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1
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:39,695
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today...
2
00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:43,633
to join in holy matrimony
these two frauds!
3
00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:47,934
This whole thing stinks, Holt.
4
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:51,807
The only reason you're marrying Steele
is to keep him from being deported.
5
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:56,405
This marriage is a sham,
the groom's a phony, and I'm gonna prove it.
6
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,119
Don't you just love weddings?
7
00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:13,165
I just hope I can get this one
to stand up in my report.
8
00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:17,696
How are we gonna
keep this up for two years?
9
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,034
By being the happiest
married couple in America.
10
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,938
But we're not really married,
you conniving con man!
11
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,274
This is the worst day of my life.
12
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,990
This is the worst day of my life.
13
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:43,187
Laura? Laura?
14
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:48,297
Laura!
15
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:54,304
Where were you?
16
00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:56,602
Closer to hell than I've ever been.
17
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:12,356
I spoke too soon.
18
00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:17,089
- There we go.
- Oh, how romantic.
19
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,028
Yes.
20
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:21,726
- I'll see what I can rustle up in the kitchen.
- Cervezas.
21
00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:25,827
What a lovely apartment this is, Mr. Steele.
22
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,873
Is this where the two of you
are planning to live?
23
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,441
- Yes.
- No.
24
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,505
- No.
- Yes.
25
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:36,013
Actually, yes and no.
We're gonna live here...
26
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,811
but we're gonna redo
the entire place, yeah...
27
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:42,217
now that Laura's
the little woman.
28
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:46,759
Mmm! Yeah, she's got
definite ideas about the decor.
29
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:48,952
I'm very partial to Scotch plaid.
30
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,494
That's a wonderful suggestion.
Yes, yes.
31
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:58,037
Add a bit of color to these
drab old bachelor digs, eh?
32
00:03:58,137 --> 00:04:00,128
What do you think, my love?
33
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:04,566
- I think I'll freshen up a bit.
- Mmm.
34
00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:07,043
Mmm.
Good idea.
35
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,519
Thinkin' about the Scotch plaid?
36
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:51,613
Don't you ever call me
the "little woman" again.
37
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:54,454
Merely a figure of speech, Laura.
38
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,496
I am not your little woman.
I'm not anybody's little woman.
39
00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:02,625
If we're gonna look married,
we have to act married.
40
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:05,465
If that means making goo-goo sounds
and mooning over Scotch plaid...
41
00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,937
every time someone's around,
let's forget it.
42
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,942
Laura- Laura, look.
You're tired.
43
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,944
You're-You're-
And you're absolutely-
44
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,480
I mean, you're filthy, and, um-
45
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:21,212
You smell like a crab salad. Take a bath
in there. You'll feel much better.
46
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:25,621
Just don't use my razor on your legs.
It nicks the blades.
47
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:28,285
- Good idea.
- You're going the wrong way.
48
00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,419
I'm going home...
49
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:34,296
to take a bath in my tub,
to nick my razors.
50
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:42,598
Plenty of time for that just as soon as
we convince our immigration lady out there...
51
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:46,338
that we're sincerely
and irrevocably married.
52
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:49,506
Why did I ever agree to this?
53
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,674
Because you don't wanna
see me deported.
54
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:59,183
You don't want
to see me deported, do you?
55
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:00,850
I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.
56
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,054
Laura, if you remember, I didn't wanna
get you involved in this charade.
57
00:06:04,163 --> 00:06:06,097
You volunteered.
58
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,191
I know.
59
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:12,965
That was always my problem,
even as a child.
60
00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:17,634
I had my hand up for every
thankless task, every dirty job.
61
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,736
Eager little Laura,
first in line to please.
62
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:24,374
Look, I know it's not gonna be easy
or particularly enjoyable.
63
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:27,248
However, somehow,
we'll get through it.
64
00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:32,052
After all, we carried off the myth of
Remington Steele's existence for all these years.
65
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:36,094
So a simple thing like a bogus marriage
should be a piece of cake.
66
00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:40,063
Look on the bright side.
After a couple of years, we can get a divorce.
67
00:06:42,101 --> 00:06:45,332
Now you're talking.
68
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:49,807
In case I haven't
said it before, thank you.
69
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,937
Okay.
70
00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:56,981
Let's go out and talk Scotch plaid.
71
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,551
But if anybody gives me a silver pattern,
I'm going to cream them.
72
00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:02,246
That's my little woman- trouper.
73
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:05,916
Hmm?
Remember, hap-hap-happy.
74
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:13,728
- Congratulations!
- Thank you.
75
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:16,267
Do we have any more beer?
'Cause we're running dangerously low.
76
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:19,167
No, I'm sorry. Listen, Juan,
do you know "The Party's Over"?
77
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,740
- who?
- Don't worry. I'll send you the sheet music.
78
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:24,275
- Guys, here's the door right over here.
- Mas cervezas.
79
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:26,470
No mas cervezas.
Okay, senor.
80
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,672
Okay, well, it's been really lovely.
81
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:31,477
- Ah!
- Yeah, there you go.
82
00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:38,883
A wedding present.
83
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,625
Oh. You shouldn't have.
84
00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:49,657
Every time we look at it,
we'll think of you.
85
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:52,636
I'd invite you in, Keyes,
but I just had the carpet cleaned.
86
00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:56,003
You're still crackin'jokes, huh, Steele?
Well, let me tell you something.
87
00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:59,373
I'm in the last laugh business,
and I'm gonna have it on all of you.
88
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,175
This farce you call a marriage...
89
00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:05,045
is gonna cost you five years
in the federal pen...
90
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:08,120
and your investigator's license
and your job.
91
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:13,022
So just keep listenin', pretty boy, because
that's me you're gonna hear laughin'...
92
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:16,492
when you're on your way
to Leavenworth.
93
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:19,656
It's a party favor.
Now, vamoose. Vamoose.
94
00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:22,063
- Adios.
- Adios.
95
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,535
Adios, amigos.
Adios. Thank you.
96
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:29,768
- That man is despicable!
- I could take a bat to that pi�ata head of his.
97
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:33,505
Now, it's okay. No need to let
Keyes ruin such a joyous occasion.
98
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:36,081
So if you don't mind,
Mrs. Steele and I...
99
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,980
- would like to get a jump on our honeymoon activities.
- Where are you going?
100
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:42,077
- Going?
- On your honeymoon.
101
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:47,125
- Um- - Well, uh, we haven't
actually made any specific plans.
102
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:50,423
Yeah, we thought we'd just
let the spirit move us, you know?
103
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:54,193
You heard Keyes.
The man is relentless.
104
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,360
He has raised such a stink
about this marriage...
105
00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,802
that my superiors
are breathing down my neck...
106
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:03,069
which means I'm gonna be
looking over your shoulder.
107
00:09:03,175 --> 00:09:06,167
Now, I recommend you have
this honeymoon right away, Mr. Steele.
108
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,543
And take lots of pictures.
109
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:12,109
- I got it.
- What?
110
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,449
- That's my wedding present.
- No, Mildred. No, no, no.
111
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,581
I said the honeymoon is on me.
112
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:37,005
Remind me to give Mildred a raise
when we get back from Mexico.
113
00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:41,876
I'm certain it's just
a small problem in communication.
114
00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:45,439
- Excuse me, miss?
- Seafood surprise, or chunky beef?
115
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:52,016
Actually, there-There seems to be
a mix-up in our seating.
116
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:55,252
Are there any openings
in first class?
117
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:58,888
I will check, but I doubt
there were any cancellations.
118
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:01,159
Don't say that word.
119
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:05,533
Never mind.
It's a sore subject.
120
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,882
I thought Mildred said
there'd be a limousine waiting for us.
121
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,786
Oh, there we are, I think.
122
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:29,289
Hello. I believe
you're looking for us.
123
00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:35,667
Um, Steele.
We are Steele.
124
00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:37,759
- Uh-huh.
- �Comprende?
125
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:40,134
S�.
126
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:43,208
It's all right.
We'll get the bags. Don't worry.
127
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:47,609
Well, I certainly hope
the limousine's nicer than the driver.
128
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,893
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
129
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:49,600
Paul Newman, Robert Redford.
20th Century Fox, 1969.
130
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,677
What about it?
131
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:55,406
This looks exactly like the place
where Butch and Sundance died.
132
00:11:55,514 --> 00:12:00,110
Mr. Steele,
now is not the time for nostalgia.
133
00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:10,856
S�.
134
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,998
Laura, why are all those people-
135
00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:30,966
Malvados.
136
00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:34,341
- What's a malvado?
- I'm not sure.
137
00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:37,040
But I don't think it's good.
138
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:41,415
Somehow, I never imagined
our honeymoon any other way.
139
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:22,383
Remind me to fire Mildred
if we ever survive this.
140
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:25,088
- Take a number.
- Oh, boy.
141
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:30,166
Oh, boy.
142
00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:45,981
- Buenos d�as, se�ores.
- Hi.
143
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:49,111
- You are the Steeles, no?
- Yes. How did you know?
144
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:54,352
We have been expecting you.
Welcome to the Hotel of Love.
145
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:58,021
- Sign, please.
- The Hotel of Love?
146
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,928
There are, uh,
telephones in the rooms, I trust?
147
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,399
Oh, no, se�or.
148
00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:07,598
- Oh.
- Then where is the nearest phone?
149
00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:10,266
- Las Hadas.
- Uh-huh. And where's that?
150
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,901
- Thirty miles.
- Thirty miles?
151
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:22,884
You have the penthouse suite.
Enjoy.
152
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:25,821
What's that?
153
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,825
Mosquito netting?
154
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,896
Every jungle has mosquitoes.
155
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:17,765
Okay. Okay.
156
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:29,281
All right.
157
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:35,026
Okay.
158
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:17,662
Peso for your thoughts.
159
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,307
- Nothing.
- Oh.
160
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:32,048
I was just thinking why
we put up with all this...
161
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:35,917
why it never seems
to get any easier.
162
00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:41,857
You mean why we just don't give up
and, uh, go our separate ways?
163
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,396
Have any answers?
164
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,727
I, uh- I don't think
you wanna get into that.
165
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:50,301
Try me.
166
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:54,463
Okay.
167
00:17:57,376 --> 00:18:00,140
Why do we always draw
the line at the bedroom door?
168
00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:06,374
I don't know.
169
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:10,421
I guess the timing's
never been quite right.
170
00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:14,117
When one of us was ready,
the other wasn't.
171
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:16,888
But haven't we been
avoiding it...
172
00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:19,759
afraid of what comes
after that magical moment?
173
00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:22,493
What does come after?
174
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,468
I don't know.
175
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,941
That's the scary part.
176
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,034
Mm-hmm.
177
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,977
But we're never gonna know
unless we take a risk.
