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1
00:00:05,225 --> 00:00:07,545
? Goodness gracious ?
2
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,269
? Great balls of fire ?
3
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:11,553
? Kiss me, baby ?
4
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:12,888
? Whoo ?
5
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,515
? It feels good ?
6
00:00:15,137 --> 00:00:16,722
What are you doing?
7
00:00:16,889 --> 00:00:19,229
Partying the pounds off. Come on.
8
00:00:19,302 --> 00:00:20,688
Join me.
9
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:21,814
? So fine ?
10
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,149
No, thanks.
11
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,151
You seen my cigarettes anywhere?
12
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,277
I threw 'em out.
13
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:27,778
? Mine, mine, mine ?
14
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:30,072
? I cut my nails and I
twiddle my thumbs ?
15
00:00:30,541 --> 00:00:32,450
- Why?
- Because you're my best friend,
16
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:33,851
and I don't want you getting cancer.
17
00:00:33,875 --> 00:00:35,086
Now, come on, get in on this.
18
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,093
Do something healthy for
your lungs for once.
19
00:00:37,153 --> 00:00:39,123
? Great balls of fire ?
20
00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:40,458
? ?
21
00:00:41,225 --> 00:00:42,366
SIMMONS: Go!
22
00:00:42,391 --> 00:00:43,502
No.
23
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,504
Dude, no one is gonna see you.
24
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,590
- Forget it.
- It'll cheer you up.
25
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,009
- I don't need cheering up.
- Then it'll cheer me up.
26
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,163
Come on, man. I need the moral support.
27
00:00:52,188 --> 00:00:53,468
All those years of dating Karen,
28
00:00:53,492 --> 00:00:55,327
you must have picked up a few moves.
29
00:00:58,965 --> 00:01:01,760
? You shake my nerves and
you rattle my brain ?
30
00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:03,551
? Too much lovin' ?
31
00:01:03,576 --> 00:01:05,649
- ? Drives a man insane ?
- SIMMONS: Other side!
32
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,026
? You broke my will ?
33
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,819
? Oh, what a thrill ?
34
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:10,738
? Goodness gracious,
great balls of fire... ?
35
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:13,032
? ?
36
00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:19,767
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.addic7ed.com
37
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,756
[MUSIC FADES]
38
00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:32,225
[SHIRLEY INHALES DEEPLY]
39
00:01:35,234 --> 00:01:37,431
[MOANING SOFTLY]
40
00:01:37,632 --> 00:01:39,092
[CHUCKLES]
41
00:01:39,274 --> 00:01:40,943
Good morning.
42
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:42,645
How'd you sleep?
43
00:01:43,556 --> 00:01:46,190
Like a fossilized log.
44
00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:47,358
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
45
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:48,984
Which is unusual.
46
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,903
You know, first time in a strange bed.
47
00:01:51,438 --> 00:01:52,553
I mean, you know,
48
00:01:52,578 --> 00:01:54,498
not that there's anything
strange about the bed,
49
00:01:54,522 --> 00:01:56,867
or that, you know, that I've
been with some strange women.
50
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:59,469
I'm just, you know, I usually don't s...
51
00:01:59,730 --> 00:02:01,774
I know what you meant.
52
00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:05,293
[CHUCKLES]
53
00:02:07,602 --> 00:02:10,021
[SHIRLEY SIGHS DEEPLY]
54
00:02:12,696 --> 00:02:14,562
Can I ask you a question?
55
00:02:14,587 --> 00:02:16,172
Sure.
56
00:02:17,849 --> 00:02:20,850
Was last night, um...
57
00:02:21,622 --> 00:02:22,831
was it okay?
58
00:02:22,856 --> 00:02:25,484
I mean, you know, was it fun,
did you have a good time?
59
00:02:25,705 --> 00:02:27,540
Yes, Sam.
60
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,695
Oh, well...
61
00:02:32,971 --> 00:02:34,989
that's enough lollygagging.
62
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,978
I... know we both have places to be,
63
00:02:38,003 --> 00:02:39,778
so you...
64
00:02:40,156 --> 00:02:41,996
Ladies first.
65
00:02:42,993 --> 00:02:44,123
No way.
66
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,916
- I insist.
- Mm-mm.
67
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:48,810
No, I am not parading
around my middle-aged buns
68
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,545
for your amusement.
69
00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:54,031
- Well, last night...
- It was dark.
70
00:02:55,540 --> 00:02:57,417
You first.
71
00:02:59,297 --> 00:03:00,472
Uh-uh.
72
00:03:00,993 --> 00:03:02,245
No.
73
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:05,004
Well, then I guess we're both
74
00:03:05,029 --> 00:03:07,435
just gonna have to spend
the whole day in this bed.
75
00:03:07,519 --> 00:03:09,145
I guess we are.
76
00:03:10,642 --> 00:03:12,227
In fact...
77
00:03:13,631 --> 00:03:15,633
- What are you doing?
- [PHONE DIALING]
78
00:03:19,653 --> 00:03:21,493
[LAUGHS]: I'm calling in sick.
79
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,370
[LAUGHS]
80
00:03:30,852 --> 00:03:32,212
JEWELER: Can I show you something?
81
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,799
Hmm. How about that... big
blue one right there?
82
00:03:36,009 --> 00:03:37,426
You have good taste.
83
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:40,763
It's inspired by Lady
Diana's engagement ring.
84
00:03:41,110 --> 00:03:43,349
Cool. Um...
85
00:03:43,583 --> 00:03:47,170
- how much is it?
- $3,995.
