All language subtitles for Remington Steele s02e15 You.eng

[ Man Singing Show Tune ]

Those teeth may be the key
to a double murder.

- [ Steele ] These teeth?
- Those teeth.

- He is Dr. Bridges.
- I thought he was Remington Steele.

- He is.
- He is?

This is not a toy.

This is a carefully crafted
alginate impression.

They got Plunkett
out of the pocket!

He's lookin' to pass!
The blitz is on!

Laura and I do have our special way
of working together.

- Stop that tooth!
- [ Screams ]

[ Man, Woman Panting, Moaning ]

- [ Man ] Oh, that's good.
- [ Woman Laughing ]

[ Both Moaning ]

- [ Phone Rings ]
- Oh, yes!

[ Panting ] One of these days, I've gotta
do something about that overbite.

- [ Ringing Continues ]
- [ Exhales ] Oh!

- Hello.
- Hello, Cookie. This is Frances.

- Is Donald there?
- Oh, hello, uh, Mrs. Piper.

- No. Dr. Piper just left.
- He did?

[ Out Of Breath ] I-I'm just taking care of-
of some odds and ends here.

[ Scoffs ]
Well, it certainly sounds that way.

Now, what about my overbite?

[ Chuckles ]
We'll get to it at the convention.

Let's go.

- [ Chuckles ]
- [ Elevator Bell Dings ]

- Morning, Mildred.
- Oh, good morning.

- Is Mr. Steele in?
- No, but there is somebody waiting for you in your office.

- Oh?
- She didn't give me her name.

She just came in,
asked for you...

and sailed into your office
as if it were her own.

Oh, she did mention
that the ficus needed watering.

Laura!

- Laura.! [ Laughing ]
- Oh, my!

- It's Frances!
- [ Kisses ]

Oh! Look at you.

Oh, you little thing!
[ Laughing ]

Oh. I didn't know you and Donald
were coming to L.A.

Well, Donald has one of his conventions,
and I was exhausted.

I just finished redoing the den.
So I left the housekeeper with the kids...

I traded Peggy Burke
my day at carpool...

and I just flew on out here.

Ah. Where's Donald?

Oh, he's over at the, uh,
Brinkley Hotel.

But you know how boring
those things can get.

- [ Sniffles ]
- Frances? Did anything happen?

[ Sniffling ]
Well, you tell me.

For 1 5 years,
we have been married...

and, for 1 5 years, I have gone to every
single one of his conventions-

1 6 if you count the time I was engaged
and I didn't tell Mother.

And now it's finally
in Los Angeles, and, uh-

He didn't take you.

- But why?
- [ Paper Rustling ]

That is why.

" Greenwich Florist Shop.''

" Myrna's Lingerie.''

" Plotkin Jewel-''
I don't get it.

Well, I didn't get
any of it either-

not the roses,
not the nightgown.

- She did.
- She?

Oh, my God, Frances.
Not Donald?

He's having an affair, Laura.

My Donald is having an affair.

- I don't believe it.
- Well, it's true.

And I've let it happen.
I don't know.

I guess I was just
so busy with the house...

and getting Mindy to ballet
and tennis lessons after school-

and Danny has soccer
and his allergist-

that I guess that I just didn't pay enough
attention to Donald.

So he just went out and he found himself
somebody who did.

Frances, are you sure you're not
jumping the gun on this?

Oh, Laura, look at me.

I'm not exactly the size six
I was when we got married.

As much as Donald says he likes to have something
to grab on to, it doesn't mean a thing.

No, Frances.
You look wonderful.

[ Exhales ] And you're my sister,
and you're being nice.

But it's true.
Mother was right.

You should be glad you don't have
someone special enough in your life...

to break your heart, Laura.

- [ Sniffling ]
- I thank the Lord for that every day, Frances.

You are just so lucky.

Look, before you
convince yourself...

- that it's Boom Town all over again-
- What?

Boom Town. MGM, 1 940.
Clark Gable leaves Claudette Colbert for Hedy La-

I didn't know you were
so interested in movies.

[ Chuckles ]
Actually, a friend of mine got me started.

Why don't you take my car,
go back to the loft...

while I go to the hotel
and take a look around?

All right.

- Whatever you learn-
- Oh!

you'll give it to me straight,
won't you?

