn't!
What she look like?
81
00:03:42,434 --> 00:03:44,200
Oh, girl, she look like
Mariah Carey on crack.
82
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,467
What he look like?
83
00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:47,167
He look like Danny glover.
84
00:03:47,267 --> 00:03:50,467
I'm gonna hook you up.
I'm gonna hook you up today.
85
00:03:50,567 --> 00:03:52,267
Oh, thank you.
[ Gasps ]
86
00:03:52,367 --> 00:03:53,467
Huh?
87
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,000
We gonna take this right on up
in the house.
88
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,501
No, no! Ho!
89
00:03:57,601 --> 00:03:59,801
I'm gonna call this in, Rae.
I will call this in.
90
00:03:59,901 --> 00:04:00,934
You need to calm down.
91
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:02,667
He is not gonna play her!
92
00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:04,434
I will go in there and
talk to the man, all right?
93
00:04:04,534 --> 00:04:06,734
No, I'm gonna go and talk,
'cause you gonna talk.
94
00:04:06,834 --> 00:04:08,501
I'm gonna mace.
I'm gonna use mace.
95
00:04:08,601 --> 00:04:10,200
No! Ho, ho, ho!
96
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,367
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
No! No!
97
00:04:12,467 --> 00:04:15,033
Get him, girl!
98
00:04:15,133 --> 00:04:16,167
No, no! No! No!
No!
99
00:04:16,267 --> 00:04:18,234
Get him!
100
00:04:18,334 --> 00:04:20,133
No! No!
101
00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:23,167
Who do I think is the father
of Clementine's baby?
102
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,133
I was looking
for the phone book.
103
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:29,667
I was just gonna go ...
Brrp!
104
00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:31,801
[ Laughing ]
105
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,501
He right about that,
106
00:04:37,601 --> 00:04:39,367
'cause there ain't
no telling, mnh-mnh.
107
00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:41,100
We have a phone book,
usually.
108
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,601
It would have been funnier.
109
00:04:47,601 --> 00:04:49,367
Hey.
110
00:04:49,467 --> 00:04:52,334
What in the Sam heck
you kids doing up here?
111
00:04:52,434 --> 00:04:55,667
You know you're not supposed to
be up here, right?
112
00:04:55,767 --> 00:04:56,934
You want to go to jail?
113
00:04:57,033 --> 00:04:58,234
You want to go?
114
00:04:58,334 --> 00:05:00,067
You want to go
to the Booty house?
115
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,133
'Cause we'll go.
116
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,334
We'll go, okay?
117
00:05:03,434 --> 00:05:06,000
So, what are you doing
up here for real?
118
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,667
Trying to jump over
onto the other roof.
119
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,834
You're trying to jump over
this ramp on your bike
120
00:05:11,934 --> 00:05:13,100
to the other roof?
121
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,767
Yeah.
122
00:05:17,968 --> 00:05:19,934
Oh, man.
123
00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:21,234
Oh, no!
124
00:05:21,334 --> 00:05:22,734
Hell, no!
125
00:05:22,834 --> 00:05:24,067
Whoo, that's a long way.
126
00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:25,701
You honestly believe
127
00:05:25,801 --> 00:05:27,901
you can just take that little
bike over that ramp,
128
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,434
across the other side?
129
00:05:29,534 --> 00:05:31,601
Yeah, I can make it.
I bet you I can make it.
130
00:05:31,701 --> 00:05:32,767
Oh, you bet ...
131
00:05:32,868 --> 00:05:33,934
He bets you.
132
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:36,300
Okay, Kenny Rogers,
Mr. Gambler.
133
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,834
I'll tell you what ... I got ...
Look at that ... I got $5.
134
00:05:38,934 --> 00:05:40,234
What do you got, Jones?
135
00:05:40,334 --> 00:05:41,901
I got ... what do I got?
I got $3.
136
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,901
You know what that is?
That's 8 ...
137
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,534
8 Reno, Nevada, washoe
county, American dollars
138
00:05:46,634 --> 00:05:48,834
that says you cannot jump
over that ramp
139
00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:50,634
and make it to the
other side.
