All language subtitles for Remington Steele s02e19 teele.eng

Good work, Mr. Steele.

These are some
of the best fakes I've ever seen.

What are you talking about? Those are
the real stones. I checked them myself.

Well, you'd better find the jewels
and the thief...

Laura, or they're going
to say you stole them.

[ Laura Screams ]

- The price as agreed?
- Mm-hmm.

- [ Steele ] Oh, so-
- The man's a fraud, a common thief!

[ Steele Shouting, Indistinct ]

[ Chattering ]

[ Laura ] Looks as if you're about to go up,
Mr. Steele. Do you have your remarks ready?

Indeed, Miss Holt. I thought I might talk
about how I handled the Andreas affair.

Remember? A cuckolded husband, a mysterious
woman in a wet suit, death by cattle prod.

- [ Clears Throat ]
- The Andreas affair? You intend to go up there...

and take credit for the fact that I had to
climb 1 5 stories up an elevator shaft...

to find the murder weapon while you were
out dining on a yacht at a party in your honor?

You wouldn't say that, Laura,
if you were on board that yacht. [ Groans ]

- Some of the worst veal marsala I've ever endured.
- [ Glass Clinking ]

Ladies and gentlemen,
it gives me the greatest pleasure...

to introduce to you
our newest American hero, Remington Steele.

[ Applause ]

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you so much indeed.

Rather than bore you
with tiring anecdotes...

I might field a question or two.

- Yes, madam.
- Mr. Steele, in one of your early cases...

you were hired to protect
the rarest gems in the world.

Yes. You refer...

to the South African stones
of Royal Lavulite.

Yes, stones so blue, it is said
they were once pieces of the sky.

Whatever happened to that assistant
of yours, the one who nearly bungled the case?

Miss Bolt, was it? A Nora Bolt?

I trust you encouraged her
to find another line of work.

Alas, she still works for me,
madam...

because there but for the grace
of God go I.

That's it!
I've heard more than enough!

- [ Yelps ]
- You see this man, this so-called Remington Steele?

- Aah!
- Well, take your last look at him...

- because he's a paper hero!
- [ Laughing ]

- [ All Gasping ]
- The man's a fraud, a common thief...

a scoundrel who stepped into our lives
two years ago with the sole intent...

of stealing the Royal Lavulite
that I had been hired to protect!

- [ Snaps Fingers ]
- Cuff him!

Then where is
the real Remington Steele?

You're looking at her.
Remington Steele was a name I invented...

to make the public think that they'd hired
a big, strong man to handle their cases.

Take him away!

[ Steele Shouting, Indistinct ]

[ Reporters Clamoring ]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Miss Holt, Miss Holt, Miss Holt.
[ Coughing ]

- A quarter for old time's sake,
eh, Miss Holt, please? - [ Coughing ]

Hmm? Hmm? Yeah.

- [ Coin Clanks ]
- [ Laughs Haughtily ]

Miss Holt-

[ Laugh Echoes ]

- [ Gasps ]
- Ah,you've decided to rejoin us, have you?

[ Groans ]

- How long was I away?
- Oh, about an hour.

[ Clears Throat ]
What was so funny?

You were laughing
in your sleep.

I was dreaming
about this case.

Don't you find it funny that I've put you
in charge of protecting the very jewels...

that you originally came here
to steal two years ago?

Mm. Positively sidesplitting.

You're sure this
is gonna be sufficient?

This briefcase
is absolutely impregnable.

Bulletproof, flameproof, acid-proof.

The only way in
is to use these two latches...

each of which have been set by me
to a combination known only to me.

- And if something were to happen?
- Oh.

Ah, yes, well-
[ Clears Throat ]

anyone attempting to open the case
without the correct combination...

shall find himself the recipient of
a particularly nasty burst of D.C. current-

about a thousand volts, to be precise.

Charming. I knew
I could count on you, Mr. Steele.

Trust.
It's all I've ever asked, Laura.

Well, trust and a new suit
every now and again.

Then tell me. As your precious Royal Lavulite
comes back into our lives again...

- who are you really?
- [ Sighs ]

- Does that really matter?
- It matters only that you won't tell me.