86
00:03:48,233 --> 00:03:49,925
Okay, um...
87
00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:52,115
what about that one right there?
88
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:56,070
That's a princess cut diamond
in a setting of 18-karat gold.
89
00:03:57,325 --> 00:03:59,657
- How much?
- $2,700.
90
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,259
Wow!
91
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,702
Okay.
92
00:04:02,870 --> 00:04:04,612
Um, hmm.
93
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:05,996
[SMACKS LIPS]
94
00:04:06,662 --> 00:04:08,540
What about, uh, that one right there?
95
00:04:09,272 --> 00:04:10,560
$800.
96
00:04:10,585 --> 00:04:12,020
Seriously? That's not bad.
97
00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:14,164
Because it's cubic zirconia.
98
00:04:14,439 --> 00:04:15,940
Oh.
99
00:04:18,827 --> 00:04:21,428
Misty deserves a real diamond.
100
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:24,007
I'll be back.
101
00:04:26,256 --> 00:04:27,935
[DOOR BELLS JINGLE]
102
00:04:28,303 --> 00:04:31,230
GETTY [ON VIDEO]: Red Oaks
is more than just a club.
103
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,942
Like America, it's a
shining city on a hill.
104
00:04:35,243 --> 00:04:36,694
It's a beacon,
105
00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:41,315
a symbol of community,
fellowship, freedom,
106
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:43,992
where people from all
walks come together
107
00:04:44,068 --> 00:04:46,821
to serve and celebrate
108
00:04:46,949 --> 00:04:49,409
the good life.
109
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,000
I ask you:
110
00:04:51,314 --> 00:04:53,054
how can you put a price
111
00:04:53,154 --> 00:04:55,831
on the place where your
kids learned to swim,
112
00:04:56,044 --> 00:04:59,466
where you watched fireworks
every Fourth of July,
113
00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:02,219
celebrated your son's bar mitzvah,
114
00:05:02,851 --> 00:05:04,754
danced at your daughter's wedding,
115
00:05:04,808 --> 00:05:06,682
where you renewed your own wedding vows?
116
00:05:06,983 --> 00:05:08,234
Hmm?
117
00:05:08,292 --> 00:05:09,866
The answer is...
118
00:05:10,039 --> 00:05:12,641
you can't put a price on such a place.
119
00:05:12,796 --> 00:05:16,508
And so I'm asking you... don't.
120
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,927
? ?
121
00:05:30,114 --> 00:05:32,158
[SPUTTERS SOFTLY]
122
00:05:37,817 --> 00:05:39,415
So, what do you think?
123
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,025
I'm moved.
124
00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,877
Camera adds a little bit
of weight, doesn't it?
125
00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:44,781
- [WHISPERS]: No.
- No? All right, well, listen,
126
00:05:44,805 --> 00:05:47,047
I got to admit, you got, uh...
you got talent, kid.
127
00:05:47,123 --> 00:05:49,834
- Yeah, tell that to my boss.
- [NASH SNIFFLES]
128
00:05:51,741 --> 00:05:53,445
The hell's the matter with you?
129
00:05:54,966 --> 00:05:57,474
I'm fine. -So how you gonna
get the members to watch it?
130
00:05:57,537 --> 00:05:59,289
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
131
00:05:59,468 --> 00:06:01,428
Think you can sweet-talk your ex?
132
00:06:01,749 --> 00:06:05,457
- Oh, I very much doubt it.
- Oh.
133
00:06:05,614 --> 00:06:08,867
You'll have to find someone else
who's got some pull at the club.
134
00:06:10,178 --> 00:06:13,706
This one outlines the
terms of our agreement.
135
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,747
Okay.
136
00:06:17,547 --> 00:06:19,275
The next one...
137
00:06:19,404 --> 00:06:23,358
releases you from all financial
obligation to the child.
138
00:06:23,972 --> 00:06:26,091
[SIGHS]: Gotcha.
139
00:06:26,212 --> 00:06:30,091
And the last waives all
your parental rights.
140
00:06:30,207 --> 00:06:31,708
[SIGHS]
141
00:06:31,947 --> 00:06:33,126
Okeydokey.
142
00:06:33,168 --> 00:06:34,455
Guess that's it.
143
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,835
Huzzah! [CHUCKLES]
144
00:06:35,921 --> 00:06:37,680
This calls for a celebration.
145
00:06:37,758 --> 00:06:39,844
Where's that good sherry
we've been saving?
146
00:06:39,869 --> 00:06:41,830
Credenza.
147
00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:43,571
So, uh...
148
00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:45,013
[QUIETLY]: when do we do it?
149
00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:47,155
I've been taking my
temperature around the clock,
150
00:06:47,209 --> 00:06:49,237
and according to the
charts, I'm due to ovulate
151
00:06:49,262 --> 00:06:50,623
in the next 24 hours.
152
00:06:50,983 --> 00:06:53,678
- I think.
- That's-that's soon.
153
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,875
To a very fruitful...
154
00:06:57,341 --> 00:06:59,057
partnership.
155
00:07:04,368 --> 00:07:05,995
[EXHALES]
156
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,227
DIRECTOR: How we looking over here?
157
00:07:08,251 --> 00:07:10,747
I want to start... I want
to start over here on a 50.
158
00:07:10,789 --> 00:07:12,429
Let's keep it, let's
keep it pretty wide.
159
00:07:12,453 --> 00:07:14,000
I want it to be able to breathe, okay?
160
00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:16,162
We're about ready. Give me, uh...
give me five, okay?
161
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,314
- Hey.