140
00:05:50,734 --> 00:05:51,801
I'll take that bet.
141
00:05:51,901 --> 00:05:53,868
Whoo!
142
00:05:53,968 --> 00:05:57,133
Let's go!
Go! Go!
143
00:05:57,234 --> 00:06:00,567
Both: Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go!
144
00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:02,901
Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go!
145
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,200
Go! Go!
146
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:05,234
[ Thud ]
147
00:06:05,334 --> 00:06:06,367
Oh [Bleep]
148
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,234
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
149
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:10,000
Holy [Bleep]
150
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:11,400
[Bleep] [Bleep]
151
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:13,100
Go, go, go, go!
Should we call a medic?
152
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,000
No, hell, no.
They'll know we're here.
153
00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:26,200
Clemmy's unborn child is,
hopefully, gonna be a bastard,
154
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:27,901
because I'll tell you,
155
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,067
I've seen some of the men that
she's spent time with.
156
00:06:30,167 --> 00:06:36,434
And "a," half of them are not,
you know, white,
157
00:06:36,534 --> 00:06:38,634
and "b," the other half
158
00:06:38,734 --> 00:06:43,067
are no more than above
a fifth-grade education.
159
00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:44,767
[ Clinking ]
160
00:06:44,868 --> 00:06:46,868
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
excuse me,
161
00:06:46,968 --> 00:06:49,634
if I can interrupt your meals
for one second here?
162
00:06:49,734 --> 00:06:51,434
I know you don't know be,
163
00:06:51,534 --> 00:06:53,934
but I'm compelled to tell you
that I'm gonna be a daddy.
164
00:06:54,033 --> 00:06:55,000
Whoo!
165
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,334
I'm the new dad.
166
00:06:56,434 --> 00:06:57,868
Thank you, thank you.
167
00:06:57,968 --> 00:06:59,901
Cheers.
168
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,200
Mmm.
169
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,467
Mmm.
170
00:07:03,567 --> 00:07:06,400
You know
it isn't yours, right?
171
00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:07,767
Check.
172
00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:14,834
Okeydoke,
it is 1600 hours,
173
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:19,334
and we are staking out the
hotel room of Luis Hernandez,
174
00:07:19,434 --> 00:07:21,200
known drug trafficker.
175
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:22,701
We got a little heads-up
176
00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:24,501
he's got a deal going
down here, and, uh...
177
00:07:24,601 --> 00:07:26,267
How long
we been here, dangle?
178
00:07:26,367 --> 00:07:28,901
We've been here three hours
and one quarter.
179
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,534
Damn.
It does not fly.
180
00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:32,834
Yeah.
181
00:07:32,934 --> 00:07:35,567
Gimme those for a second.
Check out room 6.
182
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,367
We're supposed to be
watching room 5.
183
00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:38,801
No, I know.
I know.
184
00:07:38,901 --> 00:07:40,133
Room 5 ...
He's not doing anything.
185
00:07:40,234 --> 00:07:41,834
Oh, my [Bleep] God!
186
00:07:41,934 --> 00:07:43,767
What?
That's Leonard Nimoy.
187
00:07:43,868 --> 00:07:46,000
You're supposed to keep the
camera on this guy over here.
188
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,734
Here, I'll put this one
over here.
189
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,467
That is not Leonard Nimoy.
190
00:07:49,567 --> 00:07:51,667
Why would Leonard Nimoy be
staying at a place like this?
191
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,267
He's keeping a low profile.
192
00:07:53,367 --> 00:07:55,534
Leonard Nimoy's already got
a low profile,
193
00:07:55,634 --> 00:07:57,167
'cause he's Leonard Nimoy.
194
00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:59,367
That's about as low-profile
as you can get,
195
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:02,133
unless, maybe, you're that kid
who played Chachi.
196
00:08:02,234 --> 00:08:04,334
Like, that's ... that's low.
197
00:08:04,434 --> 00:08:07,567
You're comparing Mr. Spock
to Chachi?
