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1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,304
Get ready to get down with Rel.
2
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,506
-How you doin'?
-Catch all-new episodes Sundays.
3
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,475
And check out
our other Fox programs--
4
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,143
9-1-1 and Empire.
5
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,778
Only on Fox.
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00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:15,283
Rel is taped in front
of a live studio audience.
7
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:17,951
Could you do me a favor?
Could you look at Terry's bumps?
8
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:19,620
Uh, you know, his mom is worried
9
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,289
that she may have to take him
to the hospital,
10
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,257
but she don't know,
so what-what do you think?
11
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:25,626
Uh, yeah, sure. Hey, Terry,
why don't you show me?
12
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:29,397
I got one here,
three right here,
13
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:32,633
and I'm not sure,
because I can't see them,
14
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,035
but I have a lot on my butt.
15
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:36,870
Uh, I'll save you some time.
16
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:39,473
He wants to be Spider-Man
and he's been
17
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:42,476
putting spiders in his bed
so they can bite him.
18
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:43,877
Terry, why would
you do that, okay?
19
00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:45,313
That wouldn't even work anyway.
20
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:46,847
The spider's got to be
radioactive.
21
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,516
Good idea, Dad.
22
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,351
I'll put them in the microwave.
23
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,721
Yeah, y-you definitely
shouldn't do that.
24
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:56,990
You don't know anything,
you evil doctor.
25
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,593
Prepare to be webbed.
26
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:04,198
All right, let's see
who we got here.
27
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:09,337
Uh... Tommy Smith. Five, 11.
Allergic to penicillin.
28
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:11,905
Oh. You're O negative.
29
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,242
Well, what up, my O negative
blood brother? (chuckles)
30
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,076
What do you mean,
"blood brother"?
31
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:17,778
I'm just saying
only seven percent of us
32
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,680
have that blood type.
You know what I mean?
33
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,450
So you got it, I got it,
34
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,386
so you my O negative
blood brother. (chuckles)
35
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,890
All right, um...
36
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:34,328
I see you fainted at the protest
yesterday due to a blood clot.
37
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,964
Man, that's crazy,
them protest was wild yesterday
38
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:40,067
from what I heard, and they said
a bunch of the alt-right dudes
39
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,070
showed up with the khakis
and the tiki torches.
40
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,273
It's good for you
standing up for your beliefs.
41
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:47,208
Yeah, I was protesting
inequality.
42
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,877
That's great.
43
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,414
And how this country has turned
its back on true nationalists
44
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,083
in favor of a politically
correct global conspiracy.
45
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:03,791
So you are actually
one of those tiki torch,
46
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,960
khaki-wearing alt-right guys.
47
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:09,430
How alt-right are you?
48
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,065
This country was founded
by and for the white man
49
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,367
and we need to take it back.
50
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,439
Huh?
51
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,940
* This how we do it in the Chi *
52
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,542
* On the West Side *
53
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,277
* Where we always
keep it tippin' *
54
00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:25,613
* Man, that ain't no lie *
55
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,449
* Oh, oh, oh. *
56
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,484
You know, I've never
walked out on a patient,
57
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,320
but that dude was talking
so crazy, man,
58
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,255
if I ain't leave, I probably
would've stole on him.
59
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,489
But me punching him, man,
60
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:36,890
like, I would've
been doing exactly
61
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,091
what he expected me to do.
62
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:39,993
Man, who cares what
he expected you to do?
63
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:41,895
If I'd been you, I would've
grabbed the defibrillator
64
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:44,198
and defibrillated him. Boom!
65
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,770
Nah, l-l-look,
we just playing, bro.
66
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:53,241
Look, you cannot aggressively
defibrillize the dude, okay?
67
00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:55,876
Like Michelle Obama always says,
"When they go low, we go high."
68
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:59,079
Oh, no, no, no. We changed that.
69
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:02,216
"When they go low, we kick 'em."
70
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,852
Look, guys, it's not like
I've never dealt
71
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,887
with a racist before,
but this dude, he was just
72
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,689
real casual about it.
You know what I mean?
73
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,658
Like, he was, he was really one
of the most confident racists
74
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:11,992
I've ever talked to.