178
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:40,779
You mean, let the chips
fall where they may?
179
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:43,184
- Be bold.
- Rise to the occasion.
180
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:47,748
- Up periscope.
- You've convinced me.
181
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,828
Mmm.
182
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:09,038
Mm-hmm.
And you've convinced me.
183
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:15,646
Maybe this honeymoon will turn out
to be a blessing in disguise after all.
184
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:18,882
- There's just one slight problem.
- Naturally.
185
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:22,654
With all due respect
to the Hotel del Amor...
186
00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:27,027
we've waited far too long not to capture
the moment in a more worthy setting.
187
00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:34,862
If Las Hadas has telephones,
it must have other amenities.
188
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:40,170
I'll get the bags.
189
00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:43,737
- I'll check us out.
- Mmm.
190
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,749
72,000 pesos?
191
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,649
That's ridiculous! We haven't even
been here 20 minutes.
192
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:52,383
Sorry, se�ora,
but we've had to turn people away.
193
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:55,688
- Obviously, the lucky ones.
- Now, look here, senor amigo.
194
00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:59,821
What exactly is 72,000 pesos
in American dollars?
195
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,400
At the current rate
of exchange...
196
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,672
about a hundred bucks.
197
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,537
Pay the man.
198
00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:13,076
Here you go.
There.
199
00:20:13,178 --> 00:20:14,941
Ah, s�.
200
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:18,608
Karl Malden.
Don't leave home without him.
201
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,015
Sorry, amigo.
No plastic.
202
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,253
- Give him a traveler's check.
- Sorry.
203
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:28,383
No paper.
Only pesos.
204
00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:31,394
- I told you to get pesos at the airport.
- I know.
205
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:35,933
- But, no, you wanted a better rate at the bank.
- Would you calm down!
206
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:39,800
I want us out of here for
the same reason you do, remember?
207
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,601
Okay, uh, look.
208
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,801
We'll leave our luggage
as collateral, okay?
209
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,969
And if you don't come back?
210
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,876
- You keep it.
- Yeah.
211
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:52,473
I don't do much traveling.
212
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:56,486
- What about his watch?
- What about her?
213
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,954
What about her?
214
00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:00,991
I think you'll come back for her.
215
00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:06,894
- Well-
- What do you mean, "well"?
216
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:09,433
I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.
217
00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:14,164
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
Okay, of course I'll come back for you.
218
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,764
- When does the bus leave?
- 5:00.
219
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,968
- 5:00? Great.
- Thursday.
220
00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:22,103
- Thursday?
- But you are in luck.
221
00:21:33,258 --> 00:21:37,957
Isn't it dangerous out there?
What about the malvados?
222
00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:43,091
They only come out when the bus comes.
Stay on the road!
223
00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:45,362
- Bye!
- You won't have any problems!
224
00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:18,992
Hola.
225
00:22:23,608 --> 00:22:25,872
Adios.
226
00:23:37,883 --> 00:23:39,908
Welcome to Mexico.
227
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:56,596
Oh!
228
00:24:16,621 --> 00:24:18,851
Hold on!
229
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:21,187
- I'm slipping!
- Don't slip!
230
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:23,090
Whatever you do, don't slip!
231
00:24:29,367 --> 00:24:31,767
Oh, what the hell.
232
00:25:21,152 --> 00:25:23,347
You slipped!
233
00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:25,548
I apologize!
234
00:25:25,657 --> 00:25:27,921
Next time, I'll bring my gloves.
235
00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:30,221
That's a hundred-foot drop.
236
00:25:30,328 --> 00:25:32,922
We could have been killed.
237
00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:35,192
You're the one who knocked me
into the rapids!
238
00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:39,862
Hey, lady, remember the vine?
That was me.
239
00:25:41,339 --> 00:25:44,001
And what were you doing
in the jungle with those guys?
240
00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:45,667
Sightseeing!
241
00:25:50,448 --> 00:25:53,212
- Where are you going?
- East.
242
00:26:46,371 --> 00:26:49,306
Could you slow down a bit?
243
00:26:49,407 --> 00:26:51,375
No!
244
00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:56,574
Ooh!
245
00:26:56,681 --> 00:26:58,979
Could you cut the branches
a little shorter?
246
00:26:59,084 --> 00:27:02,144
What a team.
247
00:27:02,253 --> 00:27:04,585
I do all the work.
You do all the bitching.
248
00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:07,317
Well, at least I'm doing
a better job than you are.
249
00:27:30,115 --> 00:27:31,446
Good Lord!
250
00:27:31,549 --> 00:27:33,574
You mean you're not
gonna complain...
251
00:27:33,685 --> 00:27:39,021
that, uh, they're too old, or they're
too out of the way, or too somethin'?
252
00:27:39,124 --> 00:27:41,820
- Hey, look, let's just call a truce, okay?
- Hey!
253
00:27:41,926 --> 00:27:43,894
Fine by me.
254
00:27:46,564 --> 00:27:49,032
So this is where you were heading
when you rescued me?
255
00:27:51,136 --> 00:27:53,036
And, by the way, thanks.
256
00:27:53,138 --> 00:27:57,006
Yes, I was.
And you're welcome.
257
00:27:57,108 --> 00:28:00,407
So what do you do?
Clean stones?
258
00:28:02,147 --> 00:28:04,911
- I thought you said truce.
- Sorry.
259
00:28:05,016 --> 00:28:07,883
Sometimes, I get in a groove
and I just can't get out of it.
260
00:28:10,588 --> 00:28:16,322
I'm an archaeologist.
I'm about to set up a dig here.
261
00:28:16,428 --> 00:28:18,760
- How about some coffee?
- Sounds good.
262
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:26,394
- Where are you going now?
- I don't know about you, but I like my coffee hot.
263
00:28:26,504 --> 00:28:29,405
So I'm about to go get some wood,
if that's okay by you.
264
00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:33,033
Thank you.
265
00:28:53,598 --> 00:28:57,034
Where you been, amigo?
We have been waiting a long time.
266
00:28:59,370 --> 00:29:01,235
You know, that was some punch
you landed on me.
267
00:29:01,339 --> 00:29:03,899
You wanted us
to make it look bueno.
268
00:29:04,008 --> 00:29:09,878
Yeah. Well, you made it look so bueno,
you almost got me and the girl killed.
269
00:29:11,182 --> 00:29:14,777
If you can't swim,
stay off of the water.
270
00:29:14,886 --> 00:29:18,083
Gracias.
271
00:29:25,363 --> 00:29:27,490
De nada.
272
00:29:41,946 --> 00:29:44,414
Going to rub two sticks together?
273
00:29:46,050 --> 00:29:49,508
Not when I have one of these.
274
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:55,184
So, what's a nice girl like you
doing in a jungle like this?
275
00:29:55,293 --> 00:29:59,525
It's a long story, but the short of it is
I'm supposed to be in Las Hadas.
276
00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:04,295
Nice place.
A little bit too civilized for me.
277
00:30:04,402 --> 00:30:05,994
You like it better in these ruins?
278
00:30:06,104 --> 00:30:08,766
We call them monuments down here.
279
00:30:11,376 --> 00:30:14,504
Would you point me in the right direction
for the town of Las Hadas?
280
00:30:14,612 --> 00:30:16,876
West.
281
00:30:16,981 --> 00:30:18,915
West. Let's see.
282
00:30:19,017 --> 00:30:23,613
West would be...
283
00:30:23,721 --> 00:30:25,689
that way.
284
00:30:27,792 --> 00:30:29,692
West.
285
00:30:33,798 --> 00:30:36,392
Coffee'll be ready in a minute.
286
00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:40,631
It'll be dark soon.
I'd better be on my way.
287
00:30:40,738 --> 00:30:43,172
- I'll take you.
- Oh, you have things to do.
288
00:30:43,274 --> 00:30:45,469
Besides, I used to be a Bluebird.
289
00:30:45,577 --> 00:30:47,238
Oh.
290
00:30:47,345 --> 00:30:50,143
Well, thanks again.
291
00:30:50,248 --> 00:30:53,081
Maybe we'll run into each other
in a museum or something.
292
00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:55,209
Good luck.
293
00:31:00,325 --> 00:31:03,123
West.
294
00:31:13,671 --> 00:31:16,231
I think I'll have
that cup of coffee first.
295
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,570
- Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
296
00:31:54,178 --> 00:31:56,408
- Oh, uh, Titleist 2?
- S�.
297
00:31:56,514 --> 00:32:00,473
Yeah. Here you go.
Here you go. Great.
298
00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:03,053
What do you got there?
Yeah.
299
00:32:04,322 --> 00:32:08,281
I'd suggest a 6-iron.
Really. Good day.
300
00:32:49,434 --> 00:32:52,699
Good afternoon.
I'd like your finest room, please.
301
00:32:52,804 --> 00:32:56,365
The honeymoon suite, if it's available,
and even if it's not.
302
00:33:09,921 --> 00:33:14,153
- May I help you, se�or?
- Mmm. I was inquiring about the honeymoon suite.
303
00:33:14,258 --> 00:33:16,158
Money's no object.
304
00:33:16,260 --> 00:33:20,162
Well, we will check
as to its availability, Se�or-
305
00:33:20,264 --> 00:33:23,392
Steele. Remington Steele.
306
00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:27,631
The Remington Steele?
307
00:33:27,739 --> 00:33:29,900
You are the big dick from Los Angeles.
308
00:33:32,276 --> 00:33:34,972
I see my reputation has preceded me.
309
00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:38,276
But of course.
I am Fernando, the hotel manager.
310
00:33:38,383 --> 00:33:40,374
- Welcome to Las Hadas.
- Thank you.
311
00:33:42,887 --> 00:33:46,152
You're on an undercover assignment.
�S�?
312
00:33:46,257 --> 00:33:50,353
Uh, actually, I just had a run-in
with a rather nasty pothole.
313
00:33:50,461 --> 00:33:54,363
I'd like to exchange these traveler's
checks for pesos as soon as possible.
314
00:33:54,465 --> 00:33:56,524
- No problema.
- I'll also need a taxi...
315
00:33:56,634 --> 00:34:00,331
- No problema.
- So I can retrieve my bride from the Hotel del Amor.
316
00:34:00,438 --> 00:34:02,406
- Big problema.
- Why?
317
00:34:04,208 --> 00:34:08,736
You see, no one goes into the jungle
at night. Malvados, you know.
318
00:34:08,846 --> 00:34:12,782
- Oh.
- But your bride will be there in the morning.
319
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:15,853
Yes, one can only hope.
320
00:34:15,953 --> 00:34:18,683
Like I told you, Steele,
you can run, but you can't hide.
321
00:34:18,790 --> 00:34:23,193
Well, well, well. Norman Keyes.