See you in the morning.

[ Mutters ]

[ Man ] And now, ladies and gentlemen,
my fabulous stones of Royal Lavulite.

- [ Applause ]
- [ Laura ] Oh.

- I'd forgotten how beautiful they were.
- I haven't.

Miss Custer,
is Constellation Insurance satisfied...

with Mr. Steele's
security arrangements for the gems?

If we weren't, would we be insuring them
to the tune of $3.6 million?

Oh, yes, yes.
Like pieces of the sky.

That's it. Thank you all
for coming to Santa Barbara.

Hope to see you this evening
at my El Diego Hotel in Los Angeles...

where the stones
will go on permanent display.

[ Flashbulbs Pop ]

- [ Applause ]
- You take good care of them now.

Mr. Steele, how are you going
to transport the stones to Los Angeles?

Mr. Steele has the situation
well in hand.

To confuse any would-be thieves,
we've made reservations...

on every train, plane, bus and boat
leaving this town in the next three hours.

Well, good luck,
Mr. Steele, Miss Holt.

So, how are we getting back to L.A.?
Airplane?

Why fly when you can drive? It's so much
closer to the ground, don't you think?

- Drive?
- Mm.

- All the way there?
- Mm-hmm.

- That's your clever plan?
- Mm-hmm.

To be sitting ducks
on the open road for a hundred miles?

You coming?
[ Sighs ]

[ Groans ]

[ Sighs ]
Guess I must've dozed off, huh?

Mm-hmm. It's becoming a habit.
[ Sniffs ]

- Is that a new perfume?
- [ Laughs ]

I thought it was you.
I think it's this. Yeah, it's on this.

It's kind of- [ Sniffs ]
It's kind of nice. It's-

- [ Sniffs ] sort of musky.
- Yeah.

Have those cars
been behind us all the time?

- Not to worry.
- [ Engine Downshifts ]

Nice move!

Lunch, Miss Holt?

Oh, indeed, Mr. Steele!
I'm famished!

Well, the simple plans are always the best.
If someone follows us up here...

we know it's a tail,
in which case I've come fully prepared.

And if someone is waiting up ahead for us
knowing that we're driving the Rabbit...

then he's gonna
have an awfully long wait...

because after lunch,
we're gonna swap cars...

at the car rental agency over there.

I've taken the liberty of...

reserving
an unassuming domestic sedan...

in the name of
Benjamin Pearson.

Uh-huh.

Voil�.

Chin-chin.

- Splendid vintage.
- Mm.

Looks as if
we might have company.

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Steele ]
Laura! [ Yelps ]

- Laura!
- Come on!

- Lean on me, okay?
- All right. [ Yelps ]

[ Helicopter Whirring ]

- [ Groaning ] Go on. Go ahead.
Go ahead. Go ahead. - All right. All right.

The briefcase isn't here.
It must've been thrown from the car.

Well, it wasn't out of our sight long enough
for someone to run away with it.

Besides, we would've seen him.

Oh! Right as usual, Mr. Steele.

Wonderful! Give it to me.
Oh, what's the combination? Uh-

- I don't know.
- Oh, yeah. That's okay.

All right. Oh. Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.

That's what-That's-

- Oh!
- [ Yelps ] Just to be sure.Just to be sure. Okay?

Sealed tight.

[ Panting ]

This must be how they found
where we were: a homing device.

Oh, I'm not sure which of you
is in worse shape.

I am, because
I don't understand why someone...

would go to so much trouble to
ambush us and then not take the jewels.

They obviously goofed. They didn't mean
to knock the Rabbit down the hill here.

Yeah, well, let's be on our way
before they come back, eh?

One thing
that might come in handy.

I don't know about you, but I always
find violence and destruction gives me a hunger.

Hmm.
[ Grunting, Groaning ]

[ Applause ]

[ Clears Throat, Sighs ]

[ Chuckles ]

- Nice of you to show up, Steele.
- Are you two all right?

Flat tire on Highway 5.
Rolled right into a ditch.

Just the same, we have a delivery to make,
eh, Mr. Holmes?

Would you give the stones to Mr. Doke?
He's Constellation's jewel appraiser...

and he'll authenticate the Lavulite.