198
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:08,868
Chachi's not an icon.
199
00:08:08,968 --> 00:08:10,601
There aren't
Chachi conventions.
200
00:08:10,701 --> 00:08:13,267
He and Chachi should be
on the same [Bleep] TV show.
201
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,868
If they were doing some kind
of "remember the '70s,"
202
00:08:15,968 --> 00:08:17,667
then both of them
would be on it.
203
00:08:17,767 --> 00:08:19,434
It would be like,
"hey, Chachi,
204
00:08:19,534 --> 00:08:21,334
why don't you shake hands
with Dr. Spock?"
205
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,300
Oh [Bleep] he's checking
the door again.
206
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,834
Oh [Bleep]
207
00:08:24,934 --> 00:08:26,601
No, no, nothing.
208
00:08:26,701 --> 00:08:27,767
No.
209
00:08:27,868 --> 00:08:30,434
I thought we had
some drug-deal action.
210
00:08:30,534 --> 00:08:31,868
No, screw that.
211
00:08:31,968 --> 00:08:33,734
The only person here
who's having an okay time
212
00:08:33,834 --> 00:08:34,834
is Leonard Nimoy.
213
00:08:34,934 --> 00:08:35,734
That is not Leonard Nimoy.
214
00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:36,901
It is.
215
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,234
The question ...
Who is Clemmy's baby
216
00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:41,501
is like the million-dollar
question.
217
00:08:41,601 --> 00:08:43,901
It's like the question
of the century.
218
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,467
It's like "who shot J.R.?"
219
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:46,634
In what way?
220
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,567
It could be ...
It could be anybody.
221
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:51,701
Well, J.R., it was only
a very limited number of people
222
00:08:51,801 --> 00:08:53,133
who could have shot J.R.
223
00:08:53,234 --> 00:08:55,334
But "Dallas" ...
"Dallas" was huge.
224
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:56,667
Do you know how huge?
225
00:08:56,767 --> 00:08:58,334
Yeah, but the show "Dallas"
226
00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:00,934
wasn't about every single
person in Dallas.
227
00:09:01,033 --> 00:09:03,000
It was about
the ewing family.
228
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:06,300
It wasn't like that was a cast
of ... what ... 2.5 million?
229
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,567
You saw the ewing family,
and that was it.
230
00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:11,067
So "who shot J.R.?" was
basically three people.
231
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:14,801
Okay, the question at hand is,
who tapped Clemmy?
232
00:09:14,901 --> 00:09:15,901
You.
233
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,801
Yes.
234
00:09:17,901 --> 00:09:19,801
Some of you may
or may not know,
235
00:09:19,901 --> 00:09:22,434
prostitution is legal
in the state of Nevada.
236
00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:24,367
That would, of course,
cover Reno.
237
00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:25,901
So right now,
238
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,367
we're pulling up to a place
called the chicken hole,
239
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:30,868
an establishment
run by our friend Claire.
240
00:09:30,968 --> 00:09:33,400
You'd think the things
that they do in here
241
00:09:33,501 --> 00:09:34,701
would relax somebody,
242
00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:36,601
but it has
the opposite effect.
243
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:37,667
How you doing?
244
00:09:37,767 --> 00:09:38,868
Hey, come on in.
245
00:09:38,968 --> 00:09:41,100
What's going on today,
sweetie?
246
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,300
Honest to God, I swear
to Christ, I don't know.
247
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,968
I didn't call.
The faggot upstairs called.
248
00:09:47,067 --> 00:09:49,267
I called you this time.
I called you this time.
249
00:09:49,367 --> 00:09:51,300
The shoe's on the other foot.
Check this out.
250
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,334
Check this out.
251
00:09:52,434 --> 00:09:54,767
[ Shouting indistinctly ]
252
00:09:54,868 --> 00:09:56,567
Hey, Jones, get over here!
253
00:09:56,667 --> 00:09:58,667
What?
I'm talking to Patty.
254
00:09:58,767 --> 00:10:00,234
Let me show you something.
255
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:01,901
All right, look,
let me just tell you ...