What a coincidence.
322
00:34:23,294 --> 00:34:26,559
Yeah, you think it's a coincidence
if you want, but I got you.
323
00:34:26,664 --> 00:34:28,564
I got you right where I want you.
324
00:34:28,666 --> 00:34:30,657
You've snapped Keyes, you know that?
325
00:34:30,768 --> 00:34:33,532
Go find yourself a padded cell
before you hurt yourself.
326
00:34:33,638 --> 00:34:36,300
You know, you're this close
to the edge...
327
00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:38,739
and I'm gonna love givin' you the boot.
328
00:34:38,843 --> 00:34:40,811
Oh.
329
00:34:42,313 --> 00:34:46,773
What a happy surprise, huh?
You already meet an old friend.
330
00:34:50,021 --> 00:34:52,888
- Enjoy your stay.
- Mmm. Thank you.
331
00:34:55,726 --> 00:34:59,685
Mildred- Mildred, look. I don't mean
to look a gift horse in the mouth...
332
00:34:59,797 --> 00:35:02,231
but either
your travel agent's a crook...
333
00:35:02,333 --> 00:35:04,995
or you don't love us
as much as you say you do.
334
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:08,038
Mm-hmm.
I know.
335
00:35:08,139 --> 00:35:12,735
Right. Well, that wasn't the case.
336
00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:15,608
Uh-huh. Mmm.
337
00:35:15,713 --> 00:35:18,204
Well, that's the spirit, Mildred.
338
00:35:18,316 --> 00:35:20,216
Make those heads roll.
339
00:35:20,318 --> 00:35:22,286
Bye.
340
00:35:32,330 --> 00:35:36,266
Laura. Hey, how'd you
get through the jungle?
341
00:35:36,367 --> 00:35:40,394
No thanks to you.
That's how I got through the jungle.
342
00:35:45,776 --> 00:35:48,802
Oh.
343
00:35:48,913 --> 00:35:50,881
Excuse me.
344
00:36:00,258 --> 00:36:02,522
My jacket?
345
00:36:02,627 --> 00:36:05,562
Oh. Sorry.
346
00:36:06,731 --> 00:36:08,824
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
347
00:36:11,402 --> 00:36:13,370
Clothing salesman?
348
00:36:13,471 --> 00:36:15,530
He's the reason I'm here.
349
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:19,474
Oh. Well, in that case,
I'm eternally grateful, Mr. -
350
00:36:19,577 --> 00:36:22,171
I don't even know... your name.
351
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,716
Roselli. Anthony Roselli.
My friends call me Tony.
352
00:36:25,816 --> 00:36:28,216
Yes, I'm sure they do.
353
00:36:28,319 --> 00:36:31,311
- Remington Steele.
- You wouldn't believe what we've been through.
354
00:36:31,422 --> 00:36:33,322
First, I was chased by malvados.
355
00:36:33,424 --> 00:36:35,688
Then Tony- Mr. Roselli-
fought them off.
356
00:36:35,793 --> 00:36:38,728
- Then we fell into some rapids-
- You must be very thirsty.
357
00:36:38,829 --> 00:36:41,389
Would you, um-
Would you like some champagne?
358
00:36:41,499 --> 00:36:43,467
You got a beer?
359
00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:49,931
No. Carry on, Laura.
360
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:52,805
After the rapids,
we cascaded over a waterfall...
361
00:36:52,910 --> 00:36:55,845
and macheted our way
through a jungle to some old ruins.
362
00:36:55,947 --> 00:36:58,074
They're called monuments down here.
363
00:36:58,182 --> 00:37:00,878
- Veritable Romancing the Stone.
- What?
364
00:37:00,985 --> 00:37:04,614
Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner.
20th Century Fox, 1985.
365
00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:09,455
- Oh.
- Mmm! Would you like some fish eggs?
366
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,085
No, I never got
a taste for those things.
367
00:37:12,196 --> 00:37:14,096
So tell me, Mr. Steele,
what brings you here?
368
00:37:14,198 --> 00:37:16,928
I think I'll let Laura field that one.
369
00:37:17,034 --> 00:37:21,562
Oh. That's another thing
that I forgot to tell you, Ton-
370
00:37:21,672 --> 00:37:23,936
Uh, Mr. Roselli.
371
00:37:24,041 --> 00:37:26,874
We are on our, uh-
372
00:37:26,978 --> 00:37:30,141
Actually, we are on our-
373
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,944
- Mmm!
- Mmm. Spit it out, Laura.
374
00:37:33,050 --> 00:37:35,018
Mmm-
375
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:40,547
- Honeymoon.
- Your honeymoon?
376
00:37:40,658 --> 00:37:43,422
Really?
377
00:37:43,527 --> 00:37:46,121
Well, I never would've guessed.
378
00:37:46,230 --> 00:37:48,289
Well, from what
you've both been through...
379
00:37:48,399 --> 00:37:51,129
you obviously didn't have any time
for any small talk.
380
00:37:51,235 --> 00:37:53,499
I mean, no wedding ring.
381
00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:55,936
No wedding ring?
382
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,532
- Oh.
- It's in Los Angeles... being sized.
383
00:37:59,644 --> 00:38:01,612
It belonged to
my great-grandmother...
384
00:38:01,712 --> 00:38:03,703
who inherited it
from her Greek uncle.
385
00:38:03,814 --> 00:38:08,547
He came upon it while he was in Paris on
a secret mission for the grand duke's nephew.
386
00:38:08,653 --> 00:38:12,612
It seems that Napoleon's tailor
took this as a-
387
00:38:12,723 --> 00:38:15,055
as a payment for this wonderful-
388
00:38:15,159 --> 00:38:17,184
All right.
Stop with the history lesson, dear.
389
00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:20,526
- It's just a gold band.
- Forgive me, Laura.
390
00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:24,624
I didn't mean to ramble on
about the family jewels.
391
00:38:24,735 --> 00:38:26,794
I'd better shove off.
392
00:38:26,904 --> 00:38:30,635
Look, it's been real nice
meeting you... both.
393
00:38:30,741 --> 00:38:32,766
Why don't you join us for dinner?
394
00:38:32,877 --> 00:38:35,710
It's the least I can do to thank you
for salvaging my wife.
395
00:38:35,813 --> 00:38:38,338
- No, he has to get back to the ruins.
- Yeah, well-
396
00:38:38,449 --> 00:38:41,350
- They're called monuments.
- No matter what they're called, he has to be going.
397
00:38:41,452 --> 00:38:43,716
- I can always eat.
- Splendid.
398
00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:46,483
- 10:00? The terrace?
- You got it.
399
00:38:46,590 --> 00:38:49,559
I look forward to breaking bread
with you, Anthony.
400
00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:51,628
Me too.
401
00:39:00,971 --> 00:39:02,802
Why did you invite him to dinner?
402
00:39:02,907 --> 00:39:05,068
A simple thank you
would have sufficed.
403
00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:08,339
I just wanted to hear
all about your intrepid trek.
404
00:39:08,446 --> 00:39:12,644
Well, it certainly doesn't look like
you went through much getting here.
405
00:39:12,750 --> 00:39:14,877
Me? No.
Hardly used theJeep.
406
00:39:14,985 --> 00:39:18,079
Terrific. I'm in the middle of a jungle
fighting for my life...
407
00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:21,556
and you're here swilling champagne
and munching caviar.
408
00:39:29,166 --> 00:39:31,066
- I traipse in here with Tony-
- Mr. Roselli.
409
00:39:31,168 --> 00:39:34,331
- And what do you do? You offer him fish eggs.
- He looked hungry.
410
00:39:34,438 --> 00:39:36,338
Oh!
411
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,967
- Don't you think other men might find me attractive?
- Have anyone in mind?
412
00:39:40,077 --> 00:39:42,568
- Don't you think he was?
- Was what?
413
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,580
- Attractive.
- I didn't notice.
414
00:39:44,682 --> 00:39:46,582
Well, he was.
Damned attractive.
415
00:39:46,684 --> 00:39:48,584
Okay, Laura,
I'll take your word for it.
416
00:39:48,686 --> 00:39:51,450
You've always had a keen eye
for that sort of thing, you know.
417
00:39:51,555 --> 00:39:54,718
Laura, I don't understand
why you're so angry.
418
00:39:54,825 --> 00:39:59,660
I thought I was excruciatingly
pleasant to your guest.
419
00:39:59,764 --> 00:40:03,291
There we were-
two incredibly attractive people...
420
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:05,733
alone together
deep in the jungle...
421
00:40:05,836 --> 00:40:07,736
and you're not even
remotely jealous.
422
00:40:07,838 --> 00:40:10,204
All right, all right.
If it makes you happy, I'm jealous.
423
00:40:10,307 --> 00:40:12,434
- Too late!
- No, I'm very jealous, Laura.
424
00:40:12,543 --> 00:40:15,239
You gotta believe me.
I'm really-
425
00:40:16,814 --> 00:40:18,975
Well-
426
00:40:19,083 --> 00:40:22,678
Well, at least we're starting
to act like a married couple.
427
00:40:36,333 --> 00:40:41,361
Anthony...
428
00:40:41,472 --> 00:40:44,737
I think now is as good a time as any
to get something off my chest.
429
00:40:46,043 --> 00:40:47,943
- Oh?
- Yes.
430
00:40:48,045 --> 00:40:50,275
Shoot.
431
00:40:50,381 --> 00:40:55,114
I must admit, I was somewhat jealous that you
were beating through the bush with my wife.
432
00:40:56,353 --> 00:40:58,617
Bush-beating? Me?
433
00:40:58,722 --> 00:41:04,627
Well, you are a relatively
attractive man, and, um, well-
434
00:41:07,398 --> 00:41:09,298
Do you find my wife attractive?
435
00:41:10,534 --> 00:41:12,365
Yeah. Sure.
436
00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,370
Hence, my jealousy.
437
00:41:22,446 --> 00:41:24,437
Are you married, Tony?
438
00:41:24,548 --> 00:41:26,539
Uh-uh. No.
439
00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:29,915
Yeah, it's a funny thing
about wives, you know.
440
00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:33,683
No matter how hard you try to
satisfy them, you can never please them.
441
00:41:33,791 --> 00:41:36,055
I mean, take Laura, for instance.
442
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,652
- I mean, just tonight,
she wanted me to be jealous-
443
00:41:39,763 --> 00:41:43,699
Tell me, Tony, what made you
choose archaeology?
444
00:41:43,801 --> 00:41:48,033
- Well, I kinda got into it sideways.
- Always an interesting position.
445
00:41:48,138 --> 00:41:52,336
What I mean is,
I started out as a baseball player.
446
00:41:52,443 --> 00:41:55,640
I pitched three years Triple-A.