It's just a formality,
you understand.

I believe
you'll find everything in order.

Seal intact.

Miss Custer, if you please.

Thank you.

Oh, yes. There we are.

[ Camera Shutter Clicks ]

[ Chuckles ]
Yes.

- Good work, Mr. Steele.
- Thank you so much. Thank you.

These are some
of the best fakes I've ever seen.

Now, please,
I'd like to see the real stones.

Mr. Steele,
may I have the real stones?

- Your joke has gone far enough.
- What are you talking about? Those are the real stones.

- I checked them myself.
- I've been in this business 42 years, Mr. Steele.

I certainly know the difference between
Royal Lavulite and pieces of colored glass.

- What are you trying to pull here, Steele?
- What are you trying to pull?

Those are the real stones.
I'll stake my reputation on it.

- They're garbage, and you're a crook.
- Let me see those stones!

- Let me just see those stones!
Let me see those stones! - Wait a minute!

[ Both Shouting ]

- He's lying, Laura.
- Well, there's only one sure way...

to get to the bottom of this.

Hmm.

- [ Pump Motor Chugging ]
- [ Woman ] Listen, I'm sorry.

I'm beginning
to feel responsible for all of this.

- How's that?
- Well, for hiring you.

I thought this job would be a piece
of cake-you know, good fee...

good P.R. for your agency.

Well, let's just hope
there's been a terrible mistake.

Oh, no mistake. No.

- Doke is doing this intentionally.
- [ Woman ] But why?

What could he hope to gain?

Archie has been with the company
for 42 years.

He's as loyal as the day is long,
and he's a recognized expert in gemology.

- So is Mr. Steele.
- Oh, I know, but...

isn't there any way the stones could've
been switched while you were in transit?

- Weren't they ever out of your sight?
- [ Both ] Never.

Those are the real stones,
I promise you that.

Miss Custer?

- Would you like to examine them again?
- No need.

May I? Miss Holt?

Mr. Doke, it's time we proved you
to be the charlatan you are.

[ Clears Throat ]
Like I said...

Royal Lavulite, so blue...

they're like pieces of the-

Well, Mr. Steele?

Laura, these are fakes.

- So, Remington, they are finally yours.
- Mm.

- And now they're yours,Jacques.
- Bien.

- The price as agreed?
- Mm-hmm.

But tell me-
all the time you were in America...

I have never known you to take so long
to achieve your objective.

There was a woman,Jacques.

I was prepared to forget about the jewels
if I could have had her instead.

- A man can only wait so long.
- Better the jewels.

They are always there
when you want them.

The jewels,
they will never break your heart.

[ Speaking French ]

[ Men Speaking French ]

Light?

You're a long way
from home, Miss Bolt.

Nora Bolt, isn't it?

I've searched the world for you,
Mr. Steele:

Venice, Cairo, Mozambique.

But I was always a step behind.

- Some things never change, do they?
- [ Sobs Hysterically ]

Please, Mr. Steele! Please!

Your leaving forced me
to evaluate my life...

and I realized I was ready to make
emotional commitments after all.

- And have you?
- Many times.

Three in the last hour,
as a matter of fact.

But you're the one I need!
You're the one I want! Please!

Take me back, Mr. Steele!
Take me back!

There, there, Miss Bolt.
Your rhinestones are getting damp.

[ Gasping ]

I'm sorry, Mr. Steele.
I don't know what came over me.

I realized I'm not worthy
of a man like you.

- Please. Accept my apologies.
- [ Clears Throat ]

For old time's sake, eh, Nora?

[ Inaudible Dialogue ]

- [ Gasps ]
- Oh, are you all right?

Uh, sorry, sorry.
Daydreaming.

About Archie Doke?

We know there was no time for the stones
to be switched when we were ambushed...

so somehow,
Doke did it right under our eyes.

- Then why the ambush?
- Why not?

If the ambush succeeds,
he gets the stones there and then...

and if it fails,
it becomes a very clever sleight of hand.

It makes us think
we lost the stones there.

- Ah, but we're a step ahead of Mr. Doke.
- 3906.