- Hey.
162
00:07:23,678 --> 00:07:25,586
You okay?
163
00:07:26,263 --> 00:07:28,056
Fine. Why?
164
00:07:28,098 --> 00:07:29,891
I don't know, you seem
kind of quiet today.
165
00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:31,226
DIRECTOR: Look at your lady.
166
00:07:31,268 --> 00:07:32,769
Like you love her, like you love her.
167
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,262
ANNABELLE: I got into a fight
168
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,373
- with my folks on the phone last night.
- What about?
169
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:39,173
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] You name it.
170
00:07:39,198 --> 00:07:41,909
Basically, all of my
life choices so far.
171
00:07:42,188 --> 00:07:44,687
"Living in sin" with Noah.
172
00:07:44,816 --> 00:07:46,534
I'm working as a wardrobe P.A.
173
00:07:46,559 --> 00:07:49,270
instead of a kindergarten
teacher like my sister.
174
00:07:49,717 --> 00:07:52,511
I didn't know you had a sister.
Older or younger?
175
00:07:52,659 --> 00:07:54,207
Neither. We're twins.
176
00:07:54,369 --> 00:07:56,126
Ah. Identical?
177
00:07:56,568 --> 00:07:58,186
We don't look anything alike, either.
178
00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,532
She's really pretty.
179
00:07:59,557 --> 00:08:01,017
Oh, yeah, you're a real gargoyle.
180
00:08:01,042 --> 00:08:03,670
Compared to her... she's a
former Junior Miss Nebraska.
181
00:08:03,948 --> 00:08:05,366
Wow.
182
00:08:05,889 --> 00:08:07,557
She single?
183
00:08:07,676 --> 00:08:10,251
I'm serious. I'm not sure New
York is working out for me.
184
00:08:10,297 --> 00:08:13,139
I mean, I bet I could get a
pretty sweet apartment in Omaha.
185
00:08:13,198 --> 00:08:15,556
- That you could.
- I could marry your sister,
186
00:08:15,609 --> 00:08:17,915
get a job running the A/V
club at your old high school,
187
00:08:17,940 --> 00:08:19,521
maybe take up storm chasing.
188
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:21,982
Wow, you really are
desperate for a girlfriend,
189
00:08:22,007 --> 00:08:23,967
- aren't you?
- Actually, I'm not, no.
190
00:08:23,992 --> 00:08:26,953
It's too much work, and...
I need to just focus
191
00:08:27,018 --> 00:08:28,978
on getting my own shit together.
192
00:08:29,456 --> 00:08:30,540
Yeah.
193
00:08:30,565 --> 00:08:32,287
Relationships are hard.
194
00:08:32,588 --> 00:08:33,756
Exactly.
195
00:08:33,886 --> 00:08:35,665
Well, anyway,
196
00:08:35,707 --> 00:08:37,584
you're not allowed to move to Omaha
197
00:08:37,626 --> 00:08:39,878
and become an A/V teacher
because, for one thing,
198
00:08:40,079 --> 00:08:42,727
then I would have no one
to talk to at work.
199
00:08:42,793 --> 00:08:45,421
And because you're gonna be
a big-time movie director.
200
00:08:45,550 --> 00:08:49,387
Hmm. I'm beginning to wonder
if that's still in the cards.
201
00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:51,473
Don't let Derek bum you out.
202
00:08:51,515 --> 00:08:53,016
He's a creep.
203
00:08:53,123 --> 00:08:54,833
It's not just Derek.
204
00:08:55,025 --> 00:08:56,561
DAVID: Want to know the truth?
205
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,410
- One more time, please.
- It's guys like him.
206
00:08:58,441 --> 00:09:00,801
He's only a couple of years
older than me, but look at him.
207
00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:02,225
DIRECTOR: More French. More French.
208
00:09:02,249 --> 00:09:03,955
He's got total confidence in himself.
209
00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:05,463
Like he's never experienced
210
00:09:05,488 --> 00:09:07,527
an instant of self-doubt
in his entire life.
211
00:09:07,552 --> 00:09:09,991
Plant here. You go one, two, three.
212
00:09:10,033 --> 00:09:14,037
Well, maybe you need to get
yourself some confidence.
213
00:09:14,452 --> 00:09:17,127
Yeah, I'll get working on that.
214
00:09:17,284 --> 00:09:19,382
Are you drunk, man? Let's
get some more wind here.
215
00:09:19,455 --> 00:09:20,581
Come on.
216
00:09:20,606 --> 00:09:22,525
MAN [OVER WALKMAN]: This
is really delicious.
217
00:09:22,655 --> 00:09:25,995
Hontou ni oishii desu yo.
218
00:09:26,047 --> 00:09:30,150
Hontoe ni oheeshee des yo. Hontoe ni...
219
00:09:30,222 --> 00:09:32,422
MAN [OVER WALKMAN]: I love Japan.
- All right. Go ahead.
220
00:09:32,527 --> 00:09:35,457
- Nihon daisuki.
- Nihon daiskee.
221
00:09:35,516 --> 00:09:37,684
Nihon... Nihon daiskee.
222
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,240
MAN [OVER WALKMAN]: I've never seen
223
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,273
- a place so beautiful before.
- All right.
224
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:44,109
- Konna ni kireina...
- Kohnah ni...
225
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,944
- tokoro wa...
- Kohnah ni keeray...
226
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,706
- hajimete mita.
- Kohnah ni keeray... What?
227
00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:48,780
- What?