75
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,027
I'm glad racists
out in the open.
76
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,829
I mean, for a while,
they was undercover.
77
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,131
You had to trick them, sniff
them out with questions like,
78
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,733
"Hey, man, you like
a mobile quarterback?"
79
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,737
If they said no, racist.
80
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,607
Yeah, like, when everybody says
a pure pocket passer,
81
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,842
it always sound
like white power to me.
82
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,711
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
Like, look, man,
83
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,980
a racist is always
gonna be a racist.
84
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,749
Our job is to make their life
as hard as we can, okay?
85
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,251
So, what you gonna do, Rel?
86
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:39,219
You gonna put some laxative
in his drink?
87
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,854
Tell him you got
the Ebola virus?
88
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,323
It's from Africa,
that'll freak him out.
89
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,891
Or better yet,
90
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:47,561
paper his room with
all the Kwanzaa decorations.
91
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,997
Dad, I can't do
any of that, okay?
92
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,832
And that's not
gonna work. I'm...
93
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:54,468
Look, me just messing with him
or-or just walking out on him,
94
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,036
that's jeopardizing my job.
95
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,406
And that's letting him win
if I do that.
96
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,408
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm
gonna go back down there, right?
97
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,809
And I'm-a do my job so well
98
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,944
he's gonna have no choice
but to respect me.
99
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:07,247
All right, you do you.
Leave a thermometer in his ass.
100
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,788
Damn, Jake, you deejaying
in the middle of the afternoon?
101
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,724
Yeah, yeah, when a song
this hot drops,
102
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,592
you want to play it all day,
103
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,528
and because it was requested
for a third time,
104
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,296
and it's already
my favorite song,
105
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:26,233
here's "Sprinkle Dinkle,"
the instant classic by Doolock.
106
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,835
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
107
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,603
* Dettle ice cream *
108
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,104
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle. *
109
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,540
(music stops)
110
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,475
Damn, Jake, why the hell
would you do this to me?
111
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:37,945
It's not my fault you dated
Doolock then dumped him.
112
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:40,748
If I was you,
he'd still be my man.
113
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,417
Listen, he was
a terrible boyfriend.
114
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,586
He didn't have a job,
he lived with his sister,
115
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,589
and he would clip
his toenails in bed.
116
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:52,125
And one day I woke up
and one of them was on my face.
117
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,827
I get it,
you're filled with regret.
118
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,363
If I had dumped Doolock,
119
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,665
I'd be dead in a ditch someplace
by my own hand.
120
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:02,102
But I didn't because I know
what a treasure looks like.
121
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,972
So you know what I'm-a do?
I'm-a keep playing this song.
122
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,574
Let's run that back, y'all.
"Sprinkle Dinkle."
123
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,576
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
124
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,110
* Dettle ice cream *
125
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,312
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle. *
126
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:17,284
Okay, Tommy, it's Rel, your
ebony healthcare professional.
127
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,752
Now, look, I've decided,
128
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,287
even though you
suck as a person,
129
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,089
I'm not gonna suck at my job.
Now, sit up.
130
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,957
I'm waiting for a real nurse.
131
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,026
I am your real nurse.
132
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:31,331
Now take a deep breath.
133
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:34,435
-(inhales)
-Now, let it out.
134
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:39,673
So you gonna just
hold your breath?
135
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:42,175
I'm-a let you know now, man,
you hold your breath, pass out,
136
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,611
I'm-a get paid regardless.
137
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,648
You know, the crazy thing
about you being white,
138
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,683
I can literally see you
losing consciousness.
139
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,988
I mean, you're turning colors
already. Look. Oh, red.
140
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,991
(chuckles) Now you're blue.
141
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,694
You red, white, and blue.
(laughs)
142
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:03,464
You a whole flag now.
143
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,298
Come on, man, there's no point
in you being angry
144
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,700
and holding your breath.
145
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:10,638
It's hard to be racist
when you're dead.
146
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:13,707
(forcefully exhales, panting)
147
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:16,544
Thank you.
148
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,712
How did you get
this job, anyway--
149
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:22,616
affirmative action?