256
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,634
I just finished
my lovemaking.
257
00:10:03,734 --> 00:10:05,300
I just did my lovemaking
over there, all right?
258
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:06,968
I want to clean myself off.
259
00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:08,601
I want to take a shower,
so I can be respectable.
260
00:10:08,701 --> 00:10:10,434
I walk in here, look at this ...
Look, look, look ...
261
00:10:10,534 --> 00:10:11,968
There's not a sign in here
262
00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:14,100
that says, "employees
must wash hands."
263
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,567
That's state of Nevada law!
264
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:17,000
Claire: That's because
265
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,367
it's a whorehouse,
you [Bleep] [Bleep]
266
00:10:18,467 --> 00:10:19,801
You still got to
be clean whores!
267
00:10:19,901 --> 00:10:21,634
You got a point,
but you're loud.
268
00:10:21,734 --> 00:10:23,534
How many times you been here,
Andrew ... 25, 26?
269
00:10:23,634 --> 00:10:25,667
Today, you're gonna complain
about the shower?
270
00:10:25,767 --> 00:10:28,167
And today's the day that you
complain about the damn ...
271
00:10:28,267 --> 00:10:29,834
It's been brewing.
272
00:10:29,934 --> 00:10:32,200
Because I'm thinking about
myself. I'm thinking today.
273
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,000
I'm finishing my lovemaking.
I got my juices all over me.
274
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,934
I got my male juices, I got
the female juices on me.
275
00:10:36,033 --> 00:10:37,434
When you blink,
you got juices.
276
00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:38,934
There's juices everywhere.
277
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:40,300
So I got to clean those
juices off,
278
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,901
but when I walk in here,
279
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,634
I see that no one else is
cleaning their juice,
280
00:10:43,734 --> 00:10:45,567
I'm like, "my God,
I'm making love in juice."
281
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:46,934
Let me tell you something ...
282
00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,467
No, no, no, pitiful.
283
00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:50,434
If you want to wash,
go to a K.O.A. kampground
284
00:10:50,534 --> 00:10:52,200
and pay a quarter
for a [Bleep] shower.
285
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:53,934
Oh, she says, "thank you."
286
00:10:54,033 --> 00:10:55,834
I get that reference.
Shut the [Bleep] up, bitch!
287
00:10:55,934 --> 00:10:58,400
You want a shower?
Let's get a shower.
288
00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:00,634
Come on.
Let's get you a shower.
289
00:11:00,734 --> 00:11:03,434
There's your [Bleep] shower.
There you go.
290
00:11:03,534 --> 00:11:06,734
Give me your arm.
291
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,567
You know what?
I'll walk out on my own.
292
00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:10,033
Ladies,
call your congressmen!
293
00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:13,968
Boo! Boo! Boo!
294
00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:16,934
Ladies, call your congressmen!
Boo!
295
00:11:21,567 --> 00:11:22,801
I don't know
296
00:11:22,901 --> 00:11:25,267
if Clementine Johnson
can be a good mom.
297
00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:27,400
That's a hearty adjective
for that woman.
298
00:11:27,501 --> 00:11:29,033
Hell, no.
299
00:11:29,133 --> 00:11:31,868
To be honest, if she don't have
a paternal figure in her life,
300
00:11:31,968 --> 00:11:33,601
that baby's just gonna run
around naked,
301
00:11:33,701 --> 00:11:35,267
peeing on everything.
302
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:38,200
It's basically gonna be like
a stray cat, you know,
303
00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:40,601
that just pees on all
the furniture.
304
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,968
I think
she's gonna need some help.
305
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:47,868
All right, um, I'll go with the,
uh, vegetarian pizza
306
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:50,100
and quesadilla ... chicken.
307
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:54,934
She will have something
of less than or equal value.
308
00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:59,734
Uh, just, uh,
popcorn chicken, I guess.
309
00:11:59,834 --> 00:12:02,634
Yeah, I'm in a bad spot.
310
00:12:02,734 --> 00:12:04,267
Yeah, I know you are,
311
00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:07,434
and I-I happen to think
it's a good spot.