In Boom Town, Claudette Colbert
ends up in Clark Gable's arms.

Oh.

We'll be out for a while,
Mildred, on official business.

Is there a number to reach you at
in case the boss wants to call?

No, there isn't any.
Mm-hmm.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

[ Both Moaning ]

[ Knocking ]

[ Exhales ]

Unbelievable. I can't
leave you two alone for a minute.

Now, wait a minute.
I started working on the paper.

I swear I did, but I got carried away
with the material.

Howie. Howie, I don't want
to get involved in your personal life.

But you don't cheat on your wife,
and you think I'm a lowlife because I do.

But, Donald, that's what
makes us such great partners.

We complement each other.

Come on.

Let's hear what you did
on the paper.

[ Clears Throat ]

" Ladies and gentlemen,
as we all know...

tic douloureux is a very
interesting condition.''

That's it?
That's what you've done?

Go take a cold shower.

Give me the notes, get the teeth,
and put some clothes on.

We have a paper
to do here.

[ Shower Running ]

- Ah! Good morning, Mildred.
- Oh, good morning, sir.

- Miss Holt in yet?
- She came and went- on a new case that arrived this morning.

- Oh, wonderful. Where shall I meet her?
- I couldn't say.

She just left. She didn't leave
any forwarding number.

- And she didn't leave a message for me?
- Not a word.

- So, we're back to that, are we?
- Back to what?

Mildred, would you be so kind as to read
the wording printed on that door over there?

Remington Steele Investigations.

Thank you. Somehow, Miss Holt has a way
of conveniently overlooking that fact...

even though she walks
through that door every morning.

I'm sure there's
an explanation for that, boss.

Yes, and I've heard it before, but I thought
she and I had come to a new agreement...

- that she would stop wandering off by herself.
- Oh, Mr. Steele.

- What?
- Please, Mr. Steele. Oh, boss, don't-

You-You're not gonna
fire her, are you?

I'm afraid she's on the thin edge, Mildred.
The thin edge.

Miss Holt is a very hard worker.
I know that you're angry, but-

Oh, please, give her
just one more chance.

Tell me. What mode
of transportation did she use?

- The limo, I think.
- I see.

Would you be good enough
to call Fred on the car phone?

Can't have her wandering off by herself
on a case. Far too inexperienced.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[ Door Slams ]

Excuse me.

Would you care to sample
some of our chocolates?

No.

No. No, thank you.
I- Um-

Hello. Could you tell me, please,
what room Dr. Donald Piper is in?

- It's 31 2.
- 31 2.

In what room do I find
a Dr. Howard Sabatchnik?

- That's 31 4.
- [ Tapping Fingers ]

- [ Shower Running ]
- [ Donald ] Tic douloureux, also known as trigeminal neuralgia...

manifesting in bouts
of severe, brief lacerating pain...

in distribution of one or more divisions
of the fifth cranial nerve...

most often found
in the superior mandibula or the maxillary.

- [ Knocking ]
- [ Murmurs ]

- Laura. Hi!
- Hi, Don.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

Laura, this is my assistant, Cookie.

She's quite a help,
I'm sure.

How about a drink?
Downstairs.

I'm ready anytime
you are, Doctor.

[ Clears Throat ]
Take five, Cookie- Miss Widdoes.

- [ Sighs ]
- Let's-

- [ Exhales ]
- Laura, I know what you're thinking.

- That's not too hard, Donald.
- [ Elevator Bell Dings ]

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

[ Knocking ]

Why, Mr. Whittaker,
what are you doing here?

[ Silenced Gunshots ]

[ Howard Singing Show Tune ]

[ Singing Stops ]

[ Body Thuds ]

[ Grunts ]

- [ Piano: Lounge ]
- Now, Laura, what you just saw- it is not what you think.

- [ Piano: Lounge ]
- Now, Laura, what you just saw- it is not what you think.

You mean what looks to me like
a half-dressed woman on a half-made bed...

in the middle of my sister's husband's
hotel room is not what I think?

- Right.
- Okay. What is it?

It is a purely
professional relationship.

And that's just one of the many things
you two professionals share?

Believe me.
Cookie is a fantastic dental assistant.

She's got a light touch.
She's good with the uppers, the lowers.

She's experienced. When that office
gets hoppin', she jumps right in there.

- She gets the job done.
- I bet she does.