150
00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:25,719
Well, matter of fact, bruh, I
got a perfect score on my NCLEX,
151
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,721
and guess what I school went to?
152
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,256
Malcolm X College.
153
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:36,664
So, that's what's gonna happen?
What's next?
154
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:39,533
Gonna make me apologize for
slavery for the thousandth time?
155
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:42,703
Nah, you don't actually
have to apologize.
156
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,404
I mean, from looking at you,
157
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:46,206
your ancestors probably
couldn't even afford slaves.
158
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,911
But look...
159
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:54,181
What is that? What is that sign?
160
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:57,084
Is that the racist Bat-Signal?
161
00:06:57,117 --> 00:07:00,521
Well, you guys have
gang signals, why can't we?
162
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,189
You know, y'all be killing me
163
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,057
thinking all black people
in gangs. I'm a nurse.
164
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,727
I can't gangbang a nurse.
That don't make sense.
165
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,161
Now, let me tell you this,
166
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,763
you guys are the craziest
gang out here,
167
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,431
and you don't even have
good gang colors.
168
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,366
What gang wear khakis?
But you know something?
169
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,235
I'm not, I'm not
finna do all that.
170
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,705
I came here to do my job,
and that's what I'm-a do.
171
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:21,408
-That's right.
-The hell is that?
172
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,176
It's a catheter.
173
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,345
Uh, you know, you gonna be under
the anesthesia for a while,
174
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,548
so, you know, I got to put this
in your urethra.
175
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:32,019
Oh, you don't know what that is
176
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:36,957
with your very smart
white supremacist mind.
177
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,992
Well, it's basically
your pee hole.
178
00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:42,630
I want a qualified nurse
to do this.
179
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:45,833
So by qualified
do you mean white?
180
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,367
Oh, okay. Well...
181
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,636
See, you ain't never
been here before.
182
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,037
You know, we only got, like,
183
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,539
one white nurse
that's on this floor,
184
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,140
and, uh, she's not, uh,
185
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,575
she's not really steady
with her hands
186
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,243
when it come to a catheter.
187
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:57,978
That's right, we call her
Butterfinger Becky.
188
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,415
-Is she white?
-Yup.
189
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,284
Then I would like her
to do this.
190
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,387
Man, your racist body,
your racist choice.
191
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,091
-Becky.
-BECKY: Yes.
192
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,259
Could you come help me
real quick?
193
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,561
Yeah, yeah, of course.
194
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,896
As I predicted,
195
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,766
this patient here would want you
to do the catheter insertion.
196
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,934
-Damn.
-Yup.
197
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,636
O-Okay. (chuckles)
198
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,171
You got this, go ahead.
199
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:26,139
Oh, my God. Okay.
200
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,475
-Okay, wow! (chuckles)
-(chuckles)
201
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,679
Okay. Yay.
202
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:35,282
-I'll be outside.
-Okay. Um...
203
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,517
-So...
-TOMMY: No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait!
204
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,419
No, no! Oh, whoa, oh, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
205
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:42,489
Stop, stop, stop! Oh, oh, stop!
206
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:46,459
Oh, whoa, hey, hey,
what's all the commotion, huh?
207
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,295
Is everything okay in here?
208
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:52,900
Well, I-I may have tried to go
a little too fast, or too slow.
209
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:56,637
I'm not sure. Either way,
it-it didn't make it in.
210
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,305
You know something, I'm...
211
00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,873
I would help you,
but, you know...
212
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,575
(scoffs)
you said you wanted
213
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:03,644
a very qualified white nurse.
Well, you got her.
214
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,378
-(chuckles)
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
215
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:09,016
Just... Nurse Rel, will you...
will you do it?
216
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:13,020
I'd do it, Tommy,
if you say please.
217
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,521
Please?
218
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,189
-Okay.
-(chuckles)
219
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,094
(sighs) I got one more request,
though, brother.
220
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,796
Could you put
your fist up like this
221
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,932
and say, "Black Lives Matter"?
222
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:33,373
We'll put a tiny camera
down your esophagus
223
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,909
and then we'll put a coiled hose
through your neck artery
224
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,311
and thread the other end
through a vein at the groin
225
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,513
and suction out the blood clot.