- [TAPE REWINDS]
228
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,366
MAN [OVER WALKMAN]: Konna ni kireina
229
00:09:51,408 --> 00:09:53,618
- tokoro wa...
- Konah ni... Konah ni keeray...
230
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,060
- hajimete mita.
- ...na to-ko wa...
231
00:09:55,084 --> 00:09:57,399
hahjee... hahjeemehteh.
Hah-hahjeemehteh?
232
00:09:57,432 --> 00:09:58,849
MAN [OVER WALKMAN]: I think of you...
- Hahjeemehteh.
233
00:09:58,873 --> 00:10:00,913
- ...as more than a friend.
- All right. Yeah. Okay.
234
00:10:00,937 --> 00:10:02,294
MAN: Watashi wa, tomodachi
235
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,504
- anata no koto...
- Watashi wa, tomoshi...
236
00:10:04,546 --> 00:10:06,506
- Tomo... Yes, okay. All right.
- [TAPE REWINDS]
237
00:10:06,548 --> 00:10:08,133
MAN [OVER WALKMAN]: ...tomodachi
238
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,734
- anata no koto...
- Tomo... To... Shit.
239
00:10:09,758 --> 00:10:11,760
I... Fuck!
240
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,923
Heatstroke.
241
00:10:24,768 --> 00:10:27,896
Douglas Getty.
242
00:10:29,779 --> 00:10:31,317
He's right there.
243
00:10:33,104 --> 00:10:35,055
- Douglas.
- Thank you for coming.
244
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,290
I really appreciate it.
245
00:10:36,315 --> 00:10:38,317
Ah. I hope you weren't expecting
246
00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:39,988
- a conjugal visit.
- [CHUCKLES]
247
00:10:40,165 --> 00:10:41,457
Don't worry about that.
248
00:10:41,482 --> 00:10:43,609
That's, uh, that's not
why I called you here.
249
00:10:43,694 --> 00:10:46,071
Listen...
250
00:10:46,353 --> 00:10:47,994
I need a favor.
251
00:10:50,027 --> 00:10:52,302
You want me to return a
movie to the video store?
252
00:10:52,344 --> 00:10:54,638
[SIGHS] It's not a movie.
253
00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:55,979
This is a message
254
00:10:56,004 --> 00:10:58,340
from me to the members of Red Oaks.
255
00:10:58,416 --> 00:10:59,960
What kind of message?
256
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,520
Don't sell.
257
00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:04,022
Oy vey. Why me?
258
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,273
'Cause you're on the board.
259
00:11:05,299 --> 00:11:06,579
You can make sure people see it.
260
00:11:06,603 --> 00:11:08,521
Not many minds are gonna change.
261
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:11,571
Including mine.
262
00:11:12,107 --> 00:11:13,531
What are you talking about?
263
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:16,047
I don't get it. Herb, you?
264
00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:18,620
I thought you loved Red Oaks.
265
00:11:18,662 --> 00:11:20,896
- Yeah, I loved all my ex-wives, too.
- [SIGHS]
266
00:11:20,921 --> 00:11:23,130
But there comes a time
when a man has to look
267
00:11:23,155 --> 00:11:25,116
for greener pastures.
268
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:26,920
In Boca.
269
00:11:27,632 --> 00:11:29,070
Weren't a lot of greener pastures
270
00:11:29,095 --> 00:11:30,444
down there last time I checked.
271
00:11:30,469 --> 00:11:31,762
Mainly alligators.
272
00:11:31,966 --> 00:11:33,836
I can't stand the cold.
273
00:11:33,885 --> 00:11:35,429
Jews are a desert people.
274
00:11:35,454 --> 00:11:38,035
We were not meant to shovel snow.
275
00:11:38,458 --> 00:11:42,045
And change is not such a terrible thing.
276
00:11:43,623 --> 00:11:46,667
Herb, you're killing me.
277
00:11:47,522 --> 00:11:49,894
I... listen, I have given a lot of years
278
00:11:49,919 --> 00:11:51,170
to that club,
279
00:11:51,247 --> 00:11:54,125
and I think I deserve to be heard.
280
00:11:56,788 --> 00:11:58,614
Give me the goddamn tape.
281
00:11:58,699 --> 00:12:00,367
Thank you.
282
00:12:03,027 --> 00:12:05,404
[SLURPS OYSTER]
283
00:12:05,789 --> 00:12:08,670
[WHEELER SIGHS]
284
00:12:09,484 --> 00:12:11,736
[WHEELER SLURPS]
285
00:12:13,841 --> 00:12:15,509
Why are you eating oysters?
286
00:12:16,149 --> 00:12:18,310
Had a hankering.
287
00:12:18,803 --> 00:12:19,973
Is that even safe?
288
00:12:20,014 --> 00:12:21,325
Why wouldn't it be?
289
00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:23,314
'Cause it's August and a
thousand degrees in here.
290
00:12:23,338 --> 00:12:25,098
Dude, New Yorkers have
been enjoying oysters
291
00:12:25,122 --> 00:12:26,317
in the summertime for years.
292
00:12:26,342 --> 00:12:27,935
Before the Nazis invented hot dogs,
293
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,446
every street corner in the
city had an oyster cart.
294
00:12:30,582 --> 00:12:32,940
- Okay.
- Want one?
295
00:12:32,965 --> 00:12:35,676
No, thanks. I'm meeting
my dad for dinner.
296
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:37,653
What's Big Sam doing in the city?
297
00:12:37,738 --> 00:12:39,574
He and his girlfriend are seeing Cats.
298
00:12:39,607 --> 00:12:40,921
Know what's funny?