Hurt my arm- I was outta there.
447
00:41:55,746 --> 00:41:59,978
Baseball player.
Isn't that fascinating, dear?
448
00:42:00,084 --> 00:42:03,918
Yes, well, Anthony's
a fascinating fellow, dear.
449
00:42:05,623 --> 00:42:10,492
So, you went from, um,
bats to bones.
450
00:42:10,594 --> 00:42:13,688
Yeah, well, it doesn't pay much,
but I do get to travel a lot.
451
00:42:17,935 --> 00:42:21,098
Compliments of the gentleman, se�or.
452
00:42:23,173 --> 00:42:25,232
Keyes?
What's he doing here?
453
00:42:25,342 --> 00:42:27,936
I'll handle it.
454
00:42:29,313 --> 00:42:33,613
- Friend of yours?
- Not exactly.
455
00:42:38,155 --> 00:42:40,055
What's the matter, Steele?
You don't want my little gift?
456
00:42:40,157 --> 00:42:43,684
It's like you, Keyes.
Bad vintage.
457
00:42:43,794 --> 00:42:45,694
Tell me something, Steele.
458
00:42:45,796 --> 00:42:48,959
Is it strictly a business deal
between you and Holt...
459
00:42:49,066 --> 00:42:51,091
or you gettin' a little on the side?
460
00:42:53,070 --> 00:42:55,038
You just don't know
when to quit, do you, Keyes?
461
00:42:55,139 --> 00:42:57,369
Well, she ain't a bad-lookin' broad
in the right light.
462
00:42:57,474 --> 00:43:02,207
If I didn't have anything better to do,
I wouldn't mind having a go at her myself.
463
00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:11,919
Guess he didn't like the wine.
464
00:43:22,032 --> 00:43:24,933
It's okay.
465
00:43:25,035 --> 00:43:27,333
Hang on.
What's this guy saying?
466
00:43:27,438 --> 00:43:29,633
- They want you to go with them.
- I'll go too.
467
00:43:29,740 --> 00:43:32,265
Keyes has just gone for a little swim.
Finish your dinner and relax.
468
00:43:32,376 --> 00:43:34,344
- Vamos.
- Okay, guys.
469
00:43:34,445 --> 00:43:38,142
Just give him a chance to cool off.
He'll be all right.
470
00:43:38,248 --> 00:43:40,375
Let's get out of here.
471
00:43:42,252 --> 00:43:47,019
The first order of business is to get
Se�or Keyes not to press any charges.
472
00:43:47,124 --> 00:43:50,821
He's lucky he fell off the balcony,
or he wouldn't be alive to press charges.
473
00:43:50,928 --> 00:43:54,364
Oh, please, Se�or Steele. We cannot-
474
00:44:04,642 --> 00:44:06,610
Yeah.
475
00:44:08,879 --> 00:44:11,040
Se�or Keyes-
We cannot find him anywhere.
476
00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:17,477
- In that case, it's been lovely.
- Please.
477
00:44:17,588 --> 00:44:21,490
For all concerned,
stay away from Se�or Keyes.
478
00:44:21,592 --> 00:44:24,789
You tell him to stay away
from me, senor.
479
00:44:39,810 --> 00:44:41,778
Wanna talk about it?
480
00:44:45,449 --> 00:44:47,747
It's another long story.
481
00:44:50,387 --> 00:44:52,446
I got time.
482
00:44:54,358 --> 00:44:56,588
Look.
483
00:44:56,694 --> 00:44:59,356
You don't have
to babysit me, Tony.
484
00:44:59,463 --> 00:45:03,661
I'll be fine, really,
and so will Mr. Steele.
485
00:45:05,135 --> 00:45:07,103
You call him Mr. Steele?
486
00:45:09,073 --> 00:45:12,406
He used to be my boss.
487
00:45:12,509 --> 00:45:14,943
But now he's your husband.
488
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,706
- Old habits die hard.
- I guess so.
489
00:45:29,193 --> 00:45:32,788
I know I've said it already, but...
490
00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:37,265
thanks... for everything.
491
00:45:44,842 --> 00:45:46,742
Stay outta jungles.
492
00:48:07,618 --> 00:48:09,518
Se�or?
493
00:48:11,455 --> 00:48:13,719
Something we can
help you with, Se�or Steele?
494
00:48:13,824 --> 00:48:16,622
Uh, no.
495
00:48:16,727 --> 00:48:18,627
No, no, no. Gracias.
No, no.
496
00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,788
Uh, I'm just going
for a quick dip. That's all.
497
00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:23,366
You know...
498
00:48:23,467 --> 00:48:26,800
calm the nerves,
stimulate the body.
499
00:49:07,311 --> 00:49:09,745
- You all right?
- Mm-hmm.
500
00:49:13,417 --> 00:49:16,079
You wouldn't happen to have that
mosquito netting handy, would you?
501
00:49:16,186 --> 00:49:19,952
- What happened?
- What happened?
502
00:49:20,057 --> 00:49:23,185
You want the official version or the truth?
503
00:49:23,293 --> 00:49:25,090
I've heard the official version.
504
00:49:25,195 --> 00:49:31,065
Well, they're both painfully similar...
505
00:49:31,168 --> 00:49:33,966
except for one minor detail.
506
00:49:36,006 --> 00:49:37,940
Keyes was already dead
when I found him.
507
00:49:38,041 --> 00:49:41,772
Why didn't you call someone?
The police, the hotel manager.
508
00:49:41,878 --> 00:49:45,575
And tell them what? That the man
I knocked off a 50-foot balcony...
509
00:49:45,682 --> 00:49:49,482
had the audacity, the bad manners,
to expire on my floor?
510
00:49:49,586 --> 00:49:51,486
It might have been better
than being discovered...
511
00:49:51,588 --> 00:49:53,681
trying to hide his body
in a tent on the beach.
512
00:49:53,790 --> 00:49:55,985
Remind me not to hire you
as my defense attorney.
513
00:49:56,093 --> 00:50:00,120
Did you know he was at the
Hotel del Amor the day before we arrived?
514
00:50:00,230 --> 00:50:04,132
- Keyes?
- It appears you've been following him across Mexico.
515
00:50:04,234 --> 00:50:08,068
That's why our travel plans changed.
Huh.
516
00:50:08,171 --> 00:50:10,332
- Why don't you have a name?
- What?
517
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:14,035
I feel like a fool calling you Mr. Steele
or Remington at a time like this.
518
00:50:14,144 --> 00:50:16,669
Why don't you have a real name
like everybody else?
519
00:50:18,815 --> 00:50:22,945
If ever there were a time when we needed
to be completely honest with one another...
520
00:50:23,053 --> 00:50:26,386
this is it.
521
00:50:26,490 --> 00:50:30,392
There were many a time when I wanted
to kill Keyes myself with my bare hands.
522
00:50:30,494 --> 00:50:32,985
But you didn't.
523
00:50:33,096 --> 00:50:36,327
And neither did I.
524
00:50:36,433 --> 00:50:39,698
What I'm trying to say is...
525
00:50:39,803 --> 00:50:44,331
I'd understand if he goaded you
past the point, and you couldn't control-
526
00:50:44,441 --> 00:50:46,409
I didn't kill Keyes!
527
00:50:54,251 --> 00:50:57,846
Now, the first order of business
is to get me out of here so I can prove it.
528
00:50:57,954 --> 00:51:00,047
No chance.
I've already checked.
529
00:51:00,157 --> 00:51:04,423
I'm not gonna sit in this jail and watch them
build my gallows outside, Laura.
530
00:51:04,528 --> 00:51:07,429
Then do a little praying.
You can start by praying...
531
00:51:07,531 --> 00:51:10,398
I'm as good a detective
as I claim to be.
532
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:32,821
Laura.!
533
00:51:34,858 --> 00:51:38,123
I just heard about your husband.
Is there anything I can do to help?
534
00:51:38,228 --> 00:51:41,959
I just bought this luggage. Senor!
535
00:51:42,065 --> 00:51:44,090
Mildred?
536
00:51:44,201 --> 00:51:48,433
- Mildred!
- Oh, look at this. It's all scratched.
537
00:51:48,538 --> 00:51:52,235
Excuse me. Would you happen
to know where the adult pool is?
538
00:51:52,342 --> 00:51:55,505
Hang a right at the square.
539
00:51:55,612 --> 00:51:57,239
Gracias.
540
00:51:57,347 --> 00:51:59,315
De nada.
541
00:52:06,022 --> 00:52:07,922
What are you doing here?
542
00:52:08,024 --> 00:52:10,788
Well, I just thought I'd come down
and straighten out the travel plans...
543
00:52:10,894 --> 00:52:12,794
and maybe mix
a little business with pleasure.
544
00:52:12,896 --> 00:52:14,887
I'm afraid it's going
to be all business.
545
00:52:14,998 --> 00:52:17,831
The police think Mr. Steele
killed Norman Keyes.
546
00:52:17,934 --> 00:52:22,598
What?
Oh, good for the boss.
547
00:52:22,706 --> 00:52:24,674
Mildred, use the telephone
in my suite...
548
00:52:24,774 --> 00:52:27,937
and get a list of all the insurance cases
Keyes was working on.
549
00:52:28,044 --> 00:52:29,944
We need suspects fast.
550
00:52:30,046 --> 00:52:32,207
- See? I'm useful already.
- Go! Go!
551
00:52:32,315 --> 00:52:35,648
- I'm goin'! I'm goin'!
- Is that offer of help still good?
552
00:52:35,752 --> 00:52:38,186
- You name it.
- How are you at acrobatics?
553
00:52:46,096 --> 00:52:48,826
Whoa!
554
00:53:43,653 --> 00:53:46,247
You pick a mean lock.
555
00:53:46,356 --> 00:53:48,847
My uncle was a delivery man.
556
00:53:48,959 --> 00:53:51,484
A very determined delivery man.
557
00:53:51,595 --> 00:53:53,825
Taught me all his secrets.
558
00:53:53,930 --> 00:53:58,731
Something tells me that
you're not your ordinary housewife.
559
00:54:01,037 --> 00:54:04,063
I'm just a girl
trying to have a honeymoon.
560
00:54:04,174 --> 00:54:07,905
Only it's a little difficult
when your husband's behind bars.
561
00:54:08,011 --> 00:54:09,945
Isn't this slightly illegal?
562
00:54:10,046 --> 00:54:13,311
No. It's very illegal.
563
00:54:13,416 --> 00:54:18,080
But the hotel manager told me
the police haven't been here yet.
564
00:54:18,188 --> 00:54:22,147
You wanna tell me
what we're looking for?
565
00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:28,129
Something, anything to prove that
Remington didn't kill Norman Keyes.