That silk robe- is that always part
of her professional uniform...

or is it only when she jumps in there
and gets the job done?

Laura- Laura,
I know how it looks.

But this is me, right?
Please. Please trust me.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

Why didn't you bring Frances?

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

Maybe I'm being
a bit protective...

but I can't expose her
to what goes on at these conventions.

Donald, she's been to 1 5.

- Sixteen if you count the time you were engaged.
- Yes, yes.

And lately I've noticed an alarming trend
among some of my colleagues.

Their eyes- they're beginning
to wander from home.

How's your eyesight, Donald?

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

Laura, I love my wife.

See, that sort of thing
doesn't interest me.

Of course. How silly of me
to have thought otherwise.

Thank you. You see? I knew-
I knew that you would understand.

Oh, you're great.

Look, I've got
a paper to write...

but why can't we
have dinner tonight?

- Donald, not to press a point.
- Yes?

- But where is Cookie staying?
- With a friend.

You are the greatest. You are the greatest
sister-in-law a guy could ever, ever have.

I love-
Oh, you're won-

[ Woman ] Well, of course
you all get a welcome kiss.

Welcome to the convention.

Oh, have a wonderful-[ Kissing ]
time.

- Hello, Doc. Welcome... to the convention.
- Mm. Mm. Excuse me.

Thank you very much indeed.
Thank you.

Wendell.
Wendell Whittaker.

- What are you doing here?
- Uh, vacation.

You're not gonna believe this,
but I was thinking about you just now.

- Really?
- Yeah. I'm gonna make you famous.

Oh, is that so?

Do you remember when you came up
to the office with your tic douloureux?

Well, Howie and I, tomorrow,
are presenting a paper on it.

Who knows? From the size of this convention,
we might even get a little TV coverage.

- TV?
- Yeah.

- Why don't we go up to your room?
You can tell me all about it. - Good.

- I'd love to hear about it. I'll be your audience.
- Sure. Okay, yeah.

- Sounds fascinating.
- Stop! Stop!

- Mind if I steal him a moment?
- Don't forget. TV, radio. Maybe even a docudrama.

- Have we met before?
- Uh, Dr. Bridges. Dr. Stanley Bridges.

No, I don't think so.
Oh, I know.

- [ Laughs ] Cleveland convention, right?
- Uh-huh. Dr. Piper.

- Oh, no, no, no. Call me Donald.
- Ah, well, Donald.

Here to shake loose,
kick up your heels?

Seems to be the general rule
at these things, doesn't it?

Oh, I don't know. One could always
look up long-lost family or friends...

or perhaps even hire a private detective
to find someone for you.

That would go over big
in Connecticut.

I could just imagine a private detective
sauntering up to my hou- Bingo would love it.

- Bingo?
- My daughter Mindy's German shepherd.

My wife hates him because he sheds.
Sheds all over the house.

- But Mindy and my son love him.
- Is your wife here?

- No, no. Thank the Lord, no.
- [ People Laughing ]

- Hey, Piper!Join the party.
- No, no. Wait, guys.

I gotta help Howie
with the paper.

- Are you still bailing Howie out, Donald?
- No, no. I don't do that.

- Don't worry. We'll all work on the paper.
- Guys! Guys!Just a second!

Just a second.

Hazel, I don't care
what Danny says.

He is not allowed to have
toasted marshmallows for dinner.

After all,
his father is a dentist.

Really?
When did they call?

Oh, dear.
That's just horrible.

Well, yes,
I'll try and get him.

Uh-huh. Oh, oh, oh.
And, Hazel, please...

remind Mindy
to put in her bite plate.

Okay, yes. Thank you. Love to all.
[ Kisses ]

Everything all right
with the kids?

Yes, but it seems
there's been a terrible fire...

and one of Donald's patients died-
Wendell Whittaker.

The fire was so bad that the police
called Donald for the dental records.

Oh, they probably
had to make a positive I.D.

- Look what I bought.
- Oh, great. I could use a glass.

[ Laughs ]
Coming up.

W-W-Wait a minute. You're trying
to get me drunk for a reason.

Don't be silly.

You remember that time, right after
Dad left, Mom had that man over?

Oh, yes. And you spilled
red wine all over the carpet.

- Boy, did I get it for not watching you.
- Sorry.