299
00:12:40,946 --> 00:12:42,812
Your dad has a girlfriend and you don't.
300
00:12:43,518 --> 00:12:45,432
Yeah, that's hilarious.
301
00:12:45,457 --> 00:12:47,500
[CHUCKLES]
302
00:12:47,542 --> 00:12:49,753
- What is this?
- Nothing.
303
00:12:50,113 --> 00:12:52,324
Why are you icing your balls?
304
00:12:53,324 --> 00:12:55,119
I just felt like it.
305
00:12:55,184 --> 00:12:56,685
What the fuck is going on, dude?
306
00:12:56,867 --> 00:12:58,369
[SIGHS]
307
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,472
Jockey underpants cause
your sack to overheat
308
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:01,752
and cook your sperm.
309
00:13:01,777 --> 00:13:03,529
And oysters have a ton of zinc,
310
00:13:03,554 --> 00:13:06,015
which boosts your sperm count
and makes them swim faster.
311
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,520
Are you trying to knock Misty up? No!
312
00:13:07,544 --> 00:13:09,793
Jesus Christ. God forbid.
313
00:13:09,949 --> 00:13:12,117
I mean, someday, for
sure, it'd be awesome
314
00:13:12,142 --> 00:13:14,436
to have, like, six or seven
kids with her, but...
315
00:13:14,655 --> 00:13:16,375
- there's no rush.
- Then why are you trying
316
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,444
to level-up your nuts?
317
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:20,519
Because I want to knock
up my lit professor.
318
00:13:21,649 --> 00:13:23,943
It's not what you think.
319
00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:27,969
There's zero intercourse.
320
00:13:27,995 --> 00:13:30,289
All I have to do is jizz in a cup.
321
00:13:30,605 --> 00:13:32,064
And why exactly are you doing this?
322
00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:33,766
Because her husband is shooting blanks,
323
00:13:33,791 --> 00:13:34,974
and I feel sorry for them.
324
00:13:34,999 --> 00:13:38,294
Also, they're paying
me 150 bucks a squirt,
325
00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:41,433
with a big bonus when she gets a...
you know.
326
00:13:43,009 --> 00:13:44,741
Bun in the Easy-Bake.
327
00:13:45,369 --> 00:13:47,479
- And Misty's okay with this?
- No.
328
00:13:47,563 --> 00:13:49,821
No. She doesn't know.
329
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,597
I feel bad, but I figure I'm
doing this for her, so...
330
00:13:52,764 --> 00:13:55,161
Wait, how is impregnating your professor
331
00:13:55,186 --> 00:13:56,521
doing something for Misty?
332
00:13:56,546 --> 00:13:57,650
Because I'm gonna use the money
333
00:13:57,674 --> 00:13:58,874
to buy her an engagement ring.
334
00:13:58,899 --> 00:14:00,019
What the hell? You just said
335
00:14:00,044 --> 00:14:00,998
you weren't in any rush.
336
00:14:01,023 --> 00:14:02,699
To have kids, no.
337
00:14:02,744 --> 00:14:04,413
But I got to do something to take things
338
00:14:04,438 --> 00:14:05,998
to the next level, or I could lose her.
339
00:14:06,165 --> 00:14:07,376
It's about Dr. Ron, isn't it?
340
00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:08,945
You didn't see this guy. He looks like
341
00:14:08,970 --> 00:14:10,890
when he's not fixing teeth,
he's fighting crime.
342
00:14:10,914 --> 00:14:12,067
Wheeler, you've done
343
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:13,552
some stupid shit, but this is, like,
344
00:14:13,577 --> 00:14:15,200
Olympic-caliber stupidity.
345
00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:16,679
You don't know what it's like, man.
346
00:14:16,704 --> 00:14:18,414
You've always had hot girlfriends.
347
00:14:18,439 --> 00:14:20,066
Present moment excepted.
348
00:14:20,091 --> 00:14:22,719
Guys like me, we don't usually
get girls like Misty,
349
00:14:22,811 --> 00:14:24,331
and we definitely don't hold onto them
350
00:14:24,355 --> 00:14:26,899
- without stepping up our game.
- This isn't stepping up.
351
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:29,178
This is acting desperate, and
you're gonna fuck things up.
352
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,802
Yeah, well, at least I'm doing something
353
00:14:30,827 --> 00:14:31,907
and not just sitting around
354
00:14:31,932 --> 00:14:33,151
feeling sorry for myself.
355
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:34,788
What's that supposed to mean?
356
00:14:36,767 --> 00:14:37,902
Forget it.
357
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,239
No, go ahead. Say it.
358
00:14:40,657 --> 00:14:42,201
[EXHALES]
359
00:14:42,226 --> 00:14:44,228
Ever since that dickweed
Derek shit on your reel,
360
00:14:44,253 --> 00:14:45,693
you've been moping around like a dog
361
00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:47,111
that just got his nuts cut off.
362
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,740
- What do you expect me to do?
- Get angry. Do something!
363
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:51,701
Oh, I'm getting angry, all right.
364
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:54,957
You know, I hope you get your bonus,
365
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:57,672
because it'd be nice if you paid
your part of the fucking rent.
366
00:14:57,714 --> 00:14:59,549
[BOTTLE CAP RATTLES]
367
00:14:59,591 --> 00:15:02,176
[DOOR OPENS, SLAMS]
368
00:15:02,744 --> 00:15:04,371
[SIGHS]
369
00:15:10,547 --> 00:15:12,401
SAM: An elephant with so many arms.