Any questions?
226
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,716
U-Um, no.
227
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,252
Okay, great. See you in the OR.
228
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:48,588
All right, is there any problems
with the catheter?
229
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,658
No, I'm-I'm... I'm okay.
230
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,563
Okay. Look, even though
you a racist...
231
00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,733
I can see that
you're scared, right?
232
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,568
And it's my job to comfort you,
you know that?
233
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,872
Look, have you ever...
had surgery before?
234
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,240
No, I-I haven't even been in
a hospital since middle school
235
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,276
when I burned myself
sitting in front of a lamp
236
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,744
'cause I thought
it had gamma rays
237
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:12,412
and it would turn me
into the Hulk.
238
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,648
You know what's crazy?
239
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,416
My son kind of did
the same thing.
240
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,786
He got a bunch of spiders
and put them in his bed
241
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,220
so they could bite him,
242
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,189
thinking it would turn him
into Spider-Man.
243
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,957
That doesn't work.
244
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,026
Wait, you did
the same thing, too?
245
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,628
Yeah, I mean, who doesn't
want to be Spider-Man?
246
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,931
(chuckles, sighs)
247
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,933
Look, man, you don't have
nothing to worry about, okay?
248
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,334
Surgery is gonna be okay.
249
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,369
-All right?
-Okay.
250
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:39,272
Spider-Man. (chuckles)
251
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,443
(indistinct chatter)
252
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,278
All right, y'all, I want to
thank you y'all for coming out
253
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,714
to the first ice cream
happy hour
254
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,448
in honor of "Sprinkle Dinkle."
255
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,318
(cheering, applause)
256
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,620
Man, Brit, you lost out.
257
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,756
Doolock's the new king
of the West Side.
258
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:56,990
First of all,
you can't have a city
259
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,759
run by some rapper
named Doolock.
260
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,160
-Right.
-You got city aldermen running around
261
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,362
with grills in their mouth
and chains around their neck,
262
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,097
and you got the female
police officers twerking
263
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,632
when they're trying
to write you a ticket.
264
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,435
Man, that sounds amazing to me.
265
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,570
Look, this whole generation
is lost.
266
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,639
At least you got
some sense, Milt.
267
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,542
There you go, playboy.
Sprinkle Dinkle.
268
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,813
What the hell
is everybody doing?
269
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,449
They getting ready for the
Sprinkle Dinkle dance challenge.
270
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,684
My man Doolock asked people
to submit videos
271
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,820
of them sprinkling and dinkling.
272
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,858
I'm sick of this.
Who made this dance up?
273
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,860
It look like everybody ran out
of paper towels,
274
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,427
so they air-drying their hands.
275
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,229
Oh, you got to see it done
with music.
276
00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,598
-No, Jake, don't play it...
-* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
277
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:39,933
* Dettle ice cream *
278
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,668
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
279
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,771
* Dettle ice cream... *
280
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,705
What are you doing?
281
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,975
I don't know, Brittany.
I just... I like it.
282
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,176
But you're supposed
to be on my side.
283
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,244
I am, but look--
it's-it's just fun.
284
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:52,612
* Sprinkle, dinkle. *
285
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,514
* Doolock, I'm gonna
put these streets... *
286
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,217
All right, y'all, I got a little
surprise for y'all.
287
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,552
My man Doolock
is in the building.
288
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:02,289
-(cheering)
-Oh, yeah. I see y'all.
289
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,457
It's me in the flesh.
(chuckles)
290
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,393
Sprinkle Dinkle, y'all.
(laughs)
291
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:11,431
Hey. Oh, oh, oh, oh,
wait a minute.
292
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:14,034
Brittany, is that you?
293
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,269
Mm, mm, mm.
294
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,005
Still got it, too.
295
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,040
Hey, y'all.
Do y'all know who this is?
296
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,309
This is my ex-boo.
You know what I mean?
297
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:25,045
My ex-boo thang.
(chuckles)
298
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,547
You know, some people may say
she the one that got away.
299
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,183
It's all good.
'Cause they always come back.
300
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:33,186
Boy, I'm not here for you, Carl.