[ Groaning ] Ouch.

[ Door Opens ]

[ Laura ]
Mr. Doke? Anybody home?

[ Panting ] I suppose it's too much to ask
for him to have left the Lavulite lying around?

Hey.

Look at this.
His son, you think? Same features.

Yes. What say we just wait for him to come home
and then wring a confession out of him?

[ Steele Sniffing ]

- You smell what I smell?
- The odor that was coming from the briefcase.

- Mm.
- Oh.

- [ Sniffs, Groans ]
- [ Groans ]

- There's no way this is a commercial cologne.
- It smells like insect repellent.

- We'll have it analyzed.
- Yes.

- Oh!
- Aah!

- Nice catch.
- Easy for you to say.

In spite of the way you smell,
at least...

you can have the satisfaction
that you were right.

Our bookworm, Mr. Doke, is definitely
involved in the disappearance of the jewels.

Laura, I repeat:
I still think our best move is to wait...

until he gets home
and then wring a confession out of him.

Someone may have already
done the wringing for us.

[ Doorbell Buzzing ]

- Clarissa, come on in.
- Thank you. Thank you.

I'm glad I caught you. Your Miss Krebs said
that I might find you here.

- I'm glad you came by. As a matter of fact-
- Ah, Miss Custer-

[ Gasps ] Sorry.
I hope I'm not intruding on anything.

- Oh!
- [ Chuckles ] Merely freshening up...

after a run-in
with a bottle of toilet water.

- Oh!
- Actually, we were just on our way to see you.

- Why don't you sit down?
- I, um-

I wanted to be face-to-face with you
to tell you that the agency...

is going to hold up your fee while
they investigate the loss of the jewels...

and I am truly sorry.

What did you want
to see me about?

Well, we're convinced that Archie Doke
is behind the jewels' disappearance.

Oh, you haven't heard.

The paramedics received a phone call,
an anonymous phone call...

a few hours ago, and they found
Archie dead of a heart attack...

with an empty bottle
of nitroglycerin pills in his hand...

and no sign of the jewels.

Tell us about Archie.
Did he have friends, family?

Well, his family were his friends.

His wife, Evie,
died about eight months ago.

They were married for 40 years, and then
there's a son, a marine biologist-Todd.

- He works at the Hayden Institute.
- Is there word on the street?

- Anything about the stones being moved?
- Not so far.

We've contacted all the fences
that deal in that kind of merchandise.

We'll recover the jewels, Clarissa.
I promise you.

Well, you better find
the jewels and the thief, Laura...

or they're going to say you stole them and
chickened out and decided to give them back.

- Help you?
- We're looking for Todd Doke.

You may have just missed him.
I saw him about an hour ago.

He was packing up
to take a leave of absence.

His father just passed away. Todd's
taking the ashes back home to Rhode Island.

- He expecting you?
- [ Steele ] I'm sure it must havejust slipped his mind.

Yeah. Poor guy.

He was so devoted to his dad.

Well, anyway, his lab's in there.
He may still be in.

Attractive creatures. Reminds me
of a woman I used to know in Nice.

- Of course, she was blonde.
- Well, I don't know about your woman in Nice...

but one bite from these guys, and
you'll be dead before you can say "Ouch. ''

- A blonde in Nice?
- Yes. World-class player of chemin de fer.

- And yet you choose to remain here?
- Like the man says...

it's a question of bark versus bite.

Lest you be fooled, Mr. Steele,
I have been known to nip.

One can only hope, Miss Holt.

Well, well, well.

Why don't you check out that whirlybird
while I see what's in there?

- I won't be a moment.
- Mm-hmm.

Ever play chemin de fer?

Hmm.

[ Laura Screams ]

[ Coughing ]
Help!

Laura?

[ Clears Throat,
Exhales Forcefully ]

Hmm.

Oh.!

[ Clears Throat ]
Fine.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

Hmm.

[ Sighs ]

[ Groans ]

[ Whistling ]

[ Screams ]
Oh, my God!

- [ Laura Screaming ]
- Laura!

- [ Continues Screaming ]
- You all right? Come on!

Let's go! Quick! Quick!