312
00:12:07,534 --> 00:12:11,000
I sure would, uh, jump
at this great opportunity
313
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,767
to, you know, be a dad.
314
00:12:12,868 --> 00:12:14,300
Oh.
315
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,834
I just, uh ...
Uh, sorry about that.
316
00:12:17,934 --> 00:12:20,734
I just ... I think I'm good
with kids
317
00:12:20,834 --> 00:12:25,100
and got a couple of houseplants
that have never died, so...
318
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,167
Well, that is sweet.
I appreciate that.
319
00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:34,000
Um, you are pretty high up
on my list of people
320
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:38,968
that I will be asking
to be a candidate
321
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:45,267
for, uh, marriage or,
you know, being my baby's dad.
322
00:12:45,367 --> 00:12:48,667
Um, there's a few people
before you on that list.
323
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:49,901
Okay.
324
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,067
Let me contact those people.
325
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:54,100
And if nothing works out,
326
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,367
then I will consider
what you're saying,
327
00:12:57,467 --> 00:13:00,133
and I will, uh,
get back to you.
328
00:13:00,234 --> 00:13:04,100
Oh, sure, I'm willing to put
that in writing, too.
329
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,100
I'll send you an e-mail.
330
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,100
Let me let you know.
I'll let you know.
331
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,167
Okay.
332
00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:11,100
You are out
of your [Bleep] mind.
333
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,567
That is not Leonard Nimoy.
334
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:13,934
It is.
335
00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:16,100
It is. Stop saying it isn't,
because it is.
336
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,701
That is not Leonard Nimoy.
337
00:13:17,801 --> 00:13:19,567
Why don't we go ask?
Why don't just we go ask?
338
00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:20,567
Go. You ask.
339
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:21,901
I will.
340
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,667
You're the one who thinks
he's Leonard Nimoy.
341
00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:25,000
Oh, hey, will you keep
an eye on 5?
342
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,634
Just watch the thing,
and if it runs out of tape,
343
00:13:26,734 --> 00:13:28,133
you just got to switch
the tape.
344
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,033
Hey.
345
00:13:31,133 --> 00:13:32,033
Hi.
Hi.
346
00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:33,200
How you doing?
347
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,400
Doing okay.
Am I in trouble?
348
00:13:35,501 --> 00:13:38,033
You're not Leonard Nimoy,
are you?
349
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:39,033
Oh, no.
350
00:13:39,133 --> 00:13:41,200
Oh, that's what I said!
351
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,868
Oh, man.
I just lost $35.
352
00:13:43,968 --> 00:13:45,667
You look so much like
Leonard Nimoy,
353
00:13:45,767 --> 00:13:47,334
it's, like, not even funny.
354
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:49,100
Yeah, he thought that you
were the real deal.
355
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,801
I swear, I swear, I swear.
356
00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:52,634
I thought you were just
absolutely Leonard Nimoy.
357
00:13:52,734 --> 00:13:54,033
Where were you guys?
358
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:56,033
Yeah, we're doing
a stakeout over there.
359
00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:58,167
Do people tell you you look
like Leonard Nimoy?
360
00:13:58,267 --> 00:14:00,067
People must say it
every day.
361
00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:02,367
Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, well,
that's why I'm here in town.
362
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,234
I'm, like, a look-alike
that does conventions.
363
00:14:04,334 --> 00:14:05,834
"Star trek" conventions.
364
00:14:05,934 --> 00:14:08,501
Okay, you were part right.
You were half right.
365
00:14:08,601 --> 00:14:09,734
See, I was very ...
366
00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:11,634
No, it ain't him.
It ain't ...
367
00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:13,067
It's not Leonard Nimoy.
368
00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:15,334
We got a camera crew
and everything.
369
00:14:15,434 --> 00:14:16,534
He's waving at us.
370
00:14:16,634 --> 00:14:17,834
His name is Stu.
371
00:14:17,934 --> 00:14:19,901
Yeah, stop waving at us.
We see you.