301
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:35,022
It look like you threw
a dead raccoon
302
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,190
over top
of the "Thriller" jacket.
303
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:40,727
Uh... (laughs)
304
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,162
You know what I'm saying?
305
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,563
She over here trying
to make jokes and stuff.
306
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,365
Ha. It's all good. You know?
307
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,767
'Cause my name ain't Carl,
you know what I mean?
308
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,702
Trying to make a fool-lock
out of Doolock. I see.
309
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,071
That's your plan, huh?
310
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,940
Let me ask you a question.
311
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,176
-Still designing clothes?
-Yep.
312
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,611
Doolock got his own
clothing line.
313
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,113
And what you don't
realize is, boo,
314
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,915
this could have been
both of us. Huh?
315
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,384
We could have been a power
couple. All this could be yours.
316
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:08,255
Couple manicures,
his and her furs,
317
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:12,926
twin garages, swimming lessons.
318
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,062
I'm-a backstroke
by my damn self.
319
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,465
That's right, 'cause Doolock
is single and ready to sprinkle.
320
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,732
Let's do this, y'all!
321
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,734
(laughs)
Oh, lady.
322
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:24,804
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
323
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,773
* Dettle ice cream *
324
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,608
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle... *
325
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,411
First, it was a song,
then a dance
326
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,180
and now he got
his own clothing line.
327
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:36,917
And nobody hates it but me.
I need you to hate it with me.
328
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:39,719
Okay, Brittany, you can't text
me and say it's an emergency
329
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,321
when you just jealous
of your ex-boyfriend.
330
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,257
First of all,
ain't nobody jealous of him.
331
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:47,294
But, look, this Sprinkle Dinkle
craze is worse than cancer, Rel.
332
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:52,499
There's a few people on this
floor that'll beg to differ.
333
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,134
Don't tell me how to feel, okay?
334
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,468
I just need you to be my friend
335
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,604
and hate Sprinkle Dinkle
with me.
336
00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:01,074
Or you could let go
of that hate.
337
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:02,775
Let me tell you, today,
I've been, like,
338
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,245
changing over this racist
patient I have, right?
339
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,547
He started out really negative,
but I'm really getting to him.
340
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,217
I think when he leave here,
he gonna download SoulSwipe.
341
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,685
See, Brittany,
what you got to do is...
342
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,187
Look, great for you
and your racist, Rel.
343
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:16,789
Great. But I don't need
a lesson right now.
344
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,959
I just need a partner in hate.
345
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:22,362
All right, look, you my friend.
346
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,764
I guess I hate the song, too.
347
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,634
-Yes, thank you.
-* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
348
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,502
* Dettle ice cream *
349
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,204
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
350
00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:33,140
* Dettle ice cream *
351
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,975
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
352
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,809
* Dettle ice cream... *
353
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,345
Really?
354
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,812
I'm just saying,
it's really catchy,
355
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,648
and it's got a nice beat to it.
It's really dope.
356
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:43,450
* And when I hit the streets,
all you hear is pop, pop *
357
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,518
* I make a girl scream
"More ice cream"... *
358
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,261
Hey, Tommy. How are you feeling?
359
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,729
Good. Just very tired.
360
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,565
Well, that's completely normal.
361
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,233
So the surgery was a success,
362
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,502
but there was a complication
removing the clot
363
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:03,870
and you lost a lot of blood.
364
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,272
Well, not to worry.
365
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,040
We were able to perform
a transfusion,
366
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,675
and now everything's fine.
367
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,910
Wow. T-Thank you.
368
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,679
Well, actually, you don't have
to thank me. You...
369
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:13,913
need to thank Rel.
370
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,983
He literally saved your life.
371
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,650
We had a problem with
the O negative blood supply,
372
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:20,653
and Rel donated on the spot.
373
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,593
Wow.
374
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,028
We done come a long way, huh?
375
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,429
Well, you and I were just,
376
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,998
we were just yelling
at each other yesterday,
377
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:32,932
and today, my blood
literally saved your life.
378
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,301
Why would you do that?!
379
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:37,404
I don't want your disgusting
blood in me!
380
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,939
(grunting) I'm gonna,
I'm gonna sue this hospital.