[ Scoffs ]
"Sorry.''

You know,
I can just picture it.

After 1 5 years,
he ends it with, " Sorry.''

Donald saw you and told you
he was finished with me, didn't he?

No, no. It's nothing like that.

Come on. I know
what you think of me, Laura.

After all, what am I?
Just a typical suburban housewife-

two kids, a mink coat
and station wagon, right?

Frances, you're my sister.

You're bright.
You're beautiful.

I don't see you quitting your job
and signing up for carpool.

I don't wanna quit my job...

but that doesn't mean
I've ruled out a husband and family.

- Did you ever tell Mother that?
- And see my name plastered in the yellow pages?

- Come on, Frances.
-"Come on, Frances''what?

You don't wanna tell her because
it's something she wants you to do.

The only thing I know my mother
has wanted me to do all my life...

was be exactly like you.

All my life, I've heard, " Why can't you be like
your sister Frances?

" Why can't you talk
like your sister Frances?

Why don't you have friends
like your sister Frances?''

The least you could have done
was try a little harder.

I could've used a little relief
from being the perfect one.

You don't know what it was like, Laura-
never doing what I wanted to do...

not even knowing what it was
I wanted to do.

- [ Exhales ]
- You know, I never told you this.

But six months
after Daddy left...

Mother came up to me,
and she took her engagement ring off.

I remember she was
crying at the time...

and she said that she
would keep it off...

until she saw one
on my finger.

Laura, I don't know. Sometimes I don't know
whose life I'm leading-

mine or the one
Mother always wanted.

Well, anyway,
you're the lucky one.

- You got away.
- No, Frances. I ran away.

[ Doorbell Buzzes ]

Oh, Laura. How very nice
to see you here.

Mr. Steele.
What an unexpected surprise.

- Ah!
- This is my sister, Frances.

Oh, your sister.
What a pleasure.

Laura's told me a great deal
about working with you, Mr. Steele.

Has she now?
Well, Laura and I do have...

our special way
of working together.

How would you categorize it,
Miss Holt?

For instance, today-
what would you call that...

your own special brand
of secret service?

[ Forced Laugh ]
There's nothing secret about it.

- I was at a pier.
- At the pier, were we? Ah.

- With a client.
- Oh,yes. I forgot.

Yes, Mildred did seem
to mention something...

about, uh,
an out-of-towner.

- Mm. Married, wasn't he?
- He didn't say.

Nothing at all about a wife,
uh, kiddies, a job even?

Huh. How surprising.
And it seemed so crucial to the case.

If he didn't tell you,
it can only mean one thing, Laura.

- It didn't come up, Frances.
- Well, of course it didn't, because he's lying.

He is lying to you, Laura,
just like he's lying to his wife.

Just like he's lying-
[ Sobs ]

It's an epidemic!

[ Sobbing ]
Oh, God.

Uh, did I start something?

[ Sobbing, Murmuring ]

- [ No Audible Dialogue ]
- [ Sobbing Continues ]

Come on, Piper!
The fun's just beginning.

- It's over for me, fellas.
- Don't give me that stuff about work.

- Who you got in there?
- [ All Chattering ]

Give me a break, will ya?
Get outta here.

- [ All Sigh ]
- Let's go get some girls.

[ Chattering, Laughing Continue ]

I don't believe this.
Animals.

Howie? Howie! What's the matter,
one room isn't enough for you?

Look, Howie, there's a spot
on the wall you missed.

Why don't you come in
and finish it?

[ Exhales ]
Amazing.Just amazing.

Oh, no. No, no, no.
Aw, Howie.

That's it! I don't care what you guys
are doin'. I'm comin' in!

- [ Water Running ]
- Howie!

You're still in the shower?
That's very bad for you, Howie.

You'll wash away
all your natural oils.

Oh, my God.

[ Ringing ]

- Hello?
- [ Donald ] Laura?

- You gotta get over here.
- What happened?

It is too late for questions.
Get over here right now.

- [ Dial Tone ]
- But-

Wendell. Oh, boy,
am I glad to see you.

You won't believe
what I found.

Tell me all about it, Donald.

[ Donald ]
I don't understand.

Why would anyone
wanna kill How-

His wife. His wife found out
he was having an affair.

- Oh, boy.
- Donald, stand still, will ya?