372
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,167
How you doing?
373
00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:23,334
Is that like that "cops"
or something?
374
00:14:23,434 --> 00:14:25,000
Yeah, it's like a TV thing.
375
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:27,968
Like a vérité kind of ...
Just heroes on patrol.
376
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:31,868
Do you think you can get us into
this convention that's in town?
377
00:14:31,968 --> 00:14:33,167
Hey, yeah.
378
00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:35,534
I think I can do it.
It's 75 bucks to get in.
379
00:14:35,634 --> 00:14:37,834
I think what I could do
for you guys is make sure ...
380
00:14:37,934 --> 00:14:40,267
Well, you know what I'll do is,
like, I'll tell them ...
381
00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:41,934
'Cause I get one.
I get one comp.
382
00:14:42,033 --> 00:14:43,367
Can we just say
we're with Stu?
383
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:44,667
Say you're with Stu...
384
00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:45,901
I'll get you the comp
some way.
385
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,267
We can work that out.
386
00:14:47,367 --> 00:14:49,167
[ Engine revving ]
387
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:50,434
What is that?
388
00:14:50,534 --> 00:14:52,801
That sounds
like a leaf-blower.
389
00:14:52,901 --> 00:14:54,734
Somebody's blowing leaves.
390
00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:57,667
I think they should have
an ordinance.
391
00:14:57,767 --> 00:14:59,234
They did an ordinance,
392
00:14:59,334 --> 00:15:01,234
but I still see people with
gas blowers out there,
393
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,634
you know what I mean?
394
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:04,200
Oh, I'll get you the comp
some way ...
395
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,100
75 bucks for 2 of you
instead of one.
396
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,868
Say we're looking for Stu,
397
00:15:07,968 --> 00:15:09,601
and then maybe we can get
a beer or something, too?
398
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,267
Yeah, I'd like that.
399
00:15:11,367 --> 00:15:13,667
We can also show you Reno.
Reno can be a very fun town.
400
00:15:13,767 --> 00:15:15,467
I feel like a celebrity
or something.
401
00:15:15,567 --> 00:15:17,000
Yeah, well,
you look like one.
402
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:18,300
Good morning.
403
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,300
I'm, uh ...
My name's Kevin Donnelly.
404
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,267
I'm moving in next door.
405
00:15:23,367 --> 00:15:25,367
I just thought I'd come by
406
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:29,167
and kind of tell you
a little bit about myself.
407
00:15:29,267 --> 00:15:35,400
I'm a, uh, divorced...
408
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:38,901
I'm looking ... in between jobs
right now,
409
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,834
somewhat of a foodie,
a gourmand,
410
00:15:41,934 --> 00:15:43,667
a convicted sex offender.
411
00:15:43,767 --> 00:15:49,234
I play ... I-I play
chess not very well.
412
00:15:49,334 --> 00:15:50,534
No, back up to the...
413
00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:51,834
The other thing?
414
00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:53,667
Yeah, that's really why
we're here.
415
00:15:53,767 --> 00:15:55,934
I am a foodie,
and so, I cook a lot ...
416
00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:57,200
No, no, no.
417
00:15:57,300 --> 00:16:01,267
Don't be cute, Kevin.
418
00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:05,200
Uh, I am a convicted sex
offender, whatever that means.
419
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:06,501
Right.
420
00:16:06,601 --> 00:16:09,133
The court has said
that he needs to go around
421
00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:12,000
and get these signatures
just to know ... just so ...
422
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:14,200
It's total ...
It's a formality.
423
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:15,601
It just says, "a"...
424
00:16:15,701 --> 00:16:17,367
For your protection, ma'am.
425
00:16:17,467 --> 00:16:20,334
In fairness, it's for both
of our protection.
426
00:16:20,434 --> 00:16:23,000
So, this sheet of paper
basically says,
427
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:26,000
you stay on your lawn,
and I'll stay on mine.
428
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:28,434
No, that's not what the ...
The piece of paper says
429
00:16:28,534 --> 00:16:30,767
you got a pervert moving
into the neighborhood.