- [ Yelps ]
- Calm down. Are you all right?

It wasn't a fair fight!
They have more teeth than I do!

Well, I'd say you more than
held your own, Miss Holt.

- There you go.
- Better than your blonde in Nice?

What?
Oh, this isn't a competition, Laura.

-Just open this.
- Okay.

[ Gasping ]
Oh.

Ah! Don't worry.

[ Sighs ] I had this great idea that
the Royal Lavulite was hidden in there.

Yes. Yes, well, perhaps it was.
In the meantime, that chopper up there...

has a tracking device that could've
been used to home in on the Rabbit.

Come on. Let's go.
Ladies first.

[ Muttering ]
...have your purse.

- Yes, of course. I'm sure
they'll understand. Good-bye. - [ Phone Ringing ]

Hold, please. Okay.

Oh, Miss Holt,
Mr. Steele, any luck?

Indeed, Mildred.
All of it bad.

Mr. Apted called and said he decided not
to hire private detectives after all...

and Mr. Nestor called to say
it would be better for him...

to hire private detectives
who are less newsworthy.

All the calls holding out there
are pretty much the same.

- What do I tell them?
- Drink, Mildred?

Oh, give me a snort
of whatever you've got.

Oh, and this telegram just came-

Thank you.

Well, I didn't think it was possible
for things to get any worse...

but this is from the State Bureau
of Investigative Service.

They've suspended our license, pending
an inquiry into the loss of the Royal Lavulite.

- Oh! Mildred, do me a favor and-
- Ooh.

Sorry. Run this over to the lab,
will you? Tell them it's a rush.

You got it.

Ohh.

- [ Sighs Heavily ]
- Laura, are you all right?

- I think it's time for showers
and a change of clothes. - Oh.

- We have an image to uphold.
- Mm.

[ Doorbell Buzzing ]

- Yes?
- Sorry. Forgot my key.

- Oh!
- Oh.

Pretzels? Got pretzels?

Pretzels.

- I interrupt your shower?
- Huh? Oh, no problem.

You wanna pick up where you left off,
only with some company?

Oh, well, I can't, Nora.
The ball game's starting.

Excuse me.

[ Toy Squeaks ]

You want to get me a beer, Nora?

Sure, honey.

All right, Deacon! Way to hit him!
Way to hit him! That's my boy!

- [ TVChatter ]
- Sack him.!

Sack him! Sack him!
Rubbish! Rubbish! Terrible!

- Who's playing?
- Go on, Deacon!

That's it! Thank you.

- Mmm.
- Move out! Move out! [ Groans ] Nora! Nora!

You're sitting on my-
You're sitting- Oh.

What do you say, lover?
When it comes to ball games...

you wanna be an observer
or a participant?

- Don't- Don't you ever get enough?
- [ Moans ]

[ TVOff

I'll heat up a jar of emotion potion.
What do you say?

I say heat me up
a 20-year-old blonde,

and we may have a deal.

- You're so mean to me!
- [ TVOn ]

Oh, damn it, Nora!

You made me miss the touchdown!

You know, this game
reminds me of the time...

that I was masquerading
as a mercenary in Malaysia...

so that I could smuggle out
the imperial art treasures.

Oh, please, I've heard that story
a thousand times.

Your past was so much more exciting
when I didn't know what it was...

and I could imagine
all sorts of kinky things.

Yes, well, what about the time
I crept into the Palace of Versailles, eh...

and replaced all the mirrors
with one-way glass so that I could-

Boring! Boring! Boring!

[ Indistinct ]

[ Doorbell Buzzing ]

-Just a minute! Hi. Hi.
- [ Babies Gurgling ]

Oh, uh-

- [ Doorbell Buzzing ]
- Coming!

- I'll just be a minute, Count. [ Kisses ]
- [ Laughs ]

Laura, darling!

Oh, and little Nora
and little Remington.

- Honey, Auntie Mildred's here.
- [ Steele ] Ah, Auntie Mildred.

- Darling!
- Good to see you again, angel.

- How are you, my sweet?
- How's everything at the agency going, eh?

It is just great.
It's a big year, my darling.

It seems that everybody
has a reason for hiring a detective.