It's- It's hard to get a bead
on what you're saying.

- You're all over the place.
- I-I'm sorry.

Yeah. That's much better.

I've never run in
to anything like this before.

Well, you just never really know
when the end is coming.

- [ Laughing, Shouting ]
- Hey, Donald! Look what we found.

- No, no.
- Don't worry. We brought one for you!

- I don't want any.
- What about your friend here?

- He doesn't want any either.
- Where's Howie? We gotta get Howie!

- No! Don't go in here. Right, Wendell?
- Right.

- What can Howie be doing
that I haven't done already? - Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

- Believe me, Howie's
doing nothing. Right, Wendell? - Right.

- Hold down the fort.
- Right.

- [ Shouting ]
- They got Plunkett out of the pocket!

He's lookin' to pass!
The blitz is on!

- Wait, wait, wait! No, no, no, no!
- [ Shouting, Chattering ]

- An interception!
- Don't do that!

- [ All Shouting ]
- A flea-flicker!

- Come on, come on.
- [ All Cheering ]

- [ Cheering Continues ]
- Laura.!

Laura, over here!
Dr. Bridges,join the party.

- Dr. Bridges?
- The man's obviously mistaken me for one of his colleagues.

- [ Shouting, Chattering ]
- Throw it! Throw it!

[ Cheering ]

- Okay. Which side am I on?
- Hit me! Come on! Come on! Over here! Over here!

- Dr. Bridges. Really!
- [ Shouting Stops ]

This is not a toy.

This is a carefully crafted
alginate impression.

- Ah.
- Laura. Please.

Yes, Doctor.
You, of all people...

should recognize
a carefully crafted alginate impression.

- [ Man Shouting, Indistinct ]
- Hey! Come on, you guys!

I still can't believe it. This is the most
shocking sight I've ever seen.

Come here.

You've already met Miss Widdoes,
my dental assistant.

- The gentleman is my partner,
Howard Sabatchnik. - [ Door Opens, Closes ]

Oh, no. Dr. Bridges, please.
Go in the other room.

Perhaps I can be
of some assistance.

Criminology has always
been a hobby of mine.

- I never miss an Agatha Christie movie.
- Let him stay, Donald.

Apparently there's more to the doctor
than meets the eye.

Poor Howie.

He did the best periodontal flap
in all Connecticut.

Maybe even the whole
eastern seaboard.

Under the circumstances,
I think it's time for the truth, Donald.

Where you and Cookie...
involved?

Laura! Of course not!
I told-

[ Sighs ] She was Howie's
extracurricular activity.

I think it's time
to call the police.

- [ Door Opens ]
- Donald, can I talk to you for a minute alone?

It's all right, Wendell.
We're calling the police.

Good thinking.

[ Door Slams ]

[ Shouting, Chattering Continue ]

- [ Woman ] Let's be the cheerleaders.!
- [ Woman # ] Okay.

[ Laughing Continues ]

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

- [ Man ] I got it.!
- [ Cheering ]

I knew it!
I just knew it!

Get out!
The party's over.

Go home to your wives
and children.

Feed the dog,
water the lawn.

Go to church and pray
for forgiveness.

- Frances?
- Frances?

Frances?

Get out of here.

- Frances?
- Adulterer.

Apparently Frances and Donald
are already acquainted.

- What are you doing here?
- Confirming what I already know.

Judging from the shrill tone,
I'd say they were husband and wife.

You couldn't take me to the convention
because you had a paper to write.

- Donald-your brother-in-law.
- For a dentist, you're not a bad detective.

Which one of these floozies
was yours?

- You said he owned an athletic-footwear store.
- Only as an investment.

What are you talking about?

I am talking about community property,
child support and alimony.

- Frances, wait. Listen to me.
- I think I have done enough of that already.

I'm afraid this is more
than a simple case of adultery here.

Dr. Bridges.! Stay out of this.
This happens to be a family affair.

- Who is Dr. Bridges?
- He is Dr. Bridges.

- I thought he was Remington Steele.
- He is.

- He is?
- Stop trying to change the subject.

I am booking the first flight
out of this Sodom and Gomorrah.

- Frances, wait! Don't go in there.
- Why not? Another wild party?

Believe me, Laura,
I am immune.

- Nothing could shock me anymore.
- Oh!