430
00:16:30,868 --> 00:16:33,901
I feel like you're
putting, uh, your spin
431
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,400
on sex offenders.
432
00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:43,734
I do not know if Clemmy's
gonna be a good mom.
433
00:16:43,834 --> 00:16:47,734
I think, uh, I think Clemmy
having a little daughter
434
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:51,133
is like a "Jerry Springer"
episode just waiting to happen,
435
00:16:51,234 --> 00:16:53,000
but I do think that in 18 years,
436
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,501
that is gonna be one hell
of a tag team.
437
00:16:55,601 --> 00:16:57,234
One hell of a tag team.
438
00:16:57,334 --> 00:16:58,367
Whew.
439
00:16:58,467 --> 00:16:59,467
Whoo-whoo!
440
00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:01,367
Hope I'm still around.
441
00:17:01,467 --> 00:17:02,501
Yeah. Whoo!
442
00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:04,667
Um...
443
00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:06,467
How you doing?
444
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,801
Hi, my name's Kevin.
445
00:17:08,901 --> 00:17:13,767
I'm moving in next door.
I'm a "convicted sex offender."
446
00:17:13,868 --> 00:17:16,133
Can you sign this, please?
447
00:17:16,234 --> 00:17:19,067
Here's my thing.
448
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:21,734
I see the van.
449
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:23,367
I live right next door.
450
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:25,267
I don't want to have to be
looking at your van
451
00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:27,200
parked in the driveway
every time I get up.
452
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,300
You have a garage.
453
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,934
The city asked me to come by
454
00:17:30,033 --> 00:17:32,567
'cause they're asking
everybody, all my neighbors,
455
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:33,601
to sign this.
456
00:17:33,701 --> 00:17:34,934
And it's standard.
457
00:17:35,033 --> 00:17:36,901
You know, it just says
I'm moving in,
458
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,501
you know that I'm moving in,
459
00:17:38,601 --> 00:17:40,667
'cause I'm a convicted
sex offender,
460
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:44,133
and you're good with that,
and so, uh...
461
00:17:44,234 --> 00:17:48,200
And, you know, also, you can
indicate your level of ...
462
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,133
If you're psyched or not.
463
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:51,667
This might be ...
464
00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:55,067
You know, feel free to say no
to this question ...
465
00:17:55,167 --> 00:18:00,667
What, uh...
466
00:18:00,767 --> 00:18:03,267
What time do you get off?
467
00:18:03,367 --> 00:18:07,634
So, listen, um, you know,
I brought you here
468
00:18:07,734 --> 00:18:11,567
because I had something
important to ask you.
469
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:15,133
Um, you know I'm in kind
of a spot right now.
470
00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:18,934
And, uh, I got myself
in a position
471
00:18:19,033 --> 00:18:20,868
where I really need
some help.
472
00:18:20,968 --> 00:18:24,801
And, um, I'm really kind of
running out of options here.
473
00:18:24,901 --> 00:18:28,300
I was just wondering
if you had any interest
474
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,467
in maybe marrying me and being
the father of my child.
475
00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,300
You know, so, how about it?
476
00:18:36,601 --> 00:18:38,534
Of course!
477
00:18:38,634 --> 00:18:40,701
Why didn't you ask me first?
478
00:18:40,801 --> 00:18:43,334
Oh, I was hoping
you would ask!
479
00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:44,501
Oh, God!
480
00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:47,000
You heard what
I asked you, right?
481
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:49,133
Oh, I know, I know.
I was hoping you would ask.
482
00:18:49,234 --> 00:18:50,734
Do you know how happy
this will make my mother?
483
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:57,801
[ Laughter ]
484
00:18:57,901 --> 00:19:00,834
No, that's a different ...
No, that's more ...
485
00:19:00,934 --> 00:19:03,567
What's that thing?
Highly illogical.
486
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:05,100
Rae Rae: He is good.
487
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,567
Trudy:
I've never seen the show.
488
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,400
I've never seen the show.