566
00:54:28,231 --> 00:54:32,565
- Then you don't wanna see this.
- What is it?
567
00:54:32,669 --> 00:54:37,265
It's a letter that Keyes was writing
to someone at Vigilance Insurance.
568
00:54:37,374 --> 00:54:41,276
"And I'm more convinced than ever
that Steele may try to silence me. "
569
00:54:41,378 --> 00:54:43,812
Let me see that.
570
00:54:46,816 --> 00:54:51,719
- Why did Keyes think your marriage was phony?
- He was cracked.
571
00:54:51,821 --> 00:54:55,621
Yeah, well, right over here,
it says that he's sure he can prove it.
572
00:54:55,725 --> 00:54:57,625
It's a long story, Tony.
573
00:54:58,728 --> 00:55:01,356
Well, you've got a lot
of those, Laura.
574
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,125
- Check the door, will you?
- Yeah.
575
00:55:11,775 --> 00:55:15,575
Well, well.
Isn't this interesting?
576
00:55:15,679 --> 00:55:17,647
What?
577
00:55:19,316 --> 00:55:21,307
- Keyes checked in alone, correct?
- Mm-hmm.
578
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,949
Then what's a bald man doing
with a hairbrush in his bathroom?
579
00:55:27,057 --> 00:55:29,787
Maybe he was an optimist.
580
00:55:29,893 --> 00:55:32,157
You have a very
warped sense of humor.
581
00:55:32,262 --> 00:55:34,628
- Just like somebody else I know.
- I'm sorry.
582
00:55:34,731 --> 00:55:38,599
This proves there's someone
down here who knew Keyes.
583
00:55:38,702 --> 00:55:41,762
Knew him well enough to be
invited to Keyes's suite.
584
00:55:43,506 --> 00:55:46,907
Someone with long blonde hair.
585
00:56:01,391 --> 00:56:03,655
Antonio?
586
00:56:13,036 --> 00:56:14,901
What are you doing here?
587
00:56:16,139 --> 00:56:18,198
I waited for you by the pool.
588
00:56:19,876 --> 00:56:23,869
I mean, why aren't you
in Mexico City?
589
00:56:23,980 --> 00:56:27,882
I wanted to celebrate with you.
590
00:56:27,984 --> 00:56:31,351
Yeah, well, uh,
there's nothing to celebrate.
591
00:56:31,454 --> 00:56:34,719
But when you called last night,
you said everything was perfecto.
592
00:56:34,824 --> 00:56:39,193
Yeah, I know. But that was before
Mr. Steele decided to kill someone.
593
00:56:41,164 --> 00:56:43,291
Is this what you call a glitch?
594
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:48,565
Yeah. But it's nothing that
I can't work my way out of.
595
00:56:48,671 --> 00:56:53,131
Then we are still going
to the States?
596
00:56:53,243 --> 00:56:56,576
Sure. Just, uh...
597
00:56:56,679 --> 00:56:58,579
don't go buyin'
any plane tickets yet.
598
00:57:00,517 --> 00:57:04,749
Ooh! Three years I have followed you
all over South America.
599
00:57:04,854 --> 00:57:08,915
Do you think I only did this because
you promised to take me to the States?
600
00:57:09,025 --> 00:57:11,084
Yes.
601
00:57:11,194 --> 00:57:13,719
And did I ever threaten to leave
because you weren't a big shot...
602
00:57:13,830 --> 00:57:15,764
in the immigration department anymore?
603
00:57:15,865 --> 00:57:18,265
Every day.
604
00:57:18,368 --> 00:57:21,269
And did I ever ask why your bosses
were so angry with you...
605
00:57:21,371 --> 00:57:24,966
that they sent you to all those
dirty little towns in South America?
606
00:57:25,074 --> 00:57:28,339
- Every other day.
- So you see, Antonio?
607
00:57:30,713 --> 00:57:34,877
I have been your loyal secretary...
608
00:57:34,984 --> 00:57:39,182
as well as your faithful companion.
609
00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:42,122
And don't bring up
that bullfighter again.
610
00:57:42,225 --> 00:57:45,752
I told you...
611
00:57:45,862 --> 00:57:48,854
he was just showing me
where he had been gored.
612
00:57:48,965 --> 00:57:51,126
Conchita, go home.
613
00:57:51,234 --> 00:57:53,600
Please.
614
00:57:53,703 --> 00:57:58,037
Oh, tell me you haven't-
how do you say-
615
00:57:58,141 --> 00:58:00,541
screwed up again.
616
00:58:00,643 --> 00:58:04,010
Oh, I couldn't stand
another disappointment.
617
00:58:06,049 --> 00:58:11,453
As soon as I prove
Steele's marriage is a fraud...
618
00:58:11,554 --> 00:58:14,489
I'll be back in solid
with my bosses.
619
00:58:17,227 --> 00:58:20,162
We'll be across the Rio Grande.
620
00:58:22,999 --> 00:58:26,366
Then do it. I've already packed,
and my clothes are getting wrinkled.
621
00:58:26,469 --> 00:58:30,235
First, I have to get Steele out of jail.
622
00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:34,470
Because if that doesn't happen,
we can kiss Disneyland good-bye.
623
00:58:34,577 --> 00:58:37,774
Adios.
624
00:58:37,881 --> 00:58:40,816
Antonio?
625
00:58:40,917 --> 00:58:43,181
What?
626
00:58:43,286 --> 00:58:46,187
You haven't told me how
you like my new bathing suit.
627
00:58:48,691 --> 00:58:50,989
I bought it especially for you.
628
00:58:51,094 --> 00:58:54,427
- Nice material.
- And you know the best feature?
629
00:58:56,466 --> 00:59:01,199
- No.
- It comes off so easily.
630
00:59:15,218 --> 00:59:18,813
Oh, boss.
Oh.
631
00:59:18,922 --> 00:59:20,822
Boss, you look awful.
632
00:59:20,924 --> 00:59:25,122
You're all haggard and pasty, and-
Your right eye is twitching.
633
00:59:25,228 --> 00:59:27,594
Well, it's good
to see you too, Mildred.
634
00:59:27,697 --> 00:59:31,793
Now, why-Why am I seeing you here?
I mean, uh, in Mexico.
635
00:59:31,901 --> 00:59:35,234
I can't find Miss Holt.
I mean Mrs. Steele.
636
00:59:35,338 --> 00:59:38,239
She asked me to dig up all the cases
that Keyes was working on.
637
00:59:38,341 --> 00:59:41,139
- And?
- The only cases he was on is yours.
638
00:59:42,412 --> 00:59:44,505
Oh, well, at least
the man's consistent.
639
00:59:44,614 --> 00:59:47,276
- Oh, it gets worse.
- Uh-huh.
640
00:59:47,383 --> 00:59:50,841
Keyes raised his insurance
by one million bucks.
641
00:59:50,954 --> 00:59:53,218
He said he was afraid
of what you might do to him.
642
00:59:53,323 --> 00:59:55,917
Oh, great, Mildred.
Thanks for stopping by. Great.
643
00:59:56,025 --> 00:59:58,391
Oh, boss.
644
00:59:58,494 --> 01:00:01,054
Don't confuse the message
with the messenger.
645
01:00:01,164 --> 01:00:03,632
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
646
01:00:07,604 --> 01:00:10,402
Someone made it appear
that I was following Keyes...
647
01:00:10,506 --> 01:00:12,940
from the Hotel del Amor
down to Las Hadas.
648
01:00:13,042 --> 01:00:16,068
But I didn't even see Keyes
at the Hotel del Amor...
649
01:00:16,179 --> 01:00:18,841
and we weren't even supposed
to be there in the first place.
650
01:00:18,948 --> 01:00:21,143
Oh! Which reminds me.
651
01:00:21,250 --> 01:00:23,445
I found out who switched
your travel plans.
652
01:00:23,553 --> 01:00:26,954
You did? Well, why didn't you tell-
Never mind. Never mind. Captain?
653
01:00:27,056 --> 01:00:29,217
Captain.!
654
01:00:29,325 --> 01:00:32,658
If someone switched those plans,
that proves I wasn't following Keyes.
655
01:00:32,762 --> 01:00:34,593
Good point, chief.
But I don't think-
656
01:00:34,697 --> 01:00:37,689
Hold up. Hold up.
Captain, your honor, sir...
657
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:42,669
Senora Krebs here knows who's trying to
frame me for the murder of Norman Keyes.
658
01:00:42,772 --> 01:00:46,105
Go ahead, Mildred.
Tell the man.
659
01:00:46,209 --> 01:00:50,805
Go ahead, Mildred. Tell the nice captain
who switched our plans.
660
01:00:50,913 --> 01:00:54,007
- You did.
- You see, Cap-
661
01:00:54,117 --> 01:00:57,553
- I did?
- Well, that's what the travel agent told me.
662
01:00:57,654 --> 01:01:01,988
- I switched the plans?
- You have just supplied the missing piece to the puzzle.
663
01:01:02,091 --> 01:01:04,218
- I have?
- S�.
664
01:01:04,327 --> 01:01:07,819
Now I know Se�or Steele's plan
was premeditated.
665
01:01:07,930 --> 01:01:11,161
You've made it possible for me
to upgrade the charges...
666
01:01:11,267 --> 01:01:14,930
from manslaughter
to first degree murder.
667
01:01:15,038 --> 01:01:17,506
Muchas gracias, se�ora.
668
01:01:17,607 --> 01:01:19,472
Muchas gracias.
669
01:01:20,943 --> 01:01:23,605
Oh, boss, I tried to warn you.
670
01:01:23,713 --> 01:01:27,114
I know you did, Mildred.
I know you did. I know you did.
671
01:01:27,216 --> 01:01:29,241
You've gotta get me
out of this place, Mildred...
672
01:01:29,352 --> 01:01:31,445
or else I'm carne muerta.
673
01:01:31,554 --> 01:01:33,488
�Carne muerta?
674
01:01:35,792 --> 01:01:37,760
Dead meat.
675
01:01:46,869 --> 01:01:48,769
Psst.! Boss.!
676
01:01:48,871 --> 01:01:52,272
Ah. Good work, Mildred.
677
01:01:52,375 --> 01:01:54,309
Listen, boss, I don't mind tellin' you,
I'm a little scared.
678
01:01:54,410 --> 01:01:58,005
Don't worry.
You're doing fine. Just fine.
679
01:01:58,114 --> 01:02:00,548
- Uh, where's the truck?
- What truck?
680
01:02:02,218 --> 01:02:04,345
Well, the truck that's supposed
to be on the other end of this rope.
681
01:02:04,454 --> 01:02:06,888
Oh, well, I didn't exactly get a truck.
682
01:02:09,425 --> 01:02:11,620
Then what exactly did you get?