- Steele, huh?
- Sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Undercover. Very hush-hush.

Frances, stop jumping to conclusions
and let us explain!

[ Crying ]
Oh!

[ All ]
Frances! Don't go in there!

That...
is a very messy bathroom.

- [ Sighs ]
- Oh! - Frances!

- Poor Howie.
- Poor Cookie.

Poor Myrtle.

You're not gonna tell her
about Howie's indiscretion?

I don't see the point now.

I think her husband's death
far outweighs a tawdry little affair.

I just can't believe- I can't believe that you
suspected me of cheating on you.

There were all those receipts-

lingerie, flowers, motels.

Howie used the company card.
He didn't want Myrtle to know.

The way you jumped every time
I came to the office.

I was afraid that you'd
find out about them, then tell Myrtle.

You haven't come near me
for two months.

Frannie, I was preoccupied.
I'm telling you, I really-

I didn't know what to do
about the situation.

Then when you didn't take me
to the convention-

A thing like that
gets a girl thinking, you know.

Frannie,
how could you doubt me...

when the evidence
of my undying faithfulness is everywhere.

Could a man who's having an affair
dig a new cesspool?

Well, I guess I just
wasn't paying attention.

Oh, Donald, can you
ever forgive me?

Well, I- I guess it's a little flattering
that, after 1 5 years...

you-you still care enough
to get a little jealous.

[ Both Giggling ]

- [ Giggling Continues ]
- Hmm.

It appears the marriage institution
has survived another test.

Profound observation, Dr. Bridges.

Or should I call you Stanley?

- I suppose you're gonna press me
for an explanation on that one. - I wouldn't dream of it.

Unlike Frances, I have
implicit faith in my partner.

Now, what the hell were you doing
running around a hotel...

masquerading as a dentist?

It looked as if you were dealing
with a case without telling me. I was more than a little miffed.

Frankly, I was a little embarrassed
to bring you in on this one.

When I arrived at the hotel and observed you
and Donald in intimate conversation...

his hands all over you...

I began to suspect that it was more
than a business relationship involved.

I wanted to pump him,
as it were, incognito.

- You were jealous.
- Definitely not.

I knew I could trust you
without hesitation.

Thanks for the vote
of confidence.

Well, perhaps there was a pang or two.
[ Murmurs ]

I'll forgive you.

Now, to the matter at hand.

The burning question seems to be,
why would anyone want to kill a dentist?

Whatever the reason, I think the hotel
is our only starting point.

Splendid.
I'll use my Dr. Bridges identity.

You know, blend in,
investigate without arousing suspicion.

- In that case, I'll need a cover too.
- Exactly. Now-

[ People Chattering ]

- [ Teeth Clacking ]
- This isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Come now, Laura.
What better cover for a convention?

You'll be able to roam around, people
will pour out their life stories to you...

and you get to answer
that age-old question-

What's a nice girl like you
doing in an outfit like that?

Caramels?
Chocolate-covered cherries?

Mint parfaits?

- No. No, thank you.
- Oh, come on.

One won't hurt ya.

- No!
- [ Man ] Whoa.

- I've seen that look before.
- What look?

Ray Milland had it in The Lost Weekend.
Played a hopeless alcoholic.

Got it every time
he saw a bottle of scotch.

You and chocolates have
a similar relationship?

Don't be ridiculous. We're on a case.
There's a murderer loose.

We don't have time
to stand around tasting cho-

- cho- cho-
- Chocolate.

Come on.
Let's pump some dentists.

[ Sighs ]

Oh, Donald.

You are so energetic.

[ Exhales ] Well, I had a lot
of energy... stored up.

- [ Giggling ]
- I got a little tickle in my throat.

You got a cough drop?

Oh, Frances.

Oh, Donald.
I'm sorry.

You see,
there was this cho-

cho-

- cho-
- Chocolate.

Thank you-
convention at the hotel.

I thought you were having
an affair with Cookie...

so I was really,
really depressed.

And I thought, well, gee,
just one little teeny-tiny consolation-

How many did you have,
Frances?

- No more than three...
- Okay.

pounds.

Oh! Frances,
you gotta seek help...

if not for yourself,
for the children.

It is not a pretty sight
to find your mother hiding in a garage...

stuffing her face
with malted milk balls.

I am over it, Donald.

I mean, now that I know
that I have you...