381
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:41,274
Why the hell
would you do that to me?
382
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:45,645
J-Just drain me! Drain me!
383
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:51,718
Wait, wait, wait.
You gave this guy your blood?
384
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,420
(chuckles)
Oh, that's genius, Rel.
385
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:56,256
You put your black blood
in a racist?
386
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,358
Oh, man, I'm proud of you, son.
387
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,563
Aw, man, I bet you his elbows
are ashy right now, man.
388
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,766
I am so proud of you, man.
389
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,936
Your ancestors
are cheering you on.
390
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,571
Okay, okay, Dad, look, look.
391
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:13,173
I didn't do it
for my ancestors, all right?
392
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,941
I was just doing my job.
393
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,177
But man, you know,
instead of him thanking me
394
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,312
for saving his life,
he treated me like trash.
395
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,414
Oh, oh, I see.
I already told you once,
396
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:23,250
you can't change a racist, man.
397
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,751
What we need to figure out
is how to put some more
398
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:27,254
black organs in him.
399
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,521
Hey, Rel, I mean,
I know I was telling you,
400
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,090
"Hey, go high"
and all that stuff,
401
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,092
but you went way higher
than I expected, bro.
402
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:35,962
I mean, you literally put
yourself in that man heart.
403
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:39,132
(scoffs) Michelle Obama
would be proud, man.
404
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,601
Man, see, it's not
about all that, man.
405
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:44,071
Like, I-I hate the fact
that he got me hating him.
406
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:47,140
You know? I mean, hate is so
contagious, man, I hate hate.
407
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:50,610
There is nothing I love
more than hate.
408
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,145
Here you go, Rel.
409
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,314
My hate made you this shirt.
410
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,184
Here you go, Milt.
My hate made you this hat.
411
00:16:57,217 --> 00:17:00,553
And Nat, my hate made you
this quilted phone cover.
412
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,325
Damn, Brit, this is
a dope-ass phone case.
413
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,061
I know. See, at first, Doolock's
song annoyed me, right?
414
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:11,298
But then, I decided to be mature
and channel my hatred.
415
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,233
So I started designing
and sewing,
416
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,302
and it's the most productive
I've ever been.
417
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,705
See, I realized Doolock
is the hate of my life.
418
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:21,841
Feels so good to be in hate.
419
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,543
(chuckles) See, Rel? That's what
you got to do with hate.
420
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,612
You got to take it,
throw it right back at them.
421
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,714
Right. I took my power back.
422
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:31,684
Look here.
I don't want to hate nobody,
423
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,421
but I do want
to take my power back.
424
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,423
(stammers) Ah, you know,
I know exactly what I'm-a do.
425
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:39,192
All right? I'm-a go down there
and I'm-a demand an apology.
426
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,860
And if he doesn't give it to me,
427
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,331
I'm-a ask
for my black blood back.
428
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,533
-Oh, hey, Rel...
-No, no, no, no.
429
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,268
Don't "Hey, Rel" me, okay?
I saved your life, all right?
430
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,503
-And I need you to say, right...
-I'm sorry.
431
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:54,907
Okay, that was easier
than I thought it was gonna be.
432
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:57,377
I mean, for real, I-I actually
was planning to come down here
433
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,079
and pretend like I was gonna
take your blood back.
434
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:04,016
And then turn on BET
until you beg for mercy.
435
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:07,620
Look, you know,
I overreacted yesterday.
436
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:12,091
And you treated me great
while I treated you terribly,
437
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:16,529
and you saved my life,
and, um, I am sorry.
438
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:20,367
You, Rel, have opened my eyes.
439
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,735
That's a good first step.
440
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,771
I mean, we got to communicate.
441
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,407
And I can honestly say that...
442
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,845
...you're one of the good ones.
443
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,315
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
444
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,454
You said
I'm one of the good ones?
445
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,923
Yeah. Yeah.
Like, you're not living
446
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,926
off of government handouts,
you're...
447
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,896
you're educated,
y-you're well-spoken.
448
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,267
Excuse me?
449
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,303
Do you know how racist
you sound?
450
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,305
I mean, even when you're not
even trying to sound racist,
451
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,106
you sound racist.