683
01:02:20,236 --> 01:02:23,137
Couldn't you have found something
a tad less conspicuous, Mildred?
684
01:02:23,239 --> 01:02:25,332
But I don't habla espa�ol that well.
685
01:02:25,441 --> 01:02:28,569
Shh! Get down, get down, get down!
686
01:03:08,885 --> 01:03:11,080
Now what?
687
01:03:11,187 --> 01:03:13,087
Run!
688
01:03:13,189 --> 01:03:15,851
Sure. It's easy for you to say.
689
01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:21,089
Stay down, stay down.
690
01:03:21,197 --> 01:03:24,257
- Boss-
- Come on. Come on.
691
01:03:24,367 --> 01:03:26,801
Come on. Come on.
Keep coming. Come on.
692
01:03:26,903 --> 01:03:29,064
- I can't keep this up much longer.
- Come on.
693
01:03:29,172 --> 01:03:31,072
In here. Come on.
Keep down. Keep down.
694
01:03:31,174 --> 01:03:35,634
Down, down, down.
Come on. Get in there. Get down.
695
01:03:35,745 --> 01:03:38,612
Boss, I'm sorry
my puppies are pooped.
696
01:03:38,714 --> 01:03:41,274
I've been thinking, Mildred.
697
01:03:41,384 --> 01:03:44,717
If no one else had a grudge
against Keyes and I didn't kill him...
698
01:03:44,821 --> 01:03:46,721
who else stood to gain
from his death, eh?
699
01:03:46,823 --> 01:03:49,223
This is no time for 20 questions.
Who?
700
01:03:49,325 --> 01:03:51,316
You said he upped his life insurance
by a million dollars?
701
01:03:51,427 --> 01:03:54,328
- The beneficiary.
- Uh-huh.
702
01:03:54,430 --> 01:03:56,796
That's all we've got.
Okay.
703
01:03:56,899 --> 01:03:58,662
I'll decoy the police.
Once they pass...
704
01:03:58,768 --> 01:04:01,498
you get back to Las Hadas
and get on that phone, Mildred.
705
01:04:01,604 --> 01:04:03,663
Okay.
706
01:04:08,177 --> 01:04:10,270
Hey!
707
01:04:36,606 --> 01:04:39,302
�Alto.! �Alto.!
708
01:05:44,340 --> 01:05:48,003
No phone calls. He ate alone.
709
01:05:48,110 --> 01:05:50,010
He didn't even buy
anyone a drink.
710
01:05:50,112 --> 01:05:55,709
I'm afraid there's nothing here
to indicate that he had any company.
711
01:05:55,818 --> 01:05:58,446
Keyes rented a car-
a red Topaz.
712
01:05:58,554 --> 01:06:01,717
It might be worth checking out.
713
01:06:01,824 --> 01:06:04,088
His car would still be here,
wouldn't it?
714
01:06:04,193 --> 01:06:06,787
It is not something
he would take with him.
715
01:06:08,431 --> 01:06:10,524
This way, please.
716
01:06:12,001 --> 01:06:14,799
You know, for an archaeologist...
717
01:06:14,904 --> 01:06:18,032
you're not half bad
at being a detective.
718
01:06:18,140 --> 01:06:20,870
Same job, different tools.
719
01:06:27,650 --> 01:06:29,550
Is that what I think it is?
720
01:06:32,154 --> 01:06:35,317
If you think it's a red Topaz, it is.
721
01:06:35,424 --> 01:06:37,756
I will go see if it has
the same license plate.
722
01:06:40,663 --> 01:06:42,790
No need to.
723
01:06:45,234 --> 01:06:48,431
What do you want to bet
she's missing a hairbrush?
724
01:07:03,185 --> 01:07:06,052
Hello?
Miss Scribner?
725
01:07:06,155 --> 01:07:10,319
- Yes?
- Tracy Lord. I'm executive director of guest relations.
726
01:07:10,426 --> 01:07:13,862
- I wanted to welcome you personally to Las Hadas.
- That's very kind.
727
01:07:13,963 --> 01:07:17,660
I'd also like you to accept a small token
of our pleasure at having you with us.
728
01:07:17,767 --> 01:07:19,462
Manuel!
729
01:07:21,470 --> 01:07:24,030
- You're too kind.
- ��ndale.!
730
01:07:24,140 --> 01:07:26,335
Where's he going?
731
01:07:26,442 --> 01:07:30,435
It's best to keep the cheese in the bathroom.
It stays cooler in there.
732
01:07:30,546 --> 01:07:34,915
- I never heard that.
- We're right on the edge of a jungle here, Miss Scribner.
733
01:07:35,017 --> 01:07:39,852
And, well, you know waht jungles
can do to cheese. �ndale!
734
01:07:39,955 --> 01:07:43,789
So, are you here on business
or pleasure, Miss Scribner?
735
01:07:49,098 --> 01:07:51,123
My uncle was
murdered here last night.
736
01:07:51,233 --> 01:07:54,361
Oh, I am sorry.
That was your uncle?
737
01:07:54,470 --> 01:07:57,064
I've just come
to take his body home.
738
01:07:57,173 --> 01:07:59,573
Came straight from the airport,
did you?
739
01:08:11,754 --> 01:08:13,722
I'm so sorry for your loss,
Miss Scribner.
740
01:08:13,823 --> 01:08:15,984
And, believe me,
if there's anything I can do-
741
01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:17,992
- There is one thing.
- Yes?
742
01:08:18,094 --> 01:08:22,588
- Leave.
- Of course. Manuel, �ndale.
743
01:08:22,698 --> 01:08:25,223
��ndale!
744
01:08:25,334 --> 01:08:28,531
Please, don't hesitate to call.
745
01:08:28,637 --> 01:08:32,664
Don't all the workers here
wear white?
746
01:08:32,775 --> 01:08:35,175
You're absolutely right.
747
01:08:35,277 --> 01:08:38,110
Est�pido.
�Blanca.! �Blanca.!
748
01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:42,676
Good help is so hard to find.
749
01:08:46,655 --> 01:08:48,987
Nice save.
750
01:08:49,091 --> 01:08:51,184
You make a great welcome wagon.
751
01:08:51,293 --> 01:08:54,820
- Lady's a liar.
- So she's missing a hairbrush?
752
01:08:54,930 --> 01:08:57,455
Found yourself a suspect.
753
01:08:57,566 --> 01:09:00,763
Now all I have to do is convert her
into a murderer.
754
01:09:04,707 --> 01:09:07,505
Oh, thank you so much.
755
01:09:07,610 --> 01:09:11,341
I really appreciate-
Oh, listen, I- I owe you one.
756
01:09:11,447 --> 01:09:14,109
Right.
Where have you been?
757
01:09:14,216 --> 01:09:17,117
I have seen more of Mexico
than Pancho Villa trying to find you.
758
01:09:17,219 --> 01:09:19,210
- Well-
- Who's he?
759
01:09:19,321 --> 01:09:21,289
Tony.
760
01:09:25,194 --> 01:09:28,561
Don't you come with a last name?
761
01:09:29,965 --> 01:09:33,731
Roselli. Tony Roselli.
Uh, do you mind if I wash up?
762
01:09:33,836 --> 01:09:36,737
Help yourself.
763
01:09:36,839 --> 01:09:41,401
- Don't you wanna know my name?
- Yeah, but I wanna be clean when I hear it.
764
01:09:41,510 --> 01:09:43,478
Don't go away.
765
01:09:44,847 --> 01:09:47,407
- Where did you find him?
- In the jungle.
766
01:09:47,516 --> 01:09:49,848
What was he doing,
swinging from a vine?
767
01:09:49,952 --> 01:09:51,852
As a matter of fact, yes.
768
01:09:51,954 --> 01:09:54,752
Does the boss know that you're hanging
around with a road company Tarzan?
769
01:09:54,857 --> 01:09:57,291
What have you found out
about Keyes?
770
01:09:57,393 --> 01:10:00,521
- While he is languishing away in a Mexican jail?
- Mildred, the business at hand!
771
01:10:06,101 --> 01:10:09,969
- Conchita, what are you doing here?
- Oh, I'm bored, Antonio.
772
01:10:10,072 --> 01:10:13,473
- And oily.
- Put it in neutral. Come on.
773
01:10:15,110 --> 01:10:16,475
Wait!
774
01:10:20,082 --> 01:10:22,107
- Antonio!
- Shh!
775
01:10:24,887 --> 01:10:28,288
Under the bed. Under the-
Get under the bed!
776
01:10:28,390 --> 01:10:32,451
- Stay put.
- Are you sure you mean under the bed?
777
01:10:32,561 --> 01:10:35,689
And not a peep.
778
01:10:35,798 --> 01:10:37,698
- Peep!
- Get down!
779
01:10:44,273 --> 01:10:48,004
- Anthony, wasn't it?
- Still is.
780
01:10:48,110 --> 01:10:51,568
Acquired a taste
for fish eggs, have you?
781
01:10:51,680 --> 01:10:54,808
- I thought you were in jail.
- Yeah, I bet you did.
782
01:10:54,917 --> 01:10:59,081
Tony, I thought I heard-
Mr. Steele.
783
01:10:59,188 --> 01:11:03,022
- Mr. Steele?
- She's always so formal when we have guests.
784
01:11:03,125 --> 01:11:04,922
What are you doing here, boss?
785
01:11:05,027 --> 01:11:07,086
The jungle got
a little crowded, Mildred.
786
01:11:07,196 --> 01:11:13,066
- How did you get out of jail?
- We, uh, made a back door.
787
01:11:13,168 --> 01:11:15,033
Didn't we agree
that I would do the investigating?
788
01:11:15,137 --> 01:11:19,267
Remember those gallows
I was telling you about? They're up.
789
01:11:19,375 --> 01:11:21,206
Did you find out
who Keyes's beneficiary is?
790
01:11:21,310 --> 01:11:23,870
Yeah, it's his niece. She's supposed
to be coming down here. Her name's-
791
01:11:23,979 --> 01:11:26,413
- Danielle Scribner.
- How did you know that?
792
01:11:26,515 --> 01:11:30,451
- She's already down here to claim the body.
- That's one expeditious niece.
793
01:11:30,552 --> 01:11:33,817
If she really is his niece.
794
01:11:33,922 --> 01:11:38,256
Se�ora Steele?
This is Captain Su�rez.
795
01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:40,385
I must speak with you.
796
01:11:41,864 --> 01:11:44,332
- Quick. Under the bed.
- What? Under the bed? Oh!
797
01:11:44,433 --> 01:11:48,062
Shh!
798
01:11:48,170 --> 01:11:50,434
Okay.
799
01:11:50,539 --> 01:11:52,734
It's open.!
800
01:12:02,685 --> 01:12:05,153
Hola.