I will never touch another malted milk ball
again as long as I live. I promise.

And the children are just fine.
I talked to them today.

- They are?
- Yes.

You've gotta believe me. They will have no
permanent scars because of my condition.

- Oh. There was one bit of disturbing news though.
- Hmm?

- Oh. There was one bit of disturbing news though.
- Hmm?

About that patient of yours-
Wendell... Wh-Whittaker.

Oh, yeah. Oh, he's coping
with his tic douloureux very well, I thought.

I don't think he needs
to worry about it anymore.

- You never know when those things can reoccur.
- He's dead.

Burned in a fire.

- When?
- A couple of days ago, I think.

That's impossible. I just saw him
here in Los Angeles in the hotel.

Well, that's impossible.
The police called for his dental records...

to make a positive identification.

They can't possibly make
a positive identification...

without the impression
of his teeth.

We brought them here with us.

- Oh, dear Lord.
- What's the matter?

Those teeth may be the key
to a double murder.

- Get dressed.
- Okay.

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

Hmm. Doesn't seem to be
an easy access, does it?

You just leave that to Mama.

[ Objects Clatter ]

Uh, lose anything, miss?

Oh, Officer, I can't seem
to find my hotel key.

- Has it been a long night for you, Captain?
- Sergeant.

Sergeant? Really?

- You look like a captain to me.
- Thanks.

Let's have a look
at that badge.

Nice.

- I'll take those teeth.
- These teeth?

Those teeth.

[ Groans ]

[ Gasps ]
He is alive.

I don't think he wants to celebrate
his good fortune with us. Come on.

There he is!

[ Chattering ]

Watch your backs, please.
Watch your backs. Excuse me.

- Bridges! Buy you a drink.
- Another time perhaps.

Something else on your mind,
huh, Bridges? You dog.

A little dental hygiene.
Nothing more.

- Ask her if she's got a friend
who needs a checkup. - We can all floss in my room.

[ Chattering ]

Oh. He could be anywhere.

Uh-uh-uh.
Excuse me, ladies.

- [ Gasps ]
- Donald, what are doing?

- It's the only way I could keep her quiet.
- [ Moaning ]

- Is he still here?
- Possibly. Let's check the rest of the lobby.

- Frances, I'm sorry. I did it for your own safety.
- Frances.

[ Moaning ]

Mmm! Laura.
Laura, I'll give you $20...

- if you get me some more raspberry swirls.
- What?

It's all the cash I've got,
unless you wanna take a traveler's check.

Frances, what are you
talking about?

Come here.
Sit down.

Laura. Laura, I have
a confession to make.

I'm a cho-

cho-

I'm a chocoholic.

- You are?
- Mm. Don't tell Mother.

- How did this happen?
- Well-

It started with a couple
candy bars for breakfast.

Then a few more
to tide me over till lunch.

Before I knew what was happening,
it was all I could think about.

I'd fall asleep at night
dreaming of rich, gooey caramels...

- [ Sighing ]
- nougat centers, mocha.

And then it got to the point
where one piece-

- one whiff of cho-
- Oh.

- cho- cho-
- [ Inhales ] It's all right, Frances.

I'd go through 1 0 pounds
before a binge broke.

My face would break out. My clothes
wouldn't fit. There was no stopping me.

- How long ago was that?
- Last week.

- I know how you feel.
- How could you?

I, too, have dreams-

warm, sensuous dreams.

I walk into a dark room,
and a deep bath of chocolate awaits me.

I lower myself into it.

I'm covered in chocolate.

And I discover what
the pursuit of happiness means.

I wanna believe in reincarnation
so I can come back as a crunch bar.

It runs in the family-
the Holt curse.

Two sisters- so different,
yet so similar.

[ Clicks Tongue ]
Oh, Frances, I've never felt this close to you.

Who is this gentleman
we're chasing anyway?

Wendell Whittaker, a patient of mine-
well, actually Howie's.

- He suffers from a classic case of tic douloureux.
- Oh, yeah?

We were gonna do a paper on it
for the convention.

Even brought an impression of his teeth
to use as sort of a visual aid.

That's all very fascinating, but why
would this man kill for those teeth?

Wendell has a bullion exchange.
He trades in gold, precious metals.

Apparently he's under investigation
for embezzling...

close to $1 0 million
of his company funds.