370
00:15:12,472 --> 00:15:14,753
Wonder if they pray to him or
they just toss him peanuts?
371
00:15:14,777 --> 00:15:17,382
- Sam, hush.
- [CHUCKLING]: I'm just teasing.
372
00:15:17,524 --> 00:15:19,693
I think that God has a sense of humor.
373
00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:21,928
Well, theirs might not.
374
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,443
Well, the way I see it...
375
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,347
there's only one Guy Upstairs.
376
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,736
To the Hindus, He looks like Dumbo.
377
00:15:28,912 --> 00:15:31,706
To the Baptists, He looks
like Kenny Loggins.
378
00:15:31,748 --> 00:15:33,124
And to the Jews...
379
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,200
to the Jews, He looks
like Leonard Bernstein.
380
00:15:35,287 --> 00:15:36,913
- [CHUCKLES]
- But at the end of the day,
381
00:15:36,974 --> 00:15:39,560
I think all the prayers
go to one postal address.
382
00:15:39,742 --> 00:15:42,077
You are an unusual man, Sam Meyers.
383
00:15:42,225 --> 00:15:43,393
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
384
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,085
SAM: Oh, here he is.
385
00:15:46,137 --> 00:15:47,654
- How are you?
- Good.
386
00:15:47,766 --> 00:15:49,685
- I'm David.
- So nice to finally meet you.
387
00:15:49,739 --> 00:15:51,768
Likewise. -David, do me a favor.
Order for us.
388
00:15:51,793 --> 00:15:53,433
- We've never had Indian before.
- Mm-hmm.
389
00:15:53,458 --> 00:15:55,194
Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. Let me, uh...
390
00:15:55,449 --> 00:15:57,793
SAM: David's always been a
very adventurous eater.
391
00:15:57,818 --> 00:15:59,921
He'll put anything in his
mouth, even as a baby.
392
00:15:59,946 --> 00:16:01,365
Put in crayons, bugs.
393
00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:03,601
One time, right, even put in dog dirt.
394
00:16:03,719 --> 00:16:05,764
Dad. -Sam, don't you
go embarrassing him.
395
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,343
It's my job. I have to. [CHUCKLES]
396
00:16:08,493 --> 00:16:10,453
Well, if you gentlemen will excuse me,
397
00:16:10,495 --> 00:16:12,538
I'm gonna go sneak off to the ladies'.
398
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,584
You okay?
399
00:16:16,841 --> 00:16:18,127
Fine.
400
00:16:18,467 --> 00:16:20,964
Wheeler and I got in a fight.
401
00:16:21,446 --> 00:16:23,466
Roommates.
402
00:16:23,808 --> 00:16:25,009
So, what do you think?
403
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:27,011
Uh, we should probably
start with the samosas.
404
00:16:27,084 --> 00:16:28,763
No, no, no, about Shirley.
405
00:16:28,977 --> 00:16:31,349
Oh, yeah. Nice. Yeah. Really nice.
406
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:32,850
SAM: Yeah.
407
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,849
Yeah. Hey, you don't
mind that she's, uh...
408
00:16:36,783 --> 00:16:38,383
[WHISPERS]: Well, you're not upset that,
409
00:16:38,407 --> 00:16:39,652
you know, she's black?
410
00:16:39,858 --> 00:16:41,192
Why would I be upset?
411
00:16:41,618 --> 00:16:43,111
I knew that you wouldn't be.
412
00:16:43,152 --> 00:16:44,404
It's just I didn't want
413
00:16:44,445 --> 00:16:45,965
to spring this on you without warning.
414
00:16:46,659 --> 00:16:48,716
I don't need warning.
415
00:16:49,582 --> 00:16:51,557
I know.
416
00:16:53,911 --> 00:16:55,621
Okay.
417
00:16:55,876 --> 00:16:58,671
[PIANO PLAYING SOFTLY]
418
00:17:00,739 --> 00:17:02,714
E-Excuse me, Rebecca.
419
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,200
- May I have a word, please?
- [CHUCKLES]
420
00:17:05,251 --> 00:17:06,993
We were just about to go in to dinner.
421
00:17:07,018 --> 00:17:08,520
It will only take a moment.
422
00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:10,179
You go on ahead.
423
00:17:10,221 --> 00:17:12,265
I'll-I'll catch up.
424
00:17:12,977 --> 00:17:14,488
What is it?
425
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,709
Have the Japanese made their offer yet?
426
00:17:16,849 --> 00:17:18,713
Yes. Mr. Shimada and his partners
427
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,999
have made a rather generous one.
428
00:17:21,024 --> 00:17:23,151
So what happens now?
429
00:17:23,372 --> 00:17:27,073
Well... the board brings it
to membership for a vote
430
00:17:27,137 --> 00:17:29,014
in the next few weeks.
431
00:17:30,903 --> 00:17:33,578
I wonder if I could ask you a favor.
432
00:17:33,891 --> 00:17:36,289
Would you put in a good
word on my behalf?
433
00:17:36,417 --> 00:17:39,098
I know that ordinarily
they would be inclined
434
00:17:39,138 --> 00:17:41,062
to replace me with a
teaching pro of their own,
435
00:17:41,109 --> 00:17:42,910
but perhaps with your recommendation,
436
00:17:42,935 --> 00:17:45,631
they might see fit to keep me on.
437
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,300
Oh, Nasser, I...
438
00:17:47,723 --> 00:17:49,594
I thought you knew.
439
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,179
You thought I knew what?
440
00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:54,038
Mr. Shimada and his
partners aren't interested
441
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,768
in taking over the
management of Red Oaks.