- Oh, really?
- How's work at the auto plant?

Best thing that ever happened to us,
losing our P.I. license. Wouldn't you say, Nora?

Oh, yes.

No more late-night stakeouts.
No more dodging bullets at every turn.

Now once that whistle blows
at 5:00- [ Whistles ]

sorry, kids- it's straight home
to Nora and the babies.

- How great.
- [ Nora ] And how about you, Mildred?

When are you and the count
gonna settle down and start a family?

Me? Oh, darling.

A housewife?
Over my dead body.

- [ Mildred's Voice Echoing ] Body.
- Dead body.

That's it.
I know where the jewels are hidden.

E-O, eleven

Ocean's 1 1. Frank Sinatra,
Richard Conte and the Rat Pack...

Warner Bros., 1 960.

Mm-hmm.
[ Clears Throat ]

Frank Sinatra plays a former army man
who recruits an old platoon...

to rob some Las Vegas casinos
on New Year's Eve.

But after they rob the casinos,
Richard Conte dies of a heart attack...

so his buddies decide
to hide the money in his coffin...

so they can get it out of the town
without the police finding it.

- Clever.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Until Richard Conte's wife
decides to have him cremated.

But cremation
wouldn't hurt Royal Lavulite.

- Uh-uh.
- [ Door Opening ]

[ Chattering ]

- Thank you very much.
- Good night.

Okay.

Okay.

[ Groans ]

"Smyth, Tim. Simpson, Sam.

Myers, Don. Doke, Archibald.''

- We're going to hell for this, I'm sure.
- No, no, no, no, no.

- No jewels.
- No jewels?

- No. [ Coughs ]
- [ Door Opening ]

[ Both Muttering ]

Ooh!

- Empty.
- Oh, no.

This is just great.

Four years of college,
two years of apprenticeship...

three years
building up the agency, and poof-

my license is suspended,
and I'm stuck in a coffin with you.

- So now we're down to it, eh?
- You're damn right we're down to it.

I never should have put you in charge
of protecting those jewels.

- [ Sighs ]
- And what would you have done differently, Detective Holt?

- The problem is not your competence.
- Oh.

The problem is that I stupidly went ahead
and did something...

I'd sworn I'd never do: put my fate
in someone else's hands.

Maybe it's about time you realize we're
none of us in complete control of our fates.

Well, then, why do I feel embarrassed?
Why do I feel gui-

I didn't steal the damn jewels.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

Do you ever
have dreams, Laura?

About us? About our lives?

I suppose... sometimes.

I've had some dreams recently.
Troubling at first...

but then I realized that they helped
put some things in perspective.

And?

And I, uh-
Ifinally understand...

that I've stayed around not for the promise
of what our relationship might be...

but for the reality of what it is.

Oh, my God. Help!

Help! We're alive in here!

- [ Coughing ]
- Laura, hold me tight!

Mr. Steele,
this is not a good time!

- And start rocking!
- Oh!

[ Grunting ]

[ Both Coughing ]

You oughta think about using microwaves.
Far more fuel efficient.

If someone tries to kill us twice in the same day,
we must be on the right track.

Try this.
Todd and his father steal the jewels...

and Todd plans
on hiding them in the snake tank.

Then his father dies, and Todd decides
to secrete the jewels in his ashes.

But if he has the jewels and we keep spoiling
his hiding places, why doesn't he just run?

- Perhaps he doesn't have the jewels yet.
- Oh.

Oh, Mildred! Sit down.

The way things are going, that chair
could be yours sooner than you think.

I just thought with both of you
in so much trouble...

the least I could do is
burn a little midnight oil.

- How's it burning?
- A lot of smoke.

This lab report came in.
I can't make any sense of it.

Spartina essence
and methyl trichlorosilane.

The scent of an underwater grass
mixed with a chemical binder.

So the scent would stick
to solid objects... like Royal Lavulite.

Why would anybody want the jewels
to smell like underwater grass?

[ Grunts ]
That's it. That's it.

[ Footsteps Approaching ]

This must be where the swans were penned
while the lagoon was being drained.

Right you are, Miss Holt.

- Go away. Go away.
- Over there a bit.