Then they found the body,
burnt beyond recognition.

The police called me for the dental records
to make a positive I.D.

If Wendell Whittaker is officially declared dead,
he becomes a very wealthy ghost.

He has his teeth.
That should be the end of it.

I don't know. As long as you can examine that
corpse and declare that it isn't Whittaker...

I don't think we've heard
the last of him.

What am I supposed to do, run
the rest of my life? I just cleaned my garage.

- The Man Who Knew Too Much.
- I'm willing to forget if he is.

Jimmy Stewart, Doris Day.
Paramount, 1 956.

What are we doing here,
talking movies now?

What better way to formulate a plan
to save your life and capture Whittaker?

That's the one where Doris Day
sings "Que Sera, Sera. ''

A meaningless
musical interlude.

The plot has a hired assassin
planning to kill an ambassador...

at the exact moment the cymbals crash
during a concert given at the Albert Hall.

Good. That leaves me out.
I don't play the cymbals.

No need to.
This is our Albert Hall...

- and you deliver your paper at?
- 3:00.

As good as any cymbal.
Come on.

This guy- Steele.
Steele, wait a minute.

[ People Chattering ]

Ah, splendid.

You really enjoy seeing me
wear these outlandish-

not to mention demeaning-
costumes, don't you?

Laura, you told me yourself
the secret of surveillance is to blend in.

[ Sighs ]

[ Chattering ]

Sometimes I wish I'd stayed
in the math department.

Laura, are you sure Donald's
going to be all right out there?

Mr. Steele and I are covering
the entire auditorium.

Believe me, Frances.
Wendell is not going to slip through.

- Time to squeeze out.
- [ Clicks Tongue ]

[ Whistling, Cheering ]

[ Whistling, Cheering Continue ]

Look, why don't you
go out front?

- No, no. I wanna stay back here with you.
- Come on.

You heard what Laura said.
Nothing is gonna happen. Nothing.

Oh, I know that.

So do I.

The key to the safety deposit box
is in the bureau drawer, under the socks.

- I thought that's where you kept the will.
- The will is under my shorts.

- Where's the insurance policy?
- Under your panty hose.

Oh, Donald.
Don't talk like that.

Ready to take a shot
at this, Piper?

[ Applause Continues ]

Ladies and gentlemen,
to open the afternoon session...

our distinguished colleague
from Connecticut-

Dr. Donald Piper.

[ Applause ]

Tic-

Tic douloureux is-
is a very interesting condition.

Something hot,
something cold...

uh, something sweet-

even a loud sound-
could, uh...

send the mouth
into excruciating pain.

Supertooth is here
with a super brush...

for a super people,
for a super-dontic tooth.!

Here comes Supertooth.!
Supertooth.!

- Stop that tooth!
- [ Screams ]

All right, Whittaker.
The game's over.

[ Panting ]
Hey, this wasn't my idea.

- Some guy- he gave me 20 bucks to do this.
- What guy?

- Him.
- [ People Screaming ]

[ Loud Feedback ]

[ Screaming ]

Tic douloureux.

Even a loud sound could send the mouth
into excruciating pain.

- Here we go.
- I'm sorry we couldn't spend more time together.

- Yes, yes.
- Well, now that we've made contact...

I'm sure there'll be
a great many more visits.

[ Moans ]
Oh.

[ Laughing ]
Silly.

- Only next time in Connecticut.
It's a lot quieter there. - You got a deal, Donald.

Frances, what can I say?
It's been wonderful.

- Donald, take care of yourself.
- Oh, uh-

Now,
a" thank you for saving my life'' gift.

Oh. How sweet. Oh.

- [ Kiss ] You're welcome.
- You're gonna miss your flight.

- Take that. Here we go.
- Got everything?

I'm gonna send you more pictures
of the kids. See you later.

See you, Frances.
Take care of yourselves.

Uh- Okay.

[ Sighs ]

Uh, aren't you
gonna open it?

- No hurry.
- Oh.

- Not the least bit curious?
- [ Scoffs ] You know me.

I can go for months
without opening a present.

Oh. I see.
Yes, well- Hmm.

- Mmm.
- Such willpower, eh?

Well-

- Maybe just one.
- Mm-hmm.

That's what Ray Milland said
just before he lost that weekend.

[ Mews ]

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