442
00:17:57,235 --> 00:18:00,438
They intend to close down the club.
443
00:18:00,748 --> 00:18:02,314
I beg your pardon?
444
00:18:02,339 --> 00:18:04,549
It's not the club they
want, it's the land...
445
00:18:04,598 --> 00:18:06,475
for a housing development.
446
00:18:12,153 --> 00:18:13,988
I see.
447
00:18:16,285 --> 00:18:18,873
Well, it would appear that all
my Japanese language lessons
448
00:18:18,915 --> 00:18:20,813
were for naught.
449
00:18:21,046 --> 00:18:23,006
I'm sorry.
450
00:18:23,548 --> 00:18:25,059
Would you excuse me, please?
451
00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:27,522
I need to go update my r�sum�.
452
00:18:35,369 --> 00:18:36,537
Thank you.
453
00:18:36,562 --> 00:18:39,424
Thanks. Well, we better shake a leg
454
00:18:39,449 --> 00:18:40,969
if we're gonna make it to the theater.
455
00:18:40,993 --> 00:18:42,586
Mm. Well, good night, David.
456
00:18:42,611 --> 00:18:43,856
It was such a pleasure.
457
00:18:43,898 --> 00:18:45,942
- Yeah, I hope I see you again soon.
- Mmhmm.
458
00:18:45,983 --> 00:18:47,463
SAM: You going back to the apartment?
459
00:18:47,487 --> 00:18:49,904
- Thought I might take a walk.
- Okay, well, you have fun.
460
00:18:49,953 --> 00:18:51,224
- Say hey to Wheeler.
- I will.
461
00:18:51,249 --> 00:18:52,542
Okay.
462
00:18:56,209 --> 00:18:58,211
[SIGHS]
463
00:19:00,814 --> 00:19:02,854
CECIL: Come in, come in.
464
00:19:02,901 --> 00:19:06,129
Now, Bee's just in the bedroom
checking her temperature.
465
00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:07,895
Now, can I get you anything?
466
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,672
No, I'm okay, thank you.
467
00:19:10,288 --> 00:19:13,092
FOX: Dear, brave Wheeler.
468
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:16,264
Hi, Professor. -I think
given the circumstances,
469
00:19:16,373 --> 00:19:19,790
that you should call me Beryl.
470
00:19:19,983 --> 00:19:21,485
Okay. Cool.
471
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,146
Beryl.
472
00:19:23,393 --> 00:19:24,561
Are you ready?
473
00:19:25,107 --> 00:19:26,149
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
474
00:19:26,688 --> 00:19:28,023
I think so.
475
00:19:28,061 --> 00:19:29,604
- Where do I...?
- The powder room
476
00:19:29,629 --> 00:19:31,757
is down the hall.
477
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,245
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
478
00:19:42,957 --> 00:19:45,020
? Memory ?
479
00:19:45,045 --> 00:19:49,341
? All alone in the moonlight ?
480
00:19:49,613 --> 00:19:53,864
? I can smile at the old days ?
481
00:19:53,953 --> 00:19:56,622
? I was beautiful then ?
482
00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:01,549
? I remember ?
483
00:20:01,574 --> 00:20:03,451
? The time I knew ?
484
00:20:03,476 --> 00:20:06,938
? What happiness was... ?
485
00:20:07,481 --> 00:20:09,358
I thought it was great...
I mean, the music
486
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,028
and the costumes... but I thought
it was a little unrealistic.
487
00:20:12,053 --> 00:20:14,806
Because my cat Gracie,
I've never heard her sing.
488
00:20:15,018 --> 00:20:19,064
[LAUGHS] Well, maybe she
just waits until you leave.
489
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,828
What? I... Hey! Stop!
490
00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:23,060
- He...
- Hey! Hey!
491
00:20:23,085 --> 00:20:24,457
Oh...
492
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,979
Son of a bitch.
493
00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:32,132
[PANTING]
494
00:20:33,716 --> 00:20:34,884
[GRUNTS]
495
00:20:34,926 --> 00:20:36,552
Damn it!
496
00:20:38,095 --> 00:20:39,764
[PANTING]
497
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,000
[EXHALES] Come on,
dude, you can do this.
498
00:20:46,067 --> 00:20:47,333
Just focus.
499
00:20:47,358 --> 00:20:49,280
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Yes?
500
00:20:49,357 --> 00:20:51,525
CECIL: Everything okay
in there, old man?
501
00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:53,847
Fine. Sorry I'm taking so long.
502
00:20:53,927 --> 00:20:55,554
No apology necessary.
503
00:20:55,579 --> 00:20:57,706
No rush. Take your time.
504
00:20:57,764 --> 00:20:59,141
Okay.
505
00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:01,785
I brought you something that might help.
506
00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:06,457
What is this?
507
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:10,435
18th century erotic French poetry.
508
00:21:11,609 --> 00:21:14,382
- Okay.
- You do read French, don't you?
509
00:21:14,642 --> 00:21:16,776
- No.
- Oh.
510
00:21:16,922 --> 00:21:18,487
You have any fashion magazines
511
00:21:18,512 --> 00:21:20,221
or a Victoria's Secret catalog?
512
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,847
Afraid not. Oh!
513
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:23,351
But I do have a delightful book
514
00:21:23,376 --> 00:21:26,342
of pornographic mosaics from
Pompeii and Herculaneum.
515
00:21:26,435 --> 00:21:28,128
I'll just fetch it.