801
01:12:09,858 --> 01:12:12,793
Can I help you find something?
802
01:12:12,895 --> 01:12:15,728
Mm-hmm.
Your husband.
803
01:12:15,831 --> 01:12:19,358
- My husband?
- Come, come, Se�ora Steele.
804
01:12:19,468 --> 01:12:24,098
Do not try to tell me you do not know
your husband broke out of my jail today.
805
01:12:24,206 --> 01:12:27,073
- I know he did.
- Do you also know where he is?
806
01:12:27,176 --> 01:12:29,406
- Yes.
- I'm listening.
807
01:12:29,511 --> 01:12:33,470
The last I heard,
he was heading for the Hotel del Amor.
808
01:12:33,582 --> 01:12:36,073
He thinks something there
can prove his innocence.
809
01:12:37,286 --> 01:12:39,754
Very well.
I will see if he's there.
810
01:12:39,855 --> 01:12:42,688
But do not leave this area
until I come back.
811
01:12:44,093 --> 01:12:46,186
Hasta luego.
812
01:12:50,566 --> 01:12:54,468
Whew! That was close.
813
01:12:54,570 --> 01:12:57,596
Oh, boy.
814
01:12:57,706 --> 01:13:01,107
The maid service around here
is deplorable. Whew!
815
01:13:01,210 --> 01:13:04,646
You wouldn't believe
the lint under this bed.
816
01:13:04,747 --> 01:13:07,079
We haven't got much time.
Now, we all agree...
817
01:13:07,182 --> 01:13:10,208
that the so-called niece
killed Keyes for his insurance, right?
818
01:13:10,319 --> 01:13:15,382
- Right. But how do we prove it?
- If she claims the body today and flies home, forget it.
819
01:13:15,491 --> 01:13:18,551
In that case, how are you
at grave-robbing, Anthony?
820
01:13:18,660 --> 01:13:22,528
- I'm an archaeologist, remember?
- Uh-huh. How could I forget?
821
01:13:22,631 --> 01:13:25,566
You'll have to detain the niece
until the funeral home closes, Laura.
822
01:13:25,667 --> 01:13:28,227
- Beverly Hills Cop.
- Who?
823
01:13:28,337 --> 01:13:31,101
Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold.
Paramount, 1985.
824
01:13:31,206 --> 01:13:34,642
Excellent, Laura. A couple of well-placed
bananas ought to decommission her car.
825
01:13:34,743 --> 01:13:39,146
So that Tracy Lord can come to the rescue
and chauffeur her wherever she wants to go.
826
01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:44,379
- And get hopelessly lost.
- Aren't they great together?
827
01:13:44,486 --> 01:13:48,252
I'd hate to see anyone
try to mess with this team.
828
01:13:48,357 --> 01:13:52,054
- Mildred, bananas.
- Ape food coming right up.
829
01:13:52,161 --> 01:13:56,154
Come along, Anthony.
It's rude to keep a corpse waiting.
830
01:14:03,572 --> 01:14:05,597
Oh.
831
01:14:05,707 --> 01:14:07,834
Hola.
832
01:14:10,045 --> 01:14:11,945
You must be the lint.
833
01:14:13,148 --> 01:14:14,843
Hmm.
834
01:14:47,816 --> 01:14:50,376
You and the little woman
get those for wedding presents?
835
01:14:53,722 --> 01:14:56,850
She doesn't like to be called
the "little woman. "
836
01:14:56,959 --> 01:14:59,325
Very independent sort, my bride.
837
01:14:59,428 --> 01:15:01,328
Shine the torch over here, will you?
838
01:15:05,334 --> 01:15:07,097
No time to get fancy.
839
01:15:10,005 --> 01:15:13,771
Oh, good.
Now no one will know we're here.
840
01:15:13,876 --> 01:15:16,743
It's open, isn't it?
Come on.
841
01:15:24,820 --> 01:15:28,256
Have any idea what the penalty is
for body-stealing in Mexico?
842
01:15:28,357 --> 01:15:32,191
Can't be any worse
than the penalty for killing one.
843
01:15:32,294 --> 01:15:35,024
Speaking of bodies, uh,
you didn't happen to notice...
844
01:15:35,130 --> 01:15:38,691
that young nubile one
under my bed, did you?
845
01:15:38,800 --> 01:15:41,633
Uh, no, I can't say that I did.
846
01:15:41,737 --> 01:15:44,535
Oh. I thought you
might have misplaced her.
847
01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:49,634
- No, old bones are my bag.
- Pity. She was very friendly.
848
01:15:52,848 --> 01:15:55,180
Keyes's body doesn't seem to be here.
849
01:15:57,920 --> 01:16:00,150
Not entirely anyway.
850
01:16:07,529 --> 01:16:11,397
- Keyes was cremated?
- Unless those are all cigar ashes.
851
01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:14,060
I don't get it. How could his niece
have the body cremated...
852
01:16:14,169 --> 01:16:16,069
if she hasn't even claimed it yet?
853
01:16:16,171 --> 01:16:18,196
- And Then There Were None.
- There's not much.
854
01:16:18,307 --> 01:16:20,332
- Barry Fitzgerald.
- This isn't Keyes?
855
01:16:20,442 --> 01:16:22,569
Walter Houston, Louis Hayward,
C. Aubrey Smith.
856
01:16:22,678 --> 01:16:26,842
- Steele, are you losing it?
- 20th Century Fox, 1945.
857
01:16:26,949 --> 01:16:29,645
- Another movie?
- No, the solution to this case.
858
01:16:29,751 --> 01:16:32,549
Grab that urn.
Keyes is alive.
859
01:16:42,230 --> 01:16:45,666
It was there all along...
right under my nose.
860
01:16:45,767 --> 01:16:49,464
- What are you smelling, chief?
- Keyes faked his own murder...
861
01:16:49,571 --> 01:16:52,335
just the way Barry Fitzgerald did
in And Then There Were None.
862
01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:54,102
But you saw him dead.
863
01:16:54,209 --> 01:16:56,734
- The Devil's Playground.
- Precisely.
864
01:16:56,845 --> 01:16:58,745
Those two have a hell of a code.
865
01:16:58,847 --> 01:17:01,543
And I pity the guy
who tries to crack it.
866
01:17:03,151 --> 01:17:06,177
A few years ago, Tony,
we had a similar case...
867
01:17:06,288 --> 01:17:11,021
where a so-called victim feigned her own
death by using the drug digitalis leaf.
868
01:17:11,126 --> 01:17:13,993
The proper dosage would've
slowed Keyes's pulse and heart rate...
869
01:17:14,096 --> 01:17:16,929
to the point where only a perceptive doctor
could tell he wasn't actually dead.
870
01:17:17,032 --> 01:17:20,229
- That slimeball!
- He changed our travel plans.
871
01:17:20,335 --> 01:17:22,303
He wanted it to look as if
you were following him.
872
01:17:22,404 --> 01:17:24,634
And then, he staged
enough public confrontations...
873
01:17:24,740 --> 01:17:28,642
to give the police all the motive
they needed to arrest me for his murder.
874
01:17:28,744 --> 01:17:31,212
That lowlife slimeball!
875
01:17:31,313 --> 01:17:34,578
Enter his accomplice, who made it look
as if Keyes had been cremated.
876
01:17:34,683 --> 01:17:38,119
Which makes it absolutely impossible
for anyone to prove he isn't really dead.
877
01:17:38,220 --> 01:17:41,087
I love it when they're on a roll.
878
01:17:41,189 --> 01:17:43,714
All this because he thought
your marriage wasn't legit?
879
01:17:43,825 --> 01:17:46,385
Among other things.
880
01:17:46,495 --> 01:17:48,929
Such as a $2 million insurance payoff.
881
01:17:49,031 --> 01:17:52,262
Plus, the twisted satisfaction
of knowing that Mr. -
882
01:17:52,367 --> 01:17:55,894
that Remington was rotting in
a Mexican jail for a murder that never was.
883
01:17:56,004 --> 01:17:59,337
That slimy, lowlife slimeball!
884
01:17:59,441 --> 01:18:02,137
Redundant but accurate, Mildred.
885
01:18:02,244 --> 01:18:07,375
Well, believing Keyes
is still alive is one thing.
886
01:18:07,482 --> 01:18:09,473
Proving it is another kettle of fish.
887
01:18:09,584 --> 01:18:12,519
Piece of cake.
888
01:18:12,621 --> 01:18:16,113
He's got a plan.
Lay it on us, boss.
889
01:18:16,224 --> 01:18:20,217
All we have to do is force the niece
to make contact with Keyes.
890
01:18:20,328 --> 01:18:23,320
- And then we have him.
- Exactly how do we do that?
891
01:18:23,432 --> 01:18:25,400
Hmm.
892
01:18:50,325 --> 01:18:55,024
Uh-huh. Well, it's just a matter of moments
now before she goes running to Keyes.
893
01:19:09,010 --> 01:19:11,478
She hasn't moved.
894
01:19:14,783 --> 01:19:19,550
Well, at least we can say
we were up all night on our honeymoon.
895
01:19:22,290 --> 01:19:24,190
- Thanks.
- Anything?
896
01:19:24,292 --> 01:19:26,419
I think she's sleeping in.
897
01:19:28,630 --> 01:19:33,829
- Do you mind if I ask you a personal question, Anthony?
- Depends.
898
01:19:33,935 --> 01:19:36,631
I know I can speak
for Mrs. Steele when I say...
899
01:19:36,738 --> 01:19:39,332
we both enjoy
your company immensely.
900
01:19:39,441 --> 01:19:41,932
However, um...
901
01:19:42,043 --> 01:19:44,011
haven't you got any other friends?
902
01:19:44,112 --> 01:19:48,105
I'm not due at the dig for a couple of days.
But if I'm in the way here-
903
01:19:48,216 --> 01:19:50,184
No, no. Not at all.
904
01:19:50,285 --> 01:19:52,947
My husband is just trying
to thank you...
905
01:19:53,054 --> 01:19:56,251
for your generous help
in his own unique way.
906
01:19:56,358 --> 01:19:58,326
Oh.
907
01:19:59,461 --> 01:20:01,656
Boy, this is one crowded bush.
908
01:20:01,763 --> 01:20:04,061
Mildred, why aren't you
manning the switchboard?
909
01:20:04,166 --> 01:20:08,432
Because the niece called for an airport taxi.
She's heading back for L.A.
910
01:20:08,537 --> 01:20:10,801
Piece of cake, huh?
911
01:20:10,906 --> 01:20:13,466
- She's going home!
- Every plan has a flaw.
912
01:20:13,575 --> 01:20:15,634
Hey, hey.
913
01:20:31,993 --> 01:20:34,826
Why is she using a taxi
when she can use Keyes's car?