452
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,441
-How did you get like this?
-Now, look.
453
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,376
you don't understand, okay?
454
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:06,279
It's getting harder and harder
for a white man to succeed.
455
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,648
Okay? I-I've been-I've been
unemployed for three years
456
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:12,452
because these minority caravans
are taking our jobs.
457
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,187
Okay, whoa, whoa.
Okay, bro. You-you...
458
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,155
You talking about jobs?
For real?
459
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:19,426
First of all,
y'all always had the jobs.
460
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:21,661
Okay? And second of all,
461
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,163
dude, if you stop going to all
these meetings and rallies
462
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:26,933
and just maybe go
to a job fair or...
463
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,637
...or take some classes
or send a résumé...
464
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,805
Okay, you know,
o-of course you'd say that.
465
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:37,143
You-you need get off
the Democratic plantation.
466
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,413
(exhales) Okay, you know
something? I-I see what this is.
467
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:44,417
Right? For the first time
in your life,
468
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,453
you know, you're not just
getting something handed to you
469
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,988
based on the color
of your skin, right?
470
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,491
You got to earn it.
You got to be qualified.
471
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,360
(Rel laughs softly)
472
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:58,298
Just a whiny, uneducated,
entitled little punk.
473
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,201
I'm not finna waste my breath
with you no more.
474
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,203
I did my job,
you'll be discharged shortly.
475
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,508
Oh, and I forgot.
476
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:12,579
Uh, we're gonna make sure
we bill your Obamacare.
477
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:17,417
I-I do not have Obamacare.
478
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:21,554
I have health insurance through
the Affordable Care Act.
479
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,161
Well, I hate to bust
your bubble.
480
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,930
That is Obamacare.
481
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,865
That's right.
482
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,868
Barack been paying your bills,
and you didn't even know it.
483
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,137
(chuckles)
Surprise.
484
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,145
* Yeah *
485
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,883
* Yeah *
486
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:54,687
* You know who it is *
487
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,589
* It's Doolock, it's Doolock *
488
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,190
* It's Doolock, it's Doo *
489
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,159
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
490
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,294
* Dettle ice cream *
491
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,763
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
492
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,565
* Dettle ice cream *
493
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,534
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
494
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,636
-* Dettle ice cream *
-* Ice cream *
495
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,571
-* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
-* Ice cream *
496
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,540
-* Dettle ice cream *
-* Boy, ice cream *
497
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:15,542
* It's Doolock,
got the fool-lock *
498
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,410
* And when I hit the streets,
all you hear is pop, pop *
499
00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:19,312
* I make a girl scream
"More ice cream" *
500
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:20,947
* And I say, all I got
is cookies and cream *
501
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,849
* I'll tell you,
my cream is bananas *
502
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:25,017
* I'm-a see your girl mañana *
503
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,953
* But I got
that cheese instead *
504
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:28,621
* Talking about that
cheesy bread, diabetes *
505
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,657
-* You goons are dead *
-* You sick, fam *
506
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,525
* You don't want
my banana bread *
507
00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:33,893
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
508
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:35,928
* Dettle ice cream *
509
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:38,130
-* You dead to me, fam *
-* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
510
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:39,632
* Dettle ice cream *
511
00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:41,200
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
512
00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:43,169
* Dettle ice cream *
513
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,104
* Sprinkle, dinkle, doodle *
514
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:48,675
-* Dettle ice cream *
-* Yeah. *
515
00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:53,680
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
516
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,750
Now that you've
gotten to know Rel,
517
00:21:57,784 --> 00:21:59,285
here are a few more shows
to check out from Fox.
518
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:04,657
Welcome to the galaxy.
519
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:07,827
Should be fun. I'll lead.
520
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,532
* We're breaking waves
Shooting stars *
521
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:13,933
We're gonna make a run for it.
522
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:15,167
* Live for glory, not forever *
523
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:19,639
-Go!
-* Reach out *
524
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:23,209
* Make this right here
Right now *
525
00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:27,013
* Stand up *
526
00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,816
-* Here right now *
-Now!
527
00:22:29,866 --> 00:22:34,416
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