489
00:19:09,501 --> 00:19:12,534
[ Clearing throat ]
490
00:19:12,634 --> 00:19:18,534
Uh...Guess who's not
having a baby!
491
00:19:18,634 --> 00:19:20,467
Hey!
All right!
492
00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:22,567
Very good, very good.
493
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:24,033
I am not having a baby.
494
00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:25,434
Man, that is so great.
495
00:19:25,534 --> 00:19:26,501
Congratulations.
496
00:19:26,601 --> 00:19:28,100
Isn't that great?
497
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,968
It turns out it was just
an abscess in my lady regions.
498
00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:34,000
They drained it today.
Everything is cool.
499
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,501
I'm ready to drink.
500
00:19:35,601 --> 00:19:37,734
Pete, gin and tonic
for Clemmy.
501
00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:38,968
Thanks, Pete.
502
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:44,100
Wow. Thank you so much.
Thank you.
503
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,067
Hey, dangle, next time.
504
00:19:46,167 --> 00:19:47,100
Next time.
505
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,000
Next time.
Next time.
506
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,000
Here's to Clemmy's
giant cyst.
507
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,100
Yes, yes, thank you.
508
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,400
Hear, hear.
509
00:19:53,501 --> 00:19:55,601
I had a ... I had a chocolate
cyst removed,
510
00:19:55,701 --> 00:19:57,634
and they don't get it ...
They can't get it all.
511
00:19:57,734 --> 00:19:58,934
Okay.
512
00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:00,868
Plus the gas that they have
to shoot in your belly
513
00:20:00,968 --> 00:20:02,868
makes your belly distended
for a while.
514
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,334
You're gonna be having some
gas for a little while.
515
00:20:05,434 --> 00:20:08,033
Stu, I should explain.
Wiegel's [Bleep] crazy.
516
00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:09,100
Yeah.
517
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,200
Oh.
518
00:20:14,901 --> 00:20:18,667
Get your weed, boy.
519
00:20:18,767 --> 00:20:21,167
2...3.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
520
00:20:21,267 --> 00:20:23,634
Early lead!
No! Yes!
521
00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:24,767
Whoo!
522
00:20:24,868 --> 00:20:25,767
Ooh!
523
00:20:25,868 --> 00:20:28,000
Whoo!
524
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:30,200
[ Laughing ]
525
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:31,767
Sorry, mom.
526
00:20:31,868 --> 00:20:34,701
I love you, mommy.
I love you!
527
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:36,167
[ Laughing ]
528
00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:40,300
That's a game we used to play
when I was little.
529
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,934
Watch this.
Watch this.
530
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:44,167
Find the sloppy Joe!
Find the sloppy Joe!
531
00:20:44,267 --> 00:20:48,701
Yeah! Yeah!
Good dog. Good dog.
532
00:20:48,801 --> 00:20:50,334
Stay there.
533
00:20:50,434 --> 00:20:52,501
Wasn't hidden too hard, but, uh,
he found it, though, right?
534
00:20:52,601 --> 00:20:53,534
Hey, good dog.
535
00:20:53,634 --> 00:20:55,000
Mmm.
536
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:09,334
Oh, God.
537
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:10,734
No.
538
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:13,734
This shoulder's lower than
this shoulder, right?
539
00:21:13,834 --> 00:21:15,100
Yeah, I can see that.
540
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,434
Yes, it is a little bit
misaligned.
541
00:21:17,534 --> 00:21:18,767
Oh, come on.
542
00:21:18,868 --> 00:21:21,000
Let's not ... let's not
see your scoliosis.
543
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:24,000
If you could come to my office
in about an hour and a half,
544
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,767
I'd be glad to give you
a full workup.
545
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:26,801
Thank you.
546
00:21:26,901 --> 00:21:28,467
I just had one two days ago,
547
00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:30,801
but you always got to be
on top of it.
548
00:21:30,901 --> 00:21:32,334
Did ... did your test ...
549
00:21:32,434 --> 00:21:34,934
Can it show if an adult
woman is retarded?
550
00:21:34,984 --> 00:21:39,534
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