- Huh?
- Right there.

There you go.

- There's another one.
- Oh!

- These swans must have
a wonderful digestive system. - [ Both Groaning ]

Well, they probably
wondered what hit them...

when they smelled their
favorite underwater flora- thanks-

but tasted Royal Lavulite instead.

- [ Groans ]
- [ Grunts ]

[ Steele ]
What's that for? What are you doing?

When Todd Doke finds his jewels missing,
we'll want him to know where to find them.

- [ Both Cough ]
- Hold on. Hold on. Here's one more.

Three more to go.
I think there's three.

- I wish he'd get here already. I'm tired.
- Mm-hmm.

If he doesn't show up,
and we can't return the jewels...

without being accused
of having stolen them in the first place...

well, I'd love to
teach you chemin de fer.

- [ Doorbell Buzzes ]
- Saved by the bell.

It's open.

- The gems, please.
- Oh, what's the rush, mate?

I mean, the funeral home doesn't open
for a few hours yet, hmm?

I mean, you were planning on hiding
the jewels in your father's ashes, weren't you?

That's the irony of it.

I got involved with this
as a favor to my father.

He wanted to lead the high life
before his heart gave out on him.

Well, you know what they say
about the best-laid plans.

And it was a brilliant plan he had.
Putting the fake stones in the lagoon...

long before we were ever there and then
making us think that the real stones were fake...

angering Mr. Steele so that he'd grab
for the stones and they'd fall into the lagoon.

Where the swans
would gobble them up.

My father's legacy.

Thank you very much.
I'll show myself out.

Drop it, buster!
I got it all, chief!

- [ Clarissa ] Not quite all.
- [ Steele ] It had to be you, eh, Clarissa?

I mean, who else could convince a boring
old bookworm like Archie Doke...

that he was missing out
on the finer things of life, eh?

He was a nice little man,
but so shortsighted.

So lost when his wife died,
he came to treasure our friendship.

- Todd, bring me the jewels.
- Mildred, if he moves, shoot him.

Don't kid a kidder, Mr. Steele.
Miss Krebs wouldn't harm a fly.

[ Mildred Gasping ]
Oh!

I'm sorry. I can't.

It's all right, Mildred.
Don't worry about it.

If it's any consolation, Laura,
you and Mr. Steele did a bang-up job-

unfortunately, so good that...

well, I'm going to have to kill you.

I can't afford any loose ends.

It was Todd at the tank, but it was you
who locked us in that coffin, wasn't it?

It was getting risky following you
around, and then I had the thought...

that if you were missing and the jewels
were missing, that it would be case closed.

Now I'm just going
to have to be a little messier.

- Ooh!
- [ Yells ]

[ Both Yell ]

[ Yelling, Grunting ]

[ Steele Shouting, Indistinct ]

[ Screams ]

Laura!

Although I never knew Nora Bolt...

I'm told she was a kindly soul...

who was concerned
only for her friends and family.

Nora, we bid you good-bye.

- If only her mother could've been here.
- [ Sighs ] Her bridge day.

- Or her sister Frances.
- Right in the middle of redoing her den.

Ah, death can be
so inconvenient at times...

but I'm sure Laura
would understand.

- [ Crying ]
- Mm-hmm-hmm-hmm. Yes.

[ Blows, Continues Crying ]

Life is unfair.

I mean, Clarissa survives the fall
off your balcony, and now she and that Todd...

will get out of jail in just a few years,
ready to renew their lives.

But our poor Miss Holt.

Oh, there, there, Mildred.
There, there, there, there, there, there.

Oh, Mr. Steele,
you're the one who must be devastated.

- Oh.
- How on earth will you ever get along without her?

I'll get by.

[ Murmuring ]

Hey.! Don't think...

you can get rid of me that easily,
Mr. Steele.

- Dinner and a movie, Miss Holt?
- Why not?

- Cin-cin.
- Bottoms up.

Lucky girl.
That hedge breaking her fall?

She'll be fine,
but we should let her get some sleep.

Uh- [ Sighs ]

Sweet dreams, Miss Holt.

You too, Mr. Steele.

[ Mews ]

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