914
01:20:36,198 --> 01:20:38,325
Hate to admit it,
but that's a good question.
915
01:20:38,433 --> 01:20:40,298
Maybe she's just a decoy.
916
01:20:40,402 --> 01:20:43,462
Or maybe Keyes
is waiting for her at the airport.
917
01:20:43,572 --> 01:20:46,040
Okay, you two follow the niece.
918
01:20:46,141 --> 01:20:48,769
- Mrs. Steele and I will keep an eye on the car.
- Okay.
919
01:20:51,546 --> 01:20:53,946
�Alto.! �Alto.!
Hey!
920
01:20:54,049 --> 01:20:56,609
"El taxio. "
921
01:20:56,718 --> 01:20:59,278
- Aeropuerto, pronto.
- S�, se�ora.
922
01:20:59,387 --> 01:21:01,912
Weren't you
the wine-and-cheese basket?
923
01:21:02,023 --> 01:21:03,820
No comprendo, se�orita.
924
01:21:03,925 --> 01:21:07,292
That's a nice vase.
Where'd you get it?
925
01:21:07,395 --> 01:21:09,454
- It's an urn.
- Oh.
926
01:21:09,564 --> 01:21:11,532
Anybody I know?
927
01:21:32,320 --> 01:21:36,381
- Who's she?
- No comprendo, se�ora.
928
01:22:05,954 --> 01:22:09,185
I'd recognize Keyes'
ugly luggage anywhere.
929
01:22:15,130 --> 01:22:17,928
Should we see where it's going? Hmm?
930
01:23:16,758 --> 01:23:18,988
What are you waiting for?
931
01:23:19,094 --> 01:23:21,324
Never mind.
Just stop that urn!
932
01:23:25,166 --> 01:23:27,498
Conchita, let go of me. Conchita, let go!
933
01:23:27,602 --> 01:23:31,265
No! Always you want to leave
except when we are in bed.
934
01:23:31,373 --> 01:23:34,638
Let's go to your room, Antonio.
The urge is with me.
935
01:23:34,743 --> 01:23:37,234
Are you crazy?
I've almost got this thing wrapped up.
936
01:23:37,345 --> 01:23:39,609
But there will be another way
to get to America.
937
01:23:39,714 --> 01:23:42,615
- Not for me.
- It's her, isn't it?
938
01:23:42,717 --> 01:23:45,618
- Who?
- That gringa brunette.
939
01:23:45,720 --> 01:23:48,848
- She's a case, Conchita.
- You're telling me.
940
01:23:48,957 --> 01:23:51,221
I don't know what's eating you,
but you're starting to get to me.
941
01:23:51,326 --> 01:23:54,921
You have pushed me aside, ignored me.
I had to hide under the bed.
942
01:23:55,030 --> 01:23:57,430
I got sunburned!
And why?
943
01:23:57,532 --> 01:24:00,558
So you could be with her?
944
01:24:00,668 --> 01:24:03,694
Stop it!
Right now.
945
01:24:05,907 --> 01:24:11,277
If you leave now, I will have to take
that dinner invitation from your boss.
946
01:24:11,379 --> 01:24:13,472
Make sure he takes you to a nice place.
947
01:24:13,581 --> 01:24:15,515
You'll earn it.
948
01:24:15,617 --> 01:24:18,211
Well, the joke is on you!
949
01:24:18,319 --> 01:24:21,186
I have already had dinner
with your boss.
950
01:24:21,289 --> 01:24:23,450
And breakfast too!
951
01:24:52,253 --> 01:24:54,983
She stole it from me.
It's mine, I tell you!
952
01:24:55,090 --> 01:24:57,820
I want that urn back.
Do you understand me? That's my urn!
953
01:24:57,926 --> 01:25:00,326
Back off, blondie.
It's my urn.
954
01:25:00,428 --> 01:25:04,592
Here. Ask this man.
He knows who the urn belongs to.
955
01:25:04,699 --> 01:25:06,667
- Well, go on. Ask him.
- �Qu�?
956
01:25:12,040 --> 01:25:15,441
Well, go on. Tell him.
957
01:25:15,543 --> 01:25:18,273
- What? Are you loco?
- Come along, ladies.
958
01:25:18,379 --> 01:25:21,314
We must explore this more fully.
959
01:25:21,416 --> 01:25:23,384
Who are you?
960
01:25:55,683 --> 01:25:58,447
Mm-hmm.
My kind of hideout.
961
01:25:58,553 --> 01:26:01,454
I never realized Keyes
had such exquisite taste.
962
01:26:01,556 --> 01:26:03,456
Mmm.
963
01:26:06,427 --> 01:26:08,327
Ooh-wee!
964
01:26:08,429 --> 01:26:14,026
Huh. Amazing how a couple of million
swindled dollars can change a man, isn't it?
965
01:26:15,069 --> 01:26:17,037
Oh.
966
01:26:18,773 --> 01:26:22,231
Take a whiff.
967
01:26:22,343 --> 01:26:24,243
- Cheap cigars.
- Mm-hmm.
968
01:26:24,345 --> 01:26:26,245
- He's here, all right.
- Mmm.
969
01:26:26,347 --> 01:26:28,941
I can almost hear him cackling.
970
01:27:15,563 --> 01:27:17,963
Can you believe this place?
971
01:27:20,668 --> 01:27:24,502
Huh. It even has a see-through floor.
972
01:27:24,606 --> 01:27:27,666
Yep. It's got everything
but Keyes, damn it.
973
01:27:27,775 --> 01:27:31,438
I know he's here.
I know it. I can feel it.
974
01:27:32,981 --> 01:27:35,245
Chalk one up for instincts.
975
01:27:36,985 --> 01:27:39,078
I told you he was alive.
976
01:27:39,187 --> 01:27:41,815
- Who doubted you?
- I did!
977
01:27:43,324 --> 01:27:45,053
�Alto.!
978
01:28:05,847 --> 01:28:08,816
He's getting away!
979
01:28:08,916 --> 01:28:10,474
The hell he is!
980
01:29:15,950 --> 01:29:17,918
You see him?
981
01:29:22,890 --> 01:29:25,324
Hey, doesn't that bus
look awfully familiar, eh?
982
01:29:28,596 --> 01:29:32,464
Do you suppose Keyes is heading
for that airstrip we came in on?
983
01:29:32,567 --> 01:29:35,365
It's a good way
to get out of the country undetected.
984
01:29:45,613 --> 01:29:47,513
Look!
985
01:29:53,788 --> 01:29:56,689
Hey!
986
01:30:11,205 --> 01:30:14,402
Come on. Come on!
987
01:30:14,509 --> 01:30:18,172
- This thing's even slower than the limo.
- You're losing him!
988
01:30:20,281 --> 01:30:22,749
Well, at least we know
where he's going.
989
01:30:22,850 --> 01:30:26,377
I hope.
990
01:30:30,892 --> 01:30:34,521
- �Malvados?
- Worse.
991
01:30:38,065 --> 01:30:40,761
If we don't catch Keyes
before the police catch us-
992
01:30:40,868 --> 01:30:45,202
That kind of talk isn't gonna
make this bus go any faster.
993
01:32:03,584 --> 01:32:06,052
Get up here, Keyes!
Easy now.
994
01:32:06,153 --> 01:32:09,179
You can run, Keyes,
but you can't hide.
995
01:32:11,659 --> 01:32:16,392
�Se�or Steele.! Do not move,
or I will be forced to open fire.
996
01:32:16,497 --> 01:32:19,728
All right, all right.
Just don't shoot, okay?
997
01:32:19,834 --> 01:32:23,395
Don't you recognize that man?
You can't just let him get away.
998
01:32:50,264 --> 01:32:53,495
I believe that's the man
I supposedly murdered two nights ago.
999
01:33:00,341 --> 01:33:02,241
Okay.
1000
01:33:02,343 --> 01:33:05,244
It took a few pesos, but I got 'em
to bump a couple out of first class.
1001
01:33:05,346 --> 01:33:06,836
- Here you go.
- Great, Mildred. Great.
1002
01:33:06,948 --> 01:33:09,473
- Well, how are you traveling, Mildred?
- Tourist.
1003
01:33:09,584 --> 01:33:11,882
Oh, I figure three's a crowd
on a honeymoon.
1004
01:33:11,986 --> 01:33:17,083
Mmm. Well, three seems to be par
for the course on this honeymoon, doesn't it?
1005
01:33:18,326 --> 01:33:21,591
Honeymoon?
I just realized.
1006
01:33:21,696 --> 01:33:24,130
- We never took any honeymoon pictures.
- So?
1007
01:33:24,231 --> 01:33:28,292
Remember the lady from you-know-where
who wanted proof of you-know-what?
1008
01:33:28,402 --> 01:33:31,963
Oh, yes, of course. How could I forget?
Get the camera there.
1009
01:33:32,073 --> 01:33:34,940
Anthony, would you do us a favor
and just click one of these?
1010
01:33:35,042 --> 01:33:37,067
It's the little button right up there.
Right there.
1011
01:33:37,178 --> 01:33:39,146
Gladly.
1012
01:33:47,188 --> 01:33:49,088
- Oh, listen, we gotta get going.
- Okay.
1013
01:33:49,190 --> 01:33:52,921
Well, Anthony, what can I say?
It's been an experience.
1014
01:33:53,027 --> 01:33:55,757
I'll never be able to look back
on my honeymoon without thinking of you.
1015
01:33:57,231 --> 01:33:58,960
I can't thank you enough
for all your help.
1016
01:33:59,066 --> 01:34:01,899
It's been my pleasure.
Hey, we never would have met...
1017
01:34:02,003 --> 01:34:03,903
if the original plans
hadn't been canceled.
1018
01:34:04,005 --> 01:34:06,132
Don't say that word.
1019
01:34:06,240 --> 01:34:09,903
- Heading back to the monuments?
- As soon as your plane takes off.
1020
01:34:10,011 --> 01:34:12,571
Well, good-bye.
1021
01:34:12,680 --> 01:34:14,580
- Adios.
- Bye, Remington.
1022
01:34:14,682 --> 01:34:16,582
- Happy diggin'.
- Bye-bye.
1023
01:34:16,684 --> 01:34:18,743
- Bye.
- Oh.
1024
01:34:27,962 --> 01:34:30,453
When's your next flight
to Los Angeles?
1025
01:34:38,272 --> 01:34:41,537
Looks like it's smooth sailing
from here on in.
1026
01:34:41,642 --> 01:34:45,510
Here's to finishing in Los Angeles
what we started in Mexico.
1027
01:34:50,618 --> 01:34:52,950
Let's try this again, shall we?
1028
01:34:53,000 --> 01:34:57,550
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