516
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:32,500
WHEELER: Sorry, we're not
in, but leave a message
517
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:34,852
and we'll get back to you
at some future juncture.
518
00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:35,979
[LINE BEEPS]
519
00:21:36,237 --> 00:21:37,863
- [COIN DROPS]
- Did you get them?
520
00:21:38,313 --> 00:21:39,824
Just the machine.
521
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:42,159
Well, wh-what do we do now?
522
00:21:42,599 --> 00:21:44,985
Catch a cab, hope they
take credit cards.
523
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:46,667
But-but how will I get into my house?
524
00:21:46,692 --> 00:21:48,819
My-my keys were in my purse.
525
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:51,839
Anyone you know have a spare?
526
00:21:52,503 --> 00:21:53,963
Yes.
527
00:21:54,237 --> 00:21:56,280
My brother.
528
00:22:04,996 --> 00:22:06,039
[GASPS]
529
00:22:06,064 --> 00:22:08,107
Success?
530
00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:13,190
Well done! [CHUCKLES]
531
00:22:13,278 --> 00:22:14,654
Thank you.
532
00:22:17,701 --> 00:22:19,221
SAM: It was the damnedest thing, Terr.
533
00:22:19,246 --> 00:22:21,480
He came out of nowhere,
like a ninja or something.
534
00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:24,609
You know, I tried to chase him,
but h-he was just too fast.
535
00:22:24,791 --> 00:22:26,793
- Get in the car.
- I'm telling you,
536
00:22:27,163 --> 00:22:29,355
this city's going to the dogs...
and I blame Koch.
537
00:22:29,417 --> 00:22:30,999
- He's too soft on crime.
- Shut up.
538
00:22:31,024 --> 00:22:33,752
- Oh, come on, Terry.
- Just get in the back.
539
00:22:39,689 --> 00:22:41,162
Listen, Terry...
540
00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:43,654
I'm sorry that you had to
find out about us this way.
541
00:22:43,715 --> 00:22:45,384
We were gonna tell you earlier, honest.
542
00:22:45,458 --> 00:22:48,028
It's just... we were waiting
for the right time.
543
00:22:48,097 --> 00:22:50,933
Right time? There is no right time.
544
00:22:52,660 --> 00:22:54,487
- What does that mean?
- That's my sister.
545
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,913
My baby sister!
546
00:22:55,979 --> 00:22:57,856
I'm 48-years-old.
547
00:22:57,898 --> 00:22:59,949
She's vulnerable; she just got divorced.
548
00:22:59,974 --> 00:23:02,465
Oh, please... like, three years ago.
549
00:23:02,490 --> 00:23:04,053
Didn't I say get in the car?
550
00:23:05,512 --> 00:23:07,234
Fine.
551
00:23:08,849 --> 00:23:10,476
[DOOR OPENS]
552
00:23:12,292 --> 00:23:13,919
Thank you.
553
00:23:18,738 --> 00:23:20,549
You took advantage of
her, and you know it.
554
00:23:20,725 --> 00:23:22,725
Otherwise, you wouldn't
have been sneaking around.
555
00:23:22,749 --> 00:23:23,991
Come on, Terry.
556
00:23:24,016 --> 00:23:26,325
Don't "Terry" me, motherfucker.
557
00:23:29,748 --> 00:23:31,390
You're a racist.
558
00:23:31,796 --> 00:23:33,344
You son of a...
559
00:23:33,405 --> 00:23:35,031
[SCOFFS]
560
00:23:35,739 --> 00:23:38,278
You got five seconds to
get in this goddamn car,
561
00:23:38,303 --> 00:23:40,305
or you can walk.
562
00:23:47,201 --> 00:23:49,620
- ?
? - [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
563
00:24:09,807 --> 00:24:12,226
? ?
564
00:24:30,435 --> 00:24:32,062
Hey.
565
00:24:35,315 --> 00:24:37,854
Excuse me, um, this is strange.
566
00:24:37,968 --> 00:24:39,518
A friend of mine used to work here.
567
00:24:39,543 --> 00:24:40,783
I don't know if she still does.
568
00:24:40,807 --> 00:24:43,143
- Uhuh...
- her name's Skye.
569
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:49,638
? Under a blue moon I saw you ?
570
00:24:49,787 --> 00:24:52,873
? So soon you'll take me ?
571
00:24:54,202 --> 00:24:57,581
? Up in your arms, too late to beg you ?
572
00:24:57,655 --> 00:25:01,493
? Or cancel it though
I know it must be ?
573
00:25:01,768 --> 00:25:03,603
? The killing time ?
574
00:25:05,465 --> 00:25:07,592
? Unwillingly mine ?
575
00:25:09,728 --> 00:25:12,230
? Fate ?
576
00:25:12,255 --> 00:25:16,050
? Up against your will ?
577
00:25:16,075 --> 00:25:19,787
? Through the thick and thin ?
578
00:25:19,883 --> 00:25:23,511
? He will wait until ?
579
00:25:23,594 --> 00:25:28,265
? You give yourself to him... ?
580
00:25:36,341 --> 00:25:40,011
? In starlit nights I saw you ?
581
00:25:40,046 --> 00:25:44,259
? So cruelly you kissed me ?
582
00:25:44,367 --> 00:25:48,079
? Your lips a magic world ?
583
00:25:48,254 --> 00:25:52,258
? Your sky all hung with jewels ?
584
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:54,362
? The killing moon ?
585
00:25:55,666 --> 00:25:58,794
? Will come too soon. ?
586
00:26:04,129 --> 00:26:06,590
[MUSIC FADES]
587
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:11,190
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